#hey. can you tell i have bpd. be honest /silly

[fangedfcker]

been thinking about being the sub to an older more powerful vampire... one who's very very possessive of me. holding me down by the throat while he's fucking me, lamenting that he couldn't be the one to turn me, but biting me anyways as the next best thing. making me cockwarm him whenever he wants, keeping me near him at all times, dressing me up in nice outfits so he can ruin them later. maybe he even makes me say i'm his, makes me plead for him when he holds me down, makes me swear i'll always belong to him before he fucks me so hard i forget my own name.

#hey. can you tell i have bpd. be honest /silly #t4t nsft #vampire k!nk #vampire k1nk #mlm nsft #mlm d/s #mlm cnc #t4t cnc #* these are all consensual in my mind but its a little dubious in writing #so im tagging just in case #fangedtlks

[bpd-seishi]

Hi there! I'm kinda new to your blog so... If I say anything wrong please forgive me >•

u haven’t said anything wrong at all omg please don’t worry about that!! if anything i’m sorry for leaving u hanging for so long we at bpd-seishi headquarters aren’t the fastest or the most efficient and i’m just. i’m so sorry akldfjklsd ;w; 

so—trans-girl ayumu and emi getting along headcanons, huh? i think i can do that! ;w; so: 

honestly, emi is just thrilled to have a sister. i know i headcanonned ayumu with two other sisters aside from emi but neither canon actually supports that headcanon of mine (RIP my dumb idiot self ;w;) so we’re just gonna ignore that :’0 

mostly, emi has always wanted someone to play dress up with. when ayumu was younger, she’d always happily oblige and let emi put her in her old clothes, do her makeup, etc. 

now that they’re older, well—not much has changed, actually, haha :’3 

whenever ayumu comes over, emi always does her makeup (even teaching her new tips and tricks she can try)(ayumu never does them  herself but she appreciates her sister teaching them to her anyway ;w;) and dresses her up in pretty outfits >w

they also go clothes shopping together quite a bit! emi helps ayumu find clothes and styles that fit her figure and jewelry that would go well with the dresses/skirts/etc. that she buys her. now, ayumu isn’t much of a fashion girl but she still has a lot of fun, and she’s glad to see her sister so happy! ^w^ 

honestly the crux of these headcanons is really that emi is a girly girl while ayumu kinda,, isn’t lmao she tends to be more androgynous in my eyes. but she’s not opposed to a girl’s day out! 

a lot of times during their shopping trips they end up eating out/going to a coffee shop or ice cream parlor and just chatting really! 

emi tells ayumu about her job and her coworkers while ayumu tells her silly stories about her classmates because let’s be honest she has plenty of material ajldfjalkds 

they also probably go karaoke bars and emi gently bullies nudges ayumu into singing, haha :’3 

ayumu doesn’t like being in front of a crowd but she has a nice voice and eventually she warms up to it. it helps that emi’s by her side :’) 

when they’re at home they just curl up on the couch with a bunch of snacks and watch melodramas together, haha. they end up talking over them half the time because they’re poking fun at them the whole time but it’s still fun! ^w^ 

they also have a “sisterly book club” of sorts where they’ll read the same book and then get together at a tea shop or something and talk about it! 

sometimes they disagree but hey that’s all part of the fun. what’s the fun in a discussion where u agree on all the same things? what’s a convo without a little sisterly disagreement, y’know? ^-^ 

i hope these are what u wanted!! feel free to send another ask if it isn’t though. i’m sorry it took me a while to get to them, oh gosh, motivation is just a moving target, y’know? i hope u can forgive me someday friend ;w; 

#drrb #ayumu fujimori #emi fujimori #seishi mumbles #owo what's this?? mod seishi actually answering asks? :'0 #ngl i'm not the biggest fan of emi fujimori but this. this softened me to her #i may need to rethink my stance #anywAY TAGS YEAH #character: black cat mascara #character: the cat's big sis

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

Do you have any relationship advice for someone with borderline personality disorder?

So I can say outright that I do have a mental illness, but that issue is depression. It’s chronic and moderate-to-severe. And it sucks. But my experience with depression is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to someone’s experience with BPD, so just understand that you should take this advice with a grain of salt. 

But in my experience, the best way to approach relationships with your mental illness, whatever it may be, is BE HONEST ABOUT IT. That doesn’t mean you have to wave a flag around that says HEY I HAVE BPD I’M FUCKED UP ON THE INSIDE. 

What it does mean, however, is that you know approaching any friendship or relationship that you enter, that you’re coming with some baggage. That’s okay. Everyone has baggage. One thing I say very consistently, and I should probably say more on this blog, is that “everyone has their struggle.” Nobody is perfect - everyone has something wrong with them. Some people’s problems are just more complicated than others. 

For someone with BPD, the big problems are consistent irregularities of emotion that occur. These are obviously something that can be controlled, but there’s only so much control that can actually happen. Sometimes these emotions are out of the control of the person with BPD, and they fucked up. But it’s not THEIR FAULT; the chemicals in their brain twisted them into this position. Just like me, with depression, sometimes I grow very distant and non-talkative. I struggle with basic tasks, and sometimes I just need to be really alone, and other times when I’m with friends, I may not show many emotions. This is on my, but it’s not my fault; it’s my brains fault, and the chemicals in it that make me this way.

Which is something that super needs to be emphasized. YOUR MEDICAL CONDITION IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did nothing wrong. This is just the way the dice landed. And that’s okay. 

But from my perspective with depression, I have to tell people if my depression is hitting me hard. I’m fairly self-aware, so I am fortunate enough to be able to do that. If I’m feeling actively bad, I have to say, “Hey, I’m really depressed right now.” Many people may not understand what that means when I first meet them, so it means I have to express that to them. “When I’m really depressed, I’ll act a little weird. I might be mean or distant. I don’t mean to be, it’s just how I act. It doesn’t mean I care about you less; it just means my brain is making me do things I don’t mean to do. Please bear with me.” 

If you have BPD, you can have a similar talk with people. “Hey, I have BPD. This means that sometimes I’ll act pretty strange. This can take awhile for me to get out of a funk, but it usually passes. I might say some really mean and hurtful things, or do silly things, as part of this problem. But please try to understand that it isn’t a reflection of my feelings when I’m in the right frame of mind; I just get out of control, and I’m doing my best.” 

The key is that last sentence. “Please bear with me.” This is not your fault, but your mental illness IS your responsibility - whether you want it or not. You can’t blame yourself for the way you are, but you also can’t blame other people for not wanting to deal with your bullshit. I can’t expect someone to be accepting of me when I’m at my worst; some people can’t handle me, and that’s okay. Some people can’t handle us, because we have too much baggage. That is not a slight on us; that just means they can’t do it, and that’s okay. Everyone has their struggle, and some people’s struggle is that they don’t want to struggle.

But for us, who do have struggles that we do have to be responsible for, then the best way to be responsible is by letting people know how we act, and how to treat us when we act that way. That way, if they are willing to help carry our baggage with us, they know what to expect. Especially when we falter and fail.