#chris pratt as mario sucks though like fuck that

[bahamutgames]

The AFTERTHOUGHTS Movie

Movie: The Super Mario Bros. Movie (April 5th, 2023)

Console: Fuckin' uuuuuuuh.... DVD player....

I wanted to do this when the movie launched but thought to myself "oh I could write my thoughts up in a twitter thread who cares what I think about mario bleh bleh bleh" so I didn't bother. But like 5 months have passed since I first saw the movie. I've watched it about 4-5 times now and I STILL haven't written up my thoughts. So no, clearly I CANNOT write my feelings up in a twitter thread. And YEAH, no one cares what I think about Mario I'm very aware of that. But FUCK YOU I'm gonna tell you why I think this movie is actually amazing!

I've been seeing some people talk about it lately but most comments I see about it nowadays are a little negative. And a lot of the sentiment around this movie before launch was negative. I was in this boat too prior to the first trailer coming out. But I gotta be honest, no, like. I really really REALLY like this movie. And I just gotta gush about it a little bit.

EVEN FOR A MOVIE (which I'll probably never do this again until maybe Sonic 3 comes out lol) THIS IS NOT A REVIEW! This is just me throwing up my thoughts on the movie now that I've watched it like 200000 times.

MARIO MOVIE SPOILERS AHEAD!! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET WATCH IT I SWEAR TO GOD WATCH IT IT'S GOOD!!!

Opening

So, some of you may know, some of you may not. I used to be a big Mario fan. I've mentioned it in the past on twitter and such but this series used to be my LIFE. I'm not kidding. I was obsessed with it for YEARS, since I was child. I loved studying it and brainstorming headcannon and thinking about it and learning about it and just talking about lore stuff with people from the series. And I'll be honest, while lately I'm kinda still into it here and there, I haven't been super into it that intensely in a long while. For a lot of reasons. So I was very hesitant on the Mario movie. I wasn't sure if I was gonna like it. But I went in DAY 1 to see this movie. I had faith, I had to see how it would go.

And when I left that theater I was BLOWN AWAY. I LOVED IT!! I went and I saw it again about a week later. And I STILL LOVED IT! I bought it on DVD and rewatched it 2-3 more times with the rest of my family and I STILL LOVED IT EVERY TIME! It's not perfect by any means but in this chaotic write up I hope I can explain why it hit me so hard as a returning Mario fan. To get it out of the way, I'm gonna open up with my problems with it and then go into the praise.

Stuff I didn't like

So again, I do have some complaints so I'd like to start there just to get them out of the way. First up, I still have a problem with some voice actors. For the most part, they're all pretty good. I think Chris Pratt is better than the trailers would have you believe (which I fucking called I knew they were picking his worst lines for the trailer) and I was pleasantly surprised with how good Seth Rogan was for DK. Bowser, Toad, Luigi, they were all great! But dude Cranky's voice SUCKS so bad. I hate it. And I liked Peach but I wasn't in love with the voice? But not as bad as Cranky lmao.

And the pacing IS weird. This is a big issue I've seen a lot of people complain about and it's totally fair. It's not well paced. I think it's better on rewatches, but it's not perfect by any means. Like they jump back and forth between Mushroom Kingdom and Dark Land so much but at the same time Luigi just kind of isn't in it enough? It's very weird. And I feel like it progresses a little oddly between the different areas. But ultimately again, it's fine it's not as bad as people say even though it is weird.

And of course, the issue of removed music. I think that pretty much all the copywritten songs used in the movie were the wrong choice when the remixes that were absolutely superior were available. 'I Need A Hero' works for sure, I didn't mind that. But 'Take On Me' is SO out of place especially when they had a fantastic DKC remix to use for that! THANK GOD they actually used the Starman theme cause it would've ruined what was otherwise one of my favorite Mario scenes ever (we'll get to it).

Also, like, Toad is just toadally dropped by the end of the movie. He barely speaks towards the end and it's a shame cause I LOVED Toad in this movie! He absolutely deserved more attention in the second act of the movie. Thankfully he still shows up even though he barely gets to participate (did he even fight in the final battle? I hope he did)

And I have some other nitpicks. No Toadsworth L. Not enough powerups get used. Again, not enough Luigi.... Why is Lumalee in it? I assume it's to build up to something in the sequel. But still. Odd. BUT other than that? Man I just gotta sing the praises. There's so much positive to talk about.

