#but it's like these people will go thru a whole fucking cow leg in one sitting and it's like

[irawhiti]

man this isn't exactly a hot take or anything but i fucking hate Food Challenge Youtubers. like watching a guy eat a literal month's worth of meat in one sitting to win $40 is like. fuck. we are in different fucking worlds here aren't we.

#like i'm getting extremely excited about a new plant showing up where i live so i can eat it #and i'm not saying that like it's a bad thing!! i'm really happy with foraging and hunting and stuff #but it's like these people will go thru a whole fucking cow leg in one sitting and it's like #what. the fuck #i buy grain for my birds that i can cook up myself if i need to. part of what i forage goes to garby for his leafy green intake #my pigeons provide fertiliser for the greens i currently grow to eat #part of the grain i eat gets chopped up and fed back to my pigeons in return #i get cuts and gashes and bites foraging for plants #and these people are like EPIC FOOD CHALLENGE I EAT A WHOLE COW IN 5 MINUTES MUST WATCH

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 6/6 (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: and it’s a wrap! for now anyway bc i totally dont have a fic coming based on the good news nicky had for jaida! i just want to say thank you to every single person who read, liked and reblogged this story. it means so much to me, i’m so glad people enjoyed the strange idea that came into my brain. <3 (also! i wanted to let you guys know that i’m planning on posting this fic on ao3 as well, probably after this chapter is posted on here. my username on there is drivingmecrazy !!)

crystal: does everyone’s spring break start this weekend too?? anyone doing anything??

jan!: mine does! i’m staying home all week, jackie is leaving me :(

nicky: my spring break isn’t until late april!! wtf :(

heidi: ha loser

heidi: i’m going to play animal crossing all weekend i can’t wait

Jackie: I’m going to Canada to visit family on Sunday. Jan, if you want we can hang out on Saturday if you’re going to miss me that much. :P

nicky: i’ll hang out with you jackie

jan: i hate you nicky

jaida: i have a pageant next week!!

jan!: yaas gorg

nicky: bring home the crown!

crystal: GO JAIDA!

nicky: also jaida call me. i have good news for you :)

gigi: crystal you already know what’s going down

crystal: do i now?

gigi: GOOD LUCK JAIDA!!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE OUR WINNER

Crystal had somewhat of an idea of what was going down. She had been granted permission to sleep over at Gigi’s house, and they would be going on their date the following day. Gigi would not tell Crystal anything about where they were going, and refused to give her any hints no matter how much Crystal begged. 

The next morning, on their walk to school, Crystal finally got a hint. 

“You tweeted about it. That’s all I’ll tell you.”

“That’s not helpful at all!” Crystal had almost 30 thousand tweets, her Twitter was her space to say weird things without being judged too harshly, and she had a lot of things to say! She thought about things she might’ve tweeted about wanting to do, or places she wanted to go, but came up empty handed.

“Well, you have the whole day to think about it. I’ll meet you after school, yeah?”

-

Gigi’s mom offered to pick them up after school, even though the walk from their school to Gigi’s house wasn’t far. Crystal finally met Nancy, Gigi’s beloved dog. Crystal didn’t want to do anything besides hold the dachshund to her chest all night, but Gigi wouldn’t let her, saying it wasn’t fair for Nancy to get all of the attention even though Gigi does the exact same thing with Tic Tac.

They made homemade pizza for dinner, and played monopoly with Gigi’s parents and her brother. Gigi’s brother thought Crystal was cute, and hit on Crystal; trying out a ridiculous pickup line on the green haired girl every chance he got. After they called off the game, Gigi excused her and Crystal to her room.

“So quick to leave, Georgina,” Crystal teased, sitting down next to Nancy who was using Gigi’s strawberry cow pillow pet as a headrest. 

“Wanna spend time with you. Can we cuddle?”

“Yeah, of course.”

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company until Gigi spoke up.

“I couldn’t do it.”

“Couldn’t do what?” Crystal asked, lost.

“Come out to my friends. I thought I was ready but obviously I’m not.”

“It’s okay, Gigi. You’ll know when it’s time, don’t rush it.”

“I just want to be more open, I guess.”

“That’s good, but it’s not going to happen overnight. You have to take baby steps, G.”

“Was it hard? To come out?”

