#hes a complete failure in a game about making bonds and i just think thats neat

[ryutarotakedown]

Haori for the ask!

[ask game link] MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL MY GIRL THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME ABOUT HER!!!!!!!!

How I feel about this character: um. see above. she is my favorite dgs girl ever and i love her so much and she deserves the entire world and also to rest once in a while. she is incredibly brave to the point of recklessness and she is incredibly responsible to the point of self loathing and she feels emotions so much all the time and i think she might actually be the least deliberately-repressed character in dgs which doesn’t say that much but still! every day i think about her in awe

— seriously, sixteen years old and you’ve helped make an entirely new poison and diagnosed its symptoms on sight and acted accordingly and also went into a beach hut to yell at a confirmed murderer. didn’t even do it because she hated her, did it because she wanted her goddamn poison back. who is doing it like haori murasame

All the people I ship romantically with this character: susato!!!!! and gina but i haven’t thought about ginahao as much as i should tbh. i think haori would take a shine to her immediately but actually fall for her the moment she sees gina scream at someone for susato’s or haori’s sake

My non-romantic OTP for this character: all? of them? yuujin and wilson are both super fascinating dynamics to explore with haori! but the one that actually takes up my entire frontal cortex is her and jezaille.

— they are both women in the same field but jezaille is lauded because she’s british whereas haori surely is not — i mean, that’s not actually said in canon but auchi disparagingly refers to her as a “tomboy” and susato mentions how incredible it is that she has a job in an all male university, i refuse to believe she didn’t have a fucking Time of it. and that in itself inspires jealousy, right, and then haori finds out she killed her mentor and she still has to work with her for Months??? i’d go insane! it’s a miracle haori didn’t actually murder her! like. here is my only chance to bond with someone who understands the exact position i am in, and then it turns out she hates me for almost the same petty reasons as the men in the laboratory. and also killed a guy. haori is so fucking alone it drives me up a wall

— also i wrote a ficlet in dante’s ronin au once where jezaille calls her susato’s attack dog

— also also, we do not have any information on whether she knew asougi or not but i like to think she did. just like as that guy who’s always around susato with the sword and the cringefail aura. maybe they had conversations while waiting for susato to come out of her tutoring sessions! maybe they knew each other!! do you think susato told her that he was dead after getting back to japan, or do you think she only found out after mamemomi accused mikotoba of covering it up at the end of 2-1?

My unpopular opinion about this character: tragically i dont think theres enough haori content for me to actually have unpopular opinions on her. but she performs so incredibly well under stress. i think shes one of the rare people for whom stress actually helps to narrow down her focus.

— also one thing i always laser in on when writing her is her unfailing emotional honesty which is deeply funny considering 2-1 happens because she decided to find out about the poison on her own rather than telling anyone; the self loathing slash impostor syndrome slash fear of failure and rejection overrules that bit of her i guess :pensive: she is fully in panic mode for so much of 2-1

— oh yeah Yeah The Self Loathing thats also something ive never seen in any haori fics yet! she has a whole bit about wanting susato to throw her to the ground in the recess halfway through the trial and it’s kind of a joke but also Not yknow. “i completely betrayed your trust” like. god. theres a perfectionist streak there i think or at least signs of a not super great self esteem!

— hey haori would you say that the two things you hate the most (about yourself) are poisoning and betrayal. haha. okay thats not actual character analysis but i couldnt resist the reference

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish she came back in any form at all i wish susato mentioned her after 2-1 at all although i will say that 1) her being part of the defense in the end credits is like catnip to me and 2) it is my firm belief that susato deliberately avoids talking about her because she’s too afraid of her own feelings to even consider opening up to ryuu about her

— when will the haori murasame fancase of that trial at the end appear, by the way. i want them to get hosonaga a decently light sentence for theft and then he is immediately accused of murder right afterwards

— she also should have gotten to learn about wilson being awful. and also should have been the one to give susato jezaille’s case notes in 1-1 (i saw that hc in a susato roleswap au fic and i have completely integrated it into my belief system. as far as i am concerned she was that person. but a confirmation in 2-1 woulda been nice)

My OTP: [poking head out behind ao3 page and enough susahao fanart to drown a man] take a guess

My OT3: add gina in there baby!!! i dont have as solid ideas on the rest of the girlcule yet but gina is Necessary.

— i actually think haori would dislike both maria and nikolina upon first meeting, maria because of The Racism (she’d scream at her about believing in skull sizes) and nikolina because she does come off as pretty privileged and smug and aloof when you first meet her

— [insert five page rant about how we never see nikolina outside of her being afraid for her life and therefore have almost no idea what she was like in the troupe or among the crew but also she was probably afraid for her life while in the troupe as well so in a way we do have a pretty good idea of her behavior and also i think she uses aloofness as a shield]

— but Point Is they both remind her of jezaille too much for her to like them at first. but later! who knows?

