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docholligay · 6 years

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Doc, what was your favorite part of the trip? What was the most surprising? What would you want to do again?

I haven’t read Jet’s yet, by design, because I didn’t want to be influenced by her answers, and also I usually read long-read articles in the tub.

My favorite part of the trip, all in all, if I had to pick just one, was the surprise. I love surprises, I live for them, and i love really unexpected surprises, and I knew there was no way she would ever expect that I would do something like this.

(Again, a million thanks to the sponsor who made this happen, who wishes to remain anonymous, this was amazing)

I was on the MAX for as long as my flight was, taking the train all the way out of the city and then taking the bus, the whole time hoping that I wouldn’t accidentally spill the beans.

It’s so funny, I have exact same thing every time I fly to Portland: A small split of prosecco in the airport, 2 chicken strips, and two glasses of the complimentary Horizon wine on the plane. Exact same. Every time. I don’t like to fly, and ritual is very comforting to me.

I WAS TERRIFIED, HOWEVER, THAT THIS TIME IT WOULD GET ME MAGICALLY DRUNK, AND I WOULD SPILL ALL THE BEANS,AND ALSO THE REST OF THE TACO FILLINGS, OH MY GOD I AM MAKING TACOS FOR DINNER.

Also the gal at the airport bar didn’t recognize me because I was dressed up as Lena for the entirety of my flight. TRAPPED IN MY BOY PANTS: THE VACATION.

One of the funny things is Jet KNEW something was being delivered, because she never would have believed I forgot our friendiversary and didn’t send anything at all, so I ordered Chinese to her house with garlic shrimp, a la Winston and Lena, and Mike emailed me, afraid that I’d screwed up and meant the food for me and hadn’t gotten to the house in time (In fairness, the gallon of soup was 100% for me, and I ate the entire thing that night.) But no, I had my bases covered, and she assumed, as I had hoped, that it was my gift for her.

But I didn’t, as astute viewers may note, and i did in fact manage to get off the bus on a pitch black street with no sidewalk, stare at my phone, shrug, and walk to where I thought the little dot would be.

Luckily, a Jedi came crashing through the bushes, whispering my name.

When Jet first saw me, it took her a solid 10 to 15 seconds to even register who I was, thought in fairness I was bouncing around so much that I think a reasonable person might have had a hard time telling through the blur. She, of course, repeatedly called me a shit, because what else was she going to do, really?

That was a great moment, just her utter surprise and my utter delight that she was surprised and I hadn’t ruined it, and it had all worked out, and I knew that it would be a tough surprise to top ever.

Other than that, if we break it down by day:

Wednesday: Best: Dinner at PokPok. This is a place I’ve always wanted to try, and the food did not disappoint, it was so amazing, and Jet’s delight at the discovery of the Mango Alexander was everything I had ever wanted in life, and also her surprise at how much she liked the food! I had ordered what was essentially a grilled chicken half and rice, in case she couldn’t handle the rest of the food, but she really loved the chicken wings (we all did) and the mussels with the crispy crepe. (I was the only one who lost my shit for the fruit salad, due to its twin sins of being very spicy and not meat, but I would fucking order it again in a heartbeat)

Most surprising: How good the roast beef was at Jet’s butcher! I’m a little jealous, the pastrami was middling, but the roast beef was EXCEPTIONAL.

I also really liked sitting Jet’s ass down and forcing her to work, and forcing her to write, and we’ll be doing that again when she’s here SO LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

Thursday:

Most surprising: THAT OREGON FUCKING SHUTS DOWN OVER LITERALLY 0 INCHES OF SNOW. My whole plan got ruined that day, which I am STILL exceptionally shirty about and will be until the day they lay me in my grave and PROBABLY AFTER THAT IF WE ARE ALL BEING HONEST, so I didn’t get to go see Vista House, we never got to Mount Hood itself, never took the historic highway all the way up and boooooo. So we went to Bonneville Dam, where Jet discovered the fish ladder, and oh my god, her actual delight was so funny and heart warming and amazing. Her telling Mike THEY HAD TO COME BACK WHEN THERE WERE MORE FISH IN THE LADDER.

Best: When Jet stole the pint glass from Full Sail Pub for me, because they were way different and nicer than the ones given out at the tour, and stolen pint glasses with the name of the place on them have the highest ranking on my pint glass system. (Best = I went there, glass was stolen from the table, Second = I was there, I bought it Third = someone else was there, they stole it for me. I generally don’t bother with someone going a place and buying me one or I’d have a million of them) It was just a fun, unexpected moment, and I really enjoyed myself.

I also really loved the picnic at Bonneville, where Mike and Nikki had never had a real picnic, with a full spread.

Friday:

Most surprising: Jet’s absolute love of the blue cheese on honey! It’s one of my favorite pairings, ever, in life, but I didn’t expect Jet to like it as much as I do. But she absolutely loved it. The whole experience of Chizu was exceptional, the way the cheese boards were laid out, the thoughtful pairings with each, even if I found the cheese a bit milder than was to my general liking, but some of that was when we did the cheese omakase, we noted that Jet had never had fancy cheese before, so she was fairly new to it.

And the Japanese garden was absolutely beautiful, just lush with foliage and more people than I thought there would be, but it was thoughtfully laid out and I loved the meandering paths. It would be a great place to hang out for a few hours and sit and think, if one were by themselves and inclined to do such things. The tea place (the Umami cafe, which will never not remind me of umami tits, which will never make anyone but Jet and me laugh) was also lovely, very modern, and I really appreciated that they had pre-paired small bites with tea, so it was very easy to get something that would offset it nicely, which was good for me, as I don’t know overly much about Japanese sweets. I got the genmaicha, which I really love for the earthy roasted flavors it provides, with a little manju cake, which was just this side of too sweet for me but actually worked really well with the genmaicha’s deep flavor, so that was a fun unexpected pairing!

Best: Either Chizu or Bad lesbian advice, which was me cosplaying Haruka and Michiru and was an experience, and by ‘an experience,” I mean neither Jet nor I could fucking breathe at times we were laughing so hard, and have sprung off a million inside jokes that we will laugh about until we die. (Jet, if you’re reading this, I want you to know I can hear you with my Senshi EYES and my senshi HEART)

Saturday:

Most surprising: After taking Jet and Mike to El-Masry, we just discovered that Mike just has a general passion for middle eastern food! This is the second middle eastern place I’ve taken them, and Mike loves the flavors and spices (I do too--never met a style of middle eastern cuisine I don’t like) so I’m working on trying to find other middle eastern places they can go.

Also that I preferred the Chinese garden to the Japanese garden. The Japanese garden was gorgeous and I cannot recommend enough seeing both if you’re ever in Portland, but the Chinese garden is an architectural model, a tiny oasis in the middle of a massive city, and the detail work on all of the building and pathways absolutely captured me, the scents of the garden and the floral arrangements we were lucky enough to be there for, the entire thing almost felt a dollhouse made by a master, a small space transformed into something so much bigger than its own footprint, it had an immense quality to it.

