#i aint dying before his bday so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wierdaesthetic · 7 months

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How I think cod men smell like naturally their body. (hate dni)

so I have this thing called synesthics with basically causes my brain to use more than one sence when triggered for example I can smell pictures, I know it sounds weird but when ever I look at pic of smth or someone my brain makes up what it/they would smell like. (And to my suprice its pretty accurate)

1. ghost

I am 100% he wears Axe body spray in the purple blue scent, and not because its named Marine (haha). Yeah so his notes are axe spray, hormones(the sweet pinappley ones, not the gross just hit puberty boy type) and I think rust for some reason like he was in a mechanical work space. 2. Konig

Now this bitch confuses me as shit. I think he smells like medical equiment but at the same time I think he smells like nothing, netrual. I dont know he has a minty tone tho. So he probs just has amazing heigyne and doesn't over fragrance himself.

3. Price He smells like tobacco Malboro, I bet my ass on that. But I would know cause I smoke more than him (he is 40+ I am beraly 20). But he also smell alchooly BUT BEFORE YOU SAY I AM STEREOTYPING!! I mean like fragrance type alchool, most notably after shave type of scent. Like spicy cinamon but in a more masculine way. 4. Soap

Before yall hoes come for me, sHe pRobS gOinG tO sAy He SmElLs LikE SoAp, NO BITCH. Like I said I aint stereotyping shit today. HE SMELLS LIKE A PHEREMONENAL SLUT not because he is my favourite but because he always sweaty in the game. But I dont think his sweat smells bad honestly, first of all let me let yall in a little secret ... if you exersice, eat heathly and let out sweat (you know ;) ;)) YOUR SWEAT DOESN'T SMELL!! In the best case senario it is even plesant. At the bear minimum he smells like a basic cologe that his ex or ghost bought him for his bday.

5. Gaz

Let me tell you hoes something. BLACK MEN KNOW HOW TO NOTE AND COMPLIMENT THEIR SCENT!! Did you read that or do I need to repeat it. He smells like vanilla, cocunut, sol de janero REALNESS. He has scented moisteraiser every where in his car, in bag, on a keychain, in his mulitary bag EVERYWHERE, I bet you he has one between his cheeks so he can use it mids war. (I AM DYING) 6. Alejandro

Now hear me when I say, I know he smells feminine. Which is not bad at all but I feel like his stuff is florally scented or fruit or something like that, but at the same time I fear he smells like my boy bff cause they have so similar vibes (I HOPE NOT). But also he smell of tattoo shop YEAH THATS IT. He smells exactly like green disinfectant soap with rose peals infusion, exactly that and if you dont know what I am talking about just imagine dentist office smell + roses.

7. Alex Keller

Oh I know he smells good, naturally and when it comes to fragrance. I just feel it in my bones. He smells like oils, honey and anything in that area. I just know he drenches himself in jojoba oil and l know he loves dior. Like thats it, he is an expencive smelling man.

8. Rudy

I mean, he confuses me. I think he is mixure of hormones (again not the disguasting) and expencive parfum. I think he smells "manly", it sounds weird I know. I KNOW! He smells like salty caramel but the sticky type that you can also eat as a chewing gum, if you are from europe you especially from the slavic or balkan area you know exactly what I am talking about.

9. Nikto

To me he smells like home and I bet my ass on that if he was real I would say that as soon as I would met him but I bet most of yall have no idea what I am talking about unless you are slavic. Well he smells like beer but not the alchooly type but the softer type also he smells like grass, nature and wood. Also he smells like tobacco NOT SMOKE but the plant.

10. Keegan

MINT. MINT. MINT. I know this man smells like a colgate ad, I can feel it. He smells exactly how water tastes after you brush your teeth. He smells also like rain but thats a small note, mostly MINT and fresh. If you are afab or use ph balance wash HE SMELLS LIKE THAT.

(no I wont do philip FUCK HIM, unless yall really want it)

Just a bit of my delulu for anyone that caress I CAN SMELL KONIG RIGHT NOW WTF, AS IF HE IS IN FRONT OF ME. It so weird help.

