#they used to be my best safe space but now they arent anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cavehags · 4 years

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i realize this will probably bring up old drama so you might not want to answer it. but do you ever regret, however on purpose or on accident, bringing all that unnecesary hate towards Katara? i'm really sad and dissapointed tbh. i'm a woman of color and katara was so important to me growing up. my favorite animated woman ever. and then this resurgence comes and theres so, so much unnecesary hatred for her and everyone ignoring everything that makes her a good character.

(2/3) 2- and you know, i expected this from the male side of the fandom. they were misogynistic to her and the others even back then so i would expect it to be even worse with how internet culture is more mysogistic now that ever. and i wasnt wrong. male atla fans had some truly horrible takes and views that just came across as racism and misogyny. but, i expected these circles to be better. to be a safe space for us woc who love this character. but i found the same weird hatred for her.

(3/3) 3-i just, i cant believe i feel less welcome now that i did even back then. and back then i didnt even paricipate really. but at least i could enjoy fandom content without stumbling into misogyny and racism every other post. also sorry for sending this to your personal blog b i just wanted to let you know you controbuted to that too even if it wasnt your intention. at least you realized that and arent contributing to it anymore right? cause honestly the hate has only gotten worse not less.

hey anon. thanks for asking this question, because i hadn’t addressed this topic previously and this gave me an opportunity to do so.

no, i don’t regret publicly interpreting a character whom i love through a nuanced and human lens. and i don’t regret combating the one-dimensional interpretation of this character, which posits that she’s merely an vaguely defined object of attraction for some boy or another, and a singularly gentle, mature, maternal figure whose sole purpose in life is to nurture others. those interpretations suck. they rob her of the humanity and complexity that make her character unique and they stem from misogynistic tropes that reduce women to the services they can provide to men. the thing in the world that matters most to me is fighting misogyny, and this trend to diminish a proud and powerful and angry teenage girl by exaggerating only her most socially acceptable traits is misogyny.

unlike you, i did not grow up watching avatar: the last airbender. the shows i watched growing up did not have a lot of girls who felt real to me. the girls i saw on tv growing up were simple. they were the main characters’ crushes. they were simple, desirable, usually sweet and loving, and not much else. if they had a flaw, it was that they were, at best, “awkward.” whatever that means. or if they were the protagonists, which was rare, they were nice enough and tried to do the right thing, but they never had strong feelings like resentment and anger. they weren’t allowed to be unfeminine which meant they weren’t allowed to be bitter, angry or in any way flawed. they didn’t look like the version of girlhood i knew to be true for me personally, which included a lot of anger and frustration and powerlessness.

that crappy representation left me with internalized misogyny that chased me for longer than i’d like to admit. i did not learn to think of girls as humans who could be as interesting and flawed and messy as the boys were. i did not value myself as a girl, and later a woman, because i thought the best thing a girl could be was... bland. boring. pretty, but empty. passionless.

it would have meant the world to me to see a character like katara.

because katara is angry. she has every right to be: she’s had so much stolen from her, including her mother, her people, and her childhood. katara has a short fuse. she yells. she snaps. she fucks up. sometimes she makes mean jokes! i never saw a single one of those dreamily perfect cartoon love interests make mean jokes when i was a kid. she is extremely idealistic--it’s her defining character trait--but we see the bad side of that as well as the good. we see that her need to help others leads her to act rashly, to get herself into danger, to put others in danger too.

and she has her very own arc. it’s not about her love for another person, either (what a snooze of a storyline); it’s about growing up and learning to break down some of that stubborn black-and-white thinking that we all indulge in as children. it’s a true coming-of-age arc and it belongs to a fourteen-year-old girl.

when i, to use a phrase i find crass, “entered the fandom,” i quickly realized that other fans’ perceptions of katara did not line up with the things i valued most about her. other fans seemed to valorize her most socially acceptable feminine qualities: her generosity, her kindness, her dedication to helping others. and of course i love those parts of her--i love everything about her--but what is really remarkable about avatar: the last airbender is that katara’s many important virtues are also counterbalanced by equally significant flaws. a good character has flaws. katara is a good character, and a deviation from the characters who made up my formative media landscape, because she has flaws. her temper, her idealism, her stubbornness--these are flaws. flaws make her seem real and human and challenge the mainstream sentiment that girls are not real or human.

it simply did not occur to me that celebrating these aspects of katara that make her a realistic and well-written teenage girl would spark ire from other adult fans. it absolutely did not occur to me that i would then be blamed for somehow causing misogynistic interpretations of this character, particularly given that misogynistic interpretations of this character are the very thing i sought to correct when i began to blog about this television show.

