#fuck i dont even know hwo to talk to new people let alone flirt with them

[dream-launch]

I better get a girlfriend at uni or what's the point

#the fact ive lived this long to be the only person i know personally who hasnt even had their first kiss yet #it's pathetic #because i do try #however i do not knwo how to flirt #fuck i dont even know hwo to talk to new people let alone flirt with them #its the clear mental illness that never got sorted cause my mum refused to let me see a doctor as a kid #cause she was scared id end up as mentally ill as my brother #which dude has an impressive list of issues #except it just means i have a full on breakdown and cant speak irl for a week if i have to make one phonecall #and breakdown crying when i find out somewhere cares at all about me #however i aint going to the doctor nwo abour my mental health consider how often i have to go jsut about my physical health #im at that point tho wher its liek im too old to have literally zero experience in anyone even liking ke #liek i dont think im ugly i think im actually quite pretty #so clearly I'm just that annoying that noone wants to date me #hopefully im irresistible to the English #cause being the only single person in your friend group #literal fucking hell #especially when your friends girlfriend tries to tell you the only reason you are single is cause you dont try hard enough #like dude its actually probably cause i physically cannot have a conversation with someone new without forgetting how to literally speak #so they always think there is something wrong with me #which there may well be but i dont knwo cause the closest i got to a diagnosis was the lady on camhs telling me the reason i couldn't sleep #was anxiety #but then i never went back cause my dad was too bsuy to be able to drive me to appointments #i domt mean to sound attention seeking when i say i genuinely think i am not mentally okay #but i cannot afford a therapist and its only free with the nhs if your suicidal and willing to wait 2 years