#coordinated. and then i have to wait for my moms stress level to subside like another few weeks and then ill be able to ask again 4 my jaw

[coridallasmultipass]

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#hhhhfuck more venting #i hate not having a car or license so much #i need to make a doctors appointment (for months now already) but ive been putting it off bc my mom has to fix the car #bc the doctor is like hours away from me (the closest jaw doctor) #and its like #my jaw just gets worse day by day #i cant close my teeth together bc my teeth are so crooked #which means im like regularly having a hard time eating anything that requires a clean cut bite #but more importantly (to my mind) i have dermatillomania specifically/most commonly around biting my lip #and i cant get a clean bite #i cant even close my front teeth together they dont touch at all #i could slide paper into my mouth when my jaw is closed #so i cant bite my lip normally when it gets chapped #so i resort to picking and tweezers #and those GO DEEP far deeper and bloodier than if id just been able to one-and-done bite the problematic part #its stressing me out so badly and im constantly trying and trying to bite my lip #which is making my jaw problem worse #and the car isnt getting fixed despite the fact that ill literally give all my life saving to fix it if only shell take me to my appointment #but things are just backed up bc its not even my moms car shes borrowing it from my grandma and so its a whole thing that has to be #coordinated. and then i have to wait for my moms stress level to subside like another few weeks and then ill be able to ask again 4 my jaw #im so tired #its so painful mentally and physically #and im sick of choking on food i couldnt bite off #i hate being chronically ill on multiple fronts and it just makes it so much worse when the only tmj doc is HOURS AWAY #by the time i eventually get to the doc theyre prob gonna b like 'o man this got bad u shoulda come in sooner now ull need surgery' #or some shit like that and i wont be able to handle that on top of having to go to thousand oaks multiple times for treatment #its too fucking far i hate living in rural cali so much man it sucks here #vent #delete later / / #dermatillomania mention