#cause I sure as hell won't fight for another decade for anything that excites me

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

I think visual kei is the longest obsession I’ve ever had. It took me 11 years to finally be chill about it. xD I’ve reached a point that I don’t care much about the scene, never seeing them live, missing releases like...this year I’ve managed to slowly detach.

Ever since I was a little girl, my favorite musicians were my life. They gave me a voice, a purpose and a dream. I wasn’t a casual listener, I was the kind of girl who needed to see them as much as possible, listen to music like 6 hours a day, if not more, my walls were always full of pictures of them, I always talked about them...they were my life. And even after getting into visual kei, I didn’t drop any of my previous favorites, I just wasn’t as focused on them as before. With previous artists I felt my enthusiasm was fullfilling and healthy, an energy boost, an inspiration, a place where I felt understood. It was sth I loved, people I loved etc. (and if you are one of those who think you have to know sb very well to love them, get the fuck out of my blog, I know what I felt and if a person can hate sb at first sight, they can love at first sight too. Yes maybe what I loved was 90% illusion, but I believe 10% was actually real cause, no matter how much a person likes to appear perfect and always friendly etc, cracks will always be there). Anyway visual kei felt like more than that to the point I really thought it was destiny to actually work with them (cause I’ve always wanted to work with my favorite artists, I just switched from wanting to go to the USA to Japan after a while being a fan). And you know what, it was fun as long as it lasted. It took me out of the dark, pulled blades away from my wrists, it kept me sane, lead to writing 2 and a half books, it lead to finally getting my hands on photoshop and honestly becoming a better person. But yeah those things aside, I realized that the goal-part was another lie I built to feel I belonged. In reality, it was another lesson in life which, once I got it, it had to go.

I’m closing 30 and I have not much passion for art or music anymore. It was painful forcing myself understand my dreams were silly, but the peace I feel now makes me think I finally made it. I can now look at their photos of the past with nostalgia and not feeling like I failed, cause it was never for me in the first place. I kept seeing people travelling there and being able to see them and, some even got chances to work with them, so I wondered wtf I was doing wrong. It was eating me alive and I desperately wanted sth to work but well...it’s all gone now. ^^

Currently I don’t have any goals but I know some old stuff came back. As a child, besides trying every artform I could get my hands on while listening to music, I also played a lot of games. We had 3 drawers and 1 cupboard full of videogames at home and I feel like I am slowly getting back to that. I limit myself only to genshin now, for sure, but I watch more playthroughs again of games I don’t have and maybe soon I will try getting a console to try more stuff, who knows. I also started watching anime again, which I had stopped for a few years.

Oh well, regardless of what the future holds, I am thankful to all those people who dared chase their dreams and inspired me do the same, my lovely musicians, even if I eventually got nowhere, and I will keep listening to their songs from time to time. And posting their pics cause nostalgia. My only complaint is that I spent the past 10 years of my life being upset that I lived in a house that didn’t allow me have posters on my walls (fucking humidity and mold ye see) and now that I can and my room is healthier, I have nobody I want on my walls. xD I will fill it with Genshin and anime characters xD.

#I'm still not happy so I don't celebrate in any way I'm just glad I found some precentage of peace away from my dreams #and stopped believing silly things #i still think people can achieve everything they want #but it does take work #and after 11 years I personally am done with that work cause apparently it wasn't enough #and that's ok #you can always find a new goal to go after #and choose how many obstacles you are willing to destroy to get to it #some people have more courage than others and patience #whether you have them or not though #finding your place in the world isn't easy #but you can't give up #there is sth out there that will either complete you or will be enough to make you feel glad you're alive #i suppose that's a goal i can have now #to find sth that can bring me happiness and like soon #cause I sure as hell won't fight for another decade for anything that excites me #if it is to bring me happiness for real it better be less than 6 years' work

[alastorismydeerdaddy]

Carnal Cravings (Alastor x Reader)

By Sophia Burns

Warning!!!

This book, is vulgar.Graphic,and so many other shameful things.So grab your bleach/holy water and enjoy.😂

"Is this a joke?" You chuckled in disbelief.

"No the bitch is actually serious." Angeldust cackled as he threw a grenade at Pentious.