#jules.txt #g: ace attorney #…okay im maintagging: #haori murasame #rei membami #sorry this is barely coherent it is late and i love her sososososo much #she is a force of nature. she is a scared teenager. she is a prodigy. shes down bad #i miss her more than anythiiiiiiing #mail #thesomewhatliterateaxolotl #caps

[catboytohru]

I have a disease of the mind that makes me care about adachi tohru but he's That Kind of joker adjacent fucked up that productive conversation about his character feels impossible

#he thinks hes so slick rejecting humanity and bonds because hes not like other girls #and yet in doing so he makes his need for human connection all the more obvious #hes a complete failure in a game about making bonds and i just think thats neat #adachi tohru #persona 4

[avoutput]

Gaming And Film: The Tomb Raider Example

A golden opportunity has arisen. I get to make another example of the star crossed genres, Film and Video Games. Two narrative forces bound by their visual narratives, but separated by a single major mechanic: Control. But a new challenger has arrived, or rather a returning challenger, another gaming legend. Tomb Raider. The gods have deigned Square Enix another chance at the big screen after their massive flop at the box office over 20 years ago with their own classic title, Final Fantasy. Gaming has made its way back to the big screen with Tomb Raider “parenthesis 2018 film” starring the legend herself, Lara Croft. Well, it stars a real actress, Alicia Vikander, but you know what I mean. Gaming has its own stars. Previously, this role had been played twice before by Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003). This gave me a very unique opportunity to take a jump back in time to gaming’s initial foray into the world of the Third Dimension (3D), its replication of cinematic narrative structure, and all of the freedom that comes with giving the player the ability walk around in that space, instead of just watching. It was during this 3D polygon era that cinema took a fundamentally flawed stance to the translation from game to film; they tried to duplicate as much of the minor details as possible in effort to reanimate and profit from a movie going audience. In doing so, they sacrificed the heart of good cinema trying to capture the flavor of the game, hoping that the only thing fans would need is a the skeletal carcass of their favorite game.

By the time that first installment of  Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) had hit the screens, there had been 4 full games released, none of which would ultimately become the story of the film. They surmised that simply making a film that imitated its main attraction, a (British) woman who raids tombs for treasure, would suffice. And in a way, this might be the most correct course of action. There had already been series of similar action films to take from, including Indiana Jones, James Bond, Mission Impossible, and Jackie Chan’s Armor of the Gods. With the games already pulling inspiration from these existing films, intentionally or not, it doesn’t seem that unreasonable to think that a film version of Tomb Raider would succeed at the box office.  All they needed was to eject the male as the lead and pop some abnormally large breasts on an otherwise perfectly attractive female figure. But then the real question becomes, why make this film based on a video game character at all? Obviously brand recognition and the all mighty dollar, both domestic and international, but wouldn’t they need more to really entice both the fans and the uninitiated alike? And this exposes an issue with the Hollywood mindset that, while I have come to understand, I can’t abide or come to terms with. Forsaking the heart of intelligible film making in favor of a return on investment. When art and capitalism mix in which the art comes second, the audience usually loses, and the house of Hollywood usually wins or breaks even. Because for the audience, what’s on the line is a chance to make a good video game into a great movie, and if that movie flops, then investors look at not just the game franchise, but all gaming films as a risky or unworthy investment. Stranger still however, is what ended up happening with Tomb Raider. It returned big on its initial run, almost certainly powered by Jolie’s star power. But when you make a cheap, flimsy version of  a game into film, and it works, it becomes the model that all video game films run on. We end up being served a deformed representation of something that, in my opinion, never stood a chance of becoming anything more than a cash grab. (See: Resident Evil (2002) starring Milla Jovovich)

At no point does Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) or its sequel try to become more than a cheap representation of its source material sewn together using existing action-adventure movie tropes. The original games themselves offer little more than an exploratory cave diving, gun slinging shell for people to play in. Games (at the time) were not as harshly criticized for taking huge leaps in story, tone, or realism, but the films never really took that risk. In the game, Lara shoots at bats, bears, and wolves while cave diving. Yet, both Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) and The Cradle of Life (2003) look indistinguishably bland compared to other films of their era like LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring, Swordfish, Training Day, Jurassic Park III, Pirates of the Caribbean, Kill Bill, The Matrix Reloaded, and many more. Granted these budgets are a bit more inflated, even their smaller moments are better than Jolie’s biggest. In fact, some of the stunts seem to come right out of the Mission: Impossible series. Taking a game thats little more than an empty, fun action platformer and trying to build an entire film franchise around it without adding some spark of originality or building any sense of a larger world for its characters will ultimately lead to a lackluster, forgotten film. Anybody watching these movies today are only returning because they might be a fan of the franchise, which might be the only win under the belt these films, but it’s another loss for gaming, gamers, and film.

