#fml THIS GAME'S GIVING ME TOO MANY OPTIONS

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

This game is literally *killing* me

#Baldur's Gate 3 #gale dekarios #Astarion #halsin #Karlach #wyll ravengard #ahadowheart #Lae'zel #minthara #HOW IN THE FREAKING WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE #Like I am at my first playthrough so I am still looking around and I am so going for Gale #BUT I JUST MET HALSIN AND I AM LIKE #EXCUSE YOU SIR YOU ARE PERFECT? #fml THIS GAME'S GIVING ME TOO MANY OPTIONS

[neko-shinigxmi]

ALRIGHT, Hit me up with your LoZ theories!!

   OKAY, this is going to be a MAJOR DOOZY, so hear me out-! Buckle in, get snacks, a drink or two, cause whenever LoZ and I lock eyes, I write like a novelist who’s final draft is due Monday of next week…and it’s Friday.

   First off, I’d like to introduce my building block to all of my subsequent theories involving this series: There’s a fourth goddess that would complete the Triforce.

   This theory has…typically died out, but I won’t let it. I keep mine alive and kicking, because while most people try to nudge someone else into that empty slot (Goddess of Time, Goddess of Deserts (of the Gerudo), Hylia, etc), there’s a FAR more convincing, prior unknown option… One of darkness.

   Four themes are actually more prevalent in LoZ despite threes being the sign of the goddesses and- you would think- be more common compared to fours, but… Hey, there’s a lot to work with when you have four, especially when you look at it from the perspective of the Japanese.

   Anyways… Under the cut go the shorthand of my extensive notes.

We’ll start with four, the first basis for this theory I think of a lot: “Four” in Japanese can be read as “shi” [死 ]. This specific reading translates to “death” and is considered an unlucky number. If four goddesses could be unlucky….why not cast out for 3?

Though what’s interesting… I couldn’t find a source for it- so who knows, maybe the guy pulled it outta his ass- but there was a theory video involving Majora’s Mask that mentioned purple often being a color of death in Japan. Again, couldn’t find anything to back that claim up, but…. On the other hand…..

The image above is of the Shadow Medallion from Ocarina of Time. Not only is it in the color purple, but it’s found in the Shadow Temple (a place that seems to reek of death and horrors) and features…an upside down triangle, with three dots around it…… Hmm.

Equally baffling, the Four Poe Sisters from the Forest Temple in the same game. Four over three, again. Also, this is a trend we see repeat in ANY Four Sword adventure… Take a look.

Note how we can see the colors of the four goddesses represented here. Red for Din, of Power. Green for Farore, of Courage. Blue for Nayru, of Wisdom…and purple. The fourth, odd color out.

This is actually ANOTHER issue in Tri-Force Heroes. While on the surface, all Links would be accounted for…. There IS a fourth, forgotten Dopple…. Check it out.

Ditto for Minish Cap; four objects, purple the odd color out. Image link.

It’s suspicious, I tell you.

Four AGAIN shows up in Twilight Princess, wherein there are FOUR guardian Light spirits… Three helped the goddesses, while one was unaccounted for…. I believe this was Ordona, far removed in nearby Ordon Village.

Nintendo tries to state “Ordona” finishes Faron’s name (for Farore), but I personally find THAT a load of bologna.

Though not of four, Purple continues to be an important color in the LoZ franchise… Even when they remove it from the final product. See here, the removed Fairy Doors from Phantom Hourglass (Philos) and the almost-there sixth Lokomo of Shadow… See their art Here (Syda).

A theory persists Bryne might’ve still been the reincarnated “Shadow lokomo”, but it’s only a theory that’s never been confirmed. (Much like the stuff I do.)

As well… What purpose would there be for the goddesses to create flaws? Who would create Demise? Where did he come from? The darkness, the evil….and all the creatures that bloom from it…?

Having also learned of beings like the Horned Statue and looking more into Malanya (BotW)… There are beings who don’t fit the norm of most “godly” creations, but STILL fit into the role of such “gods.”

(Which, I should note now, I use loosely; as someone else pointed out during my binge-watching, “gods” are probably used in translation of “kami”… Which is more like “god or spirit” in Japanese. Kami are a complicated thing for our mindset of what gods are, but… Essentially, all things have a spirit and are alive. A worship of them can go from “spirit” to “god” as far as translation goes, but….. Y’know.)

I just personally don’t see a bunch of well-intentioned goddesses go a’slippin’ and spill out some evil, especially one as chaotically evil as Demise goes…

So I brought forth the idea of Orona. An exiled fourth goddess of Shadow. Chosen color purple. Creator of Demise and the evil within the hearts of Hyrule.

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   Oh, and the bit! About the Horned Statue and Malanya! That’s new!!! Which is what’s really gotten me jazzed about my theories involving LoZ… I just keep feeling like Nintendo is unintentionally validating me, even though it’d be a game-changer and probably would work TOO WELL for ending the series… Which is the last thing Nintendo would want to do.

   ….I mean, not that it’s going to stop me any. I can write out how my version of the series could end as Nintendo keeps making money and I keep giving it to them, too, LMAOOO. To be fair to them, don’t fix what ain’t broken….and I’ll sure keep buying Pokemon and Legend of Zelda long as the series keeps living up to the core of what they’ve always been, y’know?

   Anyways, wanna drop one more theory on ya before I set you free. :3c

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So… Remember Groose? Skyward Sword? Red hair, kinda tanned skin, golden eyes? Wanted the girl, lost out to MC, grew enough by that time that he wasn’t bitter about it, and flew off with friends to go be cool somewhere else?

Yeah, that guy. So…. Here me out.

Groose got cursed by Demise, too. It wasn’t ONLY Zelda/Hylia and Link who were dragged down into the reincarnation cycle.

Hear me out… Most people have made a fair guess that- by endgame- Groose and Co. flew off in the way of Lanayru Desert. (Once a populous ocean and with green fields… I’d joke about it being a downgrade, but I live in a desert, too, so… FML.) This location- deserts, specifically- have been KNOWN for housing the Gerudo race.

Now…. Please look at Groose compared to an OoT Gerudo.

They might not be the most similar people in existence….but you try to tell ME that a few who-knows-how-many-generations later, his kids could VERY WELL end up becoming the Gerudo race.

(Also not a flattering picture, but I don’t have a lot to work with premade…and I currently don’t have the ability to make one of these on my own.)

So what am I getting at? Groose was cursed to have his descendants bear his new host.

Theory goes like this: Groose is cursed. Never knows of it. He has kids normally… They have kids normally….for a few generations. As time goes on, more women are born, less men. Until no boys are born, only little girls who resemble their mothers. It never ceases.

Until the day the first boy in thousands of years is born. He is hailed a king of their people, in honor of such a rare, undocumented occasion.

Ganondorf, they name him. Unknowing that within the boy, is a demon, waiting for his time. Ganondorf shall grow up with a hatred unmatched, nobody will know why, but the goddesses will. They will do nothing unless called down with might.

Unwittingly, Groose continues a line of a people scorned nearly always by Hyrule, who’s king is ALWAYS destined to lose himself to the madness of the darkness that consumes his very being.

EDIT: BEFORE I FORGET, I also think it’s very telling of BotW to say there’s “not been another male Gerudo since the King who became the Calamity” that’s very HMM, isn’t it?? (Reference: Creating a Champion / Master Works)

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   My name is Aki, and I stan the LoZ franchise because I rebuilt it with my bare hands, how’ya doin’?

#thekingaboo #Aki answers #Legend of Zelda #idgaf if I put it in main tags #I fuss over this theory year by year #least I could do is have the bravery to put it in the main tags!!!! #anyways feel free to tell me whatcha think #cause OOP I'M STILL OBSESSED

[ryouverua]

Trial 5 - Post-Execution

Investigation 1 / 2 - second half is where I put my own theories that I penned before playing the trial.

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

Pre-Execution

;’’’) That’s a good look on you, Monokuma.

what this no i’m not crying you’re crying shUT UP

Have any other executions ended with the corpse literally landing in front of them in the trial room? I feel like this is a first???

uUM

K.... K1-b0? Buddy? Are - uh - are you okay? You’re looking a bit.... ?????

A-ARE YOU THOUGH -

Uh, okay??? So I want to go over Kaito’s execution and be upset about his death and everything but suddenly, this? This came out of nowhere??? also skldfj they took the ahoge off his sprite too omg

Crap I badly want to mourn Kaito for a while and yeah this is taking away from that but I don’t exactly want to not address K1-b0 literally BSoD-ing in front of us -

Oh! Gloating! I’m good for gloating too. Rub it in his face, Sweetcheeks. You’ve got my full backing here.

Normally I’m against kicking someone while they’re down but KICK HIM! KICK KICK KICK! I’m so down for this collective group smack-down.

Man, this Monokuma has been so much less in control and emotional than the previous Monokumas. I mean, the competition is pretty stacked - last Monokuma was literally the god of his world and an omniscient being that pervaded their entire ecosystem with one exception - but between throwing up a second motive in the first chapter, getting ‘overthrown’ by Monodam ** (even if he ‘went on vacation’ and this entire chapter, this ^ guy is barely hanging on by his teeth.

** I just realized the whole ‘Monodam takes over the killing game’ may have been bloody foreshadowing for this chapter sdlkfj

Monodam even got pushed to his limit for all of a whole chapter/killed two Monokubs and even though Kokichi didn’t directly kill them, he does have Gonta and Miu’s aka two classmate’s blood on his hands even with the most charitable look at chapter 4′s events before both Monodam and he ultimately take actions to end their own lives

this has been another mini-episode of ‘I read into things too much’

ANYWAY quietly skips over everything but the most pertinent Monokub dialogue, don’t mind me ~

Who would though, at this point? .... K1-b0, depending on what’s going on with him right now?

