#but i still don’t approach video games like mental and physical combat simulations

[heraldofcrow]

come on you of all people have to make a choice on who is getting the blue ribbon in Malenia vs Sephiroth

they are your stabby children?

NO

I FUCKING DON’T

(incoming “angry” rant this is mostly light-hearted and non-serious, so please don’t worry 😅)

I am the QUEEN of not pitting two bad bitches against each other and instead I will gleefully say “fuck you” to all the versus battle shit that fandom loves to drool over and point out how these two would actually be pretty well-matched in most things and why MALENIA AND SEPHIROTH SPECIFICALLY SHOULD STOP BEING PITTED AGAINST OTHER CHARACTERS IN GAMING LORE BECAUSE THAT’S ALL PEOPLE EVER DO WITH THEM FOR FUCKS SAKE—

*throws Vergil’s stupid lawn chair out the window*

I spent hours and hours defending Malenia in the trenches on YouTube and Reddit back when the TRAILERS were just coming out. I STILL GET NOTIFS FROM THIS ONE THREAD OF ESSAY COMMENTS I WROTE ON YOUTUBE WHERE I TRASHED SOME SMUG DUDEBRO THAT WAS HATING ON MALENIA AND ACTUALLY MANAGED TO WIN THE SUPPORT OF 75% OF THE OTHER GAMER KIDS THAT READ MY RETORTS BECAUSE I WAS ON FIRE. (I am bragging a little, yes. I am still proud of that moment. No, I don’t want to ever re-live or re-read that cringe again but it was fun while it lasted).

I fucking think Radahn is pretty badass and a cool character, but the moment he showed up as the rival to Malenia, there were people worshipping the ground his horse walked on. As soon as the game was out, it took a couple of days for everyone to take his side in literally everything from morals to combat prowess, and Malenia just got dragged through the mud. Worst ER fandom era. I’m so tired of it and I left it behind, but dammit, I still stand with my view that Malenia deserved better from the fans.

She deserves to have her story analyzed and treated with care and her boss fight to be treated as a worthy challenge. There I said it.

Also, her strength is incredible. She is disabled and rotting from her core, but she can still do THIS?

She’s so fucking beautiful, I am gonna cry. That’s her trouncing her own disabilities to keep fighting. That’s her stunning waterfowl dance where she moves like a dancing bird.

And then she has her god-form where she becomes a vessel for an Outer God so powerful that it reshaped an entire part of the continent, and she can BLOOM, absorbing more and more power. She kills players every moment with this these days. Out of the 9 billion deaths that Elden Ring has caused players, Malenia claimed over 300 million of those when the stats were last checked. One of the best bosses in Soulsborne history and almost certainly the toughest.

She is an absolute powerhouse, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, a well-written, tragic, and morally complex character with an amazing story that I wish I could summon the brainpower to articulate in full.

And Sephiroth is the same if people can set aside all the fucking stereotypes and popular gamer perceptions of his character for five seconds.

This is him as a kid aged somewhere between 13-15:

He has his own “Waterfowl Dance” called the Octaslash:

…where he moves faster than the eye can see. He cuts through moving bullets, big-ass troop transports, and dozens of soldiers in the blink of an eye. He can also summon fire so aggressively that it completely obliterates the surrounding environment.

When he has his later powers, he cuts through enormous buildings and metal structures, he can throw….city ruins…at you,

He can….change the weather???

He can impale snake gods on giant…woodchips lmao?

He can fly without and with a wing, he can cut through different dimensions of time and space, he can shapeshift with his alien mother’s power, and he has an angelic god-form just like Malenia:

….with which he has the potential to destroy the Solar System….

And he summons a Meteor that is big enough to destroy an entire planet in the game

And it….almost does….

But see, Sephiroth CAN still be stopped. Malenia CAN still be stopped. They both have limits, and are beaten by The Protagonist Swordsmen. None of this powerscale shit matters with them because they both end up defeated anyway.

Sephiroth can summon that enormous meteor but Malenia fought the man keeping the stars in check to a stalemate and still left him crippled. Malenia has an Outer God backing her up with power, but Sephiroth has his own alien god mother backing him up with power.

Both of them also have the theme of refusing to just fucking die around them too, and I respect that.

Malenia has an incredible in-depth and tragic story with a strong connection to her brother and the horrors of her own existence.

Sephiroth has a shocking and tragic story with a deep connection to his mother and the horrors of his own existence.

One is a fallen hero turned into a villain, one is a fallen warrior with crumbling and desperate morals.

I only said Sephiroth was more terrifying than Malenia because he is vicious, unlike her. Malenia isn’t trying to burn all of humanity to death. She just wants to defend her brother as his champion. I’m not afraid of her as a villain or anything. I can see that she’s trying her best.

Sephiroth is brutal and cruel after he turns to the dark side and is meant to be terrifying as the enemy. He doesn’t have a cute little Millicent looking for him to restore his dignity. He’s completely isolate and moves like a prowling shark. That’s that.

BUT OVERALL THEY SHOULD BE FRIENDS AND GO TO THERAPY TOGETHER AND PEOPLE SHOULD STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT THEIR ABILITY TO TAKE ON OTHER CHARACTERS BASED ON INCONSISTENT VIDEO GAME MECHANICS AND JUST BECAUSE MALENIA KICKED EVERYONE’S ASS, GOING DOWN AS SOULSBORNE’S MOST DIFFICULT BOSS AND BECAUSE SEPHIROTH STOLE THE SPOTLIGHT IN SMASH BROS AFTER KILLING EVERYONE AND GIVING THEM PANIC ATTACKS SINCE 1997.

FUCK

Ok, I’m done.

Love you, anon—and yes, I love my stabby children and will defend them until I’m fucking dead <33

#i’m sorry anon—this wrath is mostly just my goofy reaction after watching two of my favorite characters being reduced to their… #…combat prowess? i guess? #I MEAN YEAH VIDEO GAMES AND POWER LEVELS YEAH #but i still don’t approach video games like mental and physical combat simulations #i am usually in it for the story and characters #and i find that countless analyses are either based off of game mechanics or they miss the point entirely #malenia is just “that sword bitch that killed me tons of times and cheated against radahn” #and sephiroth is just “that scary sword and arson anime villain with mommy issues that was in smash bros” #i must save them from The Gamers #—>>realizes that this is just me having a crisis over not liking gamer culture in general #oh #ANYWAY #asks #anonymous #silly post #malenia blade of miquella #sephiroth #ff7 #elden ring