Moving into the next generation of consoles and computers, as games become more modern, they began to more deftly integrate cinematic techniques. Game creators can control the world, the camera, and the characters with complete freedom, unlike film which has to worry about pesky things like props, actors, and reality. In 2013, Tomb Raider was re-imagined by Crystal Dynamics and published by Square Enix. They created a more sleek and vibrant world that embraced a mixture of realism and paranormal. Lara was modernized, made a bit more youthful, and her skillset was more refined and deadly. She went from a caricature to a character and her adventure matured into something a bit more robust. Coupled with expert pacing, the new Lara Croft moves through her deadly environment and faces foes head-on in the same vein as Indiana Jones. Only she is a bit more willing to pull the trigger or sling an arrow. I don’t want to continuously gush about this game, so to summarize, I will just say this game was by far one of my favorite action games in this last generation. This reinvisioned version would become the basis for the recently released Tomb Raider (2018), and I was excited to see what kind of adaptation would spring forth. After the many, many Hollywood failures, had gaming finally caught up so completely to cinema, possibly even overtaken it, that it could allow for an easy transition from game to film?

As much as I don’t want to spend the entirety of this review discussing the differences between the film and the exact game it was based on, that is technically the point of this article. Still, I’ll spare you a lengthy diatribe and stick to the key differences between Jolie and Vikander’s Lara Croft. In this version, the realistically re-imagined Lara Croft is crafty with a bow instead of guns, inexperienced instead of an expert, and hasn’t attended any higher learning in pursuit of abandoning her heritage to find her own way. These also happen to be departures from the Crystal Dynamics’ Lara Croft as well. However, I found that these character changes spoke the language of cinema better, making for a more relatable character, especially for late millennials and gen Z at which this version is aimed.

Tomb Raider (2018) stars the new Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) as she takes on the challenge of living life as a broke young woman in the big city. But, a twist, the young lady is broke by choice, turning down the opportunity to take up her family name and with it , the family business. Angry that her father, Lord Richard Croft (Dominic West), never returned from a business trip and is considered dead, she mounts a personal battle against her heritage. Through a series of turns, she finds a final message from her father in a secret bunker outside her family estate, warning her to burn all of his research just in case some bad guys come looking for it. Instead, of course, she sets out to find the last place he was said to have visited, enlisting the son of the man, Lu Ren (Daniel Wu), whose boat was to have taken her father to his final resting place. At this point the film finally takes a similar shape to the game, introducing Mathis Vogal (Walton Goggins) as the leader of digging team sent to find the treasure of Lady Himeko’s tomb. Vogal has been employing as slaves shipwrecks and treasure hunters who have come to the island in search of such a treasure.

At this point, I would like to praise this film for actually making a decent adaptation of the game. The actors are great, the story is pretty tight, and they do a pretty good job keying you into just how far Lara will have push herself to get what she wants. Unlike Jolie, who was characterized as a fearless expert, Vikander is an inexperienced young girl who struggles at almost every turn. Throughout the film, she misses, she loses, and she takes hits, which is similar to the game, except when you lose the game, it had some pretty incredible death scenes. But in a way, I personally liked her Crystal Dynamics video game persona better. She was both experienced and still struggled. She used her wit and cunning to elude her captors. In the 2018 film, Lara spends most of the runtime falling into situations and just kind of winging it, but not with tools or weapons found in the game, mostly just through luck. My only other criticism is a bit of a spoiler if you have played the game and not seen the movie or have seen the movie but not played the game. But here it is. The film rejects the concept of the supernatural, which is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to see the film after having played the game. The game continuously hints at the supernatural, but only towards the end do we actually see it in action, which totally caught me off guard. I half expected some ancient local tribe would be behind some form of sabotage from the shadows, like in an episode of Scooby Doo. But how does this stack up as a video game film? Can we build a new legacy from here?

Well, unlike the Jolie era, video games and film are not so different anymore. In fact, film often doesn’t have the runtime to contain an entire video game plot into a single movie. The golden age of television would be a better place for your favorite game stories. Japanese anime has been doing this for years with shows like Star Ocean EX and Persona 4 The Animation. In a very short time, film has been surpassed as an entertainment medium in size, scope, and runtime/playtime. But the one thing that you can feel has really changed in Hollywood is that they no longer underestimate the need for authenticity in the transition. Gaming films are getting better because gaming has become better. The stories they tell are taken more seriously, and triple-A titles have bigger budgets than some triple-A films. Gaming companies could be looking to invest in adaptations to film, seeing them as an extended product to their own. With that dollar power and some guaranteed butts in seats, we should be able to expect better films. I would like to imagine if both Godzilla and King Kong can be re-imagined into great films that also get to share the same universe as a plethora of tokusatsu monsters that gaming can get of its ass and produce some better films. Still, it was only 2 years ago that Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016) was released, ending a series of terrible video game films that did nothing to elevate games as critically good films. Assassin's Creed (2016) also didn’t help.

