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#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am
milflewis · 2 months
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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scum-belina · 5 years
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Nothing been happening aside from the usual routine of mom working and me only getting out of the house to pick her up and bring her back home. Today we ran out of water containers and needed to check our internet so we’re at my granny’s and I filled all the buckets and jugs outside in freezing temps while my aunt and her deadbeat husband just glared at me next door for whatever fucking reason. Still just trying not kill myself and just focus on studying tbh but it’s still hard to have hope things will get better. This Christmas season seems to be making my depression worse along with my situation. My mom surprised me with the complete series of burn notice last week and said “merry Christmas. don't expect anything else” and bought herself the complete series of office for Christmas lmfao. Also idk if I've mentioned this since I moved back home but my grandpa HAS been officially diagnosed with dementia, which he should have been over a year ago bc I knew even back then he had no business driving. 
While I’m glad to not be living with my grandparent’s anymore, living at home with my mom is in some ways worse. Today mom is off work and is cleaning her room up and keeps getting upset seeing some of dad’s stuff in the room and having to throw it away or decide  give it away. We’re going to try and put our tiny Christmas tree up on one of the tables today and even that is going to be depressing. Nothing feels happy here there’s no feeling of hope or anything good, just burden and pain. Any time I try to talk to my mom she reacts even worse than she used to. She says things like “WELL HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? HAVING TO WORK TO SUPORT YOU WHILE YOU DONT APPRECIATE IT AND WANT TO DIE? IF ONLY YOUR DAD WAS STILL ALIVE.” and on and on. She keeps screaming at me that I’m impatient and to wait on her to finally get the backpay over my dad’s disability case, but again there’s no telling when that will happen. 
For the most part everything is the same old miserable shit here, unfortunately. I’m sorry it’s not better news I feel like an asshole constantly having nothing really positive to say about my life like I’m sorry lol. Please don’t mistake my lack of being online or not socializing as much as me forgetting about you all bc that is ANYTHING but true. I miss you all terribly and think of you daily and love you all so much and when I get internet back home whenever tf that will be I’m gonna catch up with you all so hard so GET READY I LOVE YOU ALL
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jungnoir · 7 years
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bodyguard!wonwoo;
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for this sweetie’s bodyguard!wonwoo request!!
so, how wonwoo got to being a bodyguard was definitely not intentional
like he didn’t just put in an application and hope for the best!!! he was recruited by a friend actually
in wonwoo’s youth, he was always a pretty strong, tall kid
his mom would have him move the furniture whenever she felt like the house needed a change, or he would help the kind granny next door carry her groceries inside whenever she needed it
his parents were under the impression that wonwoo was getting all this muscle from being on the basketball team, which he was on (with good friend and basketball captain seungcheol) of course, but he was also working those muscles punching bullies in the faces
it was no secret that a friend of jeon wonwoo’s was a friend you didn’t fuck with
like his youngest friend lee chan would be walking home with the rest of his friends and wonwoo would see a bruise forming around chan’s eye and he’d just instantly lose it
so he goes to find that asshole who’d been picking on chan despite wonwoo’s warnings for the last month and he’d slam the dude so hard into the nearest locker that something probably broke
and the guy would piss his pants when wonwoo looked down at him, expression hard and emotionless
“didn’t I tell you last week that if you kept messing with my kid you’d be six feet under?”
of course, wonwoo doesn’t actually have the heart to kill on the usual, but when it comes to those he loves, he damn well just might
he’s basically the resident savior of the school and no one in their right mind would bother anyone innocent lest that person run off to wonwoo because that’s like death coming to your door
his parents would never allow such behavior and probably wouldn’t even believe anyone if they told them what wonwoo got up to at school, so wonwoo makes sure to keep his wounds minimal and the amount of friends he invites over small
but like, he didn’t know how famous he really was for his brute strength
and one day he gets cornered by this senior and wonwoo thinks he’s gonna have to show him a thing or two, but the guy just smirks and holds his hands up and is like “i’ve seen you fight before kid. you ever think about doing it for money?”
