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lunaetis · 2 months

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following the post i made about eden's changes in demeanor and personality, i want to write out what are the factors that contributed to this change. so i'm going to dissect her personality and development from the beginning and how she is at each point in time ( at least the major ones ) to paint a clearer picture. it's going to be a very long read, so i'll put it under a read more.

awakening - eden was awakened by having the stellaron infused into her. her personality was blank. she was a blank canvas. her first exposure was kafka. we know kafka used her spirit whisper to influence eden's actions and decisions after this but we saw eden show attachment towards her. i'd like to think that it came from her body remembering things her mind no longer did. we learned from kafka later on that she wiped eden's memory, but that process was still fresh, so while her mind did not remember, her body did. she reached out to kafka. to the only one she still had attachment to. after that, her second awakening left her at a blank state.

astral express / herta space station - the next exposure are the astral express and people within herta space station. during this time, eden was shown to be majorly expressionless. she was stoic, barely showed any emotions on her face. she was still learning about the world, about the people, about emotions. we saw her slowly becoming more animated, but she was extremely quiet and instinctual. all in all, this period of time had eden exposed to positive influence. this was why eden started off trusting. she saw people of the astral express helping others, and later on they accepted her as one of their own despite knowing nothing about her. this was a major positive influence to her. her personality was a curious one. she wanted to see and know everything.

jarilo-vi / belobog - this was where we saw the astral express' influence on eden quite clearly. while eden was still rather quiet and not expressive, we saw her slowly opening up. she was adapting what the astral express had taught her. to trust others, and to help others. people she met on jarilo-vi also influenced the same thinking and strengthen it. she felt accepted when she helped others. she felt that trusting others is the right thing to do. this was her decision to do it, to help people, to make sure they're free. and it paid off to have faith and trust in people even though she just met them. she started to gain more personality to be more blunt, forward, and honest. to speak her mind, and see the good in people. she was akin to a cheerful, hopeful puppy, if you will.

xianzhou luofu - this was where things started to get real. the events in xianzhou luofu exposed eden to many kinds of people. you still saw her employing the same mentality of wanting to help others as much as possible. accompanied by welt and march really encouraged her to do that. what shook her belief was when kafka revealed the truth that everything that was happening was planned from the beginning. this was the first seed of doubt in eden's mind. this was when she started to question EVERYTHING up to this point. what she believed to have been her decision was all lies. everything was orchestrated to achieve the best possible future. elio had foreseen everything, she was simply walking a path prepped for her. from this point on, eden developed an insecurity about herself, her identity, and her purposes. it was her first exposure to deception and lies.

simulated universe / ruan mei's story quest - i'm going to group her exposure to herta space station into one section because they're all related. so, eden was recruited by herta to help test simulated universe in order to learn more about aeons. she agreed to do so because it was interesting and eden herself also wanted to learn more about aeons as well. herta and screwllum were also quite pleasant to be around. however, when she met ruan mei for the first time, the fact that she wasn't given a full information on what she would be facing, how she had to go down there alone, and to face a kind of danger that if it weren't for the creation disappearing on its own, she might not have made it out safely. for my eden, at least, that was another turning point where she felt used and manipulated. she was lied to in order to get results. the trust and faith she had been placing in people were starting to backfire.

penacony - and here we are, the triggering event to the change. eden was already treading the thin line of the concept of trust. up to this point, she had always been honest with her words, with her demeanor, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and being optimistic, being helpful, being hopeful. once again, that trust backfired greatly in more ways than one. the attachment she developed for firefly was, as i mentioned before, born from the fact that it was the first time that she felt normal. it was the first time she felt like she was bonding with someone without being influenced by the knowledge of her as the stellaron vessel. so it was a strong attachment because she felt like she had connected to someone as eden. losing firefly triggered her disassociation to reality for a moment, and the events that followed as she was told that everything was, once again, a game set by multiple parties and she ( along with the astral express members ) were pieces of the puzzle. now, they must learn the truth. the details were hazy for eden after witnessing firefly's death because ... lies. once again, lies and deception and manipulation. it never ends. and she felt like she couldn't trust anyone on penacony. at all. at this point, eden was proven by the loss of someone she grew attached to at her core, that trusting others blindly was a grave mistake. she cannot, and should not place her trust in people like that any longer, or else she would be used. like she had been multiple times before.

