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eternal-bangtan · 4 years

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So long story short I was a really big fan of bts for awhile but I got bored of them when boy with luv came out, didn’t listen to it that much but it grew on me. Tonight my mom called me into her room bc bts was on James Corden and it made me realize that idk I’ve kinda felt empty without them. The point of this: I don’t really like one of the members. I don’t wanna say because I know the backlash for this member would be awful. I don’t know what to do bc I always hear Stan one of none. Plz help

holy shit i never thought that i can get an ask like this and i dont even know if im the right person or can explain properly dhdjdjdd but im gonna just say my thoughts ok? maybe they will help u maybe they wont we r all different and need different approaches right

to me personally the idea of ‘stan ot7’ is a whole realization that everything matters and without 7 members/fans/some dumb shit/whatever happened good or bad there wouldnt be bts we know and that member u may not like is also as huge part of this path as other members without this one member at some point there could not be bts at all its a short version of my thoughts

i dont wanna sound too loud or weird rn but every time people say ‘i read the lyrics and that song spoke to me oh it helped oh this song helped me to accept and love myself oh this song made me cry cuz this is the way i felt too this cured my depression this gave me strength etc’ if everything didnt happen the way it did (aka 7 members complicated path a lot of shit but also good things) there wouldnt be these comments from ppl all over the world there wouldnt be songs wouldnt be uh lets call them saved fans cuz as i saw many people discovered them when they felt really bad and their songs and lyrics and messages helped them

so about not liking one member

1 when i first discovered bts and watched my first mv (ok even before that and when i only saw one clip of bts randomly without knowing them) i had a bias already and he made me dig a little deeper and when i decided to have a blog on tumblr at first i was following only blogs about this member and no one else and thought meh i only liked him why should i follow someone else related blogs rn 🤷‍♂️ and i didnt know how the whole kpop wolrd worked at that time lol

2 after some time i got used to them but felt a little strange about couple members i just couldnt get them i was puzzled and careful

3 after some more time i watched a lot of content i read some things and oK i got a whole ass knowledge (idk how many months passed) about every member and i remember having a ‘oh my god i love him so much hes such an amazing human being and makes my heart melt’ thingy with every memberrr at some point but it happened gradually

but in ur case u were a big fan as u say before idk for how long idk how old r u idk what kind of person r u so this may be a little harder

so what do i think about not liking one member

we all r very different and our surroundings r very different and our minds too and our preferences etc etc etc and if u think about it as not a kpop situation it would be normal right dhsjdj but we r here talking about kpop and it has some rules so,,, i will continue i personally tried to get to know those members a little more and better to understand them to know what do they feel and how do they treat others or how others treat these members and what r their roles etc and even if i didnt like some idk lets say ‘habits’ after some time i just accepted these ‘habits’ like a part of their personality u know? but yeah at this point i think of them as a family hdjdjdjd after stuff they have been through and how they all supported each other,,, idk its so precious to me its huge and important maybe im a lil oversensitive or empathic but i get it a little and appreciate that they became the way they r today ( while im writing all of this somehow THE EDINGING OF WE R BULLETPROOF ETERNAL KEEPS PLAYING IN MY HEAD AND IM ALMOST A SOBBING MESS) idk how it works but with bts u r breaking ur own principles and it makes sth inside of u expand and be more open minded and mentally flexible

but yO recently in their interviews they mentioned how hard it is ( i think it was hoseok i even took a screenshot oNE SEC) here it is

cr to op

so as u see its a normal thing and even they got used to each other after some time 🤷‍♂️ (i mean not from the beginning and they needed that t i m e to learn and grow up and accept etc) and ITS REALLY PRECIOUS THAT THEY R AT THIS POINT RN THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH it makes me think a lot about me and my friends and rethink some shit or the way i behave 😔

but wait was ur question ‘how do i accept the fact that everyone says love ot7 and i love ot6’ or ‘how do i love that seventh member’

ok about first question even tho i dont like solos etc even tho im ot7 i can say that people love to generalize anyway or love to attack or make assumptions so if u r not thinking anything bad about that member or not discrediting him and u r really realizing his huge role in their group and u just not a big fan of his ‘personality’ i think its not awful cuz we may not like some certain things in people and it happens esp irl with ppl 🤔 but if u r that type of ot6 like ‘ugh when will ______ quIT I H8TE HIM HES ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS’ its not good cuz well h8ing is the most self destructing thing lol and well wishing that someone should quit is also bad (and im saying this not from fans point of view) and should i even explain why

if its about second question hm u know after the beginning of this path of stanning bts and this fandom i faced many of my inner demons all of a sudden and after realizing whats the reason whats the source of those demons and after some work with them i felt a lot better and freer and relieved,, what if after accepting this seventh member and starting liking him too u will feel better too? what if its about having an inner conflict i really mean it think about ‘what do i not like about him/ why do i not like this or that/ is this that bad/ what if i liked ___ about him even tho i never liked this ever in my life/can i change the way i feel about it/ etc’ maybe u have this question in ur head rn cuz it meant to happen and u meant to work with ur inner state through this ?

