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banjodanger · 4 years

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The Wolverine(2013)-Afterthoughts.

How do you forget about a movie with a giant samurai robot that doubles as cancer treatment? How is this not considered a highlight of the whole series?

Ok, I’ll be honest with you. That is a pretty ridiculous end for a movie that has spent it’s previous two hours being more or less grounded in reality. Yes, this is a comic book movie, but it’s still one that spends close to a third of its running time on a slow-blossoming romance between two of its main characters. Said slow-blossoming romance also takes place while Wolverine is...well, not Wolverine. Almost all of this movie features Logan without one of his defining powers, going in and out of consciousness and hallucinating his OTHER dead romantic interest. Before the big Silver Samurai fight, all the other battles are Logan against regular humans. Sure, the train fight plays with reality and physics but compared to Wolverine jumping a motorcycle into a helicopter this might as well be based on a true story.

This grounded approach means the movie depends more on the script and story than previous X-Men movies. It leads to what is the most introspective X-Men movie we’ve seen from Fox, and while there’s been absolutely no competition for that title, at least up to this point, it’s still nice to see. Watching this movie makes it plainly obvious why Mangold was brought back for Logan. This movie is about as stunning a reversal from Origins without having Jodorowsky direct. Which would be phenomenal, but this world isn’t beautiful enough to have a ten-hour movie involving Wolverine nude and on various psychedelics screaming at religious iconography.

That would be awesome...

Look, Marvel, hire Jodorowsky to direct something. But hurry up, because dude is pushing ninety. Unless psychedelics are somehow the secret to eternal life, which looking at the guy’s work ethic might be the case.

Moving on...

Let’s all gush about Yukio for a second, because she’s just goddamn great. Yukio steals almost every scene she’s in. Her character is reminiscent of the mentor relationship Logan shared with Kitty Pryde and later Jubilee. It’s the type of relationship the very first X-Men movie tried to set up with Rogue and never bothered to follow through on, to the detriment of both characters (but mostly, almost entirely Rogue). Better still, Yukio is set up as the type of character that actually exists before and after the movie. You could easily write an entire movie about the complex dynamics hinted at between Yukio and Mariko. I can think of no better proof of how good a character she is then that Fox clearly had no idea what to do with her.

I’ve talked about Origins a lot, but I have yet to mention the other movie this follows up. Well, I’m not going to do it by name because, frankly, the hurt is still there. But as far as a sequel to that dumpster fire of toxic masculinity and studio incompetence, plus the choking miasma of however much Aqua Velva Brett Ratner must splash on daily...Forgot where I was going with that.

How much of X3′s budget was spent on cheap cologne? I don’t need an exact number, just a general estimate.

Oh yea, The Wolverine as a follow-up to X3. It’s great. Famke Jannsen’s last turn as Jean Grey is fucking great. It’s shocking what an actor can do when you give them actual lines. She’s there as a figment of Logan’ subconscious guilt and makes more of an impression than she ever did as the Phoenix. Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the screentime was more or less equal.

This movie has a lot going for it. As the first X-Men movie to take place entirely in another country, I was expecting it to step in it culturally. Surprisingly, it doesn’t. They kinda gloss over the war crimes committed by Japan, but at least Wolverine doesn’t get all mopey over a dead nazi in this one. Other than that, this movie is overall pretty respectful. I’m not going to call it entirely accurate, but this is also a movie that hinges on tiny robots destroying how you heal so maybe don’t consult it before a big trip to Japan, but as an action movie it’s fine. No, this movie is two pretty trouble free hours.

*checks runtime* 2:18.

Huh.

Oh, Viper just said being a lesbian makes her a better villain.

...Goddamnit. You guys got so close.

The actual line is “Immune to the poison of Man,” and this is problematic for two reasons, so let’s discuss the more obvious one first. Being something other than white, cis, and straight doesn’t make you evil! This was a gross trope in the eighties, and in 2013 it’s deliberately ignorant. It adds nothing to her or the larger story. Up until this point, she wasn’t the most three-dimensional villain, but that was fine. We didn’t need a detailed backstory, she poisoned people and was against Wolverine. That’s plenty in this movie.

That brings me to the second reason. It’s a cheap way to claim LGBT representation without actually bothering to put in any work. Look, everyone here has watched multiple episodes of Law & Order when they were sick right?

Just, follow me for a second.