Shuichi is so pumped up thanks to Kaito and Kokichi’s teamwork! This has to be what Kaito was hoping for. Kokichi probably wanted to win the trial in its entirety, though...

Something about him saying ‘you’re certainly entitled to your opinion’ is incredibly grating and hilarious. It’s so.... passive-aggressive and banal? So un-Monokuma? I feel like behind the plushie, someone is pouting with their arms crossed tightly and just grumbling to themselves. They can’t even muster up a whole ~despair~ rant right now.

SWEETCHEEKS SWORE :O

I want to make a fun reference to Saimota but then I remember Kaito’s corpse is still warm on the ground a few feet away from them and I cry

LMAO IT SWITCHED TO A SILENT K1-B0 IMMEDIATELY AFTER....

K1-b0 isn’t about to like... become a killing game enforcer or something??? Like, completely flip his switch? fml this silence is dangerous

blah blah blah monokubs do their ‘cute’ schtick and I get tired of it, anyway -

oh great, it’s the sprite I blocked out of my brain up to this point

DID MONOPHANIE JUST DRAG ME

Please put away the tongue when they leave ffs

Aaah damn it, here comes the hammer. D:

Participant......... and then he mentioned about it going on for a long time, so.... a cycle...??? If Rantaro is repeating it, does that mean they’re all repeating it...??? The same sets of personalities/memories/talents, in new bodies every time or something - ? Is that an idea I should follow -

FFFF DID MONOKUMA JUST FLASH US

YES, PUN FULLY INTENDED SOMEONE HAS TO MAKE THOSE JOKES IN MIU’S ABSENCE

yeah hilariously while I was starting to think more about his statements Monokuma literally surprised me just like he surprised Shuichi and the rest of them lmao

Meanwhile Sweetcheeks is just twitching beside her, possibly even foaming at the mouth -

YEAH WHERE’S THE NEXT SET OF MEMORIES, BUDDY

anyway he talks about despair and hope again, I glare at the yellow text with tired resignation, etc

It really does sound like it’s something that’s repeating when he puts it like that, right??? And with Rantaro’s video - what is this, a test simulation of the gopher project or something?

Another wild theory appears - the original students with the talents Makoto/Hope’s Peak wanted to preserve, or for whatever reason digitized their memories/personalities/talents (think Gonta Alter-Ego) died - or were ‘hunted down’ aka the Ultimate Hunt - and in their place they pick up 16 ordinary kids to give them to, possibly by force. Or hell, maybe not, if Rantaro remembers and said something like ‘you wanted this’, though wasn’t that in regards to the killing game???  And then... they set up a simulation? Maybe? To test their viability? .... The question is who introduced Monokuma to the whole thing. Is that part of the test, or was that the cult sneaking in... and if the students really are ‘easily replaceable’, are they just picking up new ordinary kids as replacements? Are they looking for an outcome where they can defeat Monokuma? If this is a simulation, does it operate under the same rules as the NeoWorld program, where they die in real life?

Eeh... not sure how I feel about this. It feels like it has holes still. 8′D

ffffffff

!!!!!!

Aaaaw....

I mean I think we knew after the deductions in the first chapter but yes, mastermind confirmed - ! And -

WHAT

NO

WHAT

NO

WHAT

N O

W H A T

please go away

I-I MEAN... YOU REALLY DON’T.... HAVE TO...

BANGS HEAD AGAINST WALL

asdlkfjsdl why junko WHY MUST YOU BE BACK

So I was going to put this at the end of the post but then A LOT OF STUFF happened at the end of the chapter and it... doesn’t really fit there....

Okay... t-there is a second option. I mean, Junko could really be back for the third (fourth? do Shiro/Kurokuma in UDG count?) time and I really hope that isn’t the case fff - but ‘Junko’ facing away from us for a reason, right? Which means it could be someone dressed as her, right? Even if it did sound like her seiyuu...

But out of everyone left, assuming this isn’t happening at the exact same time/immediately after the trial... well, I mean, out of everyone alive, two people could be in Junko-dress right now, right? Both Maki and Tsumugi could fit, and considering we haven’t gotten to look at Tsumugi at all and her talent... I’m heavily leaning towards her.

..... except.................. cospox though. Crap. Hmm....

I think... I could maybe follow up on some of the speculating I made in this post? About Junko being elevated to a larger-than-life figure in history? Maybe there’s some leeway in there, in the same way that we have historical figures that end up being featured prominently in fiction, or even become warped/satirized in various ways because they’re so removed from us in our current time... and perhaps Junko has become more than a person in that same way, or even more than that, a title/role that can be inherited and passed down? Is it possible to get around cospox that way? It would fit in with her early Chapter 1 comments - let me see if I can dig them up from my old posts - ah this one, here, if you want to look at it. i also am totally into what she’s saying if you’re wondering why I remember this so well lmao

If she is from the cult... and this is a parallel to Angie, who constantly spoke about being a conduit for Atua’s message, Korekiyo, who was just a vessel for his sister according to himself, and Kaito, who literally acted in Kokichi’s place............. maybe....... this could work........... ????

...... except I don’t know if it’s enough of a stretch to get around this. I MEAN. MAYBE IT IS. MAYBE. I could just be stretching reeeeeeally far in order to avoid an inevitable Junko returning. maybe i just want to see the power of the ultimate cosplayer since it’s a hobby so dear to my heart idek

Whelp it doesn’t matter the scene is moving on without me anyway so 8′D

FUCK NO MORE TRAINING TIME OR TRAINING JOKES OR STUPID TITLES FOR THE TRAINING POSTS THIS IS THE WORST TIMELINE

Man I really love the close connections Shuichi has to people in this game. Maybe that’s why I’ve been enjoying it so much? He recognizes his classmates and what they have to offer, sure - but he’s a regular kid. He’s got his favoured connections, and the people whose deaths he feels more powerfully than the others, and the reactions he has to everything around him... well, maybe that’s my own bias because they really resonate with me. I don’t usually have much of an interest for audience surrogate characters (I don’t dislike them, I just, you know, don’t adore them or anything) but - and I know now that this is a divisive topic - I really like Shuichi’s personality. I really do. And I think he has one. He’s a quiet guy - he keeps most of his thoughts on the inside - and I get that for a lot of people, quiet = no personality, but the way he has responded to a lot of the situations that have come up previously have both been different than what I’m used to seeing from ‘protagonist’ characters and, erm, pretty... familiar to me personally and that has been a bit of a shock tbh. seriously what’s with this - same birthday, same blood-type, same hobbies, likes and dislikes, same Best Boy, etc....

I’m not sure where this tangent is going tbh, but I guess I’m sorta gearing up for next chapter? We don’t have many people left to work with. 8′D Kaito’s gone, Kokichi is gone, and all we have left are a collection of differing quiet personalities. It’s going to be very, very different, that’s for sure.

“Oh yeah I forgot this turned into a group activity like, three sessions in.”

“I mean, you did too by poisoning them both, but that’s neither here nor there.”

I am being a bit harsh on her though - to her credit, she seemed initially confused about why he was blaming himself (despite him repeating all the things she said to him during the beginning of the trial). There’s no one left to connect them now and she seems to have realized that - they’re going to have to finally do the heavy work themselves.

Like Chapter 4 Maki, I feel like she’s speaking in that same roundabout way she did when asking about Shuichi’s interest in Kaede. “Are you lonely too?” or even, “do you need someone to talk to/be with who understands how you feel?” She still has a lot of trouble being forthright but it’s great that she’s taking the initiative, especially after her earlier confession.

I hate to say it, but I think Shuichi may have ended up in a similar state as Ryoma after Chapter 1 if he was left spinning his own wheels...

Solidarity. 8′/

!!! 

For all the things that he did... fml I can’t think of anything better. He spent so much of his time trying to bring you both out of your shells!

I wonder if Shuichi is including his entire class in there. It was only a few days ago that Kokichi said he considered them all friends too. Also Korekiyo hilariously enough

omg they’re still so painfully awkward but it’s so sad and relatable and they’re trying to start building a bridge without Kaito acting as their support...

Ooh! This is the first time they’ve been approached aside from Tenko in Chapter 3, right?

Aaaw he’s so happy to see them. 8′)

YES!!! New team training! New team training!

Yes this is exactly what they need to do after the trial! They need to stick together! ... Now where the hell is K1-b0???

quietly skips over Tsumugi telling us we won’t lose to despair because I am stubbornly clinging to the time before hope/despair was brought back up -

- Sweetcheeks why

so much goddamn hope

But I’ll allow it because it’s leading to an overdue cheesy friendship speech and after the tragedy of chapter 5 I need that right now.

Though... hm. I was sort of hoping Shuichi and Maki could hash out some of her actions in the last trial, or Maki would offer some kind of apology. Would that have happened if they weren’t interrupted?

Yeeessss new image! I love it! Also lmao Himiko maybe you’d manage to finish one if you took the big bulky hat off...

Good - a commitment to keep living is important, especially from Shuichi. Now the majority of you are carrying someone’s wish, huh... except Tsumugi, unless you count Gonta maybe. I figure Miu could count for K1-b0, though I guess that’s a bit of a stretch too?

fuck my heart had been ripped out and stomped on, especially with the flashback to third chapter training:

.... See you, Space Cowboy.

Now fade to bla -

..... Huh.