i truly believe in few things 1 everything happens for the better (even tho realization can hit after many years) 2 everything happens in the best timing (for this thing! in ur life and u r ready for it) 3 if u dont like something and cant get rid of it just change ur reaction/perseption whatever that word is saying this from my own experience and there r more but dhhdhd

so at first just think about it if u need u can write it down somewhere it will help u to get to know urself better as well

ok maybe its not that deep but for quite some time whenever something bothers me i write it down to the notes starting from what happened what do i feel what exactly made me feel like this and why and what can i do to feel better

fr everyone can think of everything like ‘its not that deep’ but at the end of the day literally everything even little thing can help us with our mental state (after some work ofc) we better not underesetimate this world and things that happen to us 😔😔😔

also i wanna apologize for couple things english is not my first language so i tried my best but ofc there r typos and yes i dont have a habit of using punctuation i hope its not a big problem to u 😔

#SORRY IT TOOK MORE THAN ALMOST 1.5 HOURS IK #ask #id also love to say that its not about me treating such ‘simple’ things in this way #as i said it may be not that deep #but i decided to share my own experience #and it is really deeper even tho we may not think it is #everything that u like that surrounds u the way u think #its part of ur life #and u choose this path in particular #so i personally think #if sth bothers u #even such small things #u should think why #and thats why i wrote that whole write it down ask urself questions thingy #cuz it works like this with everything #it may not be about kpop it may be u about liking some art in particular or some way of behaviour or concepts of living #u know? u should listen to urself always #there r situations when others made us think/feel some type of way about sth and we feel conflicted after feeling it in another way #have u ever felt like this?#the most important thing is to listen to urself and not let others do this for u #yeah its more about how to live a life at this point #not about ‘i dont like one member what do i do’#i hope at least sth here will help u somehow 😔

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stressedoutteenager · 7 years

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A big, happy family

I combined the following prompts:

the ballon squad joking about how yousef always had a crush on sana and elias being like "really?? i thought you just came over to help me with sth not because sana was sick and you casually brought soup and told me to bring it to her but tell her it was from somebody else? (...)

the Balloon Squad's speech at Yousana wedding

sana finds out she's pregnant and has to tell yousef but somehow she tells elias first and he tells the whole squad and then yousef accidentally finds out because they can't keep a secret

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Elias has always been one of the most important people in Sana's life. He has been there for her whenever she needed him, even when she didn't realize that she needed him.

The fact that their ages are not too far apart helps a lot.

Now, that Sana is with Elias' best friend, Elias play an even bigger role in Sana's life. She didn't know that that was even possible.

Not only is Elias hanging out with Sana because she is his sister but also because she is the wife of his best friend. It's great, honestly. Elias loves them both to death and couldn't imagine anyone better for either of them.

As great as it is that Sana's brother is really close to her and her husband, it has its downsides too.

Going through some video files on her laptop Sana finds two of those not-so-great but at the same time really funny and memorable moments.

Clicking on the first video Sana remembers why having Elias be on her and also on her husband's side can be ... let's say interesting. It's mainly that he has a lot of dirt on both of them and can embarrass them any time.

And apparently exposing them at their wedding is the perfect time to do that, according to Elias and his friends.

Sana presses play and remembers her wedding day and that particular speech as if it was just yesterday, as if she is reliving it right now.

When they did not start dancing yet, after the meal, Elias, Mutta, Mikael and Adam stormed onto the stage and each took a microphone. Yousef and Sana were sitting at their table taking a break after the meal.

"Hello, everyone!", Sana and Yousef hear, the background music turned off.

Sana and Yousef look at each other both very confused as to why their friends are standing on the stage. That was not part of their plans for this evening.

"Do you know what they're doing?", Sana asks her husband.

Yousef looks as lost as she does and shakes his head. "No idea. Who knows what they planned?"

"As many of you know: I am the bride's brother and all of us ...", Elias points to his three friends standing next to him, ".. are the groom's best friends."

The wedding guests, who are as confused as the newly-wed couple, start clapping because those four incredibly good-looking guys, are giving a speech for the bride and groom.

"Seeing as we love the bride and the groom more than anyone here probably...", Elias says and looks over the tables with the bride and groom's family. "I'm sorry, but that's how it is.", and turns his gaze to Sana and Yousef, "We thought that we would share some stories about them. We four were the people that witnessed them struggle to admit their feelings for years, after all."

Sana's mouth falls open in shock and with wide eyes she looks at her husband. He looks as surprised and a bit scared as Sana. This is going to be very embarrassing for these two, they know it.

"You know, Yousef was my best friend before he even met my sister. But once he saw her he was gone for her and my dear little sister stole my best friend.", Elias starts the story time in a light tone, obviously joking.

Yousef looks at Sana and they both just roll their eyes at Elias, but can't help but smile.

Adam who is standing on Elias right side pats his shoulder and comments: "Yeah, Elias is still bitter about Yousef spending more time with Sana as the time went by."

"Oh, and he is not jealous at all, if you were wondering.", Mikael adds with a mischievous smile.

Elias narrows his eyes at his friends which makes Sana wonder if they even planned this speech or if they spontaneously decided that this is a good idea.

"I was not and am not jealous! I'm insanely happy for both of them and I think they are perfect for each other and I can't imagine anyone better for either of them.", Elias answers to that with a soft voice.

The whole hall 'aaawww's at the same time and Elias will be greeted with many phone numbers after his speech, for sure. He smiles to himself and continues talking.

"Why would I be jealous when I remember mentioning to Yousef that Sana is home, sick with the flue, and him coming over in half an hour with warm soup to give to her but insisting that I don't tell her that it was from him."