she had been so naïve to think that she could protect those she cared for if she tried hard enough. that as the vessel for the stellaron, she had the power to keep those she cared for safe. that illusion was shattered by witnessing death not once, but twice right before her eyes ( firefly and robin. ) it wasn't enough. she wasn't enough. the stellaron wasn't enough. faith, and trust, and hope, were nowhere near enough.

and it triggered the change as defense mechanism. i mentioned this before in the previous post, that her mind had decided to adopt the change in order to keep going. the journey was barely beginning. she knew she still had a long way to go, and being carefree and trusting aren't going to cut it anymore. she has to be more careful. she has to change. she has to grow up. to think more. to observe more. to watch her words. to know when to lie and when to not. to know how to protect herself in order to protect others. and to protect herself, she had to keep distance. she had to be more analytical. she cannot be driven by pure emotions anymore.

this change, of course, is still something that is subjected to change as story progresses. but with the exposures and experience she had up to this point, this was something eden felt she had to do to keep herself sane enough to go on without breaking. and, i also want to point out that the rare times the astral express weren't with her ( simulated universe / ruan mei's quest / penacony ) were the time that eden got hit by negative influence and viewpoint. i say penacony because they were separated and eden basically went through the events mostly by herself. basically, i want to say that the astral express is the one major positive influence and a sort of anchor for eden. without them, she's prone to spiral down a more negative path and development.

there are, of course, many other side quests, companion quests, and stories that could be included but i'm picking the trailblaze / main story quests as the main influences and exposures that eden had gone through. this is my own interpretation and how i choose to write eden, my trailblazer. it doesn't reflect what we see of the trailblazer in canon and only my own version of her.

if you make it this far and read everything, I LOVE YOU AND I APPLAUD YOUR PATIENCE for going through that ramble. thank you for tolerating my wall of china text on the ( traumatized™ ) space raccoon !

#.headcanon: eden | trailblazer #[ tHIS IS SO LONG OMFG #ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READ THRU EVERYTHING LET ME LOVE YOU FOREVER ???#also this is subjected to change aND I MIGHT REWRITE / REPHRASE SOME PARTS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE #but this is my interpretation and how i arrive to be writing eden as she is now #i know i'll be refining it later after i let it sit for a while but still #sRSLY IF YOU READ ALL OF IT THANK YOU ???? I OWE YOU MY LIFE ]

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dearly-beeloved · 1 month

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S/Is and AUs Info Post

Additional information on Self Inserts/OCs and some AUs

Aedin Ceallaigh: Aedin was born and grew up in the Springvale area of Mondstadt. In her mid-20’s, through the influence of the Oceanid in the spring, she suddenly had a calling to head west toward Liyue. When she passed through Stone Gate and Dihua Marsh, she spotted a Statue of the Seven–the first depiction of Morax she saw. Driven with her new affection for the Geo Archon and having heard the news of the special event coming up, she kept onward to reach Liyue Harbor, just in time for the Rite of Descension (and all that entailed). Through spending time with Zhongli and generally around Liyue, she met Baizhu and Qiqi, quickly becoming closely bonded with them.

