#been writing it out in segments and will probably be posting it here because motherfucker it was WILD

[corpsentry]

behind the taylor swift gundam was in fact another, smaller gundam: a brief inquiry into the events of june 2020

so back in june this year june and i got together and we made this motherfucker of a story with this motherfucker of a thread to keep track of it all. but you already know that! and i’ve already got one foot and three elbows in my grave, so i’ll spare you the long-winded stuff. you wanna know how i wrote 93,035 words in 4 weeks? i’ll tell you how i wrote 93,035 words in 4 weeks-

-by linking you guys to copies of my planning documents because i feel like those words speak louder than any words i can offer in the present day. these are long documents. but they are also historical artifacts. very interesting. very weird. very, uh, full of cussing. so anyway, here’s

BIG DADDY: THE ORIGINAL PLANNING DOCUMENT

for those, like me, who have no motivation left in life to do anything and rely on summaries from others to acquire new knowledge, it all started with a single line.

prince of a fallen kingdom atsumu tries to kill hinata but falls in love with him instead

june, april something, 2020

with that in mind i tested the concept out with a few paragraphs of text, which you can find at the bottom of the Big Daddy document in the graveyard segment, accidentally sold my soul to the image of hinata with epaulettes, and then worked backwards, structuring an entire plot around two images:

a) hinata getting the shit beat out of him, with snark b) hinata and atsumu dancing in an empty ballroom under the stars

if you want a betrayal, you have to have something worth losing. if you want to fall in love with someone you don’t know, you have to meet them. if you have to meet them, there has to be a reason for that meeting, and so somewhere in between atsumu became a sword instructor and hinata the prince with daddy issues. june and i used this method of glancing anxiously over your shoulder to see what you’d missed to fill out the blanks in the story, after which i tacked up a bunch of post-its, typed out the plot, consulted june, typed out the plot again, and then broke the characters down into a bunch of questions, like ‘what do they want?’ and ‘what do they have?’ and ‘what are they afraid of?’

with the plot more or less ironed out, i decided it was time to start writing, and then i decided that i was actually too scared to start writing after all, so instead i set a couple of timers using classroomtimers.com (15-20 minutes long) and i sat down and i wrote about the world that hinata and atsumu inhabited.

each warm-up was 300-500 words long, and for the first few days, i’d write one before getting into writing the story proper. later these evolved into simply picking a scene from the story and launching straight into it, which became useful for opening those scenes later when i got to them organically.

then i got lazy! so i stopped. but these shitty little exercises were really useful for me because, unfettered by plot, convention, or any kind of tradition hovering over my shoulder, i was able to fuck around loosely enough to realize what i wanted this story to be. it was a very contrived kind of trial-and-error, an exploration of the characters, the story, but most importantly, the tone.

RESEARCH, PLANNING, AND VICTORIAN BOUGIE FASHION

this is a loose map of the castle and Important Locations within it, which i drew up at the start so i could keep track of where everything was and how i could get my characters from point A to point B. i wanted the story to have Some kind of internal logic, you know, even if that logic amounted to ‘a compass would function normally in this world whereas kageyama tobio would not’.

99% of my planning and organizing within those five weeks took place in this lovely dotted cat journal which my sister gave me for my birthday and i repurposed into a metaphorical Diary of Suffering while working on juno. i used it for everything from keeping track of narrative threads to clothing consistency checks, but the main purpose was this: each day at about 10 pm i’d crack open the cat book to a fresh page, stamp the date and the day of suffering at the top, and then write down a list of things i wanted to write, address, or fix today. then i’d sit at my laptop and write like a madman until about 7 in the morning. with breaks, of course, for sitting in the bathroom and staring at the wall and sitting in the kitchen and staring at the wall, but mostly i was writing. and complaining about writing. you were there, you probably remember that.

anyway, here are some pages from the cat book.

aside from the fact that my handwriting is complete shit, you can see that i made zero effort for any of this to be presentable. it was mainly a way for me to keep track of my thoughts because i have the attention span of an ikea wardrobe and tend to forget things as soon as i think of them. the lack of structure also mirrored the way that i went about writing juno. while i did proceed, for the most part, in chronological order, i had a lot of weird and useless revelations during lunch, which by this point was happening around 2 am, and in the 5 minutes before the exhaustion finally hit and carried me down to hell. i changed A Lot. again, to understand exactly how much the story evolved from day one onwards, please consult the big daddy document.

in the meantime, here’s something else.

once june sent over hinata and atsumu’s character designs i sat down like the fucking fool i am and spent 2 hours poring over a document about victorian and other fashion movements of the past so i could assign a noun, adjective, and verb to each element of their outfits. i don’t know why i did this. i certainly could have not, but i attempted to make sense of their ‘fits from a logistical perspective and that went into the cat book too. everything went into the cat book. the cat book is a relic of the past now, stuffed with artifacts such as the birth of oikawa tooru, and also his demise.

