#bmatt got jokes

[thebmatt]

I finally figured out why the Eden primals look so different.

They strayed too far from the Source material.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

I was leveling Warrior on my alt the other day, queued up for the Trial Roulette, and I ended up with The Whorleater.

I told the other tank, “Hey, this is my first time doing Leviathan as a tank, so if you wanna main, I’ll follow your lead.”

He replied “Actually, this is my first time in here as a tank too”

I guess we were in the same boat

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Did you guys hear about the new game exploit that lets hyurs get a free fantasia whenever they want?

They just have to go to the First, die, be buried and then dug up again.

At that point they’re ex-Humed!

#bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Did you guys know it’s a cultural tradition in the Crystarium to celebrate the anniversary of the day you got your apartment?

It’s true. They call it “In-the-Pendants Day”

#final fantasy xiv #bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Hey, fellow Black Mage enjoyers out there.

Have you given Fisher a try?

I know it might seem very different, but if you’re already familiar with Black Mage, you’ve already got the most important part of Fisher down: Don’t move while casting.

#final fantasy xiv #bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

I got into a pillow fight with Zero, but I lost. Now I have to pay for all her food for a full month.

Guess I couldn’t handle the Reaper cushions.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

You guys aren’t gonna believe this, but I just saw a Lalafell couple get mugged in the streets of Ul’dah!

I didn’t think anyone could stoop so low!

#final fantasy xiv #bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes #is this what they mean by ‘low hanging fruit’?

[thebmatt]

I heard Haurchefant’s ghost was gonna be the mentor/questgiver for one of the new jobs in the next expac. It’s called the Holey Knight.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Hythlodaeus: “Hey Azem, you hear about that new concept Hades submitted to the Bureau?” Azem: “I did not! What was it?” Hythlodaeus: “It’s this really big quadrupedal herbivore with massive antlers. They’re calling it ‘Emet’s Elk’!”

Azem: 🤦

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Someone told me that sin eaters weigh an awful lot, but I dunno, I think they’re pretty light

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

You guys see the leak of the new Carpenter abilities? Turns out they’ll be able to cut wood just by lookin’ at it. I know it’s hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes!

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Did you guys know that Ishgard has a really great Greek restaurant?

I took Haurchefant there once. He loved it. I’m not surprised. After all, a smile better suits a gyro.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Did you guys know that back in the ARR Days I was the richest member of my Free Company?

Then I financed a doomed expedition to the Lost City.

Now I Amdapoorest.

#final fantasy xiv #bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

Did you guys see the new cafe that opened in Ul’dah? Traditional Lalafell cuisine.

Pretty tasty, but the line is always long.

Turns out they’re.....short staffed. 

#Final Fantasy XIV #Bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes

[thebmatt]

I got myself banned from helping Tataru cook this week.

Turns out I got careless while making a fruit tray and I left a banana peel on the floor.

As you can imagine, the Lala fell

#final fantasy xiv #bmatt got jokes #specifically dad jokes