The teahouse was excellent too, though I think I preferred the tea I got at the Japanese place (This was the fault of me trying something new because the tea menu was much larger, and I just find chrysanthemum tea middling, as it turns out.) The teahouse was done in a more old-world style than the sleek lines of the Japanese tea house, which was very modern, and I am very old world myself in a number of ways, and more is more, and I loved the carved dark woods and gilded edges of frames peeking out at me.

ALSO JET BOUGHT A BIG GIRL COAT. We finally just fucking went to Macy’s and I got to have her and Mike buy coats, and I got to talk about cut and fashion and fabric and I fucking live for that shit, i was a bouncy happy little ball in the men’s outerwear section.

Best: Dinner at Nomad. I’m struggling to find the words to describe Nomad, and if I finish all my writing chores for the month, I may sit down and write out course by course my impressions of the entire meal. Jet was legitimately surprised to see me in a suit, though she was really nice and did compliment me on it, because I haven’t worn a suit in years and it was a little odd for me, too. Joyce the bartender was an absolute delight and one of my favorite elements of Nomad, so kind and funny and excellent. The food itself was simply art. It’s so difficult to describe how a few mouthfuls can really speak to you, how it can bring the essence of everything down to one moment, and be perfect in that moment.

Also, note for the next trip I go on: I NEED A FOOD NOTEBOOK TO WRITE IN. I have a very strong memory but no one has total recall.

I have never been a volume eater, and eating for eating’s sake doesn’t really interest me--part of the reason my mom started teaching me to cook is that I was underweight. Because food was boring and I was ready to go run around instead of sitting and eating, and I didn’t care about missing dessert because sweet is just another thing I’ve had, even as a kid. So she started to teach me and I got into food as construction, as art, as something that CAN be interesting and that’s how I got into cooking. Nomad takes that idea of food as art, and elevates it about anything I’ve ever had, even the restaurant with one Michelin star I’ve been to, although I would argue that Nomad would EASILY and HANDILY get a Michelin star if Portland was included in the Michelin reviews.

Anyway you’re not asking about me and the food, you’re asking about me and Jet. It was so wonderful and interesting to talk about the food with her, to get her impressions, we laughed over how she’s so visual, and I’m really not, I’m very texture and scent based, as far as things having an effect on flavor. We sometimes had totally different impressions of things! Including one time where she thought a puree of different beans and vegetables tasted like peanut butter, because it looked like peanut butter, and I swear I looked at her with INTENSE CONFUSION, because it was neither sweet nor nutty--I guess it was fatty like peanut butter, and coated your tongue, but lots of things do that. So we really laughed about that. We got a little table just on the edge of the kitchen, where I could watch them work even though we weren’t at the “chef’s table” so that was such an extra little delight. I think that was the best time I’ve ever had with jet, out of A LOT OF TIMES, but it was just a really nice extended evening with really nice cocktails and fun dress and good company and we made it last all night and it was just one of the best nights of my entire life.

Sunday:

The best thing about me going home is always the Ramen Of Sadness, which is Kizuki Ramen, which is fucking great and I cannot recommend enough, I go to a ramen place in every city I visit (that has one) and Kizuki is my favorite. I always get the chicken rich ramen and the cedar sake, because they are both fucking amazing.

SURPRISE I DON’T GET TO GO HOME.

So the melting pot was the surprise, and I was fucking tired and frayed at both ends because THEY KEPT MY BAG AND I HAD TO SCROUNGE TOGETHER A KIT AT TARGET, but the Melting Pot ended up being such a nice way to end the night, WHERE JET WAS TOTALLY NOT SORRY ABOUT ALL THE MARSHMALLOW THINGS IN THE FONDUE PLATE, it was warm and happy and it’s a silly chain restaurant but one I’ve always wanted to try, and we had a great night there laughing with our server and our lyft driver and we just had an amazing time.

Not to get gross or ‘have a feeling in public’ as the children say, but it was just really nice to have a week with Jet, and it was nice that it was a surprise for her and she had no time to hype herself up worrying about the house being clean enough, so she got to just enjoy me being there and we got to just have fun, and I will always really cherish it, and I can’t wait for our road trip.

#Anonymous

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 5 years

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“Telling” Asks

Because I’m relaxing today and I’ve never answered some of these before.

From: https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/185158056997/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups would be ideal, but the reality is more water bottles.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Honestly? Neither. (Unless it's a really good chocolate bar, like 85% dark, or Cadbury's~)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Both are too sweet for me. (Though, maybe once a year, I'll indulge in one of each.)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Bottles, if it's not soda! (Good for multi-tasking and not spilling!) But otherwise, glass cups. Unless the plastic ones are really pretty or have a very nice grippy shape to them.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh always goth, all the way. Technically a more "formal" goth (romantigoth is the label i'd choose if i HAD to pick one),

7. earbuds or headphones? That depends. When I'm active, or when it's hot outside? Earbuds. But when travelling, trying to work in a loud environment, or generally needing sound cancellation: definitely headphones.

8. movies or tv shows? Oh, that REALLY depends on the content. Movies are easier on the ADD, and most TV shows are paced TERRIBLY in the long-running format, but then there's, like... cartoons, basically, that have satisfying stories in each episode AND a great overarching plot.

9. favorite smell in the summer? Pre-Thunderstorm Static.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I wasn't the best at ANY game in PE... ;P Honestly, my best "game" was probably....... tag, but the kind where they're running away from you as a form of bullying, so you just embrace it and "touch" them just to mess with them.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? I don't. (I don't feel hungry most mornings.) "First lunch" is usually a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I don't do "playlists", I do "play every album by this artist in chronological order"! But I guess my Epica and Evanescence stations on Pandora come pretty close, huh?

13. lanyard or key ring? Neither actually; I use those bungee-like things you can stretch to hold my things. I literally attach my wallet to my bag's handle with those so I don't lose it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Peppermint? Candied ginger? Do s'mores count?~

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Oh DAMN that's hard... Let's see. If AR Summer Reading projects count: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? The Invisible Thread (by Yoshiko Uchida)? Fahrenheit 451? And if those don't count, maybe The Scarlet Letter (by Hawthorne, of course).

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Your classic lotus position. I'm essentially in it right now.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Work shoes, but outside of work? Black flip flops.

18. ideal weather? Realistically: 65, light breeze, and lots of clouds with a little rain. But my absolute FAVORITE weather was something I've only ever seen ONCE, and that was a thunderstorm in the middle of a snowstorm. It was incredible and the image of lightning against the snowfall is forever seared into the core of my soul as one of the most gorgeous things I've ever experienced.

19. sleeping position? Varies night by night. Safe to call it a general Flop.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? It depends on the draft! First drafts are best done for me in notebooks (usually, unless it's a scene with No Chronology Yet, it's in the notebook meant for the story)! But also, anything that's on hand whenever a new scene strikes me works too. I've written on napkins, calendar pages, doctor notes, and Greyhound bus tickets.

21. obsession from childhood? Ooh, Teen Titans, still to this day!

22. role model? ...Rrrraven? (And/or, my Actual Mentors. But it's very much a "don't be me, just let us try to teach you some things so you can be the Best You".)