MEDIUM DADDY: EDITING, PROOFREADING, AND CREEPY MURDER CATS

i finished writing on june 26th, 2020, approximately a month after i’d first started planning, somewhere around may 27th or 28th. at that point i had about 90,000 words’ worth of story and no sanity left whatsoever, so i took a day-long break to stare at a wall and listen to taylor swift’s enchanted on loop.

and then i made a new document, which you can look at using the link above, and i laid out everything i had to do. i’d discovered a fuck ton of plot inconsistencies and general errors while writing and lying awake in bed at 9 a.m., sleepless in seattle, and now that i was free of the demon egging me towards the first finish line, it was time to Deal with them. i speed-scrolled through the draft, which was 200+ pages compressed into one google doc, because i like to tempt god’s wrath, and fixed up all the plot issues over the course of a few days. this was the fun part.

the actual, hard editing was the extremely un-fun part. i reread the entire thing, paragraph by paragraph, line by damn line, from start to finish, paying especially close attention to awkward phrasing, incomplete dialogue, and moments which had fallen flat in my haste to get on to the next one. this was really fucking terrible. i spent more time lying facedown on the floor than actually editing anything, but after a long time (about a week), that, too was done.

SMALL DADDY: TITLES, SUMMARIES, AND GOOD FUCKING BYES

i spent a good eighty days thinking about the title, though hilariously enough we ended up with something that was a blend of our names. june + elmo = juno, which is, all things considered, pretty perfect, but the process of picking the title was Hell, and i Did Not Come Up With The Title until about 2 hours before posting. you can take a look at the haphazard clusterfuck of my title-selecting process in small daddy, which is linked above.

so the title was a last-minute choice. so was the summary. and the chapter divisions. and actually all the songs in the playlist for juno. the day we dropped juno onto planet earth like a newborn baby pitched out of the sky, i spent an hour hunched over my laptop, cutting my 213 page google doc into chapters based on nothing more than a Vibe. two days before that, i also attempted to voice-act the entirety of juno, an affair which ended at the 20,000 word mark with a sore throat and the kind of exhaustion one typically wants to sleep in a coffin for 23 years to get rid of. so in all honesty, i did very little editing, which is why there are definitely minor typos and/or mistakes hanging out somewhere on that chunky ao3 webpage. but whatever.

my attitude by july 5th (was it july 5th? or 4th? somewhere around there) was basically whatever. anything so i could get finish this damn thing, chuck it out of the window, and never see another google doc until the next century. i’ve been asked a few times how exactly i wrote at a rate of roughly 2000-3000 words per day for four weeks straight, and my answer has always been this: i died. what died, you ask? my soul. my spirit. my Will To Live. i’m a creature of fixations, and juno was my fixation for june. will i ever be able to do this again? would i recommend this experience to anyone? is god real? the answer to all of the above is probably no. juno was a fever dream, and so is my cat book. and so are all the lattes i had. and so was my 9 am to 4 pm sleep schedule.

but what we made is real. the research, oikawa tooru, the 4 am conversations in which i was like ‘how the fuck do i end this’ and june was like ‘jade proposal’ (the proposal was her idea. all rise for twitter user atsuhinas. she is the mastermind behind all of the Inch Resting moments in this story; i just flapped a korok leaf in her direction and made sure the air circulation was working properly) are real as fuck, and looking back, there’s a lot i’d change, but i’m lazy. and college is starting. and anyway, i did write 93,035 words in just under five weeks, four if you don’t count the week of Editing Hell, so i think that’s pretty cool.