it’s not like his family has reached rock bottom yet, but it’s also not like he can pretend to watch as his mother eats only half a bowl of food so that wonwoo, his little brother and his dad could eat
and he can’t pretend he doesn’t notice how long it’s been since his brother had a new pair of sneakers
and he can’t pretend his dad wasn’t overworking himself at the office just to bring a few measly extra bucks home every night
the guy promises wonwoo doesn’t have to fight if he doesn’t want to, just tells wonwoo to show up to a place downtown on friday night to see what it was all about
so, reluctantly, wonwoo lies to his mother that he’s studying with jihoon and mingyu and goes downtown, perfectly poised and ready to make a run for it if needed bc the place is definitely not lacking in shadiness
the lines outside are kept to a minimum and the bouncer at the door is none too friendly until wonwoo flashes him a card the senior at school gave him, and suddenly he’s being ushered to a front row seat inside what looks like a huge wrestling dome
wonwoo starts to feel nervous when they bring out contestants, but nonetheless he stays like steel in his seat and watches as the night begins
and suddenly a rain of money is being thrown over his head toward the fighters as they begin to beat each other to what looks like the death, the fight quickly turning gruesome as the two men attempt to tear each other apart with nothing but force and violent fists
wonwoo knows it’s wrong, and he really shouldn’t be here, but he can’t even tear his eyes away, let alone find the will to get up and leave
the opponents include a big, strong dude with more muscle than wonwoo, and the other is a scrawny but quick thing who ends up winning in the end
“in the end, it’s all about strategy” a voice whispers next to his ear, and it’s the senior again, smiling almost wickedly as wonwoo looks back at him “even a guy like you could take down a brute like Big Papa over there if only you have a strategy. it’s not all about muscle down here. you can play as dirty as you like, for more money in one night than your parents make in a year”
and wonwoo knows it’s a terrible idea, practically goes deaf with the voice of his own consciousness telling him it’s wrong... or maybe that’s the sound of the crowd cheering his name...?
it’s a blur, but all he knows is that a week later, he’s in the ring, winning two hundred thousand won against an experienced fighter because wonwoo just so happened to be a pretty springy opponent 
he makes so much money that he’s actually able to get himself a place in the city when he graduates, and he’s able to put more food in the kitchen than his mom could store, and his dad could finally take that vacation he’d been wanting, and his little brother could get into that really good school his parents had been dreaming of for years
the only catch is, of course, that wonwoo has to tell his family where he got the money from
but because of the danger and illegality of the job, he knows that they could be hurt or worse if, say, a sore loser seeks revenge on him and finds his family 
so instead, wonwoo leaves them with more money in their savings than they could have ever dreamed of and promises that he’d take care of them no matter what, and then he’s disappearing from their lives for their own good, because the life he’s mixed up in is not a life his family should be involved in
he does underground fighting for about five years, and he’s not proud of himself or who he’s become
his family has been trying to get into contact with him for all of those years, but the most he ever leaves them with is a duffle bag of a few million won on the front porch and a letter letting them know he’s still alive, still misses them, still loves them
his mother caught him one early morning, when he had startled the resident stray cat by tripping over one of his mother’s flower pots
she had only made eye contact with him through the crack of the front door before he was dropping the bag of money at the step and giving her a small smile, before disappearing into the dark dawn of the day
his mother is just happy he’s really still okay
so, it goes on like this until one day the place wonwoo fights at gets raided and he needs to disappear for a while, but with that comes loss of income bc now he has nowhere to get money from and he’s not willing to go anywhere else to fight, especially since he’s gotten so comfortable and the places people are whispering about are in places he’s never even been to and of course he can’t just leave his family behind, it’d only be that much harder to care for them
and just randomly one day, he gets a call from his friend seungkwan who’s currently working in music
seungkwan mentions that there’s this new idol sweetheart who has just moved from her old company to the one seungkwan works for and they’re in the process of getting everything switched and yada yada wonwoo is almost bored of the conversation
until seungkwan mentions that they’re looking for suitable bodyguards for the idol, because the scandal with her and her last company was that her last bodyguard left her unattended in her dressing room and she got swarmed by obsessive fans after a show
so seungkwan is groaning about it bc he has to go through piles and piles of applications for the bodyguard position, a good chunk of which are just coming from stalker fans who want to get close to their favorite idol, when wonwoo is like “...could i apply?”
and seungkwan is like !!!!! hell yes!! you’d be perfect for this!!