Stuff I liked

OKAY! There's a lot I gotta compliment with this movie. For some basic stuff. It looks LOVELY! I love everyone's design! Mario and Luigi are so cute, Toad easily could've been creepy but they make them work fantastically, DK looks cute, BOWSER IS AMAZING! Peach looks a little odd but I still think she's very beautiful to me! And the environments are super stunning. The Mushroom Kingdom looks great, Dark Land looks fantastic, Rainbow Road looked SO GORGEOUS! And the music is AMAZING! So many cues from so many different games and themes. The basic Mario themes, Bowser's various themes, Galaxy stuff, there's even a cut SMRPG song apparently!? The music is amazing and relistening to it now it's blowing me out of the water all over again!

I know it's gonna sound like I'm overhyping it or exaggerating. But this movie is SUPER good with how it handles the source material. It's pretty much exactly what I would want out of a Mario movie at least in terms of how the world is presented. The shots of Mario overlooking the Mushroom Kingdom on the big shroom is AMAZING. All the hills and mushrooms and floating blocks. I adore the way it takes game mechanics like power ups and floating blocks and puts them into a non-game setting in a way that works SO well. In a way I've always envisioned the world to work myself. I LOVE seeing blocks as naturally occurring things in the Mario world. I love when Mario first appears in the world and you see Biddybuds walking around, you see Cheepcheep swimming, you see even a fucking Bramball walking exactly how it does in the games but like, it's not in a game! It's alive! They took how these creatures act and put them in a living world exactly how they would be! It's amazing! They even managed to take traditional Mario levels like the Cheepcheep bridges and turn them into a real area you could visibly see yourself walking in! It's not just in a video game it looks and breathes like it's real! Does this make any sense? I'm blown away by how they put game stuff into it but it doesn't feel like game stuff, it feels how this game stuff would feel irl. I love how they explain the powerups, I didn't think they'd even touch the Super Mushroom! But the idea it makes it you taller and gives you super human jumping is GENIUS! That's perfect! I hadn't even seriously considered how the growing and shrinking works, but this movie does it perfectly!

I think the best example I can give about this is the scene where they are camping in a field of fire flowers. This scene is genuinely amazing to me. This is a setting I've always DREAMED of seeing in a Mario game. But it's just not exactly something you'd ever get to see in a Mario game, but this movie does it. I LOVE seeing the power ups being naturally occurring in nature. Naturally occurring Fire Flowers are something I LOVE thinking about in my own head canon. They look so gorgeous in this movie and the whole scene looks so amazing. I love seeing Peach grab one and the slow transformation sequence and how they turn that into a practical thing and how Peach uses the Fire Flower not as a video game weapon or item, but just as a simple tool to start a campfire. I don't know if I'm describing it well enough but this is stuff I've always DREAMED about the Mario universe working like if you lived there. But somehow this movie just GETS IT. Naturally occurring floating blocks, powerups growing in nature, enemies existing in nature as animals! It's perfect!

And even the crossover between the "real" and "mushroom" worlds are done SO well! I am a pretty staunch "Mario was BORN in the Mushroom World and there is no Real World" kinda guy but this movie brings it back PERFECTLY. I love seeing Mario and Luigi as kind of losers? It's not an angle you ever really see with them, not that I need to have a sad NSMB game where Mario and Luigi are losers, of course lmao. But still it's neat! And seeing them living a normal life is cool! It's something we've gotten from previous Mario projects but never really with the games or something that follows the games so faithfully. But I adored seeing this side of their lives in a way that usually I'm not super die hard into as "canon"? If that makes sense? But I LOVED seeing the Mario family. I audibly GASPED when they showed up!! LIKE WHAT!? OFFICIAL MARIO MOM AND DAD FACE REVEAL!?!? I NEVER WOULD'VE SAW THIS COMING AND I DON'T THINK PEOPLE APPRECIATE HOW INSANE IT IS TO SEE MARIO RELATIVES IN 2023!!! THAT'S NUTS I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BUT AGAIN THIS MOVIE DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE! And this movie made me really appreciate the whole "real world vs mushroom world" concept in a way I never have before. While I still prefer the idea Mario was born in the Mushroom world I think there's a really good "You Could Wear the Mask" element that comes from him being from the real world. Which is cool! It makes Mario an everyman the same way Spiderman is. Which I like!

