#i could try to write a cohesive caption but im tired and sad so messy notes in the tags it is

[ardentpoop]

#i could try to write a cohesive caption but im tired and sad so messy notes in the tags it is #spn #liveblog tag #12.22 #it shouldnt have felt like such a weight off to hear dean recount how much pain sam's experienced like this but it was #saying ''he lost his soul'' like it was indeed something awful that happened To him as opposed to a ''mistake'' he made #< which is how he's brought it up to sam himself in past seasons #funny that it seems he's only able to acknowledge sam's suffering when sam isn't present. moreover - only when dean's suffering is #centered as well. inextricable from sam's bc of their shared upbringing #and only when there is a more culpable figure to bear the brunt of dean's feelings (often john and now for the first time mary) #she was dragged back to earth as a gift For You. she doesn't fit and the family she knew is gone and you have an idea of her in your head #that she will never be able to mirror in real life bc that mary never existed #and she's been tortured and brainwashed into killing people she knows and she's trapped in her own mind trying to seek solace in #a happy memory - a vestige of heaven which is a vestige of life #and she has no choice but to listen as you rip into her heart for choices that she already hates herself for #sam/mary parallels holding strong but as always sam got the short end of the stick #anyway. ow :) #tag vomit