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#and the car isnt getting fixed despite the fact that ill literally give all my life saving to fix it if only shell take me to my appointment
coridallasmultipass · 3 months
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#hhhhfuck more venting#i hate not having a car or license so much#i need to make a doctors appointment (for months now already) but ive been putting it off bc my mom has to fix the car#bc the doctor is like hours away from me (the closest jaw doctor)#and its like#my jaw just gets worse day by day#i cant close my teeth together bc my teeth are so crooked#which means im like regularly having a hard time eating anything that requires a clean cut bite#but more importantly (to my mind) i have dermatillomania specifically/most commonly around biting my lip#and i cant get a clean bite#i cant even close my front teeth together they dont touch at all#i could slide paper into my mouth when my jaw is closed#so i cant bite my lip normally when it gets chapped#so i resort to picking and tweezers#and those GO DEEP far deeper and bloodier than if id just been able to one-and-done bite the problematic part#its stressing me out so badly and im constantly trying and trying to bite my lip#which is making my jaw problem worse#and the car isnt getting fixed despite the fact that ill literally give all my life saving to fix it if only shell take me to my appointment#but things are just backed up bc its not even my moms car shes borrowing it from my grandma and so its a whole thing that has to be#coordinated. and then i have to wait for my moms stress level to subside like another few weeks and then ill be able to ask again 4 my jaw#im so tired#its so painful mentally and physically#and im sick of choking on food i couldnt bite off#i hate being chronically ill on multiple fronts and it just makes it so much worse when the only tmj doc is HOURS AWAY#by the time i eventually get to the doc theyre prob gonna b like 'o man this got bad u shoulda come in sooner now ull need surgery'#or some shit like that and i wont be able to handle that on top of having to go to thousand oaks multiple times for treatment#its too fucking far i hate living in rural cali so much man it sucks here#vent#delete later / /#dermatillomania mention
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Give a Little Bit.
Pairing: none.
Author: JJM
Rating: none
Summary: Bill has done everything in his power to break his studder, from tongue twisters, to speech impediment classes and nothing has helped. Frustrated and tired of being mocked after giving a fairly bad speech in class his friends decide to take him for a joy ride.
Bill threw the heavy wooden door to his social studies class open and sprinted down the hallway, laughter echoed behind him fading away till all he heard was his ragged breath and the squeak of his converse on the tile floor. He felt hot tears streak down his cheeks as he bounded down the staires and through the english wing of the school, he hiccups back a sob and rounds another corner. He slid to the floor tucking his knees into his chest, letting his tears soak into the knees of his jeans. He was use to his peers making fun of his studder, use to being called names for it, and expected it every single day he came to school. But to have a teacher shame you about it in front of your class, thats different.
He wrapped his arms tightly behind his head as memories from just moments before took complete control of his thoughts.
"Would you PLEASE, speak more clearly?"
"If you cant get through your presentation Bill youre going to have to sit down."
"Thank you for wasting our time."
Bill sobbed aloud now no longer able to keep how he felt in check, why couldn't people be more understanding? Why could they cut him some slack? Why couldnt people have more patience with him? Hes trying his best
He jumped when he felt someone gently touch his shoulder, abruptly looking up face stained with snot and tears.
"Hey you okay big Bill?" Richie asked Stan and Mike standing close behind him, he shook his head feeling discouraged about his speech after what happened.
"Whats going on?" Stan asked concern growing evident on the boys face as he sat down next to Bill on the floor; follow suit with Richie and Mike.
Bill shook his head again face twisting into a pained expression, tears squeezed past his closed eyes as he was pulled into Stans embrace.
"We cant help you unless you speak up Billy" Richie commented rubbing the others back softly, Bill looked to Mike and Richie both eagerly waiting for him to spill. He turned and looked up to Stan who just nodded a little, he sighed and wiped his face with his sleeve telling them all about his oral presentation and what the teacher had to say about it.
"I-im so f-f-fucking sick o-of this! I-i did years! Y-YEARS of therapy t-t-to f-fix it a-and its just n-n-n-" he bite his lip hard not able to get his final words out, he shook with anger face growing red. "FUCK!" he yelled making all his friends jump back, "i-i just w-w-want to b-be normal!"
"Nope" Richie said standing up taking Bill's hands in his making him stand too, he wrapped an arm around Bills lower back and started leading them to the front doors of the school. "I know exactly what will help in a situation like this" Richie beamed up at Bill pushing the titanium door to outside open, "Richie school isnt out for another 2 hours" Stan said from the door watching his friends head for the parking lot.
"Cant handle the heat get your ass out the kitchen" Richie said throwing a smile over his shoulder at the other.
"Were on a mission" Richie finished opening the passenger door to his truck for Bill, Stan rolled his eyes knowing exactly what that meant.