Everyone in the hall starts laughing, so does Sana but this is new information to her. Laughing she looks at Yousef who looks very embarrassed that Elias would tell this story in front of so many people.

"You did that?", Sana asks, not being able to hide her amazement to make fun of him.

Yousef reaches out and takes Sana's hand in his, squeezing it a little and nodding while scrunching his nose. "Yeeeah. Back then we were not even what could be considered friends and I didn't want to freak you out."

"Awww, that's so cute!", Sana gushes but Yousef just shuts his eyes and covers his eyes with his hands. Sana looks at him smilingly and puts her hands over his to drag them away from his face. They smile at each other and direct their attention to the stage again.

"Or the time he ditched us the day before he went on vacation for two months to go and hang out with Sana?", Mutta gives another example.

This one both, Sana and Yousef, remember.

"Or how the lovely groom went to pretty much all of Sana's basketball games, which we all usually did, even when the rest of us couldn't make it.", Mikael says, obviously very happy about Yousef's face growing red and Sana smiling from ear to ear.

"Yousef also came to so many of our family gatherings, which all of the guys..", Elias points to the three other guys on stage, "... were invited to but all but the groom never came because they knew that those gatherings were pretty boring."

Elias looks at the table at which his and Sana's parents are sitting. He grins at them sheepishly: "Sorry, Mom and Dad. But that's how it usually was. Love you!", and averts his eyes again, looking at the bride and groom. "And I'm sure he was there just for me.", Elias says with sarcasm dripping from every single word.

Sana wraps her arms around Yousef's arm and leans over to him. She puts her chin on his shoulder and looks at him lovingly. Yousef looks down at her and also smiles, still a bit embarrassed.

"You've always been this cute! Even before I noticed it", Sana says to him. This lets him forget all about his embarrassment. He would have wished some of those things the boys said would have been told in front of less people but it made Sana smile so how can he complain. "I love you!", Sana whispers right before Elias continues.

"Sis, I see you're having the time of your life there!"

This makes everyone look at Sana who raises her eyebrows at her brother now. She has a feeling that it's her turn to be embarrassed now.

"Let's be honest here, Sana was way more subtle with her crush on our little Yousef.", Mutta says.

Then Adam directs his eyes at Sana. He's the one who Sana banters most with. Even before he opens his mouth Sana knows she'll want to vanish in thin air as soon as the words leave his mouth.

"That's true. But Sana ... you know, you messed up when you were annoyed by us being too loud while you had work to do but as soon as Yousef smiled at you apologetically you melted. After that we bet on who would be the first of us to make you admit your crush."

Sana first narrows her eyes at Adam but then bursts out laughing. So many things make sense now, with this new information.

"I won!", Elias exclaims excitedly, "Just so you know.", that is directed at his sister and best friend.

"Well, that wasn't really fair. You lived with Sana and Yousef was always at your house or with you, even more often than us.", Mikael rolls his eyes.

"Exactly! It wasn't fair!", Mutta calls.

Elias just shrugs, laughing. "Doesn't matter! I won either way. And now my baby sister and my childhood friend are getting married. In all honesty, I couldn't be happier for you two."

"Now we should let all of you dance again. Thank you for listening. We couldn't not tell you all a little bit about the bride and groom from years ago.", Adam concludes and ushers all the boys off the stage, sending a smile towards Sana.

When the video ends Sana smiles to herself. She's home alone, Yousef went out with the guys, and she wanted to have a quiet evening. She remembers her wedding day as if it was just yesterday but it was almost two years ago. That speech Elias, Mutta, Adam and Mikael gave made Sana laugh so hard that she almost cried of laughter. Especially because Yousef's face while the boys listed all those things about him were just priceless.

Sana had a very exhausting day but this video makes her smile and feel a bit more relaxed.

She clicks on the second video that was filmed just a few weeks ago. Mikael had sent it to her as soon as he pulled the file on his own computer.

Before pressing play she remembers that day. She knows exactly that it was a Saturday morning at her house. Yousef had an additional program at work, a dancing project with the kids, but Elias, Mutta, Adam and Mikael were already there. Elias was vlogging for their YouTube channel. Yes, after so many years they kept doing that. It was something that they could live out their creativity with in many different ways.

Sana clicks play.

"Sana! How are you doing?"

"Hey, my favorite ex-Bakkoush!"

"Did you miss us?", is how the boys greet Sana when she opens the door. All of them give her a short hug and directly go to the living room. They feel at home in Sana and Yousef's house and that makes Sana really happy.

While Adam, Mikael and Mutta walk to the living room, Sana pulls her brother with her into the kitchen. All that footage is a bit blurred so when Sana looks really nervous and a bit shocked, Elias puts down the camera on the kitchen table. It faces Sana and Elias so their whole conversation is being filmed.

"Elias, I need your help.", Sana says and wrings her hands together.

Her older brother furrows his eyebrows. Sana seems really worried. "Okay, tell me. What's up? Did something happen with Yousef?"

Sana shakes her head at first but then has to laugh and nods. Technically, yes. But nothing bad like her brother assumed.

"Sis, what is it? You're making me worried."

She takes a deep breath and wonders how to phrase the next sentences. She opens her mouth and closes it again. Twice.

