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#i don't know who's more stupid‚ queue or the hick
deputy-buck · 3 months
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fakemouthstatics · 5 years
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Michael & Maria + Sweet Home New Mexico
Two ten year olds were running in the desert during a storm, a first kiss that left them figuratively and literally struck by lightning. A kiss that lead them to a wedding at 18, with a groom half drunk and a wife attending her reception by herself with puke down her dress while he slept it off.
They were so in love but too stupid to know what to do with it.
(•••)
7 years later
Micheal stepped out on his porch to see what his dog was barking about, what he saw was the last person he thought he would ever see, causing him to drop the truck part he was working on.
"Shit" he mumbled under his breath. She was still as beautiful as the day she left him.
"Stop staring and get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce" Maria said already annoyed by his presence.
"You show up here after seven years without so much as a "Hey there Micheal, remember me your wife" or a "Hi Honey! Looking good"
Maria stands there taking in his handsome face covered in grime and grease "You expect me to tell you you look good? What, they run out of soap at Walmart since I left?" Wiping the smirk off Michael's face.
He turns to walk back into the house. "What are you doing?" She yells. "Leaving. You should recognize the gesture" Michael says as the screen door shuts.
Maria let's out a huff and stomps up the porch steps "Michael! You dumb, stubborn redneck hick! The only reason you wont sign these papers is because I want you to." Micheal swings back around "Wrong! The only reason I ain't signing them is because you turned into some hoity-toity LA bitch, and I like nothing better to do right now than to piss you off!" He says as he slams the door.
Maria rolls her eyes and starts off to get the spare key.
(•••)
Maria is sitting on the couch pissed as Michael sits on the barstool drinking a beer, all of a sudden he starts laughing as he goes for the door.
Maria then notices the blue and red lights reflecting off the house. "You called the Sheriff! You know Valenti hates me" she hurries to find a place to hide but a voice stops her in her tracks.
"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in" Maria turns with a smile and runs into the arms of Max Evan's as he spins her around in a hug that she has desperately missed these past seven years. "Oh Alanis we missed you around here" Max says as he release her. "Max, I can believe you're the Sheriff now" She has missed her brother in law so much.
"Yup. Get to frisk pretty things like you all day, and get paid for it" He says with a laugh "Just don't tell Liz I said that" He winks.
Michael decides it's time to break this reunion up "Alright Maxwell, let's be a little more professional, we have a crime suspect here". Max turns to Maria putting on a stern face "Now Maria you can't be breaking into peoples houses" He tries to lead her out but she starts walking to her purse "I didn't break in, I used my key" she says holding it up. "Well, it's still not your house"
Micheal wears a triumphant smile "Use the cuffs Max, please". Again before Max can lead her away she goes back to her purse "If you get him to sign these, I'll let you run me out of town." She says with a devilish smirk that if he wasn't so ass backwards in love with Liz, he would be a goner for.
"That's none of your business" Michael says as he tries to take the papers but Max beats him to it. "Divorce papers? I though you said you took care of this Michael." Max plays along for Michael's benefit knowing full well he hasn't taken care of it. "I thought I had" Michael stammers. "Well, since you are still married this is her house too and nothing I can do, I'll let y'all catch up" Max proceeds to walk out the door as Michael starts at him "I suppose shoplifting steaks from Walmart is okay" Maria runs behind Micheal "OH! I took them back and you know it!" she points at him.
Max continues to the door and Michael tries again "You remember that vandalism in the stockyard? Totally her." Maria scoffs at him "Like I could tip a cow, by myself." Max finally makes it to the door laughing under his breath as Michael makes a final attempt.
"Max. Isn't there an outstanding warrant for the person who dumped your jeep in the fish pond" Max stops in his tracks and Maria let's out a huge betrayed gasp.
Ha. Got her.
(•••)
After a day of cleaning out their joint account and making Michael crazy by sprucing up the place and acting like a wife, she finally got him to sit down to sign the papers, but there were a couple questions on her mind that she needed the answers to.
"What are you doing with all that cash? And since when did you quit Sanders? You're not doing anything illegal, are you, Michael?"
"Maybe I am. So what? I don't ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life, deal?" He looked up at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes.
"Who told you?"
"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid." He looks back down at the papers saying softly "Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old."
Maria feels like she got punched in the gut. "Yeah I guess not" she looks down at her feet. She walks over to the mantel looking at the pictures of her truck that Michael restored for her when they were 16. "I saw it in the garage when I first got here, I can't believe you kept it"
Michael looks up at her and he has never seen a more beautiful person in his life. Right then he decides he needs more time, he can't lose her again.
He looks down at his phone "Oh, hey Maria, you know what? I just remembered I have a date tonight" He stands up "You don't mind if I have my lawyer look at this right?"