23. strange habits? ...oh gods, where do I even begin. I meditate and practice energy work on the daily. I touch things almost any time I'm walking anywhere, like just reach my hands out a little and touch whatever's closest. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm talking to someone, lots of "why is that". I compulsively read Every Single Ingredient on every box I buy and research anything I'm not familiar with. Does taking like 15 pills and vitamins every day count? And also my "nesting" behavior, any time I'm somewhere I feel it's not rude to re-arrange, I grab pillows and blankets for support.

24. favorite crystal? Damnit, all my favorite stones are actually not "crystals"?! But crystalline azurite is close enough. (It kind of depends on the day and what energy I'm looking for. Stone/crystal work is another one of those weird habits. ;P )

25. first song you remember hearing? The "Arthur" themsong. I remember going to my mother and being like, "They said A! A is a letter!" And it wasn't for another, like, 3-5 years that I'd realize, they're saying "hey", not "A".

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay inside. (Anything that counts as "warm" rather than "cool" is too warm for me....) But if I had to pick ONE thing, definitely swimming, in a lake (because I have a mild chlorine allergy).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ALL of them! Just being outside as long as it's not too sunny! Hiking, meditating, I used to do all my spiritual rituals outside, reading, walking, hell even at work when we have dogs to take on walks, I love walking in the park with them. Being outside when it's snowing. And then curling up in my room, on my soft bed, with a cup of tea and a book (or a great fanfic) after...

28. five songs to describe you? Teen Titans themesong, Bakura's Theme, What's the Use of Feeling (Blue) 1. End of the Dream, by Evanescence [ x ] 2. My Demons, by Starset [ x ] 3. Underneath, by Tarja [ x ] 4. Paradise (What About Us), Within Temptation ft. Tarja [ x ] 5. Reality Fringe, by Alex Dalliance

29. best way to bond with you? Talking, communicating, while respecting boundaries, with patience and sincerity.

30. places that you find sacred? Honestly, the biggest answers are a part of the Nexus and I don't think I'm ready to talk about that here;; Let's just say, astral adventures have gotten wild enough that my spirit guide and I have meeting places that are sacred, my leader-goddess has shown me a few places, and there are some "places" within my own mindscape that are sacred enough.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh honey, that depends entirely on my mood. And the situation. I have multiple cloaks, some closet cosplays, I wear skirts every day, business jackets, and I can mix and match them however I please. It REALLY depends on whose ass I'm kicking.

32. top five favorite vines? I know I really like Thomas Sanders? But specifics-- Oh. Oh crap, wait I have to visit my vines tag to remember my favorites. DEFINITELY "This bitch empty. YEET" because I didn't know the vine OR exclamation before I saw a fanart that had me DYING OF LAUGHTER, thinking someone just made Blue Diamond yell the word "YEET" for no reason. "FREE-shuh-VAH-cuhdu" makes me die every time. "There's only one thing worse... A CHILD" is TOP QUALITY, genuinely hits at least 3 critical notes of my sense of humor. I love the one with the guys playing the piano (I don't know what genre but it's old-school and chill) and the guy comes in and starts club dancing to it. And the umbrella one with, "Run".

33. most used phrase in your phone? ...probably "if you want"?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I haven't seen an ad in literally years. (get uBlock Origin, it works way better than adblock! also, i don't Internet on my phone.)

35. average time you fall asleep? 11pm? (Work nights: 9-10:30, depending on my exhaustion levels. Not work nights? 1-3am.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The actual LOLcats website!

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Neither; I actually use a mid-sized messenger bag and only use Personal Item Sized Bags for airplane trips. Free baggage, y'all. ;P

38. lemonade or tea? Oh tea, definitely tea. (Unless it's too-sweet iced black tea; then that watermelon mint lemonade wins.)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Iiii actually can hardly eat either one, but Starbucks' lemon loafs were addictive (but really bad for my system) and I do love lemon meringue flavored things~

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? M e . (I did weird shit like practice reading auras, accidentally warp the moodscape of everyone around me, and get an A on a pop quiz the teacher didn't lecture about for more than five minutes.)

41. last person you texted? An old high school friend I recently reconnected with.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket, since I don't wear pants (unless work forces me to, ew).

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I have no idea what differentiates them. =w=;; Cardigan probably, because I know they have really long flowy elegant ones I like to wear sometimes.

44. favorite scent for soap? ...ooh, that's tough... Lavender's always a good bet, rosemary-mint was a delight, I cucumber-eucalyptus was nice, and I have no idea what scent it was, but a local soap-maker at the farmer's market in the city I lived in for a couple years had this one that was made with, like, honey and red clay, and it felt AMAZING.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Damnit, don't make me CHOOSE like this! I mean, for writing obviously Superhero because I write fanfics like hell for that genre, but I guess my Pokemon fanfics count as fantasy? And, come to think of it, most of my stories center around metaphysical weirdness is some way or other, so... straddling the line between fantasy and superhero.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nudity.

47. favorite type of cheese? ...provolone maybe? ??

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Pomegranate, probably. Gotta do some work to get to the good stuff, strangely unavailable most of the time, and once you get past all the drawbacks, it's just absolutely loaded with compartmentalized goodness.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Bold of you to assume I only have one quote! Here's just a small sampling. ~ "Don't you want to feel? Don't you want to live your life? How much longer are you gonna give into the fear?" -Disappear, by Evanescence. ~ "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -Edgar Allen Poe ~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde ~ "Guilt is a powerful motivator. Redemption, even greater." -The Unforgiving, by Within Temptation et al. "When you know in your soul who you are, you can never be corrupted again." -Raven, from the Games graphic novel. + Various quotes from my organization, along the lines of things like "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do your job, but only you can be there for your friends, family, and accomplish your dreams", and "When you understand WHY we do what we do, WHAT we do makes more sense".

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My girlfriend? Most of those vines I mentioned? "OH TITS IT CAN FLY"?

51. current stresses? j o b

52. favorite font? Arial, simple yet elegant. Easy to read. I write all my stories in Arial, so I'm biased. l3

53. what is the current state of your hands? They're in Ohio with the rest of me? 8F No, but seriously, lowkey aching a bit around the finger joints from constantly dragging dogs around for a whopping 60 hours this week, but they're not burned and there's only one Tiny cut I got at work, and I still don't know why, but that's almost gone already. I like my fingernails too, they've been breaking at the corners lately but they're still Decently Long.

54. what did you learn from your first job? "Turn tables" are not, in fact, the name of a band, but an item of musical arrangement. (I worked at the Exchange and someone asked if we had anything like the turn tables. I thought they meant musically similar to a band named Turn Tables.)

55. favorite fairy tale? Does the epic poetry of the Kalevala story count? (Finland's national epic!) But I'm not a big fan of the Grimm style fairy tales.

