#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?

[livrere-green]

I've been thinking about an omegaverse atla au a lot recently, so I'm gonna vent about it cuz it's getting tiring just to have it spiralling in my head ngl

So, the only thing that I need to mention now it's that the standard age at which someone presents is around 13 to 14 years old. Knowing that, lets talk about the main characters.

Aang (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. Also, I don't believe that being the avatar makes him an alpha perse. I mean, there's a possibility he presents as one (but he could also be a beta), and it wouldn't have anything to do with his avatar status (historically there could be a higher rate of avatars being alphas/betas, but there are some important exceptions... iykwim). Well, I think he'd present at age 13 almost 14.

Katara (14) is one of the characters that confuses me the most in this aspect, but just to add fuel to her fury and her personality, I'll make her an omega, not the kind that rejects her nature but the kind that embraces it and doesn't see it as something that makes her inferior or helpless. Katara would fight against the life society wants to impose on her in the same way she does in canon, maybe even more. She would resent the people who doesn't respect her because of her gender (just make it double), and at some point, she'd get frustrated about it, but she would think that hating herself would mean letting them win. About her presentation, there's two option: 1. She presented some months before they found Aang, 2. She presented during the first months they were traveling to the NWT (in this case, I think the ideal place would've been Kyoshi Island, because there's people able to take care of her there).

Sokka (15) would be an alpha, he probably presented after Hakoda left (14), he fits the type and the stereotypical personality at the beginning of the show. But I think he would get over it sooner rather than later and he would learnt to respect and don't underestimate betas and omegas just based on their nature. Also, I think that Sokka would scent the Gaang to protect them and particularly to cover Katara's scent as they travel or run away from trouble.

Toph (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. She'd present as an alpha some time after the end of the war (13). There's not a lot to explain here (talking about her at that age, except for the fact that even during her time with the Gaang, she probably hated Sokka's essence, just as an early hint about her gender). I consider that there's a lot to discuss about her as an adult and how she managed her relationships, but that's a discussion for another time.

Zuko (16) would be an omega, and also a late bloomer, probably presented a couple of years after his banishment (15).. Zuko would be determined to hide his true nature under any circumstances, letting only his Uncle know about it. Ozai would've been informed that his son is a beta, which was already a disappointment for the Royal Family (historically alphas), but it wasn't nearly as negative as being reduced to be treated as an omega. Zuko would end up causing himself a lot of damage in order to disguise as a beta, either by using too many suppressants or other medications, or even hurting himself physically and mentally. He would stop hiding he's an omega after joining the Gaang but It'll be complicated, since he'd be distressed all the time and even Aang and Toph would be able to notice (their senses are not totally develop, so it'll be kinda alarming).

Suki (15) would be a beta, presented at 14. In her case, the characteristics of its gender would be especially helpful to mediate conflict or get out of it. The scent of a beta has calming effects in both alphas and omegas, so she would use it with her friends, or even in battle, to make her opponents lose focus, particularly if their driven by rage. The fans are particularly helpful for that.

Azula (14) would present early as an alpha (12/13). At that age, one of the traits she would manifest the most is assuming the position of head of the pact with her friends, she'd probably scent them with the intention of establishing superiority and control over them. In this context, Mai would be a beta and Ty Lee an omega or a beta as well.

That's all for now, I still have some things in mind for this, but I'll share that later, and if you have questions, I'll be happy to answer!

#atla #omegaverse au #omegaverse atla #a/b/o dynamics #aang #katara #toph #sokka #zuko #suki #azula #mai #ty lee #omegaverse #avatar the last airbender #atla aang #atla azula #atla zuko #atla mai #atla katara #atla ty lee #atla toph #atla sokka #atla suki #sukka #maiko #kataang #zukka #tyzula #liv rambles

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

sorry if you’ve already done this 😭😭😭 but could you do Avery and Gigi headcanons!! Like when they meet and become friends ((((:

avery and gigi head canons

OMG YES! i honestly didn't think of making head canons for those two, but now that you mention it, i'm extremely intrigued. might not be as good as my other posts considering we don't know a whole bunch about gigi but i'll do my best. i've also been working on requests/posts for literal hours so my brain might be out of head canon making power. hope you like them though <3.