he gives wonwoo the application and everything and seungkwan even puts in a letter of recommendation for him
and wonwoo is really only doing it bc he knows he’s no good at anything other than using his fists and protecting the people he cares about, and if this job means he has to do that for some stuck up idol then so be it
he’s not even expecting the call he gets from the ceo of the company the next day, asking him to come to the company for a “personal evaluation”
a personal evaluation happens to be an extensive background check and multiple layers of paperwork that wonwoo could barely remember the contents of before he’s really given the job
“the subject also has one question for you, to determine if you are really fit for the job: are you... are you fast enough?” the man at the desk reads off, looking a lil lost
until the two men hear a high pitched laugh outside of the door and the sound of pounding footsteps running down the hall
and sure enough, when the two go to investigate, there you are, grinning over your shoulder as you dart down another hallway, most likely on your way outside when you catch an elevator for the first floor
and wonwoo is off like a rocket, even as the doors shut and you’re already flying down several floors, he’s sprinting down the stairwells two steps at a time, determined to catch you before you get outside
he seems to be pretty good at this too, since he’s standing in front of your elevator just as the doors open and you clumsily collide into his chest where his hands grip your shoulders to push you back some steps so he can get a good look at you
your cheeks are rosy and your hair is all over the place, but you’re also laughing like a little kid
“you really are fast” you declare, folding your arms over your chest with an exhausted huff, looking him over as he stands completely composed and stoic
but on the inside he’s trying really hard to show that those stairs didn’t wind him lol
“i’m jeon wonwoo, your new bodyguard, nice to meet you” wonwoo introduces himself in a monotonous voice
you smile and pat his arm, nodding to the left of the elevators where the company’s complimentary cafe is “i’ll buy you a coffee and we can get to know each other, how’s that sound?”
of course, wonwoo respectfully can’t refuse so he follows you anyway, and tries to keep his order simple and plain because honestly, what would he look like ordering every sweet on the menu when you’re paying and it’s his first day?
he silently cries as he drinks his boring black coffee and longingly looks at the vanilla cream puff flavored latte you ordered and are currently enjoying very audibly to his disdain
“my manager told me this you’re the only candidate who wasn’t a bodyguard previously, but you seem pretty qualified. what did you do before this?” you ask, watching him over the straw over your drink
“underground fighting” he deadpans
“illegal?” “extremely” “are you any good?”
wonwoo is kinda shocked you even asked, bc he more than expected you to get nervous around him when he told you about his previous occupation, but instead you’re staring at him with excitement in your eyes like he’s just told you he used to slay dragons in his past life
and, ok, the sparkle you just got in your eyes when you asked is kind of adorable
“hopefully i’ll never have to prove it to you” he says, and your visage deflates a little at the thought but you know he’s telling the truth, and instead you nudge his leg under the table, instead focusing your eyes on the healing scars on and near his knuckles, which he hides from your sight the moment he notices
“you’re probably right, but i still think it’d be pretty cool. i can tell you’re not that kind of guy, anyway”
wonwoo wants to Object because what do you even know? you’ve only been talking to him for half an hour, how could you possibly deduct that about his personality?
and sure, the look in your eyes is something like absolute certainty but you were wrong. you knew nothing about him and you were wrong
right?
but then you’re telling him you’ve got voice lessons so the conversation is postponed and he is already on his way to escorting you to the room you’ve got to go to, and you’re waving him a goodbye for now, knowing he wouldn’t be needed until you had to go somewhere other than the building
so on his way back to the office he’s handed his suit by seungkwan which is “dry clean only and if you destroy this thing I will personally wring your neck”, a pair of nice shoes and an ear piece that would allow him to communicate with other body guards or even you yourself since it is capable of picking up phone calls
of course he’s expected to try it out for the first time and you just so happen to finish your lesson a little while after they get him suited and booted so you sneakily hide behind a wall and watch as he and his friend fiddle with the cufflinks on his sleeves and he wiggles the little earpiece around
and then you pull out your phone and dial the number you’d been given for him, which starts vibrating in his pocket and he presses a little button on the ear piece to answer “hello?”
