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indomitablemegnolia · 5 years

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There are times two souls meet; some colliding all chaos and karma, some passing subtly past, there are even some forced together, theres the cute/meet, the bad day, the any old Tuesday, but I digress; two meet some moment; instantly, or over seconds, it’s dramatically clear that the two, on some level belong together; as lovers, as friends, as family, as forgotten moments, as shadows dancing, as something entirely different. With these encounters there is work required, whether it's understood, not self, not one another. The options are endless; in love, sympathetic souls, partners in crime; reality is negotiable. The people met throughout life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help lend a feeling of being alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in, well, any of it, coincidence, fate, kismet, even sheer blind stupid luck, but at this point, I know that I definitely believe something.

There is plenty of oddities, quixotic, out of the norm events that happen uniquely in my experience, that cause most to pull a funny face when I almost told them just a taste of what I know to be true. When Fate, Coincidence, Terminus, Madness, Possibility, and sweet Jesus, Life, himself have become not just characters in my universe, but enemies, friends and lovers; hmm lovers, I never thought I would have an "s" on that one. It wasn't so much the names that were odd, but how the came and went in my life; in with a breath, out with a breeze.

Their intent, delicious escape; god, they were deliciously successful at that. In this life, I realized at an early age that every drop of ecstatic joy must be squeezed out of every flashing second. I was used to seeing familiar flickers of Possibility, Madness, Terminus and Life, but of late a shimmer has caught my, like the haunting rainbows on the edge of heavy violet coloured rainclouds; as with the others a tall wide shoulder frame, darker close-cropped hair, a delicious clip to his low tenor. God's he was succulent, his walk an even slide heel toe, brought thoughts to the surface; sensuous, libidinous, delectable thoughts. So far just a few conversations about nothing all together; he introduced himself, a temptation, hmm welcome Temptation. Eye contact; so, much more intimate than words, touches could ever be.

His eyes, so dark, not that sweet chocolate that brown usually looks, they were the colour of the sky at midnight on a starless night. Looking into eyes usually give me a glimpse of a person's soul; in his I could only see my own reflected.

Deep dark eyes, the kind that shows none of his own soul, but reflects my own; there is something unsettling and disconcerting seeing all of the cracks in my own fascia. Though deeper in those dark caverns, there is a soft burning; the edge of delicious dancing as a reward for facing the demon of my soul; oh delicious temptation. Even coming upon from behind that mirror was held to my eyes along his long, tall, nonchalant frame. The back of his neck freshly cropped, begging for the attention lips and tongue could provide.

He is not exactly funny, nor is he sweet sweet, the funniest part was it didn't take very long for his sweetness to drop every defense. When he showed, instead of the cajoling of Terminus, the golden surety of Possibility, or ever the freedom of madness, he brought breathlessness, exhilaration and a touch of anxeity, life and death, have that kind of side effect; he is adrenaline, taking my hand and jumping from a plane.

“We all grow up and did the things we said we’d never do.” He tightened his grip lacing our fingers, "lets do those things we hadn’t even thought of." Jerking me hard against his the impact jarring a gasp from me, his lips hot, wet, sloppy and desperate.

There’s something beautiful about keeping certain aspects of life hidden; maybe people and clouds are beautiful because everything isn't visible; I have never really wanted to be known, but Temptation, he knows the things I never tell, that I refuse to know or feel myself; with him i have discovered for myself that I lived for nights thick wiht lust; rough hewn romance; I loved being dizzy with good wine, covered in naked kisses. God he was so washed in heat, singed by the necessity to move, he was so baptised by Hades, he mad wanton, dirty, gawdy sin look deliciously holy.

I love the sound of heavy rain and thunder on a cool dark starless night; it was like my last breath, a kiss, it was like I was dead inside, longing for a fast death, but now I just can not describe; I dreamt of you, your tongue dancing in my mouth; your hands pulling my hair; hot breath on my neck. I wake starving for you; I crave the kind of passion that will bring the devil to his knees.

God on his knees, he performed his sensual magic, a delectable cooperation of tongue and fingers that force me to moan, scream and squirm; it made me want to run like hell, at the same time begging him not to stop. Looking into the reflevtion in those eyes I knew this would happen, that he would be ruthless, merciless like now; ehat he did was breathtaking, mind-blowing, incredible.

Cuddled, held in the after glow, "I liked Hell," he ran his fingers along my skin, "I liked to go there alone relieved to lie in the wreckage, ruined, physically undone, but not blamed for it." He kissed me hard wrenching a groan from me. "If the worst had already happened, what else could hurt me?"

