#because there’s some neat mini-plotlines here

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Just beat Fire Emblem Blazing Blade kinda Deathless (after only playing FEH and Fates before)

LOBSTER LORD IS OUT GREAT LORD IS IN HECTOR MY MAN MY GUY MY MVP

Like 40 people worked on this game. Most things were made by 2 people max. The translator list is longer than any of the other categories. Wth

Main Trio, your honor I love them. It is VERY rare for me to care about main characters of a game but these guys man

Which is also very evil because I know this game is a prequel to Blazing Blade and looking at the versions of Hector I have in FEH I‘m like 95% sure this man kicked the bucket. Rip King

Given that the amount of main character dads I’ve seen survive till the end so far is a total of zero, and looking at the versions of Elliwood I have in FEH I‘m like 60% sure he’s also gonna kick the bucket. Rip King

Elliwood Hector Support B is the funniest thing in this entire game. Support A is the most evil thing in this entire game if those 95% are right ;-;

Meanwhile Lyn casually quit her job dumped it on Hector and went back to live in the plains. Good for her tbh, Long Live the Queen

I do love how Lyn and Hector went from not liking each other to being basically gremlins around each other. Character development lol

The support system is kinda whack ngl, it takes 80 points per level and even the closest characters only grow 3 each turn. I did most chapters in around 10-15 rounds, had to grind for 70 turns in a chapter just to get any supports

Eliwood‘s other stats might suck but at least his rizz is maxed out it seems

The romance really ain’t hitting it if you already got that A support bromance and B support to complete the Main Gang Trio

Hey Rebecca doesn’t look like she wants to devour my soul anymore! Nice

Where did the horse come from. Whose horse did the Heaven Seal steal. Is the horse magic. What

Something about noted redhead Eliwood‘s ancestor having Marth-blue hair just feels very very wrong

I don’t even go here but. Old men Yaoi. Perhaps Ancient men yaoi, even

Whenever a character tells you that you should let them talk to someone and maybe they’ll stop to fight, it works. Since the beginning of the game, and even with characters who wanted to see you dead chapters before. And then it doesn’t.

I had to load a save state because Nino died that very same move.

Ouch. Very good scene for character showing. But ouch.

When you defeat the final chapter main enemies they gain color back and smile before closing their eyes and despawning. Stoooop T-T

I didn’t take Nino into that battle because wow she’s underleveled but. I bet there would’ve been extra dialogue if she kills a certain 2 guys. Or there should’ve been if there isn’t.

How those particular enemies were made + the permanent death mechanic = some PRIME source for angst. Bonus points if it’s one of the characters who get special reactions from other folks when they die, like Rath or Markus

Are we sure FEH Rebecca isn’t actually a Morph of the original person out for Summoner‘s quintessence. It would explain her eyes

You can’t just give pirate guy a quiet scene promising his captain to come back save only to then say in the after credits he probably died protecting him and no way to get the body. What the heck Intelligent systems

They’re OLD oh wow that color looks really bad on Eliwood. I can see why they slapped Roy’s palette on him. Though now it kinda reads like Eliwood‘s got his main character rights revoked lmao

BABY ROY. PRECIOUS BEAN GOT EVEN PRECIOUSER

SCREW YOU ZEPHIEL HECTOR KILLED LIKE 15 PEOPLE TO SAVE YOUR SORRY BUTT AND THIS IS (with a 95% likelihood) THE THANKS ;-;

Hector ily but I am NOT replaying 17 chapters that I all already played with you just because chapter 11 is apparently unique

And once again the titular item is barely present for a single chapter or two in this entire game only to justify said title lmao

Why does this thing keep changing locations anyways. And it’s always near the places where apocalypses involving dragons happen. Y’all maybe the Fire Emblem is cursed

