#its kind of about me thats the fucking problem

[its-anarchy-asshole]

I'm so fucking tired.

#lily brought up 'breaking up' #that took me way off guard #i didnt even think of that #i dont want that #i cant do that #im just #i cant stand being fucking lied to #i cant stand this #should i be greatful #am i just an unreasonable dick for not being greatful #because im not im fucking upset #i feel like im never not going to be uoset #im fucking hurt #'its not about you right now' the whole goddamn fucking thing is because of me #its kind of about me thats the fucking problem

[wiggly-round-worm]

I’ll be honest i HATE the way the QSMP fanbase is treating Gegg and Tallulah. Like Gegg literally just appears, bro hasn’t done a single thing and people start talking about how they want him to die 😭 ?? And Tallulah starts feeling insecure trough no fault of Gegg and the Gegg tag just EXPLODES with hate. I’m a big petty baby and i don’t like seeing /neg in the tags bro. It just kinda feels like tallulahs the golden child who can do no wrong and Geggs the scapegoat who’s blamed for everything, and i feel like people are already taking it too far

#Gegg #QSMP #worm do rant #I can't belive im ranting about minecraft egg roleplay #To be honest i really relate to the whole seeking love an affection thing #so the first gegg stream was kind of like emotionally comforting almost #and then this gegg stream was fucking awful ngl #like its super funny #but seeing how people reacted to gegg made me upset #Also? geniunely starting to not like Tallulah #just by assosiation #don't like seeing her treated as the golden child at geggs expense #this might all sound rlly stupid but im off my meds and i need to be emotionally invested in something that has no consaquence over my life #because if i focus on my actual problems im gonna kay em ess #HE DID FLOW UP TILINS ROOM THATS FUCKED UP #but aside from that? bros innocent #i support geggs rights and geggs wrongs

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently??? #like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought #that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made #easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway #so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in #but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse #even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders #to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting #worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING #THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD #i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing #i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact #its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt #yapping #adhd

[suffarustuffaru]

Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.

Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.

*head in hands*

no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T

because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.

because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).

but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????

the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.

and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.

and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…

which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo

but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!

additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.

anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please

#rezero #ask #yeah sorry this response was so long wkdndnd but yeah ive been thinking on this for a while… #like ottos a very key side character thats given a lot of focus and yet hes?? largely ignored in english fanbase #but also rezero is a special case i feel bc for some reason a LOT of people misread it so easily. all the time. even fans thatve made it to #arc 8. why???? T^T rezero is so divisive i feel and for what??????? why?????? why do people miss this the story makes it obvious what its #about??? not to mention the LITERAL anime episode called THATS WHAT THIS WHOLE STORY IS ABOUT WNDNDN #tappei basically slamming u in the face with otto being fucked up fr too HAH…. #its like ottos falling into almost the same kind of stuff that rems perception by some people does. which is u know ignoring her problemati #traits of Being Obsessed With Subaru. shes a loyal ‘waifu’ and ottos a loyal friend but he cant be waifuified so easily and hes not front #and center in the sense that rem was also the second main love interest skdndnd #which i think might be the common fandom problem also of overly focusing on romance bc people notice rems loyalty more than they do otto at #this rate. bc rems the waifu. ottos only the friend. hes ‘less important’. #its interesting to me. bc why??? with other characters ppl either erase all the good or the bad out of them but with otto hes just in stasi #hes just kind of. there. #rip otto the bad luck made him cursed to always be in the background #it just confuses me so much T^T the difference between jp fandoms perception of otto vs english fandom is STAGGERING #otto suwen #the other day i accidentally got dragged into an argument on reddit bc someone tried to correct me on otto and i was like ?????? WHAT SANE #PERSON DOES ANY OF THE STUFF ARC 7-8 OTTOS DOING…??? #they were like ‘otto wouldnt do anything for subaru’ and i was like ‘lmao whys he trying to have louis killed then 😭😭😭😭’ #‘whyd he try to let 50 million ppl die then?? 😭😭’ #‘WHY DID HE DIE FOR SUBARU THEN’ #like ottos not gonna indulge subaru with everything thats not what i mean by he would do anything for subaru. he would do anything as in he #would sacrifice so much for subaru. but some people just see subaru doing it then ignore otto trying to do the same thing but in a differen #font???

[good-beans]

.

