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#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees
dirt-str1der · 1 year
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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eurofox · 1 year
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Yakuza kiwami 2 review
Another game I really enjoyed, same for every title in this series TBH. I miss the way you can select styles but the dragon engine was fine, although I wasn’t too keen on the emphasis on weapons, I prefer to stick to Kiryu’s fists tyvm. Any gameplay wise this was fun, but plotwise? eh....
Spoilers:
The good Shit:
Still tonnes of fun
Looks great, everyone feels less stiff
Sending people flying
Less loading screens
Ablse to throw people in shops and smash the shit out of the place
NPC’s getting mad when you smash the shit out of the place
Kaoru isn’t half bad as far as female characters go
Ryuji is good (but could have been great)
Daigo, my beloved (although he’s more of a pain in this game, it’s still his debut)
Yayoi is bad ass
Once again, an outstanding soundtrack
Ally heat actions are funny as fuck
Majima’s stupid ass Vince Vaugn strut
That fucking baby man fetish substory
eating for experience worked very well, immersive
The osaka castle bit is fine, you all just hate fun 
Baby Kiryu
Majima construction is alright
Date san is back with his helicopter
Storing weapons is handy
Car chase section in this game is fine actually
The Bad shit:
Too many scam substories
Bosses are fairly meh, Ryuji was pretty easy. I didn’t have trouble with the man in black either.
random encounters got annoying, these fuckers chased me across the whole fucking map
Rush sections are meh
Soundtrack hasn’t been released
The florist again and his stupid fucking son
Really good tunes wasted on dumb shit. Why doe that old fuck looking for a shogi piece have the best theme tune? 
Daigo is a moody pain in the arse most of the time
Kaoru and Kiryu joking about traumatising Haruka to have that dumbass kiss
The plot needs it’s own section, as it’s a mess. Here goes:
It tries to do WAY TOO MUCH. It should have just focused on the Omi war and saved all the Korean shit for another game. The Omi invasion boils down to a handful of guys causing a bit of a ruckus in a few locations. All that build up for that? What a letdown
Because of all the Jingweon crap, Daigo and Ryuji don’t get the development they deserve, despite being interesting.
The whole Daigo thing makes no sense anyway. First off, he has almost no experience besides being Dojima’s son and Kiryu liking him. He himself points out the Tojo is a mess and he shouldn’t lead it. Kiryu says it could be great again because of men like Kazama and Shimano(y’know who killed fucking Kazama). Daigo still says no so Kiryu (mr chairman for a day) decides to teach him ‘responsibility’ by beating seven shades of shit out of him. Daigo proceeds to follow along but gets his ass kicked repeatedly, gets kidnapped and held hostage alongside his mum. However, he is one of the few who has some common sense when it comes to guns. Also, I though his shooting of Shindo would lead to more, considering Kiryu’s stance on killing, but nothing comes of it. Ok then. I do really like Daigo so I’ll let all this slid, but christ, it makes no sense.
EVERYBODY IS KOREAN just gets annoying. How did nobody realise that an OMI high ranker and a detective were Korean mafia members.
Also Terada and the other guy are the world’s oldest looking teens in that flashback
The whole Tereda plan with diffusing the bomb makes little sense to me still.
Again, It’s a solid entry and worth playing. I liked the dragon engine even if I missed the variety of style switching. I was still engaged in the plot, just don’t think too hard about it. Also Daigo is my fave character and it’s cool to see him grow throughout.
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recentanimenews · 7 years
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FEATURE: "Yakuza 0" Review
When a series has gone on long enough, it's hard to find a place to jump in. I get asked every week where the best places to start are for One Piece and Gintama, and the same can be said for games with a consistent, long-running story like Sega's Yakuza series. I played the first two games back on PS2, but for various reasons never picked the series back up despite absolutely loving those early games. I played a bit of Yakuza 3, and didn't play any of the fourth or fifth games, but it's Yakuza 0 that's made me a fan again.
    Taking place fifteen years before the first Yakuza game, 0 follows a much younger, hotter-headed Kazuma Kiryu, a nobody in the Dojima Clan who's relatively new to the gang life. Everything seems simple enough--do your work, keep your head down, show respect to your seniors--but accusations of a murder (technically once again) drag Kiryu into a wild conspiracy and put him at odds with Dojima leadership. Meanwhile in Osaka, you also get to play as a much younger, somehow-less-crazy Majima Goro, Kiryu's lunatic rival, as he works to get back into the family he was kicked out of. It's a lot of rough, grimacing men in suits, dramatic shouting, and sudden double-crosses as Kiryu and Majima have to fight for their lives, and eventually for each others'.
