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forensicated · 2 months

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This is part one of an octology of episodes centered around Smithy, the Samuels' family and assorted friends/not-so-friends (putting it mildly!) of theirs. Over the last few months, Smithy has become quite fond of Carly as their paths have crossed in various ways and he's almost a little bit of a paternal figure towards her at times.

Smiffina Episodes: Witness Part 1 - Innocent Blood

Uniform are called to a house party at Carly's bestie's house Alesha "With 2 N's" Danniels that has gotten out of hand on the Jasmine Allen Estate. The doorman was Alesha's boyfriend, Tito Morientes. He has been stabbed but won't say who by, only "the money, the money." Smithy spots Carly sneaking out and questions her about what happened to Tito, realising it was her who called it in. She tells him that she saw a man argue with him. Alesha is in a state of shock, saying there was only meant to be 10 people present. As more backup arrives, Smithy tells them to shut down the party and he takes Carly's arm, telling Diane to come with him because Carly said she'd help them pick out the suspect. "When did I say that?!" Carly scowls. "Just now." Smithy says, leading her along to the car.

"Why didn't I get an unlicensed mini cab? I could have been robbed or assaulted but at least I'd be home by now!" Carly's phone rings and she refuses the call, claiming it's an ex who doesn't know he's an ex yet. "Good!" Smithy glances back at her for a second. "A boyfriend would just distract you!" Carly spots the suspect and points him out to Smithy. "Right, I'm gonna have to get you out the car, but go straight home!" "Yes, Dad." Carly mocks with a sigh.

Unfortunately their suspect, Eric, is rather good at parkour and escapes onto the roof. "Not going to get after him then Sarge?" Diane quips. "Don't let me stop you." Smithy smirks, picking up the bag he's left behind that contains a reflective yellow vest. "He's half man, half goat!" Diane insists.

At Alesha's, Beth has found advertising that says it was a pay party and there's drug evidence. Alesha's father returns and is horrified at what has happened to his house. The locals on the estate are not exactly forthcoming with information either and a group of children set fire to things from Alesha's house in a pile in the middle of the estate. Nate follows one to his flat and knocks. The woman who answers it is very confused and claims her grandson is still in bed. She calls for him to come to see the officers. He appears, wearing his dressing gown and pretending to have just woken up. He's given away by his jogger bottoms falling down his leg. It becomes clear through the interview that Dennis is his grandma's carer and she isn't able to look after him and he hasn't been able to bathe in a while.

At the hospital, Smithy tells Emma that it was a pay party. There's no sign of the money on him when he reached hospital so they suspect the motive to be robbery. Emma thinks the scars on Tito's back have a definite pattern to them, potentially a gang sign. The knife is a craft knife, customised to have two blades instead of one so that it's harder for wounds to heal. Smithy finds Tito has a caution for possession of cannabis but the lad he was arrested with was a member of the Creekside Boys gang. Other than that, peoples opinion is that he's 'a good kid' but it is noted that his father threw him out of the house a few months ago.

Later, Tito insists he's fine, that it's just a scratch and no big deal. He claims he didn't see who did it despite the defensive wounds on his hands. His only description is that he was 'white'. He denies it's anything to do with the Creekside Boys. They track down his suspected attacker to a local rubbish tip where he works and are given his name and address by his boss.

In the canteen, uniform discuss "Noddy's Caravan" or rather a Community Social Hub on the Estate. Most mock the idea but Beth thinks it would really help because engaging with the residents makes them open up to them. She tells them a resident told her that the bullet holes on the ticket mean that it was Marlon Reed's party. Marlon is known to the police but also known for witness intimidation so the cases never get to court. He's also Carly's boyfriend.

Smithy goes to see Leanne and Carly at their new flat. Leanne explains that - thanks to Smithy - Carly has bucked her ideas up and is looking after Brooke herself and things have gotten better with Brooke's dad Dwayne. The downside is Marlon and his 'designer thugs' that are always present. Smithy and Marlon face off and Marlon insists he knows nothing about their suspect or the stabbing and claims that the tag on the invites is nothing to do with him as he hasn't used it for months. "Is that it?" "For now." Smithy growls.

Carly admits to Smithy that Marlon is a mistake and she doesn't want to be with him now she's realised what he's like. 'Marlon isn't someone you can just dump'. Smithy suggests she finds a nice accountant or librarian. She rolls her eyes and tells him that Tito will say he is a Creekside member but he isn't really, he only hangs around with them so others leave him alone as he is biding his time until he can get to college. Marlon isn't a member either and "does his own thing." Carly also tells him she feels guilty about the party. She'd let Marlon know he could come over with a few friends as her dad had agreed to 10 people. Tito was overwhelmed by the amount of people who rushed in and daren't say no. She thinks the money was for Tito's rent arrears and without it he's likely to get evicted from his council flat. The council tell Smithy the flat is actually listed as vacant. As Eric works for the council on the bins as well as living on the estate it's likely he knows which properties are vacant and could be subletting them illegally.