thank you for reading this to the end, and for following us on our journey through the enigmatic taylor swift gundam fic which quite literally consumed my entire twitter account for the five weeks i spent working on it. retrospectively speaking i really was butt-obsessed so i am frankly incredibly impressed with everyone around me for putting up with a Husk of a Man for a month. thank you for doing that. thank you for indulging my vague tweeting, and our butterfly dns, and for reading 93 thousand words of gay fanfiction set in a high fantasy world with epaulettes and galettes. on behalf of june, once again, we are incredibly grateful for all your support.

if you have any questions about specific aspects of the writing process, or anything you’d like to know in general with reference to JUNO, feel free to drop me an ask through my tumblr inbox, or through my curiouscat over here. i’m aware i didn’t cover everything, but there’s frankly too much to put in a tumblr post without passing away somewhere around the 56% mark, so let me know what’s on your mind, and i’ll try to answer that to the best of my abilities. but anyway, before i go, here are some

TAKEAWAYS

one: don’t try to write 93,000 words in five weeks. seriously don’t fucking do it you will end up jittery and sleep-deprived and you will leave all your friends on read for a month. pace yourself. set realistic goals. you wrote 2k this week? that’s fantastic. you wrote 4k in a day? you absolute motherfucker. i hope you’re taking a long fucking break tomorrow. your story will not run away from you, but if you run too fast, you will get tired, and then you will pass away.

two: you don’t have to know everything about your story before you start writing. in fact if you have a single camera shot of two characters holding hands under a rose garden awning, i think that’s fucking wonderful. if you look at big daddy, you’ll realize that my initial plot draft, and all the ones following that, are not perfectly aligned with the final version of juno. i improvised over half of the scenes in this motherfucker, and to be completely honest, some of the improvised scenes were the best. fucking oikawa tooru was improvised out of nowhere. he only got written in way later, around chapter 8 or something, because i realized i needed a plot device and a source of information to keep the playing table from toppling over. i Sat Down one day and was like ‘okay, it’s time to write oikawa into the introduction. because he matters now. he didn’t matter last week but now he does, and soon he’s going to be the fulcrum of the entire story, because it’s like that with oikawa tooru’. it’s okay to change your mind halfway. it’s okay to go back and rewrite entire scenes or segments. it’s okay to highlight 4 pages of fresh, sentimental writing, and hit delete. writing is a fluid process, and you Will make discoveries as you progress through your story alongside your characters. be understanding of that iterative process. be kind to yourself.

three: You Are That Motherfucker. you, me, your dog, your dog’s friend, your dog’s enemy, all of us are that motherfucker. i never thought i’d be able to write anything longer than the great big map, which was a much simpler, linear story in which the other main character did not appear in the current timeline until like the eighth chapter. juno was different. juno was the motherfucker, and i was scared shitless of it, and to cope with that fear joked constantly while writing that it’d never see the light of day.

but it did. it was a rocky process, and i was awake for 48 hours after posting it because of the sheer adrenalin stuck in my skull, but i got through it. and i wouldn’t have been able to do it without june, who stepped in when i flopped over facedown on the floor and dragged me to my feet like the badass friend she is, and without everyone else in my life, who put up with me talking about The Thing that i couldn’t really talk about, but juno’s up there now. forever, or until the internet collapses and civilization goes extinct. and if the nineteen year old clown with the attention span of an ikea armchair and an a level certificate from hell wrote the 93,000 word long thing, so can you. i mean this completely unironically and with every ounce of genuine emotion i can summon from the cracked asshole of my heart.

writing is hard. writing is scary. writing is an investigation of the world around you and therefore, by extension, yourself, and that kind of honesty is freaky. it’s like going skinny-dipping next to the president’s mansion. who’s going to see you? what if they take a photo? what if you lose your spot at university?

but don’t think about that. our world is overrun with stories the way cereal bowls are full of cereal, but it’s those stories that keep us all sane in the disgusting day-to-day muck of reality, so think about your story. what’s haunting you today? what message do you want to leave printed in font size 666 comic sans across the southern hemisphere of the planet? what will you be tomorrow?

a writer. you’re going to be a motherfucking writer.

