#college ughhghh

[gaycicada]

Hey gang, anyone got a cure for- “oh god, I need to be doing anything and everything right now at maximum speed and succession”?

#adhd jazz #adhdlife #is this adhd? #I’m not diagnosed #burnout? #college ughhghh #arts not art-ing #I wanna be a sea slug #the strange case of starship iris is getting it’s claws in #the strange case of starship iris #status update on the creature in the tube #I’m the creature in the tube

[listenas-she-whispers]

summer updates!

one week left of my law internship. i hate the commute up, bart is so freaking loud and slow, and i hate getting up early in the morning, but at least it gave me a schedule to stick to. the commute just eats away at time that i need to be doing work/chilling. there’s one person that i dislike a lot that i’m interning with, but it’s chill. i think one of the things that i’ve been working on is not letting the small things get to me too much, and that includes people. met a lot of very smart, knowledgable, and interesting lawyers! hanging out w older ppl make me feel a lot better about myself because they’re so wise and have so much experience and advice to give and i just feel so calm and not worried about the future when i’m talking with them. it’s probably because i’m starved for emotional stability that my parents can’t give me lmao

there’s this security guard who’s on duty when i get off of work and all the regular employees who work there know him and say hi to him because he’s literally the sweetest person that i’ve ever met and he always has a smile no matter what BUT I KEEP FORGETTING HIS NAME and i feel so bad about it because usually i’m really good w names but for some reason i can’t remember asldkfj. he’s literally what i hope to be in terms of personality: friendly, personable, positive, and able to make people smile. i mean he’s a security guard, his job basically consists of standing in front of the elevators and answering questions but he’s still so happy and friendly and kind and sweet like wow i wanna be like him.

ap japanese is gonna kill me, i couldn’t find the stupid workbook until this week and i’ve only got a month to finish it but i’m also gonna be interning in Shanghai for three weeks so ughhghh. 

it’s nice not to stress about guys anymore and just be chill as friends, esp going into senior year because i’ve got a ton of shit to worry about than boys and relationships. i’m hanging out w someone for lunch and i’m also studying/catching up with an old friend that i haven’t seen since last december! so today will be a busy day, and tomorrow i have mock although i’ve not decided if i actually want to go. 

had a lot of time to reflect on myself especially since i just finished my first draft of my personal statement for college apps. unfortunately that made me realize a lot of my insecurities and my bad qualities and so i’ve been kinda sad lately :( 

really wish summer was longer so i can do more stuff that i want to do!!

#summer 2017 #ramblings