When uniform arrive to arrest Eric they find Marlon is already beating him up with some thugs. Marlon is caught but Eric manages to get free and leads the officers on an elaborate race using his parkour skills that lasts for quite some time. At the end of it, Eric thinks he's outrun them all ... only to get slammed face first into a wall by Gina who arrests him. "Oooh hello!" She says to Smithy and Reg who appear over the wall and are literally gasping for breath. "I really hate running!" she snaps to Eric - despite being the only uniform officer on the estate who HASN'T been running after him. 😂

Jo interviews Eric who claims he did nothing to Tito. He goes quiet when he realises they know about his rent scam. He then admits hitting Tito but has nothing to do with Tito's back and Marlon was only beating him up because the money he took was Marlon's.

Nate flirts with a pharmacy assistant to get some information about the tablets that Dennis' gran is on. In doing so, he also scores a date. Vera is on serious medication for a number of conditions. She has seizures and is also very forgetful. Like Dennis, she also tries not to let on it's only the two of them. Nate suspects Dennis is setting fire to things as a cry for help and to release frustration. As they discuss it they have a call to a burning car he has gotten trapped in. Nate has to pull him out with seconds to spare before it explodes. At the station Nate tells Gina he's researched Dennis' parents. There's no sign of his father and his mother is in prison for another 18m. He's been looking after his gran alone for 2 years since he was 10. Gina tells him to look deeper into the family. Thankfully they track down Vera's brother who she dropped contact with when her daughter was sentenced out of embarrassment and he's keen to help. He's not the only one. Nate cancels his date, side steps a drink with Sally and goes to see Dennis after work on the quiet to make sure he's really ok and explains that everything's going to change for the better from now on.

CID update Smithy that Marlon is the most likely suspect as it's similar to another 'tag' that he uses. Marlon is brought in and plays the nice guy, insisting he only went to get the money back from Eric to give to Alesha to pay for the damage to the house.

Smithy goes to ask Carly why she identified Eric as Tito's attacker when she knows it was Marlon. She blames Smithy for making her care about other people, especially Brooke and her mum and points out that he can't protect her from Marlon for the rest of their lives. Smithy suggests if she can't/won't make a statement then she could give them a clue that could help them put Marlon away. She tells him she told the truth, she did see Eric and Tito arguing but she didn't tell him that Marlon got angry and took it out on Tito. She tells Smithy that Marlon's 'boys' held him down whilst Marlon slashed him. She also tells him the rough area to find proof. Back at the station, Jo and Grace take Tito's shoes to 'test for blood traces.' He's happy to hand them over... until he sees the police dog sniffing them for his scent to track as a cover for how they'll hopefully find the evidence. The dog - Sheila - alerts the handler to a blooded hoody discarded in a quiet corner. Emma bags it and before long, Sheila finds the knife. "Clever girl!" Jo smiles. "... It's all part of the job." Beth beams back before Jo clarifies she meant the dog.

Alesha subtly tells Jo and Grace that Tito is changing and hanging around with the gang more to the point he's given up one of his hobbies - football. They tell him they suspect Marlon but Tito insists not and won't be drawn even when they tell him that they know the stabbing was a 'tagging'. The detectives continue telling him that if he goes up against Marlon he will keep coming back again and again. He refuses to press charges and leaves the hospital with his 'crew.'

Marlon claims the hoody was stolen at the party. He shrugs off claims that the knife will have his fingerprints on because Tito won't press charges. Unfortunately Marlon gets bail. There's a strong uniform presence on the estate in case of reprisals. Smithy goes to give Carly the heads up. He promises her it'll be ok and that the forensics should tie in and Tito can still be called to court as a hostile witness. Carly closes the door so Leanne can't hear, telling Smithy that she's going to take Brooke and move away so that Marlon can't find her. Smithy's shocked but tells her he reluctantly understands, but not to change her mind about Marlon. She promises him she won't and that she'll send him a postcard when settled.

Gina and Smithy head up a briefing of a group who volunteered for overtime. They bring everyone up to date about Tito and Marlon and that they are going to be visible on the Jasmine Allen Estate for a long while incase war kicks off between the two groups. They also confirm that there will be a new community hub soon on the estate so residents can drop in with information, tip offs and get help.

Later, Smithy's not happy to see Carly heading towards Marlon and his friends, but she tells him she's only going to see Alesha to apologise for what happened. Marlon stakes his claim, waving to Smithy as he keeps his arm around Carly's waist.

The girls bust Nate's mission of mercy as they spot him leaving Dennis' flat whilst patrolling the estate on overtime. He tries to claim it's a coincidence but Dennis, his gran and great uncle grass him up by coming out to thank him and Dennis apologises for what he'd been doing. The girls tease him about his 'hot date' and Nate laughs but then grabs the girls and pulls them down with him as he thinks he hears gunshots but thankfully it's just Marlon's gang letting off loud fire crackers.

They continue to watch as seconds later, a car pulls up. Two hands appear out the blackened windows, firing at least 9 shots at the group before speeding off. The gang scatters as Emma calls in with a partial index and Smithy speeds back. Carly is on the ground and Marlon is slumped, staring at her as all the officers arrive. He then gets to his feet, giving Carly one last look before pulling his head up and walking off (!) whilst Smithy drops to his knees to try save Carly.