There was a character called Serena Sotherlyn, and on her very last episode, as she’s fired, she asks “Is this because I’m a lesbian?” It’s one of her last lines before she leaves the show, and she’s given absolutely no indication before this point in regards to her sexuality. If you look it up, people will point out lines or actions they say are clues to her sexuality but it’s a lot of hindsight. There was never a statement until her very last scene.

Ok, enough talking about Law & Order. Somewhere in there is the point I’m trying to make, and the point is none of this is representation, it’s just lazy pandering. And as far as I can tell, it didn’t pay off for them. I had to watch the movie twice before I even picked up on the line. But it’s like a mislaid tile or a stray hair you missed while shaving; once you see it it’s all you see.

And that’s a shame, because one line shouldn’t detract from a whole movie. I’m not saying it does, but it sticks out so much because of the utter lack of necessity in the line. We don’t gain any insight into the character and the movie doesn’t gain anything from the line. Hell, she’s dead five minutes later, she could be telling us her weekend plans for all it affects the plot. She might as well tell Wolverine she forgot to get pickles from the grocery store, then Yukio breaks her neck as she’s heading to the A&P(still open in 2013), but Yukio would’ve had some super badass line because she’s the best.

Rila Fukushima deserves another shot, Hollywood. Please listen to this amateur tumblr blogger. Maybe you’re lost on your way to some sonic fanfics or something, I don’t know.

Apart from that one line, I don’t have a reason not to recommend this movie. There’s great action, romance, the friends we made along the way. This one deserves to be remembered.

P.S. I’ll discuss that midcredits scene during my premovie thoughts for Days of Future Past. It wasn’t directed by or planned for by Mangold, so I’m going to consider it part of the next one. So there.

Up Next: Time to reset the X-Men, so Fox can make new, even worse mistakes.

#xmen #xmenmovies #x men movies #the wolverine #thewolverine #fox #movie critique #movie review

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scripturient-manipulator · 7 years

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Get To Know The Blogger (it’s a tag game)

Thank you @the-bookdevourer!

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

LAST: Last drink: Root beer, not my favorite brand but still good Last phone call: Talking to one of my closest friends (my ex) because he was freaking out about life being super hard right now Last text message: to my study partner making sure we were studying American Sign Language today before class Last song you listened to: Guns And Ships from Hamilton Last time I cried: Like four days ago getting my wand at Harry Potter World

HAVE YOU EVER: Dated someone twice: Nope! Been cheated on: Nah Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh yes, two someones. One immediately because it was my first kiss and he surprised me, and one weeks later Lost someone special: In the death sense? Yes, all of my grandparents have died and I loved two of them Been depressed: I’ve had depression since puberty started, so absolutely Been drunk and thrown up: Nope and I never plan to

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made a new friend: Yes! Like three! That’s a huge accomplishment for me and it makes me so happy Fallen out of love: Yup, nothing dramatic but yes. Laughed until you cried: No. Laughing is fun but I’m unused to doing it so like my face will get tired from smiling after a little bit Met someone who changed you: Yes, two someones actually, they’re soulmates so you can’t have one powerhouse without the other Found out who your true friends were: Oh yes, it tends to happen. Especially in the college years with high school friends Found out someone was talking about you: Not in a bad way, but yes. It tends to happen when friends are worried about you GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Like six? One I don’t talk to anymore though. Do you have any animals? Ohhh yes, I have my Emotional Support Animal who’s the best kitty ever, three other cats, a turtle, a horsse, and three dogs. I desperately want rats again too and also an axolotl. Do you want to change your name?: Nah, I really like how my first middle and last names all flow into one another, it’s pretty What time did you wake up this morning?: Well I either slept through my alarm or woke up and turned it off, so I woke up at 11:20 when class started at eleven What were you doing last night?: Chilling. It’s been ridiculously busy in the last week, so after a club meeting (I’m vice president of our LGBT+ club on campus) I just hung out in my room and cashed in a freebie homework assignment and watched Netflix and worried about a friend. Name something you cannot wait for: @a-magical-knight and I are moving in together in like eleven months!!! Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup, the president of another club I’m in is named Tom and also my music director in theatre and chorus teacher in high school was named Tommy What’s getting on your nerves right now?: Nothing, because I’m worn out emotionally right now, but the last thing like twenty minutes ago that was getting on my nerves was a friend’s home situation Blood type: No clue. I know my Hogwarts house though! Nickname: Jess, Jessi, Jessi Butterfly, Mom, Sis, Mommy, Miss Jessica, young Jessica, kiddo Relationship status: I’ve been dating @a-magical-knight since May! Zodiac sign: Gemini, and except for the lack of faithfulness I’m a pretty sterotypical one at that Pronouns: she/her but when I’m in my drag persona it’s he/him Favorite TV show: I really love Criminal Minds and also Ancient Aliens College: I went to Dutchess Community College for two years, and now I’m up in SUNY Plattsburgh for a total of two years and then I’m going to grad school next year here as well Hair color: Brown Do you have a crush on someone: My girlfriend, one would hope What do you like about yourself: My altruism and my striving to recover