I’m glad one of you is concerned after what happened. 8′/ I’ll excuse Shuichi and Maki because they have every right to be distracted by grief but between you and Himiko you couldn’t keep an eye on him?

Because seriously, none of them know where he is. And there is no way that’s a good thing.

BUT SOLIDARITY!!! also robophobic!!!

Well that’s an ominous way to end the chapte - oh never mind it’s not over??? What, three ‘epilogues’ this time? Not that I’m complaining because I’m happy to extend the trial for as long as necessary but jeez -

K.... K1-b0???

It was lost after the accident??? So it wasn’t just programming... a... a transmission then? So it really was some sort of antenna...

Wait that makes it sound like you weren’t just using it for guidance but actually being controlled by it?!

More hope and despair references -

Music change???

Wait, dude, what do you mean by that -

What

WAIT WHAt ARE THOSE TURBOBOOSTERS

HE CAN FLY?!?!

UM EXCUSE ME WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

Kokichi was dying to see all of these cool functions and only now when he’s literally dead do you show them off? RUDE

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK K1-B0 THERE ARE STILL LIVING STUDENTS DOWN THERE

MISSILES TOO -

OH WOW UM OKAY THIS WAS NOT THE QUIET CONTEMPLATIVE END-OF-CHAPTER SCENE I THOUGHT WE’D BE GETTING DEAR LORD

dON’T YOU ‘END TITLE’ CARD ME, GAME

a;sdlkfja

i

i forgot this

happened at the end of the

chapter

oh god

skldfj

ugh, ghghhgh

cool thanks sweetcheeks and I will cherish this forever,,,

...

assuming he survives long enough to

#Ryou plays drv3 #Shuichi Saihara #Maki Harukawa #Kiibo #Keebo #K1-b0 #Kaito Momota #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #Himiko Yumeno #Tsumugi Shirogane

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 3]

It’s time for hunting for thieves with Burgh! Long may no one else die in the process!

Team headcount:

Boeing (Latios)

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Ptera (Archeops)

Palm (Shroomish)

I’ll also throw the Miracle Seed on Palm, since I forgot to do that last time.

Hm. This is technically part of the same route Palm came from, but it’s a different area. I think if the randomizer considers it part of a different area, I will too. So if it has something from the outside part, I won’t catch it. If it turns out they both happen to have some things in common, and the first one was one of those, oh well. It was the first one in the area.

Stepping forward to find out if we get a new one or not.

I don’t want it.

This might be a bad idea, but I think I’m going to let Palm just murder it. I do not want an Octillery, and then I’ll still only have one thing from Pinwheel Forest. It might be something I end up regretting, because as of right now, if my team wipes, I have nothing eligible to start over with, but.

Exp gotten, Grape avenged one more time.

So far there is nothing in this forest except for Octillery. What is this hell.

I do not like the Patrat line. I might never like it again. Appropriate that Team Plasma currently seems to do almost nothing else.

Okay, so for future reference, the insides of Pinwheel Forest are counted as a different area by the Randomizer. That future might not be so far off, depending on how this goes. The important thing is that something besides an Octillery can exist in these woods.

I have photo evidence.

Without it, even I wouldn’t believe at this point.

Awesome, recovered the skull. Considering the size, I am not sure how a boy my age manages to do anything with it but not be crushed by it, but thankfully the plot is uninterested in such complications. Skull get.

I have no memory of what that means. I assume it means that if I live long enough, I’m gonna beat you up.

Oh good, we give the skull to Lenora. She’s someone I have faith in to be able to lift it. She is very mighty, and when I don’t think about the consequences of our battle I still am highly appreciative of her.

I basically don’t do anything for the next twenty minutes but run around and let Ptera kill stuff. I am overusing Ptera because Ptera can one-shot everything into oblivion, and that’s a comfort.

But.

There is good news after I remember I have other pokemon.

Boeing

no longer has Psywave.

I’d never really bothered looking up the accuracy, I just was sad when the damn thing never hit. It turns out, in addition to having variable damage, Psywave has 80% accuracy.

I have never hated a move so much.

It’s gone now.

Boeing can murder things.

Together, friend. We will make it to the end of this.

Oh, the bridge! This is the one with the bridge! Bridges, even!

Best part of this generation for sure.

Now we’re in sections I think I remember a little more about. Mostly in relation to how often I ended up lost in this place. It’s not really that difficult, but for many, many years all of the towns and other locations were nice and neat 2D things. You might not know where to go next in some spots, but having trouble figuring out where you were wasn’t really a thing.

Along comes Castelia City, and it’s all “hold my drink,” and I, a mere ten-year-old, trip down back alleys trying to find out what in the heck I’m meant to be doing.

Now I, a mere ten-year-old, will probably do much the same. With an active interest in seeking out any grass.

The real question here is which evolution stone I want. I can’t use Panpour. So I guess... hm. I might as well go with the Fire option? I think I mussed with the evolution settings, so I’m not sure if I need them or not (I shouldn’t need to trade anything to get it to evolve, but past that, it’s one giant shrug). I also don’t have anything in my party that needs a stone yet, and there is no way to guess at what I might find in the future.

What I do know is I have a Grass and a Water pokemon, so let’s just round that out. That’s what the chimp options are there for, after all.

Fire Stone get.

I have zero memory of what’s up with the ship, but boats usually mean trainers to fight. Whatever the case, it is presently plot-locked.

We’re going through the city to try to gather all the Dancer trainers for a squad, which basically means beating up more of the Pan-squad, and a guy in the alley jumps out and gives us Flash.

Pokemon games are the best.

Dance squad assembled. Now that I think about it, I think this might be the version where rotating battles are introduced. I also think that might not be the right name, but the important bit is that three pokemon are participating at once and you can rotate through. I bring this up now because I’m wondering if talking to these guys again will set one off.

...Nope. I do get an Amulet Coin, though. Those are always good to have.

A building full of trainers I didn’t remember! That’s much better than running back to Pinwheel Forest or going ahead for grinding. Too bad this resource doesn’t renew itself.

Oh, nice. The guy to our right gave us Quick Balls and Timer Balls. Those are some of my favorites.

I’m not touching the Gym until everyone’s 30. I already regret that decision, but you know something else I regret? No longer having a Fire type. So yeah, this is the program and we’re sticking to it.

A Hyper Potion and Revive are also in this building. One of those has no use to us, so yay free money. Here’s hoping that we don’t use up the other one right away. I’m already imagining the horror that is the Elite Four.

Also, since I never play these games with the volume on (ancient suspicions about battery life from the era of AAs), can I just say how wonderfully spooky the Scientist theme is?

Heeeeeey. That is a good thing to have.

Time to check if I’m able to go forward, or if my grinding has to be stuck at Pinwheel Forest. As much as I like the bridge, let me tell you my preference.

Forward enough, anyway.

I think there will be some sort of roadblock ahead, but I should be able to come across my next teammate first. And some Fishermen.

Palm enjoyed meeting the Fishermen.

First encounter spotted.

Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever used one of these in a game before. The evolution is never worth bothering with unless you’re shooting for the pokedex entry, and I think by the time you run into its first form, you’ve already got most of your team arranged already.

The real question is if I have something that won’t kill it...

I think Cut might be the answer.

...I am the worst trainer ever, fml.

So. Uh.

The Escavalier is caught.

Apparently it knew something besides Fury Attack and Leer. Funny story, that.

Boeing is dead.

Ahahaha. Wow. I do not want you. You murdered my best friend. You are also now more necessary than you were. So. You need a name.

You’re a dark knight.

First girl on the team is named Batman.

Batman does not kill.

The real challenge of this game is going to be whether or not I can ever have six usable pokemon at a time. Dang. This is much rougher than anticipated. Boeing was one of those beasts I thought would be with me until the very end.

Of course, the same can be said for all that now lie here. I was definitely arrogant enough to assume that I could go through the game with none of you dying.

Serves me right, I suppose.

I really hope I don’t need to teach something else Cut now.

Goodbye, Boeing. We had four levels of being useful together. You taught me to hate Psywave, and your sacrifice brought Batman to the team. In time she will learn to honor that.

Batman is Adamant and loves to eat. That is about the best Nature I could ask for. She isn’t going to be very useful at the moment, but she has the Exp. Share now, so. We’re going to change that.

This run just got much harder. Again.

Apparently Bug is the theme of this desert.

That is one definite disadvantage to starting with a Psychic pokemon. Bug hurts. It doesn’t help that I almost constantly forgot what Boeing’s typing was.

Huh. Geodude also frequent this area.

It’s funny. Out of what’s available, so far I’ve been pretty darn happy with what I’ve ended up with. I mean, I would prefer Batman being a little weaker so I still had Boeing, but Escavalier is not awful. And I’ve never used one before. All praise the randomness.

You know what else is funny?

All the wild Escavalier here need multiple hits even with moves that are effective. All those turns I spent Cutting Batman down to size, allowing room for Boeing’s death, were unnecessary.

Haaaaa. Live and learn.

Unless you’re Boeing.

Frogger’s just going to murder everything in this route while the meager party slowly grows to level 30. Once more I feel my boredom setting in, but at this point I don’t think being less cautious is really a good idea. Getting six pokemon in my party has become something to strive for instead of the expectation.

-checks in an hour later-

Someone save me from this hell.

I think when the time comes, I’m going to take Ptera and Palm back to Pinwheel. The level differences aren’t that great, and ALL the Blaziken kills would probably do them both some good. Ptera can probably take the things in the desert, but his Defense is terrible if something goes wrong (which it easily might) and I’m not so sure about Palm. Either way Palm’s getting the Exp. Share for it, and that’s probably still twenty minutes away, because grinding.