in the creepiest voice you can muster, you whisper “hey there sexy, looking good in that suit”
almost immediately wonwoo twists around and catches you giggling into the receiver of your phone, and when you two make eye contact you bolt like sonic the hedgehog
and wonwoo just sighs
“she’s a handful, huh? don’t worry, you’ll warm up to her” seungkwan says with a small smile, nudging wonwoo who just huffs and broods
“doubt it”
and thus begins wonwoo’s job as your bodyguard
a job more entertaining than he expected
he spends most of his time trying to keep you from goofing off rather than keeping crazy fans off you
like you’ll literally just be en route to a restaurant up the street from the company to meet with some singer for a collab but you’ll do a complete detour and run into a store because “it’s a 40% off sale jeon! 40%!!!”
he’s always on the verge of doing a shit load of apologizing to anyone you inconvenience but no matter what you do, even if you break some priceless thing in an antique shop, because you’re famous, no one has the heart to say anything to you??
and he can’t help but feel a little jealous at how untouchable you are
at times he doesn’t even think he really needs to be there, if no seems to have the balls to get on your bad side
he just feels really out of his element with you, like he’s entering a world he shouldn’t have even thought about being in
and when you mingle with other stars or whatever he always has this urge to overreact bc he knows a lot of these ppl through his mom and chan,,,,,
like you’ll be in an interview with your upcoming drama co-star and he’ll be biting his fist cause fuck his mom would kill him if she ever found out he didn’t get a picture of kim ji soo while he was there sharing the same air
and when the interview is over and you’re talking with ji soo and a producer you see wonwoo staring daggers at ji soo and you get really confused until you see him fumbling with his phone and you suddenly 💡!!!
“wonwoo!! come over and meet ji soo!” you wave him over, and he nearly drops his phone but also ok,, ,he can do this,, ji soo is just a man and- fuck he just looked his way. how is he that handsome in real life
you start talking wonwoo up to ji soo like “this is my amazing bodyguard, wonwoo. he’s a big fan, would you mind taking a pic with him?”
and ofc ji soo doesn’t mind so he sidles up to wonwoo and wonwoo’s hands are shaking far too much to take a pic so you take the phone from him, fingers brushing against his sweaty palms with a giggle and you turn to ji soo like “he’s just a little nervous. you should put your arm around him”
wonwoo: 🚫HOLD❗️UP❌I DID NOT⛔️ALLOW❗️THIS
but ji soo is already squishing wonwoo into his side and damn... he really smells nice. his mom is gonna freak
you take multiple pictures of them just posing, but then ji soo turns to wonwoo and is like “bro you look really clean in that suit, like the men in black” and wonwoo is so pleased he thinks so so he just :)
and meanwhile you’re giggling and taking a few discreet pics of the both of them, focusing in on wonwoo’s cute fanboy reaction
when they finally part and wonwoo is back to his usual stoic self, you hold up the phone to his face and there’s a picture of him looking at ji soo with literal heart eyes
and before you can comment wonwoo is like “let us never speak of this moment again. also. which picture best captures my good side”
it’s the first time you’ve seen such of side in wonwoo and you can’t help thinking that you want to see more, if he’d let you that was
from then on, it’s like your mission to poke out that cute, innocent side of his that he worked so hard to keep from you and others
little by little, you began to unravel the being that was wonwoo
but as you grew restless with the waiting, you decided to turn to seungkwan for some help
and you know. seungkwan. might have said more than he should have
seungkwan ended up spilling nearly everything about wonwoo to you, from his high school days to the underground fighting
and even though you knew about the underground fighting, hearing just how strong and powerful he really was and just how many shady fights he’d been in, where opponents fight damn near to the death, you start to wonder if that cute side of wonwoo’s is really... him
wonwoo notices the change in you immediately, when you go from being all silly with him to kind of keeping to yourself, and at first he rejoices bc finally!! some peace and quiet
but hours of quiet turn to days of quiet, and then weeks, and wonwoo is really concerned that he did something wrong
so he manages the courage to ask you one day
immediately you try to act like you had been aloof to it the whole time, but of course, wonwoo can see right through you, and it angers you but it doesn’t surprise you
wonwoo has been the only person to see right through you since you came into this industry
“did you... did you like underground fighting? even when some people never really came back from those fights... the same?”