#cod men #call of duty #simp posting #konig #ghost #vent

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adambstingus · 6 years

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Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

I read your advice like its my life and you always seem to know what to do. I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over a month and our relationship is exclusive hookup/borderline dating — we’ve been out on one official date and have spent a lot of time together. His bday is coming up super soon and I have NO IDEA what to get him. I really want it to work out between us (i.e. don’t want there to be any pressure because that does more harm than good) and don’t want to get the wrong thing and disappoint him/freak him out. I also don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard but want to make sure I show the right amount of effort. He knows I like him but I’ve never actually told him that. He is super generous to me and I don’t want him to see what I give him as me being cheap. Do I go for the sexy or sweet? What should be my budget? More importantly, given our current stage in the relationship what is the most appropriate gift to give? Plz help, I’m dying here.

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Man, birthdays are really fucking weird, when you think about it. They make sense for children — kids are dumb and dont accomplish anything and thus are largely (and rightly) ignored, so its nice to let them have a special day once in a while. But as adults? Its like, Congratulations, you made it another 365 days in a first-world country without dying! Lets all go out to an annoying group dinner (split checks plz). Adding sex to the equation makes it even weirder — My vagina is available to you on demand, but how about I get you something youd ACTUALLY like?

I dont think the needlessly delicate nature of your relationship matters (as an aside, if youre hanging out and fucking on the reg and yet you think telling him you like him will torpedo the relationship, stop and think for a minute about what that says about him). It should be somewhat personal, and should reflect the fact that youre in an intimate relationship — an Applebees gift card aint gonna cut it, not that it ever does. As for budget, that depends on where you are in life. If youre broke-ass college students, Id say keep it under $50. If youre real adults, keep it under $100.

My vote is a nice bottle of booze, his favorite if youre privy to that information. If youre in college, replace nice bottle of booze with a case of beer thats not Natty Light. A girl I was dating in college got me one of those once (Miller High Life — THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED TEARS), and it was at least two weeks before I dumped her and started fucking someone else. Otherwise, get him a bottle of scotch, actually go out for dinner, and maybe let him touch your butthole or something.

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

I recently moved to a new city where I didn’t previously know anyone for grad school. I’ve made some good friends at school, but its been pretty boring (read: nonexistent) on the guy front and I don’t want to shit where I eat since 1. grad school is basically high school all over again and the rumor mill is an active one, and 2. I spend enough fucking time with these people and it would be nice to date someone outside the bubble.

Any tips on how to meet people thats not a blackout at a bar situation or on a dating app? I’m also super busy with school so it’s not like I’ve got plenty of time to dedicate, but I’m going a little crazy from boredom so I need some sort of remedy. Help me with your infinite wisdom!

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

Christ, what grad school do you go to where its basically high school? If thats the case, can we all stop putting on airs and and accept grad school for the tremendous time- and money-suck that it is (unless you intend to add a PhD to the end of your name, that is)? This is the endgame of the stupid educational arms race were experiencing, where every mouth-breathing townie feels like they have to have an advanced degree to qualify for a job as a bank teller. There are still ditches that need to be dug, yknow?

Anyway, Im a little baffled as to how youre unable to meet people on a college campus in a major city. If I found myself in that situation, I would literally die from sexual exhaustion, and probably flunk out of my Masters in Organic Social Community Building. WORTH IT. Youre also doing that fun thing where you expressly state that you arent interested in taking advantage of the convenient resources that most people appreciate (i.e., bars, dating apps and your social circle). Thats like saying I dont believe in killing animals and I dont like the taste of meat, but I want a hamburger — please advise.

Since Im assuming youre on or near campus, there are probably about 1,000 groups, clubs and activities you could get involved in. There are also recreational and intramural sports, if youre the sporting type. Unfortunately, anything like that is going to demand some of your time (which youll have plenty of after your first year, if you dont already), but again youre sour on the resources that dont. What do you do for fun? Do you paint? Jog? Write? Yoga? Act out erotic Scream Queens fan fiction in your living room? Whatever it is youre into, I guarantee theres a like-minded group of students (both grad and undergrad) who are into the same things.

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172055697002

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

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Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/

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from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/20/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/

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allofbeercom · 6 years

Text

Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/

0 notes