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strawbs-screaming · 7 months

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ITS....

MY BIRTHED DAY YIPPEE YAY YIPPEE HIP HİP HOORAY!!! ♡

and for that.. i bring you..

☆ the boxers planning a birthday party ☆

and for this special ocassion.. I will be posting my cringe writing!!!! Happy birthday to me!!!

Glass Joe

- 99% he was the one that baked the cake, he really didnt have a choice other than to go with the walmart cake

- doting on everything, the cake has to be the perfect flavor, the invitations have to be in the right font so its not too fancy but its not too bland, the decorations need to be cheery but not too childish, the presents need to be spot on with whatever they like but not too spot on because stalking people is not cool, generally organized

- on that last note, he can and will stalk your social media accounts to find out what you like and how you like it, you'll suddenly see that "baguettedude420" is following your Facebook account and "winethief21" is viewing your instagram story (and accidentally liked a post from 2016 uh oh)

- going all out like its your last birthday

Von Kaiser

- doing his best, hes not good at remembering dates so he usually celebrates it WAYYY too early or after a week, you'll see a "happy birthday!!" message from him a month after your actual birthday

- gets "generally liked" gifts if he doesnt know what you like including: perfume, merch of a band you might like, jeans and socks (kaiser you have bad taste)

- will buy a pre-made cake because baking is not his thing

- will not sing happy birthday, nuh uh hes not putting you through that

Disco Kid

- going all out like this is his last day on earth, you cant get him to directly ask you "what do you want for ur birthday" because he'd rather cartwheel off a cliff than do that, doing mental gymnastics to find out what you would like for your birthday, "oh so you like sharks?" He then proceeds to get you shark themed gifts (if you have a hyperfixation on something really specific this is a win for you)

- goes out of his way to make, decorate & throw edible glitter at a cake for you

- definitely asking your friends "what does this bitch like??" (not that exact question but still close) since he doesnt have the guts to ask you what you like without making it obvious he wants to get you something specific

-oversinging happy birthday

King Hippo

- rushing on the last day, the only thing that saved him was the reminder on his phone

- also stalks your social media accounts because he didnt have the time to think about what hes gonna get you, uh oh looks like "theking5262627" is following your instagram account

- his gifts are mostly food related, like baking? Heres a whisk, like cooking? Heres a apron & a pan, like fruit? Enjoy this Apple shaped mug

- bakes a gorgeous cake, if you dont like how it tastes he'll be heartbroken, so for now you'll have to suffer through the blueberry allergy or he'll be sad

Piston Hondo

- overdoing everything like Joe, this time its not limited to asking your friends & stalking your social media accounts, hes gonna contact your family & ask your siblings and parents like "i know that you dont know me but your childs birthday is coming up what do they like pls tell me im gonna get them a gift" and it usually ends in hondo being friends with your parents, hes gonna whip out the oujia board to contact your deceased relatives to ask what kind of cake you like, hes gonna to swim in your gene pool to find out what your favorite color is, hes gonna get info, one way or another

- He thinks more about your birthday than you do, planning this like his life depends on it

-makes sure the decorations fit your taste because nothings worse than a badly decorated birthday (other than a family argument ending in both sides cutting contact but my point stands)

- makes it obvious hes planning it, you could say something like "i think green is a really good color" And he would just start overthinking it like "so you like green??? Do you also like plants?? Nature??? Mint??"

