#girlie violated every single human right in the lands between | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jinkieswinkies · 4 years

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Look at me.

I notice. I notice alot of things.

It’s mind bending really. how’d I managed to start paying more attention to...a certain meatsuits. That bubbly girl-annoying. When she’d laugh her brown eyes became crinkled, Or when she’d smiled it was bright. blinding almost. The accent she spoke with made it hard for people to understand so she’d speak with such volume and clearness. she was persistent in the games, making sure that her pitiful squad-mates met the quota to survive. she’s a piece of work, determined to the brim. i don’t like her type, I tried everything to get rid of her when i’m paired with the likes of her. Always on my back about something, Always telling me about my condition. Like I want to live.

Bickering is always how we start. I make it known that I don’t like her. A bright eyed, woman who has a dream to change this unforgiving world.

HA. laughable really. This world ain’t nice and she needs to learn that, AND i’m going to the one to show her.

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I wanted to do my own thing. Have my own rules and listen to no one, But life’s just didn’t want to give me control. Nothing has been in my hand since I joined these damn games. Nobody wants to leave me alone, especially that other robot. Always trying to include me into things, always calling me friend. I LOATHE him.

How does he manage to emulate emotions when he’s never been alive to experience them. he’s never had the firsthand. BUT ME, ME- WHO’S BEEN ALIVE, WHO’S BEEN HUMAN-CAN’T FEEL A GOD.DAMN.THING!

HOW’S HE ABLE TO LAUGH?

HOW’S HE ABLE TO CRY?

HOW’S HE ABLE TO FEEL ANYTHING- HE’S JUST A HUNK OF METAL WITH FAKE EMOTIONS.

I CAN’T FEEL SHIT.

THE PAIN. THAT’S REAL. THAT’S THE ONLY DAMN THING I’LL EVER FEEL!

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I’ve gained some understanding that he’s taken a liking to the idiot who stumbles over his own damn words. It’s clear that the trickster doesn’t like him but that hunk-of-metal tries noneless. If I could I’d take everything from him, teach him the pain of having what he loves the most being ripped away from him. Not everyone is his friend. He needs to know that.

Then, that girlie came. Shot me right in the face, she did. Even managed to send me back into one of those spares. No one has done that to me before. Like father, like daughter. She’s hellbent on killing me and I’m not stopping her. My one salvation, she is.

I’ve managed to spend more attention on these whores than intended. I don’t care for them.

The girlie however, I just love to get under her skin, to remind her who’s above and who’s below. Every. Single. Time.

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Today should’ve been no different. Luck would have it i ended up paired with ms. Andrade herself, as well as that annoying medic. She makes me sick. When I look at her I can’t focus. Of course I knew her background, her parents, what they’ve done-what she’s done. She’s not innocent but she’s not like that nox freak.

‘course someone had to start an argument. Where we land obviously caused an uproar among us. I want bunker. Cramped, dark space equals more kills.

“Bunker. NOW.”

I heard a scoff from that angarson female, “Like I’d ever take orders from the likes of you demonio!”

“Didn’t your parents teach you to respect your elders, little girl?”

“fuck yo-”

She got cut off, but I got pushed aside in the process. We both got pushed aside in fact.

“fi-fyuh, s’cuse me lovebirds, we landin!”

That fucking mongrel disrespected me, violated me. A hushed “fuck you” was heard from my right.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, SKINBAG!” I looked over to Loba, ”Don’t get comfortable, people will talk.”

Laughing, I jumped.

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We didn’t end up landing at bunker, much to my dismay. However, we landed at containment. The hot zone. PERFECT.

I laughed, Elliot? was that his name? It doesn’t matter. I found his pathetic self looting a nearby bin. Found him, got him right in my palm. Literally. He struggled but it’s all in vain anyway. Hearing that familiar crack, feeling his breath just disappear, that beg in his voice, disappearing just like he never existed. It was euphoric.

A low chuckle reverberated in my throat, or where it should’ve been. I looted the pathetic man’s box and moved on.

I turned to look at a roof above me. Eyes meetin Loba’s. Had a scowl on her face, that one. It’s enticing. If I could grin I would.

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It’s was time to move, Rings closing soon and i’m not getting caught. I turn to the other pathetic meatsuits known as my teamates. Useless medic was almost dead, currently healing, and andersayson? well she’s with the medic? She doesn’t need healing from what I can see, okay? skinbags will huddle together like animals for comfort.

This-What? I feel angry? no confused? yes confused. No, I don’t care. I don’t care.

Thought I mention it over the comms. “Rings moving, hurry up.”

“Comin!” The medic’s responded. Good.

“You can wait, demon!” Right, I totally forgot about the other one.

I don’t care anyways.