The thing is, we don’t need video games adapted into film. Gaming has its own thing going on, and when it’s done right, it does it all bigger and better. But, if we are going to continue to see them pushed into film, let’s at least get a few things straight. First, there is a balance between authentic and creative. Take care to have a vision for the film beyond simply taking a bird’s eye view of the game and applying that visual to the film. The old Tomb Raider was built on the back of action genre films we had already seen and for the most part lacked any sense of creativity. It was authentic to its source from afar, but up close it offered nothing for fans beyond a push-up bra and two guns. Second, be aware of the scope of the game’s world. More and more games are open world, meaning that the world is going to be as much a character in its own right, so don’t forget that it exists. Even older games can have a vibrant world. A good example is Castlevania, which saw an amazing mini-series produced by Netflix. The story was small, but it never betrays the world in which it takes place. Now more than ever, the lines between gaming and cinema have all but been erased, so narratively, you can take a much more direct approach to the translation. Feel free to rewrite the story as long as it doesn’t forsake the game’s characteristics. Games are no longer manufactured for control alone, they have well thought out characters, themes, and motifs, all with a joined motive. If Lara Croft has taught us anything, take calculated leaps, not blind jumps into the abyss.

#Film #Review #Articles #Tomb Raider #Gaming #Alicia Vikander #Lara Croft #Angelina Jolie #Playstation #Playstation 4 #PC Gaming #Steam #Streaming #Xbox #XBONE #XBOX 360 #PC

[cheesedoodlesurprise]

Dragon Age 2 Rant

Someone brought it up in some random Facebook Group and it got me thinking that I should finally just put it down in words.  

Dragon Age 2 is so horribly underrated that it hurts.  

The game gets so much hate that people didn’t understand what it did right

–BUT let’s get this out of the way fast: The below rant does NOT include the Level Design.  The same 4 locations used over and over.  There is no excuse for that.  It is bad and it should feel bad for it.  However much the points i will make can also be transferred over to this failure as well, that is just warping a point to excuse lazy or rushed design.

The people I have spoken to tend to cite one main example of its failure as a Role Playing Game(barring the above shit level design) and that is simply that it fails due to its action-style gameplay when compared to the original Dragon Age:Origins.  And I understand that.  There’s two radian wheels(unless you have a computer) and you’re running around and there’s not really much Party Maintenance like it had in the original.  It is not what a traditional RPG should be, and the party direction system was not the best(it reminded me way too much of Kingdom Hearts and Donald’s proclivity to use mega-elixers every time he loses one bar of mp unless you jump in there and hit him with the no-no can) especially when you realize that capitalizing on Condition Statuses is a main feature in felling your enemies.  It is just a gross departure from what a Role Playing Game should be, compounded by the fact that this was the Second Installment and it was already deviating so much from the turn based-lite party management norm.

The answer to this is simple.  Think back to the beginning of the game.  What happens?

The Hawke family gets attacked by a big fuck-off dragon and the story immediately cuts to Cassandra giving Varric shit for telling her something as stupid as “A Dragon Appeared” and you see that this whole game is now a narrative work; a retelling of events by someone being interrogated.  

Not just anyone, A FUCKMOTHERING BARD!!!!

Have YOU ever played a tabletop with someone rolling a bard?

You can’t believe a word they say, because the truth is boring and never makes for a good story.  So when asked what they did when separated from the party, instead of ‘Oh, there was a goblin so i stabbed it in the back” you’re told of a daring battle with a Bugbear King, where after felling the horrid beast, you found the princess he was holding prisoner and after releasing her from her bonds, she then had you free her from another trapping: that of virginity.

The point is this: Bards Lie.

If you take nothing else out of not just this long, badly punctuated, rant, take that.  Bards Lie about everything and anything.  It is who they are.  The story is all that matters.  So what is a Bard to do when being tortured by a bunch of Zealots, demanding knowledge on what to expect when they track down and try to kill one of your best friends?

Punch. That. Story. Up!

You make what originally is just a standard-if not slightly above average-fighter look like a whirling dervish of death to any who would cross him.

That’s what makes the story so well, this isn’t just an unreliable narrator, it is THE MOST unreliable of narrators.  One that tells you, right off the bat, that a lot of this never even happened.  You never know what really happened to Hawke and his Band of Merry Murder.  So, yes, the gameplay is a lot more action-oriented and you don’t have nearly as many combat options(especially if you are a mage) but it’s punched up to 11 the whole time because the person conveying the story is giving it all a nice sheen of ‘this is what happens when people cross them.”  You are not watching the Story of Hawke in this game.  You are watching VARRIC’S story of Hawke.

But that only answers the main issue people have with the game.  The change in controls.