You had been in hell for years now.

From the moment you were born you were in the spotlight.As you grew older you killed many in the ongoing turf wars, slaughtering powerful demon war lords and claiming their territories with ease.You were of the most feared and respected of the underworld...after all, you were the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and Charlie's older sister.

You were aware Charlie was opening a hotel, but to rehabilitate demons?These shmucks?Yea right.As if they would give Charlie the time of day.

"And you're staying there?" You giggled raising a brow.

Angel chuckled.

"Well yea, I don't have to pay rent."

"But you're staying clean?" You asked as you crushed one of the Egg boys in your clawed hand.

"Fuck no!" Angel exclaimed as he picked up a machine gun and began to obliterate a charging demon.

You rolled your eyes.

Your sister was an idiot.You loved her..but she was an idiot.

"You should come with me." Angel began wiping yolk off his face.

"I own and am a burlesque dancer i have no business there." You spat.

It was true.You were not only a dancer but the owner of a burlesque club called, "The Fallen Angel." Angel was one of your "Girls."When he wasn't shooting pornos he was dancing in your club.Now you refused to dance naked,yes you wore revealing lingerie but it was never without your infamous black and red pinstripe coat and matching fedora and a pair of Angels stiletto boots,you loved to sing and dance it was your passion, you loved to entertain, it was your passion and what you lived for.

When it came to looks you were tall, curvaceous and jaw dropping like your mother.With a voice like silk.And though you owned a Burlesque, you were still well respected.Not that anyone would dare disrespect you at the risk of their tongue being removed and eaten.

You looked up to see a Chanel 666 news chopper, the light shining down on you and Angel, waving at the camera you bore a daggered grin before plunging your claws through a demons chest and waving.

"HEY CHARLIE!" You screamed at the news camera before ripping out the demons heart and taking a bite.

Angeldust rolled his eyes and continued to shoot at Sir Pentious

"Show off." He muttered as you pegged the half eaten heart at Pentitious before roundhouse kicking him in the ribs.

You could almost hear Charlie face palming and Vaggie screaming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you two have anything to say for yourselves!?" Vaggie screamed as you rode in the limo.

"I have no involvement in your hotel business." You said with a shrug.

"She has a point." Charlie agreed.

As Angeldust and Vaggie began to argue, you arose and sat next to Charlie.She had a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry the interview didn't go well." You said softly putting a hand on her shoulder.

Charlie turned to you.

"Why did I think this was a good idea?" Charlie sighed putting her head in her hands.

"Darling, nothing worth fighting for is easy, this hotel..your idea..no matter how ridiculous it may seem..is not at all a bad idea.It certainly won't be easy but it just might be possible...but you have to win them over." You explained running your claws through her soft blonde hair.

She hugged you tightly, with a smile you returned her embrace.

"If you like i could offer my assistance?" You offered causing your sister to beam up at you.

"Really!?" She gasped.

"Why of course." You grinned.

"While I may not be participating,I would like to help you sell your dream." You said watching in amusement as Vaggie and Angel bickered.

"Could you at least stay then?" She asked with a pout.

In truth you didn't really have a home..you usually slept at the Burlesque or Angel's apartment before he destroyed it in a turf war.

"Sure why not." you shrugged.

Charlie squealed in excitement as you finally arrived at the hotel.

"Don't you need your belongings?" Charlie inquired as you all stepped out and made your way inside.

You chucked before snapping your fingers making two large suitcases appear at your side.

"I forgot you could do that." Charlie chuckled.

"Wait your staying too?" Vaggie asked.

"Yes, to help, not to participate, I still have a Burlesque to run." You replied.

"Fair enough." She shrugged.

"Charlie dear could you show me where I'll be staying?" You asked eyeing your sister.

With a nod, she lead the way up the grand staircase and through the hotel, right down the hallway.

"This is the biggest room we have." She began as she lead you to the door.

"Angel is next door, Vaggie and I are on the other side.Please make yourself at home, I'll wait for you downstairs." And with that, Charlie left you alone in the large room.

The room was completely blank.

But with a snap of your fingers it became a miniature version of your burlesque clashed with a bedroom that had a large heart shaped jacuzzi along with a grand balcony.And a huge fluffy heart shaped bed.

