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fountainpenguin · 6 years

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What kinds of AU pieces go in the Off the Rails collection?

“Get Flappy Reprise - The Sort-Of Musical” - That ‘fic based off the first draft script of the Musical, where Flappy Bob was actually Imaginary Gary in disguise, and Gary and Betty possibly knew he was an imaginary friend all along and they love and support him. This ‘fic would make mention of all the old songs and their ridiculousness. Also, lots of pixies in birdcages.

The “You Deserve It” Prompt - An AU where BookwormGal’s take on Anti-Cosmo is replaced with mine, and I rewrite the almost-climax scene of Never Had a Friend Like Me appropriately. Basically, Anti-Cosmo grinds the entire “Let’s throw everybody in lava” plan to a halt, much to H.P.’s annoyance, and spontaneously throws a massive party in Amanda’s honor for zodiac-related reasons. The plan is still to kill her, but now she’s a fancy sacrifice. Norm is still going through paperwork with Sanderson and has no idea what’s going on.

The “Only an Idea” / “Learn Your Place” Prompts - Also known as Reedfilter Rules AU. Basically, we’ve got girl pixies this time. In fact, one of them is Rani Reedfilter, the Head Pixie before our H.P. came along, and thus the reason for this AU’s name. Pixie society is very different, being less based on insect biology and probably a bit closer to what the true canon would be. Also, H.P. spent 37 years seducing Rani in order to work his way up to the vice president position because that’s just how he is, and Sanderson gossips with everybody and judges him super hard. Definitely more of a schemer than loyal lieutenant.

So it’s just a different take on the Pixies, really. Possibly worth mentioning that the reason H.P. takes an interest in Sanderson in this AU is that he and Sanderson are both Fairy/Pixie crossbreeds, with Sanderson’s mother being a will o’ the wisp. Sanderson has blue eyes, too. My favorite joke about RR!AU is that H.P. is a massive klutz who trips over half of everything and yet still tries super hard to be cool. And unlike his touch-starved Riddleverse Classic counterpart, Reedfilter Rules!Sanderson is super squeamish about any type of physical affection, and I just think it’s funny.

For now, I’ve tentatively chosen to scrap this version of the “Learn Your Place” Prompt (which covered some of H.P.’s flirting from Rani’s perspective) in favor of making “Learn Your Place” a Cupid and Juandissimo friendship Prompt. So I’m not really sure what my plans are for RR!AU, especially since between the two Pixie AUs I have, I favor the next one more than this one. So I might keep it to myself, or I still might make it its own ‘fic. I’m a weirdo that way.

“The Gyne and the Drone” - An absolutely self-indulgent story based on that moment in Fairy Idol where H.P. is referred to as “Sanderson’s friend.” In this AU (Happy Dip AU to you guys), they’re friends who met in their adulthood, and this ‘fic covers the development of that friendship. Specifically, it covers H.P.’s ascension into Head Pixie-hood and Sanderson’s parallel journey up the social ladder to being his alpha retinue drone. It’s kind of like a slow burn platonic friendship with pheromone benefits, as they awkwardly navigate around each other’s expectations and try to work out the whole preening situation when it’s not something they’ve been doing since Sanderson was a kid this time.

In Reedfilter Rules AU, the Head Pixie isn’t allowed to have a mate, and H.P. was a lowly worker who flirted his way up the social ladder after recognizing how much Rani misses the husband (“match”) she had to let go of following her coronation. But here in “The Gyne and the Drone”, only the Head Pixie is allowed to have children (Don’t worry- we’ve got other Pixie companies to avoid inbreeding). So far this ‘fic consists of H.P. sliding from his bed to the floor and whining to his dad that he doesn’t want kids because he “doesn’t liiiiiiiiike people”, and Sanderson dragging H.P. out to his first rave. I’m pretty sure that first one is just a placeholder. Second one is definitely happening.

Basically, it’s an AU where all the general worldbuilding is the same, except there are several Pixie companies and it’s kind of like one of those fantasy books with the castles and arranged marriages, but more corporate. And instead of Wolbachia there are loose hints of haplodiploidy because I am eusocial insect trash and I don’t even. For once H.P. is telling the truth when he says he’s not a dad and has no sons /shot

Don’t ask me what I do in my spare time because it’s just this.

“Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails” - A silly, stylistically-different multi-chapter story about Foop and Anti-Marigold gathering potion ingredients to turn Foop into a boy after his aging potion accidentally turns him into a girl.

So, it’s an alternate, way more lighthearted explanation on the origin of the “magical to-die-for heart-shaped pendant” we saw in “Blue Angel” than the explanation I went with in Identity Theft. While Identity Theft and “Snips” can’t coexist in the same timeline, neither exactly contradicts Riddleverse Classic canon and in theory you could accept either one as your headcanon’d backstory for the pendant. Even so, I technically consider Identity Theft to be part of the Riddleverse Classic works for purely stylistic reasons.