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flowersdaggersviolasandblood · 7 months

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Blood, Flesh, and Tears

Name: Torment (He/Him)

Race: Zariel Tiefling

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengence)

Background: Haunted One

I finally got Halsin to join the party! Let's talk about it :D

So last we left off, I went to the House of Healing in hopes of finding Arabella's parents in time that we could bring them back in one piece. However, it seems that it's scripted for them to die, even if you immediately rush to their location. After killing the nurse, Torment and the gang ventured further into the House of Healing. After killing the nurse at the reception desk, I accidentally picked a dialogue option where Malus Thorm kills himself by having his nurses show their surgical craft to their teacher. I killed the nurses afterward to make up for that, but whoops. During all of this, I thought I accidentally fucked up. So, there's a man that Thorm and his nurses were torturing and with the option I chose where Thorm allowed himself to get killed by his nurses, the guy got got and died.

For a moment, I thought I fucked up because I couldn't find where the quest marker was taking me. Only for me to discover that Malus was holding on to a lute associated with that Art guy back at Last Light Inn. After exploring a bit of Reithwin and getting rid of the toll troll and fat albert (I got lazy and just went for the KYS options), I rushed back to Last Light in and played Arts lute, which I find funny because I doubt Torment can play any instrument lol.

After waking up Art, he informs us of what happened to Thaniel, which gives Halsin an idea of where we can find him. He's in the Shadowfell, but he would have to make a portal there to reach him and he asks that we protect the portal until he returns with Thaniel. Despite Torment's protests to go with Halsin because of the possible dangers, he agrees to defend the portal. And goddamn was Halsin close to being stuck in the shadow realm lmao. Halsin returns back to Last Light with a unconcious Thaniel, but there's something wrong.

Back at camp, Halsin deduces that the young fey boy has become split and that their other half is somewhere in the Cursed Lands. Which, we don't have to search for long because we know who and where this other half is, Oliver! This is also the point where Halsin starts to actually travel with us!

After officially recruiting Halsin to the party, we made a bee line straight to Oliver. After confronting the boy about his true identity, we are teleported to the back of the Denny's as we are put into combat to fight Oliver. Now, because Larian can't just let us kill children, we're not actually fighting Oliver. We instead gotta weaken a protective shield around him by taking out his Shadow (or Wraith, don't remember) mommy and daddy along with the shadow clone jutsu clones of himself. After handling that, I got a admittedly awkward cutscene where Halsin convinces Oliver to join back with Thaniel...However, Halsin was a owlbear during the fight and he didn't revert back...soo... Regardless, we got the job done.

Even after Thaniel is made whole, he's unable to restore the Cursed Lands due to Ketheric Thorm. Because I spoiled myself for this quest, this makes me feel a little better about having not accomplished this back in my Pero run because regardless of saving Thaniel, we are essentially still told to go and deal with Thorm. What cancels that out, however, is that Pero doesn't have Halsin as a companion yet because I accidentally locked myself out of the quest ;A;.

With Halsin recruited, we got to learn a bit more about him. But before we get back with Halsin, let's talk about our new friend, He Who Was (HWW).

So after we explored the inn, we found the receipts that confirms that the dead murders' guilt in written form. HWW asks that we act as judge as they use themselves as a conduit to bring back the persons' soul so that they may inhabit it for a short while. Torment agrees and we are faced with...A guilt-ridden woman. She sorrowfully explains that she didn't intend for her friends to be killed, that the Dark Justiciars simply asked if they could "talk" with them and out of fear, she pointed them in the right direction. She didn't know they would kill them, which, like, ok stupid.

Torment had little remorse for her, mainly because she's already dead, so nothing he says or does to her would really matter...However, he was kindly asked by HWW to torture her and make her face her sins. So he asked that she take a knife and stab themselves until he tells them to stop, the same way her friends died from the Dark Justiciars. But, remember, HWW's body is being used by this spirit, so Torment forgot to consider that the woman would be stabbing his body while trying to stab her own.

Fortunately, HWW was able to severe the connection, but he was a bit...upset lol. I ended up fighting him in the end and, you know, I'm honestly surprised I haven't lost my oath yet.

To end this, Torment and Halsin have a one on one together. Torment learns that Halsin knew of Thaniel when he was a boy and when he discovered that the fey boy protected the nature around him, Halsin made it his mission to protect him. So he became a Druid. We also learn that Halsin didn't willingly become Archdruid, it was forcibly placed in his lap when their previous Archdruid died during the fight against Thorm and the previous Dark Justiciars some centuries back. Of course, I picked the dialogue option where Torment asks why Halsin has big titties (that's not really what the dialogue option said, but that's still a question everyone may have asked him) and to get his work out routine because Halsin is rather tall and large for an Elf.

Halsin then expresses that he does some minor arts and crafts and likes ducks. Which, since I've decided that imma do a Halsin/Astarion/Torment run with this, I like to think that Torment had a brief memory of small hands touching a duckling. The memory didn't result in any cruelty done to the animal, Torment isn't even sure if the memory is his, but it does take him aback. This doesn't make him think that he and Halsin is connected somehow, for the memory looked a bit too city life for someone like Halsin to inhabit and the hands shared the same skin tone as Torments.

Snapped out of the memory, Halsin asks what hobbies Torment partakes in. Which, Torment honestly expresses that the hobbies he know of involves blood, gore, and death. Which gives some disapproval points to Halsin as he awkwardly takes in that information. This is the point where Torment gets a wake up call and quickly leaves the scene.