i’m told there are “fans” on instagram and tiktok who think katara is whiny, annoying, and overly preoccupied with her trauma. i do not use instagram or tiktok, so i wouldn’t know, but i’ll take your word for it. respectfully, however, they didn’t get that from me. misogynistic takes on katara have existed since before i came along. i have never, ever called katara whiny. and seeing as i have been treating my own PTSD in therapy for nine years, you can safely conclude that i don’t think anyone, katara included, is overly preoccupied with their trauma. that’s not a thing. do i think she’s annoying? of course not! as a character, she’s a delight. does she sometimes find real joy in aggravating her brother and her friends? yes, because she’s 14. i, an adult, am not annoyed by her. sokka and toph often are, because that is katara’s goal and katara always succeeds in her goals. she’s not “annoying.”

if there are “fans” who are indeed following lesbians4sokka and somehow misreading every single post and interpreting them to mean that we hate katara and they should too, i don’t really know what you want me to do about that. l4s has over ten thousand followers and we have already posted so many essays disavowing katara hate. our feminist and antiracist objectives in running the blog are literally pinned with the headline “please read.”

furthermore, you cannot reasonably expect my co-blogger and me to control the way our words will be received. we should not have to, and are not going to, add a disclaimer to every post saying that when we critique or make jokes about a teenage girl we are doing so through a feminist lens. our url is lesbians4sokka, and we are clearly women. if that alone doesn’t make it obvious, then refer back to that pinned post.

it is indescribably frustrating, and really goddamn depressing as well, that people are so comfortable with the misogynistic binary of Perfect Good Women and Flawed Wicked Bitches that they perceive any discussion of a woman’s flaws to be necessarily relegating her to the latter camp. if that is how you (a generic you) perceive women, then i’m sorry, but you’ve internalized sexism that i cannot cure you of. and it’s unjust to expect my friend and me to write for the lowest common denominator of readers who have not yet had their own feminist awakenings. we do not write picture books for babies. we write for ourselves, and with the expectation that our readers can think critically. reading media through a feminist lens is my primary interest; i have no intention of excising that angle from my writing.

as i go through my life, i am going to embrace the flaws of girls and women because not enough people do. as long as the dominant narratives surrounding women are “good and perfect” and “unlovable wh*re,” you’ll find me highlighting flawed, realistic, righteously angry women in the margins. and for what it’s worth, it’s not just katara. i champion depictions of angry girls in all sorts of media. that’s sort of my whole thing. my favorite movies are part of the angry girl cinematic universe: thoroughbreds, jennifer’s body, hard candy, jojo rabbit, et cetera. on tv, in addition to katara, you’ll find me celebrating tuca and bertie, poppy from mythic quest, tulip and lake from infinity train, korra, and more. i adore all these women and see myself in them. i hope you find this suitably persuasive to establish that i have sufficient Feminist Cred, according to your standards, to observe and write about these very flawed and human fictional women.

what i’m saying is this: i decline to take responsibility for the misogynistic discourse orbiting a children’s cartoon. as someone who writes about that series from a perspective that seeks to add humanity and nuance to the reductive, one-dimensional, overwhelmingly sexist writing that already exists, i am pretty taken aback that i am the one being blamed for the very problem i sought to address. except not that taken aback because i am a woman online, haha! and this is always how it goes for us.

finally, i think it sucks that you’ve chosen to blame me for a problem that begins and ends with the patriarchy. i can’t control the way this response will be perceived, just like how i can’t control the way anything will be perceived because i am just one human woman, but i do hope you choose to be reflective, and consider why you’ve chosen this avenue to assign blame.

#anyway! this answer is too long and it's undignified to answer ''fandom drama'' queries on le blog #but here we are in 2020

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

#mama logan #little big eating disorder #do not reblog #long post #asks #adorable undead queen #little big after dark concepts

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sicklysticky-honnebee · 5 years

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Aphrodisiac thing with McCree?

Sure thing! I did my best to make it as different as I could from my first one, but i think it embodies the same elements. I took the liberty of being a bit experimental with this, i hope it pays off🤞🏽

Let’s call this one…

Love Potion #69

- McCree x f!Reader -

Word count: ~4400

Warnings: smut, aphrodisiacs, drugging, DUB-CON, (no actual 69ing, I just wanted to be cheeky)

EDIT: FOR THE LIFE OF ME I can’t get a read more on this thing, so sorry :(

–

Jesse watches from afar as you take another long sip of the drink he’d brought you. If you noticed a strange taste to it, you never spoke up about it. The label on the bottle of the little pink pill he’d dropped into your drink claimed to leave no trace, be it taste, scent, or color, and it certainly followed through in every aspect he could observe. It dissolved so fast once it hit liquid he was sure to have missed the tiny burst of pink fizz if he’d blinked, but the price he paid to get his hands on said bottle was almost suspicious in its inexpensiveness, so he had his doubts.

But you drank the whole thing down, laughing and joking with some of your fellow agents without ever so much as looking down at your glass. Just enjoying the little shindig thrown together to celebrate a job well done- a mission completed without a single hitch, each and every one of you home safe and sound without so much as a scratch. If anything called for a party, it was that.