"I need to tell Yousef but I don't know how.", she finally says.

Elias tilts his head and tries to think of what could be hard to tell Yousef. That dude takes everything so easily; it's not hard to tell him anything. Except...

"Do you want a divorce?", he asks with his eyes wide and not believing that that would be a possibility. But what else could Sana have difficulties telling Yousef.

Sana furiously shakes her head. "No, no, no. Not at all. I still love him very much. I just need to tell him that ...", she is so unsure how to say it. Her brother would be the first one to know.

"You want to take a break?", Elias asks because honest to god he can't think of anything else. That his sister seems panicked doesn't help at all.

"Elias, no!", Sana exclaims finally. "I need to tell him I'm pregnant!"

She just blurts it out, hands putting emphasise on pregnant and then instantly shutting up. She is very interested to see Elias' reaction. His eyes widen, his mouth falls open for a second and he just stares at Sana for half a minute. Then, as if someone pushed a button, he jumps up and down and quickly embraces his sister in a big hug.

Loudly, not being to help himself, he exclaims: "I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an unc.."

Sana interrupts him and shushes him. "Elias, ssssh. Don't tell anyone else, yet. I just need your help on how to tell Yousef. I'm so nervous. I know he'll be happy but .."

"Don't worry. Doesn't matter how. He'll be over the moon.", he says calmly to his sister and then once again perks up, "I'm going to be an uncle.", but while he tries to make Sana jump like he does, he slips and crashes into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

That loud sound brings the other three guys also into the kitchen.

"What happened?", Mutta asks.

"I'm going to be an uncle!", Elias exclaims to only then understand what he did.

His eyes widen and he hears Sana gasp. She hits him on the chest: "Elias! Thanks a lot for keeping it to yourself. Really!"

Mutta, Adam and Mikael look between Elias and Sana obviously confused but all of them realize what's going on at the same time and storm towards Sana and crush her in a big group hug. Elias joins them immediately.

Sana wants to be mad that they all know before her husband but she can't. She is too happy. Happy that she's pregnant. Happy that Yousef will become a father because that's something he wanted for so long. Happy that she is going to be a mother. Happy that these guys are happy for her.

"Guys, guys, Yousef doesn't know yet. And you shouldn't either.", Sana faces her brother with a pointed look. He just shrugs and embraces her in a hug once more. He's going to be an uncle.

"We won't tell him. No need to worry.", Mutta assures her.

"He won't know until you tell him", Mikael says.

"Our lips are sealed. We won't tell him."

"Tell who what?", a new voice sounds in the room and all four people turn towards the door.

While Sana and Elias look shocked, Adam casually answers: "Tell you that Sana is pregnant."

As soon as the words are out of his mouth he realizes what he blurted out. Mutta and Elias freeze. Elias looks from his sister to Yousef so fast that he might have gotten a whiplash.

And Sana. She just stares at her husband with wide eyes.

Yousef furrows his eyebrows and looks from Adam to his wife. Is it really possible? Is she really pregnant? Five seconds of suspenseful silence Yousef claps loudly one time and starts smiling broadly.

Mikael was the one who picked up the camera to film Yousef's reaction so the shot that didn't move at all in the last minutes is not static anymore.

"You're really pregnant?", he asks Sana when he stands in front of her.

Sana looks up to him, into his eyes and nods. "I wanted to tell you myself but these people can't keep anything for themselves.", Sana says and glares at the four guys.

Yousef doesn't even care. He wraps his arms around Sana and lifts her and twirls her around. She starts laughing and seeing how happy Yousef looks makes her even happier. He sets her down and kisses her quickly, which he usually doesn't do in front of other people because Sana doesn't like PDA but neither of them care. She is pregnant. And the boys are family. Who cares?

Yousef still has his arms around Sana and looks at her with so much love in his eyes that Sana feels like just melting then and there.

He looks down on Sana's stomach and puts his hands on it, and then looks at his wife again. Excitedly he exclaims: "We're going to be parents!", he looks to his friends around them and once directly into the camera, "I'm going to be a dad!"

"Dude, are you crying?", Adam asks Yousef who obviously has tears in his eyes.

Sana takes his face in her hands and looks at him lovingly. Tears spring in her eyes, as well. She really is going to be a mother. And Elias who sees two of his favorite people on earth tear up, gets a little wet eyed himself. Mutta, who observes all that and is already emotional about becoming an uncle himself, almost cries, as well.

Mikael who holds the camera points it at all the people (almost) crying and then at Adam. Adam looks into the camera with one eyebrow raised but quickly lets the facade fall and smiles so happily that one could think he is going to be a parent.

The video ends and Sana just sits there, on her couch, with the biggest smile. She looks down on her stomach and puts her hands on it. She sighs and leans back. This baby is going to be born into a big, amazing family and Sana couldn't imagine anything else.

"Hey.", Sana hears. She turns around and sees Yousef walking towards her, taking off his jacket. "You're not asleep, yet?"

Sana shakes her head and leans up to kiss him. "No, couldn't sleep so I watched some videos. Told you, you don't need to worry about me."

While Yousef's eyes wander over the laptop screen, Sana remembers their conversation before he left the house a few hours ago. He didn't want to leave her alone at home because she's pregnant but she had reminded him that she's only about three months pregnant and that everything would be fine.