I really wish I hadn’t accidentally killed Timon and Boeing.

You never realize what a useful tool letting pokemon faint is until you can’t. Sigh.

I am going to giggle like a small child every time that question pops up. My only good decisions in this run are their names.

Fun fact: Grinding is boring.

Batman and Frogger are all set, so I did make my way back to Pinwheel Forest in the hopes of helping Palm’s unfortunate Nature out with some better EVs and just generally having him and Ptera fight against things they could kill in one hit.

That’s working out.

This is taking forever.

I refuse to do this for the next gym. Isn’t failure the spice of any challenge?

I don’t even know what the next Gym is... Wait. Is it the electric model one? I think it might be. I remember liking her. I like her pokemon less. Flying electric squirrels are hardish to kill.

Ptera learned Acrobatics. So that’s neat.

Two. More. Levels. Come on. Bring on the massive surge of wild Blaziken.

Have I already pointed out that this is one of the generations where exp is calculated in part by level differential? The more I need the less I get.

At long last. It is done.

In your memory, Timon.

Dude, c’mon. It was going to be touching. I was going to murder all your Bugs and be like, “this is for all the things I accidentally got killed on my way here!” and now you’ve gone and ruined it with your plot interruptions. Sigh.

I’m supposed to go to one of the piers. If I’d been reading the text instead of mashing buttons I probably would know which one, but walking down each option and trying them all in order is fun, right? Right.

It’s always the last one you check.

I remember just enough of the story to say that was one heck of a mistake they done made.

Oh wait, Bianca’s pokemon? Oh. That’s much sadder.

Team Plasma grunt shows up, and it’s time to run after it. After all, I am ten. I am the most reliable aid anyone could ask for in a situation such as this.

I say, brilliant deduction, Burgh!

There is probably art of Burgh and Looker somewhere on the internet. They solve crimes.

Guess who has thirteen levels on Team Plasma like a boss. It is all four of my remaining pokemon. Yay.

They keep bringing up the Seven Sages, and I keep not remembering any of them except for one. My memory was that there was the one guy. And even that guy was pretty blurry. Now there are seven?

I just wanna catch stuff and pick fights hurry up plot.

The plot hears my requests and punishes me with an infodump about pokemon mythology of the region. Why this.

For my current purposes, I don’t care, but I actually like Black and White’s background for Unova. I like stories about heroes and dragons, and having the cover legendaries being relevant in things that aren’t just glamorized sidequests. It’s a fun game.

The monsters are just so much funner.

Let us try this again!

I love all the gyms in this generation.

Our first victim starts with a level 20 Sewaddle and a level 20 Venipede.

Ptera covers his claws in their blood.

...Okay, that one’s a little too dark. The opponents’ monsters aren’t actually dying, just fainting. My guys are the only ones who can die, adding new weight to Batman’s name. She will go into battle for justice, never inflicting lethal damage, yet she might one day fall.

Burgh’s pokemon are probably mid-20s. It’s fair to say I didn’t need to grind as much as I did, and it’s also fair to say I’d do it all over again because the last Gym was traumatic.

I wonder if part of how they decide Gym Leaders is asking them what they’ll do if they get their own building and carte blanche to design it. That should be the new Sorting question: What Type would your Gym be, and what are your thoughts on its interior design?

I think one of them this gen has you being shot through the air with cannons.

We look so serious.

Burgh does not.

First up is a level 21 Whirlipede. I feel fairly confident in saying that Ptera is up to the challenge.

Following that is a level 21 Dwebble. It does not have Sturdy.

Last is a level 23 Leavanny, and if you think these short sentences are a really uninspired way of describing such an epic fight, you’d be right, but they did not have much to work with. Ptera took everything that didn’t have an Ability preventing such acts down in one hit.

His prize.

He has the option of learning DragonBreath, and I normally wouldn’t bother with it, but considering how worried I am about whether or not I’ll manage to have six pokemon in a party at once, AncientPower with its 5 PP taking up a move slot is... maybe not what I want to go with.

On the other hand, Ptera’s a physical attacker and DragonBreath only does 60 with no STAB.

We are abandoning the way of the dragon, Ptera.

That was Boeing’s realm.

Badge get! Now, are we going to be able to leave the Gym without the plot calling?

No. The answer is no.

Look, it’s free exp! I mean one of my best friends!

With that invitation received, our time in Castelia comes to a close. This segment saw our most painful loss yet. Hopefully that has taught me a thing or two about being careful, but those lessons tend to be really temporary with me and video games.

Until next time.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge

[fmlfpl]

Happy New Year Lineup Lamentations - GW21

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Team seems reasonable enough for this GW and don't really see a straight swap that is great for me to do.

I have a few things in mind with two frees next GW to do so saving feels pretty responsible to me. Get another gameweeks worth of info and maybe do a -4 triple move next looks likely.

GK:

Schmeichel (new)

Woodman has been an able servant for me recently since I began to start him and I see no reason to change that now.

Schmikes is a cuck so I'm happy to bench him for the rest of the season / for however much longer I own the fuck.

DEF:

Pereira (new)

If Ricardo doesn't get me points tomorrow I'll be beside myself. He's hung 4 points in my team over the 5 gameweeks since I purchased him and is looking like my worst transfer in of the season to date...which is really fucking hard since there is a ton - and I mean a ton - of competition for that honor.

I really want to keep patient with him since they have a good run of games right now but he's pretty expensive. Perhaps I'll stick with double Leic defense and downshift him to one of the other guys to free up money...uncertain...we'll see.

Alexander-Arnold (SHU)

Trent still in there as he has been since GW1 for me. Nothing to say about him. Not worried about him starting - feel like Kloppo will go strong again and then give the first team a long break.

Kelly (nor)

Kelly jesus christ been back to making me want to kill myself again lately...but I think a clean is once again a reasonable shout for us. We'll park at Norwich which they probably haven't really faced once all season?

Hard to imagine them being able to break us down. That is to say if they are required to - Kelly assist to Pukki is always on.

Rico (whu)

Lastly is Rico. Hoping for 1 point..expecting 0.

MID:

Salah (SHU)

Mo been absurd in the underlying stat category and absurdly shit in the actual fpl point category. He stays.

Martial (ars)

Tony M glove merchant has been doing good things recently and feels like a very good hold for as long as he's fit. Could die any day goes without saying but tip of the spear and looking good feeling good.

Also no coincidence that his uptick in performances has come with an uptick in glove wearing with short sleeves. Get in there Tone.

De Bruyne (EVE)

Last guy is Kevin. Good Kevining.

FWD:

Agüero (EVE)

Kun came in with a cap goal for me last GW and it was a really nice feeling. No clue if he starts tomorrow...and for that reason..I'm not capping him.

Vardy (new)

Vardz back off his rest picks himself whatever we are all playing this game with 10 men and have been for a month or so now.

Maupay (CHE)

Lastly is Neal. Fucking Neal been doing my head in.

Hopefully he has a good performance against Chelsea and they have gr0b back and shit and they can create a bit more than they did last game. Really dunno about Neal. Have been fawning over him from a distance for a long long while but now that he's in there is just something that does not fill me with confidence even though he should probablyyyy tick along well in this medium-long term good fixture run for his price.

Come on Neal let's go Neal.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

Vardz for me.

Played around with some perversity but the final check with the wife confirmed Vardy. Wife says "I've never heard you say Vardy disappointed me but I've heard you say Mo disappointed me many times"...not wrong wife of mine....not wrong.

Realistically all the points echoed on the pod still ring true to me. Not getting a huge urge to go elsewhere and I think that it's lopsided enough in Vardy's favor compared to the others to keep me on him. glhf.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Off of the biggest red arrow of my season (life?) ushering in my worst rank of the season (life?) I’m just saving because I can’t find a punt who is worth it and my lineup and my depth are both fine.

Will I just plunge into a deeper and darker hole? Yeah I suspect I probably will... My team sucks outside of the guys who everyone owns. I see very few margins where I’d be gaining on the field even at my monstrous ranking so I’ll just take another one on the chin and reassess next week I guess...

If I end up wildcarding for next GW then I’ll regret saving my transfer this week but if I don’t end up wildcarding then this is definitely the right move to try and yank my team out of the hellhole where it currently resides.

GK:

Ryan (CHE)

I got him because of the saves and the bonus points and he hasn’t gotten a single bap since GW12 so that’s all going perfectly according to plan.

Was cool and a little bit confusing to see a “6″ in my GK slot last week and well I’m over the confusion part and I’m ready to see points come in again.

Fuck Chelsea come on Mat.

DEF:

van Dijk (SHU)

Sheff U are tough man. They out xG’d City just a couple days ago which is a thing that never ever happens.

I’m sure they’ll manufacture at least a couple of decent chances just gotta hope that the CBs and the GK keep playing at this elite high level and then it should be a clean.

Söyüncü (new)

I expect Leicester to go back to being tight and no better place to kick it off then the least progressive team in the division.

Kelly (nor)

I don’t support Palace so I don’t directly feel the pain and anguish that Walsh does when Kelly does something really stupid and really bad to lose the clean, although it is annoying.

I still feel fine with him in general and content with Palace’s ability to park and yeah in good fixtures he’s still a good guy to have in there for me.

MID:

Salah (SHU)

If you build it, points will come.

Maddison (new)

Feeling really good about Maddo for these next four.

Might yo-yo him in and out GW25-GW27 with three hard fixtures in a row and then bring him right back for the good run following it.