You throw your head back, peels of laughter ringing through the low hum of the various conversations going on around you. The person you were sitting with, someone he had never bothered to learn the name of, was making you laugh in your tipsy state, and Jesse feels something heavy and painful tightening in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to march over there and drag you someplace where the only person pulling lovely sounds like that from you was him.

But tonight was about patience. Keeping his head on long enough to avoid scaring you away, like the last time he tried to make his feelings known -that being the only reason you chose to spend your evening with someone other than him, still working through the shock of having one of your closest friends profess their undying love for you, and needing a little space to sort it all out.

That was alright, he understood. Love was a scary thing, especially when it was as deep and all-consuming as the one between the two of you. And he’d be the first to admit that he came on a little too strong that night, but that was just the effect you had on him. He’d give you as much space and time as you needed, but what he couldn’t have was you running off into the arms of another.

Especially not with that little pill in your system. The effects were meant to be slow coming, preventing you from noticing they were even there until you were in the thick of it and craving whatever warm body was nearest, and he had every intention of making sure it was him.

You stand suddenly, empty glass in hand as you say something Jesse can’t hear to your friend, before giving them a smile and turning to leave. You stumble over nothing, a little clumsy from the alcohol in your system, and would have fallen flat on your face if your friend hadn’t caught you in their arms.

And that was Jesse’s cue to muscle in, he’s up to his feet in an instant and crossing the room in a few quick strides, fire in his eyes as stares down his weak excuse for competition.

“I got ‘em,” he grits out, not waiting for permission from either of you as he scoops you under his own arm. He looks down at the empty glass in your hand, then shoves it in their direction. “But you can take this.”

“Jesse!” you cry, pure joy in your voice as you beam up at him, a tired but excited look in those pretty eyes of yours. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

He smiles at that, heart thudding in his chest, happy to see you arent intent on avoiding him anymore, will make his night a whole lot easier. Lessen the weighted pit of guilt in his heart ever so slightly.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” he says, guiding you away from your friend, whoever they were, they’re irrelevant now, every bit of your attention now focused on him. “Why don’t we get you back to your room before you trip over anything else. There’s somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”

You don’t fight him at all, seem downright pleased to be tucked under his arm as he leads you out the door and down the hallways of the Blackwatch base.

Jesse wasn’t exactly proud of what he was doing, always wanted to wait till you came around on your own, but you just kept forcing his hand with this. Proving to him everyday how perfect you were for one another, and yet refusing to cross over that line with him, insisting that the friendship between you was enough.

It was frustrating, not being able to get you to see reason, so he’d just have to settle for showing it to you.

By the time he reaches your room, you’ve grown heavy in his arms, body starting to relax and soften as the drug works itself into your system, and you drop down to your bed with a sigh, eyes fluttering for a moment before it passes.

“Hey- turn around for a second,” you say, hands going to grasp your uniform in preparation to remove it, trusting him enough to follow through with your request. And he does, complies without question and moves himself till it’s just his back facing you, eyes glued forward and a little smile on his face as he starts to remove his own extra layers. He knows the drill. Listens closely to the rustle of the fabric as its removed from your body, sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye as more of your bare skin is revealed.

He’d long since lost the will to abstain from peeping on you, the temptation too high when you felt comfortable enough to strip yourself down while he was only a few feet away. He used to feel so guilty, betraying all that trust you had for him just so he’d have something to fantasize about later, but the longer you denied your true feelings towards him, the harder it was to deny himself what was only a sideways glance away. He was only a man, after all, and a man in love at that.

Blood rushes both upwards to his face and down to his cock when he gathers through glimpses that you’re down to just your underwear, the muted sound of your bra dropping to the ground deafening to his ears. Jesse resists the urge to palm himself through his pants, his length straining against stiff fabric at the thought of everything he’s wanting being so close. There wasn’t more than a thread of self control, taunt a fraying with every second you rummage through your room in search of your sleep clothes with nothing more than a pair of panties on, keeping him from turning around and pouncing on you then and there.

He thanks the Lord (and at the same time curses) when you finally find the top you’re looking for and pull it over your head. It helps him pull a little bit more of his sense back out from where it got lost in his dick, reminds him he’s been standing still for too long, half hard and still mostly dressed, and you were bound to notice at some point.

He makes quick work of the rest of his clothes, letting them drop to the ground in a messy pile, joined by his gloves and belt and hat, till he’s down to nothing but jeans and a t-shirt, all while breathing through his nose in attempts to will down his erection. Reminding himself to hold it together, he’d have you soon enough, he just had to be patient.

“You can turn around now,” you call softly, accompanied by the sound of a creaking bed frame as you make yourself comfortable upon the stiff mattress once again.

He does just that, then crawls onto the bed beside you, back against the headboard, letting you nuzzle and cling to the exposed skin of his arm, practically melting into the bulk and the heat of it. He doesn’t mind one bit, encourages it even, throwing the arm around your shoulders to bring you even closer.

“God, it feels so good to be back in my own bed,” you sigh, rubbing up against him like a cat- practically purring like one too, and he can hear the slight slur in your speech, sees how wide your pupils have blown. Notices ever subtle rock of your hips as heat is no doubt flooding and pulsing between your thighs.