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They’ve been close, Awfully close. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I don’t.

Ajay’s fidgeting, She’s getting restless. I can tell. She really isn’t innocent. Ha.

“Your’e not as innocent as you make yourself out to be, medic.”

“dis boy, of course i’m not. I’ve got a big sponsor eef ai make it tah top tree.”

I scoff, who cares. Forgot she even had a job outside of the games.

A useless pig questioned, “What do you do anyways, Ajay?

A squeak? A noise? That damned cute little hum she did? Why do that for girlie?

“I work at the frontier corps, I raise money by sponsors for them. It’s something i can do since my parents...you know. Thought you would know since you like to dig through peoples history.”

Indirectly calling her nosy? That’s cold. I don’t wanna listen to them talk anymore. This information has no use for me.

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I hear something drop behind me, spinning around I was met with just the two of them laughing, Loba was tickling ajay. Wish I had eyes so i could roll them. We don’t have time for this-I don’t have time for this. I resumed walking towards the circle. 8 squads left no time for fooling around, I want to be up there. Right where they could all see. I’ll be damned if I die because of them. If those two die, they die. Not my issue.

I do a double take towards them, Loba’s nails are underneath ajays tank top. Presumably scraping her skin lightly.

Move them

MOVE

This is bothering? I’m getting annoyed.

“Hurry up 6 squads left now.” I mumbled. need to remind them i’m not here to play games.

They’ve stopped, smile quickly fading from that damned woman’s face. They’re still close. This isn’t good. I don’t care.

“Right game mode!” Medic was pumping herself up. Useless.

Cute. Shut up. This is so annoying. Bitch is smiling at Ajay. Sickening, Pathetic really.

This is distracting.

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I don’t know why or how, I can’t find myself to focus. All I want to look at is her. I shouldn’t be able to feel, much less what I’m feeling right now. It’s stuffy, It’s prickly. Uncomfortable. IT’S HOT. IT BURNS. It’s that same rage I felt when I-When I realized what I became. What they made me. This is stupid. I don’t care.

The kills I’ve gotten this game no longer feel satisfying. I know the reason to. She’s not paying attention to me. It’s not-That’s not the reason. That stupid medic. This is stupid, she’s stupid. she needs to stay away. Stay away.

Especially girlie, no personal space with that one.

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I punch my wall. We didn’t fucking win and its their fault. If they weren’t so busy smothering each-other. they would’ve fucking known there were teams behind and in front. Can you believe that? fucking sandwiched. We ended up being in third place. Not where I wanted to be. Fucking useless.

The rest of the meatsuits are tense, they’ve got a right to be. Believe me-I notice. Good, I need to be left alone.

“YOU!”

Of course, I can’t have anything.

“WHAT WAS THAT!?!”

Headache, she is. I turn back to whatever-Anything to ignore her.

“AIM TALKIN TO YOU!”

“fuck off.”

ANNOYING

FUCK OFF

FUCK YOU

A hand-A spin snd a little pooch barking at me.

“YAH COULD’VE REVIVED ME BEHIND THE ROCK WHERE YAH TOTEM WAS!”

I don’t wanna respond, I don’t need to.

“ANSWER ME! CUZ OF YAH WE LOST!”

I looked down at her, “WE LOST BECAUSE YOU GUYS DECIDED IT WAS PLAYTIME!”

She had the nerve to try and stand up to me. To get in my personal space, Like i’m some sort of pooch.

“YAH HAD NO INTEREST IN STICKING WIT US! YA WEN OFF ON YUR OWN!”

Someone pushed us away from eachother, I want her dead.

“DON’T YELL AT HER DEMONIO! YOU WERE USELESS!”

“FUCK YOU, YOUR PARENTS WERE USELESS!”

Someones holding me back, I can’t hear anything. Sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong-fucking bitch. That burning sensation, That fury. It was coming back ten fold. All swirled together. The reason was foreign. The feelings however-familiar.

It’s all her fault.

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They left me to my thoughts. promptly telling me to “calm down”. The big jolly one, was the one that managed to restrain me. I don’t need to calm down, damned dog was so nosy, sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, it was strictly between me and ajay. Nobody else. Always crowding around her. It’s disgusting. It’s INFURIATING.

She needs to stay away from her.

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It’s been a few hours since...the incident. Useless at best. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t. I don’t want to be in my room anymore. I need to leave.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Not like I notice how the common rooms get’s silent when I walk in. Not that I care anyways. Should’ve left me alone. I don’t care that their voices become nothing but hushed whispers, and when I sit down on the pale couch...HA some even leave. I don’t care...I...really don’t.

The ones that stayed continued minding their business. Good. SHE was one of them, as well as that motor mouth. Always spouting that death wouldn’t be able to catch up. I have no interest taking a life that cares little for it.