Your bedroom was on the right side of the room, the bar/lounge on the left.

Next to your heart shaped bed was a matching vanity with a giant mirror with circular lights on them.In the corner of the room was a small stage with two tall poles that connected to the ceiling.And finally you unloaded all your makeup and clothes.

When it was all finished and you were set up you changed into a short pinstripe dress with a pair of Angels stiletto boots.

Adjusting your tie,your hair lay flat as you slipped on your fedora once more and proceeded out the door.

As you descended down the stair case you didn't notice him staring at you, examining your physique with his hungry ruby eyes.Taking in your scent.Trailing his eyes down every curve.You were a walking masterpiece in his eyes...a rare beauty.

When you noticed him all the air had left your lungs.

Alastor the radio demon.

In an instant he was before you, and you swore to your father you could feel the evil radiate off of him.A cold shiver ran down your spine when you met his gaze,his form looming over you, yes you knew exactly who he was..only ever hearing of him you had never laid eyes on him...until now.

He reminded you of a wendigo or a deer with his tall lean form and antlers, and much of yourself in his pinstripe suit, his staff intrigued you as you examined the microphone...and at last you studied his face..and to be quite honest...he was rather attractive.Despite being a malicious demon...his hair looked unbelievably soft and you had to quell the urge to pet his perky ears.

His eyes overall were mesmerizing,his dark burgundy lids making his almost neon red irises pop,the glow making them all the more alluring.

"Well hello there~" he said in a rather smooth static voice.

You felt a blush creep on your face when he took your hand and kissed it.

"You must be Y/n."

You felt your knees go weak the moment his lips met your flesh making the skin tingle from contact due to the static emitting off of him, a shiver ran down your spine once he withdrew, you couldn't help but feel a wave of arousal wash over you at the sound of your name rolling off of his tongue.Before you could even respond Vaggie was between the two of you with a spear pointed at his throat.

"Stop right there cabrón hijo de perra!"

You couldn't help but chuckle as Alastor rolled his eyes clearly unamused by the weapon.

"It is rude to interrupt a conversation." Alastor began.

"It's rude to walk in here unannounced, especially a murderer like you, I know your game and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here you pompous cheesy talkshow shitlord!" She spat back pressing the spear to his throat.Alastor's expression darkened his smile widening as he looked down at her.

Alastor chuckled darkly.

"Dear if i wanted to hurt anyone here..."

"I would have done so already." He said in a raspy demented tone his face morphing into a distorted eerie grin, the static buzzing off of him.Making Vaggie and Charlie shrink and your blood run cold.

"No I'm here because I want to help." He smiled his expression returning it's normal cheery smile.

You burst into laughter before snapping a martini into reality and taking a sip.

"What's so funny?" Alastor mused.

Taking the olive on the toothpick and popping it into your mouth you turned your attention back to the group.

"What would the radio demon want with this place if I may ask."

"Like I said I want to help." He smiled proudly.

Now Charlie was confused.

"Um you want to help with?"

"This ridiculous thing your doing." Alastor proclaimed throwing his arms around you and Charlie.

"This hotel! I want to help you run it."

You had to stifle another laugh.Was this guy for real?

Alastor however still caught it, making him chuckle a little.

"Why?" You asked.

Alastor smirked.

"Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades, my work became mundane, lacking focus, Anguish! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment.Ha Ha ha!"

A smirk spread across your features.

"I'd love be that crave." You mumbled under your breath looking him over once more.

Little did you know Alastor almost choked on air when he heard you.

"Does my sister fighting a reporter count as entertainment?Or perhaps being a burlesque dancer?" You inquired with a smile.

Alastor chuckled before taking a step closer meeting your level.

"It's the purest kind my dear." He said in an almost seductive tone.

You felt the goosebumps rise at his term of endearment.

"Reality!True passion!After all.." he said looking at you over his shoulder.

"The world is a stage, and the stage is a world of entertainment." He finished cocking his head to the side.

You weren't gonna lie, you were absolutely loving his transatlantic accent, his presence, how he was spontaneous, and just overall entertaining in general..and not only that he was tall, attractive...and powerful.He was your wildest fantasy manifested into reality.

