“I will tolerate any treatment. Like I play games, and I’ll put up with anything. I’ll spend time on some garbage rpg franchise. You know, I don’t wanna name an actual franchise so let’s just make one up; let’s call it ‘Dragon Age’.
So I’ll think about “‘Dragon Age’ and I’ll log onto on Tumblr and I’ll go, “Can I get some news about Dragon Age 4?”
And they go, “No. It’s delayed two years.”
And I go, "Okaaay!”
And then I go back to other games for a little bit.
And then I come back from other games and I go, “Any updates?”
And they go, “Yeah, we released Dragon Age 4 while you were on Tumblr. Because we hate you. Now take this game that isn’t finished!”
And I go, "Okaaay!” and I go over to the game and go, “Can I have the proper ending?” and they go "NO!”
And I go, “Okaaay!”
And they go, “You"re a little nerd, aren’t you?”
And I go, “Nooo,” and they go, “SAY IT!” and I go, “I’m a little nerd.”
And then I go over to the Dragon Age twitter for updates, which is an oxymoron, and I go, “Can I please enjoy a franchise without worrying about general racism, misogyny, and other issues?” and they go "No! In fact, we"re gonna steal all of your money through DLCs that should have been part of the main game, and you’re gonna be in debt for thirty years!”
And I go, “Why are you doing this to me?!”
And they go, “Because we’re Dragon Age, and life is a fucking nightmare!”
But with my friends, they would just be like, “Let’s see if Assassin’s Creed is any fun.”
So it’s better.”