"You love watching me being embarrassed, don't you?", Yousef says with a smile after he realizes what his wife just watched. Sana scoots over and makes room for him on the couch. He sits down and wraps his arms around her, she leans back on his chest.

"Well, it's really funny, honestly.", Sana laughs.

Yousef just smiles at her and kisses her cheek.

"Yeah, I'm really happy that we have those videos to show our children on day."

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a sidenote: I only know Turkish weddings but I know that speeches from friends or family are not too common there but people do that sometimes so I liked this idea a lot

And: I thought about making this a series. Like Sana or Yousef remembering big moments in their relationship that their friends and family were part of. I would love if you told me what you think about it.

#skam #yousana #married yousana #yousef acar #sana bakkoush #elias bakkoush #mutta tatouti #mikael overlie boukhal #adam malik #yousana fic #skam fic

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friedchickenyaaas · 7 years

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People with anxiety really shouldn't join any club as an active member

I'm in charge of an important event for my faculty club. We are currently on a 5 month semester break and I was supposed to submit my paperwork this month bfore the semester started again next month. But I couldn't send the paperwork because of my health issues. I keep it to myself and I told my VP after almost a month abt it (to which I just told her few hours ago) because I'm just too scared of what she's gonna think of me. I'm just horrified that she'll think of me as someone who can't get the job done. So I finally told her and she just said to contact with my project assistant and discuss with him. So I did and I just found out that he quit the club and I can't bring myself to ask him to do anything eventho he can still help me bcs it doesn't matter how close I am with him, I just think it's not right so I just hang up bcs I was abt to break down. I'm not close with any of the seniors from the club bcs I just feel bad all the time and also bcs I found out no one actually wanted me there except for one person and the previous president. The previous president accepted me in without any consultations from other members so I feel really really bad abt that. But that one other person who wanted me there is the only one person that I'm actually close to within the club so I called him and I just started to cry really hard and he laughed saying "Why are you crying it's going to be okay. Look if you want, I can go to the college at the end of the month and settle the paperworks for you bcs I have sth to do over there too". He had seen me at my worst but I know he hated it when I just break down bcs he didn't like all the negativity. I told him i cried bcs I messed up and I'm gonna disappoint everyone. He said that I'm not disappointing anyone and no one is blaming me. And I am just so so glad he picked up the phone but I still can't these restless feelings settled down. Then, I called my project assistant again because I said I would and there was a bit hiccup. He asked why am I crying and if I need help. And I said "I can't bring myself to ask you bcs there's no way you're gonna go to the university bcs that's all I need. For someone to go there in my place". He said "why dont you ask anyone else that is there"(There are short semester right now. I get that there are other club members there that could help me but I can't bring myself to ask them to bcs I just can't. Do you get it? Like I feel really really bad for making others doing my job. Like I'm burdening them with more burden that I've already given to them. So I said that to him. But I can't say what I think and what I'm feeling properly especially when I'm crying. The words just stuck in my throat and I'll start to hyperventilate so I'd rather not say anything. So maybe I didn't say it clearly to him bcs he didn't understand why I won't ask people to help me or maybe he just didn't get it bcs he doesn't have anxiety and he's this amazing dude who has five other clubs and is a president to three of them. I don't really have an ending to this story but do you get it? Or is it just me? I love the club but it's honestly giving me heart attacks every now and then.

#rant #anxietyatitsworst #anxiety #life suck #vent

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #1: “"So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!" - Brian

is it time to die already? a fake tribe was taunted, the tribe is split half US half europe so that is going to be a pain, its 1:40am as i write this and in all honestly i just want to sleep and coast till merge. bet that won't be happening tho RIP me and dig me in a grave huh. Oh and I thought I knew the keaton but I didn't lol. I am MESS

It’s really good to be playing a game again. My goal for now is to try and bond with my tribe and hopefully make alliances to keep me in the game. Right now talking to Dennis. He seems really cool, wouldnt mind working with him.

So just from the start i can already tell these players I'm with are easy going for the most part... I over all really like the tribe and can see a very solid chance that I can work with a lot of them if not all! But for the sake of this confessional having value... I'd also like to add that I'm worried that due to the laid back tribe (atm) that I might have a hard time building the connections to get in an alliance without making it due to the fact making an alliance is a very bad idea early on!

Okay so let's just get some thoughts out of the way My tribe is...interesting. I LOVE BRIAN. Well actually I love his boyfriend but still a great foundation from my side to work with him because I know he is a super sweet guy. Dennis is weird. I want to work with Nicole just because I like to work with womana because it brings me closer to God. Everyone else is irrelevant. Absolem is okay. Nathan is hilarious. He better not flop because I want to be best friends. Annabelle is the love of my life. But we did just play an ORG together that got a little messy...so idk how willing to work with me she is. Jayden said things about sports so there is no chance of us being friends. And...everyone else is irrelevant. Madigan: I stan Matt. He had the best intro out of all of us. He's a nut and I love that. I thought I knew who he was...but it turns out he's a different Keaton...and now I'm confused by the popularity of that name...Anyways, BC be still my fucking heart in an ANGEL and I want to be friends. Marie is a star in my ORG community and I always stan her. So I lowkey love this tribe and I wish i was on it. Overall...I'm ready to get this game going.

Okay so i'm normally super good at Selfie Scavenger Hunts...but this one is tough. There are a lot of hard items on here. And because it's Day 1 I don't know if I can rely on anybody on my tribe to pull their weight...guess we'll find out.