And thats how all 7 losers found themselves crammed into Richies 5 seat pick up, skipping class wasnt put of the ordinary for them but skipping class to driving out to the mountains was literally something they never did.
"I swear to god if the school calls my mom and tells her i was gone" Eddie said from his seat in Beverlys lap.
"Oh well be fine Eddie spaghetti" Richie said with a wide smile, gripping the leather of the steering wheel alittle.
"You think im kidding? Do you want a criminal record Richie? Cause my mom can make that happen."
"I second with Eddie what exactly are we doing?" Stan asked.
"Youll see with time im just waiting for the perfect song."
"The perfect song? I have an aux and my phone with me" Ben pitched in from the backseat, "no no this has got to be organic you cant forcing things like this."
"... What?!" Stan yelled leaning from his seat towards Richie, "what the hell are you doing with us? Where are we go-"
"Oh! Perfect!" Richie yelled throwing the radio on full blast making Stan scoff and roll his eyes, superstamp blaring through the car filling in what little room was left in the car. "Oh i love this song!" Mike yelled from behind Richie, "oh here we go again!" Richie and Mike sang in unison nodding to the beat making Richies wild black curls bounce.
"Ill give a little bit of my love to you!" Beverly and Ben chirped in with the others, Bens hands clasping on Bills shoulders who had yet to drop his seldom face.
Stan rolled his eyes before breaking into a smile, shaking and dancing a little in his seat bumping into Bill as he did so making him smile just a little for a moment.
"Theres so much that we need to share so send a smile and show you care!"
Everyone sang looking down at Bill.
"Ill give a little bit of my love to you!" Richie sang over everyone poking Bill in the side making him laugh, "come on Billy i know you love this song!" He teased
"Give a l-little biiit, ill g-give a little bit o-of my life to you!" He finally sang making everyone in the car smile wide.
Bill closed his eyes focusing on the music suddenly appreciating Richies shenanigans, letting the music fill his head and take away all his bad thoughts.
Mike started to aggressively play the air guitar while Eddie and Richie badly mimicked the saxophone solo making some laugh while the others vocalized with the choir before breaking back into song all together Bill leading them all. "Nows the time we need to share so find yourself were on our way back home! Oooh were going home!" Bill sang everyone else suddenly quiet, he smacked a hand over his mouth eyeing the rest of the group who only beamed back at him either laughing or starting to sing along with the radio again.
"No studdering" Richie smirked to himself, "thank me later" he said giving Bill a small side glance and a smile before focusing on the road again.
Bill smiled at his friend it was rare for Richie to have a genuinly good idea but when he did... Bill all but threw himself at Richies side hugging him tight, "thank you-" he muttered into Richies shirt who just patted his shoulder a little.
Despite the fact that not even 10 minutes ago he was crying and miserable, Bill felt better, his day perking up a little as another classic he loved started to blare from Richies speakers.
For once Bill felt normal.
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A/N: ugh this is way short and probably really bad but oh well! This is based off of 'Give a Little Bit by: Superstamp' if you didnt already know! I wrote this for @grownups-are-the-real-monsters who is actually one of my favorite blogs on this whole site aaah! SO I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ❤
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kasssiopeia · 7 years
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Final thoughts on NDRV3
posted under cut because spoilers!
So I want to write a little review for.. i dont even know whos gonna read that? probably nobody that still wants to play the game afterwards, haha. Anyway I felt like writing a final report on what I liked or... disliked, at least for the record I guess.
Starting with characters:
When I first watched the trailer, there were quite a few characters that caught my eye. Especially Yonaga and Amami, also Saihara and talent wise I was really looking forward to Ultimate Magician cause?? Nice? Also the promo pictures oh my.. Akamatsu and Harukawa?? Hell yeah. Saihara and Momota? Yeah alright! Amami and.. whos that again? Ah yes Ouma.. well I don’t really care but sure? (haha)
Actually playing the game made me think twice on a lot of characters really quickly. First of all I immediately fell in love with Chabashira and the fact that she and Akamatsu got along was just suuuper exciting!! Also Shinguuji seemed interesting but his story seemed a bit difficult for me to understand in Japanese. After getting to know Hoshi for a bit I also became really attached to this character cause he was kinda relatable for me? and I dont mean because of the same alias, I just felt his kinda nihilism and will to sacrifice himself for the others cause they have more “will to live” hit home really closely. I think if it were me, surely I’d behave similarly. Halfway through the story I suddenly realized I really love Ouma, I don’t even know how that happened cause at first I was kinda meh towards him but smh it happens quite often that characters who pissed me off before suddenly become my bias, soo we are stuck with him now I guess? but ill talk about him in more detail later. Saihara turned out to be a true “meh i dont really care about this guy” character, Harukawa was annoying cause in the end her behaviour changed nothing and it was just plain boring. Hagakure.. I mean Momota was same, and it was even worse that these two kinda became a romantic pair cause that just made them even more boring. I could only acknowledge Momota after it was found out that he agreed to Oumas plan.