Tldr good game very fun

#fire emblem blazing blade #Fire emblem #not mentioned: I like most characters a decent amount #just didn’t have much to say #didn’t manage to get any of Ravens supports to A which is a shame #because there’s some neat mini-plotlines here #Eliwood going ^Markus? MARKUS!!?^ the one time the old man actually died on me really hurt ngl #before that Berserked Lyn killed Rath once but that was just a ^You ok?^ ^….^ #implications had more impact than the scene itself (or #or maybe the tone didn’t go though #anyways I‘m now low key curious how many characters have special dialogue like that

[dailycass-cain]

Cassandra Cain Reading Guide Part 3: The Search for a Arc

Part III of this reading guide for Cassandra is more what you say is "guidelines" than completed story arcs since well, "bumps" occurred aka DC Comics gonna be DC Comics.

Here you’ll find stories involving Cass that DC threw to wall to see what stuck, along with random appearances (outside and in canon).  

Part I reading guide you can find here.

Part II reading guide (Modern) you can find here.

Part IV reading guide (Alternate versions) you can find here.

Part V reading guide (PAIN) you can find here.

Batgirl Vol. 2 #1-6 (aka Redemption Road)

-  The title is figuratively and literally not only meant for Cass but the author of the series itself. Built on the back of some really bad stories involving the character it's another look into the character's ultimate coda.

Keep in mind when reading the series, that that the context isn't just of the characters, but the writer calling out various other Batman/Bat-Family writers at that time for their ignorance with Cass.

It's the only way to fully understand the out-of-character moments (namely Nightwing). It's probably the best "sendoff" the character could get. Even with the problems that are cast all over it.

The series is problematic (David Cain being a complete monster, 0 payback for the stuff Deathstroke did to Cass because during this era of DC Comics Slade could get away with anything), but has gotten better with age and knowing  these strains over the story.

Batman & the Outsiders Vol. 1 #3-14

- Post-Batgirl #73, and the first story since Cass turned heel (aka EVIL). It does feature some gratuitous adult themes involving her in #4. However, #5-onward does treat the character decently. 

Green Arrow and Cass work out some grievances over her brief villain career (along with the ramifications of the Black Canary mini that occurred prior to this series with the League of Assassins targeting Sin, Dinah’s adopted daughter to fill the void of Cass exiting the group), and we get the sprinkles of Cass wanting to connect with Katana, and the latter's maternal instincts kick-in knowing this girl needs some love. The thing is though none of these plotlines go anywhere.

The writer of the comic, Chuck Dixon, is gone by #10, and basically, a fill-in writer, Frank Tieri has to break-up this team abruptly in #12. Making this comic a solo featuring Cass in #13-14. These specific issues deal with the fallout to Batgirl Vol. 2 #1-6, but it does have a neat nugget..

Basically, Cassandra creates an organization (the Network) that would eventually become Batman Inc. The Network is featured in Battle for the Cowl, but there's only one important bit to read of that.

Battle for the Cowl: The Network #1 

- is the last full canon appearance of Cassandra as Batgirl (until Batman: Joker War Zone #1 in 2020). Her, Oracle, Huntress, and others take on Hugo Strange in the issue.

The series plays up this angle as Cass is given the more spotlight most and is given one more moment to shine. 

Batgirl Vol. 3 #1, 3 

- Cassandra abandons the Batgirl identity-- for reasons that are retconned later in Return of Bruce Wayne: Batgirl #1 (2010).  Let's just say, DC being DC at this point.

If you read my "tragedy of Cass" post then you know the various goings on this period. She also appears in a one panel flashback in Batgirl Vol. 3 #6.

Red Robin #14, 17

- Cassandra is teased in Red Robin #14 with Tim looking for her before a full-on return in #17. These issues continue the strong connection Tim/Cass have built all the way back in “Fresh Blood” x-over between their former comics. There is a further mention of the two corresponding between one another in Birds of Prey Vol. 2, but it’s a mention only to explain why Cass will be out of the loop that Oracle is still operational (Secret Society was targeting Barbara. So Babs “died” to keep herself safe).