gigi is always asking questions about avery's childhood bc avery has the weirdest stories ever bc of the way she grew up.

avery taught her self-defense after some guy tried to come after her. gigi is now better than avery and will most definitely end you if you try to hurt her (she may or may not have also learned self-defense in order to kill duncan)

gigi loves talking to avery bc she doesn't really talk often which allows gigi to spill her guts out. she always has so many different stories to share and stuff, but most people don't spare the time to listen to her.

gigi forces avery to do tiktoks with her (dances, grwms, etc) bc avery looks so awkward and uncomfortable, and it makes her laugh.

she will steal avery's coffee bc no one allows her to have any. avery knows she steals it but doesn't say shit.

gigi forced avery to talk about sheffield and what he did to her. gigi now despises (but still sort of loves him cause he's her father) her father. she didn't think he had it in him to do smth like that to a literal child.

she encourages avery to talk about her emotions and let everything out. gigi is like the mental health advocate (for everyone but herself)

gigi loves ice skating and wanted to bring avery to the ice rink with her. avery didn't know how to ice skate though so gigi taught her how to (their lessons involved a lot of falling, near death experiences, concussions, etc)

avery is like an overprotective mom. if gigi is getting bullied or smth, she heads to that person's house/school or whtv and beats the crap out of them (verbally). they always run away in fear and never bother gigi again.

gigi buys avery clothes all the time. she thinks avery is really pretty and likes dressing her up.

avery gives gigi her credit card and tells her to spend money on whatever she wants (gigi calls avery her sugar mommy)

for some reason, avery is a really good twerker (is that even a word) and gigi forced her to teach her how to shake ass.

gigi feels comfortable enough to open up to avery and ask for advice/vent. she finds avery to be really non judgmental and straight forward which she appreciates.

avery and gigi will constantly gang up on grayson and pull pranks n him (they once replaced all of his expensive skincare with cheap shitty drugstore skincare and he actually screamed)

avery helps gigi with her homework when she's struggling. gigi is convinced avery is a saint bc she always explains the stuff to her better than her actual teachers.

gigi is bi (at least in my head), and avery was the first person she came out to.

they both talk about how much of a fucking coward grayson is when it comes to his feelings for lyra(?). they'll be watching grayson and lyra and they'll be saying things like 'omg how fucking dense can a man be, like, just fucking confess', and gigi will be like 'i fucking hate men'

avery bought her a cat (idk if its been mentioned in tbh if gigi actually has cats or if she just likes them, but if she does own cats, just pretend avery bought her another one)

they go out together and buy her cat(s?) cute little outfits (tutus, gucci coats, bows etc).

gigi has (not anymore though) a tinder account, and avery found out about it. she absolutely freaked and deleted the account telling gigi that it was dangerous and that she'd find a man for her if she was that desperate.

avery never got to experience things that most kids got to experience (she grew up too fast/didn't have the opportunity), and gigi finds it sad, so, she brings her out to like trampoline parks and stuff. it makes gigi happy seeing how happy avery is.

avery is always apologizing to gigi about her father. she blames herself and thinks she should've found another way to escape (when she was kidnapped). gigi reassures her by telling her that there was no other way and that, after everything her father did, he sort of deserved to die.

they shit talk men. they fucking hate them.

in my gigi and grayson post, i mentioned gigi loves knitting. avery knows this and buys her yarn all the time. when she's out with max (or alone or with gigi), she goes to stores that sell yarn and looks for smth cool for gigi.

gigi and her family don't have much money after what happened in tbh. avery gave them all a huge amount of money. acacia feels bad, but avery insisted. when gigi found out, she was so fucking happy she literally knelt on the floor telling avery she was a literal god. she then cried in her arms.

gigi gets her to dress up in the most scandolous shit ever. she somehow found out avery's bra size/underwear size and buys her lingerie whenever she goes out. avery secretly loves it but pretends to be scandalized.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #gigi grayson

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[totheidiot]

i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

#🍂 arian's shit #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah #i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that #two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT. #they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that #it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on #they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up #two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around #at least i think #the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is #so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice. #i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding #and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone #no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too #we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time #they love me. i am sure of it. #but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love. #it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World #i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent. #all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time. #even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this #i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person. #i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved. #i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love. #vent post #god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world #feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit #arian contemplates his universe

[wakanai]

.