and wonwoo lightly curses under his breath bc he knows exactly who you’ve been talking to, and he knows that that person can be pretty bad at relaying information some (most) of the time
“no, i didn’t... like it. i didn’t like knocking people unconscious for sport, but i did it to help. my parents kept pretending like they weren’t on the verge of losing everything and i... was wasting my fists away in school, punching every bully in sight. at least with underground fighting, i got paid. a good chunk of that money i made went to my parents and my brother to make sure they were settled”
“you haven’t seen your family in a while, have you?” you ask, and he looks at you like you’re prodding into the innermost parts of his mind for him to open up, something that makes him squirm under you gaze despite the comfort you try to convey to him
he just shakes his head, unable to say more in fear of bursting when he’s been working so hard to stay together
you can’t fathom why this boy, trapped in a man’s body, works so hard to pretend nothing hurts him
why he does his best to be the unbreakable, unfeeling wall of steel
why he refuses to get close, and how even when you chip away at his facade, he’s always right behind you, ready to fix it back up again
you know that you’re a long ways away from getting him to open up completely, but you try whatever you can to at least encourage him to
he ends up meeting your family at a family bbq you invite him to one day and honestly?? he doesn’t realize until he’s helping your dad flip burgers and playing table tennis with your mom that this is the first time he’s been around a family setting in years
seeing the dynamic between you and your fam as you just kick back and let loose and drop the professional facade you have to keep when working sparks something in him he hasn’t felt in a long time
he nearly has to run to the bathroom to collect himself because he’s suddenly thinking of his parents and his brother and how much he misses them
by the end of the night, all of you are sitting by the fire pit and drinking a little bit but of course wonwoo takes something light because he has to drive you home later and you lean against him a little, to his surprise, and sigh, “i hope today made you feel a little less alone”
wonwoo externally is all poker face but on the inside he’s like
,,,, not to be emo but wtf ;-;
so he’s driving you back to your apartment in the city, and when you arrive you ask him to help you take up the leftovers your mother has packed you because there are far too many for you to carry on your own
so wonwoo obliges and helps carry the damn near ten bowls of leftovers your family had left bc you couldn’t cook for your life and needed it all lol
wonwoo even helps you arrange everything in the fridge, being a gentleman and putting a few things in the freezer because he knows you might eat everything at once if it was readily available to you
and you perch yourself on the kitchen counter with a tired but content sigh, watching him fuss about your kitchen bc you “never clean up after yourself” and “can’t wash a dish right to save your life” and he honestly sounds more like your mom than your mom does at the moment
as you watch him, smile fond and gaze fonder, you grab his arm as he’s walking by and just pull him into a hug
he’s pretty startled so he freezes up in your hold and doesn’t really know what to do
i mean sure, being touchy is your thing and you often give him kisses on the cheek or side hugs when he greets you in the morning to start the day, but this hug feels...
consoling? soothing?
it feels like so much more than just your arms around his neck
“i know you don’t want to tell me everything yet. so i’ll wait for you”
and like that, the dam breaks, and wonwoo lets the tears fall, arms idle at his sides, “why do you care so much? i only work for you. nothing more” “wonwoo... don’t you get it? you’re a friend to me, of course i care about you.”
and carefully, you push him back with arms still wound about him so that you can see his red eyes and quivering lips
you gently brush underneath his eye with your thumb, “i can see when someone is holding too much in. it’s okay to let that go now”
he pulls you back in, for the first time hugging you first
you can tell he’s needed a hug like this and it’s a long time coming, so you hold him
and that night he spills all his burdens to you
about missing his family, and about the life he’s chosen and wondering if it’s a good one
he’s still afraid to acquaint with his family too much even after leaving the underground life bc he’s so scared that maybe some angry opponent from years ago would find them and hurt them
but underneath that fear is also the fear of rejection, and thinking that they wouldn’t want to see him again after leaving for so long
right?
when he’s aired out all of his feelings, he leaves for the night feeling a lot lighter in the chest
and that’s when the wheels in your mind start turning
you recruit the help of seungkwan, who reveals that wonwoo’s 21st birthday is coming up and that he wants to do something special for his friend
so you ask seungkwan to round up all of wonwoo’s friends from high school and put in a little special request so that you can make wonwoo’s birthday the best birthday he’s ever had
on the day of his birthday, wonwoo doesn’t act any more different than usual, coming in and greeting everyone and not dropping any hints of what day it is
he gets a funny text from you that day for him to meet you at the company rather than at home, so he takes his instructions, albeit a little confused
you tell him to meet you in your usual practice room and he’s on his way in, completely clueless
when he opens the door, the lights are off and seemingly no one is there
he flips on the lights, and immediately glitter is raining from above and a chorus of screams ring out in the room, all singing a discordant version of “happy birthday, wonwoo!” 
