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wonhoarctic · 3 years

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flash | lee hoseok (wonho)

word count: 2.2K

resquest: hii! may i request a wonho angst fic, please? 🥺🥺 thank you in advance!! (i've translated to english)

a/n: hi love! ofc you can, here's your request, by the way, i hope you like it!! ah, and you don't need to be like this with me, we're friends!! (i was going to write it in portuguese but idk if there are people who use to read this, and i did something with ain't about you and with you, that are your favorite songs!! <3

pairing: idol!wonho x idol!fem reader

genre: angst, but with some fluff and smut undertones

contains: wonho can't help but remember about you, lee y/n, the love of his life, his wife and the mother of his beautiful daughter, in the middle of an online concert he's holding, specially when performing his new song flash, which was made just or you (the songs are not in order of albuns!! it's all mixed)

flashbacks are in italic!!!

tw// death, car accident, sasaengs!!

the concert started out with the 'smutty songs', so he wouldn't cry at the beginning, but he couldn't help but remember about when he wrote with you, thinking about you two, loving each other until the morning, or having some rough sex, it depended on the mood, but it was about you two, and he couldn't help but remember; your blissed out face, the sounds you made just for him, mewls, whimpers and moans, just for him, the love bites and scratches you leaved on his skin at hidden places so no one would figure out, your scent, your taste... everything came back to his mind in that moment

hoseok wished he could be at least turned on from the memories he had, but he was broken, he couldn't be nothing but sad remembering about his love, his sweet y/n, who's not here anymore to comfort him after a bad day, to take care of him when he's sick, to make love to him, to kiss and cuddle, to cook his favorite ramen flavors, and to help him to take care of your newborn baby, to help him to change diapers when he don't know what to do, to see you breastfeeding the sweet embodiment of your love... how he wished you were there at that moment, he couldn't believe that you'd left him, that you had left your family

he swore he lost his energy after singing open mind, thinking that he couldn't handle that anymore, he just wanted to lay on the ground and cry, hoping you could hear him and come to cuddle and comfort your husband, but wonho knew you wouldn't come

when lose started to play, he smiled a bit while singing, remembering how you got moody when you entered the set to support him and saw your man hugging the actress by behind, the same way he used to do with you while cooking or doing something important, or when he wanted to talk with the baby during your pregnancy

your pouty face was the death of him, he remembered exactly the texture of your lips on his when he was saying how sorry he was

"you're not going to say a word to me, baby?" you shook your head no "okay, so..." he leaned forward to kiss you, taking care of your growing stomach "do you forgive me now?"

"u-ugh, fine" you blushed, hearing his giggle "but please, do it with me the next time" you laughed

"i swear that in my next mv, you'll be the actress, and our little princess needs to be there too, right?" he smiled

when the sexy concept songs ment ended, a vcr came out, and he made sure to include you on the behind the scenes of the concert, the few last clips of you two together, you helping him with choreographies and figurines, a long video of you guys choosing the right outfits for open mind mv (yeah, he did some of them without the help of his staffs) playing while he changed and prepared himself to the other ment

when lost in paradise started to play, while he sang, hoseok couldn't help but remember that day in which he asked you to marry him, he asked you to be the woman of his life, and he also remembered about your wedding day, smiling widely while thinking about when the two of you started a life

'i got a feeling it's you' said the lyrics, and yes, he got that feeling, and he was completely right, it was you, the love of his life

the wedding ceremony has ended, you two were at a hill, even though he has acrophobia, he insisted to have a wedding at that place, he felt safe in your arms, and now, the two of you looked at the place, seeing the lake below you, and the beautiful view you had from the little forest, his hands still on your hips

"how does it feel to be finally my wife, love?" he smiled

"i feel like... i feel like this is all a dream" you said, caressing the hand on your hip with your other one "and i don't want to wake up. never."

he smiled widely, turning to face you, his hand still in your hip, while the other one caressed your face, carefully wiping the joyful tears that escaped from your eyes, trying his best not to ruin your makeup

"i wanted this dream to come true so bad... i feel like i'm in paradise now" he said "and i'm so happy that our dream finally came true, y/n, i love you so much, and i'll love you forever" he whispered, kissing you

yes, it was true, maybe he was really lost in paradise with you, but now, you weren't there anymore, just memories about you

even losing you seemed to have a different meaning now..... how he wished he could be there to save you, he wanted to protect you

now, it was the interview time, and he wasn't all smiley like before, and the interviewer wasn't helping that much

"so, wonho-ssi... some of your fans noticed that you're not smiling too much today... what happened?" she asked him

"i wasn't going to talk about it, but i can't hide it from wenees anymore..." he sighed "it's just that... every single thing i do here remember me from y/n, my lovely wife, who's not here anymore"

"and what happened to her?" the interviewer didn't seemed to be aware of the situation