56. favorite tradition? Going to Evanescence concerts at every single available opportunity? Wearing a bracelet my gf gave me and a ring my mother gave me any time I travel? I'm not one much for Generational Tradition at all, I do kinda like forming my own though~

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Literally just, myself. 1. Overcoming my doubt in myself. 2. Overcoming my social anxiety re: Starting Conversations. 3. Overcoming my phobia so I could, you know. Eat food.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? ?! How do you even define what constitutes a "talent"? 1. WRITING! (Creativity re: characters and the plots they're in. Descriptive writing. My mother always acts blown away whenever she reads my writing re: "how you get into the character's head".) 2. I can speak very eloquently and articulately, most of the time. And not just via verbiage; I know how to say things that Matter. 3. I can cook a fantastic stir-fry! And, apparently, really good soup. 4. I'm proud of my (non-numerical) eidetic memory, sometimes. It's kinda just There, and I'm not, like, ACTIVELY proud of it, but it sure makes things easier re: remembering friends' triggers, fandom trivia, etc.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? What makes you think I don't create each response on demand? (There's... really not something I think I say often enough to count as a catch phrase. So I legitimately have no idea.)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Is "dark magical girl anime" a thing? Because that'd be MY thing.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? See above quotes.

62. seven characters you relate to? 1. R A VE N that's it that's the list Theeee only other ones I relate to are kinda awkward answers to give for this (re Synpathy and such related topics), but then again there's hella sympathy for Raven too, so.... 2. Ryou Bakura 3. Blue Diamond 4. Lapis Lazuli 5. Malachite (it's Complicated) 6. Sucy 7. Crona

63. five songs that would play in your club? Just insert any five Alex Dalliance songs here, I don't listen to a whole lot of Club Style Music. (Unless.... does, like, Cascada and Caramel count? Because I still kinda like their styles.) My "club" would be more like orchestrals by Danny Elfman and Evanescence instrumentals and/or live music from local rock bands.

64. favorite website from your childhood? TitansGo.Net! Screenshots, transcripts, even the forums... I browsed that site on the daily.

65. any permanent scars? Oh boy, are you sure you're ready for this? My scars fade quickly, but you'll see them if you know what to look for. One on my forearm from when I fell off a bed onto a broken fan grate at age 5 (it's a 3-inch long gash), on my left pointer finger from being bitten by an angry rabbit, scars on my heels from my comic!Raven cosplay shoes, scar on my right hip from using rubber cement to attach a scar prosthetic for a Kary cosplay (at my supposedly practical-effects-knowledgeable father's advice-- not good advice at all, for the record, don't put that shit anywhere NEAR your skin), tiny spot on my right hand from the time I became too emotional at my girlfriend's house and scraped it on her carpet, tiny dot on my left shoulder from a protruding nail in an old (pavillon without a roof thing?) we once had in the backyard, tiny line on my right ring finger from the time Belle nearly fell from right next to me and I caught her (she tried to grab something and wound up scratching me), and a scar on my right elbow from cleaning the tortilla press at Chipotle. (They didn't tell me there were protective gloves to use. They really should've told me that.)

66. favorite flower(s)? Oh gosh, I don't know. I like almost all flowers, really. I love the scent of lilac and magnolia in the air. Rose and hibiscus make lovely teas. Seeing mint and lemon balm in bloom always makes me feel contented. Willow and basswood flowers remind me of happy childhood memories at the nature reserve. Pink hibiscus flowers have Very Special Meaning to me (for the other blog, really). And of course, flowers with energy or aromatherapeutic effects like lavender are favorites, too.

67. good luck charms? Look, I don't NEED good luck.~ Confidence, strategy, and being alright with whatever happens are my "good luck charms". (And throwing a little magic at it never hurts when I REALLY want something...)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? ....I'm not comfortable answering that (phobia memories, just not gonna think about that okay.)

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? ...Remember that eidetic memory I was talking about? Every single little tiny fact I'm thinking about, I can remember how I learned about it.

70. left or right handed? Ambi, actually! 55% right. 45% left.

71. least favorite pattern? That depends on what it's for. Wallpapers? Floral (it kills my ADD, but floral patterns can make some very pretty dresses and blankets). Furniture? Paisley (but some people rock it in clothes). Furniture? any kind of fur trim (but again, it looks good on clothes). Clothing on me? Leopard and zebra (but I like it on lots of other things). My room? Checkered and tartan (but again, good patterns for other things, esp. clothing and interior styles that AREN'T associated with my room in particular, my room's just so noncomforming and cluttered that Busy Patterns like that aren't). I guess overall I'm just not a fan of highly stripey or square-y patterns?

72. worst subject? Math. Always has been. Probably always will be.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? The weirdest and actually not the grossest I tried was, out of curiosity to see what Tamaranian food might ACTUALLY taste like, I mixed sushi with ice cream. It really wasn't that bad! That one's my favorite for fandom reasons. 8P I don't do a whole lot of "weird" flavor combos otherwise.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? (Those... those are the same thing, buddy.) 8 or 9. NSAIDs, especially naproxen and ibuprofen, really irritate my stomach, so it has to be worth a week or two of Lowkey Constant Nausea to take it. For example, the last time I was waking it, I had dry socket. You know, that thing that happens when you get a tooth extracted and the blood clot doesn't form, so YOUR ACTUAL BONE IS EXPOSED for two FUCKING weeks..... and before the dental stuff, I would only take it when Monthly Stuff would get so bad, it could leave my crippled and crying on the bathroom floor for an hour. (Might've been longer if stepmom hadn't gotten me n0aproxen.....)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Hell if I know what age that was, I think I swallowed it.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Potato soup, especially my mother's! But I also like BAKED fries (actually fried fries tend to be... Really Badly Received by my system;;), kettle chips are pretty good in small amounts, and I love those criss-cross cut fries at Mr. Hero (I just can't eat more than, like, five at a time, guh).

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I absolutely LOVED having my lemon balm. But it got the aerial blight from my peace lily, and it died with all the rest of my houseplants. :c

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from a grocery store, just because this place called Giant Eagle makes some fairly good sushi for like $5 on certain days of the week, and I think they make it every 3-4 days. Fresh, like you can see them making it right in front of you.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport is actually my best, I think~ Though my college ID didn't look bad, either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Depends on what they're for. Clothes, I guess jewel tones because I like blue and purple. But for interior decorations, earth tones like deep rich browns and black are my go-to.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? They're.. the same thing? ??? I've used both interchangeably.

82. pc or console? PC, mostly because that's all I've had most of my life, and of course DC Universe Online was on my PC so maybe I'm biased. 8F

83. writing or drawing? Oooh, writing for me, all the way~ (Though I gotta do SOME drawing now and again!)

84. podcasts or talk radio? Neither, they're both too long for my ADD. And I don't... really care about most people on them? The only one I've ever seen was Amy Lee on short talk show interviews and the Steven Universe podcast with MKAtwood of course.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither. (I had both. Played with Polly Pocket because it came with a lot more animals, but those got lost way too easily, and I never got into the Barbie.)

85. fairy tales or mythology? They're both equally important and equally fascinating! Mythology has more Spiritual Resonance, and fairy tales have more Societal Resonance.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Depends on what kind! Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate cupcakes, but red velvet cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting beat chocolate chip cookies.

87. your greatest fear? I have emet*phobia. You can look up what that means yourself because I don't even want to type the word, thanks.

88. your greatest wish? Just, freedom.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Damn it, I'm too compassionate for that answer. Whoever needs it more at that very moment.

90. luckiest mistake? Being so antisocial that the people running the ALP program made me sit with my girlfriend. I asked "Do you like Teen Titans?", and the rest is history.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes for long-term storage, bags for the daily.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Lamps, generally. Candles trump them all, but LED lamps are a lot less fire-hazard-y when you might fall asleep. lD;;

93. nicknames? RHS, RWT, Shadow, Zira (means "Shadow"), closest friends call me Rae.