“Pulling Your Puzzles Apart” - AU where Timmy considers his best friend to be A.J. over Chester, so during Fairy Idol, Norm ends up going to college with A.J. and does not enjoy it at all. The first chapter is done (Mayor’s perspective was surprisingly a lot of fun), and the outline is done with 10 chapters pinned down. Except I still have a few details about the finale to untangle. Hmph.

The title of this piece is from the lyrics of the Coldplay song “The Scientist”, and all the chapters are named after other lyrics in the song.

“King Me” - Riddleverse worldbuilding is exactly the same, but this time Anti-Dusty received his inheritance over Anti-Bryndin. Thus, Anti-Wanda was raised as nobility and heir to the High Countess seat, and Anti-Cosmo was raised in rags on the outskirts of society. Talon still exists and is still raised by both Anti-Cosmo and H.P. (though his biological parents differ from Riddleverse Classic canon). This will probably be a one-shot unless it gets too long and needs to be divided into three. It’s basically a bunch of Anti-Wanda / H.P. friendship as Anti-Wanda works out her feelings on her impending marriage to a man she’s never met. And then… wedding! I also included some pieces from one of the very first Prompts I ever wrote, which had to be scrapped due to conflicting with finalized headcanons. Nice to actually use them in an AU!

Thus far I’ve had to physically restrain Anti-Wanda from sweeping Anti-Cosmo off for immediate kisses, because she would totally do so if I let her and I suspect she’ll get away with it in the end. I only have the Anti-Wanda and H.P. chat done so far, so I’m not sure what the ending is, but I suspect it’s going to dissolve into absolute wedding night fluff. Except for the fact that my document is currently a collection of several directions to take this story, one of which involves broken wings and one of which involves Anti-Cosmo on a farm. So I don’t even know where this is going yet. It could go anywhere. All I know for sure is that it’s told from Anti-Wanda’s point of view and she’s a riot, and Anti-Cosmo becomes High Count in this piece (hence the title).

“Just Ask” - Okay, well, I haven’t really planned anything officially, but I have been entertaining some ideas of an AU one-shot where Gary and Betty both grew up in Dimmsdale independently of one another, and only cross paths at the Learn-A-Torium. It’s their summer job that they each try to juggle with a thousand other life responsibilities (such as Betty’s anxiety issues and Gary’s difficult home life). So it’s a “what could have been” piece about if the Pixies hadn’t invaded their childhoods, and had instead approached them for the first time just before the Musical. Some fun ideas in this one, my personal favorite being Gary’s overprotective biker friends, so it’ll be great if I get around to it.

Dust to Dust and “Antlers for Dummies” are both crossover pieces (with “ChalkZone” and “Milo Murphy’s Law” respectively) and would technically fall in the Off the Rails category too, if I ever do write them. The “First Impressions” Prompt is kinda a crossover too, in that it covers the Creature Convention where Cosmo and Bunsen met according to “Bunsen Is a Beast” canon, and there are other Nick show cameos around too.

Potentially more to come, since I have tons of scrapped FOP stuff and maybe I can recycle some of it. But most of what I write fits within standard Riddleverse canon, so these are the only pieces I know of right now. What sounds interesting to you guys?

#Anti-Wanda / H.P. friendship is basically my favorite. The SASS.#Anon #asks #FAIRIES!#ridwriting #Bat cube and associates #I'm wasp dad trash #Sanderson is neat #The bat with the hat #The best bat queen #Lava lamp dude #Gary and Betty #Bats are my favorite animal but mammal reproduction is boring #Do you see my problem?#Reedfilter Rules #Little Imperfections

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spongebobsins · 6 years

Text

Everything Wrong With Ugh

Just because we’re on a different show despite mean we’re still not having Noddy in to point out of some of the Paleo mistakes. So yeah, enjoy that.

(So nice to have a Non-Bona person helping with SpongeBob, still love him just nice to have a break lol)

1.One hundred million years ago, can’t wait to see this get violated immediately.

2.So how did Patchy even end up here? The ads explained this but not the actual episode.

3. Non-avian dinosaurs living alongside early hum- er, whatever you call the different sapient beings in SpongeBob? I’m still sinning because it perpetuates that trope though.

4.Whatever that theropod is eating Patrick is from the 1920s, honestly. Upright posture, pronation of the hands, missing small claws on the feet, etc.

5. Pirate dude is implying that’s a Brontosaurus… it may have been made valid again, but at the time it was released it wasn’t and just Apatosaurus so sin for being wrong at the time of release.

6.I’m not sure living in the Ice Ages are what we’d call simpler times.

7. Prehistoric club cliché.

8. ‘Pterodactyl’. I haven’t heard that word in ages, and it gives me chills everytime I see it. Unless you’re talking about tiny Pterodactylus or the group of pterosaurs known as Pterodactyloids, ‘Pterodactyl’ was never a thing.