It seems like in the tough ones Leicester play too conservatively and have a very hard time threatening goal.

De Bruyne (EVE)

Good guy. I hope Bilva keeps starting in that sorta deeper #8 role and Dilva doesn’t come straight back in. That’d be best for Kev.

Cantwell (CRY)

Rolling with that BTE - Big Todd Energy - into the new year.

Hoping his ~1.5 shots per 90 are good chances and go into the back of the net.

FWD:

Kane (sou)

Don’t like this one for Kane but who knows; Spurs are so hard to predict.

Soton has been playing well lately and they don’t concede much. The press looks good the team looks good and all of a sudden it’s sorta hard to imagine them getting relegated.

Hoping Mou goes for some guys who can pass in the midfield because that’d be a nice thing for Harry. And maybe he’ll draw another penno... Seems very possible with the nut-jobs Cedric/Bednarek/Stephens/Berty.

Vardy (new)

Whatevs, boring.

Jiménez (wat)

New guy didn’t get a start last week so hopefully this is when he begins ticking and being a friend of mine for the rest of the season... Fully expecting his returns to fall of a cliff beginning this GW.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

I wanted, desperately, to find someone else who seems reasonable to cap for me but I just couldn’t find anything. A lot of bad matchups and bad teams and Vardy and Leicester playing Newcastle off of a rest it’s just too good. It’s automatic.

So we’re all playing without a captain this week and that’ll somehow go very badly for me, not sure how yet, but it will.

Happy New Year fuckers.

—

NOT RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: desertbug

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

Well, Happy New Year everybody, and may the points flow freely.  At least for us... who cares about the rest of the world playing this game, right?

Not sure I covered myself in glory with my prior stab at Guest Lambs but I'm going to put that on Emery's misuse of Aubz, rather than anything that I actually had wrong, right?

But how did we let him go without marveling that his full name was Unai Emery Etxegoien?  No wonder he was always confused out there, he was probably still trying to figure out how to pronounce his own name.

Anyway, here we go...

OUT: Maddison

IN: Martial

I know it may be a matter of not giving Maddison enough of a chance, since I just brought him in a few weeks ago and his underperformance came in Leic's toughest fixtures of the year, but: A) I was feeling really bad about not having a pair of gloves for the winter, and B) I was feeling really bad about not having anybody to reap points from this week against Arsenal's misguided ineptitude of a defense.

United still seem to do poorly against teams who park a defensive bus, but Arsenal is totally incapable of doing such and won't dare to do so at home with new manager against big name opponent.  Knives out, Tony, get me some points.

Oh yeah, and making the move also because C) I really just dislike Maddison and I think he's overrated.  He hasn't delivered against a quality defense since GW11 vs Palace and since then, he had a goal at home vs Arsenal, a goal at home vs Watford, and two assists at Villa.  Apart from that, six blanks vs bha, EVE, NOR, mci, LIV and whu.  Don't know why I got him in the first place, but new year, new midfielder.

GK:

Henderson (liv)

Not great at all, but maybe some saves.  I know we've been banging on about how keeper moves are a waste, but Pope to Hendo back for GW16 has been OK for me, net +7 since the change.  No options for me though, since my other keeper is plying his trade in Swansea.

DEF:

ALPHABET CITY -- TAA/VVD (SHU)

Alphabet soup combo of Trent and Virgil looks like tasty meal for some time now.  Mmm mmm good.  

Söyüncü (new)

Need Foxes to get their defensive capabilities straightened out again and a match with the third-lowest scoring team in the EPL might be the thing to get happy against after the woodchipper that Leicester just went through.

MID:

De Bruyne (EVE)

For my Everton boys' sake, I hope the damage is fairly limited, because Kev points are almost meaningless anymore, what with him being in 50% of teams. Don't really see him as being a huge cap shout, so probably just meaningless points.

Mane (SHU) 

Wary that he could rest at any time, and Liverpool does have a derb with Everton coming up on Sunday, but he's certainly not going to be any place other than in my starting eleven for tomorrow.  Probably a good reason not to cap him though.

Alli (sot)

Spurs certainly shat the bed at Norwich last GW, and may still be misfiring this week without Kicky McKickerSUON in the lineup, but Soton are dire, and even Dier might put up points against them.

As above with Mane, Alli an autostart while healthy.

Martial (ars)

Get in there, new boy, and show me some points against that Arsenal defense.  Wouldn't be a crazy cap shout, but not the smartest move, either.

Cantwell (CRY)

Todd is well rested, and my only real roster choice to be made came down to playing him or playing Kelly.  Just going to stick to basics and start the attacker at home, here.

FWD:

Vardy (new)

Well-rested after being off last GW on new-baby duty, Vardz strikes me as the kinda guy who would much rather be out there terrorizing whatever kind of makeshift injury-addled defense Steve Bruce is able to throw together than being at home with his new babyspawn.

Steve Bruce still doesn't know if he's on a ship or a chicken farm.

Abraham (bha)

May well be Tamela's last chance in my lineup, so he'd better get out there and do something with it.  I appreciate the goal he gave me this last GW, but Chelsea still seem rather diabolical and I'm perfectly comfortable going without him for a bit if that's the way it goes.

If I had any inkling that OGS might realize that Greenwood is actually really good and should be starting, I'd love to stick him in as a starter in place of Tammy, but that would require OGS to actually be smart and I don't think that was under his Christmas tree.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

Game theory out the window.

Owned by 51% and even without that, seems like the best of my options for this week.  Don't feel like this is the GW to be either brave OR stupid.  Won't gain ground by capping and I'd expect that if he flops, we all flop together and I won't lose much ground either.

#lineup lamentation #lineup lamentations

[arbitraryallegory]

Extremely niche post

hahaha wherein I work through an issue I have with Dragon Age Inquisition in my usual meandering way fml

So, I’ve been playing Dragon Age Inquisition. I picked it up at Gamestop because they were having a buy 3 get 1 free sale and I wanted FFXII Zodiac Age, FFXV, and the Kingdom Hearts collection. I had a different game as my fourth, but the salesperson told me I needed the playstation subscription thing to play it, so I passed. I asked her if she had any recommendations based on the games I was buying and she suggested DAI, so I was like okay. I play games so little that I’d probably never get around to it anyway.

About 2 weeks ago, I put it in on a whim and very quickly got hooked. I’m not a gamer. I’ll go months without picking up a controller, but sometimes I want to play ever second of free time I have. When I play I play for fun, not for the purity of the experience, so fuck yeah I play on normal (I’ll probably even do casual if I do another playthrough) and I walkthrough the hell out of it and google every big decision I make, because I am also absolutely the type of person who will go back and replay 20 hours if a decision I made earlier breaks bad.

Here’s the thing. I’m playing as a girl Levellan (Dalish elf) mage Inquisitor (named Ghilanna) and I romanced Sera (city elf rogue) before I spoiled myself for what a bad idea that is in my case. 

(Ongoing I’m going to assume whoever is reading this is at least slightly familiar with dragon age lore or else what are you doing lol. Go read the wikipedia, I guarantee you get lost down a rabbit hole for hours.)

I’m playing my Inquisitor as open minded, but absolutely connected to her heritage (if not completely devout to the elven pantheon), and skeptical of the Andrastian religion, the Chantry in particular since they’re responsible for a lot of the things that have happened to the elves. She denies being the Herald of Andraste if asked, but is content to let most people believe what they want. One of the things I love most about Inquisition is that it gives you a lot of room for imagination, so you can headcanon many different motivations for the same decision. 

In my mind, Ghilanna has taken on this burden of the Inquisition mainly because it’s the right thing to do; she’s the only one with the ability to close these rifts in the Veil, but even if that wasn’t the case she could never turn her back on innocent people--no matter what race they are. But she’s smart and she is very shrewd, so I also think she sees this as an opportunity to lift her people out of the mire and muck. With the Inquisition’s resources, the friends she’s made, the favors she’s owed--even when she disbands the Inquisition at the end of all this (provided they win, of course) she’ll still have quite a bit of personal power and prestige, and she plans on wielding it to make the world a better place for everyone, especially elves. It’s why I’ve been so circumspect in choosing customization for Skyhold. Inquisition heraldry and banners and throne, to show that everyone is welcome, no matter where they come from. I allowed Chantry drapes for the Andrastian’s comfort, but I chose Elven stained glass windows and Dalish banner crowns.

This is where the problem with Sera comes in. Sera is a city elf, which means she was in an alienage at least for a little while (Alienages are basically walled slums in cities where elves are sequestered. It’s almost impossible to get out of them and live in the city proper, and the few who manage it are usually driven back eventually). She was adopted by a human woman when she was a small child, and the woman--though she seemed to be at least mostly well-meaning--told some terrible lies that gave Sera a ton of trust issues. She’s internalized the discrimination against elves to a really heartbreaking point. She rejects any attempt to connect with her as an elf by making scathing remarks about being “too elfy”; she’s human trained so she can’t wear armor for elf-trained rogues. She feels like other elves look down on her, so she takes the initiative and repels them first and rejects every single aspect of elven culture. It’s incredibly difficult to romance her as an elven Inquisitor (which should have been a clue to what was coming tbh)

As I said, I spoiled myself after I’d already managed (somehow) to get on her good side and start up a romance with her. It turns out that after a certain quest, Sera tells the Inquistor that she thinks something that happened on the quest was bullshit. I’m not clear on exactly what happens, but I’m pretty sure it involves the old elven gods. Sera wants the inquisitor to agree with her that it’s total bullshit and what they saw wasn’t real, because how can THAT be real AND the Maker of Andrastian faith both be real? If the inquisitor disagrees and thinks there’s a chance it was real, or even that it’s at least worth exploring, she’s then given another chance when Sera pleads with her to lie about it! Say it was all nonsense so things can go back to normal with them. If the Inquisitor refuses to lie to her, Sera breaks off the relationship and there’s no way to get her back and all the other romances are also locked after this point.