94. favorite season? Winter~ It's the kindest to my easily-overheated sensibilities.

95. favorite app on your phone? Prooobably the voicemail app my or/ganization uses? I don't do much else on my phone besides, you know. Phone stuff (talk/text).

96. desktop background? PC: A shot of Raven meditating in the forest from Justice League vs. Teen Titans, with the incense and glow and her head bowed and focused and everything. Laptop: The sky as Lapis looked up at it, the gorgeous Homeworld constellation from "Ocean Gem".

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three. Mine, my girlfriend's, and only because she had the same phone number since I was like 8 years old, my stepmother's. Everyone else's keeps changing.

98. favorite historical era? The answer I want to give is Nexus-related, but I don’t think I have a real favorite era. I know too much about the history of misogyny, racism, colonialism, variation between eras around the world, and generally fucked-up shit in every era I've ever learned about.

#IRL canon #meme #filled meme

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the-everqueen · 7 years

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look, i just needed some fluff this week, and “Eliza as a stress baker” is a good headcannon. have a fox eating a cupcake for cheer.

Having a boyfriend who's a fox faerie, Eliza decides, is not much different from having a large pet cat.

He watches intently as she cracks eggs into the mixer. She's baking cupcakes for rehearsal tomorrow, since it seems likely to go over the usual two hours, and the surprise of baked goods will offset the sense of being trapped inside the theater building like the seventh circle of hell. Besides, if she's baking, then she doesn't have to think about the edits von Steuben sent back for her paper. Alexander offered to look them over for her, which is why he's here, except something - the smell of butter, maybe, or the sound of the KitchenAid - distracted him. He cocks his head, whiskers twitching, as she pours in the vanilla extract.

She is reaching for the bowl of dry ingredients when she realizes she forgot baking powder. She goes into the pantry, searching for the tin -

A sharp yelp makes her turn around. Alexander is on the counter, muzzle spattered with creamed butter and sugar, cringing back from the mixer.

"Alex!" she scolds. "Get down from there."

He paws at his nose and whines.

Rolling her eyes, she picks him up and sets him on the floor. He rubs against her leg, his gesture of gratitude undermined by the smear of butter he leaves on her jeans.

She sighs. "I'll let you lick the beater once the cupcakes are in the oven." She'll have to wash out the mixer anyway before she can make frosting.

He yips in agreement.

After that he watches quietly as she alternates milk and the dry ingredients, prepares her pans, and scoops batter into cupcake liners. She explains the process as she goes along, even though she feels certain Alex's cooking skills are limited to quesadillas and spreading peanut butter on a bagel. But he seems to listen, his dark eyes fixed on her in the same way his human self analyzes a Chopin score.

Eliza puts the cupcakes in the oven and, as promised, holds out the beater for Alexander to lick. He does so gingerly, his tongue darting out in tiny, fast strokes. When the beater is clean, he steps back and bows his head, licking his lips.

"You’re welcome.” She can't figure out what makes him choose one form over another, besides convenience or necessity. Paws are no good for practicing, but she's seen him as a fox curled up with his repertoire, eyes flicking over the penciled in notes; other times a human Alexander has fallen asleep in the middle of an episode of X-Files, his body contorted into an awkward shape.

She asks, “Why a fox tonight?”

Alexander makes a sort of shrug. Flicking his tail, he noses at her wrist for any traces of batter and, when he finds none, bolts into the living room.

Well, that answers that.

She washes dishes and makes a caramel buttercream while the cupcakes are baking. It’s familiar and soothing in the sense of actual accomplishment, so when she takes the cupcakes out to cool, she’s almost forgotten about the paper that brought Alexander here in the first place.

Speaking of whom, he’s been quiet - no barking or mad dashes around the apartment or begging for frosting. She pads into the living room. “Alexander?”

He’s human and naked on the couch, tapping at her laptop, brows furrowed and mouth slightly parted in concentration.

“What are you doing?”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“What…?”

“Von Steuben’s edits.” He taps something out, frowns, revises. “He likes you - you made a good argument, and it’s obvious you pay attention in class - his reputation for all-caps curse words is just because of the students he really hates -”

“Are you fixing my paper?”

“Nothing major,” he says, too quickly. “Just moving around some of your points and expanding your biographical section - did you know he had a thing with Bernstein for a quick second? Not that you need to mention that, just thought you’d find it interesting.”

Eliza sits next to him and pulls the computer into her lap. Alexander winces as she starts to scroll through the document, but he also cuddles up against her, resting his head on her shoulder. Despite having a distinctive writing style, Alexander tutors for von Steuben’s survey course and offers editorial services to anyone who wants them - usually for cash, though Eliza heard he let John Andre take him out to dinner in return for polishing his thesis. She wonders whether he might take baubles or memories or first born children as well: in the stories, faeries always want something of real value, though she supposes not starving has its own appeal. Besides, he couldn’t exactly ask for those things and pass as human, even at such a place removed from reality as a conservatory.

“It’s better,” she admits, when she finishes it, “though I wouldn’t attack his views on avant-garde music. It’s not really relevant.”

“It’s true! He’s being short-sighted. Plus it explains certain aspects of his style.”

She’s going to have to rewrite some things - the tone is undeniably Alexander - but for the most part his adjustments make her realize she wrote a decent paper. Fixing it will not be impossible. The groundwork has already been laid. She can breathe a little easier. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to.” He looks at her, eyes wide and insistent. “Besides, half of his comments are in Spanish, and you don’t want to count on Google translate for forty percent of your grade.”

She kisses him. “Come on, let’s go frost some cupcakes.”

He changes back to fox - a moment so quick and sly she’s never been able to catch it, a smeared corner of her memory - and trots after her as she goes back to the kitchen.

Eliza raises an eyebrow at him. “Is this how you avoid helping?”

He makes an apologetic geckling noise.

“Well, you’re not getting out of taste testing.”

With a grin, he leaps onto the counter to watch as she pipes thick swirls of buttercream on each cupcake. Eliza’s gotten fast at this part: finals last semester saw her baking a three-tiered cake with piped rosettes. Once she’s done, she loads her cake-carrier so it’s ready for tomorrow.

“I’m setting aside two for John,” she tells Alexander. “Can you give them to him?”

He barks.

“You won’t eat them.”

He flattens his ears and huffs.

“Fine, fine.” She sets a cupcake in front of him. “You get yours tonight.”

He smirks. It’s hard not to see Hamilton in him, with that sly glint in his eyes and the imperious swish of his tail. He snatches careful bites at the cupcake, making quick work of it; and when he’s finished, he licks his lips and whines at Eliza.

“No, you’ll get sick on too much sugar.” He gives her his pouting face, and she laughs, takes him into her arms. Maybe that was his real objective: he curls up like a baby and snuggles against her chest with a purr. She doesn’t mind. He’s warm and soft - and she knows it’s dangerous to think like that, to see him as harmless when he isn’t even human, but she also can’t imagine him hurting her.

She presses a kiss to his head. “Come on, bedtime.”