9.That pterosaur costume I’m sure is off, I mean for one the hands look connected the wrong way for sure, and those wings are pointed instead of rounded.

10.”Prehistoric stuff is, what do the kids say, cool” Adult man tries to be hip cliche.

11.‘Ugh.’ Well that’s sure a nice way to sell the episode with such an enthusiastic title.

12.Oh look, another bad pterosaur, this time a Pteranodon. Pointy wings and all that I can notice from this distance, but I’m sure it will be more fugly up close.

13.Wait, what time is this even meant to be? Is 100 MYA just what pirate Tom Kenny is depicting, or is it the episode too?. I guess assuming it’s 100 MYA then uh yeah there shouldn’t be goddamn trilobites.

14. I have the feeling this episode doesn’t understand evolution at all if it’s saying life is beginning now. Unless this is all weirdly figurative for some reason.

15.By the way, they missed the change to do a SpongeGar version of the theme song.

16 Gary is prehistoric so that means he has to be giant and have spikes, typical.

17.If Gary is that huge, we should have seen him in that first shot of the inside of his house.

18.”Wait a minute” Wow, those are 3 random English words for them to just know. It’s funny but still.

19. Oh yay, more clubs, because early whatever the f*ck these people are surely couldn’t have developed a variety of weapons.

20.Oh yeah, prehistoric thingos acting stupid, another cliché.

21. Wait a minute, this sponge, octopus and sea star all have mammalian hair. Weird.

22.”Patar!” Aside from him just yelling his name for no reason, this sin is the random use of “gar” on their names. (At least they were more creative with Squidward)

23.Prehistoric people using smell more often cliché.

24.They greet each other by hurting themselves because…comedy?

25.Where was he keeping that thing of water, and all without spilling any of it too?

26.Prehistoric people discover fire cliché. Except here it implies they haven’t even seen fire, they didn’t even make it. Which means even supposed smart guy Squidward doesn’t notice how freaking hot the fire is and burns himself. I guess this is what happens when you live in the sea.

27.Oh yeah, may as well sin the fire underwater thing because sins. And the raining underwater thing too.

28.SpongGar and Patar are immune to fire for like 30 seconds.

29.Great, Patar’s a cannibal.

30.Overly long gag is SpongeGar staring at the fire.

31.Discount 2001 music.

32.That stick went right through Patrick’s mouth. If this wasn’t animated this would be considered inappropriate for children.

33.What is he even chewing on if the stick is just sticking through him like that?

34.SpongeGar murders Mr. Krabs’s ancestor.

35.Patar sticks his bigger stick into the fire to cook the crab but when he eats it, it’s on the smaller stick.

36.Calling a caveman a troglodyte implies it’s in the genus Pan like the modern chimpanzee, Pan troglodytes. Homo neanderthalensis was so closely related to Homo sapiens that they interbred with our ancestors.

37.I’m not sure a human could survive a block of ice like that.

38.”I call him Cavey” How creative.

39.”Where do you keep getting all this stuff?!” I agree, where does that door over there lead? A time machine?

40.I really doubt every single thing around them is delicious or even edible.

41.Nor can random rocks create popcorn.

42.More Crab murder.

43. They’re full and their bellies are comically big. I have the feeling someone on DeviantArt is probably a fan.

44. Just summon more thunder with your clapping to make more fires instead of fighting. But lol, because they’re prehistoric they have to be idiots.

45.More clubs. Always the damn clubs.

46.Damn, they sure got skinny again real fast

47.Surely the fire would be out by now with the log rolling so many times. Then again this is underwater fire so maybe it’s different because the writers said so.

38.Squag’s house suddenly has a door now.

49. None of them were burnt when the flaming log went over them. Underwater fire is weird.

50.The weather was really sudden and weird back then.

51.Why is he getting mad at them? What did they do?

52.I don’t think you’re going to cook marshmallows over a burnt body.

53.They’re implying cannibalism except not really since SpongeBob and Patrick aren’t octopuses, because early humans were just savages who will eat anything apparently.

54.”Certain events in history are better left untold” So you just wasted 18 minutes of our time, great.

Damn straight I’m removing a sin for When Worlds Colide

54. Bill was doing a fine job as this cavemen until he just straight up became Patrick.

55. Random SB-129 clips are random.

56. Potty did something nice…and then went back to being a jerk for no reason.

57. That Tyrannosaurus, where do I even start? Pronated hands, wrong skull shape, weird bendy feet, way too scaly regardless of whether it was feathered or not, you name it.

(Wish I had a better sin to end but meh)

EPISODE SIN TALLY: 57

SENTENCE: Get Burned

Damn, new sin record. Noddy usually helps us get high tallies, and his were generally better than mine because this episode doesn’t exactly have a lot of plot. It’s not as good as Phineas’s take this concept, but despite how drawn out it is I do enjoy it for what it is.

Thanks again Noddy for the help.

Next time, Old Snails.

#Season 3 Sins #Special Sins #Noddy #SpongeBob #Sins

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