#but holy shit our ability to focus is absolutely fucked and I don't know what to do about it

[thethingything]

"I've barely done anything other than working on art for the last few days and I'm very behind on almost every other task I need to do so I should go do those" <- these are the words of a man who was about to realise not having any energy drinks for 4 days has had a devastating effect on his ADHD symptoms and the constant background stress of everything makes him start shaking from anxiety the minute he's not distracted by the one activity he's been hyperfocusing on

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #emetophobia tw for the tags #''I'll go do something else'' *goes to do something else and starts feeling so anxious I feel like I'm gonna throw up* #I just wanna catch up with the basic tasks I've missed so I'm not completely overwhelmed #but holy shit our ability to focus is absolutely fucked and I don't know what to do about it #also we haven't had energy drinks because we forgot to bring the new box of them upstairs when we were meant to #and those boxes are fucking heavy so it's a difficult task and also by the time we remembered we'd already not had one for a couple of days #so our ADHD symptoms are bad and we're struggling to get ourselves to do much easier stuff than that #on the plus side our tooth pain currently isn't as bad as it has been and I'm hoping we can maybe go a while before it flares up again #because I would like a break from the pain and a break from taking the pain meds #and the pain makes it even harder to focus on anything so I'd like to be able to do some stuff while I'm not also dealing with that

[sebastard69]

Some EW Thoughts

Just unlocked Dark Inside so here's some thoughts

- hey what's up with garleans offing themselves? yeesh

- i like the growth eorzea and co as a whole has gone through in this game. everyone that makes up the alliance at this point has in some capacity felt the crushing weight of the empire and more than half of them have been directly occupied and overtaken by garlemald, and yet when it became apparent that the garleans themselves were suffering horrors at the hands of fandaniel and zenos, they didn't hesitate to offer aid. yes, some people refused to be part of it, and that's their right they're allowed to feel the way they do about garlemald, but like being able to separate the leaders from the people is important in situations like these - something the garleans clearly struggle to grasp. but some of them are getting there. idk i just feel like it would have been very easy to focus on the tower and fandaniel and not give a second thought to the tempered or the garleans living on the fringes, let them figure it out themselves, but we didn't do that and in fact go out of our way to subdue the tempered and work on curing them and providing everyone else with supplies. it's good, i like it.

- garlemald gives me mad ff7 vibes ngl

- literally the entire thing with having dinner with zenos and then him taking over the wols body and shit??? could not have predicted that if i tried. like a lot of stuff i manage to figure out even if it's just before it's actually revealed but this i wouldn't have seen coming a mile away. the writing is spectacular, the whole sequence was nerve wracking and anxiety inducing, bravo squenix holy shit

- literally fuck the anima fight that shit killed me 3 times. im a fucking caster im SLOW stop making the mechanics so FAST

- i'm liking the expansion so far. i'm not as IMMEDIATELY taken in with it like i was with shadowbringers, and like honestly while i fully expect to enjoy the expansion and love the story and cry my eyes out and find it to be a very good ending to this plot, i think i will probably still like shadowbringers the best. idk if i can articulate why right now, especially since i'm not even 1/4 of the way through endwalker, but shadowbringers fucking blew me out of the water. every turn had me starry eyed and shocked and surprised and excited. granted i most likely just have not reached the meat of endwalker. i mean if i'm still in the level 83 quests and i'm already fighting zodiark, clearly some more fuck shit is gonna happen.

- so i don't know how exactly, but i know i'm wrong about emet-selch. like nothing has been spoiled, but a friend told me my theory was wrong :/ but she also said if she hadn't finished endwalker already she'd be 100% on board with what i'd been saying, which to me says i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be in regards to how i feel about emet-selch. the shit i was picking up on was laid deliberately and i'm SUPPOSED to pick up on it like that, which i can respect, and at l;east it doesn't mean i'm wildly off base. still like that ridiculous wet dog of a man and i'm excited to find out in what way i was wrong.

- absolutely love the fact that the wol's friends were immediately able to tell that wasn't them during the body swap shit btw. there's plenty of verbal affection amongst the scions and i appreciate it, but the lack of tactile, physical affection - even just a head or shoulder pat once in a while - always has me feeling like the bonds aren't very strong after all, but once standing face to face with them the ability to immediately tell that it's not your friend speaks volumes imo

#ffxiv #endwalker #ffxiv endwalker