#gwaine swears and then storms away in anger because he cant believe he hadnt seen how in pain is best friend is

[onceandfuturewarlqck]

something i think about too often is when Merlin in episode one asked Gaius if he were a monster.

another thing i think about too often is how Merlin was never good at healing magic.

so now i present you: Merlin thinking of himself as someone that can only destroy and hurt, and not heal. he knows he uses his magic for a good cause, to protect Arthur, but it is always about hurting people, about killing. whenever he needs his magic for healing, he fails. whoever learns about his magic, dies and gets hurt. freya. will. lancelot. gaius almost died multiple times.

i think that, at the end of the day, a part of Merlin is scared of people knowing he has magic not because of what those people will do to him, but because of what what will happen to those people.

i think that a part of Merlin is scared that he is a monster. Merlin knows magic can be good. he isn't sure if he is good.

#merlin #merlin bbc #merlin character analysis #character analysis #about men and monsters #yall think merlin wonders if the reason he is not good at healing magic but great at killing is that he is not as good as he wishes to be #merlin probably thinks he is cursed to loneliness #he is cursed to only hurt the people he loves so he hides himself #magic reveal where merlin just blurts this out #and he expects people to be horrified and scared of him #but instead everyone is crying #gwen has tears in her eyes #gwaine swears and then storms away in anger because he cant believe he hadnt seen how in pain is best friend is #leon looks concerned and in pain #merlin is confused #arthur just. walks towards him with the blankest expression on his face and merlin thinks its all over #but instead he hugs him #and he apologizes #arthur: im sorry you had to believe this #merlin: yo wtf #they all sit down with merlin and tell him that no #he is not a monster #they all cry #therapy time #merlin what if