#my stuff

[hyungtop]

Could you do an intro post for vixx like you did for sf9?

so for those of y’all who read my sf9 intro post, i’m sorry bc this is prob gonna be a lot longer I”M SORRY how can you guys ask me to do this for my faves

vixx (synonymous with “concept kings”) stands for “visual, voice, value in excelsis,” which is meant to say that vixx has the best vocals/visuals and all that but after 5 years many people think that the “v” in vixx also stands for violence oops. before debut, they were in a survival show called mydol with a few other trainees. under jellyfish entertainment, vixx debuted may 24, 2012 with the song superhero. since then, vixx have been known as concept-dols because of the way they incorporate themes into their teasers, outfits, mv and go way beyond in terms of expressing these particular concepts.

one thing you have to know about vixx is that they’re relatively popular but somewhat overlooked because they create music and concepts that they are interested in, which don’t necessarily overlap with what the majority of the kpop consumer body wants to see or hear. but they don’t care. they are happy making music and are grateful for all of their fans, no matter how small or big their fanbase is.

(another thing: vixx is literally 80% legs)

vixx’s fanbase name is starlight! starlights are known to be very respectful of the group’s space and privacy and for that reason the members are pretty “close” to us, their fans.

members:

n (cha hakyeon)

born june 30, 1990

main dancer, lead vocalist, leader

is actually perfect: sings, dances, choreographs, acts, cooks and is responsible, caring, hard-working, treats everyone with respect

“mom”

neck chops

chabooty

known for his sexy gaze and charisma onstage

has a very stressful job watching over five hooligans

beautifully tanned skin that he takes very good care of

proudly watches over vixx as they cheat on variety segments during games

kinda insecure abt showing his forehead which sucks bc it is glorious

a makeup genius, as shown on lipstick prince s2

MAGIC HIPS

lead in “in the heights” musical

has acted in web dramas and dramas like sassy go go, what’s with money, tunnel, perfect wife

makes candles in his free time and i believe the profits from what he sells go to charity

has choreographed bits of vixx’s choreography over the years and most recently choreographed “take it out” by myteen

do yourself a favor and watch some n fancams after you finish reading this post

leo (jung taekwoon)

born nov. 10, 1990

main vocalist, composer

mr hot body, resident shoulder gangster and athlete

used to be painfully shy on camera but recently he’s opened up a lot. before he used to give cold stares but now he’s screaming and smiling and laughing

huge soft spot for cute things, mostly babies and animals

powerful vocals

but has a soft, sweet speaking voice

hyuk’s ramen shuttle

yaoi hands

iconic long hair during hyde era

ripped jeans

nicknamed “hamzzi” (hamster) by ravi and it kind of stuck…

but it’s a fitting nickname, leo’s always stuffing his cheeks with food bc food > camera

really really likes coffee

also called the head fairy because he bows his head and shows the top of it when he’s embarrassed

has acted in musicals like full house, monte cristo, mata hari

he used to be vixx’s dad but now he’s more like vixx’s grandpa

wishes for the good old days when hyuk and the rest of vixx used to take him seriously

ken (lee jaehwan)

born april 6, 1992

main vocalist

aegyo king/wink fairy

starlights are his babies

bffs with bts jin and b1a4′s sandeul (@ celebrity bromance where is my 92 grandpa squad episode) and also exid’s hani!!!

hair porn

wiggly butt

an expensive hoe…he has so many shoes and overly expensive casual clothes

proud of his big nose

loves attention from the members

angry gamer

beautiful, goosebump-inducing falsetto

has a dirty mouth and has gotten in trouble for it…but it’s okay(if you watch vixx mtv diary there’s one episode where he starts cussing in english to lose a game)

rising musical actor, starred in chess, cinderella, and hamlet

also acted in the drama boardinghouse 24

loves to draw! he’s had a few “art lesson” vlives and draws the characters for their vixx tv videos

eats everything in sight

but he’s been working really hard and is going around shirtless now (famously dubbed as “having a tits party”)

ravi (kim wonshik)

born feb. 15, 1993

main rapper, lead dancer, vocalist

loves dogs and is a doggy daddy, he has a french bulldog named butt aka ongdongie (don’t go googling “ravi butt” now)

in the top 10 idols with royalties, boi is raking in the $$$$

resident fashionista, looks good in any style and any clothing (and any hair)

currently has 5 tattoos

deeeeeeeeeeeeep voice

seems very manly but is actually the softest and cries the most

knows how to work DEm HIPS

very touchy, especially loves doting on ken

expressive eyebrows

loves his younger sister and wanted to become a bodyguard for her when he grew up