You squirm, happy little noises coming from your lips as the feeling of his bare skin and body heat makes your skin flush and tingle. He can only imagine how wet you are for him, he could probably bend you over and slide right in without any trouble at all.

You’re probably more sensitive too- another thing the label had promised, and his eyes drop down to your cleavage, looking so full and inviting against the tight fabric of the tank top you wore, the neckline low and the straps thin, leaving not much of you left to the imagination. He licks his lips, imagining all cute little noises he could pull from you sucking on the perky nipples clearly straining against the thin fabric.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”

He looks down at you, a relaxed and blissed out expression on your face as you stare back at him, chin resting against his shoulder, and his chest swells with so much love for you he knows he can’t wait any longer.

He takes one big hand up to your chin and holds it as gently as he can with years worth of longing making his hands shake in anticipation, doesn’t give you a chance to question the sudden tender touch, just crashes his lips into yours as he forces you into a kiss that makes him feel like he should be hearing violins swelling in the background while fireworks go off above your heads.

He groans against your lips as he forces you onto your back, your head sinking into the pillow as he kisses you harder, hot tongue licking sloppily into your mouth while he throws a leg over you, straddling your hips, allowing the perfect opportunity to grind his length, already fully hard and pulsing eagerly, against heated flesh beneath your clothes.

You’re whining against his lips, your own tongue pushing back against his and soft body wriggling underneath him as he slides one hand up under your top to get a feel of all that warm, soft skin. It reads like reciprocation, downright desperation for him to keep doing what he’s doing in his frenzied, lovesick mind, and he pulls away from you just long enough to retch each article of clothing from both your bodies and tosses them over his shoulder.

You’re staring up at him, panting and shaking, tears in your half lidded eyes as you try to process just what’s going on, to distinguish between what you actually want and what your body is suddenly begging for.

Jesse would be able to see the dilemma in your eyes if he weren’t so distracted by the beautiful sight of you, the subject of his every fantasy and wet dream, fully exposed and now completely at his mercy. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so hard, no ones ever inspired so much fire in his veins, made his cock throb and jump as hard as you do.

You’ve got a thin sheen of sweat covering your body, and to Jesse it looks like you’re glowing in the dim lighting of your bedroom, like an angel from above, come down to earth just to be with him. Your breasts heave with every pant you let out, your nipples tight and inviting, making his mouth water at the thought of getting one in his mouth, but he holds himself back. Knows he could spend forever playing and suckling at your tits- would probably come just from the noises you’d make and a little grinding against the bed too, but you don’t have all night. So he’ll skip right to the crown jewel- all that clear, shimmery slick smeared against the inside of your thighs.

Without any pretense, he shoves a hand between your legs to cup your pussy like he owns it, the sudden yelp you let out is ignored beyond a small coo in your direction. His big, warm fingers wiggle their way in between your slick lower lips, dipping down to the ring of your tight, dripping hole and trailing all that wetness up towards your clit, rubbing sweetly against the hardened nub and making you cry out again.

You’re so eager for him, he thinks, and decides to not keep you waiting any longer, laying himself down on the bed and parting your thigh over his shoulders so his face can nestle right into your little flower.

The first hot swipe of his tongue through your folds was so good his eyes rolled back into his head. You tasted just as sweet as he always knew you would, thighs so soft and warm against his cheeks as they tightened around his head.

And he knew you were enjoying it too, a long, strangled moan ripping itself from your throat when the tip of his tongue dropped down to your fluttering entrance, pushing inside and lapping up your sweetness straight from the source. One of your hands comes down to thread your fingers through his hair, tugging against it with each cry of ecstasy, making him groan against all of your sensitive flesh.

Your sounds only wound him up tighter, unable to resist humping himself into the soft mattress below him as he suckles your clit into his mouth, lapping against it whenever the urge to make you really sing grips him, and you tug at his hair harder.

It wasn’t until the hand he’d shoved between your thighs before came back to try to stretch you out on his fingers that you gave up trying to pull him away from you, and instead use both of your palms to push against his forehead.

He grunts in annoyance as he’s forced away from his meal, it seems not all of the fight had left you. He looks up at you in ire, only for it to melt away in an instant once he sees the distress on your face- tears streaming down your cheeks and lips pulled into a grimace.

“Oh c’mon, baby, its ok,” he says, taking the hands still weakly trying to push him away and threading his fingers between your own, pinning your hands down to your hips and halting your struggles against him. “Just relax for me, I’ll make you feel so good.”

And then he dives back in, getting his fix of your sweet slick and doing his damnedest to lick the defiance right out of you. And after a little more suckling, he seems to lull you back into submission, making you moan and writhe and tighten as you near your climax. He drops one of your hands, lines up the tips of two fingers, ready to slide them inside your cunt and send you hurtling over the edge of pleasure, only for a fist to suddenly come crashing into the side of his nose.

