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rocketturtle4 · 9 months

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Eclipse in progress part 2

Okay so I've only seen two more episodes and I kind of had in my head I'd watch till the end of 8 before writing anymore because I have the time but episode 7 just one two suckerpunched my feelings so I need to go regulate.

For the record while I'm a sucker for crying I get WAY MORE OVERWHELMED when things are bitter sweet and this episode is whoooooooaaaaaa

@wen-kexing-apologist @plantsarepeopletoo @grapejuicegay also @thegalwhorants I'm basically gonna @ you cause you interacted with my eclipse stuff, let me know if you'd rather I didn't

So some thoughts

I had forgotten about Namo he could also have stolen the diary and I think logistically this makes mroe sense because he is in a different year level so not expected to be in class BUT where did he get the key? Whereas Thua being class president potentially gives him key acces idk and I still feel like there's more layers

We still really haven't gotten background on anyone which is why I wasn't going to post yet so my theories havent changed much except

TURNS OUT AKK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CAR

Did both Ayan and his uncle have a necklace? I'm really unsure about whether or not Ayan legit saw his suicide or has just vividally imagined it but n the dreams they're both wearing it whereas I had previously assumed Ayan was wearing his uncles necklace.

Namo also seems to genuinely believe in the curse so where did this rumour come from, I don't feel like it's NEW, did Akk hear it and just capitalise on it? or has someone else being doing this in the past? Is it passed down from the head prefect

also Khan and Wat are prefects were they indoctrinatinated by candelight??

1984 stuff was WAY LESS SUBTLE than I was expecting when Akk first found that book

Ayan convincing Akk he needs to 'tell the truth' and Akk being woried about his family and his reputation is obviously legit but also feels like a coming out metaphor ngl

Khan thinking Ayan is playing with Akk and Thua but gently confronting it rather than getting jealous made me appreciate him even more

ALSO THE POWER DYNAMICS in the framing of Ayan and Neo’s convo on the stairs, Neo is SO MUCH HIGHER and yet from the loew position Ayan managed to be confident and understanding.

IM SORRY ARE THESE CHILDREN EXPECTED TO WEAR THEIR BLAZERS REGARDLESS OF TEMPERATURE????

The three prefects convo was interesting when you consider the queer metaphor of the fact that Wat (so far) ISNT queer and is the one most openly empathetic to the protests, because he doesn't have the same personal stake as our gay boys

I want to know what wanna-be-prefect Nom and Aye think of the three prefects clearly non-prefect behaviour.

FUCK Firsts Goofy Smile is nearly as good as his doe eyes

Akk is way to relatable help me

god they're so proud this is gonna hurt

As a person who silently cries VERY SIMILARLY to Ayan (and just Khao in general because he cried like this on TC as well) I feel VERY SEEN by the way his tears just fall

HOW CAN I BE RELATING TO BOTH CHARACTERS HERE

I spent way to long examining the order of the boys and realising that Aye and Namo had swapped places

and that arguably you're more vulnerable when you're sleeping

THis ENTIRE SCENE

the interchanging eye opening

they both think each other was asleep

he's never really sleeping is one of my FAVOURITE tropes for forwarding a relationship and they doube whammied it but this one was CRAZY BECAUSE ITS NOT GOING TO FORWARD IT

Khan looked SO HAPPY TO HAVE KISSED HIM WAAAAAAAAH

DOUBLE WHAMMY

I have taken way to many screenshots and I can't believe episode 6 was a dream kiss and then episode 7 left us hanging but I'm still stopping for a bit. Have a few more moments that punched me in the gut

bye for now.

#The Eclipse #MY EMOTIONS #rturts is wondering #roc reacts to the eclipse #the eclipse the series

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ko2vo · 11 months

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Happy pride month everyone!