"Are you sure That we are awake? It seems to me That yet we sleep, We dream." I rambled out.

I woke suddenly, alone, the tears almost suffocated me; the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again…. I have a hard time deciding which is the worst horror, wanting something you can never have or remembering that which you never wanted but still had.

@keeper0fthestars @iamhisgloriouspurpose @pedeka @writernotwaiting

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fidelisfatum · 6 years

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Why fidelisfatum?

fidelis

Etymology

From fidēs (“faith, trust”)

Adjective fidēlis (neuter fidēle); third declension

faithful, loyal

true, trustworthy, dependable

earnestly, faithfully/constantly/loyally, reliably/accurately, securely/firmly

with reliance on God

fatum

Etymology

From fātus, perfect active participle of for (“speak”).

Noun fātum n (genitive fātī); second declension

destiny, fate

( in the plural ) death

( of a god ) speech

utterance, declaration, proclamation, prediction

doom, death, calamity, fate, destiny, natural term of life, utterance, oracle

Types:

karma ( Hinduism and Buddhism )

kismet ( islam ) the will of Allah

Rosalina is the depiction of faith and fate, for the two of them are intertwined securely by her character and faith being the main reason she continues to go on living despite not seeing much point to existence due to her upbringing. It’s always hoping that eventually she will find that glowing star that will spark her dull life, that something beyond herself will give her purpose besides her giving herself one, even though she would argue that she has indeed chosen her own path despite that path being dependent on outside forces. Rosa is the very example of two sides of the same coin: being faithful and dishonest, eager to backstab and yet just as eager to obey, she’s a complete contradiction and yet fits. A mark of a rising sun being overshadowed by the moon, a solar eclipse, perfectly describes as a sort of allegory between Vergil and herself: with herself depicting her husband as a sort of God-like figure that gives her purpose, and her shielding him or eclipsing his rays and greatness with herself: as if to protect and to hoard him away. He is merely a symbol of her love and her faith, how she views him almost godlike in instances or others thinks he is deserving of those roles because the current god fails everyone -- including herself. Putting all her purpose and reason to live into one thing and turning into blind faith: no questions, no reasons, no evidence -- he just will save everyone. This could be said of anything else she puts her faith into, having a penchant for getting obsessive -- even dangerously so -- towards individuals or objects she has dubbed worthy of her, that she feels are important to her existence.

When it comes to the fate part of the discussion, an omen or oracle, she is both due to the curse placed upon her by the heavenly lily. Not only was it so attracted to her drive for virtue ( faith ) despite her sinful upbringing, it feeds on her strong will and able body, the magical energy that is naturally within the Nephilim and moreso with the females of their race. She is a sort of endless vast space of nothing for the lily to implant in, to create everything anew, to bring forth the wrath of those too heavenly for the mortal coil and attempt again. Her destiny is almost tied to death and suffering, for she is the muck and stain that will push the lily from her empty depths, shrouded in darkness, into a beautiful golden flower -- a symbol of rebirth and ascension. To the curse she will die and again be born anew and pure, as something else: a soldier of faith for God to wield as a weapon on those deemed unworthy of his cause. Like those before her she is a promise of a greater calamity slowly approaching the horizon, almost like that of a lunar eclipse drenched in blood: a sign of great change, shedding the past, an ending to an era. The lily uses Rosalina as symbol to the end of the three races: demons, nephilim and the angels, an end to a war where things will be brought back to one, with humanity being collateral damage.

Plants and flowers are very much a theme for Rosa, a majority of it revolves around flowers like roses and lily’s, and with roses symbolizing romance, love and passion and lily’s with humility, devotion, motherhood and rebirth, with the flower also being used in funerals and symbolizing the departed has received their innocence again after death. The rose and lily have some common themes between them:

Rose

love

honor

faith

beauty

balance

passion

wisdom

intrigue

devotion

sensuality

timelessness

It’s also the carrier of secrets and a symbol of balance coupled with undying and immortal love that goes even far beyond death, it’s beauty shows promise, new beginnings and hope while its thorns contrast this with defense, physicality, loss and thoughtlessness. In the major arcane it’s: Magician, Strength, Death and Fool.