Black Bat Era

Batman Inc Vol. 1 #6 (first appearance)

Red Robin #25

Batman: Gates of Gotham #1-5

- Cassandra’s tenure in her new identity of Black Bat, “the Batman of Hong Kong”. An older more mature Cass as showcases her knowledgable outlook helping Tim and Dick throughout her all too brief role. 

Gates of Gotham is the true standout story here among the three stories. It has all of Bruce’s angelic kids (at that time: Dick, Tim, Damian, and Cass. Jason was being a bad boy at the time, and showing up in an arc in the Batman & Robin also going on at the same time) all teaming up to unravel a mystery involving the creation of Gotham City. 

Originally meant to be a maxi-series starring Cass by writer Scott Snyder, co-writer Kyle Higgins and DC Editorial liked the Bat-Family angle more within it.

But well, any promise these issues had going for Cass- well DC gonna DC and right after #5 of Gates (LITERALLY THE WEEK AFTER), the entire line was relaunched into the New 52 with Cass/Steph being dumped to the wayside for a few years (see Part II of Rebirth reintroducing Cass and the Tragedy of Cass for the full story).

Solo #10 

- written/drawn by Cass co-creator Damion Scott. Not surprisingly, Cass shows up in two tales of the comic. One of her mentoring Steph during her time as Robin, and the other Tim/her as Batman/The Bat.

You might be taken aback by the later story as Scott tries a new style to his art in this story. Likewise, you may be off put that Scott pairs the two together as husband/wife in the story.

Look, the best way to talk about this relationship was that in the late 2004 to 2007s many DC creative (both writers and artists) shipped these two together. Why you have the extremely awkwardness of her heel character being fully attracted to Tim.     

Tiny Cass

Tiny Titans #33, 39, 45-46

- The myth. The legend. The force of nature. The tiger force. There is nothing that can prepare you for Tiny Cass. A variant of Cass who creates all sorts of shenanigans. 

She is truly is the nickname of ONE WHO IS ALL. 

Future’s End Batgirl #1

Red Robin #19

- Two one-shot appearances. Cass’s first appearance in over three years occurs in Gail Simone’s swan song to her New 52 Batgirl run. Cass appears with Steph and a new Batgirl Tiffany Fox as Barbara Gordon mentors the trio known as the League of Batgirls!

Red Robin #19 has a one panel Cass cameo, Tim and friends are in the Unternet (a dark internet used by DC’s supervillain community) and to combat the digital villains, Tim imagines "backup". Said backup being a Justice League of next-generation heroes with Cass as Batman. It's one panel, but the aww yeaaaah factor alone is worth it.

-Random Guest Spots-

Batman: The Brave & the Bold #13

-  is an all-Robin spotlight issue. It's the ending which might bring a smile to some. Okay, the entire issue was glorious, but that ending of all the Batgirls together. I still want an all-Batgirls issue DC. GIMME!

Young Justice #21 

Harley Quinn #10-11

 Supergirl V. 4 #63

-  YJ #21, Cass is the B-team sent in to save the A-team. Features Cass meeting Bette Kane (the OG Batgirl) and her bullying Klarion the Witch-Boy. 

- Harley Quinn #10-11 features Cass, Tim, Dick, and Babs dealing with Harley running around Gotham dressed as Batgirl (Barbara). Hijinks ensue as the Bat-Family has to clean up the mess of Harley’s time as Batgirl.

- Only “heroic” meeting between Cass and a Supergirl (Linda Danvers). Takes place during the “Last Laugh” event. 

Robin #119

Batman: Gotham Knights #42, 45-49

#cassandra cain #dc comics #reading guide

[runimanio]

2024 Game Clear #4 Mega Man X: Command Mission

This is an interesting one, a tradition turn based Mega Man X RPG that has much to love, but also leaves me wanting in a lot of way. Perhaps because this is the final X series game I needed to play it also left me thinking about the storytelling & characterization of the X series so this will probably be a long one

The story here is that a maverick named Epsilon has formed a army aptly named the Rebellion Army to occupy Giga City and form a reploid supremist state and now the Maverick Hunters must intervene! If your familiar with the X series this will sound extremely in line with the general plotline the action games tended to have & it's clear that the developers really wanted to translate as much stuff and mechanics from those games into a RPG format (there's even a boss rush teleport room at the end!)