Interestingly (frustratingly) Sera will have this fight with Inquisitors of other races, but she’ll only dump an elven Inquisitor, accusing her of thinking Sera’s not elfy enough and that they don’t fit. I watched the scene and my blood pressure went THROUGH THE ROOF.

Consensus seems to be that Sera is just overwhelmed and eventually comes around, but this whole thing really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I could’ve taken the easy way out and just lied to Sera, but I honestly don’t think Ghilanna would ever do that. First of all, Sera has made a big fuss about the Inquisitor being one of the few people she can trust, so she’d never ever lie to her. Second of all, this is a stupid argument!! Where is my “Lets not fight about this right now.” option???? I’d even take the “It has nothing to do with us” if only it didn’t include the line about it being nonsense! Third of all, how dare you spoil my adorable lesbian romance?????

Anyway, it killed my enjoyment of the romance, and I’m a weenie who can’t even break up with an AI so I restarted from a save point 16 hours prior and replayed the game without romancing her. Maybe someday I’ll do a whole new playthrough with a Qunari or a Dwarf and romance her. The only people I can’t romance with this character are Dorian and Cassandra and I can’t do Sera if I’m a male, so it would be another whole playthrough just for Sera basically. smdh.

Anyway I just wanted to vent.

#not tagging this

[jennifer-23-gymnastics]

Challenge Game

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions 

Tagged by @dizzykat28560 Thanks and sorry for taking so long to do this. I started ages ago, left it in my drafts to finish and forgot

1. Coke or Pepsi: Both are gross and make my tongue fizz 2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney 3. Coffee or Tea: Both are gross 4. Books or Movies: Movies. I wish I had the attention span for books but I don’t. 5. Windows or Mac: Windows 6. DC or Marvel: I had to look up lists of each of their films to check. I have seen zero DC films and one Marvel film (Guardians of the Galaxy. It was brilliant. I will see the sequel) therefore Marvel wins. 7. Xbox or Playstation: I had a Playstation once a long time ago so I’ll go with that. 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: What?? 9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night owl although I’ve now been doing the 9-5 job thing for long enough I wake up early now too. Fml 10. Cards or Chess: Cards 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate 12. Vans or Converse: They all look the same 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Who?? 14. Fluff or Angst: Fluff 15. Beach or Forest: Beach 16. Dogs or Cats: Cats 17. Clear Skies or Rain: Clear skies  18. Cooking or Eating Out: Eating out. I successfully went a whole school year at uni without cooking at all (fyi I don’t recommend this). 19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Mild 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas! We do Halloween a little bit but Christmas is a whole month so it’s better xD 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Too cold. I actually quite like feeling chilly 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Resurection. I’m sure I’d accidentally cause havoc but oh well 23. Animation or Live Action: Live action 24. Paragon or Renegade: I don’t know this one either 25. Baths or Showers: Showers 26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: I’ve never seen either 27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi? Sci-fi 28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they: “If Love Could Have Saved You, You Would Have Lived Forever”-Anonymous ”I will prove myself strong when they think I am sick. I will prove myself brave when they think I am weak” ~ E.Lockhart

29. YouTube or Netflix: YouTube 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter 31. When You Feel Accomplished: After the gym 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Trek 33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paper 34. Handwriting or Typing: Handwriting unless it’s long or needs to be read by someone else cos my handwriting is a mess 35. Velvet or Satin: No idea 36. Video Games or Movies: Movies 37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? Dragon owner 38. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset because bed time is better than getting up time. 39. What’s your favourite song? Omg that’s hard. Also my music taste is embarrassing. Right now it might be Hold Your Dream from Fame. 40. Horror Movies yes or no: No. At least not too scary. Funny horror. 41. Long hair or short hair: Long, although I recently cut quite a bit off mine today cos it’s got too long 42. Opera or Theatre: Theatre! Please never make me see an opera lol 43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Star Trek 44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? I started thinking about this too seriously and what would be least likely to kill me but there is no good answer to that so I’ll just say chocolate 45: Older guys or young guys? Maybe older? At 23 I can’t go much younger without it being creepy but I have more options older 46: If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be? All of the trashy reality shows out there. 47: Singing or dancing? I can’t do either but if I could do one it’d be dancing 48: Instagram or Twitter? Twitter cos I don’t want to have to take a photo every time I want to say something and a lot of my tweets are links or replies I don’t want everyone seeing. 49: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS? “Your mind will give up before your body does” or something like that. I follow enough gymnasts that I hear it way too regularly and it annoys me cos that’s not true for everyone and, for those who are pushing themselves beyond what they’re capable of, that quote could stop them seeing that and literally kill them  50: If there was a time period that you would gladly time travel to to live or visit, what would it be? Can I re-do the noughties ? I fucked that up first time around. Otherwise I’d go a long way forward. 51: If you could take one fictional character into this world to live with you and what not, under the contingency that the movie/book/tv/game universe they came from acts as if they never existed, who would it be and why? Chekov. Obviously. 52: What’s the story behind your tumblr account? I got it to mope, realised spending your life reblogging miserable depression posts is the last way to get better and nothing to be proud of, came back years later for gymnastics, now mostly trash blogging with gymnastics on a side blog. 53: If you were suddenly rendered invisible for the day (your clothing also, you don’t have to be naked… unless you want) what is the most mischievous thing you would do? Kill people who aren’t good for this world. That might go beyond mischievous!

54: If you had one wish to do anything you wanted with humanity, what would it be? Less extremism. On both sides.

55: Athletics or football?

I don’t expect anyone to actually do this and I’m not tagging 55 people but I challenge: @every-thing-burns @agathacrispies @gabbyjuppobsession @courtyard-tapir

[amorremanet]

“what am i writing” meme

Okay, so, @bizeke​ tagged me in a, “what are you writing right now” meme, and I’ve been trying to figure out how I wanted to answer it because, for once in my life, I don’t have a huge pile of WIPs. Like, I’m deliberately trying to rein myself in and refrain from letting the rabid plot-bunnies have their way with my brain to the point that I end up getting nothing done because I get overwhelmed by how many possibilities there are and how many ideas I have.

Let me tell you what: as a Ne-dom (ENTP), this is one of the worst punishments that I could ever imagine and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, like, ever.

But I’m actually trying to stick to it, because it’s in the name of trying to focus on and do right by the project that is my main Thing right now, in basically all areas of life. Unfortunately for my desire for instant gratification, it’s going to be long. I mean, it’s a novel, so that’s part of the deal and one just has to suck it up and live with that, or just never write novels unless you can crank them out at a Stephen King-esque pace. Unfortunately for how much I like the community (and validation!) that comes built in with writing fan-things, it’s also original fic (which is also scary as fuck, but hey).

So, to get this part out of the way first: the “as yet untitled because I suck and titles are hard fml” project is a novel. It’s a superhero story with LGBTQ protags who are also largely neurodivergent, mentally ill, and/or otherwise disabled. The main story concerns a ragtag bunch of misfits — some of them super-powered mutants and some not — who come together in a new team and in just trying to do some good in the world for various reasons (and working together because they all realize that they can’t actually do that much on their own), they stumble into a bigger plot and wind up pitting themselves against a half-shadowy cabal of big deal neo-fascist supervillains (some mutants, and some not, though in their case, the non-mutants are generally treated like pets, rather than people and full team members).

ngl, the three biggest causes for this project were:

1. I needed a new project for my thesis because fuck this shit, I don’t wanna be in grad school anymore, and after having my project jerked around by practically everyone in my department at one point or another, the fanfic thing I settled on wasn’t working and I am really well and truly beyond fucking sick of grad school;

2. I had this one character in particular — the oft-mentioned mutant disaster, Sebastian — who I initially drew up for this game that my Sunday night tabletop group was playing last summer. The idea of there being mutant superheroes was similar, but Double Cross’s system is heavily inspired by the Parasite Eve series of video games, with a little bit from the novel that inspired them (by which I mean that the rule-book is pretty explicit about it; sure, they build on the world in their own ways to give players more options for their characters, and bring in some other influences, but they don’t hide that their primary source of inspiration is Parasite Eve).

Anyway, the Double Cross system relies a lot on character-driven drama and works it into the gameplay (one example is the “Lois” system, where you make up NPCs who help keep your character tethered to their sense of humanity, so they won’t get completely taken over by the shiny super-mitochondria that have gotten inside them and could make them turn into a monster). Additionally, I’ve been playing with my GM, Jake, since we were in high school, and I know that he likes having as much stuff to use against the characters as possible. I also know that it makes games with him more fun because he gets better ideas that way

(which is also why I knew damn well that the short, historical setting horror thing we did in January and February was going to be short, but still gave him a ten-page backstory for my French Jesuit priest that I could’ve backed up with sources for, “yes, this was actually a Thing in early to mid-17th century Paris” or, “yes, this was part of the process of becoming a Jesuit in that time period” had he asked for them)

Which, for Sebastian, meant that I started writing with the intent of it being three things

a brief apology note to Dr. Maeda (a scientist Jake borrowed from Parasite Eve because he’s a really fun character, whom Seb hadn’t really had an altercation with? But with his self-deprecating humor that almost no one else finds funny, Seb had accidentally made Dr. Maeda think that he’d offended him, and he wanted to apologize for that);

one letter to his older brother Max that would’ve been written while Seb was in rehab (which, in an idea that I straight up lifted from Augusten Burroughs’s memoir, Dry, had the prompt, “write to someone close to you and express your feelings about them and your relationship” and it had a lot of instances where Seb quoted something from Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis and somehow, whether fairly on himself or not, connected it to his and Max’s situation, in which he cast himself as a fuck-up on the level of Bosie Douglas. It also had a lot of snarky footnotes);

and one that he would’ve written to Max after the party’s first big adventure together (the major TL;DR point of which was, “ahahahaha, I was trying so hard to get my life together but oh no, shit, I fucked up and everything is terrible, you were right and I was wrong and now I can’t give you all the details of why you were right because the FBI says a lot of it’s classified but you were right and I fucked up and oh my god why” — just… with a lot of tangents and backstory and yet more snarky footnotes)

—but because I’m me, I quickly lost control of that idea.