What I never got is this: How can you rip on an RPG about its controls?  They are just mechanics, nothing more, and I have to say Bioware games always kinda sucked at their Turn-Based-But-Not-Really Mechanics.  KOTOR had a lot of issues and the crux of it was the clunky interface and squad controls.  I would love to have a party on a set it and forget it mechanic and not having to constantly pause the gameplay to switch over to one of the characters because they chose to not move out of fire.  How is that better than a little bit of AI that will give your party even SOME autonomy?  Because if you wanna talk about immersion, a character who is, in the narrative of the story, talked up as the quickest cutpurse on this continent and can never be caught by anyone but for some reason can not even fathom the idea of moving away from a giant spike pile he can see on the ground and instead walks right through the damn thing and kills himself is example 1:3 under the definition of Ludonarrative Dissonance.

….My point is this: Combat in Traditional RPGs is kinda trash to begin with and the main reason you play them is not combat.  It’s story.  The story is the big pull.  And this game has story falling out its ass.  It suffers in some places, sure, with what you can tell is rushed design and you are pigeon holed in a lot of places.  Case in point:I was a Mage who hated Blood Magic but put a lot of faith in the Apostates, so when every time you choose to help runaway mages and they come back and, whelp, looks like they are Blood Mages now I was so VERY angry at the game.  Livid.  I honestly don’t think people who played Rogues or Warriors and got DEEP into their characters(@meonlyred, I’m looking at you) can really match that level of anger and disappointment in the story of a game.  No matter what I try, these people just kept failing me.  

But that is the point.  I got so invested into this story that I was disappointed in 1s and 0s.  Here I was, trying to change the whole of Kirkwall by action alone: proving that having Magic does not mean you will become a monster(and, yes, i HATED the goddamn teaser trailer because in it, HAWKE USES GODDAMN BLOOD MAGIC JUST BECAUSE THE FUCKING BULL MAN WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and yet every one I was putting faith and and having others trust my judgement on have been utterly betraying that faith and trust.

Because this land never functioned on the same as me.  I was the outsider.  The Fereldan immigrant, assuming that this world will function the same as the one I left.  Granted the land I left also had a jihadist attitude to my way of life, this new one in Kirkwall had a civil and social structure completely Foreign to me.  There was no way to change the way they viewed the world because I was just one person.  One Outsider, no matter my lineage, who couldn’t change anything.  This land was going to burn itself no matter what I did.  

And that was the point of Varric’s Story.  Hawke wasn’t the cause of the things that doomed Kirkwall.  The Expedition, the one that found the artifact that corrupted everyone?  Hawke just helped with the last leg of its setup.  They would have got it together eventually.  They would have found it.  Bartrand would have found it regardless.  And Anders still would have…. You know what, let’s save that shit til the end because I don’t want to upset myself early.

Anyway…. All of this would have happened no matter what(maybe a few things would have changed slightly, but not by much) Hawke did, but he was still in the middle of it all.  I know a lot of people like their stories to be centered around them, but those can get boring. Let’s use Fallout as an example: The Sole Survivor, wandering the wastes of The Commonwealth? When you spend your first 100 hours farming Duct Tape instead of finding your son, you come out to be an asshat.  But The Courier?  NOPE!  He was just a guy living in this world.  He isn’t the center of any story, really.  He is just a guy out for revenge, but he has no idea where to get it so him wondering around and dealing with random crap isn’t nearly as a disconnect as the game before or after it.  They are really fun and enjoyable protagonists.  Heck, one of my favorite Final Fantasys is 12: the one where you are NOT the main character of the story.  Thats the Sky Pirate and the Princess.  You are just tagging along for the ride, experiencing their story like a good audience surrogate.  

The only reason you are always being thrust into the middle of everything is because the Powers of this Town are throwing you at them.  The Qunari menace?  You are asked(told) to go deal with it, and it all blows up in your face because of someone else.  Hell you even tried to STOP the hellscape to be with Anders(that motherfucker) by being a good person and talking to him.  But nope.  He had his crappy agenda and nothing you could do would stop it.

….you know what, sure let’s talk about it now. That whole ending arc just pissed me off to no end.  There is Anders killing the ONE person in this whole city trying to hold everything together and treated people with even an ounce of trust and faith JUST TO PROVE A POINT THAT SIMPLY BY DOING IT DISPROVED HIS GODDAMN POINT!  

“Mages aren’t evil so I’m going to kill the beacon of peace in this whole shitty city which will lead to EVERY GODDAMN MAGE to just flipping a ‘whelp guess i’m an abomination now, time to murder everyone, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee blood magic is fuuuuuuuun!’ switch and I guess completely dismantle my entire point.  It’s a good thing Hawke stabbed me for being a fucking idiot” and then you come across the Mages who are holed up to protect themselves but, wouldn’t you know it, their leader turned himself into a Tentacle Death Monster and now you have to kill the one mage who had your back and was a beacon of not being a dickhole.  

All of this just constant “Mages are all evil dicks, lets torch them all’ just upset me so much.  I was playing the entire last part of the game with a giant grimace.  Angry at this whole damn city and making me kill all these people I tried to make better.

Yes, me.  I got so deep into this game(if you read up, I dropped the possessive pronoun a bit when talking about the story) that I was upset that they were betraying MY expectations of them as people.  Not Hawke.  By this time I got way into the game and imprinted.  