Great Tiger

- He already knows what you want, what flavor of cake (or any other desert) you want since he stalked your social media accounts WAYYYY before this, what on earth made you think "thegreatestman11" was a normal account

- dont let him sing happy birthday (PLEASE) or he'll perform a entire choreography (am i spelling that correctly)

- baking and putting his soul into it, theres sweat, blood and tears in that cake (not in the literal sense hes not that nasty) but he did see the light halfway through decorating the cake

Bear Hugger

-going off vibes & what he knows and is pretty spot on, if he cant decide on a gift he'll make a Facebook account (not to stalk you this time) to abuse the data stealing algorithm and get you a funny t shirt, sorry but your legally a old man who skateboards, has a weird obsession with fire extinguishers and was born in august now enjoy your destiny

- cannot bake to save his life, if you told him to bake a simple cake or do a backflip off a building he'll happily take the plunge, for this reason he just gets Ms. Bear to help

- you will get at least one (1) camo themed object from him

Don Flamenco

- this fucking bastard, hes rushing the last day to get you a present from walmart, hes just grabbing objects he could see you looking at and going "This is ok i guess" And running, cake? He got it from a bakery since he was normal enough to get you a edible cake with a hint of care

- He just dissapears after 20 minutes from your party he has places to be and this is not one of those

Aran Ryan

- fucking hell. He gets you dumb t-shirts off aliexpress along with gag gifts since he doesnt have the energy to be sane, best case scenario he'll handcarve you a little cat made from wood if he cares enough

- worst cake ever, hes simply struggling, eating the cake he baked would cause you a stroke, 20 heart attacks, 98 diseases, 2 ancient curses and liver failure, he has to film a apology video now uh oh

Soda Popinski

- handmaking stuff for you, decorations? He made them all, gifts? He crochetted (im so not spelling that right), he knitted, he carved and baked (both a cake and clay)

- definitely came late but still came

- (forgive me for these becoming short im exhausted + this is a scheduled post)

Bald Bull

- definitely not coming because no one wants to get swarmed at their birthday, no way

- He wont even go through with getting you a gift, hes just gonna send you money because why struggle with thinking about a person when they can think about themselves??

- stalking your social media accounts (not even for your birthday, hes just a bit noisy)

Super Macho Man

- same case as Bull, sends you money & wont show up, except this time he also gets you gifts other than money, also stalking your accounts

- no cake but will go all out for your decorations

Mr Sandman

- actually sane, hes not overthinking it but hes not forgetting about it either, he'll get you stuff he thinks you would adore, hes not really spot on but hes doing his best

- needs help with the cake, Sandman please stop youre gonna burn the kitchen down and im sure this is the 2nd building you'll wreck if you dont stop

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ducktracy · 4 years

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155. picador porky (1937)

release date: february 27th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky), mel blanc (drunks), billy bletcher (bull)

while mel blanc provided porky’s shrieks in porky the wrestler, this is often considered his first role in a warner bros cartoon, or at least a role of substantial size. porky has also been considerably slimmer down. other directors such as ub iwerks and bob clampett would follow suit, with frank tashlin being the lone fat porky straggler. this is where i think looney tunes really start to shift in tone and truly become recognizably looney. porky gets refined, mel blanc puts his foot in the door... great things lie ahead! (and an interesting note—i’m using the porky pig 101 rip for quality, but the title card music is actually ripped from porky’s tire trouble. this is the beginning of many, many, MANY reuses... so get ready.) here, porky assumes the role of a toreador, hoping to win the cash prize with ease as his buddies promise to dress up as a bull and provide an even fight. however, when his buddies get into the bottle, porky finds himself fighting a REAL bull instead, and a cash prize seems none too likely.

the cartoon opens with an expositional foreword:

slumbering peacefully ‘neath the warm caresses of the noonday sun, lies the sleepy little village of la rosita. it presents a scene of serene quietude and beauty as its inhabitants enjoy their mid-day siesta preceding the annual bull-fight. the solitude is broken only by the occasional strains of a soft guitar.

tex does a wonderful job of painting the perfect setting that almost anyone can imagine (even if he does spell preceding as preceeding). and so, of course, it’s only right that the scene after the foreword completely defies every word. gunshots, shouting, people running amuck, a flurry of activity. this setup would be borrowed at the beginning of bob clampett’s naughty neighbors (which, funnily enough, also has the porky’s tire trouble music tacked onto it).