#i feel so isolated #i can talk to people #but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with #hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting #i was in a group setting a while ago #talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends') #it was ok #the thing is #i don't particularly like my friends #like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa #it's most likely a 'me' thing #i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc #ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do #because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that #doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated #so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them #and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much #and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them #i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still #school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school #there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to #the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago #and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship #because as of now we're just classroom friends #and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T #its quite sad #i feel lonely #i want to be better at bond making and connections because #its miserable #vent

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

To this day I think one of the best friendships I ever had was my color guard friend. We got super super close cause we were both in love with our best friends and refused to tell them. They were one of the only people who would listen to me go on and on and on and talk to me about what was going on without losing interest partway through cause they’d heard it a thousand times. Bestie would let me talk their ear off all the time. And we’d turn right around and I’d do the same for them

#i miss bestie so so so much #nothing happened between us we just lost touch after I graduated #neither of us are good at responding to one another over text anymore #we talked the other day #it’s like no time has ever passed between us when we do talk #I’m actively fighting texting one of my friends bc I know a life update is gonna turn into me venting and I don’t want that #but man. i miss my color guard friend. we’d send each other mile long paragraphs back and forth all day and night long #it was never too much. it was never just waiting for the other person to finish so we could talk about something else #it wasn’t multitasking and being like oh sorry what I wasn’t listening #if ever it was hey I gotta do a thing for a little I’ll reply later. and then we would in depth reply #i loved my little therapy sessions with them #they were a Lot more successful at love than me. i learned a lot with that friendship #if I could have one person teleport to college with me they would so easily be in the top two #bestie for life right there. I’ll be thinking of them a lot in color guard this fall #i wonder how much they work this summer. I’d love to see them #i wanna know every single detail of what’s up with them and what’s new #soup talks

[evansbby]

vent part 4

#y’all are prob side eying me so hard rn #like ‘why won’t this bitch shut up’ 😭😂 #well I have a lot of thoughts racing in my head rn so I want to get them all written down #honestly right now the only time I DON’T feel anxious is when I’m fixing my dolls #and y’all I promise you I’m not a weirdo I do normal things like go out with my friends or read or watch tv etc #actually I don’t read anymore I don’t have the attention span for it #but anyways when I’m fixing up my dolls as in cleaning them brushing their hair giving them hairstyles or choosing new outfits #that’s when I feel the most in control of things and it helps me calm down #and to a degree I hate it bc does that mean I’m not equipped to handle real life!?? #that the smallest disruption to my routine has me screaming and crying and having a meltdown whilst everyone stares at me like I’m crazy???? #idk how to define ‘crazy’ but sometimes I truly feel it #like I just don’t feel in control of myself #or anything else #and someone told me once tang ‘when things don’t go your way you lash out’ #which is true and I hate being that person #someone also told me that I physically run away or close off if it’s something I don’t want to talk about #which is another vent for another day lmao #but ugh idek #i hate feeling like this #but idk how to snap out of it

[phoebelovingcare]

"gee, bee, it's been a long while since anyone's seen mage sister art from you! isn't that something you used to be known for? what happened?" well you see someone came into my inbox to ask me why actual, genuine, in-real-life incest was bad, not exaggerating, and well that was it for me

#negative #vent #incest ment #dont mind me im tired and in pain #but jesus fucking christ man #loving these characters has taken s fuvking toll on my psyche i swear #i s2g the mage sisters have done so much fuvkinb damage to me indirectly because people have no respect #for boundaries or nuance or otherwise #i had a fucking mental health crisis because i had to defend myself from triggers over abd over and over #i started seeing literally everything as a threat to me #i say ''dont talk to me if you ship them'' abd people come yo me and say ''but why not?? i like it'' #cant uou just listen the first time??? cant you see the problem??? #i just couldnt keep doing that shit man #abd when i would move on to other things abd people would devate me there #id fucking fight them!! because im scared!! because ive done so much research abd been in so kuch pain!!! #i cut off a friend because no matter what she could not grasp what had been DONE to me #and she just kept tearing yhe wound back open #i have nightmares of her being let back into my spaces. ive been separating myself from her faves. #people are noticing. i just cant TAKE it #i dont want to have another dream about her. just go away. let me forget.