No matter what faults it has, in the end its story caused me to become so engrossed with it that even when it took a turn I did not like, I was so invested I was still hooked and responding to it as if it were happening to me.

I know it was a long rant that just sort of cut off, but Anders will do that to me.  Hell, I hated what he did so much, I even tried making a toon to romance him so I could see if there was more dialogue options or how it would shape with him actually having a loving relationship and nope! He still acted the same.  Just pleaded more for me to understand.  

I STILL had to gut him.  I was still so damn pissed off at him I had to kill him even as a character romancing him!

[nothe: wrote this up at work when I was bored so there is a very good chance I have odd stops and idea changes due to the nature of writing something while also having to work  on projects so it may be updated frequently]

#dragon age #da:2 #dragon age 2 #rant #anders #bards lie #story trumps rules

[survivorindia]

Playing with Jordan Pines is like playing with knives- Sarah (Episode 5)

I'm sorry Bernel had to leave like that and I really hope everything's okay with him, but in a way, it may very well be a secret savior. Not enough talking was done up until that point so I have no idea who would've left - Robin assured me she didn't want Lexi or I gone and that OG whatever the hell our tribe name was should stick together, and Julia/Alex and I were on call for the challenge and agreed we didn't want any of us to go since we're arguably the most active and we certainly helped the most with the movie, but even then... I can't say my social game is top notch. I'm simply not built to be a social player, I lack all the skills necessary. But luckily some people on here ain't active enough that I can cover up my own discrepancies with their lack of appearance. There's other fish to fry yet, and hopefully I can live to see the jury...

W'elp, the lacklusterishness has come back to bite me. I've gotta approach everyone I talk to, and the two people I don't approach constantly throw my name out. The tribe's turning like eggs on a hot summer day. That's no bueno, no bueno at all...

Luckily, Alex and Julia are hopefully going to help me 'ere. They're attempting to convince them to split the votes on probs Jaiden and I, and then we strike. We can flip this - failure's not an option, because failure means my head on the guillotine. No second chances.

Jaiden's down for rocks, it seems, if it comes down to it. Robin's promised to not vote me. So I think I should be able to live here... I hope so... I'm too young to die.

I do think enough people will vote dom out, and than again I don't because the plan is highkey messy. Like there is literally a 4/4 split in our tribe as of now. It's me, alex, jaiden, and Johnny on the best side, and the other is the losers. But if we lie to them correctly we can get them to split their votes and than we vote the majoirty with hope the vote turns out as 4-2-2

I'm absolutely freaking out right about now. This vote is terrifiying me and I don't want to leave. Like I don't know what is going to happen like this is all going to be so insane. I'm playing with people who could, or could not be messy as hell. Like I need some sort of security, and when I don't feel grounded I get worried. And that is all because I'm a Taurus which is down to Earth, and I dont feel comfortable when I don't feel like I'm in a secure situation, or know what will happen. And right now I CANNOT let my nerves get the best of me, I won't let it happen. I just want to be able to say I made TS Jury, and even more my next goal if I made the jury would to be to take it to the end of this game with Sarah. Because that would be the best situation to be put in because I would feel like I did something good and memorable in this game. And I just don't want to keep having my chances jeopardized. Like I never thought this game was going to be THAT HARD. Like I was booted very early in Bangladesh and I cannot LET that happen again. I just want to do good. And I have no idea if I can trust going to rocks, I will be so terrifiyed of being eliminated, and that would suck. I just don't know what to do im at my mental point where Jazmine is about to come out and we all know that does not need to happen at all.

: I'm legit so sick of this tribe what the hell. So we lost the first challenge which would have been a super easy challenge to win if people actually participated and were more hands on, than we loose this and it could have been executed better by other tribe members if they did the challenge more diligently. And my score of 7 is an overall average score so that shows that I still want to be here. Unlike these lazy idiots who jeopardize my game every three days because their lazy asses can't put forth 30 mins of their time tops to actually try in a challenge. This is tumblr survivor bitches, so maybe you should get your shit together instead of me having to suffer because most of you are lazy messes. And that goes to dom, jaiden, Robin, and Lexi. Fuck you guys right now I'm so mad. 

So we won the challenge which is nice. I think I am in a decent spot on this tribe tbh due to us having an innactive player and me being pretty decently connected to people. I'm sort of in a few alliances though we don't really have any chats, like I'm in an alliance with Sarah and Julia and I'm in a returnee alliance on our tribe of Me, Sarah, Kendall, Gavin and Ashley. I like to think I am going to be in a decent spot going forward. We haven't had to go to tribal on this tribe but Whitney sort of disappeared so I am sure if we lose she would be the one to go 100%. I think things are good right now.

I guess we are going to rocks tonight. I don't know what to say. Sorry Dom but you won't speak to me about this. I told you. I hope I get rocked out tonight. For once, I didn't want to make a big move. If Dom plays his idol and exposes my betrayal, then at least I can say that I knew this was coming.