You see, every other companion Torment came forward with about his disturbed obsession has more or less told him "oh it's fine, as long as it's directed to our foes, we don't care :)." Then there's fucking Astarion who just outright encourages it from time to time. But overall, the Party has been lax about Torments condition, which says a lot about how disturbed everyone else is due to their own circumstances. To have someone deadass go "homie...What the fuck" after being told that he likes blood and guts made Torment feel like that ice cold water was poured on him.

Torment is reminded that normal people don't excuse those type of behaviors and that there's something deeply wrong with him.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #bg3: the dark urge #the dark urge #the dark urge: torment

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macdennissurvivor · 2 years

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I just rewatched season 15 tonight with my best friend who hadn’t seen it yet. He isn’t in the fandom and isn’t one for shipping, which makes him a non biased opinion for me. When we finished that last episode he said something interesting. He said they seem to setting up something for your guys (Mac and Dennis) he thinks Mac letting go of his focus with identity and the Catholic Church, the comment from Dee about falling in love means Mac will get a boyfriend next season.

He said Dennis is a complete mess, he so full of bullshit about himself, his life, other people and even reality (still talking to the castle after being discharged from the hospital ) that he’s not in the same place as the others. Hence the ending shot. He thinks Mac getting a boyfriend is gonna take Dennis on a journey. He thinks next season will end with Dennis realising he has feelings for Mac.

I was so happy when he said this. I asked if as a straight, casual viewer if this would bother him. (Straight men are very odd so I had to ask) he said no way. They have always been boardline with their friendship. It would almost be disappointing if they didn’t hook up because the fallout would be hilarious. He said they are like the older guys that claim to be flatmates but you know is code for life partners

that's awesome!! i've seen plenty of people on reddit who despise any form of macdennis or just gay content on the show in general, especially in regards to dennis, so to hear that a straight, casual viewer would be almost disappointed if they never did anything with that makes me hopeful that the majority of the audience would hopefully feel the same, or at least not openly hate on it.

now, moving onto what he thinks for future seasons: i totally agree! i always go back and forth between whether mac and dennis will ever be addressed in the show or not, but, if we're just looking at the writing and betting on that, it one hundred percent makes sense. (again, i don't know what the hell rcg will do with it or if they have any plans at all with mac and dennis BUT, just with what we've been given, especially the last few seasons, it's insane.)

there were big episodes from season 11 to season 13 leading up to the finale with mac finds his pride, where mac finally confronts his sexuality and being proud. season 14 is a weird season, in which we deal with a ton mac versus dennis conflict. like a Lot. to the point where all the dudebros on reddit were saying how there was way too much and they need to do something with it already or move on. and then season 15 highlights mac's identity problems again, and how he's learning to let them go, and charlie got to deal with his father storyline and frank learned to accept charlie as his son. (dee's was ambiguous and is tied in with her acting thing i'm sure, but kind of dropped off in the middle of the season.)

dennis's is going to be interesting because you're right, he's living in denial of almost every aspect of his life and he lives that denial as truth and has a hard time accepting it as any other way. he didn't get vaccinated because he thinks his body is perfect and he could get rid of sickness at will, as we've learned in the gang gets quarantined, he didn't even believe he had covid up until he was in the hospital and he could no longer deny it. the whole conversation they had in the bar about how mac should just "meet a guy, fall in love, and shut the hell up about it" sticks out so much because they didn't end up doing anthing with it this season, because this season was about charlie and his found family. and that end scene where dennis is the only one not in the group with the others is so glaring. i really hope season 16 is what your friend thinks, because mac getting a boyfriend and dennis addressing his delusions about life are both things they hinted toward heavily this season, and if they get addressed together, then that would be amazing.

#iasip #macdennis #no season 16 is the wave cmon #macdennis nation hear me roar #im not even kidding from a writing standpoint #it wouldnt make sense otherwise #idc what reddit dudebros say mac and dennis are destined to bang at one point or another

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headgehug · 2 years

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dear headgehug the gang hits the slopes is very divisive and i would like to know what your opinions are

of course i have opinions. thank you for asking. and so polite too.

below the cut cause i got carried away. jesus fucking christ. sunny meta posters watch your backs. i can do paragraphs too. <3

slopes is a fantastic episode. sunny doesn't take the gang out of the bar often and so when they do it usually creates a very fun, upbeat one off episode, such as water park, the big game episode, jersey shore, etc. it's a big deal! this episode does not fall flat in terms of a little gang outting. are you kidding me?? an 80s sports movie parody? incredible. they pulled it off super well. all of the ways they make fun of it with the "i don't care. we're only here two days." and the announcer stuff and the ski dude being pathetic and disappointing. hilarious. if you disagree with me on this point consider that fast times at ridgemont high was my favorite movie for several months. spicolli charlie with a bagel in your pants come back to me.

okay. this episode has some of the funniest lines that never fail to crack me up. "his ankles are broken for sure" "oh they're surely broken!". classic. pathetic dennis. creepy dennis? tryhard dennis? where the hell did he get a whole ski crew dennis. dennis agreeing with charlie (iirc) about the candy mountain miniature.