however, tex was right on the soft strains of the guitar: a mariachi band gets together to play “la cucaracha”. a variety of visual gags accompany the music, whether it be men head-butting each other, a man drying himself off with a towel, or a kid poking his head out of a pot carried by his mother, interjecting “swing it, mama, swing it!”, a man shaking a cocktail, you name it. there’s animation reused from a friz cartoon of a girl dancing with a cloth—i believe it may be from billboard frolics.

enter porky and his two mysteriously unnamed buddies, both sliding into view from opposite sides as they all approach the gate to the town. porky and co are nonplussed by the fervent celebration—we get a rolling pan of the action. gunshots, dancing, confetti, the works. a poster tacked up to a tree captures the audience’s attention:

TO-DAY

BULL FIGHT

1000 PESOS

TO THE

WINNER!

the camera then trucks out to reveal porky and his entourage staring at the poster. i was listening to mark kausler’s commentary on porky’s romance (which is coming up very soon, hooray! next porky cartoon!) and he mentioned how the camerawork could be a bit jittery and choppy on zoom outs such as these. the same applies here, the zoom out is a little jittery, but it’s a niche complaint. something i never would have thought to notice! porky signals for his buddies to bend down low, and he whispers an inaudible plan in their attentive ears.

fade out and in to a costume shop, where porky and co hurry inside. a few seconds later and out marches porky in a matador costume, a makeshift bull outfit marching behind, tail pompously raised in the air. topping the gag off, as if it wasn’t obvious, mel blanc provides his first coherent line of dialogue in a warner bros cartoon as the two buddies unmask themselves, reassuring the audience “it’s us!”

elsewhere, the stadium packs full to bursting with eager spectators, waiting to see the bullfight in action. some of the animation of the spectators streaming into the stadium would be reused as an overlay in porky & daffy. elsewhere, porky and his “bull” tiptoe into the back entrance, where they encounter the actual bull for the fight, pent up in a cage that reads “1st event”. the real bull mistakes the fake bull for a female, hearts pouring out as billy bletcher provides an “mmmmm-mmmm!” from the bull.

porky wheels the bull cage out of the way, fetching an empty cage for his buddies to hide out in until the fight. porky tends to his business, leaving his buddies alone, when a pesky bee flies into the cage. clever visuals of the guy in the bottom half trying to smack the bee, his hand clearly sticking out of the tail. the bee lands on the bull’s “butt”, to which the hand promptly smacks. though he hit himself in the process, the guy has successfully taken care of the bee, flicking it offscreen.

meanwhile, a bottle of alcohol catches the attention of the front half. carl stalling debuts his favorite drunken motif of “how dry i am” as the bull head opens up, buddy #1 taking a hearty gulp of the liquor. mel blanc works his magic as #1 wheezes and coughs, sputtering “hey, this is fine stuff!” buddy #2 pokes his head out of the butt and helps himself. wonderful animation as the alcohol settles in, #2 spinning and contorting the bull costume from the impact. he gives his seal of approval by slurring incomprehensibly.

the next scene has some wonderful animation paired with mel blanc’s hiccups. drunk #2 begins to hiccup, sinking back into the bull costume. what starts as a string of hiccups morphs into an uncontrollably frenzy, the bull’s back half rocketing up and down and flailing all over the place as the hiccups render drunk #2 (and #1) useless. eventually, the force of the hiccups is so strong that #2 lodges the entire bull outfit out of the cage, the cage now empty.

in the arena, a trumpeter blares out the beginning fanfare, and a number of miscellaneous doors—wooden, steel, even a safe—slide out of view, one by one, revealing the bullfighter’s entrance. this gag, paired with the same music, would be reused in porky in wackyland and later the remake, dough for the do-do. the gag would be reused to a similar degree in another one of tex’s shorts, northwest hounded police over at MGM. while the gag is funny as it is, even more amusing is that the doors open to reveal absolutely nothing. a beat, and then tiny little porky jumps out of a hidden door to the (our) right of the grand entrance, posing triumphantly. porky shakes his hands in the glory, eating up the applause.

