#basically it's gonna be more centered on the sisters but we'll address the romantic relationships as well

[ladynestaarcheron]

My Sister's Keeper

ao3 - master post

so basically i was inspired by @dustjacketmusings marveling at the poor plot of a/cosf and thus this was born. au, starts right after nesta tells feyre that they've all been keeping the fact that her pregnancy's terminal from her.

enjoy!

---

Her words hang in the air like a thick, choking smog. Amren snarls something at her, but Nesta doesn't pay her any mind. She stares only at her sister.

Feyre's hand goes to her belly. Tears drip down her face, downcast, as she says, "Rhys knew? About the threat to our lives?"

And it breaks Nesta, shatters her into a million little pieces on the floor. Even though he's wronged her monstrously, even though he's condemned both her and her child to die, even though he's got all her friends and her healer involved...her first thought is still of him. Not anger on her own behalf, but...of him.

Nesta steels herself, making the decision. If Feyre will not act on her own behalf, then Nesta will for her.

Amren switches her tone, makes herself gentle to address her. Tells her she should speak to Rhysand. So he can explain it all away, wipe Feyre's tears, spin more false promises.

"Listen to her," Nesta says, unable to keep the disgust from her voice. "Feyre, she's not even sorry. She's known this whole time and she never intended to tell you--"

"We are going to find a way!"

"You took away her choice," Nesta hisses. Composes herself. Rage like this...it will not do, not now. "They made your choice for you, Feyre. And it's your body and your future. Their heartbreak, maybe, but...your life. It should've been your choice--it can still be your choice."

At this Feyre looks up. Broken, hopeless. It's as though she is already dead. "What do I even do?" she asks.

Nesta reaches a hand outward. "Come with me."

She hesitates for a moment, wiping at her eyes. But it's only a moment, and she nods before she draws her hands away, then takes Nesta's arm.

---

Nesta moves her sister around quickly. She's familiar with Velaris' alleyways, good at getting around without being seen. Feyre doesn't stop her crying the whole rushed walk, but Nesta doesn't blame her. She's been hurt. She can cry. Nesta will keep angry enough for both of them in the meantime.

The townhouse has been left unlocked, but still furnished. Nesta sits Feyre down at the kitchen table and turns around to make tea. She heads over to the liquor cabinet, intending to add some brandy, before she remembers Feyre probably isn't drinking any alcohol.

The tea is ready too soon, and then it is poured, and handed, and there is nothing else to busy herself with. Nesta is faced with a sobbing Feyre. She takes a spot next to her and, unsure of what to do, puts a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be all right," she says, then repeats herself, more determined. "I promise."

"How c-can you s-say that?" Feyre manages in between gasps.

"I promise," she insists. "Is he..." she taps the side of her forehead.

Feyre nods, still crying. "But I told him I don't want to talk to him." Her sobs grow louder. "He's mad at you! I can't believe he's mad at you!"

Nesta blinks. Her cheeks flush with a pleasant warmth. This is good news, then. Not that Rhysand wants to kill her--although, really, that isn't quite news at all. But good news that Feyre has not entirely lost herself that she doesn't know who's in the wrong here. And good news that Feyre is, well, offended on her behalf. She had not thought...at their intervention, it had not seemed to bother her that Rhsyand and Amren--but this isn't about her.

After some more awkward pats and encouraging Feyre to drink tea, when she is calmer, Nesta admits, "I should have told you earlier." Once the confession is spoken aloud it is easier to formalize it. "I'm sorry." It's not so miserable to say the words, actually. It feels...not good, but right. A bit of right in this fucked-up massacre that is her life. "I thought it was wrong, and I..." she trails off. Rhysand hadn't threatened her in words, just a look, and it seems inapt to seek blame elsewhere.

But perhaps Feyre knows her husband as well as she thinks she does. She straightens, and says quite brusquely, "He told you not to."

Nesta doesn't answer. She might've liked to half an hour ago, but...it'll only serve to further hurt Feyre. And she's wickedly furious with her, but there's no use kicking her sister when she's down. This is to help her, after all. To aid her where she has been wronged

"I think you should rest--"

"I don't have any time to rest," Feyre interrupts, a righteous anger fueling her. From her heartbreak, perhaps. "He's wasted my time." She looks down at her belly. "And I'm on a clock."

Ah. A mother's rage, then.

Nesta clears her throat. "I don't...take any pleasure in telling you this, Feyre, but...they said they can't find a healer who can remove the--fetus. And that when non-Illyrian females deliver Illyrian births...they both die."

"I can shift."

"You can," Nesta agrees. "But you should know your healer says that might hurt the baby."

Feyre falters.

No good options. But still; Feyre should have been allowed to make a choice. She could've chosen to end it early. It would have hurt, yes, but not as much as this, when she's felt it move inside her, when she's painted out their future, when it's wrapped up in this betrayal.

And it doesn't matter whose fault it is, Nesta knows right away. It's Feyre who will bear the cost on her own flesh.

"I'm sorry," she says again. And then again, and again, more miserable each time, and before she knows it, she is crying too.

---

Later, when they have carried each other to the bed that was Nesta's, and they lie there, still in their clothes, Feyre whispers, "I want to have my child."

Nesta closes her eyes. What is worse? Having to help her sister, alone, through a stillbirth? Or facing the unknown like this?

It doesn't matter. Because the choice is only Feyre's, and she has made it.

"You will," she says. Then adds, once more, "I promise."

#acotar #nesta archeron #archeron sisters #this is kinda short i'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow #it'll be very angsty so that'll be fun #basically it's gonna be more centered on the sisters but we'll address the romantic relationships as well #lmk what you think<3