That thinking creates a pretty neat battle system but being so loyal to the plot structure of the main series X really does the story of a RPG & the new charters a disservice, you could very easily cut this 20 hour game into a standard X platformer & lose very little of the actual meat.

X and Zero are fully in their deadly serious mode that they've been in in for the late series X games, gone are Zero's days of confidently giving a thumbs up we're full broody edge lord & X is in cop mode at all time which is a shame since this could've been a great way to really explore these two in more depths then normally allowed.

I liked the new characters but they don't really get anything to do here, after their recruitment there character arc is pretty much done & i'm pretty sure Spider aside, the other 3 maybe talked to Zero & Axel maybe once throughout the entire game. I wish I could tell you anything about Marino or Cinnamon other then what written on the tin. Massimo is a brute struggling to live up to his mentor name, Marino is a thief who unexpectedly finds herself embroiled into the conflicted, Cinnamon is a living blacksmith forge i guess? And Spider is a bounty hunter who's later actions makes me question his early actions. They all have a lot of potential they're just unserved.

Let's move on to a lighter note for a bit, This battle system is pretty cool, it uses a turn system similar to the Digimon Story games (it's probably comes from something older but I'm blanking lol) where you can see the upcoming order of who moves first & even have your unit act multiple times before your enemy can under the right circumstances, two buttons can be equipped with special weapons that use Weapon Energy to fire and can be used before taking your action for the turn. Instead of healing items you have sub tanks you can collect and fill that you can pull from for healing.

Action Trigger are essentially limit breaks where you use all your weapon energy & play a little mini game for a big attack, its a little repetitive and i don't love doing a Mario Party style stick rotation for Cinnamon's heal trigger but it's fine & everyone has a hyper mode which is a temporary transformation that massively buffs the character or even in some cases change out their weapons and Action Triggers, X and Zero have secret unlockable Hyper modes that are super OP and fun to use.

It's a really fun and unique system & I do appreciate that I never really felt I need to grind but it can get pretty old when your binging through the game since enemy can feel pretty spongy and the encounter rate sometimes can a little aggressive where I'll get out of a battle and slightly adjust myself to get my barring again only to be thrown back into a battle immediately but sometimes i would go several rooms without any encounters so it probably varies.

And when you get lost the constant battles can be grating & getting lost can be easy as the entire game looks like this

All the stages feel like I'm exploring a bunker with almost entire game being made up of narrow hallways, even Giga City the city in the sky kinda just feels like another a bunker also slight tangent about the game's world it's funny that even in this RPG the X world is devoid onscreen humans, I don't know what Sigma and all the other Mavricks are complaining about, seems like the humans are doing a great job leaving reploids alone!

It probably sounds like I really didn't like the game but I did ultimately enjoy the game but I just see so much untapped potential in this game, these characters & this world, I can imagine a version of this game were Massimo has a longer character arc struggling with feeling like he's failing to honor the mantle, Maybe Marino learning to believe in the cause, More of Cinnamon learning what she wants to do beside just being a actual tool for people to use. My mind races with possibilities with this world & I only got a fraction of what I would've liked.

I truly wish it got a sequel because this is a very solid base to build on & really Mega Man has always been an iterative franchise but in hindsight of all the baggage the next generation would bring, the mega man recession of the late aughts, & Inafune gaining more power within Capcom & apparently hating the idea of a X RPG to begin with Command Mission was probably made at the last possible moment it could've been made.