hates bugs holy crap it’s not even a joke he is terrified of them

shy with girls

he’s going to lose his hair at this rate he’s been every single shade of the rainbow and more

professional photobomber/meme

has cute cheekbones that come out when he smiles

is a little bit of a shit to n but we know ravi loves him

debuted as a solo artist in january 2017 with bomb

hongbin

judging since born sept. 29, 1993

vocalist/rapper, visual

savage motherfucker but also smiley cutesy bean who laughs at everything

ravi’s soulmate

signature dimples and toothy smile

very deep but sweet and clear voice

cringe fists when he’s embarrassed

NEEDS MORE LINES

underrates himself and it’s really sad bc he’s way more than just a face if he made it this far

arms and jawline sculpted by the gods

teased for his short legs and baby hands

notable achievement: ranked #7 globally in overwatch for playing hanzo (sorry i don’t know gaming terms)

kind of emotionally constipated. he said he would “follow n anywhere” but mostly just acts like his life’s goal is to be as far away from him as possible

can be kind of mature but automatically turns into a huge dumb when put together with hyuk

well-known for his role as wang chiang in moorim school

recently starred in the drama “wednesdays at 3:30pm” check it out on viki it’s super cute!

hyuk (han sanghyuk)

born july 5, 1995

lead dancer, vocalist, maknae

from daejeon, making him the only member not from seoul

the boss of vixx

a die-hard belieber

used to be terrified of leo but grew 5 inches and muscles and now leo is his punching bag

but honestly everyone is his punching bag…except hongbin

hyuk is hongbin’s prodigy so there’s some obligatory respect there

aspiring songwriter and rapper

potato nose

fiercely competitive

hates aegyo

also a huge gamer nerd with hongbin

once abandoned by 5vixx at a gas station when he was only 16 or 17 and many speculate that this was the beginning of the end of sweet maknae hyuk

the worst cook in vixx, he can’t even fry an egg

always covering his smile

english cover king

very very wild dancer

up and coming actor! he starred in the 2016 film “chasing” as an overly aggressive delinquent with a dirty mouth and has a webdrama coming out in october with apink’s chorong!

list of comebacks and respective concepts:

superhero; may 2012

rock ur body: august 2012

on and on; vampires; april 2013

hyde/gr8u: jekyll/hyde; may/july 2013

voodoo doll: blood and gore warning; november 2013

eternity: time travelers; may 2014

error: androids; november 2014

love equation: probably the most “mainstream” song they’ve done; march 2015

chained up: love slaves; november 2015

dynamite: zelos (jealousy); april 2016

fantasy: hades (death); august 2016

the closer: kratos (destruction); october 2016

shangri la: paradise; may 2017

scentist: perfumers/scent; april 2018

some other non-title tracks that are treasures:

light up the darkness* // spider // love me do* // desperate* // black out

*choreographed by cha leader

vixx lr subunit:

vixx lr consists of leo and ravi. they had a subunit debut in august of 2015 with beautiful liar and more recently came back with whisper in late august 2017. both leo and ravi are heavily involved with song production, with both of them writing lyrics and composing for tracks on these albums.

beautiful liar

whisper

words to say

feeling

beautiful night

chocolatier

important videos:

plan v diary

only u

this iconic hyde performance I’M SORRY

stress come on!

blossom tears

one fine day (subbed episodes here)

bingo talk

white day // bloopers

ask in a box 1 2

king of masked singer n leo ken

asia where vixx loves

star 360 1 2

ken on duet song festival

i want to fall in love

don’t go today

moon of seoul

hyuk’s covers

call you mine

love yourself

photograph

hug (original)

ships: most of the ship names are pretty easy to figure out. the most popular ones are probably wontaek (leo/ravi), neo, keo, raken/kenvi, rabin, luck (leo/hyuk), chabin (n/hongbin).

i hope this helps! let me know if any of the links are funky :)

#hmu if u wanna talk more abt vixx #I AM ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO TALK ABOUT VIXX. #about vixx #asks #vixx

[elkian]

whats up you memeloving fucks it’s time for more TLP

ch 20: Battle in Blaine

I feel I should point out that in Blastinus’ LP, this is one of the few -if not only- chapters where they had to do separate Plot and Gameplay posts.

I’d also like to mention that Writing is not Blazer’s strongest point.