I am one year post-op from my top surgery as of May 18th and I figured I'd post an update for anyone curious (the one from my 6 weeks post-op is here):

It's all healed quite nice! Very happy and very hairy lol the scarred area is numb, I'm generally a ticklish person but that whole area is a similar sensation to getting freezing done for dental work. Nipples also without sensation for the most part; my left nip is kind of tender and bruiselike in feeling when a moderate amount of pressure is applied.

At the beginning of healing, I was having some ingrown chest hair but that's mostly settled. When I stretch, I can feel my "seams" and where the skin was stitched together pulling.

Which I actually wanna highlight a bit - during your first 1-3 months post-op, you're advised to be minimal on movement and heal, even if you are technically cleared to go back to normal activity. I had to go back to work, which was a very manual job. For some reason, I took a lot of care to not overuse my dominant right side:

As a result, the scar is very thin and pale on that side. However, I began to use my left side a lot and one day, I felt something pop I guess you could say:

The pink-red streak is where my scar was stretched on my left side during healing. I don't care too much but something to keep in mind! There is a lot of discussion about how scars will stretch if you don't take it easy while healing but not a ton of visuals so I wanted to show what happened to me (if you stretch more, the larger and darker your scar will become).

This overuse of my left side might also be the reason my left nip can't handle pressure. It is what it is!

But yes! Overall, very happy! It was a busy busy year for me and getting surgery really helped me live more freely. I got a better job, I began to volunteer, I just moved to a new city and I am beginning my Masters this fall - there's a lot I was able to do this year that I had wanted to do earlier but couldn't, due to the double whammy of dysphoria-depression and physical exhaustion from binding so much.

It's a scary time to be trans. Politics are real bad right now. I want to do more as a trans person and trans artist. I'd been shy about being queer and proud in the past but I think it's becoming more important to me to be an advocate and inform others in whatever small ways I am able to. Even if it's just drawing silly comics or sharing my life.

Thank you for reading!

#korvo talks #trans stuff #my life is in boxes at the moment but hopefully i can unpack my tablet this weekend

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mattzerella-sticks · 2 years

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I got it!

I've been trying to pin down exactly WHAT it was about Jensen's facial expressions regarding the 'seeing gay people' scene and I think I have it.

We know, from interviews, it was supposed to be a moment showcasing Soldier Boy's bigoted nature. However, Jensen being Jensen, took this a lot more nuanced. Which is why his expression gave me a more, "Well... okay?" instead of "Dis-gus-ten!"

But now that I've had time to digest and think about what that kind of affection might mean to Soldier Boy, and to people of that era especially at the time he was kidnapped.

To him, any amount of homosexual action is sexual. I think he was of the generation and of the status that you don't do it publicly you do it behind closed doors, like how the Legend was referencing when talking about his escapades. It's less of being gay and more of "wow, a man kissing another man in public? I'm immediately thinking that's sexual and weird you'd just do it so openly like that but whatever I got other things to do thantry and shame you." It's very much how a lot of people who are bigoted today see homosexuality of any kind being sexual and why they're trying to create laws to ban discussion of LGBT+ topics in schools because they're considered 'adult' even though there's no difference between a man and a woman kissing and a man and a man kissing.

I think there's also a layer of the affection being so open and adoring between two men because he's like "You're embarrassing yourselves in public" which ties into the toxicity of Soldier Boy's masculine beliefs. Men don't show their emotions and here are two men showing affection in public which is like a double whammy to him. He's like 'boy men have gotten soft if they're doing shit like this'. In that sense it becomes more than his reaction to homosexuality but also to modern masculinity, which is why they had him crossing paths with two queer men and not two queer women because you know that'd be different interaction as he'd try to leer instead of look passively confused and disgruntled.

Finally there's probably a "there are still some of you out there?" because we know he hung out with Reagan and was alive in the 80s he probably figured AIDS would have - to someone at the time with similar beliefs - 'taken care of the homosexual population and lifestyle'. Maybe not full death but so few they'd all go back in the closet and not disrupt the status quo and cycle.

And this was all came to mind because Jensen shook his head and laughed softly under breath...