back behind the scenes, a guard notices the bull is missing. he wheels away the cage, and spots the ACTUAL bull, wheeling the real bull back in its rightful place. another door gag as an assistant opens a heavyset door, pulling a string that reveals the door to be a curtain. the bull is riled up, snorting wildly. without any further hesitation, it zooms straight into the arena, spinning porky around in a whirlwind in the process.

porky, believing the bull is still his scamming buddies, whistles in awe and speaks out of the side of his mouth, “take it easy, boys! that was a little close!” with that, virgil ross animates a scene of porky doing magic tricks (i had thought this was bob clampett animation, seeing as he had such an affinity with magic, but the movements, shiny eyelids, and dimensional snout give it away as virgil), the bull running straight into porky‘s telltale cape. the animation is as wondrous as the magic trick to the spectators. porky turns the cloth inside and out—no bull. eventually, he shakes the cloth, and his bull plops out onto the ground. porky strikes a jubilant pose, with an angry bull glaring him down.

suddenly, porky whistles. “hey, caddy!” a man appears with a golf club bag full of toilet plungers. you know, the essentials. porky begins to attach the toilet plungers on the bull, one by one. the bull, enraged, shakes all of the plungers off except for one, that sticks to his butt. determined to get it off, the bull fights with himself, and in the midst of the struggle, the plunger gets stuck on his nose. he struggles to pull it off, but manages to do so, drastically elongating his snout in the process and giving a hilarious, squeaky whimper. the payoff is amusing with the visual, but this is definitely an instance where tex’s gags seemed to be randomly placed in with no merit. why was porky sticking the plungers on the bull in the first place? nevertheless, the bull, now more furious than ever, prepares to attack.

chuck jones is responsible for animating this GLORIOUS next scene. it’s one of my favorite scenes he’s ever animated. of the three specialties, two of them are included—closeups and drunks. dogs is his third, but i guess you could count these guys as dogs. regardless, porky’s hammered buddies suddenly burst into the arena, the bull costume ripped in half (and the owners of each half are switched). drunk #2 accompanies the vocal talents of drunk #1 singing la cucaracha. mel blanc’s vocals are absolutely HYSTERICAL. the hiccups, the slurring, the random YIPPEE! even better is watching drunk #1 get up in drunk #2’s face, completely expressionless (except for a drunken smile), the cow head occasionally concealing his head as it falls down and he props it back up. chuck’s movements are smooth, rubbery, and utterly hilarious. this is a great scene and the first time mel blanc truly shines for all to see.

elsewhere, porky’s still waving his little flag around, but pauses to admire the drunken music. suddenly, a revelation. he recognizes his drunks. he stares at the drunks, and then at the bull, prying open the furious bull’s mouth. sure enough, no pals of his are lodged down the bull’s throat. they’re over yonder singing a hammered rendition of la cucaracha.

mel provides porky’s “WOO!” of terror as he scrambles away. nice bit of a 4th wall break that unfortunately doesn’t realize maximum speed potential as porky runs across the borders of the screen, running up the sides and upside down, the bull hot on his tail. meanwhile, the time keeper (as his plaque labels in his stand) blows on a party streamer, a hammer popping out of the end and slamming on a bell.

porky and the bull freeze in their tracks, porky petrified with terror, so much so that two assistants have to physically pick him up from the ground and carry him off. the bull snaps in frustration and gives porky a promising glare of vengeance.

transition to a non-petrified porky gargling with some liquid and spitting it into a funnel with the guidance of his assistants. the bull goes through the same routine, and when the assistant points to the funnel, the bull grabs it and talks into it instead. “hello, mama! hello, papa! it’s great, fine. wish you were here!” even better is the bull’s contented smile at the end of the “call”. a genius gag that is enhanced by the deep vocals of billy bletcher.