Also I ended up disliking most of the other characters, ESPECIALLY Yumeno cause she was equally boring and useless and dont act like you ever cared about Chabashira cause Im not buying that. Angie WOULD have been interesting if she had killed someone after all, but yeah whatever. Shinguuji had the potential but they decided to completely fuck over his character in his trial.
The game mode:
Tbh at this point, I cant really complain much? I gotta say I disliked logic dive and forgot how its called.. the sword mode something something. But then again I played this on pc and I think both wouldve been a lot easier with a controller. Now lets look at brain drive, which works similar like logic dive and... what? i have to pick up sex workers? Saihara’s car is full of sexy ladies? WHAT
seriously i dont know what they were thinking but that just weirded me the fuck out. The rest wasnt so bad. The new game mode they brought in wasnt so bad, relatively easy to win but to this day id need so much more time to figure out how to clear every block. The showdown thing?? pretty shit. I liked panic talk action in the previous games, but now it became a button mashing rhythm game that was.. pretty difficult aint gonna lie. Also the fact that you literally tear off their clothes until they are half naked in the end.. what. the. fuck.  Climax logic was alright, but the pictures got really tiny i think? sometimes it was hard to get what was going on unless you read the description. Scrum debatte was great, and the new feature to lie? ... Meh. Smh from the trailer I got the impression that i could either lie or tell the truth. Maybe I was just too stupid to do that, but i dont think i ever had a choice to do either. If someone was able to do different, please tell me cause I was a bit disappointed. Ah also, weak point panic talk(?) where you have to listen to many characters at first. if im not wrong it was introduced as something only Akamatsu can do? because of her musical ear I mean. Well guess that was a lie,
The trials:
Probably THE main thing in dangan ronpa I mean hey we all came here to enjoy a little murder mystery right? (jk im here to romance the characters in peace mode) Let’s say I wasn’t... too impressed with them.
The first trial was pretty interesting, well done too, if it WASNT for the point that the player character herself was the killer and got executed. Wait what, you just took my character away? after the FIRST trial? Yes exactly. I’m not sure what they were thinking except adding a bit more drama and man pain for Saihara but ill write more to that later. At the end of this trial, everyone cried more for the killer than for the victim just because her motive was something as noble as “I knew we wouldnt make it in time so one of us had to kill someone.”
second trial was... incredibly weird and unnecessarily cruel, and I’m not saying this because Hoshi is my bias. Okay maybe I am. But seriously first he gets drowned and then his corpse is eaten by piranhas so theres not even anything left of him anymore? The whole creating a ropeway with a pool floating thing just felt weird to me as well but sure I wrote it off as “after two games theyll eventually run out of ways”. Speaking about the motive... it was similar to the first murder in dr1, but the fact that Toujou turned out to be some president of a country (if I got that right, I was bored and didnt bother checking unknown words) and she wanted to get out to save her people just.. what? And I said this before but I dont believe that Hoshi just “let himself get killed”. Why’d he fight for his life otherwise and leave all those scratch marks on a fucking stone sink? After the trial, again, nobody cried for the victim, they were all ridden on the killers noble idea of getting out.... okay? what
the third trial!! hell yeah!! that was finally one i could really enjoy, despite my waifu getting killed (but she was beautiful until the end). I actually dont know what really got me to like this murder, but the fact that it was definitely plausible maybe helped. Also when it happened right in front of everyone was just really exciting! The trial was... good, until Shinguujis “real identity” was revealed. His motive was pretty gross, I mean the fact that hes romantically in love with his sister and kills for her, which also implied hes a serial killer just.. idk that was weird, but FINALLY they didnt cry for the killer but for the victims.
trial four was a PAIN to get to, istg this stupid game world pissed me off to the point where i didnt  wanna play anymore, also cause i heavily suspected Ouma to do something and I didnt want him gone haha. The death itself turned out to be pretty interesting (tbh i wouldve never thought theyd kill of a ero character like Iruma! ) so I’d say i liked this trial.
Dude trial five!!! hyped me up so much. I was so torn between hoping Ouma is the killer and also Ouma being the victim... if I ignore the stupid romance interval between Harukawa and Momota, I could even say this was my favorite trial. But it also heavily reminded me of Komaeda’s trial which was a bit.. weird. I got pretty pissed that in the end, Momota didnt go through with Oumas plan, therefore making his death basically useless.  But boy the trial gave me so  many Ouma feels, so that was nice...