I figured out the entire timeline of major events (largely but not entirely by hand, and in a few places, there is arguably too much detail, like how I know all of the classes that Seb took in undergrad, where it all fit into his substance abuse history, and exactly how that exacerbated his already Not Good mental health)

I did a lot of writing and a lot more revising and then more writing and then some research — like sketching out a list of TV Tropes that applied to Seb and his backstory, and by, “sketching” I mean that I listed them, and in most cases, I wrote up explanations for why he deserved the tropes or how I was trying to play with them

some of which were fairly brief (e.g., the explanation for his exact brand of being a Stepford Smiler is only 185 words, most of them actually being about how he made it to nearly 30 without having anyone suggest that he might be living with depression)

while others were kinda not (like, the 2,400-word explanation of why he got, “Angst, What Angst?” and “Conditioned to Accept Horror” on his list, which got listed together because they were part of the same larger problem and helped to fuel each other)

I went through multiple versions of all of those letters except the first one (and, in the case of the second, even made the drafts full-on “canon” things in their own right, documenting Seb’s ongoing attempts at paring a draft down enough to share in group therapy, because that was part of the in-universe conceit about why he was writing to Max in the first place)

I added other letters still (like, one to Pete that Seb was writing in rehab, with the in-universe prompt, “list 99 problems that you have that don’t have anything to do with your brother or his wife, because seriously? you’ve been going on about him so much, it’s starting to feel like you’re talking about shit with him in order to get out of talking about anything else in your life”; and one letter to Max that Seb wrote before his first overdose, which would have jossed his, “oh yeah, totally an accident, can I go back to class on Monday please” lie because it was explicitly a suicide note)

—and all up, by the time Jake decided that he was having trouble bringing things together into a larger game after the first adventure, I’d written about one order of words

”Order” here meaning, “a unit of word length measurement equivalent to the length of Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, i.e. 257,045 words”

—which I exceeded somewhat but not by enough to make too big a difference, not least since most of these drafts will not be making an appearance in the novel itself.

So, I was like, “Well, fuck. I did all of that and we’re not even going to keep playing that game? ……Screw this, I didn’t do all that work for fuck-all nothing, I’ve gotta find something else to do with Seb and his story”

This first necessitated going back to the drawing board, scrapping a lot of the stuff that was directly related to Parasite Eve or Double Cross, or finding a new way to reconfigure it so that it wasn’t just me lifting shit from either of them

Because I’m me, that led to more and more ideas coming up, which in turn pretty much guaranteed that…… okay, yes, Sebastian got to be a POV character first, because in all due fairness, he was here first and the story wouldn’t exist without him…… but he’s not quite, “the main character” in the same way that, say, Harry Potter is (nor would he really want to be)

And TL;DR: this whole thing started because I wanted to help my GM make my character suffer, only for him to drop the game, after which I didn’t want all the work I did to go to waste and be totally meaningless, so hey

and 3. ……Well, I mean. I had a lot of ideas that I kept trying to turn into fanficcy things, but at a certain point, I just had to admit that they would have gotten into, “unless you can show why this is a legit interpretation or development for these characters, it’s going to be OOC” territory

and after enough rounds of this, I gave up and went, “Okay, fuck it, FINE. Rather than try to shoehorn any of my pre-extant fictional faves into these ideas that they do not actually fit into, only for the sake of writing them as fic and getting more or less immediate Validation, I’m gonna go write my own story! With mutants! And canon LGBTQ characters! And canon neurodiversity! Because FUCK IT, that’s why!”

I guess that one could say that I finally hit, “fuck it.”

In universe, the mutant thing isn’t being treated as an oppression allegory in its own right (I say, definitely looking pointedly at the X-Men, but not exclusively at them, because in fairness, they are so not the only guilty parties here), and the issue of metahuman licensing isn’t being used as a metaphor for any example of governments illicitly keeping tabs on oppressed or marginalized people.

Like, there are still major flaws in the system and how it’s enacted on people because it’s the U.S. government, but the entire thing is treated more like taking driver’s ed and going to the DMV because the fact of the matter is that we are talking about people who have shit like super-strength, telepathy, and heat vision, and it’s fair for other citizens to want to make sure that they can control their powers, and that they know and agree to abide by certain laws about how they can and can’t use them

(e.g., yes, it is considered rape if you telepathically coerce someone into sex. Exactly what charges you’ll face vary from state to state, but it’s still rape, and unless there are some seriously extenuating circumstances — like, say, if you have two teenage telepathic mutants who didn’t know that they were mutants and thus couldn’t control their powers, so both of them have broken the law here, but unless there was some other kind of force or coercion involved, neither can be held criminally responsible — you will be prosecuted if you get caught.

Whether or not you get caught is another issue entirely, and it’s a huge mess for a lot of reasons, but in theory, this is how the law works.)

The novel I’m working on now is also going to be the first in a series of four or five — give or take “Dunk and Egg”-esque tie-in stories, mostly because I’m still a Ne-dom and, even without all the world-building being set in stone at present, I’m already attached to and intrigued by several characters and parts of my world that aren’t part of the “main” storyline

(which is, itself, already an ensemble cast production, just with focal/POV characters for each installment because otherwise, I would probably pull a GRRM, get overloaded by all of the different POVs and trying to balance them effectively, and then either die or be photographed running around in a giant hamster ball because I’m trying to run away from my problems that I created all by myself)…

…but also partly because it is annoyingly easier to find potential “legit” places to publish shorter works and get yourself “legitimately” established by putting out some of those first.

You lot get three guesses each as to why I find this annoying, the first two don’t count, and if you guess literally anything but some variation on, “But, Kassie! You’re in the exact same TL;DR club as GRRM! One of your more popular TW fics was a 23k vaguely stream of consciousness beast in which you committed the same literary sin that you bag on Marcel Proust about all the time, because almost nothing actually happened”?

……then I probably love you for having such faith in me, but you have way too much faith in me because… yeah, no. That’s pretty much it. The “legitimate” “grown-up” publishing world’s fondness for short stories annoys me entirely because I don’t like being brief, or cutting things out, or so on and so forth.

Shit, I’m having enough trouble in Pages right now today, because I decided that this one beat in one scene of the novel was getting too far into territory that is actually meant for the chapter right after it, so I’m trying to figure out where to cut it, so I can then relocate the dialogue to where it makes more sense. Trying to be succinct…… is not one of my strong suits, period.

To be fair? The novel… well. It wouldn’t be a Thing without my years in fandom and my immersion in fan culture. It just would not be possible without that part of my background.

On one hand, that’s due to how many ideas I wouldn’t have been exposed to without fandom discussing them in the different ways that we have, and how many things I wound up reading or watching because I saw that other people were enjoying them and I wanted to know what was up, and then all the criticism that I saw from fans of said things about issues of how stories and media are shaped by the sociopolitical structures that content creators live with

And on the other hand, it’s because my story is a literary pastiche that is not entirely a deconstruction of the genre, but rather a recombination of different tropes and pieces of the superhero genre, plus pieces from other genres because fuck the idea that genres can or should be strictly delineated and kept separate from each other at all times that’s why, where I acknowledge that there is little room to actually do anything that is “entirely new” — both in the sense that we’re all influenced, both consciously and not, by everything around us, so you can make the far-end argument that nothing is “purely” or “entirely new,” since that would require things to be made in a vacuum, and in the sense that… well. I mean.

Come on, I’m working in an established genre that has had several different voices and perspectives chime into it in various fashions since it first got started with the original Superman comics in 1938 (and even that is arguably not the start, since the origins of the genre go waaaay the fuck back, and almost no one writing about the genre critically likes to let it just be its own thing without bringing up precedents like Gilgamesh, Heracles, and the Scarlet Pimpernel), and even if I weren’t also bringing in things from outside the superhero genre, I would have no significant chance of doing something that hasn’t already been done at some point, by somebody, somewhere.

Moreover, uh. I get why the Ang Lee Hulk isn’t everyone’s taste, I do. It’s not my favorite anything but any means, but I enjoy parts of it. But that being said, there are, in the superhero genre, certain expectations that certain tropes and story or character elements will appear in some fashion, even if they’re being brutally deconstructed, and Ang Lee tried his best to weasel out of a lot of them because he didn’t want his movie to have the, “stigma” of being, “just a superhero movie.”