Lily

hope

faith

birth

purity

renewal

promise

passion

becoming

chastity

innocence

fertility

cleansing

motherhood

remembrance

transitioning

The lily also holds symbol as high eroticism, sexuality and fertility due to the pistils that protrude from its center, giving it both feminine and masculine symbolism. It also holds meaning for Christians as a symbol of chastity, innocence, purity and piety, along with being associated as the virgin Mary’s flower and her devotion. It has meaning with the trinity symbol with three petals associated with the lunar and solar eclipse cycles, while dreaming of a lily can be a sign of something needing to be done or a plan needing to be executed, hoping to seek rest, peace and tranquility. Lilies also appear in tarot cards, specifically: the Magician, Temperance and Ace of Pentacles.

There’s a lot of symbolism with new beginnings, hope, suffering, etc that really express the turmoil and fate of Rosalina and her place within the world she lives and in the story: especially in regards to motherhood and a new life with new responsibilities; casting aside thoughtless murder and sinful glee’s to instead fight for a more noble cause under a being she finds illuminating to her dark existence, helping to mold her beyond the simple facade of a beautiful monster, but a woman trying to obtain innocence she can only acquire by dying and coming back anew -- as something totally different -- hoping to reshape the world. However, one should not assume that her drive to fight for a better future means that it will be a good or just future, for her bias’ color her decisions and her beliefs run closely with: the ends justify the means.

#HEADCANON.#WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?#// going to add more and fix it up but #// so far I like it how it is now #// probs messed some shit up reading on symbolism of flowers etc etc #long post

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aster-azimuth · 6 years

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Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius 7/28

Eclipses have always been a bit of a mystery to me. I never really noticed any relevance to my own life in regards to them happening... But i also wasn't ever relating them to my natal chart. Eclipses are known to be periods of time that hold exceptional power and often catalyze destiny/fated events, dramatic changes, and/or just plain drama in our lives. Part of what always kept me from studying them was the confusion caused by the varied interpretations of them that are out there. Some say they're ill omens and most things beyond breathing should just generally be avoided until they pass. Others say they're potent opportunities to be seized. One thing all people seem to agree on is that they have heavy magic... As always, this meaning is derived from observation by thousands of people over hundreds of years.

This coming eclipse is a lunar one, and therefore deals with lunar themes like security, and the integration of our subconscious emotions and shadow side. Typically eclipses come in pairs, but this coming eclipse in Aquarius on Friday 7/27/18 is the middle one of three, so you'll likely have noticed a bit of a buzz around it online. I'll get in to what it might mean for humanity on a social scale, but first I'll give an example of how to divine meaning for the individual using my own chart as an example.

For me, the eclipse is happening with the Moon, Mars and the North Node conjunct my natal IC (Nadir), and the Sun conjunct my natal MC (Midheaven) - and these are in a t-square to Uranus in Taurus on my DC (Descendant). That's a whole lot of technical jargon (or as my dear friend Rachel of the The Audacity Project calls them, "zipzorps") in one run-on sentence... so let's break it down.

1. We have my natal Midheaven (careers, public image, ambitions) being lit by the Sun (conscious desire to self express, ego, and most essential nature) in the sign of his rulership, Leo (creative, generous, self-expressed, optimistic, playful, self-centered, egotistical and dramatic.) On the day of the eclipse it will be at 4° Leo.

2. On a full moon, the Sun is always opposite the Moon. The Moon (unconscious drives, emotions, behavior patterning, style of giving and receiving nurturance, etc) will therefore be in the opposite sign Aquarius (rebellious, revolutionary, socially-concerned, freedom-seeking, intellectual & emotionally detatched.)

An opposition is a point of reflection, as we are able to see who is opposite us at a table better than any other position, but because we're coming from two different sides, it's also about balance and compromise.

3. The Moon will be conjunct (occupying the same space as & strongly influenced by) Mars (drive, will power and masculine/yang energy) which is retrograde (revisiting/revising/returning/witholding/hesitating) on the South Node of the Moon (the point of past life karma, innate gifts/talents & habitual patterning).

4. And all that is conjunct my Natal Nadir (the point opposite the Midheaven which relates to family, ancestry, home life and parenthood.)

...Great, but what does it all mean?

Well meaning is always subjective, but let's start with the Leo Midheaven.

Four days before the eclipse in Cancer on July 11th, i was offered a position in a training program that would eventually turn in to a really great job. (Woo!) This was something i have longed to do as a career for most of my adult life, but never knew how to accomplish. I had to sacrifice focusing on other things to make it work, but i was up for the challenge, and it felt a lot like kismet from the outset... A very eclipse type thing to have happen. Then this past Friday (1 week before the upcoming lunar eclipse in Aquarius) I got an email rescinding/postponing the offer... (Cue the sad trumpet let-down sound effect. Waahmp waaaaahmp.)

