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youngpettyqueen · 3 months

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Since you are asking for DS9 short fic requests, could you please do #6 “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” of the writing prompt list with some Julian Bashir whump? (But no character death please!) ❤️

you got it anon! and worry not, writing character death fics isnt really my thing, so no chance of me killing anybody <3

also since you didnt specify anybody else in the scene I decided to have Miles be there! hope that's ok I just have them on the brain

Miles wonders if this is how Julian feels every time a mission leaves him half-dead.

He can't stop pacing. Back and forth, back and forth, he's going to pace a ditch right through the cave floor at the rate he's going. He tried sitting and holding still, but that just made him feel like he was itchy under his skin, twitchy with nerves. So, pacing it is. Pacing and cursing how quiet it is.

Any other day he'd be grateful for the quiet. Today, though, he hates it. Because Julian isn't quiet, he isn't capable of being quiet, and right now he's dead silent.

Miles glances over. Julian is just as unconscious as he was last time he looked over, which was all of two minutes ago if he's being generous. Still and quiet, so goddamn quiet. He finds himself moving closer, just so he can make sure that Julian's chest is, in fact, still rising and falling.

And then he's kneeling down. He's checking the dressing over Julian's stomach. Again. He's not a doctor, he doesn't know what he would even be looking for here, but he's checking anyways. He can't help it. It makes him feel better.

The dressing is still clean. Miles is sure that's a good thing- that means he hasn't bled through it yet. Considering all he's had to work with is a dermal regenerator on the fritz and some bandages, he'd say that's pretty good. Sure, Julian might be able to save the entire station with less than that, but, well... Julian's the one who needs saving this time.

It was supposed to be a simple away mission. It's always supposed to be a simple away mission, really. They were delivering medical supplies to a Federation colony, helping them deal with a nasty outbreak of some sort of flu that Miles can't remember the name of. They were well on their way, spending the time arguing over who actually won their last game of darts, casual as can be.

And then they got shot down.

Miles didn't see who it was. Could've been Cardassians, could've been Maquis, could've been literally anybody this side of the Quadrant. All he knows is one second things were great, and the next his console was exploding and throwing him across the cockpit, and Julian was wrestling with the controls to aim them at the closest planet. He threw himself back into his seat and did his best to help, but there was no saving their landing. They crashed. Violently.

Miles woke up on the floor, bruised all over but still breathing. And Julian was hunched over the console, unmoving just like he is now. But there, he was awake. He was all-too awake, and he wasn't moving, because he'd been flung into the splintered console, and it was embedded deep in his gut.

He's never going to forget the sounds Julian let out as he pulled him off the console. It was a mercy he'd passed out right after, going limp and lifeless in Miles' arms the second he was free. Gave him a bloody heart attack, thinking for a brief second he'd just up and died, but it at least made it easy to gather Julian up in his arms and carry him out of the wreckage.

It's not a good situation. Their medical supplies was destroyed in the crash, and the medkit and all its contents were either damaged or broken beyond use. The dermal regenerator barely managed anything before it sparked out and nearly exploded in his hand. They've got a transmitter, at least, but it was damaged in the crash and he has to check it every few minutes to make sure it's still working.

And Julian won't wake up.

Miles' gaze travels up to Julian's face. Perfectly still, damn near peaceful, except there's a thin sheen across his forehead and he's pale under his skin. A pinch to his brows betrays the pain he's still in, even unconscious. The kit had one working hypo that he could find, and he'd given it to Julian without hesitation. He's not in the best shape himself, battered and bruised as he is, but that's all small potatoes compared to Julian.

It's probably a mercy that he's staying unconscious. Miles doesn't envy the pain he'd be in if he were awake. Still, there's a big, selfish part of him that wishes Julian was awake. Because then, at least, it wouldn't be quiet. He's never hated quiet before today. He'd be happy to never have to deal with complete silence ever again.

"I don't know if you can hear me," He says, mainly just to fill the space, "And I really hope you can't, because I'd never say this to you if you were awake, but... you're the best friend I've got, Julian. And I'm really not ready to let that end here," He admits, his voice quiet even though there's nobody else around, "Cause, y'know, we've got that holosuite reservation next week, and Quark won't consider your death grounds for a refund. And... I'd miss you, so there's that," God, this is hard. Julian's fucking unconscious and this is still so hard, "I'd... I'd really miss you, Julian, so... I guess what I'm saying is... you're not allowed to die," He reaches, like he's going to take Julian's hand, but comes up short, "You can't die. So, please don't. Die, that is." He ends up patting Julian's arm. It feels awkward and stiff, but anything else feels too much like he's saying goodbye, and he's really not trying to say goodbye right now.

"Is that..." Miles' head snaps up, and he finds himself meeting Julian's half-open eyes, "Is that... an order, Chief...?" He asks weakly, managing an obnoxious smile, even now.

"Oh, you bastard," Miles breathes, because yeah, of course Julian woke up in time to listen to that, "You right bastard. How much of that did you hear?" He asks.