#the boys #the boys s3 #jensen ackles #soldier boy #not to write so much about one character because everyone else has so much going on #but this has been bothering me and at least i can now put words to it

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queerregulusablack · 1 year

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watching s2 of young royals today and honestly the thing about how adults make shows abt minors having sex is cool but ff isn’t….. literally a major plot point in this show is that a sex tape of minors gets spread, and i’ve never seen anyone question the morality of having that in a show?? everyone loves this show (or at least the ’minors having sex on screen’ isn’t why they don’t). double standards🙌🏻 don’t even get me started on call me by your name lmao

See, the thing about this argument is; yeah! You're entirely correct. There is a massive double standard in fandom when it comes to underage sex in paid fiction - TV, published books, comics, movies - verses when it appears in fanfiction. Euphoria is a really big one for this, because those underage characters are also constantly having sex, but there's no massive stink raised about adults writing that script either.

(CMBYN had the double whammy of a 17 year old having explicit sex AND the age gap of the main pairing which no one seems bothered by. It's a little different to my eyes - living in the UK, the age of consent is 16, so I don't see the underage aspect there - but it's another example of a typically American fandom ignoring their supposed morals when it's harder to get their hands on the creators/the work itself includes everyone's favourite skinny white boy, Timmy.)

But the real problem at the heart of this moralistic, puritanical campaign against underage sex depicted in fanfiction, is how twitter fucking loves to call it child porn. Because it's not.

Calling explicit underage sex in fanfiction child porn isn't just harmful to actual victims of it, but it also encourages the idea that queerness in inherently explicit/nsfw/unacceptable to greater society; because the fanfic that gets this pushback? Is overwhelmingly queer-created, and featuring queer-pairings.

This piling on encourages the idea that the mere existence of queer teenagers is nsfw, and it does so much harm, especially when trans kids are suffering so much already. A person might argue 'oh well stop writing that we're having sex at 16 then'; except that's real life. And everyone who was once sixteen knows it.

There is nothing unrealistic about writing teenagers having sex. When I was a teenager almost everyone in my class started having sex at fourteen. I had my first ever dramatic wlw breakdown at 14 when my best friend - who I had not yet realised I was in love with - admitted she'd had sex with her boyfriend, again, at fourteen years old.

So it's not unrealistic. It's not child porn, because that's a very real and harmful crime that affects real life children; and as a reminder, is a crime, and so would not be allowed on AO3 if that's what it was.

If the problem is the ages of those creating the work in question, I have two points.

First; if all underage smut was written by sixteen year olds, it would suck. That's not a judgement, it's just a fact. At sixteen you don't have enough life experience to know what good sex feels like, let alone how to write it well so everyone enjoys reading it. From all the 'im just gonna separate the artist from the art' rhetoric out there, it's clear that people get this point already. It's good fic. It's good because of the years of life and writing experience. The problem is the age of the creator. Which brings me to point number two.

Second; the people coming after writers for underage smut are cowards, and they're hypocrites. I don't feel like sugarcoating it any more. Twitter has been quite gleefully gloating about threatening some people's children, so there it is; cowards and hypocrites.

You will quite happily come after small creators on the internet BC they're in their 30s, but the 40-50 year old men having actors who represent underage teens in their shows get their tits out? The actors themselves, performing underage sex? Nah.

It's hypocrisy at its finest. If your morals do extend to shows like Euphoria, it's cowardice, because you're only throwing your weight around here, behind anon, where there are no big consequences for you being a little bitch.

The double standards are exhausting. The sad part about them is how few people recognise their own double standards. Sadder still is that their reaction, most likely, would be 'then I should stop watching these shows' instead of 'well then I should leave these people alone'.

I hope you're enjoying your show though, dear anon. I've not got around to watching Young Royals but the premise does make me 👀 I'll admit.

#owl post #old man yells at cloud #another day another discourse post #thank you for the visit feel free to come back <3

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rantingcrocodile · 2 years

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I need to vent. I work for a medical center as a new employee, and we had to do some training videos at the computers. One of the videos was about respecting patients who are from the LGBTQA+2xwhatever, and as a bi woman I immediately thought, "Oh boy, here we go."

