#honestly my pet theory at this point is that if you diagnose your abuser with this disorder its a good way to feel like you

[faelapis]

genuinely considering adding "don't follow if you're one of those people who use the term narcissist or NPD extremely loosely to basically mean anyone i see as mean, selfish or abusive in a way i can medicalize as a psychological disorder i can then think of as inherent to their very biology so i don't have to humanize them" to my about.

and no you're not exempt for this for being an abuse victim. in fact, that's a very bad way to comfort yourself. there's such an uncomfortable cocktail of ableism, othering and dehumanization in basically treating NPD as "the evil disorder" as a way to comfort / reassure yourself that whoever hurt you could never change anyway.

it's also shitty for the very simple reason that most people with NPD or other empathy-related issues are not abusers. its just that if someone does give in to their worst impulses, they're more likely to be diagnosed with NPD because they're unlikely to seek treatment on their own. for fucks sake guys. stop treating it the same way you treat scorpio in your astrology memes.

#vent / #not su related / #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #this is so prevalent lately and its. frustrating. to say the least #i tried to very gently and kindly bring this concern up with the very frustrating circlejerk that is r/narcissisticabuse #and i don't say that because their hurt isnt real but because how they've chosen to react to it is. concerning. to say the least #and btw since this seems to be necessary to say anything to these people - yes i've experienced parental abuse myself #honestly my pet theory at this point is that if you diagnose your abuser with this disorder its a good way to feel like you #definitely won't fall into the same patterns or the same self-centeredness because you're a Victim and they have the Bad disorder #and surrounding yourself with people who are only ever yes-men who validate you. which... i'm not saying it will lead to anything bad... #but it might. and it has. for some people. #just saying

[confused-bi-nerd]

Ok so it's like 2 in the morning but you know what I'm f*cking desperate for?

Modern day Anne with an E

I mean obviously the original historical context is just f*cking awesome.

But picture Anne being an incredible badass feminist bi icon. (Does she have a youtube channel? Who knows???? That'd be cool...)

Her new family, two pretty "traditionally" raised siblings at first have a hard time with her and her identity and intensity about everything. (When dont they though right)

She doesn't even have to be a "mistake." Nowadays with cellphones and stuff a confusion like that would be impossible. But maybe she just ran away because the orphanage was abusive af and kept sending her to sh*tty homes.

And honestly if Matthew doesn't have asperger/autism/down but it went ignored cause "we just don't talk about it" but Anne came and was like "that's f*cked up were getting you diagnosed and treated Matthew dammit" then what even is the point.

Diana being raised in a really harsh and severe family so she's afraid her mom will find out about her best friend being, well, her. (No, they are not dating, they're BFFs as originally just that Diana's mom sucks even more in the actual timeline.)

Honestly I just LOVE Anne and Diana's friendship. Like they've literally known each other for one day and they already have this deep bond, they truly are kindred spirits. I think Diana wouldn't even have a hard time accepting Anne; she would just be relieved she could finally explore herself. (Ace-Di-ana-Ace-Di-ana)

Cole (yes, Cole, book and series mixture S u C k I t) being openly gay and spending a lot of his time just laying low at Anne's because his parents also s u c k. (Uhhh maybe then he just realises he doesn't HAVE TO go back to his sh*tty parents and moves with aunt Jo, the Eccentric City Lesbian tm) (And also honestly let's say f*ck it and go all out: Cole with eyeliner)

Man they'd probably sneak around a lot talking about all this "forbidden stuff". Cole would join them whenever they were at Anne's (most of the time anyways) because Diana's mom knows his mom and there's no way in hell he'd risk crossing her way.

Mr IDKwhat (that teacher dating a student) being an ACTUAL pedophile and it being f*cking reported and shut down. (Yes I realize this was era appropriate but SURPRISE, stuff changed)

OMG GUYS MISS STACY

I could make a whole post about miss Stacy alone but lets just go with badass lesbian teacher who actively fights the school and the parents, takes bs from no one and basically adopts all of her students in need.

