#don't want anybody who's blocked tags like this to run into this post on accident

[braindeadskeletons]

Hey guys so I know you might be a little confused to see a ‘brain speaks’ again but this one is kinda important. I’m really sorry if this disappointing to anybody but I just need to get this off of my chest. I’ll try to keep it short. I’ll probably fail at that but here we go either way.

TW: Mental Health issues (Depression specifically)

 I’m gonna be taking a break so that I can sort some shit out with my noggin. The poor hun has been literally screaming at me for days to actually sit down and take the time for myself that I need. I’ve been stretching myself out too thin in order to please people and I guess it’s come back to bite me in the ass. I’m sorry to those people who need me and are seeing this. I’m too tired. Please try to understand that. 

I’m sorry if this breaks any sort of “image” anybody had of me before because I tried really hard to keep it. I really did. Please believe me when I say I tried for as long as I could. This isn’t some shit where I’m gonna be super emo and say something insanely depressing like “This isn’t the real me” because that isn’t true. My online personality is actually who I am but it’s a glorified version of it. It’s been getting kind of exhausting to keep up and I think I’ll be gone for a bit due to the exhaustion of that + recent events in my personal life. 

I don’t know how long I’ll be gone if I’m being honest? I’m trying to be better about not forcing myself to do stuff I don’t want to do. And this blog is my absolute pride and joy but at the moment it’s been on that list of ‘golly gee i need a b r e a k’. I really don’t want to do this because I have so many people who have told me themselves that this is where they go to cheer themselves up and I’ve been trying to maintain that tone but I just can’t. I was honestly going to just cover this up with a “UwU gotta go I need a break be back in three days~” thing but I figured I should just cut the shit. I need to actually address these issues that I’m dealing with instead of just offering myself up as some emotional support dog you know? It’s time that I focus on liking myself more than I currently do. I want to come back as the person a lot of friends have told me that they see me as. This happy girl who loves what she does, never fails to have a smile, and never stops trying to rise others up. I want to be deserving of that description. For real this time. I want to feel like I deserve the love that I get on a daily basis.

And in order to feel that way I need to take a step back and figure some stuff out.

To my friends: Please don’t worry. I’m working on it. I’m gonna be better before you know it. I’ll still be talking to some people but if I seem more tired than usual I guess you know why now, huh?

Again I’m so sorry that I’m letting some people down right now who’ve depended on me so far. I just can’t keep doing it.

I love you all and I’ll be back before you know it. I promise <3

#Brain Speaks #depression mention #mental health mention #tw #tw warning #tell me if i need to add any tags #i've never really posted anything like this before and i want to make sure everybody is safe and taken care of. #don't want anybody who's blocked tags like this to run into this post on accident #real garbage hours folks #be back at it again whenever i figure stuff out #thank you so much for sticking with me this far #i'll likely still be active on discord and acting as i normally would #self isolation cant be good for me yk? #so if you see me there that's mainly why #just trying to brighten myself up a bit