This is legit part of the first opening lines:

“I assure you the information I have to tell you is important for you to know.” “Although I've already heard this, I feel I should be here to discuss it. This discussion affects all of us, after all.”

riveting

The first segment has, as I roughly estimated, around 1,000 words of dialogue. Then there’s a scene change to the antagonists. Then like four more scene changes. Keep in mind that this is all across dialogue boxes that can hold roughly two lines of 10 total words at a time.

tldr (can’t blame you): I skip the shit out of this part and go straight to play

The map is largely Wyvern Riders, Cavaliers, and Knights, with a few Wyvern Lords and Generals and a Physic Bishop too far removed from the meat of the map to really contribute.

Also, this. The Bloody Rifle is an upgrade to Blazer’s Rifle Bow, basically a Killer Longbow I guess? The problem is that, if you recall, no one in my army has any fucking Skill.

Blastinus’ helpful map. We left a word slog for a literal slog.

Here’s something neat: Halberdiers were introduced officially in FE9, meaning someone took the time to make this exceptionally nice class portrait. Their sprites are pretty obvious, especially in combat, but not bad - just not quite Intsys-like.

Hey, I just realized it skipped over 19x even though I have Rex in my party. Is my game just bugged?

The map is not kind to sword units, and I almost bring Shuuda, but there’s a buttload of Vuleraries and Elixirs for the stealin’

Our ultimate team. Remember Levion’s Dragon Axe way back in our first Kelik chapter? Yeah, it’s Mark’s now.

It says a lot that my Knight is more useful on this godawful slog that a Wyvern Rider is. Karina’s here to decide her benching or not.

this is Yue, almost certainly a Cardcaptor Sakura reference and also responsible for like a third of the 6,000-something words in the pre-chapter. He decides he needs to not only introduce himself fully but also explain why he is introducing himself. Not a great way to enter my good grace, bucko.

Howard, who we (barely) kicked the shit out of two chapters ago, only has two lines of dialogue before finally letting us fight. Also, considering how shitty my cavaliers not named Eduardo are, he’s probably gonna be a staple for a bit.

At the very least, I get a hyper-strong Paladin and an okay Shaman on a long, Wyvern-heavy map. They can make themselves useful, unlike, say, a level 1 shaman and an incredibly shitty Valkyrie on a desert map

Also this dude was in the starting village. (he has 7 Def and 4 Res, pretty okay for a level 8 Fighter.) He comes with a Dragon Axe (and C Support with Mark), too.

Zach hops into the Ballista

also here’s Yue’s stats

Lastly, he has this Amulet, which gives the holder +10 Hit/Avoid. Blastinus doesn’t think it’s worth taking up 20% of a unit’s inventory, but Blastinus isn’t completely Skill-screwed. Seriously, the Shaman has better Skill than like four or five of the units I’m fielding.

please note that if not for the Weapon Triangle, Ed would being doing as much damage with a Sword as these fools are with Lances (and have like +30 on their hit). I love Ed.

not entirely sure about that lime green lining on the bottom, but Yue’s sprite is pretty decent

So. Uh. If that second Wyvern had hit, Ed would be dead. -_-’’’’

this is the start of turn 2, and we’ve killed like two wyverns. You CANNOT rush this chapter - the Wyverns are just strong enough to overwhelm a unit if they pile on.

Kevin: Still awesome.

While everyone else is getting like 15-20 EXP from a kill, Rex is in the 40s. Not bad.

Mark gets our first level of the map, and it’s gorgeous.

does skill even matter when Ed can hit on a 68 but i have consistent misses on 80+?

I don’t think I really looked at Howard’s battle sprite before. It’s not bad, though part of the recolor on the horse’s tail is done wrong and looks off.

I piled like 3 units on this damn Paladin who kept dodging at 1 HP, but Yue, of all people, brings us home. (this is especially surprising because I stupidly sacrificed him trying to make a Nosferatu hit on the guy one loadstate ago)

Emma patches Karina up for a totally acceptable level.

good thing that was the last enemy in range

Anakin Motivates Zach to disappoint me.

Mark revisits his old friend Effective Damage.

So here is a fucking quandry. No one in range of this Wyvern Rider can OHKO them. Karina might be able to with the Killer lance, on a 75% hit chance, but if she fails she dies.