He perks up at that. Nose twitching, he wriggles out of her arms, lands like a cat, and dashes for the bedroom.

Eliza has a good idea of what she’ll find waiting for her.

#Eliza's paper is on Ned Rorem #who wrote several vocal pieces and some short operas #and also had several affairs with other male composers #(including Bernstein!)#this is an Eliza night #i will probably write a Laurens night #as a sort of companion piece #there's a shout-out in here to tumblr-user @acanofpeaches #and her fic where Mulder gets turned into a fox #it's a good and wholesome fic go read it #broom conservatory au #(once more a reminder this is the elams verse!)#(nobody dies!)

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recentnews18-blog · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/maysoon-zayid-interview-i-want-to-be-the-image-of-the-american-you-dont-think-is-american/

Maysoon Zayid interview: 'I want to be the image of the American you don't think is American'

US standup comedian Maysoon Zayid likes to joke that if there were a competition called the Oppression Olympics, she would win gold.

“I’m Palestinian, Muslim, I’m a woman of colour, I’m disabled,” Zayid, who has cerebral palsy, tells audiences, before pausing a beat to hang her head, her long dark hair curtaining her face, “and I live in New Jersey”.

The joke lands laughs whether Zayid tells it in red states or blue, and puts people exactly where Zayid wants them: disarmed, charmed and eager for more. She told it near the beginning of her 2014 TED Talk, which drew nearly 15 million views, became the most-watched TED Talk that year and changed Zayid’s life. She now has a development deal with ABC to create a semi-autobiographical sitcom called Can-Can, starring her.

The show faces daunting odds; only a handful of the dozens of scripts networks order each autumn make it to air. But if Can-Can makes it all the way – Zayid told studio executives that she would end up in an internment camp if it didn’t – it may push two populations, one widely ignored, the other demonised, from the country’s margins into the mainstream.

People with disabilities make up nearly 20 per cent of the population yet account for about 2 per cent of onscreen characters, some 95 per cent of which are played by able-bodied stars. And it is hard to imagine a group more vilified in the United States than Muslims or Middle Easterners, whom, as Zayid’s television writing partner, Joanna Quraishi, said, “Americans see as either terrorists or Kardashians.”

The executive producers of Can-Can include Todd Milliner and Sean Hayes, who plays Jack on Will & Grace, itself a groundbreaking show credited with helping make gay characters mainstream. Milliner and Hayes are well aware of the envelope-pushing potential of Can-Can, but said that was not what sold them on Zayid.

Her energy filled the room, and she was self-aware, super smart, and madly funny. Crucially, she had a singular story. “The whole business is moving even more toward authentic stories that aren’t on TV right now,” Milliner said.

Zayid is a vociferous part of a small, dedicated movement calling attention to disability rights in entertainment, which are consistently overlooked in the quote-unquote diversity conversation.

Jay Ruderman, president of the Ruderman Family Foundation, a philanthropic and advocacy organisation for disability rights (it also works to strengthen ties between American Jews and Israel), said Zayid’s show could crush enduring stigmas disabled people face. “Progress is being made very slowly, but shows can be transformational,” he said.

The Can-Can character will be much like Zayid, a woman who happens to be disabled and Muslim and who grew up in New Jersey with big hair and Metallica T-shirts, navigating love and friendships and the world. “I want to get out there and be the image of the American you don’t think is American, and the Muslim you don’t think of when you think of a Muslim,” she said.

Zayid lives in a bright, plant-filled apartment in Cliffside Park, New Jersey, that she shares with her husband and their cat. She likes to keep her husband’s name under wraps, and publicly refers to him as Chefugee, for he is indeed both a refugee – they met while she was working with refugees in the Palestinian territories – and a chef.

Zayid’s parents, who are from a village outside Ramallah, also raised their family here. Zayid is the youngest of four daughters, and had an idyllic childhood despite a traumatic birth. The doctor botched her mother’s C-section, she said, smothering Zayid. Cerebral palsy is not genetic; it’s often caused by brain trauma before or during birth, and manifests differently in people. Zayid shakes all the time, though yoga has lessened the severity, and can walk but cannot stand for very long (she calls herself a sit-down standup comedian).

Her parents treated her no differently from her siblings. Her father, a gregarious salesman, taught her to walk by having her stand on his feet. She was sent to dance and piano lessons because the family could not afford physical or occupational therapy, and she became a popular high achiever. “I lived in a bubble,” she told me, “and that is very much related to who I am now”.

At college, her bubble burst. She went to Arizona State University on an academic scholarship, and on her first day in an English literature class, her professor stunned her by asking, “Can you read?” She majored in theatre – her lifelong dream has been to appear on General Hospital – yet despite wowing teachers she was never cast in school productions. Even when the theatre department mounted a play about a girl with cerebral palsy, a non-disabled student was chosen over Zayid for the part.

“It was devastating, because I knew I was good,” Zayid said. “The girl who got it was a great actress. But why would anyone want to see her fake cerebral palsy, when I’m sitting right here?”

It was a light-bulb moment, and she realised that the movies she loved with disabled characters, like Born on the Fourth of July, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and Rain Man, all had visibly non-disabled stars. She pursed acting after graduation, until a forthright acting coach told her she would never get cast, and ought to do a one-woman show.

leftCreated with Sketch. rightCreated with Sketch.

1/25 Bojack Horseman

A cartoon about a talking horse, starring the goofy older brother from Arrested Development… on paper little about BoJack Horseman screams “must watch”. Yet the series almost immediately transcended its format to deliver a moving and very funny rumination on depression and middle-age malaise. Will Arnett plays BoJack – one time star of Nineties hit sitcom Horsin’ Around – as a lost soul whose turbo-charged narcissism prevents him getting his life together. Almost as good are a support cast including Alison Brie (Glow, Mad Men), Aaron Paul, of Breaking Bad, and Amy Sedaris as a pampered Persian cat who is also BoJack’s agent. Season five touches the live rail of harassment in the movie industry, offering one of the most astute commentaries yet on the #MeToo movement with an episode based centred around an awards ceremony called “The Forgivies”.

Netflix

2/25 Stranger Things

A valentine to the Spielberg school of Eighties blockbuster, with Winona Ryder as a small town mom whose son is abducted by a transdimensional monster. ET, Goonies, Close Encounters, Alien and everything Stephen King wrote between 1975 and 1990 are all tossed into the blender by Millennial writer-creators the Duffer brothers. It was clear Stranger Things was going to be a mega-smash when Barb – the “best friend” character eaten in the second episode – went viral the weekend it dropped.

Netflix

3/25 Daredevil

Netflix’s Marvel shows tend towards the overlong and turgid. An exception is the high-kicking Daredevil, with Charlie Cox’s blind lawyer/crimefighter banishing all memory of Ben Affleck’s turn donning the red jumpsuit in 2003. With New York’s Hell’s Kitchen neighbourhood as backdrop, Daredevil is caked in street-level grit and features a searing series one performance by Vincent D’Onofrio as the villainous Kingpin. The perfect antidote to the deafening bombast of the big screen Marvel movies.