It catches him completely off guard, makes him pull back onto his knees as he goes to press a hand to the bridge of his nose. It smarts, but its nothing compared to some of the blows he’s taken in his line of work, and as soon as the initial shock has dissipated, he’s back on you.

You’d used the precious seconds that he was distracted to move yourself onto your stomach and try to crawl away, but you didn’t get very far in your drugged and drowsy state.

You cry out in terror as two heavy hands grab you by the waist and pull you back to where you were. You try to land another blow on him, but from your positions and your fuddled motor control, it’s all too easy for him to catch your wrists in his hands and pin them down above your head.

“You know,” Jesse snarls from somewhere above you. “I love you, darlin’, and I wanted our first time to be special, but if you’re gonna act like a little brat i might have to start treating you like one.”

You shudder as he lays himself on top of you, his hot, heavy cock resting itself against the soft flesh of your backside as his free hand curls around your neck, pulling your whole body upwards by your windpipe and stealing your breath as he squeezes.

He leans down to your ear and whispers, “Now are you gonna be a good girl for me? Or do i need to string you up and make you take what I have to give?” while he rocks his hips against you -thick, leaking cock leaving a trail of precum as the tip drags itself against your lower back- showing you exactly what giving in will reward you.

He knows it’s getting to you, the primal part of your brain winning out against your good sense as you moan and wiggle in between your sobs, and knows its the primal part that’s speaking when you finally answer.

“Yes,” you manage, voice strained and pitiful as you hang your head, giving into the throbbing between your legs. “I’ll be good! Just, please- make it stop!”

Jesse grunts, pleased with your answer. “Good girl,” He drops you back down to the bed, and you land in the pillow beneath your head, using it to bury your face away to hide from the shameful act you’re forced to commit as your own body conspires against you. He parts your thighs just enough to line the thick head of his cock up with your dripping entrance. “That’s what I like to hear.”

He thrusts in, not even a third of the way down his length, but he still has to pause and breathe, because its never felt like this before.

The muffled cry you let out into the pillow beneath you sends a jolt of pleasure through him while your walls flutter against the intrusion, but yield just as quickly, and before you can even think about protesting, he’s pulling his hips back and shoving them forward again, grunting happily as you take in more of him.

He still hasn’t managed to fill you completely, but he’s deep enough now that the head of his cock is pressed firmly against a delicate spot inside of you that has you moaning and clawing at the sheets, making you squeeze around him hard.

He lays himself down against, crushing your body under his as he nuzzles and kisses against your neck and holds your bound wrists between both his meaty hands.

“How’s that feel, gorgeous?” he whispers in your ears, thrusting forward, taking the time to work himself against you and tease, just to show you how good he’s capable of making you feel.

You moan and kick your legs, mind barely stable enough to hear his question, much less answer it, but you can still work yourself against him, a barely there rocking of your hips in your body’s mindless search for pleasure.

“That good, huh?” He chuckles, deep and low in your ear, and his smile only gets wider as you shudder and clench at the sound of his voice. He thrusts again, still a languid pull that strokes against your swollen insides, knowing it’ll make your body sing while still denying you the hard and fast pace you’re really begging for. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart. Whatever it is, I’ll give it to ya, I just need to hear you say it.”

You whine, long and frustrated, head dropping back down into the pillow, but your hips rock much more clearly, practically fucking yourself onto him with the force you’re throwing yourself back. Well that’s just cheating. He was a second away from grabbing a hold of your hips and laying a few good smacks on your ass to make you behave, but then he hears a weak mumbling coming from where you’ve got a mouthful of pillow stuffed between your teeth.

He grins, and uses his arm to hook around your neck, straining you head backwards again and grits into your ear, “What was that, sweetpea?”

You sob and sniffle for a moment, and he lets you have your little fit because he knows you’re at your breaking point, if the constant flutter of your pussy is anything to go by.

“Please fuck me, Jesse…”

You have no idea how happy he is to hear those words coming from you.

“All you had to do was ask, baby.”

He keeps your head pulled back away from the bedding, just turns your head so he can smash your lips together, and then he’s shoving the full length of his shaft inside you, and feels you coming just from that, much to his delight.

You moan into his mouth, shiver against his body as the walls of your cunt clench and suck his length inside you until he’s moaning right alongside you, thinking he must’ve died and gone to heaven because this is everything he’s ever wanted.

Your body goes limp in his grip, and he releases you- gently this time, and you nuzzle your cheek into the pillow. You look absolutely wrecked, drooling from kiss swollen lips and a faraway look to your eye, but he can still feel the little jerks of your hips as you try to urge him on again. Can’t comply fast enough when he hears your little voice whimper, “More, please.”

He smiles, heart fit to burst as both his heavy hands settle around your waist. With pleasure.