    I know that all sounds very grim and serious, but one of the Yakuza series' finest points is its sense of humor and relaxing atmosphere--between tense cutscenes and shocking story revelations, you get to run around town and soak up the local experience: food, massage parlors, karaoke, classic Sega arcade games, and of course, beating the living crap out of every random thug who thinks they can take you down. You'll also run into a huge variety of side quests, where Kiryu and Majima get to help a band be cool and tough for their fans, give a hapless errand boy some backbone, and track down a kid's stolen video game, among many others. You're never at a loss for things to do in Yakuza 0, and while the tone may not be consistent, this is much-needed levity and a chance to catch your breath before you dive back into the main story.
    Combat feels just like it did back in 2006--that's not a bad thing, as it's a pretty straightforward 3D brawler with some nice quality-of-life improvements. Kiryu and Majima can, as before, build meter to unleash powerful "Heat" attacks, which can be used barehanded or with weapons, and use a variety of counters and environmental interactions to trash the opposition. In a series first, characters can now learn three different fighting styles, upgrading them on boards that remind me of Final Fantasy X's Sphere Grid. The sheer number of times you're going to get stopped in the street can get kind of annoying, but the ferocious (and sometimes hilarious) options at your disposal makes each fight a chance for you to show off, and possibly make even more money.
    Money makes the world go 'round in Yakuza 0, and while you can certainly make money just by beating down random goons, you're given a few higher-risk, higher-reward opportunities with the Business minigames. Kiryu can get involved in real estate, buying and investing in properties to try and push out rival developments, and will sometimes have to patrol neighborhoods and beat down troublemakers to keep payments coming in smoothly. Majima gets to run a hostess club, providing white-glove customer service as a manager and helping his hostesses feel safe and comfortable. Both of these minigames are addicting as hell and very distracting from the main game--not only is it a chance to earn more cash to level up your fighting skills, but you're literally doing work that the yakuza (allegedly) have their hands in, so it just adds to the atmosphere and never feels like you're just doing busywork.
    Running around town and doing sidequests is great, but you'll eventually have to go back to the story, with its sometimes-unskippable cutscenes and long sections where there's either no spoken dialogue or minimal character animation, breaking the game's immersion. For all my love of the game's awesomely manly characters and feel, you're constantly interrupted, and at times have to listen to a character repeat the same sound bytes over and over again while you read through reams of text, and then suddenly it's time for a gorgeously-animated cutscene and the whole thing just feels inconsistent.
    Yakuza 0 does a lot right, and even its imperfections have the same charm as its characters: rough men with hearts of gold who may not be on the straight and narrow, but they know right from wrong. This seems like a lot to take in--a winding story, an accessible-yet-deep battle system, and two separate businesses to run in addition to all the side quests--but I can't think of a better place for new Yakuza fans to start. Get acquainted with Kiryu and Majima in their early days, then you'll be all set for Yakuza Kiwami (a from-the-ground-up remake of the first game) sometime in the spring. Longtime fans already know what's up--come back to the glory days when Kiryu and Majima were just small fry, and fight your way to the top. Y'know, after I find a new part for this pocket racer.
    REVIEW ROUNDUP
+ Balances a badass, brutal crime story with plenty of humor and heart
+ Characters each have three unique, flashy, and satisfying fighting styles to learn, keeping combat fresh
+ Massive variety of side quests and collectibles mean you'll never run out of things to do
+ Business minigames not only feel right at home, but are addicting and never feel like a grind
+ Perfect starting point for new players, and a great flashback for hardcore Yakuza fans
+/- The story is great, but unskippable cutscenes (and some inconsistent presentation) breaks the mood
- Camera can sometimes be unreliable in tight quarters
- Constant random encounters can get annoying when you're just trying to reach a destination
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Nate Ming is the Features and Reviews Editor for Crunchyroll News, creator of the long-running Fanart Friday column, and the Customer Support Lead for Crunchyroll. You can follow him on Twitter at @NateMing.
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