Netflix

4/25 The Staircase

Did he do it? Does it matter considering the lengths the Durham, North Carolina police seemingly went in order to stitch him up? Sitting through this twisting, turning documenting about the trial of Michael Peterson – charged with the murder in 2003 of his wife – the viewer may find themselves alternately empathising with and recoiling from the accused. It’s a feat of bravura factual filmmaking from French documentarian Jean-Xavier de Lestrade, which comes to Netflix with a recently shot three-part coda catching up with the (very weird) Peterson clan a decade on.

Netflix

5/25 Dark

Stranger Things: the Euro-Gloom years. Netflix’s first German-language production is a pulp romp that thinks it’s a Wagner opera. In a remote town surrounded by a creepy forest locals fear the disappearance of a teenager may be linked to other missing persons cases from decades earlier. The timelines get twisted and it’s obvious that something wicked is emanating from a tunnel leading to a nearby nuclear power plant. Yet if the story sometimes trips itself up the Goonies-meets-Götterdämmerung ambiance keeps you hooked.

Netflix

6/25 A Series of Unfortunate Events

The wry and bleak Lemony Snickett children novels finally get the ghastly adaptation they deserve (let’s all pretend the dreadful 2004 Jim Carrey movie never happened). Neil Patrick Harris gobbles up the scenery as the vain and wicked Count Olaf, desperate to separate the Baudelaire orphans from their considerable inheritance. The look is Tim Burton by way of Wes Anderson, and the dark wit of the books is replicated perfectly (Snickett, aka Daniel Handler, is co-producer).

Netflix

7/25 Maniac

If you’re curious as to how Cary Fukunaga will handle the Bond franchise, his limited series, starring Emma Stone and Jonah Hill, drops some delicious hints. It’s a mind-bending sci-fi story set in an alternative United States where computers still look like Commodore 64s and in which you pay for goods by having a “travel buddy” sit down and read you adverts. Stone and Hill are star-crossed outcasts participating in a drugs trial that catapults them into a series of trippy genre excursions – including an occult adventure and a Lord of the Rings-style fantasy. It is here that Fukunaga demonstrates his versatility, handling potentially hokey material smartly and respectfully. 007 fans can sleep easy.

Netflix

8/25 Better Call Saul

The Breaking Bad prequel is starting to outgrow the show that spawned it. Where Breaking Bad delivered a master-class in scorched earth storytelling Saul is gentler and more humane. Years before the rise of Walter White, the future meth overlord’s sleazy lawyer, Saul Goodman, is still plain old Jimmy McGill, a striving every-dude trying to catch a break. But how far will he go to make his name and escape the shadow of his superstar attorney brother Chuck (Michael McKean)?

AMC Studios/Netflix

9/25 Black Mirror

Don’t tell Channel 4 but Charlie Brooker’s dystopian anthology series has arguably got even better since making the jump from British terrestrial TV to the realm of megabucks American streaming. Bigger budgets have given creators Brooker and Annabel Jones license to let their imaginations off the leash – yielding unsurpassable episodes such as virtual reality love story “San Junipero” and Star Trek parody “USS Callister”, which has bagged a bunch of Emmys.

Netflix

10/25 Mindhunter

David Fincher produces this serial killer drama based on the writings of a real-life FBI psychological profiler. It’s the post-Watergate Seventies and two maverick G-Men (Jonathan Groff and Holt McCallany) are going out on a limb by utilising the latest psychological research to get inside the heads of a motley assembly of real-life sociopathic murders – including the notorious “Co-Ed” butcher Ed Kemper, brought chillingly to live in an Emmy-nominated performance by Cameron Britton.

Netflix

11/25 The Crown

A right royal blockbuster from dramatist Peter Morgan (The Queen, Frost / Nixon). Tracing the reign of Elizabeth II from her days as a wide-eyed young woman propelled to the throne after the surprise early death of her father, The Crown humanises the royals even as it paints their private lives as a bodice-ripping soap. Matt Smith is charmingly roguish as Prince Philip and Vanessa Kirby has ascended the Hollywood ranks on the back of her turn as the flawed yet sympathetic Princess Margaret. Most impressive of all, arguably, is Claire Foy, who plays the Queen as a shy woman thrust unwillingly into the spotlight. Foy and the rest of the principal cast have now departed, with a crew of older actors – headed by Olivia Colman and Tobias Menzies – taking over as the middle-aged Windsors for season three.

Netflix

12/25 Narcos

This drug trafficking caper spells out exactly what kind of series it is with an early scene in which two gangsters zip around a multi-level carpark on a motorbike firing a machine gun. Narcos, in other words, is for people who consider Pacino’s Scarface a touch too understated. Series one and two feature a mesmerising performance by Wagner Moura as Columbian cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar, while season three focuses on the notorious Cali cartel. Reported to be one of Netflix’s biggest hits – the company doesn’t release audience figures – the fourth season turns its attention to Mexico’s interminable drugs wars.

Juan Pablo Gutierrez/Netflix

13/25 Master Of None

A cloud hangs over Aziz Ansari’s future after he was embroiled in the #MeToo scandal. But whatever happens, he has left us with a humane and riveting sitcom about an Ansari-proximate character looking for love and trying to establish himself professionally in contemporary New York.

K.C. Bailey / Netflix

14/25 Bloodline

One of Netflix’s early blockbusters, the sprawling soap opera updates Dallas to modern day southern Florida. Against the edge-of-civilisation backdrop of the Florida Keys, Kyle Chandler plays the local detective and favourite son of a well-to-do family. Their idyllic lives are thrown into chaos with the return of the clan’s black sheep (an unnervingly intense Ben Mendelsohn). The story is spectacularly hokey but searing performances by Chandler and Mendelsohn, and by Sissy Spacek and the late Sam Shepard as their imperious parents, make Bloodline compelling – a guilty pleasure that, actually, you shouldn’t feel all that guilty about.

Rod Millington/Netflix

15/25 The Alienist

You can almost smell the shoddy sanitation and horse-manure in this lavish murder-mystery set in 19th New York. We’re firmly in Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York territory, with a serial killer bumping off boy prostitutes across Manhattan. Enter pioneering criminal psychologist Dr Laszlo Kreisler (Daniel Brühl), aided by newspaper man John Moore (Luke Evans) and feisty lady detective Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning).

Kurt Iswarienko

16/25 Love

Judd Apatow bring his signature gross-out comedy to the small screen. Love, which Apatow produced, is a masterclass in restraint compared to 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up etc. Paul Rust is Gus, a nerdish movie set tutor, whose develops a crush on Gillian Jacobs’s too-cool-for-school radio producer Mickey. Romance, of a sort, blossoms – but Love’s triumph is to acknowledge the complications of real life and to disabuse its characters of the idea that there’s such a thing as a straightforward happy ending. Hipster LA provides the bustling setting.

Netflix

17/25 Queer Eye

Who says reality TV has to be nasty and manipulative? This updating of the early 2000s hit Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has five stereotype-challenging gay men sharing lifestyle tips and fashion advice with an engaging cast of All American schlubs (the first two seasons are shot mostly in the state of Georgia). There are laughs – but serious moment too, such as when one of the crew refuses to enter a church because of the still unhealed scars of his strict Christian upbringing.