He doesn’t hold back anymore, uses his grip on your hips to pull your lax body back onto his cock in a quick, steady rhythm, never pulling out more than an inch before he’s shoving himself back into your tight body

It feels so good to do this, so satisfying to feel you throbbing and creaming around him after all this time, and he cant help the praise that spills from his lips. He must’ve told you he loves you a hundred times before he feels you flutter around him again, whimpering through your climax, and still ready for more.

And he gives it to you- fucks you through orgasm after orgasm until the sheets below you are soaked with your juices, and every slap of his hips against your ass is wet and sticky in a way that brings him that much closer to coming undone.

He’s done his best to hold out as long as possible, wanted every moment he could spare inside your sweet little pussy, but eventually the tight coil is his belly starts to get a little too close to snapping, and he knows he won’t be able to hold out for much longer.

It’s then that he pulls himself out of you fully, trailing clear lines of your release that break and cling to his ruddy, bobbing erection. The whine you let out makes him huff, so impatient, but he has no intention of making you wait long. Grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your back so he can see your face. Wants to burn the expression you make into his brain when he shoots all his thick, white ropes inside of you.

He’s pushing back into you in a matter of seconds, both of you groaning into each other’s mouths as he splits your walls open, stretching them tight around his girth, then falls right back into the pace he’d set before.

He threads his fingers through yours once again, not because he thinks you’ll fight back, no, you’re long passed that. But simply because he wants to be close to you, wants this loving union to feel just as intimate to you as it does to him.

“I love you,” he declares, not for the first time, and certainly not the last, staring deep into your dazed, lust-filled eyes. “So goddamn much.“

His words come out winded, he’s reached his end, no more than a few hard thrusts that make you clench up tight around him before this is all over.

He leans down and takes your lips again, presses his whole, sweat-covered body to yours, wants to hold you to him with no escape when he reaches his end.

With a few hot pants against your lips, and one, deep, drawn out groan, he buries his cock to the root, presses hard against the mouth of your womb and let’s his cum flood your swollen walls.

But the time the pangs of his orgasm subsided, and your pussy had stopped fluttering, neither of you had the energy to do more than lay against each other in a sweaty, sticky heap and try to catch your breath.

Jesse isn’t sure if the fact that you seem satisfied means that the drug and all it’s effects have worn off, but he takes advantage of the fact that you still aren’t fighting him, and scoops you up around the waist, taking you with him as he moves onto his back.

You’re dead weight against his chest, in some sort of daze it seems, but still living and breathing, so he doesn’t worry. Just strokes your hair and presses kisses to the top of your head, letting his mind wander, excited for what’s on the horizon of your new future together, now that he’s finally made you his.

–

AN: Sorry if this is a hot mess, and I’m real sorry I’m so slow at getting these requests out. I’m currently in the middle of trying to recover from being VERY sick, and it’s been slow going for a while now. So it might take me a bit to get these out, but that doesn’t mean I’m not working on them! (and that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t send more in!)

Thank you for your patience~💜🐝

#idk what it is #but theres something like deeply relaxing about writing smut for me #almost therapeutic #so this sorta ended up turning into a vent fic that i desperately scrambled to make readable #sorry if its not sexy :(#yandere mccree #yandere mccree x reader #yandere jesse mccree #yandere jesse mccree x reader #yandere overwatch #yandere overwatch x reader #request

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yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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just-zenitsu · 4 years

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oh that makes me curious... do you think zenitsu was thrown between orphanages and foster homes as a kid? or maybe he was in one until he ran away, either when he eloped or some time before and then lived on the street from then... or did he just live on the streets his whole childhood? ive been wondering this for days and its been on my mind for ages

*deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

first of all id like to say that i have like three fic ideas that explore his past (whether it focuses on how he grew up or not) BUT THANK U FOR INDULGING ME GUYS IM DEFINITELY RAMBLING ABT EACH OF THEM NOW… (this is a fucking monster tho. so its under read more)

* @anon THATS A WHOLE ASS MOOD TBH. i spend literal hours at night thinking abt whether he was in an orphanage or a street kid. ive wrote him living in the streets and getting sent to an orphanage when he was caught stealing. whereas i ALSO have mindless scribbled notes of modern au where his parents left him in an orphanage but bc of bad experiences (and thats putting it lightly) he gets sent to different homes A LOT and eventually gets kicked out at some point, ILL GET TO THAT LATER IN A BIT

* SINCE im trying to NOT write a fic here ill just list down headcanons and stuff bc YEET!!!! and for the sake of convenience lets just say he was both sent to an orphanage and lived as a street kid :”DD

* lets talk abt hcs ive seen first,, jpn fandom mostly all seem to hc him as a street kid who lived by working on odd jobs and the sort. ofc more often than not he just gets the bare amount for payment and the people he works for arent really nice :(( they never have the nicest words to say and sometimes they even hit him. zen sometimes endures it bc its not like he has much of a choice in the end. other times he runs away crying and scared.