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mreidjr/78051217/7913/7913_900.gif So I just went on call with Dom. And you know what he told me? He said that Sarah and Julia have told him everything I said about him. From how I felt like he was too much, how I didn't like him at all, how I wanted to use him to get further in the game. All that shit. That's why I voted for him, according to them. It's real funny because for a while, I did believe those things to be true. Sarah was the first person I talked to about all that. I thought she was my friend, I really did. But I see why she's on the villains tribe, because she's a heartless, cold-blooded viper. The entire Dom vote came as a result of her and Julia wanting him gone. Certainly, I didn't help with them coming to that decision, but it's become evident to me that this is the person everyone parades around and claims to be best friends with. We talk about that Bangladesh final tribal where Sarah cries over how Eddie betrayed her so badly, but then here she is, acting like a complete hypocrite. She can say that these two situations are not the same, which they are not, but the knife she plunged into my back burns the same. I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I fucked up, so it makes sense why everything spilled out in front of me on the dirt floor. Now I have to work on making people like me again, because I don't think they'll trust me for a while. We can say that I have a long road ahead before I can regain their trust, but the truth is that I have a much steeper path to the finish than before. They might not ever trust me, so I need to give them a reason to understand me. I don't know how, but I'll try. I'll take the knife that was firmly planted in my back and return it to its rightful owner one day. I did these things for her, and while she was always on my hit list, no matter that she was low, I think she's found her way to the top. Karma is a bitch, and so is she. Maybe I won't win this fight, but I think I'll die trying, and I'm at peace with that.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ @ Johnny potentially going home. If he doesn't, well...┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

Ok so more happened after that video, so i went on call with julia and we talked about how she thinks jaiden doesnt want to work with her and wants to lowkey work with dom but then jaiden called me, and SPILLED TEA THAT DOM HAS THE IDOL ...SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER And he still wants dom out so i lowkey forced jaiden on julia, alex and johnny and thats half their tribe..So then they need one more person. But they came up with amazing idea to scare the other side...dom,ruben,lexi and robin that johnny has the idol bc all those 4 ppl want to vote him out...SO IF THOSE 4 SPLIT THE VOTE BC THEYRE SCARED OF AN IDOL THEN THEY WOULD BE MAJORITY AND HONESTLY IM HERE FOR IT. I WANT DOM GONE AND I WANT TO WORK WITHJOHNNY, JULIA, JAIDEN AND ALEX IN MERGE OR COME SWAP SO BAD !!! im so nervous for them but excited at the same time :~) also julia and i came up with a name for just us and u can now call us Salia ....ISNT THAT CUTE FUCKCKODKSJF

So as far as my tribe goes: From what I know, Jordan has the idol. In addition to that, Dom also has the idol. I have supposed to not tell anyone about what Jordan tells me. Everything I know goes straight to Alex or to Ashley to ensure that those bonds stay solid. As of now, I've been trying to keep relations open with everyone on my tribe, especially Liam because keeping Liam safe premerge shows Johnny post merge that I'm trustworthy. So what I've told Liam is that Jordan and a few others have the idea of a returnees alliance and that he might be on the chopping block, though I reassured him that is not the reality of the matter. If he seems to be going home, I am open to flipping against the returnees. So that's where I stand right now, I have my Ashley relationship which branches out to Casey. I have my Liam relationship which branches out to Johnny. I have my Jordan Pines relationship which branches out to Sarah and Dom. So all in all, I feel safe on my tribe. And I believe that Whitney will be the first to go if we head to tribal.

Other Tribe Thoughts: So my main ally in this game is Alex, I trust him more than anybody else. What I need to be weary of is that he has a great social game which may prove to be an issue for my game further down the line. In the short term, I still want to work in his best interest which tend to align with my best interest. Because of that, I've continued to talk to him, despite being on different tribes. I told Alex as soon as I found out about Dom's idol. He's now looking closely at who Dom is aligned with as we move closely towards this tribal. The issue is is that Dom seems to be close with Jaiden and Ruben. With Ruben dating Lexi, and that right there is 4 people. So it doesn't look like Dom will go home unless Alex can pull a fast one on Dom. I plan to now get on a call with Alex, to find out what is going on presently in the Parvati tribe, but Dom going home is the best case scenario for me for the following reasons Dom is close with Jordan Dom is close with Jaiden Jaiden and Jordan have one less ally, and one more friend in me to depend on and that helps me from a social standpoint. Furthermore, any blood falls on Alex's hands and not minds since he will be exectuing the final action. lastly we get rid of an idol. that could hurt me down the line.