And even the characters themselves I think they're all handled super well. Mario being super brave and standing up for himself, but still folding when he's approached by his father. It's interesting, again, something that could never be tackled with a version of Mario in the past. I love how kind Luigi was and how he's cowardly but still has moments of strength. And he's his own person not a Mario clone. And I love how much brotherly love the two genuinely show for each other. It's something you only really get to see in the RPGs and Luigi's Mansion honestly. I love that Princess Peach was still cute and high femme but totally kicked ass and at no point in the movie did they go like "BWAH!? A GIRL DOING BOY THINGS??? HUH?" NO! They just let Peach be a bad ass! I loved it! I loved DK being a showboating super jock type guy who also wants to impress his dad. It's probably not something I ever would've thought to do for DK but it's SO good and it makes such an interesting parallel between Mario and him. I LOVED Mario and DK's rivalry. I wasn't expecting DK to become a main teammate so that was WONDERFUL to see. When they work together in the eel and when they get to the Mushroom Kingdom and when they still bicker and argue I love it it's so cute it's such a good way to interpret this dynamic! And Bowser is done SO well I love how utterly psychotic he is. The way they handle how much he hates Mario without EVER MEETING HIM is so perfectly done! And I love that they don't pull any punches. He's ruthless and cruel like how Bowser is. And they don't waste any time trying to redeem him or make him seem like "oh well he's just a big softie :(" NO, HE'S A MANIPULATIVE FREAK! I'm so glad they actually beat the shit out of him! They make him scary and big and imposing and they take him down! It's SO wonderfully done!

But without a doubt, my favorite part of the movie is the finale. It's straight up amazing. It gives me chills just thinking about it. The whole finale where they end up back in the real world might be one of my favorite Super Mario scenes across the entire franchise. Where Bowser beats the shit out of Mario and sends him running away scared into a pizza parlor. It's scary it's not something you usually see. And when Mario is cowering while Bowser calls him a loser, it's interesting, again you don't usually see this lack of confidence in Mario. He's genuinely bruised and banged up. Like, he has physical damage on him. Not just "OH I'M SHORT NOW!" Damage, but REAL painful injuries you can physically see. Again, this isn't something I'd probably want in a Mario game but for a movie it's daring, it's crazy they were allowed to do it. It's unique. This type of edgy stuff is something I LONG to see in the Mario series in some way and it finally happened. And the whole part where the ad they made at the start plays glitched out and gives Mario the newfound confidence he needs. It's beautiful again it gives me chills. And he gets back up and fights it's so cool. THIS IS THE MARIO I LOVE, AND IT'S JUST SO INTERESTING TO SEE THAT PERSONALITY CHALLENGED! It's a similar reason I love the Sonic movies so far, he's different he's more childish he's not always 100% on his game like in the games. It's cool to see them do these things with these characters. But then, the best part. Is when Luigi takes a stand and saves Mario from Bowser's breath. "As long as we're together, everything will be okay" it's beautiful. I'm actually getting a little emotional writing it up. It's perfect. Mario and Luigi are a TEAM. They are a DUO, I WANT TO SEE THEM WORK TOGETHER TO FIGHT! AND THEY DO! I LOVE WHEN BOWSER TRIES TO KICK THEM AND THEY STAND TALL WHILE THE ROAD BREAKS BEHIND THEM!! SEEING THEM KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THE WHOLE KOOPA TROOP WITH THE STARMAN THEME PLAYING IS GENUINELY BREATHTAKING I LOVE THIS WHOLE FUCKING FINALE! AND SEEING THEM SWING BOWSER AROUND AND THEN STOMP HIM THROUGH THE FLAMES IS SO COOL! IT'S AN AMAZING FINALE THAT'S DONE SO RIGHT WITH SO MANY LITTLE CHARACTER BEATS BETWEEN MARIO AND LUIGI AND EVEN BOWSER JUST SO PERFECTLY I'M UTTERLY BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THIS FINALE IS!

I just fucking love this movie man. Sure it is a lot of references, it's not perfect, but it's a genuinely good Mario movie. And more than that, I'd go as far as to say it is a genuinely good movie straight up. I don't watch a lot of them, but I've seen enough to say I love this movie as a movie.

Responding to Criticisms

I've seen some criticisms of the movie I'd like to address. Some of these are from friends, so if you see something you said here PLEASE do not take it as an insult! No hard feelings what so ever I just wanna give my two cents! Please understand it is COMPLETELY fine to have not liked this movie, but in the same vein it's totally okay for me to give my peace on what I think about other people's toughts.

For one, a big one, "it's just an hour of Mario references." Yeah? I mean kinda. But a lot of those references are just... World building or the Mario world as it is? Like... Were you mad when the Chaos Emeralds showed up in Sonic 2? That's a reference, but it's a part of the world. In my opinion I think most of the big references are in the background anyway, so it's okay if they're laid on a little thick. Plus, again, a lot of the references are just to how the Mario world would work. Plus there's a TON of original stuff and original interpretation on these concepts.