* he also doesnt really have a permanent home so he wanders a lot carrying what little stuff he owns (probably a few clothes or a worn-out futon or something)

* he’s taken advantage of a lot,, whether it’d be people tricking him into doing some work saying ‘he’ll be given something good in return’ or something equally vague. he usually wonders why their words sound so kind in comparison to their heartbeats that sound… off,, its not until he’s older that he gets an answer to that question

* bc he cant be picky i like to think that its not that hard for him to sleep somewhere uncomfortable. he also curls up a lot into a ball when he sleeps. he likes being cooped up into small spaces, it makes him feel safe and that no one can get him.

* was initially very verbal about his hearing condition (something along the lines of saying ‘i heard you say that ____’ or ‘hey, do you hear that’ etc etc.) people think hes creepy and/or he’s lying most of the time. he eventually doesnt really wanna talk about it anymore once someone came this close to threatening to cut his ears off.

* i think we can say that zen lived in the city? its why he likes expensive things and the sort, and he has a lot of stock knowledge about how the city works and stuff like that, not to say that he’s ever really participated in it

* as a child (and even as he got older) zenitsu’s favorite season is spring, autumn being a close second. he likes spring bc the air is fresh and he can find flowers in the outskirts of the city, surviving despite growing in cracked concrete. he makes little flower crowns out of them!

* he likes autumn bc the way the leaves change is pretty! but its only second to spring bc the flowers usually wilt by then and he gets cold :(

* he doesnt like winter simply because it is VERY cold. he dislikes summer the most tho bc the sound of literal thousands of cicadas give him a lot of headaches aaa

* is very used to being hungry when he goes to sleep. he makes due with it as best as he can. one of his fondest memories is a frail old man who owns a sweet bun cart that gives him buns in exchange for a lower price than what he actually sells them for. on a day where he thinks the old man looks more tired and quiet than usual, zenitsu takes it upon himself to give him a flower crown.

* unfortunately he never is able to give it, bc the next day, or days after that, zenitsu never sees him again.

* he has experience bein a sneaky little thief! its the reason on why he can easily take sweets without permission at the butterfly estate in canon hehe

* but its this very same reason that he gets sent to an orphanage, he gets caught! and bc he is a Literal Child. they send him to foster care woohoo

* (GOD THIS IS GETTING SO LONG BUT PLS DEAL WITH MY RAMBLING….)

* i dont have a clear idea on how zenitsu couldve been treated in an orphanage. but all in all, he’s just very grateful to be given some kind of semblance of a home and food

* he learned how to speak (barely) when he lived in the streets, but they teach the basic minimum and suddenly he’s learning all these sorts of things

* the people who took care of them arent the most affectionate, neither are the kids he lives with. zenitsu’s crying is often really looked down upon, he tries to stop but he can’t really help it. he’s not really anyones favorite person here

* there’s a small somewhat neglected garden in the orphanage’s backyard. he spends his time here when everyones playing and no one wants to play with him

* every time someone comes to adopt a kid he cries and begs for them to adopt him whenever they show a spark of interest towards him. it goes as bad as u think it does, they dont like that type of kid, and as such they assume everyone else is like that and leaves w/o taking anyone. zenitsu isnt allowed to eat dinner in these nights ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

* bc of the latter reason, kids gang up and bully him a lot. zenitsu tries to go along w it bc its the ONLY time anyone ever pays attention to him, but at the end of the day the only thing he gets is scratches and bruises from being pushed around and lots of words that hurt his heart

* (WAHH. OPK OK IM SORRY IM SAD NOW AINNFJKKJFDFHKH..)

* people think he’s a nuisance more or less. and then he gets sent to varied foster homes again and again bc he’s ‘difficult to deal with’ and going back to the first bullet point, he gets kicked out again wAH. at this point he might have been 15 and its when he starts trying to date girls, despite hearing everyone’s sounds of deceit and lies time and time again, he still goes through with it. and the rest is canon,

OK. thats basically my brain vomit about zenitsu backstory. i am deceased and IM JUST PURELY FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERYTIME I THINK ABT HIM KDFKLGDFDGHF. thank u sm if u read this far, i appreciate it ;_______;

#ask #KHGJSKGKJGD THIS TOOK SO LONG HAHAHHAHAH #headcanons #.post #screaming but w feeling

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pbandjesse · 4 years

Text

Today was a rainy, but pretty good, day. I slept a little better last night. Even if falling asleep hasnt been going well. I woke up in a good mood. James had put air in the tires and gas in the car. I gave him lots of hugs and headed out.

There are to many cars on the road. But it was fine. I had a good ride in. And honestly it was just a nice morning.

Some parts were quiet. It was rainy. I spent a lot of time today just enjoying my own company. When I first got there we were all sitting on the porch. I told them all about my powerpoint project and they thought I was very silly but excited that I was excited.

I had some free time and some energy this morning though. So I went and changed into my rain boots, which have finally broken and absolutely need to be replaced now, and went down to homestead. Heather had asked the specialty teachers to work on cleaning that since we had some time in the afternoon. But I had time then so off I went.