Which is a shame, because a lot of his ideas about how he wanted to interpret Bruce Banner as a character, interpret the dynamic between Bruce and the Hulk, and so on? Those actually could’ve been really fun…… but he didn’t want to make, “a superhero movie,” so he ignored the value of all the shit that he should’ve been using to actualize these ideas on the screen, and he had to essentially paste that stuff on like, “Fine, here’s your superhero bullshit, you fucking comic book nerds”

Which all sort of adds up to, “I mean, I’m trying to challenge or play with some of these genre staples — and some of the more optional ones, I’m doing away with because they’re common but not necessary and I think they’re not part of the stories I want to tell, or they’re very particular to certain mediums that are not the one I’m working in — but…… fuck, man, it’s still a superhero story. It’s not like you can’t tell superhero-influenced stories without these things, but if you’re telling a flat-out superhero story, then…… yeah, you kinda do need to at least acknowledge them, and if you don’t have some kind of appreciation for the genre, then why the fuck are you working in it”

(And this is a brief aside to point out that Ang Lee isn’t the only content creator who’s been called a genius and has been guilty of going all like, “fuck superhero stories, they’re just pointless stupid trashy kid stuff for babies, lmao” while also being involved in working on one.

The list is probably even longer than I know, but I feel especially obligated to point out that Heath Ledger had nothing but disdain for the entire superhero genre before playing the Joker in TDK, literally only agreed to do that because Christopher Nolan was involved and Batman Begins had been noticeably “higher-quality” by most people’s standards than the Joel Schumacher Batman movies and the then-extant X-Men movies, and really only seemed to have come around about the quality of certain stories that he read as character prep — like The Killing Joke, The Man Who Laughs, and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

—and frankly, he and Nolan both seem(ed) to see those stories [plus a handful of others, in Nolan’s case] as special exceptions were, “not like all the rest of the genre,” rather than seeing them as indications of what the entire genre can be capable of.

Which is not to say that I acknowledge the validity of any other non-Cesar Romero live-action Joker, because unless someone really wows me or they come up with an idea that Mark Hamill could do live-action and managed to talk him into it, that’s probably not going to happen, and both Nicholson and Leto can eat me because they were just awful as the Clown Prince of Crime. Awful in different ways, admittedly, but still. Just. AWFUL. Absolutely abysmal.

It’s also not to say that the superhero genre is entirely awesome, since… lmao, Sturgeon’s Law, people. 90% of everything is probably some kind of bullshit. It can be entertaining bullshit, sure, but it’s probably still some kind of bullshit.

What I am trying to say, though, is that the entire genre is not special for having a lot of bullshit in it, because frankly, EVERY GENRE has mostly a lot of bullshit in it, so holding the superhero genre to some special double standard is ridiculous and elitist, and no, we shouldn’t look at things like Watchmen, A Serious House on Serious Earth, or anything else you might want to put on a, “special exceptions” list as being separate from the genre that spawned them.

They’re superhero stories. Barring some examples like Watchmen that have characters that were new when they first came out, these stories literally have characters like Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman running around, having adventures and fighting bad guys. Being of an allegedly, “higher quality” than any random issue you pick off the rack on Wednesday does not mean that they aren’t superhero stories

—and I realize that most of the people reading this already probably kind of feel the same about the elitist nonsense that goes on regarding pretty much every example of genre fiction, except for like big-budget sci-fi and fantasy that either sticks to very conventional models, and/or is written and/or directed by someone we might call an Auteur™, like Ridley Scott, James Cameron, or Guillermo del Toro, or like GRRM would be called if he made movies

……but this tendency grinds my gears anyway because the fuck what even, people. All of the genre fiction that gets bagged on like this has an established history with enough examples to prove that they are is just as widely varied in content and “quality” as yet another movie about a cis white dude and a cis white lady who want to be together but they can’t because of Reasons Or Something, wow such innovation, very forbidden, etc. etc. obviously NO ONE has EVER told a story like this before in the entire history of human storytelling, ha ha ha, GAG)

But anyway, as I was saying. Pastiche or something.

Still, it’s not a deconstruction properly because as much as I love and am creatively indebted to some of them — with Watchmen on the, “it has problems but I overall love it even if I don’t always agree with what Alan and Dave had to say or how they said it” side, The Dark Knight Returns on the, “Frank Miller can go step on a rusty nail and get tetanus, what a douchebag” side,

Deadpool in general on the, “I mean, I respect that you have a vision of what kind of fourth wall-breaking self-aware hijinks you want to get up to, and I enjoy it sometimes, but on one hand? For all I don’t agree with everything that’s said in Wisecrack’s “Philosophy of Deadpool” video, I do think it’s fair to say that you guys often have a lot in common with hipsters, and that you have the potential to do cool shit like Cervantes did Don Quixote, but that you often don’t go as far as you could with it, which can sometimes be kinda disheartening. More importantly, though, your vision is cool and has a place at the table too, but it’s not MY vision, so you do your thing and I’m gonna do mine and if I ever do get published, I hope I can meet Gail Simone because I would just die” side

and several others falling at various points of somewhere in the middle and shit — uhhh? It’s just??? Like?

I just… don’t… really… want to write a massive deconstruction?

I mean. I enjoy reading some of them (or there are others like TDKReturns, where it’s less that I enjoy them and more that they’re important to the genre’s history but I hate them and the only reason I haven’t literally set fire to my copy of that book is that…… shit, man, that thing was expensive, and if I set it on fire, I’d have to either buy a new one or get a .cbr file for free, which would be illegal and I obviously do not condone it, nope, not at all, nudge wink ssssh)…

and I won’t deny that they’ve influenced how I approach the genre as both a reader and as a creator (I mean, ffs, I have a minor character who was literally inspired by a mix of Rorschach and my desire to petulantly piss off every fucking dudebro fanboy who reads Watchmen and doesn’t get that Rorschach is supposed to be seen as completely reprehensible. Yes, he’s a different kind of reprehensible from Eddie Blake and Adrian Veidt, but all of them are still pretty reprehensible, that’s kind of the fucking point. The only so-called “heroes” in Watchmen who accomplish anything of major historical significance are either completely reprehensible, or they’re Doctor Manhattan and so far removed from their former sense of humanity that they might as well be on a different existential plane entirely)

……but, for all I enjoy deconstructions, I don’t want to write one, personally.

And anyway, the original point to all of this is that my story wouldn’t exist as it does without fandom because, on one hand, I got exposed to pretty much all of this through/because of fandom, or while I was in fandom; and on the other, the way that fandom relies so much on envisioning new possibilities for characters and stories, and combining seemingly disparate elements into new shapes, and mashing up tropes and ideas that don’t seem to go together but finding a way to make it work…… like?

That’s shaped me so much as a writer, even outside of fandom, that I don’t know where to begin finding examples of it in action, because it’s just everywhere in my writing tbh. And I don’t think that it makes anything I’m doing, “new” as such, because I’m probably overly aware of what most of my different influences are and how they’ve influenced me in which ways and so on…… but I don’t need or want to completely reinvent the wheel, I just want to have fun making up my stories and maybe bringing in something that other people enjoy and can read without feeling like their time was wasted, y’know?

…also, I will totally admit to certain fandom mainstay tropes and idioms having different degrees of influence on my story, and to deliberately trying to work in phrases like, “to toe out of one’s shoes” that are almost exclusively found in fanfiction because…… uh, I know where I came from, and while I might have various problems with where I came from on a pretty much constant basis, I still love and respect where I came from, so why not use some of our idioms and popular tropes?

………also? I’m doing it because I want to, that’s why.

Just like how there was no actual NEED, as such, for me to make Yael and Elizabeth a deliberate middle-finger to Marvel and their penchant for baiting Cherik, and then screaming, “OH WAIT NOOOOOPE, NO HOMO, DON’T LET’S BE SILLY, CHILLAX YOU STUPID FANGIRLS!!!!” — like I could’ve had them in the story and the world without doing that…

…but I wanted to do that, so I’m gonna do that, and since I’m not violating any copyright or intellectual property laws because what I’m doing doesn’t rip off anything more than general concepts that Marvel has no exclusive or protected ownership of, and even if it did, what I’m doing would count as a commentary or satire and be protected by the First Amendment and the US Supreme Court, therefore no one can do shit about shit to stop me from having my two badass older lady lesbians who are, in fact, married and are co-headmistresses of their school for the exceptionally gifted. Nah nah nah nah nah nah, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

(……………I am a serious adult writer who takes her writing seriously. …also, I’m sorry, and I’m done now, and thank you for reading if you have, and if you got to this finishing point, please go help yourself to like…… a cookie. Or five. Or idk, any kind of treat you want, I don’t know you and I’m not your boss, so I can’t guess what your idea of a treat is much less tell you what to do. Okay, I’m done now, bye)

ETA: ……oh, and I guess that I tag whoever wants to do this themself, because I just spent a few hours writing it and I don’t wanna look at it anymore, not even to pass the meme on, so…… heeeey, free invite, you can do a meme just because you want to and then blame me

#bizeke #ella tag #memes for ts #mine: writing #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #opinions for ts #i wouldn't say that i'm being exactly critical of marvel or dc or anything that i mention by name in this #but i'm not being NOT-critical either bc i'm talking about how they all influenced my approach to the superhero genre & writing in it #and since i perpetually have some kind of criticism or some kind of problem with pretty much everything……… well. #things that vaguely resemble criticism do kinda tend to come up a bit #……also i yell for a while about the elitist bullshit that most genre fiction is subjected to and how much i hate it #because it's always a good time to hate elitist bullshit

[thegeminisage]

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

oh

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her 

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T

#this was hands down the best part of this game for me so far #like it's all been fantastic but this section hit me the hardest in the feels #personal #loz blogging #botw spoilers #so many big giant spoilers #huge ones!!!!