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thewrongexecution · 5 years

Text

Scrambled Thoughts

hey how does bein’, like. exited about a thing, but coherently, work? ‘cos like. P5S was announced, and it’s not what some people necessarily wanted or expected, but. I think it’ll be good? in ways those same disappointed folks might enjoy, but aren’t necessarily considering? man where do I even start with this

(long)

so way back in the day, when the Wii U was still relevant, Koei Tecmo came out with Hyrule Warriors basically outta nowhere. now, I never played any warriors games and I think my first zelda was Twilight Princess? Skyward Sword? spent plenty of time watching my brother play them titles and consider majora’s mask one of the greatest games of all time, but I ain’t never touched ‘em, and because I already experienced them vicariously, ain’t ever likely to. but I was big on diablo, on that experience of mowing down hordes of enemies with a big overpowered hero, so I was like, yeah, sure I’ll keep an eye out

(maybe I was able to latch onto Hyrule Warriors because I was more invested in the characters and story than the gameplay? I don’t know how zelda fans recieved it; I wasn’t as deep in The ‘Net as I am now. doesn’t matter.)

turns out just about everything in that game is great. the long-term gameplay isn’t anything to write home about; it’s all level grinding and weapons farming, but like it’s not necessarily a game for that. it’s a buncha dumb fun! hit things with big flashy attacks! watch actual dozens of bodies ragdoll off into the distance! play as your favorite heroes and and villains and then also some npcs we added for the hell of it!

That, see, is what I remember about Hyrule Warriors. the whole draw of the game, what I love about it, is the warriors and their weapons and their fighting style and fighting with style. like, each character can have multiple weapons, and each weapon is its own moveset-- relatively simple, but still pretty involved, and built around slaughtering a buncha dudes really flashily. and it just-- they went through like every zelda game, and went like, who’s important and how do they fight, and then they made them ALL fun to play as

there are forty two fighting styles to choose from and none of them are bad

actually no that’s a lie; the dominion rod, the summon gates, and agitha’s parasols are bad. maybe also the great fairy and sometimes the wind waker? and I never unlocked all the toon-era weaponry, but it doesn’t matter because there are like thirty-five other ways to play That Are All Fun

that’s the first thing. the second thing, which you may have noticed from the list of weapons I don’t much care for, is that some of these weapons get way dumb. like agitha’s parasols. you remember agitha, right? from twilight princess? the incidental, out-of-the-way npc with the completely optional sidequest to find extremely rare bugs? the character that hangs out at home all day and does not interact with any character outside of link? yeah lets make her a playable character in a game where you literally beat up entire armies, she can hit people with a shitty umbrella and also summon bugs, like a giant beetle to crush people with or a giant butterfly to ride on and dive-bomb, that makes sense lol

and the thing is! I think that’s great! it’s legitimately hilarious! and she’s viable!!! I don’t like her fighting style; she’s short range with long recovery times and her special mode relies on getting enemies airborne to actually hit anything with-- but she’s not unusable, her inclusion is a joke but she’s not a joke character, y’know?

and then they went ahead and did that with like every character and every weapon in the zelda series. like Impa, you know Impa, right? protector of the royal line, shows up in Ocarina of Time to teach you a lullaby, never actually displays any combat skills on screen? let’s give her one-a them slab-of-metal ultragreatswords, that seems reasonable. sheik plays a harp and is mysterious, let’s turn them into a ninja with kunai and shit and also a magic harp which does magic based on the songs from OoT that they teach you. how ‘bout Fi, the ghost inside the master sword that exists primarily to interrupt you with unskippable dialogue? well, she can turn into a sword, sure, but her main form of attack is interpretative dance, you know, like she does when you beat a temple. or the king of hyrule, who is a boat! very aggressively. hey why don’t we turn volvagia into a dude with a spear who can just turn back into a dragon while we’re at it

and that’s not even touching link, who has:

sword (obvious)

horse (obvious)

fire rod (flamethrower, giant laser, and most powerfully, axe)

great fairy (carries link in a bottle)

spinner (niche late-game mobility tool from Twilight Princess; 3rd best weapon in Warriors)

and gauntlets (support item that lets you carry heavy things throughout the series; 2nd best weapon in Warriors)

(the best weapon is ganon’s dual greatswords, but that’s aside the point)

and as though that wasn’t enough, they invented Link But A Girl so they could include the iron boots, which makes sense, and, fuckin’, dual crossbows.

you know, crossbows? link’s iconic weapon? that he uses exactly once?? in the game link’s crossbow training??? a throwaway motion-control-centric game for the wii???????

now. everyone is different. so I feel the need to clarify.

all of that? that’s praise. that’s adoration. this game is a love-letter to the zelda series, all of the zelda series, no matter how ridiculous, because it’s ridiculous. I love that, I aspire to that! to that dedication, that passion for a thing, the ability to take a joke and make it real, to make you forget it’s a joke because of how good it is. like when they announced pirahna plant for smash brothers, and then made him good? that emotion, informing the design of an entire game. let me stick this flail in the ground, and then use it to swing the entire earth around to hit you with, and then also, incidentally, because Link’s Awakening existed, because we can, the flail is a chain chomp!!

VIDEOGAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

and then I think

the people that made that

are doing one with persona

and people have the gall to be disappointed?

like, no, okay, I know, that’s too harsh. I know this isn’t what everyone wanted. I know some feel lied to and betrayed, and my inability to relate to that means y’all might not relate to this. and I know the excitement I feel now is the same as the excitement y’all felt before y’all got let down. I know that.

and yet...

if these guys can pull 42 different combat styles outta the legend of zelda series, from people without even theoretical combat experience, and then you give them the cast of persona 5?

like yakuza man, who's in the yakuza? or guns child, who dual-wields guns? or the doctor, who plausibly has needles and scalpels and doctor-y stuff? or the already extremely anime shogi player, who, fuck it, let’s turn her into a summoner archetype, run people down with cavalry an’ shit! or the fortune teller, she reads tarot, let’s arbitrarily give her tarot-based powers, drop The Tower on some hapless goons, doesn’t gotta make sense if it’s fun!!

VIDEOGAMES!!!

but maybe that’s unreasonable.

I dunno how much creative control nintendo exerted over hyrule warriors, I dunno how much atlus is gonna exert over P5S. maybe they want a more serious experience, maybe chihaya won’t be playable. chihaya being playable doesn’t make sense, and I know that, that’s fine

but even then

I also think

persona 4 arena had the 4 in it

but they still had dudes from 3

you know

we’ll see.

#VIDEOGAMES #long post #blatant speculation #persona 5 #p5s #basically: I am excited and hopeful #but I know that might be unfounded #and my hope and excitement do not negate whatever you're feelin'#but I also hope you can overcome frustration at what this isn't #and take it for what it may be and will be #even if what it ends up being is Not Great #also worth pointing out:#this doesn't preclude P5 onna switch #(it could be a means to gauge the profitability of a p5 switch release #''do enough switch users care enough about a spinoff to drop the full thing?''#but I dunno if that's how people in business think)

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