the time keeper blows on his party streamer/hammer, and the hammer stops to whack the keeper in the head instead of the bell, a loud bell chime reverberating regardless. the chase resumes. bob clampett animates the next scene of porky sliding into the safe zone—i love porky’s giant satisfied, ecstatic grins as the bull waits patiently outside, humming (a scene clampett would incorporate in his own porky’s last stand, a mega-favorite of mine). in tex avery fashion, the bull defies all logic by lifting the painted lines off of the ground and towering over a terrified porky, who zooms out of sight.

porky’s drunken buddies notice the plight, and are at least sober enough to take action. #1 whispers in #2’s ear, and we see the fully formed bull (really a cow) costume hide behind a wooden barrier. an arm reaches out and grabs a baseball bat and a plank, calling “moooohoooooo!” (instead of “yoohoo!”) in a seductive catcall. the bull takes the bait, lumbering over to the barrier, where the drunks await with their weapons. even better than the typography zooming out of the scene as the fight ensues is mel blanc YELLING the onomatopoeia out loud, batman style. “bang! bam! bop! wham!” the action freezes. then more violence. finally, a victorious rendition of “the lady in red” as the costumed bull marches proudly out of the barrier, unscathed.

the disguise approaches porky, the head giving a befuddled porky a wink. then, the “bull” flops over on its back, tail straight up, a white flag of surrender waving triumphantly in the wind as porky is showered with applause, beaming and raising his sword.

just as porky’s about to collect his earnings, the REAL bull shakes himself to his senses. porky grabs the money bag from the judges, bowing as he twirls his hat victoriously in the air. the fake bull suddenly panics, zooming off screen. porky turns around to see a very angry, real, slightly bruised bull snorting heavily at him. porky shrugs it off, celebrating some more, until he realizes that That’s The Real Deal. mel blanc provides porky’s panicked HOOHOO!s as porky zooms out of the arena. a clever pause, and porky zips back to the bull, offering his money bag, and rocketing out of sight once more. iris out as the bull grumbles “well, imagine that!”—another catchphrase used from a previous tex cartoon, porky the rain-maker.

as i said before, this is the cartoon that really starts that looney feel to me. half of it is mel blanc’s prominence, the other half being porky’s slight redesign—he’d be even skinnier in tex’s next porky, porky’s duck hunt. this is a great cartoon for its time. tex’s gags are amusing—that setup with the whole “sleepy village which is actually a village in chaos” is just sublime. some gags made more sense than others. while the joke was supposed to be the visual of the bull’s elongated snout, porky covering the bull in toilet plungers felt too incongruous and didn’t really fit in. funny, but kinda just floating there. porky’s duck hunt suffers the same fate with the gag of daffy swallowing an electric eel—very funny, but has nothing to do with any of the adjacent scenes. regardless, you need to see this one. mel’s drunken rendition of la cucaracha is certainly the highlight, but there are a lot of fun gags elsewhere. very high energy, very fun, very feel good. give it a go!

link!

#lt #picador porky #reviews #looney tunes #long post #avery #alcohol tw

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celticnoise · 4 years

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CELTIC faced nine games in a frantic four-week spell in December – and something had to give.

Unfortunately, that ‘something’ turned out to be the Hoops’ first defeat in the east end of Glasgow for nine years from a side from Ibrox – but, at least, it was balanced by a Betfred League Final triumph over the same opponents at Hampden three weeks earlier when Christopher Jullien claimed the encounter’s only goal.

Neil Lennon’s side won their other six Premiership tussles, but went down 2-0 to Cluj in their remaining Europa League Group B tie in Romania when it didn’t matter after sealing their position at the top two games earlier.

HIGHLAND FLING…Celtic players congratulate Ryan Christie after the opening goal in the 4-1 win at Ross County.

The month got off to a winning start when Ryan Christie (2), Tom Rogic and Mikey Johnston struck in the 4-1 success over Ross County in Dingwall. That was followed by the nail-biting climax to the visit of Hamilton Accies where skipper Scott Brown squeezed in a stoppage-time winner in a 2-1 victory. The Hampden triumph over Steven Gerrard’s outfit was next on the agenda before a much-changed team lost to Dan Petrescu’s side on their travels.

The champions picked up the pace again with a 2-0 win over Hibs at Parkhead with Odsonne Edouard and Jeremie Frimpong on target and it was capital punishment again when the visitors overcame Hearts at Tynecastle by the same scoreline thanks to strikes from Christie and Olivier Ntcham.

The march towards the ninth successive title continued with a 2-1 victory over Aberdeen with Jullien and Odsonne Edouard making it a striking French double-act and the following midweek saw a hard-fought 2-1 success over St Mirren in Paisley with Callum McGregor and James Forrest taking care of business.

Then came the stutter in the derby, but Celtic still went into the winter break a point ahead of their nearest challengers.

CQN‘s intrepid lensmen were there to capture the action. Here is the pick of the pics.

THAT WINNING FEELING…Mikey Johnston celebrates the fourth goal with the travelling fans in Dingwall.

HOOP HOOP HOORAY…Scott Brown is joined by Ryan Christie, Jeremie Frimpong and Callum McGregor as he celebrates his late winner against Accies.

JINKING JEREMIE…exciting Hoops talent Jeremie Frimpong attacks the Hibs rearguard.

BHOY OH BHOY…Jeremie Frimpong celebrates his first goal at Parkhead against the Easter Road side.

UNDER CONTROL…Odsonne Edouard menaces the Hibs defence.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H…Fraser Forster leaps high to clear a dangerous cross with a little help from Christopher Jullien in the match at Tynecastle. Hearts striker Steven MacLean gets a close-up view of the action.

BY THE LEFT…Ryan Christie sweeps in the opener against Hearts.

DELIGHT AND DESPAIR…scorer Olivier Ntcham races to Odsonne Edouard who had set up the chance for the second goal. Hearts defender Christophe Berra isn’t quite in sync with their emotions.

THREE CHEERS…James Forrest, Olivier Ntcham and Odsonne Edouard are delighted – and another three points are heading for Parkhead.

ON THE RUN…Jeremie Frimpong races away from a Hearts defender as Celtic continue to attack.

NET PROFIT…Aberdeen keeper Joe Lewis can’t keep Christopher Jullien’s effort from crossing the line as Scott Brown and Lewis Ferguson get a good view.

BEST FOOT FORWARD…Odsonne Edouard slides in the winner with Shay Logan too late to intervene.

CELEBRATIONS…Odsonne Edouard takes the acclaim with Mikey Johnston joining in.

SLIDE IN TIME…James Forrest shows his composure as he knocks the ball into the St Mirren net.

YIPPEE…James Forrest is an image of triumph as he celebrates in Paisley.

TWO INTO ONE…Ryan Christie and Jeremie Frimpong team up to win possession.

HIGH AND MIGHTY…Christopher Jullien gets in a powerful header, but is just off target as the Saints defence breathes a sigh of relief.

WING AND A SLAYER…Jeremie Frimpong takes on Ryan Jack.

TRUE GRIT…Callum McGregor races away from James Tavernier.

JOY BHOY…Callum McGregor celebrates Odsonne Edouard’s equaliser.

INSIDE MAN…Ryan Christie turns away from Nicola Katic.

TOUCHLINE ADVICE…Neil Lennon watches as the match unfolds.

FAREWELL TO 2019…the Celtic players applaud the supporters for their backing throughout the year at the conclusion of the derby.

TOMORROW: The best in words and pics from January 2020.

https://ift.tt/2UToZrg

#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #CelticQuickNews

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