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They’re laughing. Something he said made her cackle. Annoying.

Why isn’t she looking at me?

Does she know i’m even here?

It doesn’t matter anyway. It doesn’t.

An empty cup is sitting abandoned at her side, along with her tools for repairing that little pet of hers. Must be manual maintenance. Why do I even pay attention to this.

He must be rather...close with her. She seems relaxed, more genuine around him. It feels prickly again. I hope that means my programming is nearing it’s end.

The book I didn’t even know I had, is currently being gripped upon.

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I’m not able to focus on reading. All I can think about is how close motor mouth is to her. They must’ve grown up together, must have inside jokes, secrets, contact, memories. They must have them all. The two are just sitting there, talking about nothing and everything.

She doesn’t smile for me.

For him however it’s bright.

I don’t feel like reading anymore.

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Contact is high with these two. Whether it be by leg or arm. They’re touching.

I stay still, with my open book, quietly glancing every so often.

Can he go away?

“Yah got a starin problem now?”

I froze. I was staring?

“Hmmph, no words witcha..”

A nervous laughter from her friend is registered in my hearing.

“H-Hey no need to get rowdy, Chica....”

She stared a bit before she turned away to face mr, death can’t catch me.

Keep your gaze on me.

Why won’t you look at me?

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I had enough of this, feeling this, wanting things, wanting useless things at that. I’m not some attention starved kid, I was the greatest hitman in the outlands-still am. I died and was brought back to life, and now-now I’m acting like I have a right to want things.

Her attention is intoxicating, and right now I want it back, I want him to leave, I want her to acknowledge me, I want...

Nothing. It doesn’t matter. It does.

I don’t like them together. Near or far. Don’t want her alone with him with him. He’ll take her. I don’t care.

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“Chica. are you from st louis?”

I noticed she stared at him like he’d grown a pair of legs.

“What the- no. Yah already know where I’m from, why?”

He leaned in, “Well then, I guess I’ll have to teach you how to arch your back.”

what was that? A corny pick up line? She couldn’t possibly-It was so awful.

She-she laughed, her hand resting on his shoulder. I don’t like this.

I don’t really remember getting up from the couch, or grabbing her either. She’s struggling against me but I lock her in. Her friend just stares at me with knowing eyes, there’s nothing to know.

She’s yelling for me to let go but I’m not going to. I’m taking her back to my room.

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I drop her onto the bed they issued me, locking the automatic doors behind me.

“whadaya want, bag a bones?!” She’s hollering. I need her to lower her volume. I don’t want the other legends hearing.

I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know what I want.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want, And It’s all your fault..”

“wha-”

“Everytime- just everytime you have to be around someone, ‘Specially that little girlie. Always had her hands on you, Always near you. You-You’re fucking intoxicating. I can’t get you out of my head. You’re always there. I can’t focus on anything and all I wanna do is look at you, and I know you like to be around someone that has a pulse, someone that’s alive and that BOTHERS ME!”

She’s in awe, no answer is coming from her.

What did I do? why did I say that?

“Why won’t you look at me like you look at him?”

“because yur an asshole, you push me away when all I do is try to care.”

“I wouldn't have to if you just wouldn't have made me feel like this..”

“I didn’t make you, cha made yourself. Yah just don want ta admit it.”

‘I know..”

It’s quiet. The two of us don’t know what to say. I take a step forward towards her, she shuffles away towards the wall behind the bed. Oh. That doesn’t feel good. I’m already in-front of her, towering over her. She looks so small, but not scared. I don’t know what’s going on, There has to be something wrong with me, I would never act like this. I didn’t even know I was hugging her or even why I did. This was so stupid, It meant nothing but everything at the same time. I felt her hug back.

“Just-I don’t know what’s going on. Look at me the way I look at you.”

“Don push me away.”

She pulls away and looks me at me. “I’m goin to kiss yah, is that fine?”

I hesitated, “uhm no?”

She made a hearty giggle. It was a chaste one, a quick peck on the lips, or what I would have if I wasn't-a robot.

“You did it anyways, what was the point of asking?”

“You didn’t mean that no.”

I can’t look at her, was this embarrassment? I’m not to fond of that one, even when I was alive I wasn’t like...this. shy was not in my dictionary. I was risky, daring even, but never shy. God she makes me the opposite of what I am.

“I-Just because we kissed doesn’t mean I like you!”

“I love you.”

“Yeah...course you do.”

I can’t bring myself to believe it. Not after what I am. Not after what I did in my life. We’re complete opposites, and yet she loves me? I can’t accept this but I want to. I desperately want to.

I shove my face into her shoulder. She’s warm.

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