"Ah it's just a kids movie there's nothing interesting in it" Again I could not agree less. Sure it is a kids movie. But there's still some good themes in it, some fantastic concepts and interpretations on the characters. Some kinda edgy stuff in it. iirc they actually say stuff like "Hell Hound" and Kill and stuff you wouldn't expect from a Mario thing. And again, you see Mario bruised up! THAT'S CRAZY!! DOES NO ONE ELSE THINK THAT'S NUTS!?

"It's probably canon so it's not doing anything interesting" I'm sorry, no. For a fanbase that's so intense on Mario lore and going insane any time Mario isn't some sort of bible lore heavy series. I think people are seriously overlooking fascinating elements and mysteries present in this movie. Such as how do the real world and the mushroom world relate? How are they combined after the first movie? Where does Peach come from? Where did the star come from? What's gonna happen with Bowser going forward? This movie, while following the Mario world closer than say, the Sonic movies. It is absolutely doing its own thing. And I'm sure more and more unique things will come from future sequels. It's an interesting movie in of itself.

"Princess Peach is so bad in it" I don't agree! I don't think she's perfect but again she's a total bad ass while still wearing cute dresses and being high femme like I said. And like I said, they never are like "WOW GIRLS CAN'T DO BOY STUFF HOW SHE DO THAT!?" They just let it happen, they just let Peach be cool. But also it's neat to see her doing princess stuff and they still show her having weakness, I LOVE when Bowser manipulates her by torturing toad (that's such a fucked sentence) because it shows she really cares and she has to make hard choices but she still fights through them! And again, it's not like she's the only competent character. She lived in that world I would hope she's better at it than Mario lmao. But the other characters absolutely hold their own and are just as strong as she is! She's works perfectly.

"Bowser doesn't even know Mario why does he hate him?" That's the idea! I can't find the post now but someone explained it SO well! The whole concept is that he has this idea of Mario built up in his head. Bowser is totally delusional. Peach not loving him has NOTHING to do with Mario and everything to do with Bowser being a psycho! And again in my opinion that is such a good interpretation of the character and even Mario and Bowser's relationship!

"It's not as good as the live action Mario Movie" This is a matter of opinion of course but I gotta be honest. This movie is way better. And I want to make it clear: I LOVE the live action Mario Movie. I liked it before you did. I'm gonna be up my own ass about this one cause I know it's true cause for YEARS y'all were saying it sucked until suddenly it became popular to like it out of nowhere. I ran a President Koopa RP tumblr for a while and had seen the movie multiple times before it became the cool thing everyone liked. And while I still love that movie, I just gotta say as a Mario fan I appreciate how this one handles Mario and Luigi's relationships more and I appreciate the more close to canon look at the world. Live Action Mario is certainly more unique, but doesn't fill me with the same sense of child like wonder that makes me feel like the Mario franchise still has magic worth holding onto even nowadays.

But again, this is all a matter of opinion. You are ABSOLUTELY allowed to not like this movie. That's fine. But similarly, I should be allowed to absolutely gush about how amazing the movie was to me and how much it means to me as a Mario fan who had their whole life changed by this series.

Final Thoughts

Man.

That was a lot. I can't contain myself sometimes. But I'm glad I finally got to at least in some way gush about this movie. Cause I really did love it and writing my thoughts on it really makes me wanna watch it again. So I probably will this weekend as a birthday gift to myself.

I find it a little difficult to be so plainly honest about Mario things I love. For multiple reasons. I think this fanbase is a little poisoned. And I feel like being genuine and enjoying what you like about the series can be kind of met fairly negatively a lot of the times. And again with how teetering-tottering I am with my love of the series lately it can only make it more difficult. So I hope I don't come off as annoying about this movie. But Mario whether I like it or not means a lot to me and I have a lot to say about this movie.

I had a friend tell me I couldn't possibly give a non-biased take on the movie. And maybe that's fair. But honestly I don't think it's entirely fair to write off why I love the movie because of that. I genuinely love this movie, not only as a Mario fan but just as a casual movie watcher. I thought it was good. And yeah maybe I wouldn't like it as much if I wasn't so insane about the series for so long. But I do genuinely hope you can understand after seeing all this why it means so much to me and why I think people are being a little unfair to it. I genuinely think it's being nitpicked too hard. It's a truly incredible Mario experience that I loved.