Coventina Almer/Kamisato: The daughter of a very comfortable merchant, Coventina spent more of her life in the city of Mondstadt, but she’s also spent plenty of seasons in Springvale, which is how she met and befriended Aedin. She’s got a good heart but has a less restrictive filter on her mouth than someone in her position should XD Shipped with Ayato (Coventina Kamisato): after Inazuma opened, she traveled there to see its sights. While there, she ended up inadvertently crashing a party hosted by the Kamisato siblings. While Ayaka was confused how Coventina got there, she wasn’t upset and didn’t throw her out. It was nice to have someone her own age around who didn’t know her reputation, so Ayaka liked Coventina. More than that, she thought Coventina would be a good match for Ayato. She was right! Shipped with Pantalone: while it would be funny to say she was a pretty trinket in the hotel when it was rented out and therefore the Fatui are renting her, a mistake in a business deal had her included in its manifest and rather than start a fight about what the Fatui deserved to have, she simply agreed to go to Snezhnaya. Luckily, she has many skills desirable in a wife or secretary and Pantalone took a liking to her. He takes very good care of her. She keeps her surname, but everyone knows whose wife she is c;

Litavis Byrne: (Leet-uh-vees). She spent some time studying at the Akademiya, but before she finished, conditions at the Akademiya became untenable, and she left with her family to a place outside Aaru Village, where they’re independently studying the desert conditions. She’s something of a desert biologist, but also likes helping Cyno be able to actually call himself an adventurer. She met Candace soon after her move to the desert, but they danced around the mutual attraction until around the time Cyno started showing interest in Litavis. Then, Candace confessed, and Litavis said “if you’re okay with sharing me with Cyno, then I’ll happily date you as well.” Litavis is usually found peeling and cutting fruits for Candace or sitting on Cyno’s lap while he plays Genius Invokation. If not that, she’s actually working for once c;

Capucine Majus: A book reviewer for the Steambird, with a particular taste for detective stories. She’s a lover of quality coffee, comfortable furniture, and the Chief Justice of Fontaine. Since she arrived in the Court of Fontaine (from the Belleau Region where her parents still live), she has been very fond of the Melusines, and that’s only grown since she has become romantically involved with the father figure of all of them. She can be found in his office at the Palais Mermonia around lunchtime, usually relaxing on Neuvillette’s couch with her boots neatly set on the ground and her feet tucked under her, reading to him from a novel, or reading silently to herself if he needs to work in quiet.

Carina Fornax: Answers to Carina or Ms. Fornax, but not “Mrs. Yang”. A proofreader/editor of scientific papers, and recently accepted the role of part-time manager of the Belobog museum (Pela asked her very nicely and she couldn’t say no). Any time she’s not doing tasks like that, picking up her mail, or doing tourist-y things, she’s on the Express, trying to be generally helpful to the other Nameless (usually by washing cups, vacuuming, and having band-aids and a sewing kit on her).

Pearl: is an assumed name, after the pearl choker she wears, though most people would assume it's the other way around. She jokingly calls herself a gambler's floozy because a lot of the time Aventurine spends on a casino's floor, she's hanging off his arm. She's there for luck (mostly observation of the table--you'd be surprised what you can get away with whispering when people think you're just biting your lover's earlobe), and she's a pretty good player of pool (especially pool), dice, and cards in her own right, too.

Etien Varlineau-Borel (nee Mellifer): Born in Alder Springs in the Black Shroud, Etien has lived a life where she’s always faced trials. At the age of nineteen, after a string of losses and relationships gone irreparable, she left her home and stowed away on a trade wagon (also carrying the Leveilleur twins) on its way into New Gridania, where she promptly was sucked into adventuring and petty politics, and then made a Scion. Her life started changing for the better when she entered Ishgard at the age of 22–more losses and trials of a greater and more painful scale were still to come, but now she had a family (and something close enough to a home) to return to. At the age of 29, after a long 10 years serving the star, she packed up her life up to that point and moved her family– three spouses and two children–to the Island of Saria, off the coast of Ilsabard.