“To who?” Crystal snorted, “You know I don’t have any friends. I’m pretty sure everyone at school already knows, though.”

“Does your mom know?”

“Probably. She got a little too suspicious when I started liking Poppy.”

This turned into revealing who their first gay crush was, and how and when they figured out they liked girls like the rest of their friends liked boys. Crystal told Gigi about how she originally tried to fake like One Direction so no one would suspect anything, and Gigi told Crystal about how she refused to listen to any music sung by female artists for half a year before they decided to go to sleep.

-

Crystal had woken up first. She didn’t bother waking up Gigi, going to scroll through Twitter instead. It was still early, but the group chat was on some bullshit, Jan changed her display name to Nicky and changed her profile picture to Nicky’s to mock her. Nicky did not find this funny in the slightest, but Jaida did.

nicky: i’m nicky i’m french i love stealing my friends gfs

jaida: omg period!

THE REAL nicky: JAIDA THAT’S NOT ME!!!

jaida: proof?

THE REAL nicky: I HATE IT HERE!!

nicky: croissant

crystal: HELPDGNJKFNJ

THE REAL nicky: i cannot stand jan. this is why jackie should date me instead

Crystal couldn’t stop laughing, which ended up waking Gigi up. Gigi was grumpy at first, but that changed when she realized they needed to get ready to go on the date she had planned.

After they had gotten up and dressed, they sat next to each other in front of the giant, floor length mirror next to Gigi’s closet to do their makeup. Gigi stopped doing her makeup after putting on her foundation, deciding that watching Crystal do her eye shadow was more entertaining than finishing the look she had in mind.

“Stop looking at me, you’re making me nervous!” Crystal giggled when she noticed Gigi’s stares, not actually wanting Gigi to stop.

“I’ll think about it,” Gigi paused, pretending to think, “I will not. You look beautiful.”

Crystal squawked, “I barely have anything on my face!”

“So?”

“What are you, gay or something?” Crystal teased, making Gigi poke at her sides, “Stop being a dork and finish your makeup!”

“Fine. Only because we need to get going soon.”

-

“Wait, you know how to drive?” Crystal asked, getting in the passenger seat.

“Yeah! I don’t have my own car yet, but I got my license on my 16th birthday. I am not enforcing the stereotype at all!” Gigi grinned, opening the garage door and starting her mom’s car.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Can I play music?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Gigi handed her the aux cord and started backing out of the driveway. 

“Okay. This is the ultimate test,” Crystal stated, starting to play a song. “Which One Direction song is this?”

The song in question was good, but Gigi didn’t recognize it. She had only listened to ‘Midnight Memories’ because it was Crystal’s favorite album, and she knew for sure Crystal wasn’t playing a song from that album. “Is it from ‘Made in the A.M’?”

“Trick question! It’s one of Niall’s solo songs. It’s called ‘Dear Patience’!” Crystal laughed, thinking she had pulled off the biggest prank in the world.

“Oh, fuck. I should’ve known there was only one person singing.”

After fifteen minutes of driving, and Gigi almost running a stop sign, they finally pulled up at a cute little thrift shop on the outskirts of town, and Crystal was just about shaking with excitement. “I love thrifting! I’ve only been once, but it was so fun! I found that jumpsuit I wore that one day while thrifting!” She rambles, rushing to get out of the car and inside.

“Wait, when I did tweet about this?”

Around the time they had first started talking, Crystal had tweeted about how her dream date was going thrifting. Gigi naturally stored this information in the back of her mind, even though at the time she never thought she would need it.

On their walk from the parking lot to the store, Crystal held her hand out, which Gigi hesitantly accepted.

“We should play a game! We should split up and pick out an outfit for the other person without them knowing and then meet up and try them on!” 

Gigi’s heart swelled, Crystal was so cute. “That sounds fun, but how do I know this isn’t just a trick to dress me up in something hideous?” Gigi teased, making Crystal blush.

“I would never, don’t be ridiculous,” Crystal scoffed, “I’ll save that for the next time we go thrifting!”

Crystal let go of Gigi’s hand to open the door for her, splitting up as soon as they walked into the shop.

