#give or take a few years. whatever.i dont care

[aropride]

when i was in 7th grade i used to say goodbye to my dad every night instead of goodnight

#suicide tw #text #neg #bc i never was really sure if id make it thru the night #i dont know. i was so fucking young. and that wasnt even when it started #i was in 5th grade. writing in my diary with my bottle2pen pen i used all the time #like. 'ways i could kill myself: hit head on rock. jump off bridge. drink poison' #like i was 10 or 11 i was a fucking kid #and i thought itd get better #i was so sure of it. it'll get better in middle school! itll get better in high school! itll get better once im out of this relationship! #itll get better post covid! itll get better after graduation! itll get better after this summer! itll get better after college! #itll get better in summer! itll get better when i tell my parents! #and its Not Getting Better and i Havent Told My Parents and . i dont know #i feel like my life is falling apart & ill never be able to fix it & im going to feel miserable until i die around the age of 22 #give or take a few years. whatever.i dont care #its like at this point im just gonna fuck up my life beyond repair and then kill myself or whatever #<- who said all that? damn what a fucking emo loser. well im fine guys! for realsies! totally fine!smile #i have therapy tmrw. or well. today. #im not excited. butwahetevr. #dont . worry abt me. ill make it thru. i always do