And you loved it.

How he would lock eyes with you in a way no one else ever dared to due to how intimidating you were.You had only just met him..and already he had you.

"So does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?" Charlie asked with a look of hope in her eyes....oh man.It was hard not to laugh thankfully Alastor did so for you.

"Of course not, that's wacky nonsense." Laughter lacing his words.

Charlie's face fell.

"Redemption oh, the non existent humanity, nononono, I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners." He explained gesturing to Vaggie and Angel.

"The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this!" Alastor exclaimed gesturing to the hotel making you snort...the demon had a point.

"There is no undoing what is done."

"So why do you wanna help her if you don't believe in her cause?" You asked.

Alastor shot you a wicked grin with mic feedback before proceeding to explain.

"Consider it an investment, an ongoing entertainment for myself." He said wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer.

His lids fell and he twirled you around.

"I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure." He explained in a raspy tone...his point of view not only made sense but did no help to quell the blooming ache between your thighs as his claws sank into your waist ever so slightly.

You missed his touch as soon as he let go of you to conversate with Charlie.Not before giving you a sinful glance over his shoulder.

From the moment he first laid eyes on you he was interested....yes while the hotel had his interest..so did you.You were one of the most successful women of the underworld and were one big bundle of fun...not only were you gorgeous...but you were ruthless and whimsical in nature...it was like looking into a mirror.He never missed a show, or a broadcast of your carnage ever since you rose to power it was like catnip to him.He looked over his shoulder one last time at you before conversing with Charlie.

You took a seat next to Angel and Vaggie.

"Uh so what's the deal with smiles over there?" Angel asked looking between you and Vaggie.

You rose a brow in amusement as Vaggie proceeded to explain just how dangerous and evil Alastor was.

But you weren't listening.You had you slits trained on Alastor.

You sat there admiring his figure from afar as you finished your martini, vile thoughts creeping into your mind...he could feel your eyes on him prompting him to meet your gaze.But you didn't look away...you locked eyes with him.His bright red eyes staring deep into yours.Entranced by the cherry, pie cut irises.The smile he gave you was dazzling.

"Looks like somebody's got a crush." Angel teased nudging your arm.

Finally managing to pull your gaze away from his you turned to face Angel and let out a huff.

"Don't be ridiculous." You huffed before making a strawberry daiquiri appear out of thin air and taking a long drink.

"Oh please your eyefucking him right now." Angel said a little louder than you'd have liked making Alastor glance your way with a smile making you blush deeply.

"Shut the fuck up!" You hissed making Angel laugh.

"C'mon Y/n he looks like a strawberry pimp." Angel snickered as he looked Alastor over.

You shot Angel a glare.

"Well I don't trust him." Vaggie seethed crossing her arms and shrinking into the seat.

She had a point..Alastor was dangerous and not to be reckoned with..but to you..it was what made him all the more tantalizing.You watched as Vaggie arose from her seat and to Charlie to most likely try and convince her of Alastor's atrocity.But you knew your sister wouldn't be able to resist Alastor's influence.

"How can i turn someone away?I can't, it goes against everything I'm trying to do."

"Ha knew it." You thought to yourself.

You watched as your sister made her way to Alastor once more.

"Okay, so Al...your sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke."

You watched his evil grin return before she turned to face him once more continuing her rant.

"But I don't, i think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better...so, I'm taking your offer to help on the condition that there be no trickster, voodoo strings attached."

"So it's a deal then?" Alastor said spinning his staff and extending his hand.

You were hoping she'd accept.Then came a green flash of light,wind started picking up.You sat there and watched in amusement sipping your daiquiri.

"No." Charlie said making Alastor retract his hand and the light fade.

"No,no shaking, no deals...i..." she turned away.

It was like watching a drama..Just fucking accept his offer already.

"As a princess of hell and heir to the throne, i herby order that you help with this hotel for as long as you desire....um what do you say Y/n?" Charlie smiled with her hands behind her back causing everyone to look at you.

"Actually I think Y/n is next in line." Angeldust shouted earning a glare from Vaggie.

"I don't want the throne." You shrugged earning a surprised look from Alastor and Charlie.

