#and stopped believing silly things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus · 10 months

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I think visual kei is the longest obsession I’ve ever had. It took me 11 years to finally be chill about it. xD I’ve reached a point that I don’t care much about the scene, never seeing them live, missing releases like...this year I’ve managed to slowly detach.

Ever since I was a little girl, my favorite musicians were my life. They gave me a voice, a purpose and a dream. I wasn’t a casual listener, I was the kind of girl who needed to see them as much as possible, listen to music like 6 hours a day, if not more, my walls were always full of pictures of them, I always talked about them...they were my life. And even after getting into visual kei, I didn’t drop any of my previous favorites, I just wasn’t as focused on them as before. With previous artists I felt my enthusiasm was fullfilling and healthy, an energy boost, an inspiration, a place where I felt understood. It was sth I loved, people I loved etc. (and if you are one of those who think you have to know sb very well to love them, get the fuck out of my blog, I know what I felt and if a person can hate sb at first sight, they can love at first sight too. Yes maybe what I loved was 90% illusion, but I believe 10% was actually real cause, no matter how much a person likes to appear perfect and always friendly etc, cracks will always be there). Anyway visual kei felt like more than that to the point I really thought it was destiny to actually work with them (cause I’ve always wanted to work with my favorite artists, I just switched from wanting to go to the USA to Japan after a while being a fan). And you know what, it was fun as long as it lasted. It took me out of the dark, pulled blades away from my wrists, it kept me sane, lead to writing 2 and a half books, it lead to finally getting my hands on photoshop and honestly becoming a better person. But yeah those things aside, I realized that the goal-part was another lie I built to feel I belonged. In reality, it was another lesson in life which, once I got it, it had to go.

I’m closing 30 and I have not much passion for art or music anymore. It was painful forcing myself understand my dreams were silly, but the peace I feel now makes me think I finally made it. I can now look at their photos of the past with nostalgia and not feeling like I failed, cause it was never for me in the first place. I kept seeing people travelling there and being able to see them and, some even got chances to work with them, so I wondered wtf I was doing wrong. It was eating me alive and I desperately wanted sth to work but well...it’s all gone now. ^^

Currently I don’t have any goals but I know some old stuff came back. As a child, besides trying every artform I could get my hands on while listening to music, I also played a lot of games. We had 3 drawers and 1 cupboard full of videogames at home and I feel like I am slowly getting back to that. I limit myself only to genshin now, for sure, but I watch more playthroughs again of games I don’t have and maybe soon I will try getting a console to try more stuff, who knows. I also started watching anime again, which I had stopped for a few years.

Oh well, regardless of what the future holds, I am thankful to all those people who dared chase their dreams and inspired me do the same, my lovely musicians, even if I eventually got nowhere, and I will keep listening to their songs from time to time. And posting their pics cause nostalgia. My only complaint is that I spent the past 10 years of my life being upset that I lived in a house that didn’t allow me have posters on my walls (fucking humidity and mold ye see) and now that I can and my room is healthier, I have nobody I want on my walls. xD I will fill it with Genshin and anime characters xD.

#I'm still not happy so I don't celebrate in any way I'm just glad I found some precentage of peace away from my dreams #and stopped believing silly things #i still think people can achieve everything they want #but it does take work #and after 11 years I personally am done with that work cause apparently it wasn't enough #and that's ok #you can always find a new goal to go after #and choose how many obstacles you are willing to destroy to get to it #some people have more courage than others and patience #whether you have them or not though #finding your place in the world isn't easy #but you can't give up #there is sth out there that will either complete you or will be enough to make you feel glad you're alive #i suppose that's a goal i can have now #to find sth that can bring me happiness and like soon #cause I sure as hell won't fight for another decade for anything that excites me #if it is to bring me happiness for real it better be less than 6 years' work

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clarisse-doodles · 2 months

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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

#sorry this was funnier in my head #but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it #at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and #i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison #almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive #but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant #that is all thank you #clarisse doodles #batfam #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd

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duahauuoplanh · 10 months

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I’ve seen him act emotional and serious before but I never knew he could act cute so well, which really was a pleasant surprise because other people would find a new charm of his through Guwon who is also very loveable and cute character in KTL. Yoona about what she found unexpected from Junho on Allure.

#I couldn't stop giggling while giffing this silly little popato #I wouldn't like this drama as much as this if I didn't accidentally fangirl this dude since last april through TRS #Really believe this drama is so loveable now because these two amazing main lead actor and actress #perfect sarang x perfect guwon #I'm though a fan of Junho I still think Yoona also really nails her character #a love that saves you #Lee junho #Junho #It’s Junho’s season now #2pm #Yoona #snsd #King the Land #series of things that went straight to my heart and never leave #I put my heart into every gifset I’ve made #always next to Junho

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weepylucifer · 1 year

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Truly do not understand where people get these takes from. From what i've seen, the communist quest is the kindest to Harry by far

#like where do you get the impression that the game ''hates you'' for choosing the commie route #at most some npcs are mildly confused by you. and you get confronted with the failure of communism and leftist infighting #but that's?? just normal??? that's just doing your homework #it's not HATEFUL to say ''here is where the ideology has gone off course in the past. here are the bad things that happened''#it's just cautionary. you have to keep these things in mind if you wanna try again #and i do think the game comes out in favor of ''try again''. even if it seems impossible. even if the might of capital is against you.#GOTTA try again #especially the fasc and moralist routes explicitly tell you ''you're an idiot and abhorrent for believing this''#in the commie route what you get is like ''stop making those weird eat-the-rich-jokes you silly billy!''