After some agonizing, she trades Zach for his Elixir (and to equip him with the Short Bow) and doesn’t attack. Everyone else in range can take a hit and most can counterattack, so worst case, they’ll go for Althares, who’s sitting at full HP on a fort (and wielding a Lancereaver).

I so want to do this but she would be murdered by all the upcoming enemies.

Howard is a great Panic Button for this mission - he’s not indestructible, but he can be alone for a turn or two without dying.

Oh Fuck(TM) 

fortunately, between Zach’s lightning Speed and the weight of a Steel Lance, he doubles in return, but this was an unpleasant surprise. I’m glad the Wyvern Rider I was worrying about flew off to heal before this.

Zach and Karina double-team the Wyvern Lord (who Zach can double even with a Steel Bow). Karina apparently fears the bench.

So here’s something fun:

Emma, at technically the same level, has more Defense than Howard., Hell, aside from HP/Con/Attack Stat (and, for some reason, luck), She’s better than him in every way. What the hell.

I was gonna Motivate Zach to retreat towards heals before remembering that Anakin could do that. His Magic is so high that just a Heal staff is enough, too.

This rude-ass motherfucker whacks Mark, so Mark procs a goddamn 26 (before True Hit!) to nearly murder him in response.

FUCK

We make this happen again.

but not this :(

rude

Acceptable

I know Ace is on Forest, but look at that hit rate! It’s hilarious!

A GOOD LEVEL

I was trying to soften the Cav up for Lirin but Mark decided to proc both hits for an okay level. He’s getting a lot of mileage on this map - and I have an Animate Seal (basically Master Seal for non-Lord-likes) but I know there’s an Ocean Seal coming up.

I wasn’t expecting Lirin to dodge, so this is already going better than my pre-loadstate (>>)

I’d complain, but Defense. On a Peg Knight.

We put Sai to the test, and he works out rather nicely, landing both adn dodging the counter. I’m ambivalent about his spritework.

I had to reload several times trying to push this segment before finally going the patient route.

Sweet Jesus, that was close.

Sai apparently lives to impress.

So glad i put her on Forest. Cia’s Speed is nearly as hilarious as Ace’s, so she’s a great dodge tank if you place her right.

Even moreso now. What a great level.

That’s adorable

Sadly Sai is not strong enough to one-shot a Wyvern, but give him time.

We all pile on to the Wyvern Rider, with Zach surprisingly hitting on the first Rifle shot to finish it.

We’ve been taking potshots at this Physic Bishop for a while - to the point that he ran off to drink vulneraries instead of use Physic for like three turns - and Inanna finally puts him out of his misery.

I’m glad later FE games thought that Falcoknights should get Staves and Wyvern Rides->Lords Axes->Axes and Lances, cause the whole Sword thing just seems silly to me.

Goddammit Zach

Emma patches Keving up for a nice level. Aside from her frankly terrible luck, Emma is basically untouchable.

hey hey! Ace and Ed can support again! Since Eduardo is only second to Kevin in my physical-units heart, this is fine.

Like so. Ace’s Avoid should only be 45 ((17x2)+11) with the weight of the Javelin, Eduardo’s ((11x2) +12) 34, so both of them are gett +15% Avoid at B-rank. Not to mention Hit, crit, and Dodge

Ow.

Why is this random Knight so fucking strong

I feed Yue the kill for an acceptable level.

Not bad! Love to see some speed, but I’ll take this.

...speaking of strong randos, this cav- which is one of the weakest enemy types in this map - is meeting Sai’s damage despite WTD

Lirin chips at ‘em for a pretty great level, though that Speed is scaring me.

also there was a Secret Shop right above the village, so Inanna’s going shopping

except we can’t afford the one thing I wanted. oh well.

Anakin throws some Motivation at Althares for a pretty great level. Keep on truckin up that Avoid, bro.

lol

oh.

Sai unexpectedly procs a crit for his first level. Not bad for a Fighter, especially since he hasn’t doubled anything on this map.

Karina pokes this (weirdly healthy) Soldier, careful to stay out of Bloody Rifle range.

So Sai can Support with Mark but Mark can’t do the same - I’m guessing that Talk options fall under this menu.

considering my options. That bow weighs in at a whopping 12, so the Sniper can’t actually double Kevin. They can, however, crit him exactly to death.