"What!?" She let's out. How is it that this man can get her so riled up in 2 seconds flat.
"I'm just a simple country boy, there's words in there I can't even pronounce" He walks back to the bedroom when he hollers out "Thanks for stopping by"
Maria is beside herself and all she can do is release a breathe of frustration and stomp out of the house.
(•••)
After crashing Michael's date (which was NOT out of jealousy) with a really nice guy named Alex and making a complete ass of herself in front of all her friends she wakes up with a hangover and divorced papers signed on every line, every I doted.
This is what she wants, this is what she came home for. Then why does she feel so hollow?
Maria climbs up to the top of the Crashdown Cafe to finish her apology tour. Liz is already there hands resting on a rounded belly. Maria's heart aches at the sight, for joy for her friends and sorrow for what she lost at 18.
Liz looks up at her approaching and just like that Maria's let's it all out, neverending flow of tears as Liz pulls her down into her arms "I'm so sorry I left." Liz sushes her with "I know" with so much more understanding than she deserves.
With the tears and apologies out of the way Liz let's something slip in hopes that it will help heal her broken friends.
"He went out to California"
Maria is stunned.
"A year after you left. Michael doesn't know I know, Max let it slip one night. He told him he hadn't seen anything like it, saw how happy you were singing on stage, he knew right then he would need more than an apology to win you back."
Maria was still speechless. More tears were building in her eyes as Liz continued.
"He needed to concour the world first, hes been trying ever since."
"That's why he kept sending back the papers" she said with realization. Liz nodded.
"He went back to UNM and graduated at the top of his class. He's started restoring old trucks and selling them all over the country"
So that explains all the money she thought to herself. Michael was finally becoming the man she always knew he could be.
(•••)
"Thought I'd find you out here"
Michael turned his head to the voice as she joined him on the bed of his truck.
"Still love watching the storms roll in, some things never change" she said as she bumped him with her shoulder.
The two of them just watched the sky in the middle of the desert as the storm rolled in.
"Can't get a view like this out in California can ya Deluca?" He asked still looking out at the horizon unaware of her looking at him not the sky as she replied "No, you can't"
A moment goes by before she speaks again "Ever wonder what would have happened, if" Michael cut her off "We hadn't have gotten pregnant?" Maria nods her head. Michael takes a swig of his beer as he gets his thought together.
"I thought that baby would be an adventure. And it took me a while to realize, it would have been your only adventure. I wanted so much more for your life than to be stapped down with a kid and a husband going nowhere at the age of 18. So I didn't fight you when you left." Maria could see the tears in his eyes.
"I just needed a different life, after we lost the baby, I was just in so much pain" Maria said wanting him to know that she didn't leave because of anything he did.
"You done real well for yourself. I'm proud of you, Maria". He stopped her from saying more. Michael finally turned to look at her and rested his hand on her cheek wiping away a tear.
"I'm just sorry I never danced with you at our wedding, I'm sure this next one's gonna go better for ya."
Maria couldn't take it anymore and brought her lips to his and poured all her emotions into the kiss, hurt, sorrow, love. Michael started kissing back just as much as she was but he was about to do the hardest thing he ever had to do, he pulled back.
"Maria, you have a fiancee, you need to go" Maria pulled back feeling rejection and shame and without a word hopped off the truck and ran to her car.
(•••)
What do you do when you fiancee shows up and promises to give you the life you always dreamed of?
You plan a wedding.
Walking down the aisle and this should be the happiest day of your life but you know this is not right. As if on queue you see your lawyer running down the aisle and you tell him Michael signed the papers and yes that is true but you didn't.
Knowing you can't marry this man you tell him you gave your heart away a long time ago and never got it back.
You tell your friends and family to stick around your going to go find yourself a groom.
(•••)
It's raining when she gets to his garage Liz told her he owns. He's under the truck in the open bay when he hears Maria say
"Hey Cowboy, you owe me a dance"
He gets up and meets her out in the rain, the water making his curls she loves so much disappear.
"Nice dress, where's your husband?"
"I'm looking at him, apparently you and I are still married"
Michael can't say anything hes blown away with how gorgeous she looks in that dress soaking wet. What she says next makes him want to kill Max.
"Why didn't you tell me you came to see me in California?"
"I had to make something of myself."
"You about done?" She throws at him.
"What is it about you girls? You can't make the right decisions til you tried all the wrong ones?"
"At least I fight for what I want." Not backing down.
"Oh, what do you want, Maria? I don't even think you know."
"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Michael and I want you to be the last."
"Maybe you and I had our chance." He says as he starts to walk away from her.
"Fine! Have it your way, you stubborn ass!" She says running after him. Michael finally stops and turns around.