It didn’t take them very long to pick out their pieces. Crystal stayed true to her word, picking out a light green, halter top dress for Gigi. Gigi, on the other hand, had picked out a hideous pair of neon pink, zebra print leggings and a red flannel shirt.

“Gigi, what is that?” Crystal scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“You like patterns, why not clash them?” Gigi tried to defend herself, but could barely finish her sentence before bursting out laughing.

“No! I’m not getting that! I’m not even going to try on that outfit. It’s yucky.”

“That’s fine, give me the dress you picked out for me. I need that.” Gigi snatched it from Crystal’s hands, walking quickly to the dressing room.

The dress looked gorgeous on Gigi. Crystal was so glad she took their game seriously. 

They looked around together for a little bit before wandering from each other yet again. Gigi somehow ended up with a pile of clothes that you would only see in a very successful thrifting haul video on YouTube. Crystal had stuck to the men’s section, immediately claiming some loud button ups and with a little digging, she found a very specific, out of place t-shirt that said something about how ‘real grandmas drink Dr. Pepper’ that she found hilarious and needed to own.

“What does that say? Some grandmas play bingo, real grandmas drink Dr. Pepper?” Gigi questioned when they finally met back up, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, but it’s sending me. I need it!”

“So you hated my outfit I got for you, but you’re buying that?” Gigi teased.

“You do not understand the art of highly specific shirts, like these, babe. I’ll have to teach you all about them later.”

Gigi thought Crystal was an idiot, but she couldn’t stop smiling.

-

After paying for their clothes, they got back into the car. Gigi started driving, not telling Crystal where their next stop was. The stop happened to be the Taco Bell drive thru, which Crystal was excited about. “Okay, I do remember tweeting about wanting to go to Taco Bell.” 

When they got their food, Gigi placed the bag in the back seat, making Crystal raise an eyebrow. 

“You’re a messy eater, so we aren’t eating in the car. My mom would kill me if we made a mess.”

While Crystal tried to convince Gigi she was not a messy eater and her mom’s car would be fine, Gigi pulled up to a park.

“Can you find a spot to sit down at so we can eat it there?” Gigi requested. It took Crystal about two seconds to travel from the car to the grass, settling down in a shady spot underneath some trees. Gigi joined Crystal, holding a blue blanket as well as the brown paper bag.

“It’s not a picnic blanket, I couldn’t find one but I hope it works.”

“It does! I love picnics!” Crystal hops up so Gigi can lay down the blanket, going to retrieve the drinks that they forgot in the car. 

Their lunch was filled with flirting, stupid inside jokes and Crystal loved every second of it. She knew for sure by the end of the day she would not be single anymore, but the lack of confirmation was making her antsy.

Once they were done eating, Gigi collected all of the wrappers and cups, walking across the grass to the nearest trash can to dispose of them. When Gigi came back, she had a huge grin on her face, “Well, Crystal Elizabeth. I would like to think that I successfully wooed you, if only you could do something for me in return…”

“What do you have in mind, Georgina?” Crystal giggles, hoping Gigi couldn’t tell how nervous that statement made her.

“Crystal Elizabeth, I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?” 

“God, yes. I’ve been waiting for this for months.” Crystal exclaimed, immediately being pulled into a kiss.

They stayed at the park after that. Crystal’s inner child had jumped out after the kiss was broken and she wanted to play on the playground. 

“Wait, Crystal! Come here, the light looks good right now and we need to take our reveal selfie!”

-

Their date came to an end when Crystal’s mom texted her asking to come home. Crystal’s mom had no idea what she was interrupting, as Crystal did not tell her mom what they were actually doing.

“I hate it here, I would let this date go on all week if I could.” Crystal pouted, buckling her seatbelt.

“If there’s any other place you want to go this week, we could go on our second date.” Gigi smiled, reaching out to hold Crystal’s hand.

“Be careful, I know steering with one hand is peak lesbianism, but I don’t know if you’re a good enough driver to do that yet.” Crystal joked, even though she gladly accepted Gigi’s hand.

“Oh, shut up. Like you could go ten minutes without holding my hand.”

Crystal kissed Gigi again when they got on her street, Gigi parking a few houses down for privacy.

“This was fun. I really am happy with everything. You completely wooed me, Georgina.”