Julian grins, blood painting his teeth. "Enough," He replies, like an asshole, "You'd... miss me?" He questions, looking far too smug for a man halfway to death.

"Absolutely not," Miles informs him, sniping purely out of habit and with no real heat behind his words, "But Keiko would miss you, and I hate to see Keiko upset, so I guess I need you to stay alive." He continues.

"How's it feel... knowing your wife would miss me?" Julian asks, still grinning like a smug clown.

"Don't push your luck, Julian," Miles tells him, with undeniable fondness, "It'd be far too easy to make it look like the crash killed you."

Julian croaks a laugh. And maybe this is the moment where Miles should say something heartfelt. Like how he actually would miss Julian, a whole hell of a lot. Or how glad he is that he's alive. Or how relieved he is to hear the sound of his voice. But Julian already knows those things, and spilling his heart out while Julian bleeds his guts out would feel way too much like they're having their final conversation. This banter, though, is familiar. It's them. And it lets him say we're going to get through this without actually saying it.

So, he doesn't say anything nice. Instead, he gets back into arguing about darts. Because then Julian is talking, and it isn't quiet anymore, and he can hide in the familiarity of their arguing and convince himself that everything's going to be ok.

(And it is. Miles has to kick the transmitter a few more times, but a rescue comes. Julian is fine, he won't even have a scar. And if Miles relents and begrudgingly admits, at last, that maybe Julian won their game, well... maybe that's his way of saying he's glad Julian's alright.)

#star trek: ds9 #fic bitching #miles o'brien #julian bashir #first time writing Miles! hoping I did a good job #I feel like I got him #but im not as confident in it as I was in Jadzia and Julian #figuring out how his internal dialogue sounds was tricky #but I had fun with it!#I hope you enjoy anon <3

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cardassiangf · 4 years

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okay actually let me just do the top three placements for the ds9 crew, okay? okay here we go! these are just for fun & also my interpretation. also i realize some arent human and therefore would have different placements entirely, but you know what? idc. (and no ezri since i havent seen enough of her to make a good guess sfdgfhjh sorry!)

julian i already said was a cancer sun virgo moon. workaholics who are kinda anxious but also full of love and affection, plus they also love to talk. for rising im kind of caught between aries and sagittarius, because they both in nicely with the top two. i am leaning more towards aries rising though for him. moves very fast to keep interest in things & is career minded. it’s kind of a combination that swings back and forth between this unflappable confidence (usually in the workplace) and a deep emotional vulnerability. also, they’re caregivers by nature. his childhood teddy bear was his ‘first patient,’ and that has to mean something. he also repeatedly shows himself to be drawn to people that might be in need of ‘fixing,’ and might not necessarily pull back until something shakes him out of it. julian is someone who buzzes with energy and feels so much at once it can be hard to reign in, but once he actually manages to do that, it’s almost unstoppable.

for sisko im feeling gemini sun and scorpio moon. okay yes two signs with a bad rep for some reason but hear me out: this person is extremely charming, confident & elegant except when they're Not, there's intense confidence and resolve that comes through. and on that intensity, we’ve all seen sisko when he gets serious about something--it’s a Lot. it’s a combo that can also be thrown off kilter and that’s not a great thing, but sisko has an excellent support system to ground him so you don’t see the negativity. he’s also a pisces rising. the same intensity comes out in love and emotional intelligence with him here, he’s definitely someone in touch with that side of himself and that’s very Water Sign of him. so basically loving, protective, the type of person people get drawn too for one reason or another but also there’s a chaotic side to him too, and he’s got a flair for the dramatic (his escapades in the mirrorverse come to mind when i think about this.)

jadzia... okay see my initial reaction is to just. fill her chart with fire. she’s a big personality on the surface, and extremely magnetic. but actually? leo sun pisces moon. okay yeah, a fire sign out from the gate but hear me out. there’s a lot of duality in jadzia, and while she outwardly shows a ton of confidence, she’s also pretty self reflective and i get the sense she much prefers to deal with her problems internally. like, people don’t really see much past her dazzling outside either, and as another leo sun, people do tend to write us off as a bit one dimensional at times. the known emotional sensitivity of the pisces mized with leo’s capacity to love is good for her i think. rising is a bit tricky, since jadzia also has dax to blend her personality with, but i think that virgo rising suits her well. for all of the fun she brings to the table, she also has a brilliant streak of practicality.

kira is another instinctively ‘oh, fire sign!’ person but actually? i think she has a ton of water in her chart. she’s emotional and passionate and so devoted to the things and people she believes in, and maybe she isn’t used to paying attention to her emotions because the occupation didn’t let her, but she feels so deeply. for this reason, pisces sun sagittarius moon scorpio rising. the thing about kira is that she might hold a lot of anger, but most of it stems from love and protectiveness. she’s incredibly blunt and adaptable, and definitely one of those pisces who doesn’t actually want to admit they have anything in common with the other water signs lmao. she’s at her best when she’s around people who can ground her and kind of make her pause to evaluate things before jumping into action and seriously values the bonds she makes with people. she also doesn’t really care for staying still or playing political mind games and would much prefer to just jump into the Doing phase of things.