It started out innocent enough, but as the video went on and on, I realize it was super heavy on protecting trans people's feelings and identity over all the other acronyms of the group. It talked about NB people, agenders and gender-queer, and of course trans women who are black and living in poverty. I don't have an issue over talking about trans women or trans people in general who DO face issues such as not being able to access high quality medical care just because they don't have a lot of money, but the video seemed very aggressive and chastising and it ended with a snobby "I hope you all learned something from all of this today."

It talked about nothing of the B or the L or the G, except that employees aren't allowed to say the word homosexual, or that bisexuals are attracted to both sexes, instead we have to say that bi people are attracted to more than one gender. It barely spoke about men who have sex with other men, in fact it almost seemed like it was trying it's best NOT to explicitly talk about gay or bi men. Oh, and any attention about bi women and what we go through? Absolutely zero information about it. Lesbians also had nothing, except that we shouldn't assume that a patient's lesbian partner was born a female. 🤡

I'm not gonna lie but I'm just so jaded and envious that the T has ALL OF THIS support from everyone around them while bi people in general have nearly nothing to help us. I've known bisexuals who went through so many horrors in life and nobody makes training videos about us or how to be sensitive to our issues or our oppression. Nobody cries over bisexual women when we get bashed for having a girlfriend or a wife, nobody cries over bi men getting stabbed by murderous straight men, or that we have less money than other people of other orientations and we also cannot always access to high quality care unless we had backup like a rich family member somewhere to lean on.

I feel like I should not complain because I have some privileges in life that makes up for me being born bisexual and a woman, but... I don't know. I was really uncomfortable with what I've witnessed today and it hurts that this is something that is never going to get better for people like you and me.

It's horrible out there for anyone who doesn't solely fall under the T, and there's no support anywhere for bisexuals. If you don't happen to stumble across your own bisexual friend group, you're pretty much screwed.

You're always more than welcome to vent here, but what you are not going to do is minimise how you're feeling.

Privilege and oppression are not mathematics. You can't add and subtract privilege and oppression like a numbers game. They're simply individual points of privilege and oppression that you navigate in your own personal circumstances, and no privilege "makes up" for any kind of oppression. You only believe that because you've been taught that as both a woman and a bisexual that you're supposed to be silent and put everyone else before yourself. Because you're a bisexual woman, that's a double-whammy of demanded silence, obedience and denying your own needs so that you can be trained to serve others. Although it's hard work, you have to break free of that mindset and build your own boundaries.

The second thing is that it is going to get better. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not a few years from now, but it will get better.

If it's never going to get better, then what's the fight for? Why even care? If it's never going to improve, why not just lay down and take it all? What we go through now is wrong. Unfortunately, because everyone else has (had) their spotlight and we haven't, we have to start from the very basics.

There's a lot of scoffing about activism online, but you can't deny the power in this. I've made friends with people in this space who have admitted to starting by hate following me because they were so entrenched in their internalised biphobia and thought I had to be writing complete trash - right until their lightbulbs went off and they're now more accepting of their bisexuality. Just through conversations. Do you realise how empowering that is? Reaching a single person to relook at their own situation and then actually starting on the path to demanding better for themselves?

If you speak up, then you can make a difference. No single person can change the world, but if you can make a difference to one person, then that's the greatest start that there is. They can help another. It's all one long chain, and we're all links in that, one step at a time.

Have faith, speak up and demand better. When you do that, others will have the courage to speak up too, and then they learn that they can demand better, too.

That's how we make change. Small steps first, and then one day, someone much more impressive and important will learn and have the resources to teach more on a much grander scale.

It's about being realistic, not fatalistic.

#crocodilian answers #<3

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firebirdscratches · 3 years

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im a (cisgender) teenage boy. I'm fat and a girl at school told me i need a bra and sing-songed "tits and lipstick, tits and lipstick, you're gonna be all tits and lipstick!"