“I’m glad. Does this mean I can call you my clown girlfriend now?” Gigi jokingly asked, making Crystal let out a tiny scream.

“As dumb as that sounds, yes. You can.”

Gigi did not let Crystal get out of the car without getting another kiss.

-

Crystal entered her house, her grin slowly fading when she saw her mom waiting for her.

“You took a while to come home.” Crystal’s mom started, under the impression she was at Gigi’s house. “What took you so long?”

“Yeah, sorry. I couldn’t find my charger.” Crystal felt bad for lying to her mom, but she didn’t want to tell her what happened yet.

“Oh, your generation and your phones. I was starting to get worried.”

“Mama, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’m going to my room now, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m about to start dinner. We’re having your favorite!”

The second Crystal got into her room, she locked her door and jumped on her bed, logging onto Twitter.

crystal: good evening l a d i e s

jan!: HEY!

jaida: crystal!

Jackie: You haven’t been active today, what were you up to?

heidi: not jackie demanding answers

nicky: ooooh

gigi: well, since you asked…

crystal: :D

gigi: my girlfriend crystal and i went on our first date today. isn’t she beautiful??

The group erupted into chaos the second they saw their selfie, congratulating the new couple for finally getting together. Crystal wouldn’t have it any other way. She would be forever grateful for being added into Elites Only, and even more for the special girl she had met there.

gigi: so, any ideas for our second date?

crystal: tons, babe. i’m gonna blow your mind.

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jackie cox #jan sport #jaida essence hall #heidi n closet #crygi #lesbian au #high school au #social media au #girl i met on the internet #strawberry #submission #s12

[pandxras-blog]

                 hello friends !! it’s ya girl moose again back at it !! this is panda !! she is......kind of a 2.0 of one of my other characters ?? slightly tweaked but still my fave gal deep down in my heart. as always i wanna plot w/ u all so LIKE THIS and i’ll come to u or HMU !!

she grew up in a small town in wisconsin where her parents owned a farm. they mostly had animals (cows, goats, chickens, and sheep) and rented out their farmland to other ppl.

she was an only child so.......she always kind of had to make due by herself. she’d hang out w the animals all day and she usually kept herself busy drawing or readin

the relationship between her parents had always been kinda rocky. she was the product of an unplanned teen pregnancy and it was clear they only rly stayed together bc.....they had to???

they were mostly just together for panda u know. but at some point her dad started seeing another woman lowkey behind everyone’s backs, but like…everyone kind of knew tbh bc.....the town is so small like everyone knows ur business.

panda was oblivious to it all tho, she likes to see the best in people. she loved her dad so much and thought of him very highly. he’s he dad after all!!!! her hero!!!!!!!

when she was 12, her dad just split one day while she was away at school and she came home to an empty house. he’d left to start his new life with his new girlfriend in the city without a word. he only left a pile of old sweaters (which panda kept & wears). a few weeks later some divorce papers came in the mail for her mom & that was that

for a few months, panda was the one that had to pick up the pieces. her mom wouldn’t get out of bed or get any work done or cook or clean or do laundry or do anything so it all fell on panda. she’d make breakfast and dinner for her & her mom and make herself lunch for school. she’d do the laundry and make sure her mom was fed and make sure the animals were fed & she barely had any time for herself.

it was around this time that her uncle and cousin noah came to stay a little while and visit, but ended up moving in permanently to help them around the house and help panda pick up the pieces & panda was kind of able to be a kid again, but.......also not really

pandora was always a kind of quiet and sensitive kid and she always got picked on at school for being a little weird, but after the whole family drama scandal it really only got worse? so she became really reclusive and didn’t do much other than go to school and go home and work on the farm, like she did before. honestly......this was just like her life now rip. she didn’t really have that many friends, but she found a lot of comfort in hanging out w the animals at home

and she also ended up growing a strong bond with her cousin because he was a bit of a black sheep himself. they’d just kind of chill w the animals together and just talk for hours. of course she loved her brother too, but he was like…..a lot cooler than her, so it was harder to relate u know

she also got really into art as a kid. she found it really helped her bc she couldn’t always express herself thru words, but she could always express herself thru art

honestly she’s just spend hours sitting around with the cows n noah, doing her homework and working on her art

the kinda gal that literally.....was constantly doodling ?? like always came home w pen on her legs and her notebooks were filled with little drawings in the margins & stuff u know the type

another thing that she’s always been into is like..........horror & gore & macabre shit ig ?? a lot of her doodles turned into her like designing these like monsters & creatures & it was a little unnerving when her mom found her drawings because like wtf ??? but....she has a very vivid imagination & a lot of ideas.