Netflix

18/25 Chef’s Table

A high-gloss revamping of the traditional TV food show. Each episode profiles a high wattage international chef; across its three seasons, the series has featured gastronomic superstars from the US, Argentina, India and Korea.

Charles Panian/Netflix

19/25 Arrested Development

A disastrous group interview in which actor Jason Bateman “mansplained” away the bullying co-star Jessica Walter had suffered at the hands of fellow cast-member Jeffrey Tambor meant season five of Arrested Development was fatally compromised before it even landed. Yet Netflix’s return to the dysfunctional world of the Bluth family stands on its merits and is a worthy addition to the surreal humour of seasons one through three (series four, which had to work around the busy schedules of the cast, is disposable by comparison).

Netflix

20/25 Altered Carbon

Netflix does Bladerunner with this sumptuous adaptation of the cult Richard Morgan novel. The setting is a neon-splashed cyberpunk future in which the super-wealthy live forever by uploading the consciousness into new “skins”. Enter rebel-turned-detective Takeshi Kovacs (Joel Kinnaman), hired to find out who killed a (since resurrected) zillionaire industrialist while dealing with fallout from his own troubled past. Rumoured to be one of Netflix’s most expensive projects yet, for its second run, Anthony Mackie (aka Marvel’s Falcon) replaced Kinnaman as the shape-shifting Kovacs.

Netflix

21/25 Rick and Morty

Dan Harmon, creator of cult sitcom Community (also on Netflix), finds the perfect outlet for zany fanboy imagination with this crazed animated comedy about a Marty McFly/Doc Brown-esque duo of time travellers. Every genre imaginable is parodied with the manic energy and zinging dialogue we have come to expect from Harmon.

Netflix/Adult Swim

22/25 GLOW

Mad Men’s Alison Brie is our entry point into this comedy-drama inspired by a real life all-female wrestling league in the Eighties. Ruth Wilder (Brie) is a down-on-her luck actor who, out of desperation, signs up a wrestling competition willed into being by Sam Sylvia (podcast king Marc Maron). Britrock singer Kate Nash is one of her her fellow troupe members: the larger than life Rhonda “Britannica” Richardson.

Netflix

23/25 Archer

Deadpan animated satire about an idiot super spy with shaken and stirred mother issues. One of the most ambitious modern comedies, animated or otherwise, Archer tries on different varieties of humour for size and even occasionally tugs at the heart strings.

24/25 Ozark

Breaking Bad for those with short attention spans. The saga of Walter White took years to track the iconic anti-hero’s rise from mild mannered everyman to dead-eyed criminal. Ozark gets there in the first half hour as nebbish Chicago accountant Marty Byrde (Jason Bateman) agrees to serve as lieutenant for the Mexican mob in the hillbilly heartlands of Ozark, Missouri (in return they thoughtfully spare his life). Bateman, usually seen in comedy roles, is a revelation as is Laura Linney as his nasty wife Wendy. There is also a break-out performance by Julia Garner playing the scion of a local redneck crime family.

Netflix

25/25 The Good Place

A heavenly comedy with a twist. Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) is a cynical schlub waved through the Pearly Gates by mistake after dying in a bizarre supermarket accident. There she must remain above the suspicions of seemingly well-meaning but disorganised angel Michael (Ted Danson) whilst also negotiating fractious relationships with do-gooder Chidi (William Jackson Harper), spoiled princess Tahani (former T4 presenter Jameela Jamil) and ex-drug dealer Jason (Manny Jacinto).

Netflix

1/25 Bojack Horseman

Netflix

2/25 Stranger Things

Netflix

3/25 Daredevil

Netflix

4/25 The Staircase

Netflix

5/25 Dark

Netflix

6/25 A Series of Unfortunate Events

Netflix

7/25 Maniac

Netflix

8/25 Better Call Saul

AMC Studios/Netflix

9/25 Black Mirror

Netflix

10/25 Mindhunter

Netflix

11/25 The Crown

Netflix

12/25 Narcos

Juan Pablo Gutierrez/Netflix

13/25 Master Of None

K.C. Bailey / Netflix

14/25 Bloodline

Rod Millington/Netflix

15/25 The Alienist

Kurt Iswarienko

16/25 Love

Netflix

17/25 Queer Eye

Netflix

18/25 Chef’s Table

Charles Panian/Netflix

19/25 Arrested Development

Netflix

20/25 Altered Carbon

Netflix

21/25 Rick and Morty

Netflix/Adult Swim

22/25 GLOW

Netflix

23/25 Archer

24/25 Ozark

Netflix

25/25 The Good Place

Netflix

Zayid took comedy classes instead, began to get gigs, and after 11 September started the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival with Dean Obeidallah. “The simplest way for me to describe Maysoon is fearless,” Obeidallah said.

She also toured with the standup comedy show Arabs Gone Wild, landed a part in Adam Sandler’s You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, and became a political commentator on Countdown with Keith Olbermann, which proved a revelation.

Zayid had long understood that some non-disabled people recoiled at disabilities out of fear. “They’re one popped blood vessel or car accident away from being this way,” she said. But her Olbermann appearances drew hateful online comments calling her, she said, “a Gumby-mouth terrorist” and “an honour killing gone wrong”. It was the first time Zayid had been mocked for being disabled, and made her suddenly aware of the abuse that disabled people routinely faced.

After Zayid’s TED Talk went viral, she became one of the most booked speakers at the huge talent agency WME, and used her bigger platform to push questions forward: Where were the visibly disabled news anchors and talk-show hosts? Why, outside a handful of shows – among them Switched at Birth, Breaking Bad, American Horror Story and Speechless – were visibly disabled actors largely absent from television? Why was it OK for non-disabled stars to play disabled characters – a practice nicknamed “CripFace” – and win big awards?

While performances by, say, Joaquin Phoenix as a wheelchair-using cartoonist or Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking largely go unquestioned, and even lauded, by non-disabled people, Zayid said that for many people with disabilities, their acting looks cartoonish, exaggerated, offensive and inauthentic.

“You can put on makeup to look Asian or Latino or black, but black, Asian and Latino people know you’re not,” she said. “And disabled people watching their disabilities being poorly portrayed know it’s not them either.” Or, as she says onstage, if a person in a wheelchair can’t play Beyoncé, Beyoncé can’t play a person in a wheelchair.

Zayid will find out in January whether her show is to be made into a pilot. In the meantime, she is zipping around the world. In recent years, her gigs have included performing at the Team Beachbody Coach Summit – it’s for workout fiends – in Nashville, Tennessee; opening for rapper Pitbull in Las Vegas; and doing comedy, in both Arabic and English, in the United Arab Emirates (“They loved me,” she said).

At every turn, she slaps down people for using a particularly dreaded word. “If you think I’m inspirational because I go and do sit-down standup comedy uncovered and uncensored in the middle of the Arab world, I’ll take it,” she said.

“If you think I’m inspirational because I wake up in the morning and don’t weep about the fact that I’m disabled, that’s not inspirational,” she continued. “That’s like I make you feel better about yourself because you’re not me. I want to make you feel better about yourself because I made you laugh.”

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Source: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/features/maysoon-zayid-interview-comedian-standup-disability-activist-ted-talk-can-can-show-a8626201.html

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