(I also had another old business idea appear to revive around the same time as this, and since then appears to have fizzled out, but who knows...) Both of these occurences underline the theme of Mars in retrograde on the South Node. It's a time of uncertainty and inconsistent action.

Incidentally, on the same day that i got the bad news about the job training (fri) I was in surgery, having my tubes tied so that i can't have children. I did it for health reasons. Children are both an IC & Leo theme. Pretty straight-forward. Not much explanation needed.

Another influence to both this and the job situation is Uranus (the urge for freedom, sudden and complete change, miracles, awakening, traumatic or catastrophic events, and the unexpected), which will be square the eclipse at 2° Taurus and is currently conjunct my Descendant ("the other"/relationships).

I use whole sign houses for my natal chart, which puts libra as the sign of the first house, rather than its opposite, Aries. What this does is place each sign (for me, and likely you if you have a Libra ascendant) in the opposite placement of the house Libra rules (the 7th). Doing this makes for some interesting axis dichotomies and also for a bit of simplicty, because you're always still dealing with the same axis... I'll do a post specifically on the houses at some point, but for now let's stick to the eclipse, which falls on my 5th-11th house axis.

The 5th house is the house of children (among other things), and the moon will be in my 5th house on this day. I can't think of anything more literal and eclipse-y than having my tubes tied close to this event, short of getting pregnant or having a baby.

In the Placidus or Porphyry house systems (much more commonly used) the MC and IC are considered the doors to the 10th and 4th houses, respectively, and so in this system the moon would be falling in my 4th and the Sun in my 10th. This is also relevant to me, because the 4th-10th axis deals with security in the career (10th) and home life (4th). Clearly my career life is up in the air (Uranus square the midheaven) and though i haven't mentioned it, my home life has also been in a bit of upheaval for a while now. (Incidentally it appears to be chilling out now, but we shall see.)

Anyway, hopefully this illustrates how you can relate a transit like an eclipse to your own life. The Full Moon will be at 4° of Aquarius and the Sun at 4° Leo. Take a look at your natal chart and look for planet & angle placements within 5 degrees of these eclipse points, or at around 4 degrees of the other fixed signs Taurus and Scorpio. Also look for placements around 4 degrees of the other air and fire signs (Libra, Gemini/Sag, Aries) because this means the eclipse is trine (easy/lazy) or sextile (lucky) to that planet or placement, and it could bode well for you... Hey maybe it just makes you extra sexy (Leo) and smart (Aquarius). ;)

...

Here are some thoughts on the eclipse themes that may affect all of us. I will keep them brief since there is an abundance of this stuff online.

The Moon, Mars Rx (Rx = shorthand for retrograde) and the South Node in Aquarius can have to do with cutting things and people out of our lives that arent in alignment with our highest ideals (aquarius), or perhaps dealing with feelings of alienation socially... It could also maybe mean dealing with or making use of things or people from the past that have returned... or just dealing with their shit. Which brings us back to cutting out/letting go... But those are personal.

One very intriguing social theory that i heard put forth by the astrologer Claudia Caudill was that it could mean public moves by the established powers that be twd the establishment of the New World Order and/or a people's uprising against it. Leo represents the king/powers and Aquarius represents the people and revolutionary uprisings... Given the state of things lately it probably wouldn't be much of a shock.

With Uranus square the eclipse points, lots of big change is possible too. Could even be traumatizing for some... Could be miraculous for others. Probably will be intense in either case. This change could involve issues related to the themes of the Leo-Aquarius axis such as a change of heart/mind, social status or group dynamics, or the aforementioned power & class dynamics. It could also deal with Taurean issues like wealth, posessions, financial stability, health/vitality, and self-worth. With the famed ingress of Uranus in to Taurus earlier this year, this eclipse could be just the push needed to cause the big shift in the world's major financial institutions and currency (think World Bank Collapse // implementation of Cryptocurrency as a dominant form of money.)

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Please comment or message me with insights on how this event relates to your natal chart and your life! I'd love to hear from you! Hope this was informative. ✌😘

I'm available for natal chart and transit readings at a student rate so please email me at azimuthastrology(at)gmail.com for more info on that!

PS if you're just starting out learning astrology and this was too many zipzorps for you, that feedback is also helpful to me. I may create some backdated posts here that go over the very basics and vocab, for those that are interested, but there is tons of that info available online and in books (i recommend books) and I'd much rather focus on teaching others how to interpret their own chart using mine... Either way your feedback is much appreciated!

Also if you know eho made this artwork, please let me know, I'd like to give them credit.

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