#not really a vent - just a quick thought before i sleep but like. #i keep thinking about that post #theres no way ill find it now but the gist was that 'joy is a warning bell to neurodivergent brains' #and how when we feel joy it means we've loosened up and that always leads to a problem -- #whether its getting to be Too Much or saying the wrong thing or even just getting physically loose and clumsy #but it conditions the brain to see joy as something to fear #because relaxing means we're about to fuck something up #and ive been doing so well this year keeping up with and calling people #ive felt more social lately #literally everyone has been so incredibly kind to me and i want to express how grateful i am and how much i love you all #but every time i try to i get so choked up with fear #with each wave of happiness comes one of chest-squeezing fear #im not super upset or anything (its nice to know why its happening) i just wish i knew how to unlearn it ya know 🤷‍♀️ #thats all - time to sleep #its so late -_- #awww its my pals birthday now!! earth day birthday :') too late rn but ill text him when i get up #rose rambles

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[frostedpuffs]

It's 2022 and people are still giving unsolicited critique in the comments of fanfic

Surprise babe fanfic authors write stories as a hobby and it literally doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) perfect bc we do this for free

The audacity

Just a reminder that if someone isn't asking for critique on their work, it's pretty fucking rude to give it

I do this for fun. Not bc I'm trying to get a good grade in AP Lit or some shit. I'm writing ppu specifically to be fun and NOT PERFECT because the stress of making stories perfect kills the fun for me.

I'm doing this for fun. And the instant it stops becoming fun for me I won't do it anymore

#text post #and like if youre going to critique at least offer a SOLUTION to the problem because thats what critique is #commenting about something you dislike and then not suggesting a way to make it better is pointless #fuck outta here #this kind of shit makes me so mad #because i put so much love into my stories #and im already a huge perfectionist #and having someone do that just...makes me frustrated. #because i do this for free. #and its not like i cant handle critique. i can. i was an art student #but ppu is something i wrote specifically to be fun and to Not be Perfect #and yall are lucky im even sharing this story at all #im just annoyed. what a thing to wake up to

[deus-and-the-machina]

ngl the worst thing about the xenoblade fandom (which I think is the root cause of a lot of other issues) is that it’s mostly on twitter. I have to subject myself to twitter for any real consistent fan talk or content. legit there's always some new stupid topic of argument ive noticed in the past few weeks on there and its all very silly and frustrating and what im saying is everyone should move to Tumblr. please. for me. 

#siren says #the other root problem in the fandom is that as of 2 there's just a lot of fans who are clearly there for sexy anime lady reasons. and that #in turn bleeds into certain peoples perception of those characters as mostly sex symbols and attracts a lot of...certain kinds of #individuals. specifically ones who dont really understand what fandoms basic principals are. the amount of times ive seen someone going "um #but thats not canon or some comment along those lines is so stupidly high. and I thought it was just homophobia and certainly part of it is #but I also saw it on a fucking glimmer/nikol art??? like. neither of them have any other love interests and its a perfectly cute if cliche #pairing and you STILL have people being contrarian? I think a lot of these gamer bro types just dont understand basic fandom guidelines ngl #and idk I also feel kind of alienated from other queer fans bc I kind of like some of the ships most of them hate and I felt like if I ever #tried to reach out it would just be awkward idk. at least the people I see on tw who I think are very cool writers or artists or whatever #xenoblade really should be bigger on here Tumblr goes on and on about the romanticization of cannibalism and weird divine imagery #and machines that are also alive and maybe even angels and im like. BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A SERIES FOR YOU #including saga and gears btw ESPECIALLY them actually. tumblr would love A's gender fuckery I just know it but A is stuck to mostly being #known by twitter a cruel fate for an enby if I ever saw one. free A :((((( #actually I just need to get a bunch of Aros into xenoblade they'd understand me then :3 understand me and my nontraditional relationship hcs #xenoblade #putting this in the main tags o7 pray for me

[bl00dw1tch]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

#horse.txt #vent // #sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk #anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember #from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore. #bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like #made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them #but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it #doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge #that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs. #which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely! #but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues #so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig #EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet. #sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore #i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭 #its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back #bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝 #at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos #still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn #sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this #the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall #i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious #thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now #alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post #daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty. #😎😎😎💪💪💪 #the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket

[sirompp]

the way some of you guys talk about ai is um. kind of concerning? like you know image generation and chatgpt arent the only kinds of ais in the world right.

#i feel like im swinging at a wasps nest with this one but #the way some of you guys declare your passionate hatred for any and all ai. its um. worrying to me? #like yes there is a lot of ethical problems. with the two kinds of ai people seem to fuckin know about #There Are So Many Other Kinds Of Ai (Which Have Their Own DIFFERENT Ethical Problems) #like agi (artificial general intelligence) #agi is like what everyone used to think about when they talked about ai. the kind thats supposed to become like. ''sentient'' #ok well not sentient but. thats supposed to be able to learn how a human can #i dont know. is this a weird thing for me to feel iffy about. #is it too early for me to be worrying were gonna invent a whole new kind of bigotry #im pretty sure we're eventually gonna make an ai thats indistinguishable from humans in like. a Living way #not a The Kinds Of Things It Makes Look So Normal way #why do i think this? bc i am an optimist and have wanted this to happen since i was an itty bitty baby. and if we dont ill be sad #people saying ai should be like. outlawed bc of what corporations are doing is so wild to me. #like imagine every day you go to school you and your friends get beaten up with baseball bats #and you decide baseball must be banned from the school bc of how many people the bats harm daily #instead of thinking for a moment and realizing. maybe the fucking jocks who r hitting you need to be expelled instead of the sport #that the bats came from. #does that metaphor make sense. #or am i making up a guy to get mad at #i dont know. #i might delete this later