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variousqueerthings · 11 months

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it's so important to me that johnny lawrence was basically in tears when he handed daniel the trophy, that boy had been keeping in all emotions except for rage for so long and daniel gave him permission to feel everything all at once (and then kreese almost killed him for it)

#johnny lawrence pov: you feel things for a boy and it makes you Angry because that is the only emotion you're really allowed to feel #then the boy speaks to you in the only language where you can be fluid and free and he beats you but that's honourable -- he's given you #permission to feel and now you feel everything #and then you're reminded very suddenly of why you had to be so so careful #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #tkk #the karate kid #we really do live with a fun Version of johnny in this fandom don't we big fan big fan #no wonder he decides to just stop his growth from that point on silly silly man #i still don't believe that he actually partied -- and by that i mean i think his parties consisted of going to bars or yeah house party #type situations -- getting wasted and then forgetting everything #he didn't actually *party*#basic johnny lawrence analysis? in this our year 2023??? i feel things for him okay

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zebratimw · 11 months

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Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

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kicktwine · 5 months

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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock #if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died #sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak #she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not #to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now #this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky #Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves #the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions #so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is #just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed #anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o #weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot #it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting #she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct #just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close #my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s #HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet #too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed #very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun #and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me #LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya #It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s #she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH

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orchideae · 4 months

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A little unpopular opinion on something I've seen happen more commonly throughout November/December and wanted to address quickly for my own blog: Please never hesitate to reblog anything from me. You see me reblogging a sentence starter list that you like? Go for it and reblog it from me directly without any pressure on you whatsoever to send anything into me before doing so. You like a GIF-set or musing that I reblogged? Nab it from me, it'll brighten my day to see that we share an interest in something. I like to see interaction between me and anyone who follows me. I like to see that little activity notification light up.

Honestly, it simply reminds me that we're all part of a community, and more specifically, a fandom that consists of characters and nations that we all came to love and then share that amongst ourselves. And honestly, seeing a reblog happen shortly after me but it's from the source, creates (in my opinion) an odd sense of chosen disconnect between people that can feel awkward, it's as if we're walking on eggshells as to not rub each other the wrong way. But what's wrong about going 'Hey, I see what you reblogged, I like it too!', it even gives you potential common ground to start a conversation. We're a community, and I don't know about you, but I like seeing people interact with each other beyond merely threads and notes. It's the little things that matter, after all.

#[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors.#[ i feel like this whole 'reblog karma' rule has scared people so much into stopping with behavior that... ]#[ i think was healthy. interaction; no matter how small; makes it so much easier and comfortable for people to... ]#[ interact because you almost become 'familiar faces' through these tiny little asks. ]#[ the amount of times i've entered dms kindly/respectfully after someone's reblogged something from me-- ]#[ and the person and i proceeded to just gush about the reblogged fanart in question. or something similar. ]#[ which then makes any further ooc interaction so much easier and nicer-- the initial anxiety people may face is lessened. ]#[ because you've already found common ground. ]#[ like i don't mean to force anyone to reblog from me-- but it's like it's so obvious so often when people... ]#[ see something from you but then reblog it from the source. i dunno if it's just me but it feels odd. ]#[ it feels as if someone thinks reblogging from me would step on my toes or rub me the wrong way and i don't see?? ]#[ why that's a thing? it's so silly. reblog from me; feel welcome to do so. we all love this fandom. we all love our characters. ]#[ and each others' characters. it's why we interact; right? ]#[ any way. hi-- yes. i just mean never feel odd to reblog from me. if anything i encourage it. ]#[ i'll smile and nod at you in my activity; and you'll also pique my interest to be like 'hey! good taste 💙 ]#[ any way; i hope people are having a good weekend! ]

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capfalcon · 4 months

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im gonna be so fr: tiktok girls that got popular bc they're pretty who are like "i cant do anything, im just a girl" they're just untalented and boring as hell.

most women i know are incredible and amazing and don't let tiktok or whatever brainwash you about the whole "trad wife coquette cutesy stay at home listen to whatever men say and not knowing anything" thing.

like these are young women and actual children who aren't working, whose income comes from a phone app. they're not really the people i think should be speaking about the "feminine experience" as if its a monolith. most of them don't even go outside. most of them have probably never really travelled, or have friends from different ages, different life experiences.

anyway. just saying. I'm tired of trends around feminity and quotes about feminity coming from random women most of us have very little in common with.