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

^^me realizing my friend may actually not be my friend or understand me as a person or care about me at all outside of a shallow perception of me based on my recent behavior despite the fact they have known me for 6 years

#this is a vent #sucks to realize that someone never really cared about you #or at least never bothered to show it #and I mean we’ve always been very “friends who are super different” #but I didn’t think about how that might play into them not actually being the type of friend I need? #this feels very middle school navigating friendships help book #but I seriously feel like shit for not realizing this #that they never stopped to actually look at me or how I act #in the way I try to see how they are at certain times #i could name so many things they do differently from how they normally are #when they’re tired their face twitches #every time they swipe something o their phone they make a full circle with their thumb before doing it again #they act like they’re not touchy unless they’re with friends #and yet I’m realizing that they probably don’t know any of these things /I/ do #that I know for a fact my other #better friends do #and Honestly I only stopped to think about this recently #because I was talking with one of our shared friends about another one of our friendsnot taking them seriously #so I offered to help them talk it through #only to be told by this person that I shouldn’t or can’t #because “you can’t mediate” #they didn’t have a reason why #they just said I couldn’t #and maybe this is just me being insecure and wanting to Prove I Am Capable #And Useful To The People In My Life #but it just stuck with me???? #that they thought I was incapable of that #and I KNOW why they said that #it’s because of how I present myself #because I project a lot of confidence and carelessness (cough rise leo cough im not bringing him into this tho)

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

the thing about having a dead parent is like. idk where to fit in a lot of places. and that comes up a lot when people are like “oh are you a first generation college student” because technically no i’m not. my dad went to college, and i think he had his masters, too. except he died three years ago before i even started considering college so all of my college journey has been myself and my mum who didn’t go to college. so i’m not exactly comfortable being like “yeah i’m a first generation student” because i only am on my mum’s side but also talking to friends who had their parents go to college is also like “oh. ok. so you were just told that and didn’t have to figure that out yourself”

#ive had friends try to relate to me on this and it’s like. yeah we’re all figuring things out but y’all can ask your parents about stuff! #you have help from people who have navigated that college process! #i can ask my dad’s side of the family but that always ends up feeling kind of weird and awkward and while they do care about me #i’m not their kid #but i end up relating to a lot of people who are first generation college students. like one of my close friends is and we’re both seeing #that it makes such a difference when other kids have parents who have been to college and are with them through the college process #we were talking with another person who was like ‘yeah i get it my dad was a first generation student’ like! ok! not the same #he still went to college and is there to help you figure things out. my friend and i have to do it ourselves. It’s Very Different #vent tw #kinda

[iintervallum]

I hate the dismisal of online lgbt spaces as not as important as in real life or what goes on within the spaces as not that bad, because for me at least, I don't have anyone I know in my area that I can talk to about being lgbt, and I'm relatively scared of selectiviely outing myself to find more people, because i really wouldnt want it to get back to my parents somehow.

My point is, online spaces are very important as a point of connection for the many of us that have no one irl, and I hate how any serious method of discussion gets turned into discourse. like people saying there is a severe amount of lesbophobia, biophobia, transmisogyny and racism in the community are not picking fights. we're trying to make this space better because for some of us its all we have! so please, do better.

#aster.txt #kind of a vent more than anything because its frustrating and i'm getting both nostalgia for the past and derision for it #there were two people i did know in my HS that are lgbt but they both moved to canada for uni #one of them is a total sweetheart and I miss talking to her so much #like they were such a wonderful person to complain about our schools stupid rules #and how shitty gender roles are and how conservative indian parents suck #and last i saw shes transfem since they made a secret priv account with she/they pronouns and them wearing a dress as the first post #i hope she found people that they could connect to where ever she is now #the other is not so positive a story lol #she is the main reason why my self esteem issues went from not that good to very bad #like her mind games and the fact that she called me clingy as an attempt to get another friend to stop being around them was shitty #i isolated myself from other people for a long time becasue i thought i would just ruin things if i got too close and showed my personality #despite her doing that i didnt actually hate her until i found out what she did to a friend of mine #my friend was having family issues because her father had tyroid cancer and her “friends” including that person forced her to tell them #and that person had the gall to say that what she was going through wasn't that bad and she should stop making stuff about herself #after they forced her to open up #god i hated high school uni isnt any better but i'm glad its not high school #so many petty people because we're all teenagers going through our own shit and we're still figuring things out #i'm half thinking of just unfollowing a lot of them on instagram becasue they sucked but no i wont do that..yet