"And as for Alastor." You said taking a long sip of your drink.

"I certainly don't mind if you stick around." You said in a low raspy tone making everyone's face flush crimson.

It was something you had developed especially working at your burlesque..you had learned to speak in a very sensual and seductive manner, it got more money..and you loved to watch the people squirm under the influence of your voice..and you found it rather useful in getting what you wanted...as well as making everyone practically cream their pants.Though Asexual even your raspy velvety voice made Alastor blush a deep red.

"Sound good?" You inquired in that same tone.

Alastor furrowed a brow before returning his attention to not only you, but your physique.

"Fair enough." He smirked. Before moving along.

Vaggie's disdain radiated off of her catching Alastor's attention.

"Smile my dear." He said putting a finger under her chin.

"You know your never fully dressed without one." He smiled making Vaggie growl.He made his way back to Charlie.

"So where is your hotel staff?" Alastor asked leaning down to your level.

"Uh well."

Charlie immediately looked over to an angry Vaggie. Alastor followed her gaze.Chuckling deeply he adjusted his monocle.

"Your going to need more than that." He chuckled making his way to you.

"And what do you do." Alastor asked in a velvety voice similar to your own.

"I'm here to assist my sister." You responded casually taking a sip.You were desperately trying to calm your frantically beating heart at how close he was.

"Well I certainly look forward to working with you." He smiled seductively before moving on to Angel.

"And what do you do my effeminate fellow?" He asked gesturing to Angel.With a smirk Angel looked him up and down.

"I can suck ya dick."

Your eyes snapped wide open as you glared at your friend.Alastor withdrew there was a loud squeak of mic feed back before quickly returning to Angels level.

"Ha! No!" Alastor stated before swiftly turning around and making his way back to the middle of the hotel.

"Well this simply won't do." Alastor said.

"I suppose i could cash in a few favors to liven things up." And with that he snapped his fingers and then came a large fireplace.

In the pit was what looked to be a person.You arose from your seat to get a better view.Picking up the ball of what looked like burnt remains you watched as the ball opened a singular eye and popped to life..

"This little darling is Nifty." He said before letting her drop.

"Hi I'm Nifty it's nice to met you, it's been a while since I've made new friends." She said her pupil constricting.Her attention drew immediately to you.

"Wow your really pretty, no wonder Ala-" she was cut off by a furiously blushing Alastor giving her a death glare.You giggled.

"I'm a big fan of your work." She gushed.

"Why thank you Nifty." You replied with a pearly smile.

"By the way why are you all women,Do You Have Any Men Here!?" She exclaimed before lifting up Charlie causing Angel to grimace and Vaggie to point her spear at her.

Nifty was lively to say the least.

"I'm sorry that was rude.Oh man this place is dirty, it really need a ladies touch which is weird cause your all ladies no offense."

You burst into laughter as you watched her zip around cleaning up cobwebs and killing bugs.

"I love her!" You chuckled making Alastor grin.

Suddenly there was another whoosh of air before you could ask there was a large poker table in the corner of the room with an unsuspecting demon.

"Hah. Read em and weep boys, full house." He declared slamming the cards on the table.

He suddenly realized he wasn't in Kansas anymore and freaked out.

"What the hell?" He asked leaning against the table gripping it tight.

"What the fuck is this?"

His gaze met Alastor and he narrowed his eyes.

"You!" He hissed pointing a claw at a the radio demon.

"Ah,Husker my good friend, glad you could make it!"

You watched in amusement as Husker went off on Alastor..clearly he was about to obtain a large amount of money...before Al most likely teleported him here against his will.

"What the hell do you want with me this time?" The poor demon asked face palming.

"My friend I am doing some charity work so i took it upon myself to volunteer your services, I hope that's ok." Alastor said throwing an arm around Husk.

Husk however wasn't having it.

"Are you shittin me!?"

"Hmm, no I don't think so!" Alastor said giving him a squeeze before getting shoved away by Husk.

"You thought it would be some big fuckin riot just to pull me out of nowhere!? You think I'm some kinda fuckin clown!?"

"Maybe." Alastor smiled before a laugh track sounded through the room.

Did this guy have his own laugh track!?That's fucking hilarious.You burst into laughter making your sister stare at you.