Anyway here's some random thought to end off on

recontextualizing Axl's A Trans ability into summons is very cool

Everyone in the city getting new dialogue as the story progresses is neat

Cinnamon's design uses the red cross logo so this game is a violation of the Geneva Convention

I'm not really sure why they needed this to take place in 22XX causing it to have no place in the timeline due to the Zero games also taking place then other than maybe wanting to remove themselves from the earth is damaged after X5 continuity idk

This version of Ultimate Armor is crazy, X ain't playing around anymore no way Dr. Light signed off on this lol

After her chapter Marino never vocally speaks again for the rest of the game, she didn't deserve to be done like that.

Absolute Zero is very cool

Shout out to my friend Talion for gifting this to me for Christmas, thanks buddy!

#Runi's Gamelogs 2024 #mega man x command mission #megaman x #rockman #command mission #mega man x #mega man

[littlehollyleaf]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) 

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself 

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p 

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’ 

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine. 

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual  relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji* 

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio. 

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’ 

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

#about me #a true but boring story #well this was a fun nostalgia fest for me! #apologies to the rest of you.............

[misscrawfords]

I can’t stop thinking about that terrible movie, The Christmas Wedding Planner. It doesn’t deserve 1/10th of the mental energy I’m giving it and yet here we are.

The main problem is that just a few tweaks could have made it a decent film and that the things that were wrong with it were just so wrong. So I’m making two lists. The first is its greatest atrocities. The second is what I’d tweak to turn it into something watchable, even good.

The premise: Kelsey is a rookie wedding planner, about to get her big break with her rich cousin Emily’s wedding to the oh so charming, Todd. Then she bumps into Connor, Emily’s ex, a private investigator mysteriously charged with investigating Todd. He wants to recruit Kelsey to help him with his investigation. She wants him to piss off. Sparks fly while my suspension of disbelief remains firmly rooted to the ground.

This post will contain spoilers. I really wouldn’t bother caring. Buckle yourself in - we’re going for a very inane ride!

Problems

The leads have no chemistry at all. This is obviously a problem. Buying a romance and attraction between them was just impossible. Their first kiss was meant to be awkward but, my god, surely not THAT awkward! 

This lack of chemistry was added to a flat script that clearly was trying to present Kelsey and Connor as a sparring love-hate dynamic who grow to appreciate each other and eventually come to realise that their connection is really deep as they share the same values. But, uh, that may have been the intention but not the story that came across on the screen. Which was just two people who irritated each other suddenly and for no reason getting upset about how the other was behaving after knowing each other for about three days and then...

THEY GOT FLIPPING MARRIED. I mean. WHAT. They’ve kissed twice. They know basically nothing about each other. Half an hour previously she thought he was a villain. This isn’t romantic, this is INSANE. I give them till the end of the honeymoon.

She’s called Kelsey. Like, that’s not a name. It’s just a random word. (This is petty as hell, but still.)

Kelsey has a “tragic backstory” where her mum died and she’s narrating her life in text messages to her mum which are text message overlays of exposition in case the viewer is finding the plot too complex to follow. I have no idea why this exists. It goes nowhere.

A romantic comedy ends with Emily, described as the most perfectly lovely and sweet person, discovering at the altar that her almost-husband was cheating on her and got a maid pregnant and then dumping him. And then she watches her wedding planner get married to her ex-boyfriend who she barely knows. I don’t particularly care about Kelsey and Connor but I’m very, very concerned about Emily! Make your beta couple happy, you cowards!

Todd was cheating with the maid. Wow, what a radical secret. And then Emily just doesn’t even talk about it. She just accepts the wedding is off and wants to plan a girls trip away instead. She was going to MARRY this guy. Doesn’t she want to IDK hear his side of the story? Why so quick to believe the worst? I mean, wow, clearly she shouldn’t be marrying this guy if she doesn’t care, but she’s meant to be intelligent as well as beautiful!