Okay I jumped the gun on Dennis. He's not weird. And he seems like he'll be a good tribe member. Not too interested in working with him, but hopefully we win a bunch and that won't matter.

so the cast is cool so far from what i saw a mix of a few faces i recognize and a few i don't which is cool because i play best when i don't know anyone i think so we'll see how this goes hopefully we win immunity and there's nothing to worry about!!

Okay so I really might have judged my tribe too soon. Charlie is a drunken riot. And Maynor seems really chill too. We have a good group. Now let's just hope we're good in challenges.

First impressions: jayden: bad music taste but likes tea kind of hard to talk to but i will get the best of him annabelle: league player?? we stan!! nathan: played once before him dont remember if we were allied but um likes drag race wooh ignored me to go watch it https://66.media.tumblr.com/0640fc1858852ee803cc45252f782259/tumblr_pk6xsgLbtq1szcwcho1_1280.png cole: said "omg ur the cole from skype love ur lipsyncs" they said yes. turns out thats not them. why lie??? nick: seems fun idk

I think my tribe is very cute ! I can already see that a couple of them are big suck ups but I hope I can use that to my advantage. I low key want to go to tribal council but I think the safest thing to do is try our best as a tribe for this first challenge and not seem weak! So I will try my best

So yay Selfie Scavenger Hunt. My favorite... I should be fine if I play a solid social game and dont score too low (right?) Also me and Nick same tribe we runnin this shit.

I like my tribe so far it's the most active tribe I have had by far. The challenge is pretty good though and I hope we can win it and be safe.

So day 1. This is... ahh... I'm so nervous for this game! I have been looking so forward to playing this, but I just feel like it's going to be a rocky upward battle to make it deep... I'm trying to relate and talk to these people, and I feel like I can maybe do it with some of them... but I also know I'm like "WIGGG" and "TEAAA" and "SHJDGJHDGJ" all the time, and I just don't know if this is the tribe to act like that around... I also don't really have anyone to fully confide and trust in. I do have people like Marie on the other tribe, but I just... ahh....

Ladies and gents, I want you to know that I refuse to go home pre-merge, and I will fight tooth and nail to make it to merge and then day 39... even if it requires me to grow up and act like a real human... I will do my best... I don't wanna let y'all down, but I also don't wanna let myself down.

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So like after my antics last night, I feel like I am in a good shape. My intro amused many on my tribe which is good, and they all like me, which is EXTRA good! I feel like im on the cusp of something atm, but i am still wary of course. BC and James are my faves atm, with Marie and keaton also. But Marie, Keaton and john aren't really giving me anything but i am still gonna try. Im here to F****** win (or at least make jury but we shall see about that LOL)

this tribe in a nutshell me: "alright guys! super excited to play some Survivor with you all!! woohoooooo lets do this yeah!!!!!!" BC: "yeah!! I also like to do the surviving!!!" matt: "yeah LMAO" keaton: "..." marie: "..." john: "...okay but have you considered: Skyrim"

idk what's up with this tribe. am I setting my expectations too high? did I do something to piss everyone off?? I just want to play survivor but no one seems to want to engage with me.

BC's the only reason I'm sane atm. he's a sweetheart, we've had a few fun chats already and he seems like good company. we've gotten on the same page and realized that we're probably the two chattiest players on the tribe and should stick together. Matt isn't awful. he's funny, and I can just meme at him most of the time and he seems fine with that. wish I could get a little more out of him though. I'll give Marie a pass because she's been legit busy and hasn't had much of a chance to respond to stuff. from what little I've heard from her she seems nice. apparently she's new to discord survivor just like me, so I might be a little biased in wanting her around. I wanted Keaton to be great - he's a Kirby, I'm a Kirby, so we already had something working for us. but he's not giving me anything to work with. I'll bring something up to talk about and he'll shut it down almost immediately, in a way that makes me worried I'm getting on his nerves or something. idk, maybe our personalities just clash? but atm with Keaton my mood is zzzzzz and then there's John. I get the impression that John just doesn't give a shit. he spent all of the first night playing skyrim and ignoring me, and he hasn't said much of anything to me today. his intro and his rant show that he knows how survivor works, so why isn't he putting any effort into talking? idgi. :/

soooooo yeah that's this tribe. BC and I have teamed up, we've talked about roping in Matt as a third sometime soon. I wanna give Marie a chance as well, even talking to her tonight she's not that bad. but I'd probably be fine with voting out Keaton whenever, and I want John to go asap.

I was called Keaton from Facebook and mistaken for Maria on my tribe. This game is going great for me so far.

So far making bonds with Brian, Charlie, Dennis, and Sharky (Matt). I genuinely like them. No game talk just yet. But i wouldnt mind alligning with them. Havent talk to Nicole yet. So i need to start. Hopefully we are good and win this first immunity.

Okay top of Day 2. We're plunking away at this challenge. It's weird because since we all have our own lists we aren't talking very much... Charlie, Nicole, and Maynor are still yet to upload anything so I hope they get it together soon.