Miel Lux: Miel was friends with Prompto from a young age because her mother worked with Cor Leonis. The day of the fall of Insomnia, she skipped her classes at the royal university, and that’s the only reason she survived those events–she was out of the city. After the loss of her parents that day, she and her cousin Acheta moved out to Hammerhead, where she started working as waitress and a daemon hunter. Just before Noctis’ return, Miel and Prompto were reunited by chance, and quickly entered the relationship that they’d put on hold for ten years at that point.

Potentilla: Gleaner for Old Sharlayan for several decades now, she specializes in botany. She’s also been with Erenville about as long.

Genevieve Mirage: retired from her magic show performing in Vegas after her Embrace, now taken up with the LA Anarchs in an attempt to clean the city up and back into a Free State, with Maximillian Strauss as the interim acting Prince to assuage the Camarilla’s fears. Also casually dating Nines.

Cricket McGill: helper to the cleaners near Finleyville, friends with Holly. Markswoman and clean water specialist (her canon is based on an L4D2/B4B AU where Holly is the sister of Ellis’ friend Keith, which is how Cricket and Holly met and became friends)

Etienne, Queen of the Zora: grew up as a radish farmer’s daughter in Kakariko Village. She was brought to Zora’s Domain by Link as a distraction from her daily life, and as she and Prince Sidon fell in love, she started visiting on her own more often, eventually running away to live with him in the Domain permanently. About five years after the birth of her and Sidon's children (Pearl, Lotus, and Etora), Etienne elected to enter cryosleep in a Resurrection Bed so she could live long enough to see her children grow up. While she was sleeping, however, Zora's Domain needed a queen and the children needed a caretaker when Sidon was busy. Yona was selected as someone who was close with Sidon and could fit both roles: a complement to Etienne, not her replacement.

Pink Tourmaline/PT: She was a courier between the Diamonds’ Courts, carrying messages between the different groups. One day when she was delivering a message to the Engineering section of Yellow Diamond’s court, she met a Peridot technician (Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG) and quickly developed a crush. When Peridot got stuck on Earth, Pink Tourmaline stowed away on the Ruby Squad ship to try to meet up with Peridot again. She succeeded, and now Peridot and PT spend time around Little Homeworld and Beach City (including double dates with Spinel and Lepidolite)

Apolline: A traffic controller on Coruscant. She met Kit by chance, and they just kept meeting on their ways to doing daily tasks. Proximity breeds familiarity and that led to both of them taking a romantic interest in each other. Apolline tried to hide it, but Kit could sense her feelings. He was worried he’d hurt her somehow, and was relieved when it was just that she was hurt from assuming he didn’t like her back–but he does. She was the last person he saw before he stormed the Chancellor’s office.

Undertale/Deltarune Bee (UT!Bee): Owing to the fact that the Barrier came down right before UT!Bee finished college, she quickly found a position post-graduation working in the Underground as a terato-anthropologist; that is, studying the culture and customs of the monster population of the Underground. Since she’s a Scientist™, she was assigned office space in Alphys’s lab, and it’s working there that facilitated her meeting Mettaton. She was a casual fan of his, but looked past the glamorous star of the Underground to the robot within, and they fell in love. Deltarune Version: Bee is a tutor at the Librarby who’s dating Happstablook. They have a special knock for when she comes to his door, so he knows it’s her. She’s looking private-detective-style for the flash drive that has Happstablook’s MS Paint art of the body he wants.

League of Legends Bee (lolBee): (Beezreal--Heartsteel Universe) As a content writer for a marketing firm, Bee was tasked with writing an article about up-and-coming band Heartsteel. She met the job with her usual passion and humor; the article was so good that the label poached her out from her job to work for them directly. Under her professional name, she writes for the band’s official blog/public-facing writing. Off the clock and under a nickname, she runs the fan-blog Arrhythmia (“because I’m not a regular Heartbeat”) where her proximity to the action allows her to vet the fans’ questions before she presents them to the boys. She’s considered an excellent source for Heartsteel information because of this, but is known to be pretty cagey about certain topics, especially after the Couple’s Bracelet Media Frenzy. (TempBeestra--see @/kylars-princess's piece "Origins", as "the Bee AU" is an AU of that) further details incoming, but in essence, Bee is the wife of Tempestra and mother to Rowena. This is true as well in the universe in which Tempestra works for TOSA and is the supervisor of Violet and Aiden. A lot of the ship discussion has taken place in me and Nick going back and forth here on tumblr and is recorded in my tag for them, Tempest in a Teacup.