"You think this is funny!?" Husk screamed at you.

"Yes actually." You smirked.

"I ain't doin no fuckin charity work." Husk spat crossing his arms.

You were about to say something when Alastor grabbed him again.

"Well i figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!" He announced pointing his staff at a bar that had miraculously appeared.

"With your charming smile and welcoming energy this job was made for you!" Alastor exclaimed.

You couldn't control your laughter.

Al was fantastic.

"Don't worry my friend, i can make this more welcoming.."

"If you wish..." he said in a low tone and with the wave of his hand a bottle of cheap booze...clearly labeled, appeared out of thin air.

The demon wasted no time taking his offer and drinking the green bottle of booze, taking his place behind the bar counter.

Despite Vaggies loud objections Angel told her to shut up.

"We are keeping this." Angel said pointing to the bar before sliding into the stool to flirt with husk.

Shortly after you slid into the bar stool.Husk spun around ready to tell you to fuck off too.But the moment he saw you he went silent.His mood morphing from doom and gloom to full flirt mode.

"Well hello there, what can i get you?" He asked with a smirk.

"Double shot of jack." You smirked.

"Only if i can do one with ya."

You chuckled at him.

"Sure why not?" you smiled watching as he poured your shots.

Little did you know Alastor's smile had faded into a scowl.Anger bubbling deep within him.Before Husk could even speak to you Charlie was at the counter in Husks face welcoming him.

"So what do you think?" Alastor asked forcing a smile trying hard not to obliterate Husk who was still flirting with you.

"IT'S AMAZING!" Charlie squealed.

"It's okay." Vaggie muttered.

He grabbed you away from Husk and pulled you, Charlie and Vaggie in.

"This is going to be very entertaining." He chuckled.

Vaggie,absolutely disgusted slipped out of his grasp earning a static laced chuckle.Suddenly he used fire to distract Charlie before shoving Vaggie away, throwing you a wink before the music began.

You have a dream

You wish to tell. And it's just laughable,But hey kid what the hell!

'Cause you're one of a kind,That charming demon belle!Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell.

Take it boys!

Inside of every demon is a lost cause,But we'll dress 'em up for now with just a smile!And we'll orinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair,and show these simpletons some proper class and style Oh!

He took your hand and began to dance with you making you laugh and giggle before letting go.

Here below the ground,I'm sure your plan is sound!They'll spend a little time,Down at this Hazbin Ho-

His performance was interrupted by a big bang..Nifty was hit by flying debris sending her crashing into the wall.

You let out a growl before storming to the hole in the wall to see just who in the fuck disrupted his performace. Instantly Alastor was beside you with a sadistic grin on his face you were certain he didn't appreciate it either.And there up in his weird blimp, sat Sir Pentitious.

That fucker was still alive!?

"Ha well well well, look who it is harboring the striped freak." Sir Pentitous shouted.

Your face darkened as you stepped out onto the roof.

"We meet yet again Alastor." He said pointing to the tree of a demon.

"Do I know you?"

Sir Pentious growled.

"Oh yes you do!" He replied storming into his contraption.

You were angry, how dare he burst into your sisters hotel unannounced.You watched as a huge cannon came from the ship aimed directly at the both of you.At the same time you and Alastor snapped your fingers making a huge hole into another dimension appear.Alastor looked at you amused as you watched in pure bliss as tentacles began to tear the ship apart.

With a grin Alastor twisted his fingers making the tentacles grab Sir Pentious and squeeze the ever loving fuck out of him.A twist of his fingers and angry souls swarmed the ship further destroying the ship.He finally clenched fist making the tentacles crush the ship making it explode in a blaze of fire.

Alastor's face was dark, a bright red ex on his forehead, pupils constricted and thin, his grin now evil and demented.

And you felt your body go hot when his daggered pupils met yours.You were awestruck at his power.

"Well I'm starved!" He exclaimed as his expression turned to normal.

"Who wants some Jambalaya?"

A/n:Alright this is the first chapter.Reposted from my account on Wattpad.

#alastor #hazbin hotel #alastorhazbinhotel #radiodemon #deerdaddy #Carnalcravings #SoundCloud