I feel like my tribe is being lazy rn like I did three tasks and I gave up because i only saw one other person doing shit! and they can GOOO if they are going to be like that! OVER IT

no one pm's me first and when i pm them i have to keep the conversation going and it stops after like 5/10 minutes so um thats fun. really hoping we win immunities until a swap or sth. or maybe we intentionally matsing and then i just get rid of all the ppl who GHOST me. the only person who had a real conversation with me today was jayden and even that was super short and ended with him leaving me on read so um.. i guess im just super popular obviously. reading this back its gonna look so cringe NNN but this is how i FEEL

Ok so another update! So today I approached Bryce who seems like a amazing guy and I asked if we could work together and he said yes! So I hope this is a relationship that can last

I still feel kinda... like an outsider looking in. It's only day 2, but I just feel like I have so much I need to change about my social game already. I'm normally a crackhead when talking to people and can find those one or two people to be crackheads with, but I think I literally have to go through a complete change in order to succeed. I need to be more ... adult? If that makes sense...

So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy! I need to just be cool and casual and normal and not be the uber obsessive Ariana stan I normally am or... "wig" this... I know I touched on this in my first confessional, but it's even more true now... I'm finding talking to some of these people a lot more challenging because I have to kinda flick on the normie switch.

Ahhh... this is going to be one hell of a ride…

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Ooo girl. Do I have tea for you? LMFAO. I would make a video, but I have a lot to talk about, so you'll have to read for now.

where to even start? like LOL I guess I'll start with... this tribe fucking sucks. Literally can't stand it. And b4 someone says... "ew bboy it's b/c you don't have anybody you know huh??? you relying on meta!!!" no it's not because of that. well, sort of...

i play these games to meet new people so being on a tribe of new people doesn't phase me too much. it's that i don't like it when the tribe is inactive. like half of the people don't talk to me so it's kinda hard to do a cast analysis but I'll do one then get to the tea.

keaton: nothing really to say about him cuz I don't know him. I literally messaged him and it was SOOOOO hard to hold a conversation with him. then, I confused him with marie cuz he was kinda forgettable. thank you, next john: girl bye. idk if there's something wrong, but like john literally does not message me. and like i'm fine it's ok whatever, like i'm fine i'm fine I'll be fine, but still girl... seriously??? I would say "hey john! how are you doing?" and he'd be like "good." HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THAT? LAGHALHG marie: I actually like her a lot. we get along prob cuz we're both similar - she's quirky, I'm quirky. quite the combo. we don't have any set alliance or anything, but I definitely don't want her to leave before dem inactives -.- matt: I like him... enough. he's cool and we chatted for a bit yesterday and the first day. there really isn't anything else to say but he's kinda fun??? i guess idk laghlahg but yeah there's that james: i'm prob the closest to him on the tribe. we just vibe so well together and I really do like him a lot. he's funny and chill and he was the one who initiated the alliance, to which I was like "yess girl add me in!!!" idk what else to say, because although matt/james have been more active, I jjust haven't had many convos with them individually yknow

but the little alliance we have going on is cute. <3 the name = Transcontinental Trio. It prob won't last (just being honest) but if it can get me past these few couple of rounds before the swap, I'll take it. my goal right now is to win these next few challenges and hope we don't have to go to tribal before the swap. if we do, I'd rather see john leave before keaton, because I think there's a relationship to work with keaton whereas I don't see one with john unfortunately

the tea that I have to spill is really just bitching about my tribemates I mean come the FUCK on y'all!!! wtf is the point of joining an ORG and then not talking to anybody. like does that make any fucking sense??? literally like... nnnn what is the matter with you? John infuriates me b/c like bitch if you don't have time sweetie, stick to playing Skyrim or w/e the fuck you play. my mood was when he sent us a pic of something happening in the game (idk what it was it looked dumb af) and literally NO ONE replying. like yes stick to his boring ASS!!

on top of all of that, no one (excluding my alliance) talks about anything of substance. like sure it's only been 3 days but y'all can at least find SOMETHING to talk about. i'm just so goddamn frustrated

that's it. I'm tired of bitching. i'll confessional again after results. hopefully we win or imma have to pop a bitch.

Okay we're closing in on the challenge deadline! I've gotten a ton of points. Dennis/Brian/Maynor all also posted a bunch so I'm hoping this is enough to keep us safe. Idk what Nicole is doing? But she better post something. ANYTHING really.

Where is Nicole? Like...girl, are you good? Wtf

omg so. based on nathans and nick's talking in the tribe chat they seem to know each other/mutual ppl. i will break their bond and make sure they want to work with me instead of each other. even if nathan hates pm'ing me and nick was fine to talk for a bit yesterday but today seems to hate me!

The scores are locked in. Hopefully we had enough points to keep us safe but Nicole didnt turn anything in. Hopefully nothing too bad happened. But i think if we do lose, maybe Nicole being first boot isnt too bad. Hopefully everyone thinks the same.

Okay so we demolished. Lucky for Nicole because she didn't contribute at all. And she didn't tell us she was abstaining. I'm sorry...you didn't have time to take a selfie with your cat? Bye.