So basically none of the characterisation makes sense. In that there basically isn’t any. Just plot points that apparently have to be hit. Like, Aunt Olivia is a bitchy Rich White Woman (tm) half the time and a caring, mother-figure the other half. I was getting whiplash keeping up with her 180 degree character changes.

Connor isn’t even vaguely attractive. Physically or emotionally. That’s kind of a problem in a romance film. (I mean, YMMV with the physical aspect but, eurgh really.) He’s as charismatic as a block of wood. She’s... eh. She’s a generic Hallmark movie protagonist.

The way these characters dress and look. It’s so... 90s? I don’t mean that exactly. I mean, everyone looks the same and it’s a kind of glossy Clueless vibe. The women are all in tailored mini dresses and with long waves of hair. The men wear slacks and a shirt and have a bit of stubble. They all live in massive mansions or cute apartments that are all spotlessly clean and neat. They literally look like Barbie dolls except even my dollhouse was more realistically lived in than any of these sets. It’s such a weird aesthetic. And it makes no sense for the demographic these people supposedly belong to.

Perfect, sweet Jane Bennet Emily has three caricatured bridesmaids who are horrible. Why? Why are bridesmaids always jealous, miserable bitches? WHERE ARE HER ACTUAL FRIENDS? Speaking of, who even has weddings like this? What is the deal? Who WANTS this kind of wedding? Who behaves like this about their wedding or their child’s wedding? I’m so confused. If this is some kind of fantasy, I wonder whose it is, because everything about it is horrible. Which brings me back to this all feeling very dated in its aesthetic and early 2000s obsession with skinny women getting carried away with designer weddings in romcoms written by men. IDEK. This is 2018 and we have Set It Up and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. This kind of film just doesn’t belong any more.

So that’s quite enough issues. Let’s try to solve a few and make this a better film.

Most of the problems could be solved by making the lead couple appealing. Cast different actors and write the script that they think they already have. If you can actually buy the narrative of two people who have more in common than they think growing closer from antagonists to partners, then the ridiculous ending where they decide to just get married could potentially work. POTENTIALLY. If they had more lingering looks that were genuinely hot, their awkward kiss melted into something real, their interactions sizzled with wit and suppressed passion then... yeah. Maybe then the spontaneous decision at the end would make you think, “Actually, yes, it’s mad but LOOK AT THOSE TWO CRAZY KIDS!”

Work on characterisation. So Kelsey’s deal is she’s concentrating on managing other people’s happiness instead of concentrating on her own because she can’t let go after her mother’s death. This is kind of heavy for a romcom. Let’s scrap the dead mother altogether. Make Emily her actual sister instead of the cousin who is like a sister and make Aunt Olivia her mum. Streamlines everything. This is better. So Emily is the perfect daughter who is beautiful and sweet and having the perfect wedding and Kelsey is the younger daughter who is determined to make her way in the world without the family money. This causes friction because she thinks her mum favours Emily and her determination leads her to believe that if she gets involved in a serious relationship which would please her mother then she is compromising her desire to be independent. Cue touching moment near the end when her mother admits she’s got it all wrong and she admires Kelsey’s entrepreneurial spirit and reveals that it’s possible to have a career AND a relationship. None of this is rocket science or even that interesting but I’m trying to make this a better Hallmark movie, not Citizen Kane.

Connor’s turn. Good grief, get a better actor for a start. And the entire plot here needs to change now. Because the PI bit is good but being hired by Aunt Olivia because Todd is cheating is just... so BORING. So before we can improve Connor we need to work on what he’s there to do.

Time to look at the actual plot. Wedding planner forced to work against her will with PI to investigate the wedding she’s planning is a genuinely cool concept. We have a bunch of tropes here: spies! we had to kiss for cover! love to hate! fake dating! All of these need to be fully exploited and above all the spying has to be funny. This needs to be the centre of the film. Not a single montage. It needs to circle through every conceivable trope to romantic and comic effect. We need to see these two bickering and flirting and denying their attraction in ridiculous undercover situations. This should be basically 90% of the film. Because that I would watch. But “Todd is cheating” is beyond boring. So what will the scenario be?