"Why do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?" Maria walks over to him and puts her hands on both his cheeks.
"So I can kiss you any time I want."
Michael can't hold it in anymore and pulls her into an earth shattering kiss that makes them feel like their world snapped back into place. Michael releases her and whispers
"I love you so much"
"Baby, you have no idea how much I love you too" Michael pulls her back into him.
Eventually they make it to the reception and finally have their first dance.
Michael has never been so happy, until one night three months later when they're cuddled up by the fireplace and Maria whispers the words "I'm pregnant"
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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shhh, let him rest; he's had a hard enough life.
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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                                                                     "That's top secret, by the way."
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  "I'll take it to my grave."
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deputy-buck · 4 months
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(screencaps by @corkyviolet x x x)
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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Treat him like a God and he'll blind you like religion.
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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(Fellow Travelers 1x03 Hit Me / Vincent Van Gogh)
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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                                                    "Then we jacked off together by the fire."
"All boys do that. Normal men grow out of it."
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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Frankie Hines - Fellow Travelers 1x02: Bulletproof
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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"Nice story." "You read my paper?" "Drag Queens can read."
Fellow Travelers 1x02: Bulletproof
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deputy-buck · 5 months
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“The Marine Recon Mission Essential List, that group of skills deemed vital to the job, fills a book. Patrolling, navigation, calling in air strikes, communications, parachuting, diving, shooting, swimming, driving boats, hand-to-hand combat, and so on, seemingly without end. Medical training tended to fall through the cracks, with mock casualties fairy-dusted back to life before they seriously impeded other objectives on any training exercise. I was lucky to have a corpsman who refused to accept that. Doc Bryan was a Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman, or SARC, one of the most highly trained field medics in the U.S. military.
After joining the platoon a few months before deploying to the Middle East, he’d drilled each man on basic trauma care. In Kuwait, he’d put together blowout kits for the whole platoon. The kits contained the essentials to keep a wounded Marine alive - saline IV bags, battle dressings, and QuikClot, a chemical compound to cauterize arterial bleeds. He’d also led the platoon in making tourniquets, to be worn loosely around the neck for easy access, and threatened to pummel any man caught without his. Doc’s final contribution was not material but tactical. He stressed that the job of any Marine wounded in a firefight was to keep shooting until his team or the platoon was out of danger. Wounded men don’t have the luxury of giving up the fight. Doc Bryan’s gifts became real on the road outside Muwaffiqiya.“
- Nate Fick, One Bullet Away. (p. 269)
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deputy-buck · 3 months
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deputy-buck · 7 months
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Lipton: you’re jealous?
Speirs: me? Jealous? Over you?
Speirs: Absolutely I am, you’re mine.
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deputy-buck · 5 months
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“We walked down the fabled Streets of Processions, past the basalt Lion of Babylon, and across the stage on which Alexander is rumored to have died. Colbert slid next to me and marveled that, in only two years, we had followed two of Alexander’s most fabled campaigns - across Afghanistan and Iraq.
“Somehow I doubt I’ll be remembered as ‘Brad the Great,’” he said.“
- Nate Fick, One Bullet Away. (p. 356)
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deputy-buck · 5 months
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hey!!!! when you wish to, could you cast mutuals and hbowar fandom as different characters in bob or tp? like which mutuals remind you of which characters? no pressure btw!!!!!!
I don't have many mutuals (my fault entirely, I should be more personable, sorry for that) but the few I do have, here! Also, I'm adding Gen Kill characters in here too bc even though it's the ugly middle child, it's still part of the family!
@merriell-allesandro-shelton Would be Snafu OF COURSE, not only because he's her favorite, but because they are surprisingly similar??? The chaotic privacy they both embody is honestly so charming, love that for them both! The ideas that come from her head are Spectacular.
@ableedingpen Is very much Ray Person to me. Very creative and Extremely good with words! They could be a published author (idk if they are but to me they should be) if they wanted to, and would have a lot of success in that field. There's an unapologetic air to them as well that I appreciate, like yeah this is me and I'll be fully honest with you about it, take it or leave it.
@military-bluebells Doc Roe. 100% Doc Roe right here. Kind, caring, personable, yet kinda quiet. They're always a welcome figure on my dash and in my notes/askbox! I love their approach of fic writing as well, much like Doc, it's about the outcome of their work and not stressing about it too much, Doc gives me those vibes and so do they.
@caffeinated-fan Garza. Honestly??? Bill Layden. They give Fuck You vibes in the best way possible. Stupid question? Stupid answer. False accusation? Go ahead and think that way, it just makes you look stupid. They seem like they'd tear you a new one for disrespecting their friends though, which is Bill-Coded.
(I'm not sure about anyone's pronouns other than Mar's, sorry!)
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