MY MIND IS SO BIG AT 1:20AM. Right ok so to catch the confs up, James BC and myself have made an alliance called the transcontinental trio (An iconic name ik) so like im really happy that exists. THEN we somehow win immunity, even though Marie and John both had single digit scores LOL. like wow didn't know we could do that. then anna announces the idol system, and i fully expect too like not get far so i do it anyway. 4 mins later and i HAVE A FUCKING IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE BITCH WTF. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK ITS UNREAL. I have been playing orgs for 1 1/2 years now and like I have never been able to find one! and now i do???? Jesus Christ maybe this IS my Game!

not to overreact but i want my entire tribe to go home. i had to PLUCK egg shells out of my VERY CURLY hair like i was some monkey picking ticks. i took an egg, a poor chicken would be, and used it not for nutrition. but for "fun". and its all for NOTHING. but thats ok. everyone keeps saying bc i carried i should be safe and like yes. but the REAL reason i should be safe is that its like im the only person on this tribe who wants to socialize at all!! also this idol system is so fun love choose ur own adventure type stuff. sad how i flopped first try tho.. but in 24 hours catch me with the idol! or catch me as first boot. someone just catch me im falling FAST.

This immunity is great because it gives me time to build better friendships without pressure of a vote. Charlie seems to like me, he wants to share idol guesses which is cool with me. That probably also means he'll tell me if he gets an idol which is powerful info to know. Also I won some cookies on my search. I hope they're oreos. But I'm curious as to what they'll be good for.

So....Charlie found the idol...and he told me. So guess I'm working with Charlie now. Because I want to keep tabs on this idol.

https://imgur.com/ZrG7wNV clearly doesnt realize ive never met a girl i didnt want to ally.

So we lost the challenge! Are we surprised? NOOOO AHHAHA! *sighs* anyways I think i have the numbers to get anabelle out, sorry not sorry

First tribal then Walrus is a bitch. I hate this game

i want to vote jayden out but annabelle and cole did worse in the comp so it might be hard so awk.. like nick wants annabelle out and he told cole that so its kind of over for her huh this is so sad i refuse to be on a tribe full of MEN

So far so good I really hope we can continue this momentum and I hope I can last 6 more days until the 20th of January and then I get to be two ages in one org which I have never done yet.

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BC has brought me and Matt into an alliance (Transcontinental Trio!). BC is like the obvious alpha on the tribe and I’m kinda fine with that? At least I hope BC looks like a bigger threat than me, I don’t want that label lol. Matt is super charismatic, we’re finally talking regularly/about the game. He’s probably the scariest person on the tribe just because he’s so damn likable.

Keaton’s opened up a little. We bonded over thinking that we were the only ones hearing nothing from John lmao. Our first vote will probably wind up being Marie or John. I don’t want to push buttons too early, but if I get a chance at a clean shot at John I’m taking it.

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So we lost the challenge which is terrible but I got the legacy advantage which is great! I’m worried ppl r voting me but that’s could be just my paranoia so ima stick to my plan of waiting for a name to be said

We won immunity and it feels great. Hopefully we could just go on an immunity run and stay safe till swap happens. I need to start making my talks with people go to game talk but maybe not as fast skmce we are safe.

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edit: I really need to start watching the movies. Choose your own adventure like Idol systems always require background knowledge.

We won the first challenge and I'm so happy because I could've been voted out if we lost! This is my first Tumblr org so I'm completely lost and I accidentally told Matt that I knew Bryce from the other tribe so yay... that put a target on my back I think so hopefully we just keep on winning!

I don't have too much to update on, but I'm so glad that we aren't going to tribal because highkey I'd be in so much trouble... I've been in an emotional rut so the communication has been rough.. but we won so I have time to enjoy my tribemates in some conversations and make them love me…

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Cole like what are you doing bro. Also I assume Keaton and Dennis are running shit on the other tribes.

Wow so I gotta say I am seriously impressed by this cast. I don't really know anyone and there are only 2 other people from EM... is this for real lol?? Seriously though I'm so happy to finally be playing an org with so many new people!!

Ok so first impressions of my tribe. I've already embarrassed myself by sending drunk videos to every single member of my tribe bar Nicole who wasn't online at the time.

Dennis- Easily my fav so far. I feel like we click so well and I've already talked to him way more than anyone else. Really hope I can go far with him.

Brian- Ok so I've seen this guy around on facebook and he seems funny and really nice! Our convos have been fun so hopefully we can develop a good relationship from here!

Maynor- He likes Charlie the unicorn. Therefore I like him.

Sharky- Haven't talked to him so much yet, but he seems cool and I know he was an early boot in KC.

Nicole- Haven't talked to her yet at all.

Ok so my tribe mates are KILLING this challenge! It's been difficult for me to take part cos of being up in London, but I need to add more stuff to the list lol. Otherwise we could lose, and I'll probably get blamed... eeeek.

WE WON!!! I can't believe it!! I'm so FUCKING HAPPY right now. One of our tribe mates abstained and we still won by over 200 points.. crazy shit

https://youtu.be/_LqWkiWMQw8

so we are about to go to tribal in about an hour and I think we have a plan sorted, I know nathan is saying my name and I will get votes BUT what the plan is that myself,bryce and annabelle vote jayden, jayden votes nathan and the other two will prob vote myself so we will get a 3-2-1 and jayden will go! lets hope

ok so i was out all day. and barely on. but i tried forcing jayden out bc he ignores me and i hate him. but NO. cole is cracked and when itell him to talk to nathan to secure his vote. he instead wants to vote him, then leads to jayden telling nathan that cole wants him out. so now he has no shot. bye bye cole this is sad but u so overplayed NNN glad queen annabelle is safe tho!

Cole is voted out 5-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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