FIRSTS: First surgery: Never had any, unless you count getting crowns on my teeth because insurance counts that as surgery but I don’t First piercing: My ears, when I was a toddler, and the gun got stuck to my ear First sport you joined: Dance, with the classic trio of tap, jazz, and ballet First vacation: I don’t remember where we were, but I remember I was really little, like three or four, and we were camping but it was pouring rain so we celebrated my birthday with cake in the car instead First pair of sneakers: Probably light up Barbie ones

THOUGHTS ON: Eating: Good in theory, but my eating disorder says fuck that to anything that isn’t absolute junk Drinking: People can drink if they want, I don’t care, I’ll try stuff here and there to know what it tastes like but so far the only thing I like is shots of honey whiskey I’m about to: Finish eating and read the journal article I need to write about Listening to: Right now just my fan is on because it’s eighty-three degrees in fucking September because we’re murdering our planet and also my kitty’s bell and purring Want kids: Yes!! I want to foster and/or adopt kids so badly. Older kids, the ones that aren’t cute anymore so no one wants them, or LGBT+ kids or disabled or neurodiverse kids. I don’t care if the kid is seventeen and never wants anything to do with the system or me once they’ve aged out, for those remaining months they’re gonna be fucking loved and know someone cares about them Get married: It’s not something I’ve always dreamed about or anything but I’d like to have a really fun wedding with the person I adore Career: Ideally a trio of writing, theatre, and being a therapist; my ideal is being a therapist in a shelter for the LGBT+ population and/or working with survivors of modern slavery WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: Eyes Hugs or kisses: Hugs!! Shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter, but short is cute Older or younger: Older, I’m good with people above my age and good with kids under twelve Romantic or spontaneous: Why not spontaneously romantic? Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship, though hook ups do seem fun Troublemaker or hesitant: I was always friends with troublemakers in school, and people who get branded troublemakers often have more fun because to me hesitant means anxious. Which is not what it means for many people, but like @a-magical-knight isn’t getting into trouble but she does do things that look fun that other people might not do so she’s not hesitant. But I wouldn’t want to date someone who was constantly getting into fights.

HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: Does a shot of honey whiskey count? I think it does Lost glasses/contacts: Nope, I don’t wear them Sex on first date: Nope Broken someone’s heart: Oh yeah, gay high school me broke a few boys’ hearts when they couldn’t get with me. Gay college me is still doing it but less so Been arrested: Nah, I’ve always been the alibi in those situations Turned someone down: Yup, in high school mostly but college too Fallen for a friend: Oh sure; I never got the idea of “I’m gonna date/call a complete stranger because they’re hot” which means my three whole relationships were with people I actually knew.

DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: Yes. More so than a couple years ago, and even a few months ago Miracles: Eh, it’s a case by case thing. I’m not Christian and wasn’t brought up in a religious household so that makes me lean towards no. I see chaos as an actual being (Eris, a Greek goddess) and chaos is what miracles are often the result of, and also I’m very cause-and-effect and a social scientist which means looking for physical/mental reasons for things Love at first sight: I’m a gushy sappy romantic so yes. It takes the form of puppy love in the beginning and evolves if you help it Heaven: I don’t even guess at what the afterlife will be, just that there is one, and I’m excited to see what it is Santa Claus: Yes because there’s magic goddamnit and there’s a system of magic and false memory implantation to make it happen without people knowing the truth. I know it’s childish, but I need there to be magic in life

Twenty-five people is a lot so I’m just gonna tag whoever pops into my head. @highfantasyorbust @ekinsellaauthor @prideandpen @thejollywriter @leigh-fae @criticoutofcontext @kclenhartnovels @writingsforwinter @gingerly-writing

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