Alex is going for the jugular this round. I hope Johnny stays... hasta la vista Dom ;) Also, PINES, you're a scary player. Please implode sooner rather than later ^__^

LITERALLY I'M ON TRIBAL CALL RIGHT NOW. I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO BE VOTED OUT. DOM TOLD ME HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THE VOTE, RUBEN TOLD ME HE TOLD DOM ABOUT THE VOTE. REGAN SAID SHE ALREADY HAD THE VOTES WHICH MEANS DOM IS A LIAR AND SO IS RUBEN IF I'M OUT I WILL COMMIT

So real life has gotten in the way and I’m a ball of depression so I have no idea where I left off. Therefore, I will recap the first two tribals in this confessional. Aidan left after voting me which was not surprising since he was acting suspicious and I heard Monte was planning on keeping him and ridding the tribe of me after that. I had thrown him a lifeline by telling him the group wanted him out and I would vote with him so if he had just brought himself, Monte and I together that would be a tie at least and I believe I could have possibly gotten Ruben to vote with me. Alas, he did not do that and lied to me while getting voted out unanimously. Steven was rocked out on the other newbie tribe which was crazy for a first tribal? No idea whatsoever of what’s happening over there so let’s move on. If I keep showing up for challenges then I believe that I could make it through a little while longer until a swap where I can hope they target bigger threats and I can hide. Still no luck on finding that idol; the grid is huge but someone could possibly have it already?

Monte left unanimously which was a relief and from the other villains tribe, Ace got the boot which I have no opinion on since it was unanimous and I have no clue as to who he is. Here I am, slaving away, trying to make sure our tribe does not go to tribal by doing the challenge all by myself. I have enough votes for a tie so why do I care at all if Casey does not care to stay, we shall never know. Well I do know, but that takes away from my needed dramatic statement. I just don’t care to lose my mind once more at a tribal. The challenge came down to who submitted quickly and I submitted at the perfect time and won us the challenge. The returnee villains were fuming but if they had an issue with the way it was going to be submitted then they had more than enough time to voice their concerns which they did not until they had lost. I can finally relax for once and just watch as others get taken out.

Nicole got the boot which is a bit unfortunate as I believe I could have worked with her as we are in another game together. Although, she never responds to any messages at times as I found out from that other game which makes me uneasy when I am trying to decipher if she is with me or against me. She came off as a brat to the other returnee villains is what I was told but I did not pay close enough attention to that situation to have an opinion. ~~~Swap time~~~ We have 4 newbies against 5 returnees and 4 villains against 5 heroes so as you can probably do the math, I, Lexi, am in minority, no matter which way you spin it. Jordan came up to me quickly and proposed that the villains stick together and I am all "HELL YEAH! That idea rocks!" but on the inside, I'm more of a "well dude, I would practically align with Satan himself at this point to keep myself safe".

t’s me Lexi hi, just dropping by to say I can feel myself losing my sanity day by day. I still hate most of these people which I cannot place my finger on as to why? A large possibility due to myself hating life right now I suppose. They are a-okay folks; I just needed a dramatic statement to start this off since it's been relatively boring on our tribe. Some speak, some don't, some are playing quite hard... by some I only mean Jordan on that last one. I'll keep him close as I can to push in front of me as a nice shield for later on, but it is hard to trust the guy as I believe him to be close with a number of other people. I love this challenge we had, it's cute and doesn't consume too much time. We won and I will most likely not be in an alliance chat still so here's to hoping for another swap or an early merge. I want to blow up and do something fun but is it too early? Stay tuned

alright so my schedule's getting cleared up. i've got more time and been talking to the few people I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to. it looks like lexi and ruben aren't targets for this tribal. i'm surprised honestly because back in nayak they felt very threatened by their relationships. it makes me feel a little skeptical that there might be some major scheming going on that im not aware of. but i feel fairly confident that i'll be safe as well as lexi and ruben. i've talked to everyone on the tribe and no one has brought them up. the vote is supposed to be split with johnny and jaiden but since johnny has openly targeted and gone to rocks to get rid of lexi, we've decided it's better for johnny to leave. we might upset a few people but at that point we'll be down to 7. lexi, ruben, and i trust each other a lot so i don't see any of us targeting each other. i think either ruben or dom could be with us so im not too worried about any effects this tribal will have.    

Ok so i stopped guessing for the idol because Dom told Ruben he already has it so thats fine. Dom,Johnny,Alex dont talk to me so yikes but dom is close to ruben so i dont really care all that much. Alex came to ruben and said he wants boys to vote jaiden and girl to vote johnny. Which im voting johnny either way but so is ruben and dom so we should be sending johnny out the door which obviously i would love since he didnt have the balls to talk to me after all that rocks shit went down. Alex hasnt even talked to me about the plan so like ok? I dont trust him, he keeps telling ruben WE HAVE TO SPLIT but like youre probably just trying to save johnnys ass and send jaiden home. I mean who knows what Julia,Johnny and Alex are trying to plan. All i know is im voting johnny and so should robin,ruben,dom, and jaiden. Julia says she is but like who knows. Its just weird to me that johnny isnt trying to scramble to anyone.

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause