#am i just an unreasonable dick for not being greatful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redjaybathood · 2 years

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Jason killing for any bat. Jason killing anyone, for any reason because they hurt a bat. Jason being called in to help deal with a batfam because batfam killed someone and they can't handle it.

I hate it when Jason is shown tracking down Dick or any batfsm's rapist to kill them. Not because I think Jason wouldn't, but because I think he shouldn't. Either the batfam will appreciate it or they won't. If they do, they're hypocrites and if they don't, it's more proof of why Jason is a criminal and no better than the people he kills. At least to them.

As for the helping a bat who killed a person deal, there's usually no prior setting that they batfam have accepted that Jason is a person who will kill certain people. But the moment his history as a murderer has use, they want to exploit it. Not to mention, Jason has never accidentally killed anyone before (except if you count the dude with the immunity. Forgot his name. But I don't count him), which is what happens in the fics I've seen. Every person Jason has killed was meticulously planned. How he deals with that is not the same with how someone deals with an accident that results in a dead henchman.

Jason killing for any bat. Jason killing anyone, for any reason because they hurt a bat. Jason being called in to help deal with a batfam because batfam killed someone and they can't handle it.

At first I considered it a prompt, and I was like, which Bat? Because damn, so many great choices here. As you might have gathered, I love this trope.

In general, why I personally don't find anything wrong with Jason killing someone for someone else... It's based in canon. Not my favorite bit of canon, but it is what it is.

1) Gotham Knights flashback issue - Jason shoots harpoon into the raised hand of a smuggler who's on the brink of killing Barbara. Later, he explains it as "if you get one of us, you're gonna get it" or something like that - I have an exact quote here somewhere but too lazy to look up.

2) Under the Red Hood - "If it had been you he beat to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world, I would've done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil death-worshiping garbage and sent him off to Hell!"

3) Task Force Z - yeeting Bane off the roof bc of Alfred.

4) And we need to talk about what happened with Garzonas, and what might have happened with Robbie, and what actually moves Jason here.

This last one is going to be a headcanon, and contradictory to the popular fanon for Jason, and also includes Jason's "always been a killer" characterization from Urban Legends my beloathed - but I'm just illustrating why Jason killing for someone he loves is something that can work.

Old canon: Jason isn't an unreasonable guy. When it comes to personal revenge for him for the first time, it's Two-Face who placed a hit on Willis Todd after Willis went to prison. Two important factors here: Two-Face is responsible and in the eyes if the law Two-Face should bear criminal responsibility, and overall, if the US laws same as where I am, all three (or more) participants: Two-Face as the one who hires the murderer, an intermediary who organises the crime, and the hired killer, all of them should get more time than if they just killed Willis on their own or together.

But! Jason lets Harvey go - more than that, he saves Harvey's life from a tragic accident which would have been Two-Face's own fault.

Well, you will say, Jason let him go because he is better than Harvey, and he's in a good place emotionally, +/-. It just was a shock to his system, finding out that his father's death was a conspiracy and Bruce knew all along. That's why his initial reaction was so violent. But his heart wasn't in it!

Okay, valid take. Moving on.

Garzonas. Or, if you think about it, a series of shitty events.

A series of sex-motivated violent crimes. First, two serial killers: Dumpster Slashers. Then, child porn ring (or it might be after what happened with Gloria, sorry, they were too close in time). Then Garzonas kidnaps and rapes Gloria Stanson for the second time and Jason is too late - he shows up after he hears Gloria screaming. It was already happening. Then it's the aftermath where he's not yet benched! And still continues to investigate violent sexual crimes! And he's only taken off active duty after Bruce discusses it with Alfred, and Alfred shares that Jason stopped talking about his mother but Alfred saw him looking at her photo and crying.

So the prevalent fanon is that Jason is a victim of sexual abuse and sex trafficking. Which I get. There's no really another way of interpreting Bruce's posthumous message where he's like "this one secret you shouldn't have kept; I'm sorry I made you do it, it fucked you up". And then what he told Mia, also a victim of child sex trafficking, this time canonical for 100%, and it was something like, "Me and you have the same experience of doing what we have to survive". This plus Jason having 3 main triggers: children in danger, sexual violence, and drug trafficking, - it all adds up to Jason being a victim himself. And I get it!

But before Garzonas, now we got Jason on-page killing another guy, Robbie. Robbie is Catherine's drug dealer. He is shown leaving their apartment, it's hinted that Catherine traded sexual favors and maybe not consensually - in any case with drugs being involved consent is dubious here. And that's who is Jason's first victim in the current canon, insomuch that Urban Legends is canon.

So. My take on this all is, yeah, Jason is a victim. But it's not and never was about him. He's never taking revenge for himself. It's always for other people. It's not even revenge, it's protection. He, personally, doesn't need protection after he becomes Robin - he is fucking magic now, he has the training, he has Batman at his side, he has Bruce Wayne and his money and social clout - he's untouchable. So why then? Well. Robbie was him protecting Catherine. Garzonas - if Jason pushed him, and that's a big if - was protecting other girls back in Bogatago, because it's clear that Garzonas is a serial rapist and never going to stop.

Even with Barabara and the incident on a ship, Jason was protecting her. He framed it in a bad way, though.

There, so far, are three revenge killings he planned or considered or actually had done: 1) Two-Face, tried and changed his mind; 2) Bruce - a "what if", not actually done it except in DitF movie (you can count it or not); 3) Bane. Bane is the only current comic continuity revenge killing that Jason actually had done, and with Bane being in Task Force Z - already dead, and functionally undead and able to be brought back at any point of time - it's not that much of a murder.

So yeah, Jason is not killing for revenge, he's killing to protect others.

At least it's how I see it, but you of course feel free to interpret it however you like. But yeah, Jason killing to protect a member of Batfam? Basically my jam. Yes, even if they won't appreciate it.

With revenge killing, it's slightly more difficult but I see it in situations like Jason killing Black Mask after he kills Stephanie. Tarantula is more like fandom's wish-fulfilment, we ain't got any decent resolution to that person raping Dick on a roof and making him complicit in a murder. Fandom needs to find some catharsis for that, and killing rapists could be cathartic in fiction. Rape revenge flicks are a genre of its own for a reason. Not without issues, of course. But the issue isn't in the gruesome revenge murders per se. More about it in Melina Pendulum's "Rape Revenge & Promising Young Woman| Realism vs Catharsis"

But basically. If Jason finds out about what happened and Tarantula is somewhere close, somewhere still posing a danger to Dick? Even if it's just Dick's mental state? Hell yeah, she's going down. Hell yeah, it is not going to actually help Dick, and Dick won't be grateful for that to Jason. Hell yeah, I would actually read the shit out of this, if it's not written as something I already have read like a dozen times (problem with tropes is, even if it's something you hold dear to your heart, some variation is still encouraged; the execution of a trope still should feel uniquely yours when you write it. Does it make sense?)

A little aside: Oh, a kingdom for a story where Jason fucking Todd goes against Darkseid in the aftermath of Bruce's death. Oh boy. One of these days I'm going to actually read that arc, and then Darkseid is toast. I can promise you that. Sorry, this was random, but basically: it's me wanting to replace Battle for the Cowl with something less "Jason went batshit bc daddy issues" + a callback to Under Red Hood and Jason is keeping his promise + BAMF!Jason killing a god-level villain, what can I say? And if Bruce or anyone is going to be butt-hurt over Darkseid, it's not about them, you know? (And doubt that they will)

Back to the ask. What was mentioned specifically was a rape-revenge killing. So it would be more understandable/IC if Batfam reacts badly to it - like, back to Dick, with Tarantula killing the, ughhh, I forgot the name, but you know the guy; part of Dick's trauma is that he feels at fault here. He feels he let it happen. He wanted it to happen and it happened and he didn't stop it, so. That's fucking him up. And it would totally fuck him up if it's happening again with Jason killing Tarantula. So yeah! He won't react great!

Look, people, especially Jason antis, love to harp that murder of fictional villains is bad, yadda yadda yadda, well. That would actually show this. Unlike their "Um murder is bad because it's murder and if you don't understand it, you're dumber than a fifth-grader" - screw those people, honestly. But the least they could do is show why it could be bad to kill rapists. For example, if that's objectively not something the victim wants or what would help them - yeah, I could buy it. I won't, like, enjoy reading this. But I will respect it.

Obligatory disclaimer: I do not support revenge murders irl.

(I also do not support an idea of putting a child into a crime-fighting situation, just to be clear where I am on fiction vs reality scale)

Okay, so here's where you lost me. I only know 2 fics where a Batfam member kills someone and Jason helps them. One with Dick and one with Tim. And they were great, from a literary perspective. I totally believe that in each of these stories, it's plausible that Dick and Tim went for the kill. And I totally get them calling Jason - I mean, who are you gonna call in a situation like this? A person who you trust and who will bury a body with you. Jason is this person.

But boy did Dick and Tim go off the rails in those stories. I am honestly feeling sorry for them. But again, plausible. If they were driven to murder someone, they're probably a mess. Yeah, they totally can't handle it.

And in both cases, Jason is already a known and accepted killer in Batfam. More or less.

And okay, with your description, I am a bit lost. Is Jason a known killer in those fics you read, or is it the first time he kills anyone and it's an accident? Or is it that the Batfam member who killed someone by accident? And it has to be treated differently than Jason's premeditated murder? Basically, I need to read those fics to tell you my verdict. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss it further.

#jason todd #ask meme #send me a fic trope and I will tell you what I think about it #batfam #dick grayson #you can tell by the amount of words i dedicated to this that i feel things for this trope a perfectly normal amount

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

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V3 boys accidentally knocking up their s/o in the killing game

desc; how the v3 boys would act if they found they knocked you up during the killing game.

warnings; fem!reader, pregnant!reader, sexual comments, cussing, mentions of sex, mild mild spoilers??

just a small note; I haven't finished the 3rd game yet so I have no idea what happens thus, I apologize if it isn’t too accurate or if there are gaps in my story! Also, i don’t know if reader stays in the killing game long enough to birth a child, so like, i just made it like she did??