"i fracked the mountain" as a frankgirl i absolutely love this episode. this is peak frank. causing mischief for a profit. destroying the environment. love it. always gets me.

here's something. i like how disgusted the gang is with the lame guy at the end. i'm sorry i forgot his name. and i'm lazy. you know the guy. it shows how they are all horrible people but they Do have limits. albeit limits that.. should have showed up a little earlier. perhaps that is out of character for them. i disagree. eh. it's interesting to have the dude off the rails not be in the gang for once. maybe that's what people dislike about the episode?

love the way they make fun of the announcer stuff. and charlie being the straight man about it. and then going uh nvm bro! when it starts to work for him. feels pretty classic sunny a la we're a gay bar now! but while also feeling like not another teen movie. or whatever that parody was. (great movie. btw).

alright. let's talk about the elephant in the room. charlie sex scene. listen. i'm tired of pretending this ruins the episode for me (i'm jk i don't think i've ever pretended that). i'm not only a charlie woobifier but also a charlie sexualizer and it's hot. i do think he would do the :D face the whole time. that does not ruin it for me at all. the scene is gratuitous and gauche and excessive and so so stupid and excessive and it makes me blush and cringe and yet... damn baby...

remember early in the podcast when they were talking about like, if you break your leg filming you better fucking continue filming because you broke your goddamn leg for that. well. i'm deeply disappointed of course if that scene was filmed outside of the actors' comfort zones. and i don't think they should necessarily do something like that again. but, they did it, and it's in an episode, so... you know. let's leave it in. anyways all things considered? the saxophone part is very hot. i think it could have been very tasteful to skip all the fucking and just cut to the sax part. it's the best part of the whole thing by far ///>w<\\\

not to mention i think a charlie romance/fling plot is fun. idk. i mean there's the argument that he Wouldn't Do That and that's absolutely fair, but also, this is kind of an au, i don't think any of them can actually ski in the show, it's just for funsies. charlie getting the hot model while dennis gets his ankles broken is hilarious. the hot tub scene is amazing. charlie climbing into the tub fully dressed is very hot. i think charlie is enough of a jerk that if a hot lady flung herself at him and he was frustrated anyways he would be pretty down. sorry for being a horndog charlie truther. i genuinely love all other opinions and takes though. none of my headcanons are really serious. i'm playing both sides etc.

anyways listen. i think slopes is a good episode. if it wasn't for the sexy part this would be the sort of episode i'd show ppl new to sunny cause it's hilarious and it looks pretty good and its lighthearted. ohh boo hoo it's not plot relevant fuck off. if every episode was dennis' double life or mfhp this show would have been cancelled a decade ago. i do not watch this show for plot. i watch it cause it's funny. any cool plot is just a bonus. slopes was good.

#asks #iasip #the gang hits the slopes #anyone else have a bit of a pavlovian response to saxophones now. i like to listen to pinkfl*yd wish u were here part 5 and think about #charlie playing it for me. after. ykw. :) heehee

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lesbianfreyja · 5 years

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Is it weird that dee being "normal" is different that the rest of the gang acting normal? Like dennis being nice feels so weird but good, charlie being the straight man is just gold because usually he is the least functional one, mac being the straight man is so unusual that I enjoy it a lot when it happens, and frank is never fucking normal that I don't even know how that looks like. But I think I enjoy dee when she is being crazy and dumb. Idk maybe because she was "normal" in s1

ia, i think when dee acts “normal” it reminds me of s1 or...idk, not that it falls easily back into the “girl in the group has to be level headed and boring” trope (not since kait pegged feminism into rob in ‘06) or even that im worried that it will, but its just like. we rarely get to see women go apeshit on tv so i just prefer her when shes crazy; with men, we’re used to all their flavors, so them being “normal” can be an interesting layer to their character. with women, even when dee’s “normal” is still insane compared to the rest of society, thats the status quo for female characters....i’ve had a taste of feral women and now i’m greedy for it

#dee reynolds #iasip #anon #ask

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

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1/8/20

VOLUME FOUR, PART TWO~!

WHO ELSE IS WRITING IT?! ROCCO NORTH, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER ONE

I CHANGED MY MIND HE DOESN'T GET KIDNAPPED lmao

After their work in protecting the house, the family went to bed. Well, except for Aaron, who watched Damon sleep just in case he died or anything.

The next morning, they woke up peacefully, to the sound of–

EXPLOOOSIIOOONNSSS!!!

Well, SHIT !!! Aaron, passed out from tiredness was still sleeping on the floor, though. “Aaron!! Wake the hell up, there's bombs!!” Damon shouted, repeatedly slapping Aaron's face. “Huh…?” Damon gave up and dragged his dad across the bedroom floor. “Hey, hey, I can walk, dude,” Aaron assured, slowly standing up.

A loud boom echoed throughout the house, alerting them even more. Although, it didn't seem like it came from an explosive, but rather, an impact. Their first thoughts were that NULL was using a battering ram on their front door.

The family assembled in the basement, equipped with weapons and protection. “So, what the hell's goin’ on now?” Gabriel asked. “Man, I thought you were gonna explain it or something.” Damon sighed as he looked at the others. “Dennis?” “I literally was friggin’ shaving when I heard the sounds?” he uselessly explained. “I was performing satanic rituals for the plants.” Lan confessed. “Okay, dad, but seriously, where are these guys?” Aaron grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

CRASH!