[meebspace]

GRUUUAAGGGGGG part 2 idk

#i genuinely do not know ehy i dont just end it because what's the point? #i dont see the possibility of the world. i dont see the love in everything anymore. im not enough just existing like i thought i was #obviously im not #and in some way i feel like all of it was deserved because why would it keep happening if it wasnt? why would i have stayed in this sort of #weird thing if i was? ive lost so many of my friends for the same reasons- for me being a bad friend.both my parents and some family thinks #im underachieving and its like.. maybe i AM just bad. maybe i AM just worthless and talentless and have no future #why would i be here if those werent true?????? #i just #im just trying to work and get myself together so im less of a burden- so finally my dad wont complain about me and so finally i wouldnt hav #e to leech off everyone i know. and at that point why even work when it can just all be over asap (if i could get over my fear of death) #i dont even want to talk to peopl about it anymore because it just worries them or makes me look stupid and immature #like people have to tire of constant emotionally oppressive venting at some point #and i cant get medicated because they always dismiss me with anxiety. and i dont have a counselor just because i dont have time in my schedu #le for that. so it feels really demotivating and really pointless. but not seeking those makes me feel like im just a useless wallower? #idk. im gonna pick up another job anyways. maybe I'll just work so much that i can be dead to the world with the illusion of being success #ful or something. maybe then i wont be such a failure of a human being and they can be proud of me

[white-nolse]

Which character was it? You don't have to say who if you don't want to!

Hello there! Don't worry, it's not like the person who made me start disliking them is going to see this akksksksk. I might be bad at interacting with my mutuals, but I don't follow people unless I like them.

Honestly it happened with Bru//no Bu//cciarati first (don't want this on the main tags). But he went from a favorite to a meh character. I have mutuals that like him so that kind of keeps him on a good place.

But now it happened with Aba//cchio too, but he surpassed the "meh" levels and now I just- don't like him anymore?

I think now I like La Squ//adra a lot more because of my friends too.

#mape talks #Oh well #Can't do much about it #I don't really have many mutuals that ship with him anymore so that also killed whatever was there akdkkzs #edit bc I just remembered another thing that almost made me hate Melone too #Like- you might dislike someone's Oc #But you don't say ''ew what a clown you should like my Oc instead'' #Don't force people to like your Ocs nor assume that everyone is automatically going to like them #Mostly if your Oc has nothing interesting about them #Sorry for taking this ask as vent-ish to say all that #They're friends with my bestie so it's not like I can tell her all this aldkksksk

[splatoonmaster69]

.

#vent continued #frankly i dont know why im even talking about it here when none of you care either #i mean yoy all follow me for funny shit and thats literally it none of yoy give an actual fuck #i could drop dead right now and none of yoy would care #oooo look at me im such a silly little guy please stop ignoring me please be nice i promise ill be funny for you if your nice #i promise ill be your little pet compliment and joke dispenser if you just hang out with me every few months and say you like me #its so funny when the only adults that care are literally paid to do so #its even funnier that sometimes even qhen theyre paid to they still dont care enough to do the bare minimum to keep me alive #its *even funnier* than that that not a single one of the 300 people who like the silly things i reblog would care if i died #thats another selfish thought im not allowed to think that because im always selfish even if all i want is for people to care for once #i hate all of you #and see thats why no one cares because i say i hate them right after i beg them to care this is why im so stupid #im so tired if dad was one of those neglectful parents that leaves a gun around id hurry up and blow my brains out #maybe my best friends would be sad but lets face it everyone else woumd get over it before the funeral ended #'oh no my son is dead. atleast i dont need to deal with what a failure he is anymore' #i thoght meds were supposed to stop me from feeling like this anymore why the hell are we payinf for them if i still wanna die so bad #im so tired. i wish it was all over already