#this isnt me attacking these women im sure their experiences are valid and fun etc but #this IS me saying that i hate the concept that these women get to define womanhood #or femininity. gorgeous gorgeous girls etc #im tired of people recreating rigid gender roles under the guise of internet memes #like the 'im just a girl' thing is fuckin #stupid #esp when its applied to things like cars or sports or literally anything #women can do things. when did we go from women can do anything to 'hehe im so silly and im just a girl i cant do anything omggggg help meee'#girl.#and i say theyre boring because i believe that #not in the personality sense. but in the sense that #like women have been explorers and adventurers and scientists and doctors and lawyers and so many amazing things #like annie fuckin oakley????? like cleopatra???? like empress wu etc #hedy lamarr was an incredible actress and she also helped invent wifi??? like #im over this shit. lets stop minimizing women just bc u dont leave ur bedroom

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fayesdiary · 1 year

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Came to the realization that Robin is everything Grima wishes they were and I'm gonna spend an indefinite amount of time obsessing over it

#fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #fe13 #robin #grima #my rambles #i know this sounds insane but hear me out #grima has a line in their main heroes form where they ponder how their life would have been if they were human #and while its a reference to robin wishing they were fully human and able to live with the shepherds from future past 3 it still fits great #robin spends their new life in a friendly environment with people who care deeply about them and trust them with their life #while grima was viewed solely has as a threat to be destroyed or a weapon to made use of ever since they were born #robin gets to forge so many bonds with so many people while grima spent aeons trapped alone in a labyrinth after their creator #tried to kill them #and even after robin proves to be a genuine potential threat to the world the shepherds still stick by them and believe in them #while grima has always been viewed as a menace simply for existing #robin gets to be caring snarky silly and have genuine interest in things and most of all hope #while grima by the time of awakening has been so consumed by hatred and cynicism they wish everything including themselves to end #i know some of this stuff is hc but that won't stop me from obsessing over these two #should i have put this ramble on the actual post and not on tags? probably

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tired-demonspawn · 9 months

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they kissed but at what cost

at what cost

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #it is 2:40 am i have to rewatch that thing in the mornin #i just made my mum watch season 1 i cant let her see this!#on one hand cuz it ends sadly unlike season one and also cuz i dont believe for a singular second that the czech voice actors can carry tha #they could barely handle a silly lil story about stopping the end times #no way they could male this work #oh lord i cant show this to my mum she thinks its a silly lil british anděl páně #id have to introduce her to the concept shipping petronel and uriáš and i dont think shes ready for that #and then shed have to get heartbroken

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apple-os · 25 days

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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

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benetnvsch · 7 months

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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol

#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p #man I fucking hate this webbed site #would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO #this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj-#I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now ://#also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3 #in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol #at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work #so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd-#someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ #to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj #the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im -#not afraid of #also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33 #also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3 #im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh #Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover

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spinebuster · 7 months

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anyone else feeling uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

#.txt #tag vent: work makes me go brrrrrrrr #adhd being diagnosed makes me go brrrrrrrrrrrrr #not to sound Drug Seeking but stop putting me on housewife medication like.#just give me a lobotomy at this point #/jk for legal reasons that was a joke #anyway!! adult diagnosis of things i've known since i was 5- hashtag believe women.#or womxn. cos. guess who is authentic in their gender yet again :)#yet again-again-again-again. hehehe #staying silly! persevering! taking the Cool Housewife med instead of cool guy meds lol

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kenobihater · 8 months

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goddamnit. am i actually having a sexuality epiphany because i'm recognizing myself in a fictional cringefail vampire man. you gotta be kidding me

#in my defense being both on the ace spectrum AND hypersexual is a bit of a confusing thing to experience #maybe i'll feel different abt it later but for rn i think that explains a LOT #for real this explains why i don't care about sex 90% of the time but when i do it's like going 0 to 100 in .2 seconds #oh my god. oh my fucking god i used to think gray asexuality was silly bc 'everyone feels that way' oh my GOD i'm a fucking idiot #head in hands bro. cannot believe i was that fucking stupid as a teenager. i was THAT CLOSE to getting it 😮‍💨#i should talk to my therapist abt this... i haven't talked to anyone abt my hypersexuality ever bc its such a stigmatized symptom but damn #i'm not gonna blame my bipolar for this or anything but damn did it make this possible answer SO much more obscured in my mind #like... damn. i feel so flabbergasted by this #i keep saying damn in the tags. dude this revelation has rendered me without the proper words to convey my emotions.........#i'm gonna be fine but rn i feel all kinds of off kilter from this realization. and i'm still doubting it even so! but it would make SO much #sense!!!!!! ugh i haven't questioned any aspect of my sexuality in earnest in years i genuinely forgot how much it sucks #like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness #god. this is a huge tag ramble i think i'm gonna stop talking now #len speaks

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rystiel · 9 months

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(season 2 good omens spoilers)

ok… ok. ok. just finished season 2 and i can’t believe we got ineffable bureaucracy being happy together before we got ineffable husbands being happy together. why can’t they be happy together PLEASE. please.

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