[meateater-lamb]

(dont read the tags actually)

#vent #god this year has been so fucking hard man #and things have been so strained with my friend #and i love them so much. theyre my best friend. but at this point are they? #cause they just keep getting pissed at me over everything #and acting really weird #and theyve just. turned into this unendingly angry and negative person to the point i feel like i can barely talk to them anymore #they are so short tempered which i mean they always have been but just not with ME yknow #like they for ten years were always so kind to me and weve always gotten along well #until the last like year #and i know theyre in a bad place but jesus theyve made it so hard to even hold a conversation anymore #and i mean i think things will get better if they can get out of their current situation. i really think we can go back to normal but just. #not til then. cause they seem like the only coping mechanism they use is pure fucking anger #and now theyve started directing it at me and im just. getting tired. #i cant tell if they are purposely pushing me away or not. but thats whats happening either way. #and its awful bc i just feel like its all my fault. like im not good enough #im not helpful enough im too annoying im just. not good enough care about anymore #they make me feel like none of my problems are important anymore and like i shouldnt even mention it if im struggling #meanwhile all they do is vent and rant and im really really tired but i dont think i can say anything #im trying to open myself up to being social with people other than them again. #they used to be my best safe space but now they arent anymore #but im still going to be there for them the best i can cause they dont deserve to be abandoned when theyre struggling #but i just hope they can get in a better place and idk. realize theyre kinda being a dick all the time #ugh idk #dont read this shit i just need to get my thoughts straight idk. #i was scrollin when i started thinkin abt this thats the only reason im writin on here abt it #probably gonna delete it in an hour anyway #moon

[fangirltothefullest]

I mean I get not knowing. The only way I ever know is if the og post was tagged as radfem or something. It shows up in filtered that way. But like... why be annoyed someone pointed it out politely? Deleting is easy and there's a million other cat videos from no transphobes

Y'all missed the point a bit my friend

#its not the polite people that are the problem #its the consistant bombardment of several anonymous people coming into my askbox being genuine assholes about it #its the people pointing fingers being likw well fuck you you should have known better #its the entitlement #like yeah do we want to reblog from an asshole no #but its gonna happen #and if it happened four days ago how in the hell is a person supposed to even know what theyre talking about or referencing #its the fact that its not just hey heads up that person is kinda shitty #its the wow you must be a fucking monster for even daring to reblog from a terf #like dude i reblog sometimes a hundred things in a row #i look at none of them #if yall are kind enough to tell me and give evidence or whatever then sure #but just being an wntitled di k on your high horse about it? #yeah thats the part that needs to chill

[strwbrymlkshake]

LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND

#mine #🎸 #vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever #the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH #why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS #i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work #idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to #learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW #love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!! #if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!! #if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this #so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just #make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do #and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely #i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_– #everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings #if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this #im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane

[stellernorth]

oh noooo

#fuck my life #ive said before his stutter just kills me how it gets more and more prominent over the seasons #(i feel like that's sometimes weird to say/talk about? but i've had problems w having a stutter in certain contexts so im thinking about wh #what its been like for me) #and the way hes like laughing through this monologue which is the saddest thing youve ever fucking heard #then hes like 'i don't knwo what im going to do' and looks out the window and makes this face #thats kind of desperate and hopeless #supernatural ending where sam just fucking disappears after this episode T B H !!!! #post i made #sam winchester #spn s15e4

[toytulini]

hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

#toy txt post #wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them #thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM #I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN #i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which #felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help? #to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up #but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or #like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented #maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits #and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe #we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being #too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how #to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming #logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various #medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us. #i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites #hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track #i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare #at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly #p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that #i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol #like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was #slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything #to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them #but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear #over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed #i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it #candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately

[maxthesillyy]

pov: you catch me thinking about the bay ending a little too much

#ive been having some thoughts #like yeah its accepting what you did but its also #“whoops i did a bad thing now im just gonna erase it and deal with less consequences” ((horrible simplified i just did btw)) #y’know?? #its also just so cruel to max and chloe #the fact that its undeniably canon makes me want to kill #i wouldnt say that the bay ending is more sad. but more cruel and tragic. #tragic as in chloe dies thinking that nobody loves her and max is forced to live with all the trauma with no one to share it with PLUS #now she has no chloe in her life #which is a whole other in the tags spiral on its own #god the fact that max cant share that shit with anyone lest she get put in a fucking psych ward or smth #the most she can talk about is chloe and all of her problems unrelated to hell week #idk i just kind of hate the bay ending. #BUT THATS ALSO WHY I FIND IT FUNNY HOW PEOPLE WHO HATE CHLOE LOVE THE BAY ENDING #like GIRLS. that ending is 100x worse for max. trust me