#btw ive been trying to process my grief or whatever over losing so much of my ability to function over the past year

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

Immovable object (my chronic fatigue) vs unstoppable force (my desire to do literally anything other than lie in bed)

#was cooking nonstop for an hour yesterday #then did a bunch of dishes and some cleaning #my body did not appreciate that #i could tell when i was going to bed last night that i overdid it #but today was worse than i thought it would be #btw ive been trying to process my grief or whatever over losing so much of my ability to function over the past year #its not going well #thought a therapist might help but the ones i found and liked dont take my insurance #my last therapist specialized in trauma (was good at helping me process that) but isnt a good listener lol so i need someone else #im not thay motivated to find a new one though tbh #its a hassle and im too exhausted to deal with it #maybe ill save up all these feelings and put it into a fic someday #i talked to a fandom friend once about writing a story about a disabled character so maybe ill actually do that #someday #after i finish sgb #which will be a long time from now #a long long long time #at this rate #its so frustrating to be incapable of doing the things i want to do #especially when those things were within my capabilities not that long ago #i have to chill out about it though because emotions use energy and i have so very little of that to spare #ha ha #ha ha ha ha ha #its all good #we press on