quark is just. it took me a minute for him actually? idk he’s a bit of a weird one. for quark, he’s kind of dramatic and emotional but also has this wonderfully deviant side and, when it comes down to it, isn’t terrible at business negotiations at all. yes he has majorly fucked up some big opportunities, but also somehow has kept his bar running for what, 15? 20 years? through everything that’s happened on ds9. quark is a capricorn sun, but it’s balanced out (or in conflict with) his aquarius moon and leo rising. quark is weird, and kind of a dick sometimes, but when he’s not trying to be a menace, he actually has a pretty good heart. he’s a pretty creative thinker and constantly finds new ways to use practical knowledge to his advantage. but he also likes to ‘outshine’ others and keep the spotlight on himself, and he’ll lie and trample over people to do so. the fact that this combo makes him attentive can be a bit of a double-edged sword; sure, he can listen to people when he feels like it, but what’s going to happen with that knowledge? who knows. not quark until he finds an opportunity for it at least.

odo! does not technically have a birthday but who cares i love him so he’s here. yes, we will start obviously: virgo sun. what else would i go with. he’s a reserved person with a personality that errs on the side of uptight; very virgo stereotypical. but you know what else? aries moon. oh yes. odo walks into a room and as long as he wants you to know he’s there, you Will know. he’s bold in his own way, and extremely on top of details with intense attentiveness. of course there’s some fire in his chart, and probably a lot of it in other placements too. his gemini rising helps this out immensely, which is kinda surprising. but also when gemini is ascendant with virgo in sun, it makes them meticulous, fast learners. maybe a bit nitpicky at times, but nothing that can’t be helped with practice. i think the aries placement would also probably explain the underlying sensitivity, because like, it’s generally one of the louder signs of the zodiac but here’s a secret from anther fire sign: we are So sensitive oh my fucking god. we have a ton of ego and pride (and you can’t tell me odo doesn’t have moments of that) so typically unless we’re in a place we feel we can let go, you won’t see it, but jesus Fucking christ fire signs have a lot of emotion under the surface.

miles, who i just wanna lowkey take the piss out of and slap him with virgo/virgo/virgo but i will refrain lmao. no, for him, libra sun leo moon virgo rising. he’s extremely reliable, devoted to his work & friends & family even if he’s not the greatest at showing it? a bit emotionally constipated but he does try very hard and that’s why we love him. is it the placements or the fact that he’s an irish dad? who knows, but he’s very prone to just telling people things outright with nothing to cushion it. this can be good or bad, and seems to depend more on how well the other person knows him. his leo side makes him pretty warm when he’s comfortable, and i think his relationship with keiko actually paints him as a lowkey traditional romantic too. also, these placements make for really good parents, and we don’t see it as much as we see the jake/sisko father/son dynamic, but miles really does do his best for his kids.

worf my boy, who i have loved dearly since i first saw tng. hard to make a guess for him im 100% happy with though. im decently satisfied with taurus sun leo moon scorpio rising. worf is just like. he doesn’t have a really big personality but you also are very aware of him? i wouldn’t say he’s stoic by any means, he’s just very. focused. he’s honest and tries his best to look at situations from a more lawful standpoint, or at least, one that makes the most sense with his own honour code. he seems drawn to stability, but also finds himself drawn to people who challenge him too? he’s out here looking for something to balance him out and put things in perspective for him. whether or not he takes that into consideration is another thing entirely. and i say scorpio because, you know what they say, still water runs deep. you might know what he’s thinking because he told you, but you might not know how he Feels about it. actually, you probably will not. the leo doesn’t really make him want to be in the spotlight or anything, in his case i think it acts more like his driving force.

and listen. i know garak isn't crew. but i love him so he’s here and we’re all gonna like it. this chaotic little bastard spy is an aquarius sun pisces moon capricorn rising. garak is unique, and even if he doesn’t want to say it, he’s pretty ruled by his emotions too. he’s creative, and a grade-A manipulator who can charm his way just about anywhere (provided of course, the person in question isn’t someone who’s been warned about him, but even then, he has a good chance). he’s good a good, if not a bit Off, sense of humour and he comes off as someone who has a personal interest in the behaviour of people. not just a spy thing, but he’s invested--he does crave a certain intimacy and closeness which gets denied uh. most of his life actually. the capricorn read comes from how he’s been able to compartmentalize and commit acts of cruelty. an interrogation that was four hours of staring and not speaking is certainly creative. it’s also an insanely calculated and sadistic mind game for him. and it’s interesting to note that as much as he manipulates, he’s also very easily manipulated himself (see: Everything about tain jesus fuck i hate that man so much). he also runs into quite a bit of trouble when he’s not able to compartmentalize things any longer, whether it’s because the emotional toll is too high or he simply doesn’t see the point in the actions any longer.

#ds9 #star trek #star trek deep space 9 #long post #WHEW

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