and wonwoo can’t even pretend to be unfazed, he’s smiling way too hard
he sees amongst his friends soonyoung, jun, seungcheol, joshua, vernon, seokmin, and even little chan who definitely isn’t little anymore (jesus, where does the time go ;-;)
all of his friends surround him and give him pats on the back and warm congratulations, and there you are standing in the midst of it all with a cake and his name on it
the cake is in the shape of a teddy bear that looks just like him, and he can’t help but shake his head at you before taking in a breath to blow out the candles
“wait!! you have to make a wish!” seungkwan scolds, and wonwoo blinks at the boy before shutting his eyes and doing as told, and then he’s blowing them out 
“what’d you wish for?” chan asks excitedly, clinging to wonwoo’s arm
the older boy just glances from chan to you, and then laughs a little “nothing for you to worry about, kiddo”
so the fourteen of you (and a few co-workers who heard the commotion) eat cake and reminisce on wonwoo’s life in high school and you hear so many good blackmail stories that nearly have wonwoo taping all of their mouths shut
chan’s got the most out of all of them lol
“i remember this one time wonwoo and i went-” “no chan, that story is boring” “well, what about that time we saw-” “no chan, that’s not appropriate” “okay!! what about that time we did-” “no chan, that was illegal”
but it’s all in good fun, and you find yourself cracking up more in one day than you have in a while
wonwoo is in the middle of scarfing down the last slice of cake when he sees you make eyes at seungkwan, and his suspicions start to rise
discreetly, or at least to everyone else, you leave the room, and wonwoo has a really strong urge to follow, but you’re back within three minutes
“i think it’s time for the gift for the birthday boy, don’t you think?” you say, and seungkwan walks over to wonwoo, his hand comforting on the back of the boy’s shoulder
wonwoo is really curious now, but before he can ask, the door to the room opens again
and in walks his family, smiling tearfully as they take him in
his dad looks like he’s trying not to cry and his mom has her hands over her mouth as she takes in her son, having grown up without her for the last five years
even his little brother, who he remembers barely coming up to his chest is now almost towering over him, smiling though his cheeks are already wet
wonwoo doesn’t even care that anyone else is in the room. he runs straight for them with unabashed love
they hug for a long while, the four of them just relishing in the fact that they had wonwoo back in their life and vice versa
wonwoo is apologizing over and over again like it’s the only words he knows, and they might as well be because he can’t find himself saying anything else as he looks at his family’s faces
he just feels so sorry and so terrible for how long he’s been gone, and he wants to beat himself up for it all until he’s gotten their forgiveness
but he doesn’t even have to
they already do forgive him
eventually, the other boys clear out to give them their space, and you offer to give them a tour of the company to pass the time
as they’re rough-housing with each other, you walk with seungcheol whose got his hands deep in his pockets and he looks pensive, smiling quietly to himself
“you like him a lot, don’t you?” seungcheol suddenly asks, and you look at him like he’s grown a second head
“l-like?? who?? wonwoo???? that brick wall?? haha. no. ha. no no no no no. he’s not even my type”
seungcheol quietly listens to you blabber on, grinning every time you stutter over a word
and then you turn to him with an utterly hopeless expression and just defeatedly nod at him
“thought so. both of you get a little puppy dog look in your eyes when you look at each other” 
to which. your interest is...... piqued
“both?” you ask, looking hopefully at him
seungcheol pats your head pitifully and is like?? you really thought huh??? that boy played you. he’s got a crush and it’s bad
so fast forward a little while later, wonwoo and his family find you all and the boys admit they have to head back to class or work so you bid them all adieu,,,,, and of course ,,,not before seungcheol smirks and winks at you and nods his head at wonwoo very unhelpfully
wonwoo ends up asking if it’s alright if he can take a few extra hours off to eat dinner with his family at home later, and instantly you’re like ofc!!! take the whole month off!!! talk to your family :)))
and then his mom is like “thank you so much for helping set this up. would you like to come to dinner too?”