she joined her town’s theatre production when she was 15 & worked backstage designing & making costumes & doing makeup and was like wow...........this is dope ???? let me do this forever thx

the original plan her & her mother had discusses for her future was that she would go to school to become a vet so she could still help out around the farm, but....she wanted to make a future out of her art??? she wanted to make films and show what she could do with special effect bc.....she’s so passionate about it. she decided that like…the small town life wasn’t for her, she didn’t like everybody knowing her business and all that

and it was like….she wanted to get out asap ?? she just kind of needed a breather too and like…..a change. she wanted to start over, i guess.

she mom didn’t really believe that she could do it ?? like “oh that’s nice sweetie but that’s not a job” & also like she said explicitly at times that her work wouldn’t rly be good enough to make a career out of which was v upsetting. she lowkey believed it but she was destined to prove her mom wrong

so she was like ok !!!!! i’m gonna go to school pce out fam. but she had to take a year off after graduation to like....save money bc she didn’t know if she’d be able to get scholarships

she ended up getting accepted to princeton & she probably cried for a week straight. she’s doesn’t rly come from a lot of money so she needs student aid and she puts pretty much all of her savings into school

so here she is......w a double major of fine arts major & fum bc she REALLY wants to do special effects makeup & character design and make films ig !!!!

ew that was bad but now let me talk about her personality ok

she’s very........pure. she’s an innocent soul who really...couldn’t hurt a fly, even if she wanted to

tho she does lowkey because she’s fucking stupid just not on purpose

she’s naive, and blindly optimistic & overly sweet, almost completely inexperienced with relationships & definitely 100% a virgin

and she’s unassuming and always likes to see the best in people

also tbh…..she’s too trusting. just wants everyone to be happy n eat cake together

very easy to manipulate. will do anything to have ppl like her..........she just wants to have friends and b cool !!!!!!!!!

she has so many feelings !!! but she hides them all ?? or tries to, at least. she definitely avoids talking about her problems because she doesn’t want to burden anyone

she’s very oblivious to flirtation, like she just….does not understand it at all she’s so awkward?

as i said, totally inexperienced when it comes anything romantic at all…….she’s my bi queen but this bitch doesn’t know how to flirt

she gets so flustered and nervous around attractive people i swear to god she’s like giddy 99% of the time she’s a mess

panda is truly….too soft for the world. she’s constantly worrying about what people think of her and she cries so easily like….if anyone says anything mean to her she’ll just breakdown. she needs to harden up tbh……..she straight up cries @ everything its….fucking laME

she’s 100% art hoe tho, like…..she’s always doodling and she’s always got little pen doodles on her thighs n such. bitch always has paint on her hands & under her fingernails prob lil nasty

really knows how to BEAT a face tho but she’s too lazy to do it to herself everyday but pls........let her do ur makeup she’d cry & love u

because she’s so soft she can be like dumb ??? lacks a lot of common sense tbh she’s just....always got her head in the clouds. she will literally trust anyone and honestly..........................if she doesn’t smarten up she’s gonna get killed i swear

luvs bugs & thinks they’re real cool

riddled w anxiety and major self image issues !!!!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey hates herself rip

meme queen. spends hours a day looking at them tbh. she’s always looking at her phone and laughing to herself she’s lame as fuck tbh. she is a meme.

her favorite color is yellow & she makes a lot of movie references & she sux and i hate her

she got long goils !! but...here are some lil wcs if u are interested !!

best friend ofc !!!

sibling-like relationship

a confidant 

sum art hoe friends

flirtationship kinda thing??? she prob tries but fails miserably

a model!!! someone she can......practice her makeup on

a bad influence/good influence type thing

someone she thinks is cool and rly wants 2 impress???

again......anything & everything :’)

#gogreek:intro #this prob won't show in the tags but yolo #also.........i am again going 2 bed but i will b mobile #why do i always have muse when im tryna sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!