A couple of options and I’m not sure what I’d go with at present. Firstly would be sticking with the “Todd is cheating” plotline but... he isn’t. He’s a great guy! The spying is all pointless and both Kelsey and Connor realise that but... just... can’t quite bring themselves... to stop... because that’s their excuse to see each other. Todd and Emily find out in the most embarrassing way possible, and find it hilarious. Because they’re a well-adjusted couple ready to take the next step into married life. Either Aunt-now-Mum Olivia did start it and then has to eat humble pie and realise she was wrong about everything or someone else instigated it. Maybe a jealous ex? IDK. It doesn’t really matter. They’re proved totally wrong and true love triumphs!

The alternative is that Todd is really a bad egg but in that case we need to play his relationship with Emily differently so she doesn’t come out looking like a robot or an idiot. We can do a Much Ado situation where their superficial relationship - Emily desperately trying to please her mother as much as Kelsey is trying to distance herself (two sides of the same coin) - is contrasted with the real and flawed relationship that develops between Kelsey and Connor. Meanwhile, because this is a romcom, while Todd and Emily’s relationship is obviously wrong from the start, Emily builds up a cute friendship with the adorable baker making her wedding cake - who is the only appealing character in the film as it stands. Once Emily’s relationship with Todd is exploded, then give her a shoulder to cry on and the hope of something real with the lovely baker in the future.

But even if Todd is a genuinely rotter, the spying needs to be a smokescreen. If Kelsey and Connor do discover whatever is dodgy about Todd, it needs to happen accidentally and so all their spy antics need to be a complete waste of time except to lead to them falling in love. Because actually spying on people and so on is... not very nice and turns this into a spy film rather than a romcom. Even better, let Emily come to the realisation herself. When Kelsey breaks the news to her (she has to do it, not Connor for maximum emotion, and not ridiculously while she’s at the altar) then Emily has to admit she already worked it out so she can make a really informed decision.

If you’re going to have Connor propose at the end (which is stupid) then the correct response is for Kelsey to laugh hysterically and say something like, “Are you crazy? But you can take me out for a real date!” Cue kiss, applause and credits.

So Connor. Firstly, his background needs to be simplified. He shouldn’t be Emily’s ex. That’s just weird. And the whole money business is dubious and overly-complicated and doesn’t make him look great and is just shoe-horned in for ~drama. He’s just a stranger who is a PI. The end. This ought to be an easy job for him, a boring one. He didn’t count on the genuinely smart, witty wedding planner he got entangled with. Bless his snarky, so over-it cotton socks.

So, I can see you wondering, haven’t I removed all sources of tension? No issue with the ex, no money problems, Kelsey and Connor don’t even affect Emily’s relationship. What is the massive problem that will occur 4/5ths the way through and make our hero and heroine desperately miserable for five minutes before the final denouement? But, my friend, if you think this is a problem, then you’ve completely missed the central premise of this story. They think they’re just forced to work together! As spies! Undercover! But actually! They have real feelings! For each other! Isn’t that enough of a plot? When Emily and Todd’s wedding either goes ahead without problem or is broken up no thanks to the inept spy duo, they have no longer any reason to see each other! And thinking that the other one doesn’t care, they just sadly say goodbye and prepare to part for ever... BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU. Look, this is all the level of conflict this film needs. Nobody is watching this because they want this part of the film to last more than a couple of minutes maximum. Just let them roll their eyes at each other like the Beatrice and Benedick dynamic they so desperately wish they had and kiss!

THE END.

#The Christmas Wedding Planner #I can't believe how long I've spent on this #literally hours #I am wasted as a teacher #I should write Hallmark movies #I know this is Netflix not Hallmark but let's no quibble over details #Netflix should be able to do better #I'm tempted to write this #I mean I think the plot would be sufficiently different to the original I think I could get aaway with it