From the way game mechanics are translated to a living world, to the way characters are reinterpreted, to yeah, even just the little references. I flipped when a small part of the Luigi's Mansion theme played, so what? I like Mario, man. So what!?

So yeah. I'm sure I could say more but I'm getting a little embarrassed. So I think I'll wrap it up now.

===

Thanks for reading, if you somehow actually made it through that whole ramble. You are an absolute hero. I waiting a long time to talk about this (still not as long as I took to talk about Sonic 2 though lmao) but I hope in any small way I could convey why this movie really hit home for me in a way I honestly didn't think it could.

I'm genuinely interested to see where the Mario movies go from here and I'll gladly watch them all. I'll be there day 1 to watch the sequel, the DKC movie, the Luigi's Mansion movie. I don't care if it makes me a sheep you've got me hook line and sinker. I'm so blown away by how well it got the series down and I cannot wait to see where it goes from here.

Thank you again for putting up with my insane ramblings. Please follow me on twitter if you wanna... idk see me be a crazy person more.

That's all from me, go out and watch a movie that really makes you emotional!

#2023 #thoughts

[pandapupremade]

highlights of the movie direct:

chris pratt sounding the least genuine of any person i have ever heard speak

chris pratt voice "i remember...smashing koopas...koopas...smashing them at the local laundromat..."

chris pratt voice "iamso. honored. to work with the great..funny BOWSER. hilarious jack black"

jack black seemed decently hyped

the animation looks rly rly nice

mario's voice sucks

he sounds like a fucking guy

a guy.

a nomal guy.

where is the italian

bowser sounds good though thank god for jack black

#kermit.txt #uh. ask to tag #nintendo direct spoilers #??????????? #literally the movie looks so good. except um. chris pratt

[doubleddenden]

So the Nintendo direct. If we can even call it that? It was basically just bland lip service and Jack Black being awesome for a movie trailer.

Let's get this out of the way: the movie oddly enough does look great, at least from the snippet so far and visually speaking. The only one that looks off is Mario himself, who looks like they *wanted* to go realistic at first and then changed their mind about 5 minutes into modeling.

The Koopa vs Penguin scene was pretty great and Jack Black just... it's not what I would expect Bowser to sound like? But it's still VERY good and still a very great performance. You can tell he had fun.

Oh, and even though it went quick, I like the bit of Luigi running away from monsters into a spooky castle looking scared af. I couldn't hear enough of Charlie Day to determine if it sounds okay or not, but Luigi actually looked pretty great model wise.

Now for criticism:

Again, Mario looks off. Not too off and not uncanny valley off, but like generic brand oreos off.

Chris Pratt- just from what little I've heard, I'm not impressed whatsoever. I guess it's better to just sound like yourself instead of forcing an obviously fake Italian accent, but it's still not good. Should've just been Charles Martinet.

Not to mention the celebrity testimonial before the trailer- Chris forgot wtf Koopas were for his own fucking movie. Jack absolutely brought ALL of his energy and you could feel his genuine excitement. Chris however sounds like he had forgotten he had an interview and quickly Googled Mario stuff.

Ultimately that part has nothing to do with the overall quality of the movie, but it does leave me a little wary. Despite the success of Detective Pikachu and the Sonic movies, most movies based on games SUCK, so forgive me for being skeptical.

But 7 years. Jesus Christ. Nintendo and their affiliates barely spend 3 to 5 on their games. Hope it's worth it

I'll keep an open mind until the final product. I'm very curious to see how Peach and DK will look and act.

#mario #nintendo #den reviews stuff

[the-musical-cc]

Any thoughts about the Mario Movie Cast announcement?

I don't know why the fuck they couldn't just let the game cast do the voices. Like. You'd think Mario is well-known enough that you don't need the star-talent bullshit, but *shrugs*.

That aside, I'm pumped for Jack Black Bowser and Anya Taylor Joy as Peach! Jack Black does a mean voicework and you know he's gonna go all out for the giant simp turtle. Taylor Joy I don't think I've ever heard her voice anything? But she's a great actress and with the right coaching, that's already half the job for voice acting done.

#chris pratt can suck my nonexistant ballsack tho #Mario is my homeboy and I hate that he got the religious fuckboy for a voice actor when Martinet is RIGHT FUCKING THERE #ask #masiosare #((Though to be fair the closest Mario voice to the one in my head is probably the one from the anime movie. #I am sadly not very familiarized with the super mario bros show voice as I watched it dubbed and like over 20 years ago))