#i feel like im never not going to be uoset

[its-anarchy-asshole]

I'm so fucking tired.

#lily brought up 'breaking up' #that took me way off guard #i didnt even think of that #i dont want that #i cant do that #im just #i cant stand being fucking lied to #i cant stand this #should i be greatful #am i just an unreasonable dick for not being greatful #because im not im fucking upset #i feel like im never not going to be uoset #im fucking hurt #'its not about you right now' the whole goddamn fucking thing is because of me #its kind of about me thats the fucking problem

[29121996]

.

#i gotta talk to her or else im just gonna cut her off #bc i know this is my own fault reflected back to me . n i am g9nna changw tbat so i dont do that again #but fucksake. #thw more i think abt my relatioship w her the more i k8nda jeep coming to the 'i dont wanna do this? i wanna create distance bwtween us' #conclusion . bc its not that shea a bad person #but every so often we go out of sync n keeping close contact w her ruins my progress sometimes #like . how do u never listen to me . and when YOU upset me i end up conforting YOU bc you #fucked uo and uoset me. but now its on me to comfort you even tho???? #or see me going through some shit n then immediatwly assume im pissed at you or that it has anything to do with you #when it fuck8ng d9esnt. NOW it does bc youve pissed me off. but you dont fucking talk to me for days on end #over somethinh so trivual that doesnt even CONCERN YOU. and then come at mw as if im mad at you. #like . its not always abt you !!! for fucksake its not always abt you !!!!! #all ive done is analyse and pull apart every inch 9f myself and my life since november #and im getting more and more annoyed at the people and things and situations in my life. #bx ive created half of them n now i have to change them. but even the shit i didnt create i still gotta . fix #idk all of this isbt easy and im so tired od fixing myswlf and fixing my life #am sick 9f my own mentality. n yes im trying to change yhat. but it feels like im getting NOWEHRE with it

[foliageprincess]

.

#i get so temoted to message him but i cant #it’s hust like a burning feeling that i need to #and i canr stop thinkint qhout how i had seen us always sticking togetber and j thought he did too but i was wrong #im never fojnf to stop being uoset over it #and then i find out the things he did behind my back and it just hurts so bad bevayse i cant even talk about it or ask about it #and hes still the first oerson i want to talk to #whatever i guess #ill feel better later #i just reallt dont het it and i get so caught up in wanting tontalk and having questions and loving him #im so emo #but hes happier now so im not going to bother him #and hes just gonna forget #but what can yiu do #all tearing up again now

[papasbabymommyslittleone]

Hey Vee. U seem a bit down so just remember that ur awesome! People make mistakes and it's okay and that doesnt always mean someone is gonna be mad at you for it. Especially if ur doing something so thoughtful that you know theyre going to enjoy! So to cheer you up a bit lemme tell u about a new stuffie I got! It's a panda in a banana peel and you can pull it out and then put it back in and wrap it up in the banana like a lil baby.

hm... m it jus it feels like im jus desperately tryin to make up for how bad i messd up and i shoukdntv messd up in the first place i i never like when ppl yell at me and no one in the family does but but then i yelled at ro ! and thats just mean and bad and he was uoset and i was just angry and thats so bad i just .. i wish i was as good as ro at bein a good brother

o but that sounds rly cute,, u put the softie in a nana? and u wrap them like a baby ah thas cute , - 💜

#.. i wana be a softie nana baby now #baby vee #asks #tumblebee the smol bean #14 dec

[heavy--heartedd]

i cant believe im fuckinh usinh this again. i guess that means tjings must be bad again. i feel like i can't breathe. every time i remember it i fuckinh lose my breath and feel like im ablut to throw up. im never going to be able to deal witj this. im so heaerbroken and seeing all the videos and pictured just makes me even more upset and im so fucking stioid i cant believe that i didnt fuckicbg plan more!!!!!! why didnt i get a job oh mu g id im so fucking stupid !!!!! i should jave gotten a job!!!!!! im literally going tolillcmyself but honedtly that probably wouldnt jave helped they didnt want me because i was an awful tic snf this is all my fault oh my god years down the road im so sure that this will uoset me still and that really makes me wanna fuckinh lill maeself and i fant even tell anyone about tjis because it just sounds so fuckinh stuoid like rhere is literally no one that i can talk to about tjis fu k fuck

[29121996]

im in shambles

#wpuld like to update ysll on the fact that my ex and i are officually done bc he did amth unforgiveable #and the fact i was so torn up between staying w him even tho he . did The One Thing i asked him to never do #when really i didnt even have yo stay and forgive him for it. #but i DID bc i wanted to try n get over that lol (dumb decision bc all it did was stress me out) #anyway i went off at him and uoset him #like pissrd him off and almost made him cry bc of yhw shit i was saying #im not proud of it ngl. i feel kinda yerrible for it. but in the same breath. #id also reached my limit for All Of It and had Enough lol #so i dont wanna go back to him . maybe nwver #idk jurys still out on that #but fkr now #im back to teyibg to get libra back intocmy life #and idk whethet yo mssg him or just wait a little . #jury is still out on that too #so far i feel like i have to mssg him . #we matchee on tinder yesterday. like 20mins apart of swiping #so . thsts a good sigb? right?