The sixth and final trial... where do I even start? Well its where the whole plot comes to an end right? And the kotodama looked pretty interesting, just like the build up but then.. I understand that 4th wall breaking is cool, but do it too much or at the wrong time and its just a pain in the ass.
The trial almost had me throw away my ps vita in frustration also it was so boring i ended up skipping a lot of dialogue cause what are you even trying to get at? Not even the end or some more 4th wall breaking could fix this and literally until the end i was so bored that i just skipped through so i could unlock bonus mode... i almost feel like telling everyone, dont play this game now lol.
The story
If the beginning had you wondering, isnt that normal for all dr games? at least i thought so. normal game, normal killing, great. But the new main character! Akamatsu was pretty lovable. I enjoyed the way she brought in her talent into conversations (and left others stunned cause they couldnt relate). She was just really refreshing to play as, just the small romance-y sections with Saihara were boring (but at this point i thought its just being friends so okay) . Compared to Naegi who was seen by the others mostly as a “loser” or weakling who sometimes says something good, and Hinata whom everyone really liked, Akamatsu seemed to me like having some people who really trust her, and those who are somehow against her. AND THAT FELT RIGHT.
Too bad she literally gets killed as the murderer during the FIRST trial and replaced by Saihara who evidentally gives off a ~Naegi vibe~. Seriously why would you even do that.. It was stupid as heck, but the only good thing is that it saved us from possible Saihara and Akamatsu love story.
Continuing, Saihara loses some of his weakness thanks to Momota, and also it is hinted that Ouma can’t really be trusted or can he...? Cause what he did that was thought to be evil and possibly harmful for the others actually turned out to be a way to at least prevent one killing. After that I got the feeling that he actually grew just a little bit closer to the group and became even more helpful again.
Then we have these weird scenes with Harukawa and Momota, which are just weird and Harukawa herself was a boring character, but if you care for some tragic background and forseeable character development that of course has to end with romantic feelings, sure.
The student council thing to prevent murders from happen was actually pretty interesting and i wish theyd gone through with that just a bit more, but it was a nice turn of events.
Talking about Ouma, the moment you think hes on your side, theres this weird scene with him and Monokuma and you know somethings up. I made a post about this earlier too, wishing for him to double cross everyone and eventually turn out good, but that suddenly turned into a pretty far fetched wish after the fourth trial where hes portrayed as ultra evil and later on reveals that hes the mastermind (wait, is he really? should his black and white clothing scheme have given him away sooner?)
i guess i... didnt mind it so much except for the fact that Ouma wont appear that often anymore. he even goes as far as to say that the killing game is over, but isnt it kinda boring that the character who hinted that he was evil, turns out to be evil after all? Well a lot of things in this game were a bit boring, so... sure. We even learn that Ouma is a remnant of despair and what?? how does that even make sense. If they are supposedly students of the new Kibougamine Gakuen which was built by Naegi, Junko and Despair wouldve long been dead! Alright then? Oh yes also the whole setting ins in SPACE and those students are the last 16 humans from earth who were put in cryosleep until they reached a new planet to live on. Oh...kay? Why not I mean.
For Hope to win, everyone sets out to kill Monokuma to finally make the Killing game end for real and.. look, Ouma is helping them! Somehow that is really giving me hope for his character even if his insane laugh and incredibly creepy sprite (seriously what the fuck) are a bit unsettling...
And then.. who wouldve thought? Another killing happens but this time with a twist. Ouma wasnt actually the ultra bad guy everyone thought and guess what! Hes not even the mastermind! Thats my son. I was super happy that some faith in Ouma was restored, even tho his plan to snuff out the true mastermind reminded me of Komaeda going crazy to single out the traitor... especially cause there are quite a few similarities between those two.
So for the final trial, it seems that there are quite a few hints linking to the true mastermind being Enoshima... again? How did she even get here. But theres some weird plan from the government and the fact that Monokuma is here as well might be that someone implanted some sort of virus like in sdr2? We also know that theres definitely someone who is watching the whole killing game. And thats... where it all goes to shit.
This dangan ronpa is the 53rd installment and the people watching are actually dangan ronpa fans! surprise youre all just fictional characters who chose to be here, and so is every other dangan ronpa character! nothing is real, you dont even really exist! lololol
do i need to say any more
I think that was the worst plot twist ive ever seen? You couldve just somehow figured something out, even make it a reality tv show for crying out loud but not some bullshit like ohh the dangan ronpa fans wanna see you despair! they wanna see you have hope!
fuck. off.
if it wasnt for that ending, that game wouldve been a solid 7/10 I’d say, especially with the last 3 chapters really getting me fired up. But that shit.. Its a literal, oh we just made this game cause you fans wanted it? we didnt actually wanna make this but you keep asking for more?
HOW ABOUT YOU DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE
im gonna go romance ouma in peace mode now bye
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