#defining my sexuality is by like.. trying to cope with the core wound and tiptoe around it. but even after i heal from it fully (if i ever d

[pepprs]

how did you know you were a lesbian ? not to Dump but i've always been attracted to girls but have no idea if i'm attracted to men. how do you not overthink it ?

HI!!! omg thank u for reaching out abt this and sorry ive kept u waiting for like half a yr 😩 (but also this is good timing bc i can say HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! i hope ur doing well and celebrating!) i uhmmmm don’t know how much help i can be in answering this bc i thought i was a lesbian a couple yrs ago but then i realized i actually am not (im bi) so you might want to ask a lesbian and they can help u figure things out from a more relevant standpoint than i can. BUT i will say that like.. sigh. my journey to figuring out my sexuality has been painful and confusing and honestly… the way i approach it now is i just don’t think about it / talk about it anymore or at least as much as i used to lol. i think when i was younger and first realizing that i like (and had always liked) girls i was desperate to give it a definition so i would feel less alone in it and hate myself less for being “weird” and “different” for liking girls if it was in a way that other ppl had in common / gave a name to. and part of that was me first thinking i was bi, then questioning if i was a lesbian, then thinking i was a lesbian. but then… like not to say this bc it’s so horrible but it’s literally true and the reason why all of this happened. i got into some super fucked up arguments with my mom abt my sexuality that gave me irreversible brain damage and i just like stopped questionining mysef / thinking abt my sexuality for like a yr and a half bc it was too painful / existential / etc. and then when i was ready to come back to thinking abt it i was like yeah im not going to read too much into the atteaction i had / have anymore bc after what happened it’s exhausting and painful to analyze what it is and determine if it’s actually comphet and like it felt / feels like attraction to me in some way shape or form so im just gonna go with it bc that’s how i identified when i first came to terms w not being straight and it feels right right now. so that’s kinda how im doing it.. just feeling my way. and if it changes again it changes again (bc i think sexuality is fluid and it’s ok to like change ur mind try different things etc) but atp im too like wounded from how everything went down w my mom in 2019 (and also like… before and after that but esp 2019) to think abt it again. but obviously that’s just me and a lot of ppl figure themselves out differently so if anyone sees this and wants to add thoughts please go ahead!! i wish u the best of luck anon 💓

#purrs #the mortifying ordeal of having impostor syndrome abt my sexuality lol. and also like cringing at myself bc rn it’s all abt just absorbing t #the damage (which arguably wasn’t even that bad) and coping with it. but yeah no i think i just.. like for me i was trying too hard to #analyze it and then my mom (and her gay friend that she brought into the conversation unprompted) basically guilt tripped me out of thinking #i knew anything abt my sexuality bc ive never been in a relationship before and crushes don’t count and that was may 2019 and there were oth #other episodes in there too over the years and in that year specifically that just.. really did a number on me. so right now the way i am #defining my sexuality is by like.. trying to cope with the core wound and tiptoe around it. but even after i heal from it fully (if i ever d #do) i think im bi and not a lesbian and im not going to think about it more than i feel like i need to . so yeah that’s me but i do kinda #feel like a fake and also cringe abt answering this LOL… like anon i promise you you are not dumping bc look at me ! but i appreciate u #asking and also like a lot of ppl on here helped me thru all of that stuff a couple yrs ago so this is kinda a follow up if ur interested in #knowing how im thinking abt it these days. i’ll stop rambling now but ty again anon im rooting for u and i hope u have a happy pride month 💗 #delete later #asks #long post tw #ask to tag