Shuichi

to be honest, I think he would find out before you did.

he is extremely observant so he would notice the symptoms right away

He would notice how you got fatigued easily, how you seemed to get nauseated

first, he would ask you if you were late

then, if you said yes, he would tell you straight up.

“S/o, you’re pregnant.” “I- I’m what!?”

he would definitely get worried for you and his baby,

a child born into a killing game is not ideal after all.

would be with you at all times, too scared to let you out his sight

he doesn’t want you or his baby to get hurt or killed by another student

yes, he believes in everyone but he can never be too careful.

he’s constantly pestering you and asking if you’re alright

you have 0 time to yourself, because he’s always with you

would probably hold hands through the bathroom door if you were using the toilet

he would try and prepare everything for when you go into labor

he wanted to make sure that both you and the baby are safe before and after labor

he takes care of you very well, always getting what you need or want

overall, i think he’d be a very responsible dad when the baby is born, probably the best dad out of everyone.

Kokichi

At first kokichi thought you were joking,

“Nishishi! Nice prank, s/o! You almost got me!”

But when you look at him with a serious expression, he goes-

“Wait shit, did we not use protection?”

He’s not sure how to feel about it, so he just puts a fake face on.

He acts super excited and unworried but on the inside he’s not sure what to do.

he would constantly over think and become unsure of himself, the question repeating over and over in his head; Would he be a good dad?

Though he’s concerned for you and the baby, he’s actually kinda happy

he’s excited for all the pranks he and the baby can do against everyone in the killing game.

He has a new pranking partner!

yes, his pranking partner is less than a month old, but still! the baby is going to be a pranking master!

if you had strange cravings, he would try them with you

wanting to, “experience being pregnant with his tongue(kinky?)”

the horny bastard would probably still wanna smash, but definitely more gently than usual, he didn’t want to stab the baby with his dick

I think he’d talk to your baby via belly a lot

he would tell your baby stupid jokes that were kinda inappropriate but still hilarious

“Hmm, it must be nice being inside S/o. I would know, I was too.”

“KOKICHI-” “NISHISHI!” *fucking books it*

i think he’d be a pretty irresponsible dad, but he’d definitely fight for his new family(with pranks)

random headcanon, but i think kokichi would wrap your baby in one of his checkered scarves when it comes out like- ahHHHHHHHHHH

he would also swaddle da baby with his scarf fvhajfgkgavkgbuyg

Korekiyo

When he found out, he was pretty shocked at first

But after the shock, he was insanely happy that he managed to create a human with you.

he adored the fact that his child would be able to make history and continue to live on even after he dies.

He loves humanity, so he’d love the human baby he made with you even more

during your 9 months of pregnancy, he would praise you and your ‘glowing body’ daily

constantly saying stuff like, “Your body is a temple and you are a Goddess.” and “The life growing inside you simply amazing and I am proud to share this experience with an entity such as you.”

You know, that cheesy ooey gooey romantic shit

“S/o, I want to crawl into your body so I can experience being born aga-” “That’s enough of that.”

It's cute and all, but it sometimes gets embarrassing when he is basically worshipping you in public(especially like that).

i think he would tell the baby, folk tales and myths while it was still in your belly

he wanted to raise the baby to be just as curious as he is.

though, behind all these adorable things, kiyo is worried.

don't get me wrong, he does enjoy the other students’ thoughts and strange minds, but he doesn’t trust them for a second.

he would never willingly leave you with another student.

he gets a teensy bit controlling; always asking you to stay in his lab or dorm.

but he won’t get unreasonably angry if you go anywhere else, he just encourages staying in places with less people

if you do need to go somewhere else with other people, he would just follow you

in the end, I think kiyo would be a dad that never neglects his kid(can’t relate-).

he would always be there for them.

K1-B0

K1-B0 doesn’t have the facilities to knock anyone up.

like kokichi asked, do robots even have a penis????

how the hell did you two fuck in the first place!????!

but if somehow, miu gives him a penis and actual sperm??? I guess it could work?? i don't know how it works man- I've never fucked a robot

I think he’d be happy and proud that he managed to impregnate you

“See!? I can do human things too!” “...Impregnating a human, K1B0? Seriously? Too fucking far.”

okay, I can’t take this one seriously T_T

um, if you and K1B0 had a baby, would it be half robot??

through your belly, the baby would make robot noises to communicate and K1B0 would understand which is cool

when the baby was born, he gets very protective; he doesn't want his baby to face the same discrimination and bullying he did

he wouldn’t be afraid that the others would hurt the baby, because he helped build in lazer eyes for his baby.

oh but he definitely would not let his baby go near Miu at all

he would prevent that from happening as much as possible

he’s afraid she’ll do something weird to the baby and add new gadgets,

sure its cool and all for him, but the baby is so young!

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABVHGJDFKVJGVJ

Kaito

Kaito would be fucking psyched when you told him, stars in his eyes and everything

“I-I’m gonna be a dad!? whOOOOOOOOOOO!!” He picked you up and hugged you tight, but not too tight; he didn't want to hurt the baby.

But then realization hits him like a truck when he realizes, that the baby was going to be born into a killing game.

He would have a nervous breakdown and cry for about, ehhh a day or so

but once he gets it all out, he focuses on the positives

if it was possible, he loves you even more than he did before!

now that you have a mini you growing inside you(inception!?), its like, double the love :0

he’s giddy everytime he sees you with your baby bump, not being able to resist hugging you every time he sees you.

he loves you so much, it's hard to put in words

he cries when he can feel the baby kick, kissing your belly uwu

when you’re around people he can’t trust in the killing game, he gets very very protective

he would watch their every move, moving to shield you when they move their hands.

but around the people he trusts like shuichi and maki, he’d let his guard down and relax

he would stress out if you were in any discomfort, always making sure you were okay

if your legs or back were sore, he would be there in an instant to massage your joints until his hands fell off

he puts you before himself, sometimes forgetting to take care of his basic needs like, eating or sleeping

you’d have to remind him a lot

I think something cute that he would do while you two slept is holding you or your belly protectively while he dozed off

overall, a goofy dad that makes stupid dad jokes.

would have a lot of proud dad moments

he seems like the type who would embarrass his child a lot lmao

Gonta

uh, gonta is father?

would definitely be shocked and stressed out when you told him

his protective mom dad instinct would intensify and he would constantly be carrying you

1. because he didn’t want your legs to get tired

2. he’s practicing for when he picks up his baby

3. if he carries you like this, no one can reach and/or hurt you

4. because he can

5. and because a gentleman would do that

he doesn't really know what to do when you’re having pregnancy symptoms, like vomiting, nausea, etc.

he’s not great at that part, but he knows how to protect you from danger and he knows how to make sure you’re comfortable

he treats you like a queen(as all women should be treated!)

he isn’t really worried when you’re around other students, but he still picks you up just in case

i think he’d act super sweet, like his sweetness would intensify to 100

he would try cooking a meal for you or giving you breakfast in bed, but it always tastes like boiled eggs in the end?

like no matter what it is, it always tastes like boiled eggs

pasta? boiled eggs

maki rolls(haha)? boiled eggs

sandwich? boiled eggs

“...Mmm! Gonta this is, uh, not at all tasting like boiled eggs!” You tried to say enthusiastically, Gonta nodded with a soft smile, “Gonta glad you like it!”

eventually you caved in and told him(after a few months... you didn't want to hurt the baby—gonta—, okay?)

he’d have to ask kirumi to do all the cooking while he just handed her ingredients

he feels weird when he thinks about the fact that his baby is growing inside you

all he can think about is larva

but he thinks its cool that his creation is going to grow inside you and become another human

so he just rolls with it

Rantaro

(i apologize in advance if this isn’t too accurate)

i feel like i can imagine this:

Rantaro was sitting on the benches outside, drinking his bottled tea. His eyes darted towards your approaching figure. He stored his leftover tea in his cheeks as he gave you a wave, putting his bottle down. “Rantaro, i’m pregnant.” His eyes widened as the tea came spewing out, luckily he turned his head away so you were out of the splash-zone. He dropped his bottle before standing up and immediately hugging you. “I love you so much, we can do this. I love you.” He repeated as he moved his hand up your head, tangling his fingers in your locks.

he would be pester you if you looked like you were in pain or struggling with something, thinking you were going into labor

*breathing pattern changes* “Holy shit! Are you going into labor?? Fuck, okay um, uH hospital?? UH contRACTIOns HOw LoNg?-” “I JUST BREATHED DIFFERENTLY.”

p a n i c

he doesn’t know how the whole pregnancy thing works, he’s only a teen after all

but no matter what, he supports you in any way he can

i think if anyone made a bad comment about your baby or you, he would probably scare the shit out of them with his scary expression

intimidation x100

i headcanon him to be a cuddly dad

he would hold you a lot, he likes feeling all three of you together

small scenario from when the baby was born;

As your baby’s cries filled the room, you sighed as you got up from the bed. Rantaro, however, abruptly stopped your movement, “Don’t worry, I got ‘em.” He rubbed his eyes, kissing your forehead as he gently pushed you back down onto the bed and walked towards the crib.

You watched with droopy eyes as Rantaro gently shushed the baby by bouncing them in his arms. Rantaro made his way back to bed and slipped in beside you, the now quiet baby still in his arms. “Mmm Rantaro no, we’re gonna crush the baby.”

You softly groaned in protest. Rantaro pouted at you, silently pleading with you with his puppy-dog eyes. You let out a huff of defeat before nodding, eyes half-closed. The last thing you saw before dozing off was Rantaro smiling goofily at the baby. You slowly fell asleep, Imprinting a gentle smile on your face as you slept.

sorry for steering the other way for rantaro’s, its 6am ;-; what is sleep anyway? phew, thank you for requesting this! i enjoyed writing it, it was fun :D

- mod chia

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internalsealpanic · 3 years

Text

Respectful Cannibalism

Summary: Watching mystery movie with a bunch of detective was a bad idea

A/n: While this is part 3 to my Space Case series, you’re not required to read Art Gallery Smile or Cosmonauts to understand the context to this. The only note I do have is that Dick and Steph are friends with Reader much to Tim’s everlasting horror. Special thanks to @littleredwing89 and @glorified-red for proof reading this mess.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff and a confusing amount of batkids in one scene.

Main Masterlist

Tim Drake Masterlist

Tim coughs, loud and ragged into the speaker. You find yourself wincing at the phone tucked against your ear. Tim sounds like he’s dying or, at the very least, he’s on his way there.

“I’m so-”

“Fucking tired of saying sorry that you decided to go skinny dipping in Gotham Harbor? Yeah. Great, I’m sick of hearing it too. Glad, we’re on the same page, Space Cadet.” You exasperate, pulling on your jeans violently enough for Tim to hear the angry shuffling of fabric.

“Skinny dipping?” Tim huffs, a fond smile playing on his lips as he drinks in the timber of your voice. Even when you were absolutely exasperated, your voice was still soothing or maybe he just misses your company. God, he’s such a sap.

You shake your head in disbelief. That was his take away? “Yes, Timmy, Buck-ass skinny dipping,” you laugh, coming out derisive and sharp. Tim groans this time filled with guilt. The first few sounds of another ‘I’m sorry’ form in the back of his throat as he runs his hand through his bed head. For once, you’re thankful that you’re nowhere near Tim because you are one apology away from decking him and you’re pretty sure that that’s a terrible thing to do to a sick person, especially one with no brain cells to spare.

“I- You were really looking forward to this (Y/n), don’t try to deny it.” You weren’t going to. He was right. You were looking forward to this date. You were impossibly, unreasonably giddy over the prospect of going to the planetarium with Tim this afternoon. WITH Tim. Sure, you’re pretty down about it but you were the tiniest bit more concerned about the fact that your boyfriend had water in his lungs and almost died of hypothermia for a hot second. You pinch the bridge of your nose, hoping that worry and murder radiate off of you in equal measure. “I was also looking forward to my letter from Hogwarts,” you sneer, pausing dramatically to look at your watch, “and it’s been roughly a decade.” You hear Tim swallow and the hairs on your neck bristle in petty satisfaction.

Tim chortles, a lively sound that startles you, then coughs but the sound comes out somehow sounding doubtful and teasing. Embarrassment flares up in you. “You were too!” you protest, hackles drawn to full height. A short breathy laugh leaves Tim and you feel the flush on your face ease into something softer and more rounded. All the sharpness in your veins dissipates as the flash of fondness for that stupid laugh takes over. You can imagine him warm under the covers smiling at the phone at your blunder. “Please, (y/n), my hopes were dashed when I was 4 and still not in the Jedi order.”

“Bullshit, you were never a child,” you snort, sharpening the grin on your face into something vicious. “I refuse to believe you were ever a child! You probably sprang out of a textbook fully formed- Wait, I’m getting off-topic. ” Tim hums innocently and you narrow your eyes at the phone, hoping he can feel the ‘I am revoking your breathing privileges’ look. “You always are.” Tim says before falling into a coughing fit.

“Sorry, Cosmo, I just keep getting lost in your eyes,” you whisper, pitching your voice rich and caramel smooth. There’s a sound on the other line. Tim is babbling you realize. You hear a shuffle of fabric and a body rising. Tim sucks in a breath, red-faced and caught off guard by the sudden shift in tone. He can practically see the cocky grin playing on your face, the light of the sun reflecting as golden flecks in your eyes. “You can’t even see them!” Tim stammers, glowering at you through the phone. You cackle at him as if sensing the venomous look he’s giving you. “You can barely open them!” Tim rolls his, very much, open eyes, falling back into an unnecessarily large pile of pillows that Alfred insisted was necessary for bed rest with a loud ‘fwoof’. “Yes, I can,” Tim mumbles, sounding young for once. You do your level best to smother a grin on your face. “I’m just really drowsy from the chamomile tea Alfie gave me.” You stop dead in your tracks, one hand half in your coat the other on the doorknob. You blink. “You’re at the Manor?”

Tim pauses, making a frustrated noise. He shouldn’t have said that. “Dick and B… insisted.” This draws another one of your sharp laughs. He says insisted as if it was ever negotiable. “Did they ‘insist’ before or after they blow-dried and hung you out to dry?” Tim squawks and you hear shuffling again. Tim tries to remember why he doesn’t hate you. “Tell me again how you found out about me getting sick? Steph? Cass?”

“Hmmmmmm, Dick.”

“THAT TRAITOR”

“Funny way to pronounce older brother,” you hum smug. You can feel Tim glaring daggers at you. “You-”

“There’s a home theater, yeah?”

Tim pauses, this time longer. “I don’t like where this is going.”

“Answer the question, Space Case.”

He sighs. “Yes.”

“Great! It’s a date then,” you say, mentally preparing a route to the Manor from the vague directions Steph told you once. You could just use the maps app-

“NO!” You freeze. Tim flinches at the volume of his own voice. He whispers an indiscernible ‘I’m sorry’. You turn it over in your mind before speaking. “No?” You ask, trying your best to sound hurt instead of amused. Maybe you should have pitched your voice higher, more shaky. “Look, Tim, I-” Tim heaves a loud sigh. “-(Y/n), you’re fine-” Well, you aren’t, you think. You bite your tongue, physically to make sure you don’t say anything unnecessary. “-It’s got nothing to do with you. It’s- It’s just my siblings...” Tim knows that his siblings have been talking about you.

“Timmy, I can take whatever shovel talk they can give me,” you say with the confidence of someone who has never been dangled over the edge of a roof top. Ok, to be fair, YOU had nothing to worry about. Tim, on the other hand, was going to get roasted alive. Maybe he can persuade you into not- Tim hears the tell tale sputtering of your bike’s engine and he feels his blood pressure spike. The engine genuinely sounds like a death rattle.

“You’ll get sick.”

You swear and he hears another sputter of the engine. “You’ll get sick,” he croaks again, louder this time hopefully over the dying engine. Maybe if your engine dies right now, he’ll be spared from a slow agonizing death via siblings. “Relax Cosmo, I have the strongest ward against whatever you got,” you say, giving the engine a light kick. Tim hears a few metallic clunks then the engine stutters to life. Tim looks up past the ceiling trying to glare at whatever cosmic being resurrected your engine.

“Which is...”

“Being broke. It does wonders for your health.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works,” Tim says, shifting burying his head against the too soft pillows. The soft fabric makes his eyes feel heavy. He yawns. He hears the sputter or your laugh. It’s hard to tell from the sudden drowsiness making his head swim.

“I promise I’ll explain to your typical rich kid ass when I get there, Tim.”

“That’s not how it works,” Tim slurs, face pressed into a pillow.

You laugh, he’s sure this time.

“I’m-” Tim’s mind unfocuses and the words you say garble together ”-Tim. ”

Tim blinks, mouth moving to ask you to repeat that but the last thing he hears is a soft click.

On the bright side, it would just be him and Alfred at the manor.

_________________________________________________________

Batmanisfake: I heard (y/n)'s coming over😶

Nightwingingit:👀 How do you even know that?

Batmanisfake: What are you? A cop?

Nightwingingit: say that again but slowly 🙄

Batmanisfake: ...

Damian: He bugged Drake's phone. For blackmail purposes, of course.

Nightwingingit: JASON

The Cool One: Shush Dick! He's onto something

Batmanisfake: Thank you

The Adult: I for once had nothing to do with it😌

Theactualbatman: I'm assuming we're all coming home tonight?

The Cool One: I'll bring popcorn

Damian: Nonsense Pennyworth will likely have some prepared

The Cool One:😭 We really do not deserve that man

Nightwingingit: Definitely

thesaneone: We're recording Tim's face when he sees us, right?

Batmanisfake: From all angles

The Adult: You're all horrible

Batmanisfake: Please like you're not hacking into the cameras as we speak, Babs

The Adult: You have no proof👀

_________________________________________________________

Tim’s head felt thick and gooey like one of Alfred’s custards. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s in a fish tank. There’s a sickly Chlorine smell clogging his nostrils; it smells powdery and sterile and reminds him vaguely of aspirin. Tim blinks. His eyes hurt; they feel puffy and sore and hot. His vision is further obscured by a thick layer of fleece blankets Alfred had piled high over him. He shuts his eyes still feeling too overwhelmed by the low light coming from the window.

Tim thinks he hears his window open with a soft click. Tim quiets his breathing. His hearing is too muddled to process anything beyond it. There’s a soft thud of heavy boots in the room; it’s imperceptible and dreamlike the way it reaches his ears that it has him shifting under the covers trying his best to discern the sound. A dozen lighter footsteps follow it and he can sense 6 shapeless bodies hovering over him.

“Should we wake him up?” asks a voice that vaguely sounds like Cass.

There’s a shuffling sound. Leather, he thinks. “Wait, lemme take a picture.”

“Red, why? It’s not like you can blackmail him with pictures of him sleeping.”

“Because, flashlight, I need proof that Timbo sleeps. ”

“Because?”

“Ok, how many times have you seen him asleep?”

“Uh...”

“Exactly!”

Tim hears a laugh that distinctly sounds like Dick. “Does it count if Alfie drugged him?”

“Maybe?” Steph says, shrugging.

“It doesn’t, Brown.”

“Damn it.”

“Does that mean B doesn’t sleep?”

“Nope.”

Maybe if Tim keeps sleeping, they’ll go away on their own. Tim wraps the sheets tightly around himself, hoping the large stack of fleece would be enough to muffle his siblings.

“I’m pretty sure I have dibs on waking him for opening the window for you shits.”

“Red, anyone could have opened that,” Duke laughs, stepping slightly behind Cass, who at the moment was paying more attention to the moving pile of fabric. Maybe if Tim stays really still she’ll turn her attention to something else.

“Cass and Dickface would have just broken it.‘

“I would not!”

“Sorry, Cass, you would.”

“Steph, whose side are you on?”

“Why is no one defending me?” Dick sighs.

“No one cares, Dickface. And Blondie’s clearly playing for the right team-” Steph cackles. “-none of you have any finesse.”

“Not all of us can be drama queens, Todd.”

“You’re like the third to the last person I wanna hear this from.”

“Third? You’re ranking us now? Who gave you the right?”

“Alfred,” Jason deadpans, “And yeah. Bruce and Dick are first and second.”

“Hey!”

“Can it Mr. Pretty Man Down.”

“That was one-”

“What rank am I?”

“uh … fifth.”

“Fifth?!”

“Sorry, Blondie, Cass has you beat with that ballet kick thingy.”

“Ok, yeah I can accept that. What about Babs?”

“What about Babs? The woman can kick my ass six ways to Sunday. ”

Tim’s head throbs all over. There are soft pin pricks pressing on the sole of his left foot; his leg jerks involuntarily. He wants to scream. Tim swears under his breath. A gloved hand pries the covers away from Tim’s face. Tim squints his eyes open only to be greeted by Dick’s kind, but still very punchable, face. Tim takes a long rasp, pinching his features in a mix of annoyance and despair. “Why are you-” Cough! “-here?”

There’s a slight quirk to Dick’s smile.“They wanted to meet (y/n),” Dick explains in a sweeping theatrical motion of his hand across the room directing Tim’s attention to the expressions on his sibling’s expressions which were all a variation of devious scheming.

“How did-” cough. “- you even know-” cough. “-(y/n) was coming?” Tim asks, shooting up from his pile of pillows causing a couple of blankets to topple to the floor to the ground. Tim’s lightheaded. He suddenly feels a shift in his balance, a feeling of vertigo. He nearly topples to the ground, his blood not quite catching up to his movements, when feels hands wrap around his shoulders. “Woah there Baby Bird, slowdown.”

“Answer-” Cough!

“It was Todd.”

“You mutant sperm!”

“Jay, aren’t we all mutant sperm?” Steph laughs, slinging one arm over an irate Damian’s shoulders and another over a fuming Jason’s shoulders. Tim groans, sounding pained. “How much do I need to pay each of you to get all of you to go away?”

“A lifetime of IOUs,” Dick says, casually.

“NO!”

“All of your share in W.E.,” Duke says, laughing. Steph elbows him lightly, also laughing. “You’re shooting prelow there, Slick,” Steph teases. Duke shrugs still grinning. “Gotta keep it realistic, yanno?” Steph and Duke keep bickering.

“Drake, kindly, pay with your life.”

Tim scrunches his nose. “I’m already on my deathbed, you know, dying. What else do you want from me?”

“A more agonizing death.”

Jason grins, tilting his chin. “C’mon, Timbo, we can help with your little impromptu date.” Tim groans, placing his face in his hands. “Please just help me dig my own grave.”

“What would be the fun in that, Timbo?”

“For you or for me?”

“Come on, Tim, it’ll be fine,” Cass says, clearly not believing the words herself. All seven of them dissolve into another round bickering. Damian, Jason, and Steph hellbent on giving Tim an aneurysm. Duke and Cass playing at being neutral; Duke leaning on Tim’s side but laughing way too hard at Steph’s well placed jabs; Cass is only mildly siding with Tim to spite Jason. Why this time? Tim has no clue.

The string of banter is broken up by the echoing the doorbell. Tim’s heart seizes as they all fall silent, enraptured by the odd sound of a doorbell filling the hallowed halls of Wayne Manor. The chiming of bells ends with the creaking of the large oak doors in the front of the manor.

Before Tim’s sluggish brain could even formulate a thought, all of his siblings are all bounding towards the door, bouncing off the walls and flipping over obstacles. Tim scrambles, lagging, after the hoard of vigilantes barrelling towards you. Tim tries to shout after his siblings but his voice is drowned out by raucous laughter and bickering.

You stand at the door, head haloed by the pale afternoon light as the sky catches fire, flecks of snow sparkling in your hair. You tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear as you sheepishly thank Alfred as he takes your coat.

Tim struggles to breathe an he genuinely doesn’t know if it’s because of his lungs, you, or the fact that of all his siblings, Babs was the one who got there first and Tim genuinely doesn’t know if Babs is there to hold off the gaggle of vigilantes or to scare you off. From the jovial grin wrinkling your features, Tim’s pretty sure Babs just gave you some blackmail material instead of putting you through the ringer- an equally scary outcome. For your part, you don’t look even slightly phased by the fact that Babs is in a wheelchair or even by the way she’s clearly sizing you up. All of this rolls off of you with an easy motion of your shoulders as you answer her questions in the most frustratingly oblique way based off of Babs’s expression. Tim can’t help the curve on his lip as you blatantly dodge another of Babs’s questions with a smile. You spot him, winking, and the tips of Tim’s ears flush.

Your cocky demeanor fades when a gaggle of batbrats crowd you; nervousness creeps into your form, ironing out your posture into something unnatural and defensive. “Is this a bad time?” You ask through a tight lipped smile. Babs glares at them but doesn’t make any effort to hide the satisfaction at your shaken demeanor. “Don’t mind them, Sweetie,” Babs says, patting your back and guiding you away from the gaggle. You shuffle awkwardly, trying to coax your spine back into a more natural curve.

“(Y/n)!” Tim manages between gasps for air. Making a person with non functioning lungs run has to be some sort of human rights violation. His voice is louder than he anticipated. He realizes, but the apprehension in his body flits away when you beam at him-a wide cheeky smile that has his body vibrating with delight. He made you smile like that, Tim thinks, heart swelling almost enough to soften the impact of the next few words. “Hey, Duckie!” you chirp tilting your face in a cute lopsided smile.

“Duckie?” Jason sniggers.

Duke’s face passess from confusion, realization, then amusement in a matter of three seconds.“Duckie? As in ‘quack quack’?” Duke asks, pretending to still be dumbstruck.

“Yes, Duckie, Tommy Terrific,” you say, the lopsided smile curving into a playful grin. The dumb nicknames earn you a loud, surprisingly nonthreatening, approving laugh from Jason who then says “We’ll keep those nicknames in mind” which just drags pained looks from both Tim and Duke. Dick and Damian on the other hand look absolutely delighted.

“(Y/n), tell them about the other nicknames,” Steph says, grinning savagely. Your eyes widen and you wrinkle your nose, mouth twitching from side to side, trying to pretend away the heat rising from your cheeks. “Not on your life, Stephie.”

“Aaaaaw! Not even for lil ol’ me?” Dick pouts, throwing his arms around you. The familiarity of the action has Tim bristling. “Pleeeeeaaase,” Dick whines; a smile hidden in your hair, “not even for Alfred’s cookies?” You make a noise caught between a laugh and a groan. “Hmmmm… maybe? Throw in some candy.”

“Deal.”

Tim blinks. “You’d betray me for sugar?”

“Cus I ain’t getting any while you’re sick,” you cackle, grinning along with Dick who looks way too pleased with the outcome of the conversation. Tim desperately wants to melt into the floor. Looking at all his siblings who are eagerly awaiting for the litany of nicknames, Tim cuts in. “Let’s just go watch that film.”

“What are we watching?” Cass asks, leaning to look over your shoulder, clearly shoving Dick out of the way. Dick does his best to not budge.

“What do you mean ‘we’?”

“We are under a communist regime, Timbo. We’re all watching it together,” Jason says, slinging Tim over his shoulder.

“Have a heart, Drake. We only want to spend family time together,” Damian says, somehow still looking imperious even from where Tim is dangling. A dull ache starts spreading across Tim’s like his skull is being squeezed.

“Hope you guys like Clue,” you say, fishing it out of your cornucopia of unhealthy junk food. “I figured you detectives would like a good mystery.” Dick snorts taking the disc from you and reading over the contents efficiently. “Bet you I can get the ending even before any of you.”

“No, you won’t,” Jason barks, setting off a long winded argument about who the best detective is.

“Didn’t you say you would eat me if I spoiled another mystery movie for you? Are you planning to eat my entire family?” Tim croaks quietly. You scrunch your nose, twitching your mouth four times to the left and four and a half times to the right. “Technically, what I said was ‘I’ll respectfully go back to juvie for cannibalism if you spoil another movie that night’,” you hiss low, trying not to draw attention to your conversation. Unfortunately for you, his siblings have good hearing.

“And this is different how?” Tim asks, this time not bothering to control his volume.

“You’ll never figure out the ending,” You say smiling innocently. Tim rolls his eyes and huffs a ‘we’ll see’. It doesn’t wipe the smile off of your face.

As it turns out, the Wayne Manor theater is less of a theater and more of a bean bag storage closet with a large screen. Jason tosses Tim unceremoniously into one of the random bean bags in front of the couch before gracefully pirouetting into the couch. You chuckle and continue your search for something to put your Bluray in, just now realizing that you should have probably just asked for their Netflix password or something. Alfred appears out of nowhere handing Jason and Cass each a bowl of buttery popcorn and scolding Jason about manhandling his brother in front of a guest. Jason looks unrepentant. No surprises there. With a swat on the back of Jason’s head, Alfred turns to you, gloved hands extended out to you. “I can take that."

“Oh… Uh thanks- Thank you,” you stammer. To your left, Tim snickers and your hand slip, somehow the blanket Babs handed you finds its way to Tim’s face. “Shut up, Ducktective. He’s practically your grandpa and I kinda wanna make a good impression,” you hiss, cheeks warming. Tim coughs, a little dumbfounded. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to him that you were nervous about this.

Tim checks if his brain is on straight before speaking. “Relax, you haven’t physically assaulted me or any of my family yet so you’re immediately at the top of Alfie’s list.” You open your mouth to speak then curl it into a frown, looking appalled and concerned. Apparently, his brain wasn't on as straight as Tim thought. "Am I going to have to fight your exes? At some point?"

"No!"

"Yes!" Steph says, handing you a red bean bag. Tim scowls at Steph as he watches the color drain from your face. She just shrugs and goes off to annoy Dick.

“Mr. Boddy?” Damian asks incredulously, reading the box summary again. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” you laugh, setting your bean bag next to the one Jason dropped Tim in. Damian rolls his eyes. “This is a stupid movie. Do people really consume this drivel?”

You scrunch your nose but don’t put too much heart into glaring. Thankfully, color is now returning to your face. “The movie hasn’t even started yet!”

“Relax (y/n), the tiny mutant sperm is just playing elitist,” Steph says, plopping next to Jason and eyeing his bowlful of buttery popcorn.

“As long as it isn’t as bad as the Happening-”

“Dude, you live in a city with Poison Ivy. That thing is pretty much a documentary,” Duke says hesitantly taking the spot between Steph and Cass.

"Please, for the love of Alfie, please, talk about something else," Dick whines, plopping a bean bag next to Tim. Jason’s face twists in confusions before his eyes light up and untwists into an expression with amusement. "Is it because of the-" Dick hits him square in the face with a pillow, all the while screeching "Think of the children!"

"Where, Dickface?" Jason ask, prompting Dick to point(jazz hands) at Damian who rolls his eyes. Jason does the same, looking younger than the toughened exterior suggested. "That's a gremlin, Dickface. Not a child."

"He is-"

"SHUSH! The movie is starting!"

You giggle, curling into Tim's side and placing your head in the crook of his neck where you usually like to put it. Tim's insides shiver from the contact and his hands automatically coil around you, pressing his nose into your hair.

"Jeez, her melons are big," Babs says flatly taking another handful of Dick's popcorn from Damian. Cass snorts and Tim feels embarrassment creep into his skin. He flicks his eyes to you, only to find you smiling into his side.

"They're almost as big as Dick's," you chuckle.

"Nah, Jason is bigger," Cass pipes.

You eye Jason openly which makes the large man cross his arms over his chest. "Huh, you're right," you note with more confusion than anything.

"Bruce has moobs too!" Jason protests, red-faced.

"Son, why?"

The chatter falls silent when the figure at the edge of the room settles itself into the large leather recliner in one corner of the room. You squint your eyes to distinguish its features from the rest of the shadows in the room; only to be greeted by the solemn features of Bruce Wayne. Your breath catches and you feel your skin jump twenty feet in the air. Everyone else in the room seems to have about the same reaction even as he pulls a lever to raise the foot rest. You all follow his movements with interest.

“Is Bruce trying to relax?” Duke whispers to Cass who shrugs in response. Steph rolls her eyes, reaching over Duke to try and snatch some popcorn from Jason who just raises his bowl higher. “Shhhhh, Duke, let the B man try to play human,” she says, snatching at the popcorn til the bowl just falls on Jason’s head.

“He’s trying I guess.” This draws a startled chuckle out of you that you try to press in Tim’s neck. The vibrations against his skin has him shivering.

“B, are you ok?” Dick asks. This makes Bruce’s features move in a slightly concerned fashion which in Bruce speak is very concerned. “Yes, why?”

“Ooooh, no reason, old man.” He turns to Babs. “Yeah that’s not Bruce. Five bucks says it’s a robot.” Babs snickers, grabbing a ten from her purse. “Ten says it’s an alien.” You twist to look at them, taking out a twenty. “Twenty says it’s just Mr.Wayne.” Jason sneers at you, taking your money. “You clearly don’t know the old man.”

“Can we please just watch this film in peace?” Bruce groans, running a hand over his face, finally looking more like the long suffering single dad of eight kids that he should be. Babs looks over her shoulder, slinging Bruce an absolutely disbelieving look. “Do you even know your children?”

“Yes, father, have you even watched us bond?” Damian asks, using his free hand to do air quotes for the word ‘bond’ while using the other to try and swipe some popcorn from Cass. It doesn’t work.

“That definitely isn’t Bruce,” Dick hisses, trying to shield his own bowl of popcorn from an irate Damian.

“SHHHHHH! I can’t hear the movie!”

“It’s definitely the butler,” Dick declares. Damian scowls, throwing a pillow at him which Dick catches with ease. “Grayson, the movie has barely started.”

“It’s definitely the butler. It’s gotta be. It’s always the butler.”

“That’s very offensive to Alfred, Dick,” Cass says, grinning. Alfred sniffs poshly in his own recliner. Dick recoils but Jason piles on. “Very classist of you, Dickiebird.”

Duke snorts. “Nah, I think he’s just saying it because Tim Curry was Pennywise the Clown.”

“Why would you trust a clown?”

“Oh my god, why are you guys comparing Alfred to a clown?”

“We are not!”

“This conversation is a trainwreck,” Tim groans into your hair. “Dunno, Tim, it sounds like a success,” you laugh, pressing closer. His eyes flick between you and his siblings. “You planned this.” You look up at him, failing to flatten a smile. “Nope.”

“I say it’s Ms. Scarlett,” Bruce says, rubbing his chin contemplatively.

“You’re just saying that cus she reminds you of Selina,” Tim huff, grinning and you’re half tempted to pinch his cheeks. Bruce cuts him a scathing look that has you shrinking; the grin on Tim’s face just broadens which just makes the playful scowl on Bruce’s face deepen. “Need I remind you who pays for the internet?”

“Alfred?” Tim asks, innocently.

“Careful Tim, B man might actually do it. Hell, he’ll probably do it if he finds out what you did last Thursday.”

“Do you mean the explosion on Fifth?” you ask, turning to Steph. Steph gives you a firm nod; in the corner of your eye, you can see Bruce arching a brow. Tim gapes at you looking absolutely gutted. “What happened to snitches get stitches?” Tim protests.

You shrug, grinning. “Sorry, Duckie, I stand by my cookie dealer. Who do you think sneaks Duke and me cheetos in Western Civilization? I stand by my fellow barbarian.”

“You know Duke?”

“I pay him to-”

“Shhhhh!”

“You guys are talking too!”

“At least, it’s movie related!” Damian hisses.

You throw up your hands with an exaggerated flail. “Fine!”

“I say it’s the shifty looking lady,” Jason declares, reaching over Duke and Steph to try and snatch some popcorn from Cass. You wonder why Jason doesn’t just snatch some from Alfred since he’s closer. You try to ask Tim but he just shakes his head at you. “Ms.Peacock?” Cass asks, shoving Jason’s face away with butter covered fingers. Duke tries to snatch a few kernels in the confusion only to get his hand swatted. “I think he means Mrs. White,” he says, waving his hand. “Yeah that one.”

“It’s the butler! It’s always butler!” Dick protests.

“I will fucking riot if it’s the butler!” Steph shoots back.

“It can’t be the butler.”

“Why not, Dami? He has motive.”

Damian rolls his eyes.“Gordon, why are you siding with Grayson?-” Babs opens her mouth to answer but Damain continues before she can get another syllable out “-nevermind. He doesn’t have as much motive as the rest of them. Besides, does he really look competent enough to hold a gun left alone with a knife?”

Tim raises his chin from your head. “Demon Spawn, your standards for butlers is too high. Alfred is-”

“You say this like you have plenty of references.”

“Oh, Tommy Terrific, Duckie here is a posh bastard,” Jason sneers ruffling Tim’s hair. From the way, some of his hairs stick up you could guess that he still had some butter in his hand. Tim makes a face of disgust; you try your best to help him with his hair. “Jay, you say that but you’re like Mr. I need the correct type of wood for my bookshelves,” Steph laughs. “Just because I’m not a slob like the rest of you walking disasters doesn’t mean I’m posh.”

“Yes, it does. You lived here. Yanno with Alfie,” Dick says, pulling out another pack of snacks he’d managed to snag from your bag. You’re not gonna ask at this point. Tim gives you a look which roughly translates to ‘I am very sorry for my trainwreck of a family’. You snort at him before turning towards his sibling. “I mean look at Cass. She’s still feral.” If looks could kill, the look Cass give you would melt your bones. Thankfully, Damian opens his mouth. “They’re all feral.” You have a sense that you’ve also been insulted. You hear Babs to your right laugh derisively. “You say this like you’re any less feral than the rest of us.”

“I am-”

“Are any of you still watching the movie?” Bruce asks and for the second time that night, your body tries to divorce your soul. You had almost forgotten that yes, you are watching Clue with the fucking Batman. You shift in your seat suddenly feeling a twinge of nervousness. Before the discomfort could nestle in you, Jason speaks up. “No, Bruce, we’re just watching Cass vacuum the popcorn into her stomach. What do you think?”

“You guys didn’t ask,” Cass says through a mouthful of popcorn knowing full well that’s a lie.

“How can any of you be watching it? All you’ve done is talk over the dialogue.” You almost laugh at how exasperated he sounds. Beside you, Tim just snickers and shakes his head.

Damian just looks at his father from his bean bag next to Dick. “Father, we can talk and listen. ” Dick, like the mature adult that he is, slaps his knee laughing. “I don’t think B is capable of that.”

“PREACH” was followed by a chorus of AMENs.

"Alfred, what have I done to turn my children against me?" Bruce asks, tiredly leaning back into his recliner.

"Master Bruce, how would you like me to list it?"

"Alfred not you too," Bruce groans, putting his hands in his eyes.

"Yeah! Alfie's on our side!" Jason cheers.

"Quite."

"Alfie is always the sensible one," Cass chuckles sensibly between bites. You hear varying noises of agreement and Bruce ages from suave debonair to extremely tired single dad.

"I assume Alfred is actually the boss here."

"Yeah, Bruce is actually on the bottom of the food chain here," Tim says. You tilt your head in contemplation. "Yanno that makes Batman so much less scary."

"B-man's just a giant softie," Steph chirps, slinging her legs over Duke and Cass's laps narrowly missing the nearly empty bowl of popcorn.

Dick turns to you winking. "Yeah, just give him the puppy eyes and he'll get you anything you want in 2 seconds flat."

"Dick…"

"It's true!"

"Even a carnival?"

"Can we please just watch the movie?" Bruce says, in an almost pleading voice.

"I wouldn't hold my breath, old man," Jason chuckles, earning a glare from both Bruce and Damian. "It's not like you know how to shut up, Todd."

"Sorry, I don’t speak gremlin."

"That's bull Jay!"

"MOVIE IS STILL GOING ON! SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLES."

“I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE BUTLER.”

“Yes, yes, it has been publiced and noted, Birdie,” you giggle into Tim’s side, shaking your head. He wraps his arm around you, pressing a kiss into your hair, winking at you. “Does it count?” Tim asks over his shoulder. A look passes between him and Cass. “I don’t think so,” she says grinning.

“It so does! It’s one of the endings,” Dick protests vehemently. Jason’s mouth flattens then curls into a grin. “By that logic, the old man is right too.”

Dick thinks for a moment, tapping his chin. “Well, we can’t have that.”

“Why not?” Bruce protests.

"I'm still sticking with the butler. I'm sorry this is the only logical conclusion."

"He wasn't even an actual butler you butter brain!" Steph protests, throwing a pillow at Dick.

"I'm sorry but can we address why you're all mounting a mutiny against me?"

"Teenage rebellion!" Dick answers.

"Chum, you're not even a teenager."

"Father's right. At most, Grayson is five years old," Damian pipes from beside Dick seemingly unaffected by his brother's pout.

"Alfred, you're going to have to check my blood pressure before patrol."

"Quite, sir."

“They’re all so dramatic just like you said,” you whisper into Tim’s shoulder.

“I AM NOT DRAMATIC”

“Ah, yes, because the pretty man pose is so pragmatic.” Damian deadpan.

"That was one time, you assholes!"

"Hey, what else did Timmy say?"

"Well he- Oh wait!" You fish out your phone and Tim snacthes it away faster than you can blink. "No-" cough "-you don't." Cough.

Jason snatches it from him, snickering at the photo of Tim kissing you on the cheek. You're pretty sure Tim has a matching photo with you kissing him on the cheek. "Nice lockscreen, (y/n)."

"Oh, you should see the homescreen!"

"No. Please don't. You might need eye bleach."

"Relax Space Cadet, it’s not that one."

"Ohohoho, what didn't you want big daddy bats to see? Haaa, Timbo?"

Tim turns every shade of red before settling on fire hydrant red. "None of your business!"

Bruce clears his throat, looking at a stupidly expensive watch. “It’s time.” Dick springs up, stretching and showing off. “Is it really that time already?” Steph asks in almost a whine. Duke and Cass take the opportunity to shove her off and sadly, she lands with a loud thud and a mangled curse. You wince but laugh unsympathetically which simply earns you a face full of dust covered popcorn. You frown at her and she grins at you as Jason hauls her up by her hoodie. “C’mon Blondie. Let’s leave the love birds alone.”

“It’s not like they’re actually gonna be alone. Alfie’s here. So is Babs.”

“I’m going back to my place. You people give me a headache.”

“You say that like you weren’t having fun,” Dick teases, walking after her.

“I’ll be down in the cave if you need me,” Alfred says waving at both of you. “Will do, Alf,” Tim yawns, nuzzling into your hair.

Cass pops her head back in. “Make sure Tim doesn’t do anything stupid,” She calls back. You grin, bright and wolfish. “Don’t worry! He can’t do me while he’s sick.” You hear Bruce choke in the hall and you just know that you’ll mentally kick yourself for that later. Luckily for you, Tim physically kicks you now. “What the hell?!” Cough. “Sorry, got caught in the moment.” You huff, trying to look a little sorry. Tim just glares more. “You’re not even close to sorry.”

“Ok. Yeah.”

“I have no idea why I love you sometimes.”

“My amazing personality?”

“Sure.”

“Love you too, Tim,” you chirp, kissing him. Tim’s lips feel hot after the quick peck and he pulls you closer. “I love you but I was pretty sure my family was gonna eat you alive.”

“They would have done it,” you hum, pausing before adding, “respectfully.”

Tag list: @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes, @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-inkage, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell @hyp-oh-critical @glorified-red

#tim drake imagines #tim drake x reader #Tim Drake #batfamily x reader #batfam #reader insert #dc fanfiction #dc reader insert #bruce wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #dick grayson #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #batman #batfamily headcanon #batboys

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thr-333 · 3 years

Text

Drastic Measures- Part 7

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Chill~

Wrote it all in an hour and 20 minutes just about? Not bad, not bad at all.

Ao3

First< Previous

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“Why! Why does it have to be so cold!” Marinette pulls on her coat tighter.

“Why did you come if you’re just going to complain?” Damian scowls, looking over the list they were given.

“Dick asked me to,” Marinette shivers, “Besides I need to get out and see the city, you said you would show me,”

“I only agreed to this because Dick insisted I apologize for trying to kill you,”

“You were trying to kill me?”

“... No?”

“Damian,”

“Fine,” He pulls off the sweater he was wearing, the one she had made him, “My bad, now keep warm,”

“My bad is not an apology,” Marinette chides pulling the sweater on, “If you didn’t like the sweater you could have just said so,”

“That's not-” Damina turn to see her smirk, tutting then turning back around, “You're incorrigible,”

“Your apology is accepted,” Marinette giggles skipping slightly to catch up, she takes note of how he shivers as a gust of wind blows through, “Hey you're cold now right? I have an idea,”

“I’m not cold,” Damian snaps, picking up the pace, “Unlike you, I have more discipline than that,”

“Oh please, you grew up in the desert right?” Damian glares at her, “What? You think I didn’t know anything? Maman not as good at hiding things as she thinks she is,”

“Be careful where you say that,” He warns, they walk for a little while more the temperature dropping. Marinette continues to keep an incredulous eye on Damian. After ten minutes he sighs, “What's your idea?”

“It involves me getting on your back,”

“Not a chance,” Damian tuts, “You could stab me in the back,”

“Literally or figuratively?” Another glare but Marinette just smiles under it, “Fine then, I’ll just take this sweater off and we can both freeze,”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Damian snatches it off her, “I’ll just wear it,”

And so he does. They walk for a while longer Marinette simultaneously congratulating and cursing herself for picking such a warm fabric for Damian's sweater as she shivers in the cold Gotham winds. Her teeth are chattering and they are still a long way off from their destination. Marinette starts to slow down, ever since she had become ladybug her tolerance to the cold was lowering, like how Adrien's eyesight at night kept improving; although she probably got the short end of the stick for that one. Her thoughts are interrupted by a long suffered sigh from Damian.

“Fine, we’ll do your plan,”

“Really?!”

“If we actually want to get there today, yes,”

---

“This was your plan!” Damian shouts as they run down the street.

“It’s a great plan!’ Marinette clings to his back.

“Everyones staring,” Damian scowls, the sweater just big enough to stretch over both of them locking Marinette against his back.

“Then run faster!”

“Maybe if you stopped strangling me I would!”

“Oh please, stop being dramatic,”

“Why don't you start running and we’ll see whos being dramatic!”

“I could probably get there before you!”

“Yeah right, you-”

“Wait! Wait! Go back!” Marinette tugs, Damian lets out a choked sound stopping as he brings his hands up to remove hers.

“What,” He is unable to get her off with the sweater around them both.

“Pet store,” Marinette shimmies down, managing to get out with some difficulty, “Look how cute- wait,”

“Where are you going!” Damian calls as she storms into the pet store, he trails reluctantly behind her. Marinette walks right up to the desk slamming her hand down.

“Excuse me are you in charge of this store?”

“I’m the manager, yes,” The man raises an eyebrow looking up from his newspaper.

“Are you aware that the enclosure out there is filthy?”

“Animals get dirty,”

“It’s a health code violation,” Marinette scolds, “You're going to make the animals sick,”

“Tt, she’s right,” Damian looks around the store, the rest of the cages in even worse condition, “Just what sort of business do you think you're running? These are live animals, you can’t even see into the fish tank at this point,”

“I’ve followed company policy,” The manger huffs, going back to the newspaper adding a mocking, “So if you want to take it up with anyone take it up with them,”

“Oh I will,” Damian hisses, before going to the other end of the store intently tapping at his phone.

“Ha, have fun getting bounced around the phones for the next ten hours,” The manager barks, Marinette rolls her eyes turning back to him.

“Look it may not be required by your employer but try to have some compassion these are living creatures, they look miserable,”

“Well then, why don’t you buy them if they look so miserable,”

“That's not the root of the problem and you know it,” Marinette reasons with the unreasonable, “You’ll just replace them with more animals, this place isn’t fit for that,”

She could just feel the negative energy coming from the place, a place of suffering for those who had no way out. Her magic had perked the animals up a bit but that wouldn't solve the problems at hand. Not that any of this seemed to get through to the manager as Marinette kept arguing. She brought up her phone and articles to help support her argument. Only finding to her disdain that the pet store franchise itself had a long history of animal abuse, that this was the norm, not an exception. They just threw money at any lawsuit that came their way and bribing inspectors.

“Why are you even working here if you hate-”

“Excuse me,” A new customer walks up, Damian close behind, “Could I look-”

“Do whatever you like!” The manager snaps, “Can’t you see I’m busy here?!”

“Do you treat all your customers like this? No wonder your not getting any business if the facilities alone didn’t scare people off,” Marinette finally snaps. Damian, dare she say looks impressed, which probably isn’t a good sign.

“You’re insulting me now?”

“I’ve been insulting you the past hour, nice of you to catch on,”

From there it devolves into a full argument. They rage while Damian and the other customer poke around the store, talking to each other. Damian keeps on making calls and Marinette wishes he would stop and come help back her up, he seemed just as disgusted with this place as she was. But whenever she sends a look his way Damian just brushes her off going back to his call.

The argument escalates. Marinette's magic lashing out, subconsciously sending the animals into a frenzy. Barks and howls ring out mixed with cat yowls and whatever noise the other animals can manage.

“Quiet down you!” The manager roars, winding up to hit a puppy yapping at him, Marinette moves just a fraction of a second too slow.

“How dare you,” Damian catches the fist, twisting the arm in a painful unnatural position, “You’re fired,”

“You can’t fire me!” He struggles in Damian's grip, who in turn looks completely unfazed by the effort.

“Actually I can,” Damina flips his screen around to show a contract, “I just brought the company,”

“You what?!” Both Marinette and the manager shout at the same time.

“Yes well, it was easy enough to get in touch with the president of the company, when I put in my offer he laughed me off,” Damian shrugs letting the shell shocked man go, “So I called in one of our best lawyers,”

Damian nods to the other customer, who nods back.

“She built a case for us compiling evidence from this store, thank you for full access by the way,” Damian looks smugly at the manager gaping like a fish, “Other lawyers were in charge of inspecting other stores and researching past allegations, and I had some working internationally look at the branches in other countries, the results were not flattering,”

Damian's glare turns cold and piercing. Marinette had been on the receiving end of that glare and would like to think she handled it better than this guy was.

“Couple that all with the declarations I recorded from you arguing with Marinette,” Damina inclines his head to her, Marinette nods kind of dumbly, “And we had quite the case to shut the business down, you can guarantee the Wayne influence and lawyers would prevent this all from being swept under the rug,”

“Wayne?!”