A hole formed in the stone basement ceiling as it came crashing down, sunlight shining into the area. A small woman whose grey hair covered her whole body to her knees swiftly emerged from the rubble, dusting herself off and hopping back outside.

“Who. Who was that.” Gabriel asked. “Do we have banshees here?” Lan added. “To my knowledge, the only ghosts related to Irish folklore in this house are the deer leg ladies and the lady who keeps using the washing machine to wash medieval armor.” Aaron explained. “Other than that, nada,”

The family halted their conversation as they heard the sound of multiple people screaming for their lives. “Okay, well, what's that?” Gabriel asked. “I– Dad, I don't even know where the rubble lady came from!” Aaron whined, the screaming still in the background.

ace: “die, bitches!”

“Yeah, pretty sure that's not NULL,” Lan pointed out. “Their agents get shot on sight after using foul language.” He revealed. “Really?” Damon asked, thinking about how bad of an agent he would be if he was recruited. “No, I just made that up.” Lan confessed, smirking. “Why…” Gabriel questioned, looking at him with a disappointed face. “Why not?”

nova: “OOH, A STUN GUN, OH NO!”

“HOWEVER WILL WE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?!”

“HELP~!”

The four paused, noticing a third person in the fight. “Rude.” Damon commented at the girl's behavior.

sarah: “guys i accidentally fricked up the floor”

“do we have to pay insurance or whatever”

“also whats insurance”

ace: “it's a scam designed for you to die.”

Andre: “What Ace said. Also, pretty sure we don't have to do anything, since this place is a ghost town, anyways.”

jake: “mhm also theres probably horses or w/ever so watch out for that lol”

orc: “I SAW A PILE OF FROGS EARLIER”

j: “or that sometimes yknow”

The family peeked their heads out from inside, eavesdropping on the conversation.

o: “YEA BUT THE THING IS”

“I DONT KNOW HOW TO HOLD FROGS”

sar: “you have to like. gently carry those gentlemen around. palm at the side, fingers supporting their body and your thumb keeps them in place, orc, my friend,”

a: “ALSO SPRAY THE BITCHES!”

s: “yea spray them they like it it's fun n stuff”

andre: “Where. Where's the little froggies.”

j: “idk im scared”

a: “coward”

o: “ALSO SCARED OF FROGS”

“THEY ARE METAPHORICALLY CHILDREN”

s: “explain”

o: “SMALL AND CAN DIE EASILY ALSO WEIRDLY SLIMY AND SOFT”

andre: “Babies aren't slimy tho…”

o: “FLORIDA”

an: “oh ok”

“NULL doesn't usually talk about frogs.” Dennis pointed out. “They don't.” Damon agreed. “Also, they don't have members that tall. Or short.” Aaron commented. “Rebel gang?” Lan suggested. Gabriel squinted his eyes, staring at the group. “Last time I checked, undercover NULL agents, even if they exist, don't hide that kind of hair under their helmets. That kid next to the banshee there definitely does not have helmet hair, I mean, the volume and all…”

“hmm? i think those are peeeoopleeee” “guyss” The stylish hair kid pointed out. “cuz i dont think horses look like that!!!!!!!” they exclaimed, strutting towards the basement. “im scared” “help” “yall” “yall means all” they continued, facing their group. “Well, damn, Ace, if it's a horse, give it a carrot or something.” another voice said nonchalantly.

“meanie” “ill kill u” Ace threatened threateningly. “I CAN GO WITH YOU IF YOU WANT!!” A voice offered politely. “thanks nova!!!!!!! andre u can choke” Ace thanked, proceeding with Nova to the basement, the family anxiously awaiting them.

Ace had a normal, skinny, 5'7"-ish body, and they had a sharp jaw and small eyes. Their hair was brightly colored, with brown roots turning into an orange and then into a red, with yellow tips. They were wearing a gray vest above a loose black sleeveless shirt. Also jeans and shoes. Ace is not naked or something.

Nova, on the other hand, towered over Ace. She wore a trucker hat that pushed down her thick hair enough to cover her eyes, and it was tied into two big puffs. Her hair was dyed different shades of green in small spots, making it look like a small, bright shrub sitting on her head. She wore a denim jacket with lots of enamel pins stuck to it. Beneath that was a grey t-shirt, and below that were ripped jeans and UGG boots… somehow, in the amalgamated world.

“Hi! We're the Russell family!” Aaron welcomed, nearly giving them heart attacks by LOON∆ i should listem to that again. “What the fuck?!” Andre remarked, leading the rest into the basement. He was wearing a silky-looking black button-up shirt with a red tie with dress shoes, and his dreadlocks were neatly tied back. He certainly wore a fancy look for raiding NULL bases.

“Yeah, I'm Aaron, this is my dad Gabriel, my dad Lan, my husband Dennis, and my son, (no matter what,) Damon. We have 36 cats and countless ghosts here. Please proceed with caution, most of these babies are strictly indoors-only!”

The group stared at them in shock, unable to believe anything Aaron just said. “How… do you get… 36 cats…” Andre asked. “We used to have a pet shop. It fell down, though, so that's that.” Dennis answered casually. “like. how. like fell down into space” A blue-haired man asked, earning him Damon's full attention.