wonwoo is about to break the news that you have a few interviews and recording sessions scheduled later that day and that you wouldn’t be able to take off, but recklessly you’re like screw that lol i’m coming with
wonwoo wants to scold you so bad but. i mean. you’re also the reason he’s going back home with his family for the first time in years so. ://. he’ll save it for later
when you guys pull up to his neighborhood, wonwoo, you, and his brother walk around the place, greeting neighbors they grew up with and pointing out all the places they spent their time at as children
some kids even stop by to get your autograph and wonwoo pretends to stop them as “your loyal bodyguard” but the kids just shove him out of the way like move wonwoo this is a once in a lifetime thing
and wonwoo is like rude. i babysat you when i was sixteen. show some respect
wonwoo’s brother also shares some embarrassing stories of wonwoo,,,, of which wonwoo wants to hit him for but decides that he can do that later after they’ve finished being all lovey dovey and catching up
by the end of the night, you’re gonna go home with a completely different view of jeon wonwoo than you started with
eventually, you all huddle in for dinner with his family and they’re all so warm and accepting of you, asking all about the life you live and the music you make
you end up making his parents into fans!!
wonwoo’s brother even admits to having a bit of a fan crush on you and you do a bunch of cute gestures for him just to get him flushed in the cheeks
as the night comes to a close, wonwoo asks you to meet him outside
and because his family lives out in the country, the view of the stars at night is spectacular
he sets out some lawn chairs his family has and the both of you just kick back and look at the stars, sharing a bowl of grapes (of which you and wonwoo continuously throw at each other, trying to see who has the better aim
he keeps catching them with his mouth damn it
“thank you, by the way. i don’t think i’ve said that yet today”
you look over at him just as he shoves a handful of grapes into his mouth with a content sigh
he smiles at the stars and takes in a deep breath “this is probably the first time in five years i’ve felt so... peaceful. so thank you, really. you’ve done so much for me, and i swear i don’t deserve it”
you pop his head and he lets out a grunt of pain but it mixes in with a laugh
“don’t say that, jeon wonwoo. you deserve this peace more than you give yourself credit for. you bring me peace of mind, so the least i could do is return the favor”
wonwoo ends up just kinda looking at you, the stars twinkling above and the sounds of his mother singing from inside the house carrying out into the warm summer night
“what’s... that thing you’re always telling me to do? be open with how i feel?” he asks, and you furrow your brows in confusion
“i’m probably jinxing the night, and that would be very typical of me, but i also can’t keep quiet so just... please listen okay? you’ve been something of a friend to me these past few months i’ve been working with you. especially after that night i spilled everything to you. i feel like i can trust you and i’ve never really had a person like you in my life. someone that just... understands me right off the bat. so i guess i was a little scared getting to know you and making any steps to form a deeper relationship other than professional because it felt too good to be true. but after tonight... i’ve realized something? and i think i should let you know what it is”
your breath is coming out shaky now, and all you can do is manage a stunned nod, the only thing on your mind being the words seungcheol had spoken to you earlier
“i think i have feelings for you. and i’m terrified of it. i’m used to pushing away people that could mean something important to me in fear of fucking up their lives like i’ve been doing to my family for the last five years, but i can’t... can’t live like this anymore. after seeing my family again, i’ve realized i can’t do that anymore. i’ll take all the consequences if i have to, and i totally understand if you want me resigned and out of your life by tomorrow morning. but if you feel the same, you don’t have to say it yet... just stay here with me for an hour longer. that’s all i ask. if you get up and walk away i’ll know-” 
“god........ you’re such an emo, wonwoo. i’m not going anywhere. ya hear me? nowhere. i like you too, you idiot.” you push his arm lightly and he looks at you dumbfounded, so you just shoot him a tiny smile, nudging him with your foot 
but i mean, could wonwoo have expected any other kind of response from you?
“did you... i just confessed to you and you called me an emo and an idiot in nearly the same breath” “yeah, well, if the shoe fits”
wonwoo so badly wants to pull you into a headlock and give you a lil noogie but it’s also probably Not The Time
so he just nudges you back with content, watching the cute little smile on your face as his hand falls to lean over the arm of his chair and to brush against yours, just as you link your fingers together in solidarity, “how cliche. the bodyguard falling for the pop star”
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