“Yes, and as you can imagine after we sent through the case file the owner wasn't laughing me off the phone, he agreed to my price,” The man was sweating buckets now as Damian advanced looming over him, “The contracts aren't finalized or signed yet but you can guarantee by the end of the week I will own this place,”

Damian leans over him as the manager tries to sink into the floor.

“So. You. Are. Fired.”

---

“So are you going to teach me the glare that makes grown men pee their pants and run for their lives or do I have to figure it out myself?” Marinette teases, picking through the stocks in the back.

“You wouldn't be able to pull it off,” Damian shoots back, taking the bag she hands him, “An emergency demand was put out for new workers, they’ll be here soon to do this,”

“Oh no you don’t you little rich boy,” Marinette laughs at the face he makes, “You don’t just get to roll through here, throw some money at it and expect your job to be done, you took this company on so show a little responsibility,”

“I am taking responsibility,” Damian scowls, “I fully plan on improving this place,”

“What? By hiring someone to take over with the vague demands of ‘make it better’?” Damian sour look is all the answer she needs, “No way, this is your own responsibility and no one else's, so you need to take a long hard look at what's wrong and figure out how to fix it,”

“If I recall this all is partly your fault,” Damian stacks another bag where she told him too.

“If I recall I didn’t tell you to buy an entire pet store franchise,” Not that she didn’t approve, “But fine, I’ll help you out if you want,”

“I didn’t say that,”

“You didn’t have to,” Damian huffs and looks away, Marinette smiles and picks up a bag of food, “First things first, the food is horrible quality, it’s all filler with little nutritional value,”

“I’ll order new stock right away,” Damian takes out his phone, Marinette snatches it from him.

“Hold on now,” Damian gives her that little put off look she finds adorable, “You have to look at all the problems first then make a plan of action or you're just running around like a headless chicken,”

“Your point?”

“The staff are also underpaid, it’s not enough to live off and certainly not enough to motivate a good work ethic,” Marinette hands back the phone, Damian pockets it, “So before you go around firing everyone that's ever worked here why don’t you try changing the bones of the company then picking out the bad seeds?”

“Alright,” Damian concedes, “... You have a point,”

“Was that tough to admit?”

“The only excruciating part of it is your smugness,”

“Why hello kettle,” Damina gives her a light glare but she just laughs it off.

“All these changes are going to be expensive,” Damian frowns looking through the statistics the lawyers had sent them, “The company was already falling into debt,”

“It needs a hook,” Marinette hums, “Something new and unique that no other chain has…. I got it!!”

She brushes past him, going for her sketchbook and starting the brainstorming process.

“Would you like to share your epiphany?” Damian asks after about five minutes of watching her sketch. “An exclusive pet clothesline!”

“Oh boy,”

---

“See I was right wasn't I?” Marinette finishes fixing the outfit onto Titus.

“I was under the impression you were going to make something vapid and ridiculous,” Damian deflects, looking at the raincoat Marinette had made for Titus, it fit him perfectly and worked well with his fur color as well, “This is at least useful,”

“Wow, that might be a bigger compliment than ‘it’s well made’ or is it?” Marinette cocks her head to the side, “Should I start a ‘Damian's compliments’ tier list?”

“Do not,” Damian calls Titus back to him, taking off the raincoat, “This should at least partly help make up for the new expenses,”

“What changes should we make first?” Marinette follows Damian inside, already sketching new designs into her book.

“There's no point in launching the pet clothes until the company goes through its rebrand, and that will take some time anyway,” They settle in a study they had commandeered to work together in, a sewing machine up near the window, “By the way whats your design fee?"

“Hm… make me a co-owner and we’ll forget about the design fee,” Marinette smiles as Damian doesn't immediately look disgusted by the prospect, “Besides If I recall this is partly my fault,”

“Fine co-owner,” Damian rolls his eyes at her, “I guess we’ll be drafting a new contract,”

“Make sure our shares are 50/50,”

“80/20,”

“Awe you’d let me have 80%”

Damian gives her a withering glare with no heat.

“50/50,” Marinette holds out her hand, “Equal,”

“... Equal,” Damian takes her hand, “You better design a lot of clothes,”

“Already on it,” Marinette holds up her new sketchbook, dedicated to just this, “Plus I’ll be part of the planning so let me in on it,”

“I was-” Damian cuts off glaring towards the door, Marinette follows his eye to see Dick and Adrien caught like deer in headlights looking at them with phones held up.

“Adrien!” Marinette starts towards them getting overtaken by Damian as they both start sprinting.

“Delete it or I destroy your phone!” He threatens, chasing them down the hall.

“Already backed it up to several computers!” Dick calls back, disappearing around the corner, the three yells disappearing into the distance. Marinette chuckles to herself, going back to finish up her designs.

--------

No tag list :P

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #MLB #ML #ml fic #Marinette #miraculous marinette #badass marinette #maribat #daminette

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weasleyslag · 3 years

Text

me and your girlfriend (fred weasley x f! reader)

summary: You're tired of waiting around for Fred to get his act together while he parades other girls around you, so you try to move on. Fred is unreasonably upset by this and tries his darndest to scare your new boyfriend off.

wc: 3063

warning(s): 18+ (not smut, but several mentions of sex), jealously, lowkey toxic relationship (don’t worry, it mostly gets resolved in the end)

a/n: this is my first HP fic I’ve written since I was like 8 years old so I am so sorry if you stumble upon this. Also, I noticed that most of the writing perspective is third person using y/n but the last fandom I wrote for, almost everyone wrote in second person, so I’m in the habit now. I’ll try to change that in the future.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30625835

“George, Georgie!!!” You called as you ran into the Gryffindor boys’ bedroom.

“Yeah?” George responded, looking up from his trunk of clothes.

“You will never guess what happened earlier!”

“Moody’s coffee had a hair growth potion in it. That was me.” He told you smugly.

You rolled your eyes. “Not that. That wasn’t nearly your best prank. You’ve been slacking, Weasley.” You slapped your friend on the back.

“Fred’s been distracted. He’s been with a new girl named… hmm what was it… Natalie? Natalia? It’s hard to keep track.” George explained, not trying too hard to disguise his dismay in his brother for slacking when it came to pranks.

“I can’t believe there’s another one. He just met someone else last week. And now there’s her too…” Your words trailed off. You really didn’t want to sound jealous but it was hard not to. George knew your feelings for Fred, Fred knew, Hell, Natalie (or Natalia) probably knew. It wasn’t really a secret.

George, wanting to relieve your discomfort, tried changing the subject. “So what was it that I can’t believe?”

“Lloyd Baker asked me out! He picked me flowers and everything.”

George let out a whistle. “Heard he’s a catch within the Ravenclaw house. He suits you. Kind and smart and-“

“And not Fred.” You finished your friend’s sentence for him.

“That’s not what I was going to say but yeah. I know you care about him but he’s being an ass to you. I think it’s good for you to explore your options. Don’t tell him I said that, though. Don’t fancy getting my ass beat.” George patted you on the shoulder.

You nodded. “I just hope I can get over Fred so this relationship can be healthy. Lloyd is great but I’m not even sure if I like him. I don’t really have eyes for anyone but Fred. You know that.”

“Fake it until you make it.” George shrugged.

George may not have had a problem with you being semi-fake in your new relationship but you sure did. Lloyd was a nice guy and you didn’t want to hurt him in an attempt to get over Fred. But you’d already agreed to go out so you supposed you’d take it as you went.

The next week went by like a fairytale. Lloyd walked you to every class, brought you sweets when you were craving them, and listened attentively to every word you said. You were starting to think that this was actually going to work out.

Spending all this time with your new boyfriend meant that you weren’t seeing your friends very often. You weren’t planning on that becoming commonplace, but you thought it wasn’t that weird to spend most of your time with your boyfriend considering this was all so new. You still saw your friends at least a couple of times a day, talking to Lee, Angelina, or George in passing. You saw very little of Fred, which was a little odd. The two times you saw him over the course of the week, however, he winked when he caught your eye before quickly scurrying off. You were convinced that Fred was trying to make this as hard on you as possible.

It was the weekend and you had decided it was time for your friends to officially meet your boyfriend. You weren’t really worried about what Lee, Angelina, Alicia, or George would think. The tall, kind faced boy was a perfect match for you, at least on paper. You were a little scared to think what Fred might do, though. Although to your understanding, he was bringing Nadine (you had been wrong about her name this whole time) to this Hogsmeade's meetup so he didn’t have any right to step out of line when he met Lloyd.

You squeezed Lloyd’s hand before walking into The Three Broomsticks.

“You okay?” You asked him.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He looked at you quizzically.

Oh, ok. He wasn’t nervous at all. So you were the only one that’s heartbeat was out of control. You weren’t the one that should be nervous, but for some reason you still were. Well, you knew the reason. Your stupid bastard best friend Fred Weasley.

You two stepped through the doors of the establishment. “I need to go to the bathroom real quick before we get started. You’ll be alright, yeah?” You looked up at your boyfriend, searching for any sign of unease.

“Yeah. I’ll just look around and when you come back you can introduce me to your friends.” He flashed you a dazzling smile and you skipped off to the bathroom. Little did you know, that was a huge mistake.

Fred had not taken his eyes off of you since you had walked in. Everyone else at the table felt uncomfortable, knowing from Fred’s scowl that he was about to make a scene. Nadine tried desperately to try to get her date’s attention, but he just waved her off.

“In a minute, love.” He faltered at the term of endearment. It felt forced.

He didn’t even know why he had invited Nadine to The Three Broomsticks. He had been seeing red ever since George had first informed him that you were seeing Lloyd. The Gryffindor boys would have been deaf to not hear the shouting match that occurred in the boys’ bedroom the night that he had been told. Fred was mad that George encouraged you to date Lloyd and George was mad that Fred had been such a dick to you lately, parading girls around like you two didn’t have a “thing”. He guessed that he had invited Nadine along today in an attempt to one up you and make you jealous but he knew that wouldn’t work anymore. You were beyond that point. He would just have to have a word with Lloyd to let him know exactly where Fred stood.