“Yeah, into space.” Gabriel said. “Just straight down.” Lan elaborated, “No stops or anything, just ZOOP!” “Yeah, that's why we moved into a haunted mansion.” Aaron added. “So, what group are you guys in?” he asked, making a head shoot up in surprise from one of them.

He had gelled blue hair parted in the middle, and his right eye seemed like it had something inserted in it. He wore a dark blue denim jacket with ripped off sleeves and very short, tight jorts. He also had black wristbands, indicating a past emo phase. Or one that's still ongoing, as made obvious by his combat boots.

“oh its kinda indie u guys. u guys probably dont know it :,(” The blue-haired man said sadly, pouting. “We're called the…” Andre began. “C'mon, Jakey, say it.” “no its dumb” he grumbled. “skullsmashers. it's because we smash people's skulls. metaphorically.” Ace explained, asking Jake for confirmation. “right, 8-ball?”

“we really dont......” Jakey/8-Ball said sadly. “Oh, you named us this, Jakey, honey,” Andre contested. “So why can't we smash people's skulls? Like, clearly, I can take the emotional trauma or whatever, as long as it's NULL, or hell, maybe even some dipshit, I can do that.” he added softly.

“Ah, pretty sure they're not NULL,” Lan said, smiling. “So, did you kill them all of them or what?” he asked as he raised his weapon, a mace he was somehow managing to hold with ease. Like. A mace with spikes. Ace nervously played with their hair, sporting a terrified face. “what!?” they exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. “We can definitely take care of them. How do you think this place is officially a ghost town?” Gabriel asked. “Setting up traps and making friends with the local ghosts go a long way, y'know,”

“There's fucking ghosts?!” Andre exclaimed, pulling out daggers from under his arms. “Yeah, but they're nice, so it's okay.” Damon explained with not a trace of fear in his eyes, making Andre slowly put the daggers back in. “Oh, by the way, if you guys see an arm there, could you get it for me?” he requested politely, “And honestly, I'd like to make a pun with lending hands, but I can't seem to put my finger on which one I'd make.” He added, raising his bandaged stump.

“Oh, Jake, don't–” Andre warned before Jake fainted instantly from seeing the bloody bandages on Damon's wound. “I'm sorry,” he apologized. The fainting had sent Aaron quickly went to the operating room, just now realising that he hasn't changed the bandages yet. “uh lemme go check if theres any” the small woman said, scuttling away. “Thanks,” Damon said before following Aaron.

Dennis, Lan, and Gabriel stood awkwardly in front of The Skullsmashers, not knowing what to do. “So, uh, whaddya do?” Dennis asked, folding his hands together. “gamign” Ace quickly responded. “Well, we each tend to go our own ways, but occasionally we team up to raid NULL bases and stuff.” Andre explained, ignoring Ace's statement. “What about you guys?”

“Ah, so I like gardening, and also do some baking from time to time, and Gabriel here used to be a traveling psychic, but now he tends to help me with errands and chores and sometimes we communicate with the ghosts here. Dennis and Aaron used to run a pet shop near here, but now Dennis does some farming, and Aaron spends his spare time caring for our pets.” Lan explained.

“And I do the groceries! And all the other stuff that involves going outside,” Damon intervened, coming back with an anxious, squeaky-clean Aaron. “Which is why my arm got cut off.” he revealed, sitting down on the wooden floor. “ok im back did i miss anything :'//” Jake asked, waking up from his faint earlier. “… we'll catch up later.” Andre replied.

“arm!!!” The banshee yelled out excitedly, waving a cooler back and forth. “Great! Just toss it down,” Aaron said happily, reaching his arms out. Seeing this, Damon ran to the operating room. “Last one's a rotten egg!” he shouted, snickering. “Well, while they work on that, do you guys maybe wanna come in and grab a snack?” Gabriel suggested politely, eager to learn more about the group. “yea sure!! thanks!!” said Jake, who was joyfully running to the front door.

A large figure stood patiently outside the door, belonging with the Skullsmashers. It seemed like a gentle giant, tapping its index fingers together. It was definitely from another world. It had greenish grey skin, and its head was blocky and looked like it was separate from his large jaw that had two moles on it. Its eyes were big and white, and above them were thick eyebrows. And it was wearing what seemed to be a large, furry, ruff reaching his knees that were covered by jorts. Its shoulders were completely covered with a large spiky red boulder on each one. The creature was ten feet tall, and was very strong.

At last, the large doors opened with a creak, the sunlight from outside shining brightly into the house. It was the first time in years that the front doors were opened, and it was for good; they had stayed in there for too long.

CHAPTER TWO

A PROPER INTRODUCTION

The family and the group were sitting in the dining hall, awaiting the arrival of Aaron and Damon. A shit ton of homemade potato chips were strewn across a long plate in the middle as the main course. Lan had prepared a variety of dipping sauces and some napkins. They sat in silence.

“I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how… are you guys still alive?” Andre asked cautiously, starting a conversation. Gabriel dipped a chip in cheese sauce, then thought of a simple answer: “We really just hide and plant stuff. Also, we were really lucky.”