Countess B. “Bee” Asplund (CG!Bee): Was sent to Japan/Area 11 for her post-secondary schooling, and in her time there, met the Camelot team, namely Lloyd Asplund. She took an immediate interest in him, but was discouraged from pursuing him by his commitment to his work, seemingly to the exclusion of relationships. But she quickly found that wasn’t nearly as true as he made it out to be, and when his engagement to Milly Ashford was broken off, Bee made her move. He likes her company, he accepted her advances and proposed. They were married in an elopement after her graduation from university. She’s a writer, but mostly lives on nobility money (she is a countess now, after all). People think she’s kind of a freak for loving Lloyd, but they’re a happy union of Science and the Humanities.

FFVII!Bee: grew up in Nibelheim, but was not friends with the other children; they didn’t like her (for the usual reasons kids like to bully other kids :/). She took an interest in Cloud; however, he didn’t really notice her. Sometimes he talked to her, though. She overheard the dialogue between Cloud and Tifa before Cloud left for Midgar, and when she ended up in Midgar herself, tracked down Tifa to work at 7th Heaven. When AVALANCHE goes around more of Gaia to take down Shinra and find Sephiroth, Bee starts traveling around to semi-secure locations to send supplies and information, and when she’s in Midgar, watches Marlene.

SeeD!Bee: See SeeD AU entry. SeeD!Bee helps Squall run Balamb Garden; they both take missions together and separately. She’s a bow specialist and trying to study Guardian Forces.

Biela: kind of a burnout/flop (she finished college but lost the job she got afterward) but has her shit together…ish. When she bought her ticket to Redline, she was contacted by Trava to be the social media manager for Team Speedmaster. She accepted, went to meet him and Shinkai at the Spaceport, and was hired on the spot. She grew their following pretty quickly, and then live-blogged the race. the Biela and Boya version of the universe TBA.

Melisande: Aihi’s assistant, usually in a washing lab coats and glassware way, but she also organizes her notes, and asks good questions to help Aihi maintain progress on her research and development. She drools psychoactive honey and buzzes/generates heat when she's upset.

Desdemona Wolf: an English Major with a concentration in linguistics and poetry. She was on a girls’ trip with her friends back to the college campus to celebrate their degrees and her dumping her college boyfriend when she met Coriolanus “Corey” St. James. He took her back to his hotel room and Embraced her. In her first few months of undeath in the Los Angeles area, she helped oust Sebastian LaCroix as Prince of LA, and started a relationship with both Velvet Velour of Vesuvius and Beckett, nomadic seeker of the Book of Nod. She left LA with him, going from city to city working as a Private Preternatural Investigator, but visits Velvet in LA often.

Reinette: Kind of a stay-at-home girlfriend to Suki. Reinette does do work from home consulting, but that’s only part-time. She spends most of her days painting birdhouses, doing yoga, and running errands for Suki.

AUs:

The SeeD AU: the SeeD training program is mostly the same as in FFVIII, but now they don’t graduate into working in the field until they’re adults, and teams are made up of two senior SeeDs and two junior SeeDs. Squall has become a director of Balamb Garden as well as leading his own team.

The XiaoDae Childhood Friends AU: Dae's AU. pretty much what it says on the tin, but also features the adeptus Grass Keeper/Leraje in the place of Aedin (though in the era of the Traveler, Leraje will choose the name Aedin for her mortal disguise).

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