Fred walked over to Lloyd. When Lloyd noticed him, he gave him a warm smile, the likes of which Fred did not reciprocate.

“Fred Weasley. Can’t believe we’ve never met. I mean you must be real important to my bug, but I can’t say I’ve ever even heard her talk about you.” Fred told the boy coldly.

Lloyd shifted back and forth uncomfortably “Your what?”

“My bug. A term of endearment. You wouldn’t understand.”

“It’s cool that you and her are so close, I guess.” Lloyd didn’t know what else to say.

Fred chuckled at Lloyd’s visible uncomfortableness, not saying anything else for a moment before getting a wickedly awful yet brilliant (in his mind) idea. An idea to make sure Lloyd got the message that you were meant to be Fred’s, not some heartthrob Ravenclaw prat’s.

“Say Lloyd, did you know that my dad works for the Ministry? He works in proximity to Muggle culture. So I know all about Muggles.”

“Okay…” Lloyd responded, unsure of where Fred was going with this.

“Wanna know my favorite Muggle song at the moment?”

Lloyd nodded, desperate to ease the tension.

“It’s called Slumber Party by some girl named Ashnikko. My favorite lyrics are,” Fred accentuated what he said next, not keeping a melodious tune but rather just speaking as if he was informing Lloyd of something, “Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house. I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch.” He gave a sickly smile when he finished what he was saying.

It didn’t take a genius to understand what Fred was getting at. Lloyd immediately understood. Why the Hell would you start dating him when you were so clearly involved with Fred?!? Lloyd didn’t know quite what to say.

“I- what?”

“Thought Ravenclaw’s were supposed to be smart,” Fred snorted. “One word from me and she’ll be leaving you in the dust. Trust me, mate.” Fred’s eyes grew huge as he heard you exiting the restroom and he ran over to where he had been sitting before and put his arm around Nadine like nothing had happened. Everyone at the table had heard the discussion and looked at Fred in shock, besides George who glared at him with disgust.

“Okay I’m back!” You grabbed Lloyd’s arm and were surprised when he pulled away from you a bit.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him.

“Nothing.” Lloyd lied straight through his teeth.

“Okay…” You replied, uneasy. Nevertheless, you guided him over to the table where your friends were seated.

“Lloyd these are my friends. Angelina, my best girl friend. The Gryffindor team captain and the best Chaser I’ve ever met.” Angelina beamed at the words. “Lee, he’s annoying but he’s hopelessly in love with me so he gets to stay.” Lee choked on his drink before flicking you off. “Alicia, best giver of advice in the universe.” Alicia gave a small smile and a wave at Lloyd. “This is Nadine, I don’t know her very well but she’s a very sweet girl.” Nadine nodded and thanked you for your kind words. “And my best friends since first year, Fred and George.”

“The very best!” Fred beamed and you smiled at him. You were glad he was taking this so well. Maybe it was for the best that you both moved on, not that you were too sure if he had ever properly fancied you in the first place.

“I wish you could meet Oliver but he’s long gone now. We’re still super tight, though.”

“Yep, she’s super tight… with Oliver” Fred stared directly at Lloyd, who was looking at him, mortified.

The crude joke, however, went straight over your head and you just smiled at Fred. You couldn’t help the butterflies you felt in your stomach when you looked at him but you still tried to push them aside. You were blissfully unaware of the air of discomfort around the table. Fred and you practically ignored the others for two hours while you talked about anything and everything under the sun.

“I think it’s time for us to go.” Lloyd suddenly announced, pulling you two out of a Quidditch discussion.

“Aww really? Already?�� You pouted at Lloyd but he just looked at you stonefaced. You had no idea what you were thinking but it couldn’t be good.

“Don’t worry, we can continue this discussion tonight, bug!” Fred told you, winking. You winked back at him playfully, not even noticing that Lloyd had let go of your hand entirely and Nadine had removed Fred’s arm from her shoulders.

“Ok, see you in the common room then!”

“The common room. Sure.” Fred said sarcastically. You found yourself confused, not understanding what he meant. But the words had hit exactly who they were meant for.

Lloyd practically dragged you outside and began walking swiftly back towards Hogwarts. You kept asking him what was wrong but he wouldn’t answer you. He speed walked all the way back to the castle, with you trying your best to keep up with him. Once you reached the gardens, he finally let everything he had been feeling go.

“Why are you going out with me when you’re so obviously with Fred?” he huffed.

“I’m not. Fred’s with Nadine.” You told him, very puzzled. But deep down, you still felt caught. Maybe he had caught on that you had feelings for Fred, even though those feelings were unreciprocated, or at least if there were feelings on Fred’s part, he wasn’t taking it very seriously.

“Yeah, right. That’s not what Fred said.”

“What are you talking about? Fred didn’t say anything to you.”

“Yes he did. While you were in the bathroom. He basically said that you two had a wild sex life and if he asked you to, you’d immediately drop me. And and-“ Lloyd ran out of things to say but he continued huffing and puffing.

“I have never slept with Fred.” You scoffed, ignoring the last part of Lloyd’s sentiment because you knew it was true.

“So he’s never eaten you out? Because he said that. Or at least strongly indicated it. And his comment about you being tight...” Lloyd’s eyes pleaded for you to tell the truth.

“No! I’ve never done that with anyone, promise. I haven’t done anything with him besides kiss him.” You were telling the truth, but Lloyd seemed dismayed that you had even kissed the boy before.

“Why’d you kiss him? Doesn’t seem like something that people who are just friends do.”

“I don’t know. I was just bummed out that I had never kissed anyone before. It wasn’t a big deal. And that was forever ago.”

Lloyd seemed slightly put at ease by that sentiment.

“So you haven’t kissed him in a really long time, then? And he’s just being an ass for no reason?”

“Being an ass for no reason? Yes. And I’ll talk to him about it. He’s totally crossed a line. I can’t just not be friends with him but he can’t say shit like that. But uh, the years ago thing, that was just the first time we kissed. Uhhh it’s been more than once.” You faltered, looking down at your shoes.

“So when was the last time?” Lloyd demanded.

“When did you ask me out?”

“Last Friday.”

“Errr that Thursday night then. But I haven’t done it since. I would never cheat.” You said honestly.

“Seriously? Look, you’re a nice girl and all but you clearly have an unresolved relationship with your friend and it’s just not healthy for me or you,” And so it went. You knew by his words that he was breaking up with you. You knew he was right but you were still royally pissed at Fred for ruining everything. “I could tell you’re in love with him just by the way you spoke to him today. And he-well he certainly feels something for you.”

“A possessive bugger, he is.” You agreed, trying to remain as lighthearted as you could while you fought back tears. You should just face it, you were never going to get over Fred Weasley.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But this is all too much of a mess for me. I’m sure you understand. I umm,,, I wish the best for you.” Lloyd said awkwardly before disappearing into the castle. And just like that, your first proper (albeit short) relationship had ended.

You ran to the Gryffindor girls’ bedroom to find Angelina, tears streaming down your face (the tears not so much because of being broke up with but because of the fact that apparently Fred thought it was appropriate to dictate your dating life while he could screw the whole school). Of course, Angelina wasn’t there. She was probably still at Hogsmeade. You needed to talk to somebody. You could probably confide in Hermione if you really needed to but she was in a fight with Ron and you didn’t want to add any more bad energy to her life at the moment. And Ginny, well you were afraid she might slaughter Fred.

Hoping that George had happened to walk back before the others, you called into the Gryffindor boys’ room.

“George? Are you in there?” You sniffled.

“Come in, love.” Your heart sank. It was Fred, not George.

“I don’t want to speak to you right now.” You told him coldly, walking into the room anyway.

“So you heard about my little stunt then?” He chuckled before looking over at your tear stained face. “No, bug, come here.” He grabbed you into a hug and you immediately started crying harder and pushing against him. He was stronger than you and wasn’t letting you go, however.

“I hate you, I really do. I know you’re going to say I don’t mean that but I do.” You cried, hiccupping at the end.

“But you don’t mean it. I’m sorry.” He kissed your forehead.

“Don’t do that, damn it!” You rubbed your hand over your forehead in an attempt to undo the action. “Why did you say all that to Lloyd today?”

“I was jealous.” He admitted.

“And you don’t think I’m jealous of Nadine?” You asked angrily. What was with Fred and his double standards?

“Don’t worry about that. I broke it off with her. She wasn’t too happy with me, anyway. I shouldn’t have even brought her today. I was just trying to one up you. But it just hurt everyone involved.”

“You breaking up with her doesn’t make everything better. It definitely doesn’t mean we’re going to go back to the way we were before.” You tried to break away from him again and this time you were successful.

“I don’t want things to be the way they were before.” Fred said quietly. You weren’t even sure you heard him right.

“What?” You asked, feeling a jab at your heart. You had just said that it wasn’t going to be like that anymore but hearing that he didn’t even want you anymore hurt profusely.

“I want it to be more than that. I know it’s gonna take a while to get there. I’ve really shown my ass.” He hung his head low.

“And not in a good way.” You giggled.

“See, that’s my girl!” He smiled.

“Don’t think that gets you out of hot water, Weasley.”

“‘Course not. I’ve been a proper idiot. But I’ll make it up to you over time.” Maybe against your better judgment, you let him kiss you. “I was scared for some reason.” He continued.

“Scared?”

“Yeah. Felt suffocated. I don’t want to end up just like my parents. Meeting someone so young and never experiencing anything else and getting a boring old job and doing that for the rest of my life. But I was focused on the wrong stuff. I can make my life different in so many different ways than going through a fuckboy phase. I really care about you, you know? And I want to be with you.”

“We’ll figure this out. Besides, I hate seeing you be so heavy with stuff. Where’s the silly boy I love?”

“You love?” Fred cocked an eyebrow and smiled wide.

“Oh come on, it’s just a phrase.”

“I think you’re psychologically trying to tell yourself that you love me.” He squeezed you and kissed your cheek. “Can’t wait to be with you good and proper.”

“One rule: don’t tell everyone about our sex life. We don’t even have one yet and you’re already telling people about it.”

“Noted.”

#fred weasley #fred weasly x reader #george weasley #angelina johnson #lee jordan #hp #harry potter #harry potter fic

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