Ed’s faster but has lower Con and Def, but higher HP and Luck. But that Defense difference means a crit will also kill him.

My best bet is probably luring over the other nearby enemies, then swooping in with high-Move and Motivated units and trying to one-round the bastard.

A Cav was pestering Sai, so I tried to chip em down only for Zach to crit on the first Rifle shot. And apparently he’s realized his precarious position.

----

So I went though.... a LOT of reloads before deciding that maybe I should actually act on that plan to draw out the Sniper’s buddies. They’re surrounded by Wyvern Lords with high-class gear, and I just kept losing Althares and Lirin to focus fire.

It’s kind of funny, because the object of my caution - the sniper with the Bloody Rifle - was NEVER the actual source of a game over.

It may be due to the support with Mark I just grabbed, but I like that Sai has a better hit chance despite the weapon types and WTD. He also dodges.

You know, I totally forgot about his Dragon Axe?

The fucker doubles Lirin with her Javelin disadvantage and misses twice. This particular Wyvern Lord was the source of at least four resets because they kept double-killing Lirin with that fucking sword. I don’t know whether to be pleased or pissed here.

Karina FINALLY proccing a Killer Lance crit almost soothes the pain of her getting no level.

oh, and also this. She has this now.

How did you MISS

Inanna cleans up for a- sigh.

Yue joins the miss club.

A big theme of this map is piling multiple units onto one enemy in order to kill them in one turn, lest they murder a weaker unit. Having such low Skill all around is part of the problem.

Lirin finishes this fucker off for a good level. Maybe now not everything on the map will double her.

So here’s Anakin’s base Avoid stats.

And here he is with the Amulet, in range of Ace, on Forest terrain.

In range of the Bloody Rifle Sniper.

This is the funniest fucking thing

How’s that 21-Damage 12-Crit working for ya

Ed didn’t ACTUALLY need to crit that Wyvern Lord, but he did anyways, because he’s awesome. I love you, Eduardo.

Ace finishes the Sniper for a pretty excellent level

Anakin gets hit on some amazingly low odds and decides it shouldn’t happen again.

can you imagine how sadlarious it would have been if that had hit

And now that it’s our turn again...

Aw yisssss. Look at those stat gains! 3 con! He can use Javelins without his ridiculous Speed going down.

A refreshed Sai brings down a Cav for a mediocre level. I’d like some Skill or Speed in the future, buddy.

good thing we fed Cia all those Robes way back when

you know, this is the second thing we’ve stolen with Althares all map? There’s just too many enemies and too little space to work him.

Zach somehow hits twice and finishes an enemy Halberdier. I wish I could show off the animations; they’re pretty good.

sure

Karina definitely fears the bench.

Sai gets what would be his second Hand Axe crit for... you know, I’m okay with this. He’s actually doubling people now.

Lirin chips at an enemy halberdier for this phenomenal level

Rex does the same, but better. Also, he has more Speed than the Peg Knight, at a lower level. We also grab his and Kevin’s C Rank Support.

Anakin Motivates Yue to actually do something useful, like get a good level. Goddamn.

Also, he still has more Skill than Ace

We’re finally down to the last enemies and the boss. The General has a Spear, and this Bishop actually has a tome, so we’re treading lightly STILL.

Sai borrows Mark’s Hammer.

aw sick

Sai is actually in the Bishop’s range, but not to worry - I park Lirin two spaces above him, blocking him off. Hilariously, Lirin (and Inanna) will only take 1 damage from that Bishop.

Said Bishop couldn’t even double Sai before this level. This Bishop is clearly a healbot.

Zach finishes the job for a decidedly defensive level. Not bad, but look at that fucking Skill! He has more Defense than Skill!

btw, here’s Lirin and Inanna’s stats.

If Lirin promoted right now, she would outdo her sister in everything except Speed and HP, and remember that we gave Inanna like 10 points in HP with stat boosters.

On the other hand, Lirin’s Speed and Con are so abysmal that I’m not sure I should be using her...

the boss, of course, hits like a fucking truck and has a unique 1-2 range weapon.

....and then Sai fucking OHKOs him with a Dragon Axe crit

I... yeah, okay.

Thank you, Sai, for putting this chapter to rest finally.

#elk text #4th #May #2017 #May 4th 2017 #Elk plays TLP #Elkian plays The Last Promise #fire emblem: the last promise