"there might be some wenees who don't know what happened... okay, i'll explain" he felt himself getting braver to talk about what was making he lose his sleep "i've hid about my relationship with y/n for about 7 years, but when we got married, i knew lots of fans would talk about it, so our relationship became public... how could i hide this from my precious wenees? i wanted my fans to know about my family" he felt the tears starting to run on his cheeks "i was so happy when i announced that she was pregnant... i thought wenees would be happy, too, but unfortunately, some of them started to become aggressive towards y/n" he was sobbing, even the interviewer couldn't held her tears, starting to feel guilty by asking him that "some obsessive fans started to stalk her when eunbi turned 5 months old and she started to sing again... and near to our princess' 11 month anniversary, when y/n was coming back from mcountdown, some of those wen..." he corrected himself "those sasaengs collided with her car, they were at a high speed, so it was a huge accident, and she didn't resisted..." he was angry, sad, he couldn't help but cry "i couldn't thank her to be with me, to be the mom of my precious daughter... i couldn't say a last 'i love you'... the last thing we did together as artists was the ain't about you mv... and that morning, the last thing she did before going out was to feed our baby girl, and kiss me..." i miss her so much... please, y/n, come back to me... the police had arrested those girls already, but please... say that you love me one more time" all he could do was cry

the staffs thought about ending the concert without an encore, but he insisted to sing the song he wrote for you, flash, while calming himself when the cameras were off

hoseok saw eunbi, his now one year old daughter sleeping while a staff kept an eye on her, he smiled, his eyes were still red and swollen, his face was puffy, so the baby seemed to notice, even if she was still half asleep when her dad held her tightly in his arms, she managed to grab his nose while smiling with the pacifier still in her mouth, her other hand holding the bunny plushie her mom gave her in the 10 months old birthday

"my sweet eunbi" he cooed "daddy will sing a song for mommy today... will you sing with me?" the baby smiled, her pacifier almost dropping, but wonho put it back in her mouth as soon as he could

he kissed her forehead, and then, started to retouch his makeup and change the jacket, holding eunbi in his arms again, going back to the stage

he grabbed the mic, knowing that they were on air, the first public appearance of his daughter, a beautiful moment, even if it was melancholic

Tonight I am still standing In the middle of nowhere, not knowing how you’re feeling I’m trying to find you because I was the only one who didn’t know When and where it went wrong like a fool I want to turn back time and stop it An endless flash, my love for you

while singing, he meant each one of those words, his love for you would be infinite, he'd never stop loving you, or the huge present you left him — a precious daughter, and photos of the two of you were passing through the big screens behind him, photos of your family, wedding day, honeymoon, selcas... everything he had to remember from you

The day I hugged you for the first time The day that will never come again I repeat the words alone, I love you

all he wanted to do in that moment was for you to be there, to sing with him, both of you holding your daughter, smiling... being a happy family, suddenly, he remembered that day, wishing he could turn back time to the day of your first hug, he wanted to hold you in his arms forever

You shined on me like a lighthouse When I was on my own and lost my way, flash You were shining, flash Will I ever forget you? I miss you You held me like a hero When I was unknown, tired and collapsing, flash You were warm, flash Will I ever find you again? I miss you

you were his light, when someone broke him, when he got into those scandals, when he couldn't go back to his fans, you were the one there, you were his flash, helping him to find the way back home, to give him the love he deserves

You left me and I’m the only one here I call you but there’s no answer, what else can I do? I thought I cared for you more than anything But it was my mistake, how hard was it for you? Come back to me please, give me one more chance Shine on me beautifully like you’ve always did I know bae gone be the last time This is how I’m feeling If I can see you one last time, one love

he was calling you even now, his mind was wandering back to all the memories he had with you, his one and only love, but you weren't going to answer him, you couldn't just come back from the dead

The day I let you go from my arms The day that will never come again I repeat these words alone, I want to see you

suddenly, hoseok felt guilty again while singing this part, he shouldn't let you go from his arms that morning, he should've faked being sick, or anything he could just for you to be home and live a little more

You’ve given me so much I still have more to give you back We can’t stop like this If I have one more chance

he wanted to do all he could for you, but you wouldn't be there to see it, and he would never be able to give back all the love and support you gave him, so he was doing his best to be happy for you even tho he's broken, he needed to be strong for his daughter

You left me and I’m the only one here I call you but there’s no answer, what else can I do? The shining flash, yeah Now I can be your destiny Like I’m your everything? If you’re in my arms, I won’t let you go The flash will be shining on us I’m waiting for the day you smile again

he felt the tears teasing his eyes again, but he held them back this time, ending the song with a smile, playing with the baby in his arms, hearing eunbi's loud laugh, filling his heart with some joy, finally, and he truly smiled, laughing with her

"y/n, i love you! thank you for giving me everything!" was the last thing he shouted before ending the concert

even when you're not there anymore, he felt as if he was being the most loved man in the earth by you and your daughter

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