#he'd probably admit that he didn’t really worry about the outcome of him telling the town the truth bc he already felt like an outcast | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gallavictorious · 3 years

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I really wish they could have acknowledged that Ian messed up in signing the lease against Mickey's wishes. That bedroom scene would have meant so much more if Ian had apologized for making Mickey move there before he was ready to. I don't doubt that at least a part of Mickey's unhappiness was because he just wasn't ready to completely change his life like that. He wasn't emotionally ready to deal with feeling like a misfit and that contributed to his humiliation and discomfort. Maybe if he'd had time to process and come to terms with living there, if he had actually been part of the decision, he would have had an easier time accepting things that were unfamiliar and he wouldn't have had to take out his anger on things like patio furniture and the moon. All those things felt more frustrating than they perhaps would have otherwise because he didn't choose them. If Ian had just apologized or acknowledged that mistake in any way I would have felt much better about the episode. In the end, it's not like they even compromised on anything except that Mickey gets to pee in the pool 🙄 How is that supposed to help things, exactly?

Hiya nonnie! As mentioned before I have a lot of complex emotions about how the whole West Side story played out in this latest episode, but I'm moving towards an interpretation of events that makes sense and is emotionally satisfying to me. This is going to be a little half-baked and tentative and I might change my mind later on, but this is where I am right now:

See, I agree that the end result of this felt a bit... meh, on first watch. Mickey is clearly miserable at that place and the only reason he's there at all is because Ian didn't really give him much of a choice. Agreeing to stay somewhere you hate just to make your partner happy is not... optimal, if there are other options available, and I just don't love that the outcome was that okay, fine, he'll suck it up and have a go at it even though he really doesn't want to. But having watched it again, and gone on a long forrest walk with some friends to clear my head, and having though about it some more, I don't think that's what we're actually getting: I don't think this is Mickey still having all of his reservations intact but going with it anyway just because he loves Ian; I think this is Mickey having some of those reservations removed, and thus feeling actually okay with giving it a proper shot.

Like this: I believe that Mickey is quite genuinely is uninterested by what the West Side has to offer. It isn't just fear of change or fear of not fitting in that makes moving there objectionable to him, I think that he generally doesn't see the appeal of that lifestyle at all. Still, Mickey is pretty adaptable and did like the heated pool and what matters most to him is being together with Ian, so had all of his objections been related to practical concerns I think he would have... squared up and gone with it. Maybe grumbling a bit at first and still not loving it, but you know. Making do and being okay.

But I don't think that's the whole of it. Before the episode aired, I rashly speculated about Mickey worrying that Ian doesn't think him good enough (rather than Mickey himself worrying about not being good enough; I maintain that Mickey is pretty comfortable with who he is) and he's resisting moving to the West Side partly because he knows he won't fit in and worries that Ian will truly realize that Mickey can't never really be part of whatever picture-perfect dream of the middleclass Ian's got going. When I first watched the episode I, somewhat unhappily, thought that this theory had been shot down: “there's too much pressure,” Mickey tells us, and, “it makes me uncomfortable”. It initially seemed to me that the show was pushing a narrative of Mickey being concerned about a general societal pressure to conform with West Side expectations and him being unhappy with his own inability to do so. If that had been the case, him eventually agreeing to stay at the condo would be... unfortunate, to say the very least. But it would also be strange as fuck because why would Mickey do that – he did go along with it at first (and I have a bunch of thoughts on his uncharacteristic resignation there, but that's another meta), but now he's fed up and taking a stance so why would he suddenly change his tune after Ian's actually given him a way out? He wouldn't – not unless something had changed for him.

And it has, because Mickey isn't talking about pressure in general, is he; he is talking about (perceived) pressure from Ian. He thinks Ian wants him to change and that is making him very unhappy with the whole situation because Mickey doesn't want to change, not in that way, and the idea that his husband doesn't think him good enough as he is pretty damned hurtful (which compounds and amplifies his other and practical issues with their new home). What happens in this conversation – what changes – is that Ian finally gets this and deliberatedly moves to correct the misunderstanding. Because it is a misunderstanding: Mickey's happiness – Mickey – is far more important to Ian than nice condos and growing tomatoes, and Ian didn't sign the lease just because he's prepared to do anything to attain this lifestyle and doesn't give a shit about Mickey's opinions; he did it because he truly thought it would be good for both of them. (He was still wrong to do it and there's no getting around that, but while good intentions doesn't make it okay, I think we also need to acknowledge that his intentions were good.) Realizing that he miscalculated, he backs down, and in doing so he lets Mickey know where Ian's true priorities lie: with Mickey and with their marriage. Then he goes on to assure Mickey that even if they do stay on the West Side, he doesn't expect Mickey to change (except for not doing blatantly idiotic things like stealing from people at the apartment complex, and you know, that's reasonable) and, as noted in this post, makes a point of calling Mickey a barbarian in a way that makes it very clear that to Ian this is a feature and not a bug.

In the end, Mickey agrees to stay on the West Side, and on the surface that might seem like nothing has changed, nothing is better, Mickey has resigned himself to a life he absolutely doesn't want – but as argued above, I don't think that's true. Mickey might still not love it there but his biggest concern about moving there is no longer a factor, and thus he feels comfortable making a choice that confirms that Ian and their marriage is his top priority too – more important than him getting to be king of the South Side. This time, Mickey gets to be part of the decision (and I absolutely agree with you that this is key to making him feel okay with the move) and he chooses to give this a shot, and sure, that's probably more because he wants to make Ian happy than because he's starting to see the true appeal of the West Side, but it is a choice freely made and not one I think he feels badly about.

With all this in mind, I don't think Ian not voicing an actual apology is a problem. To me, the most important thing is that the narrative acknowledges this and that unfortunate situation was remedied and that Ian himself realizes that he made a mistake – and I think he absolutely did that. The way he acts in the beginning of the episode suggests to me that he is aware of Mickey being unhappy, and trying to make things better (by highlighting what's good about the apartment and telling Mickey that he's happy that they're there: ie that he's happy Mickey went with it). After Mickey blows up at the pool, Ian seeks him out and very pointedly does not give him shit about chucking chairs but try to have an actual conversation instead, and in the end – when he realizes what the issue is – he relents.

Perhaps it would have been nice to have Ian acknowledge that he screwed up, the way Mickey does when telling Ian that he “shouldn't have asked him to stay” in 10x03, but I think it's quite in character for Ian not to do that; he doesn't like to admit to being wrong, and he does take steps to undo the harm he's done. These two very rarely use words to say sorry to each other anyway – that only happens once in season 5 and once in season 7 – and this is an aspect of their relationship that I actually really enjoy! I cannot begin to tell you how much I love the way they reconcile on the couch in HoS: that just works for me on every level. So, as long as we don't get Mickey agreeing to something that makes him miserable, I don't have an issue with Ian not verbally saying sorry or admitting he screwed up. Actions always mattered more than words to Mickey anyway, so I doubt he's having a problem with it either.

In conclusion: I absolutely get where you're coming from, nonnie, because I felt similar dissatisfaction right after watching the episode. (Not about the lack of apology, because, yeah, they don't do that, but with the resolution to the whole thing.) Now, though, I'm actually quite happy with it; while I personally am still not in love with them moving to the West Side, it makes sense to me this way, and it's in character and the resolution emotionally satisfying. You might not agree with any of this, of course, but this is where I am now. Thank you so much for the ask, which afforded me an opportunity to work through my own tangled emotions on this matter. <3

#shameless spoilers #11x11 #gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #meta #my stuff

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