Also let's be honest, the Barrys would probably be this really wealthy family with a bigass house in the suburbs and they'd all own IPhones or some sh*t and the Cuthberts would be this regular middle class family with an inherited little house in a not-so-awesome-but-still-pretty-nice neighbourhood; so Diana's mom already isn't a big fan of Anne because a) "she's a freaking street orphan for God's sake" and b) "her ClAsS isn't exactly the SaMe as ours Diana dEaR". So imagine if she found out her _perfect older daughter's_ two best friend are queer icons one of them being "a BoY wHo WeArS mAkEuP" *scandalized old British lady accent*

And I can totally picture Anne with this really weird pet, like a mouse or a small bird or one of those extrangely small cats that you can carry in your pocket and her talking to it and it really looks like a conversation to outsiders. (Because it is, they're discussing the latest episode of a show or planning a prank on Cole's stupid homophobic mom)

Let's be honest, Anne would be the BIGGEST fan of Rent. I'm talking memorizing both songs AND dialogue and having a thousand fan theories she'd be able to defend against rain and wind. (This one was originally drafted during my Rent phase, geez it is a great musical though)

OMG GUYS JERRY AND DIANA. I'm talking Jerry being an old friend of Anne's (Orphanage? Foster home? The streets? We'll see...) and him falling HARD for Diana. (Not the same plot as the series though, I know it wouldn't have been possible back then but they'd totally stay together in MY self indulgent AU of everything. Still would exist the class issues and the Anne-Diana fight about it, bonus point if Jerry ends up Latino cause I want more representation man)

Maybe this part being on them more advanced on their life (Maybe the whole thing could be more advanced? Like directly starting with them at 16 or stg??? Cause like they are all sounding way too independent for twelve year olds) so Cole already moved to an apartment in the city near aunt Jo but all in all being independent and pushing through despite his terrible TERRIBLE parenting. And like both Anne AND Diana going to him with their class issues fight (Is Cole Latino/African American? I'd like that.... Let's say so it's my 2:40 am fantasy after all) and him being all surprised because a) He was most definitely NOT expecting them b) This two never fight about anything and c) Diana and Jerry? Geez how long was he away?

And I would legitimate M u R d E r someone for their yelling match across Cole's apartment being interrupted by like a male voice asking "Cole where is X thing?" And Anne and Diana like "I thought you'd been living alone this two years (two years, let's say so my brain is shutting down) since leaving aunt Jo's" and Cole being like "you've also missed a lot" And essentially that's how they meet Cole's boyfriend who doesn't understand a thing but rolls with it because he finally gets to meet famous Avonlea friends (the neighbourhood should be called Avonlea or among those line at least)

Anne and Gilbert WILL end up together cause I honestly think they're meant to be they just compliment each other but like maybe while fighting her totally obvious inner crush she'd date a few people, some girls, some boys, just casually bi-ing by but like settling but still being bi cause that's just real bi people

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

#here have your feminism discussion and your #gay rights and your everything #this is fucking long im sorry #i also realised i ussd fucking a lot #apologies for that too #i cuss a whole fucking lot when im tired #lol #Honestly its almost three am now #but i had to write this down cause its been in my head for weeks and i was gonna explode #anne with an e is just so fucking awesome #both book and series #me sad #but like the book #it has that 18 century charm that absolutely nothing can match #and theres like seven eight of them so you literally see them have their happily sometimes not so happy aver after #seriously anne is like 50 in the last book #gosh i have a lot of feelings about anne with an e okey? #and i just identify with anne in like being the weirdo and the outsider and like people not talking to you because of it #and my few friends are awesome and fierce and my soulmates in every sense but romantic and i love them #and i have really strong family feels #(found family IS family fight me) #and....these tags are almost as long as the longass post itself #im sorry #but i hope you enojoyed the ride #god imma regret this in the mornig #okay byyyeeee #this is WAY more chaptic than i rememberd it being #but in my deffense #it IS a 2 am )improvement( of like 3 whole pages of 2 am notes #this is the kind of shit i post at 2 a