Hey! I am so sorry that happened to you. Bullying fucking sucks. And it’s a double whammy, because she’s body shaming you, but also being queer/transphobic as fuck. Even if it’s directed at a cis person, that’s still gross of her. I used to do musical theatre with a friend in school - we were both heavy, and he got made fun of really badly for it. The same kind of thing. Anyway, now he’s happily married to the man of his dreams, making bank working for the Disney company, and he’s a successful published author. High school isn’t forever. You’ve got so many great things coming your way. Your pain is absolutely valid, and I wish I could wave a wand and make it go away. But know, way down deep in your bones, that this is 100% a problem with her, and not a problem with you. You are great exactly the way you are. Your body is great exactly the way it is. And you have so many good days ahead of you. Strategies for if she does it again? Turn it around on her. Try some of these, maybe: “Yeah, I’m fat. But at least I’m not a bullying asshole.” “So? How is that your problem? Worry about your own body, Tiffany.” “Huh. You seem really preoccupied with my gender, Sue Ellen. I wonder why you’re so obsessed with me?” “That was really transphobic and fatphobic, Jennifer. Comments like that are really shallow and spiteful.” “Well Brittney, I guess you better lend me your bra then, but fair warning, I probably look better in it.” Also? If you haven’t already, Sniiiiiiiiitch on that bitch. Go to guidance and be like “Hey, this is happening." Start getting a record of her behavior so you can establish a pattern. Stay calm, but go ahead and get her in trouble. If confrontation doesn’t work for you, then there’s no shame in just avoiding her, or making sure you have your friends around you when you’re likely to run into her. Also? If none of that works for you - Buddha tells us to greet our enemies with gratitude because they are the only ones who can teach us patience. It’s really hard to do this in the moment, but it’s a lot easier to do afterwards... Think about the things she said to you. Maybe write them down in a journal. Now think about how they make you feel. Go ahead and feel your feelings. What do you observe? Do you feel them in your chest? In your stomach? In your face? Does your breathing change? Temperature? When I used to get bullied, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My face would get very hot, and my ears would feel like they had cotton in them. Is it similar for you? What do you feel, physically and emotionally? Once you’ve observed what you’re feeling dispassionately, like a scientist, take a full, deep, belly breath, and release it slowly. You may want to journal about your findings. Now remind yourself that you are choosing kindness and patience. That doesn’t mean what she said is okay. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you, or that she has a license to behave like that whenever she wants. You don’t have to feel very compassionate towards her. That’s why we’re going to practice. Start with curiosity - curiosity about your feelings, and curiosity about her and her motivations. “Hmm. Those words hurt my feelings. I’m feeling hurt right now. Why do those words hurt me? Am I afraid they may be true? Are they actually true? Hmm. No. I know that bodies come in all sizes. Would I say those things to someone else? Of course not. I wonder why she chose to say hurtful words that aren’t true? Why is she invested in hurting me? What kind of person enjoys hurting other people? Does she understand kindness? She must have a hard time relating to other people. If she thinks it’s okay to treat people like this, someone probably treated her just as badly at some point. Maybe she thinks she’s being funny, and doesn’t realize that she’s being hurtful. Maybe she can’t tell the difference. Is she afraid that she is fat? Why does she think fat is something bad? Who told her that?” Again, this is by no means excusing her behavior - or dictating your response. You don’t have to “forgive” her, or just accept this kind of treatment - it’s not about being a doormat. It’s about observing your thoughts and feelings with curiosity and compassion, and observing her actions with curiosity and compassion. If you practice regularly, it may take the sting out of it the next time she makes bad choices. And remember - they are HER bad choices, NOT a reflection of your inherent worth, which is absolute and non-negotiable. I hope any part of this was helpful. Feel free to take whatever works for you and discard the rest. You have an ally here. Stay strong! Ask for help. And remember: you and your body are perfect, just as you are, right now.

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