Nova played around with a fork, debating whether these people were real or not. Yes, NULL couldn't possibly use their precious budget to make intricately designed haunted houses with personal touches and residents whose personalities were very unique, as well as their relationship with each other, but, hell, maybe they can.

NULL always had a way to worm themselves everywhere, down to the place she stayed in, the people she knows, and, well, really, everywhere. Even if this family was what they presented themselves as, NULL could do lots of things to not only dishevel Nova and the group she was in, as well as this family, they can manipulate both of them to destroy each other. After all, that's the kind of thing they do– get someone else to do their dirty work.

Nova made up her mind, opting to ask them directly. “I also really don't mean to be rude, but given the large amount of undercover NULL agents and all the different ways they come as, I just have to ask… and this is a very dumb, and useless question, but are you guys in any way… involved with NULL?”

Dennis smiled lightly, understanding that this group was in the same deliberation as they were. “To be honest, we were gonna ask you that too at some point, but I personally don't think NULL agents would look this…” “well, they wouldn't, like… have wrists this limp.”

The room was silent for a while, before erupting with laughter. “You– you fuckin’ thought we weren't NULL because–” Andre struggled, wheezing. “No NULL agent would dress like that, Andre,” Gabriel pointed out, snickering. “Yeah, you think those idiots can achieve this level of interior design?!” Lan added, gesturing wildly towards every piece of furniture in the hall.

“… But really, to answer your question there, yeah, we are technically involved with NULL,” Dennis said, completely changing the atmosphere of the room. “We're classified as Class-4 criminals for, um, giving some of their agents here some mild inconveniences.” he added in a serious tone. “And by mild inconveniences, I mean a few cases of attempted murders, robberies, hauntings, and other stuff like that.” The group sighed a breath of relief, knowing they were both on the same page.

“I have to say, 45 cases of attempted murder and two cases of successful murder does sort of count as a bit more than a mild inconvenience, though, Dennis,” Lan said jokingly. “Oh, and remember when someone planted poison ivy that somehow mysteriously completely wrapped around the whole base they had here, down to the basement?” he added, grinning. “Okay, well let's not compare our crimes here, dad,” Dennis teased. “Everybody knows mine was the best attack yet when I trapped them inside the base by encasing it with raw eggs! somehow” he added, cackling.

The two families had a great time together, laughing and talking about their experiences in the new lives they lived caused by the amalgamation. Meanwhile, Aaron was carefully reattaching an arm to an unconscious Damon. After some hard work, he succeeded, and did his best to celebrate in the operating room.

However, at this point, he became too tired to do so, considering the fact that he alone performed an entire surgery. Still, it was a miracle for both of them. He waited for Damon to wake up and see the finished product, but he ended up passing out while making a celebratory coffee.

The two slept well and endlessly. The rest of the family, however, were faced with a tough decision to make. Dennis, Gabriel, and Lan had the same question echo in their minds:

“Would you like to consider joining us, The Skullsmashers?”

It was a question Andre always asked to those who he saw potential in, no matter who– or whom, no idea. They could be two friends living in a dilapidated house with rats and mice, or three odd creatures in a grocery store, or even some nervous teenager who suddenly asked him to kill someone in the middle of his New Year's Eve party.

It's not that he simply sees something out of the ordinary happen and immediately hands out flyers, but it's that Andre has been gifted with an eye for this type of thing– take, for example, the situation at hand.

Andre raids a NULL base with his friends. The fight continues into the abandoned city the base was in. His friend lands into a basement of a house. Sarah, the friend, points out that there are people living in said house. Said people are clearly weird.

Resident asks for his arm back. Very weird. Still little to no potential, except maybe for interior design. Residents invite them for dinner. Residents have knives and shit.

Potential spotted. nah jk lemme do this again lol

[TAKE TWO]

Okay, okay. Andre doesn't just see people doing weird shit and immediately hires them, contract and all, but instead he observes them further.

If he sees someone hurling flaming batons into the sky, that person does have potential, yes, definitely, but what kind? This style of combat could definitely be a possibility in their attacks, given the practicality and the ostentatiousness of it.

However, it's an art one could hardly practice. The perils one could face are far too much for such a display. But, even though it's inconvenient, it's still very useful. If there was a good amount of accelerant on the baton, an enemy could not only receive a strong blow, but the added accelerant will most likely set them on fire too, rendering them not only useless in further combat (unless they're a very determined individual) but also a potential threat to anyone near them.

And the fact that a person is employed as the weapon is more convenient than, say, a large flaming baton-throwing machine, which would be difficult to program and to bring to an attack.

However, Andre also has to consider the person (itself? themselves? idk man) in an approach. Maybe they're NULL, or maybe even just someone who wants to throw flaming stuff into the air with no deeper meaning or intent. Maybe this person is unsuitable for combat; maybe this person is an enemy or a rival.

The approach is like a job interview– ask them about their experience in the field, if they have any other [good points?? is good points the word], if they're okay with joining the group– but sadly, he lives in a world where anything wildly good or wildly bad can happen, and it makes the whole process a whole lot more harder.

So, maybe these people inviting them over for a meal might give them a new addition or two. Or, sadly, remove some members.

Will the Russell family join The Skullsmashers? The decision has to be made any second now.

• end •

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