I listened to my podcast and I cleaned for about an hour and a half. It was kind of rainy and damp all day but it was hella gross down there. Everything was covered in mud. There was so much stuff just around. It was terrible. I started with picking up stuff off the ground. I didnt get the stuff under the picnic tables because honestly, it was to hard to bend that much. But I also had some of the campers help me collect all the containers and tubs down there so I could hose them off. Everything was going to go into storage and they couldnt go in covered in mud. But then everything was wet from the hose and I was very hot. Break time.

I went and sat at arts and crafts for a few minutes. Caught my breath. Enjoyed the hammock. Enjoyed the rain sounds. And then went down to the office to check in with Heather. She was super surprised that I had been cleaning down there alone. Acted all proud of me. And my stupid money brain was like "Praise???" so of course I went back later in the day and kept cleaning and wiping things off and putting things in totes. Cj is going to come back on thursday and help sort but in the mean time at least they would be able to get everything away from the muddy area.

Heather told me that after lunch I should go help with sandwiches. But I had time. So I went and finished setting up in art. Laid around. Had my lunch a little early.

And went to figure out making sandwiches. But that went all wrong because apparently there was a change of plans, but no one told me. I made like 20 sandwiches when Elizabeth came in and was like. The fridge broke and we arent allowed to use this food anymore. Even though it was in a cooler that was still cold. Which seems silly to me but food rules are important. I just feel bad that I wasted the bread. And another change of plans was that I was supposed to be running trading post again. But I had asked! A few times! And was told no, youre doing sandwiches. So I was all confused. And a little unsettled. Im still unsettled honestly. I hate doing things wrong. I hate being wasteful. Doesnt feel good.

But I headed up to trading post and it went just fine. It was healthy day and no one told me that so I had to get that stuff but everyone was quick to help me set it up.

It took a little longer today, I dont know why but we were having trouble getting the kids up and in line. But it was done and I went to art to wait for my group.

This group was tough. I knew that. Because they were the little ones and there were 13 of them. But it went well all things considered. We ran a little over time. And James, their counselor, was obviously stressed. But the kids were so excited that they made their little quilt square. But because of us running late I didnt get a picture. Ah well. It was still a lot of fun.

Half their kids wanted to use the bathroom and then there was an early pick up and then their program space changed and it was a whole ordeal. I was barefoot but I told James I would take half his group to their next program. So I threw on some shoes and walked them down to the office. Where James met us and took over.

I headed back to art and cleaned everything up. Took a small break. Okay a little bit longer. Wrapped in my blanket in my hammock. It was great.

Im a little sad thinking about it only because Maryland is moving into phase three and I dont know what my job situation is going to look like going forward. Its hard. Im scared all the time, but being out at camp at least feels safe. I dont think I will feel safe in another job yet. And like none of my museums are going to open for field trips. And so its like. Fall at camp was already tentative. It was already like. Unsure. But Alexi is hoping it will at least be some time every week. And Im trying to stay positive but its hard and Im scared about what the fall will bring with covid and with the cold. I am going to try to get into my art more. Try to actually sell things? Well see what happens I guess.

The rest of the afternoon was cleaning down at Homestead and then hanging out with the kids at the office until 5 when I headed out.

I drove to Hunt Valley and went to the Marshals I discovered there. I didnt realize that the shopping center had a back side. And I had excellent luck. I finally found a long sleeve black shirt. To replace my lost one. And I got some gum and a pretty makeup and a night time lotion. The cashier was very sweet. But I was starving and had to go find some dinner.

I ended up going to wawa and ate a hoagie in my car. Just living my best life. I had a long and strange drive home. I got a light on my car that I had never seen before. But I looked it up and it seems like its not a big deal. It only flashed at me two different times and didnt stay on so its probably okay but Ill keep an eye on it.

I got back here and was annoyed to find a cop in the alley. But Mr Will was also outside and it was nice to see him. He got one of those two screen phones, very fancy. He showed me how to look for jobs on facebook market place. Which I didnt need him to do but I enjoy him and his dad energy so I let him show me. He's great. I was also glad to see he was actually wearing a mask. I worry about him!!

I got in here and it was basically 7. I put stuff away and did the dishes. I got a piece of the cookies and cream cheese cake James made and played animal crossing. I cant believe its september but that brings changes to the island! New bugs and fish! I caught a soft shelled turtle! I played until 8 and then took a lovely long bath.

And now I am just hanging out. I am tired and hoping I fall asleep easier tonight. I hope you all have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow!

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honeyfreckled · 5 years

Note

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER.

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it.

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you

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johnnysnostril · 5 years

Text

You’ve Always Been Mine

chapter 21

`nori

sitting down at the table, i noticed shownu and misun in the middle of a heated argument- across the room. as he tried to grab her hand, misun turned to walk away and i shot my gaze back at jooheon- who was sitting across from me.

“you okay?” he asked with a smile.

i nodded.

“just spaced out a little, i guess.” i lied.

i wonder what they were fighting over. misun and i didnt really get a chance to talk on the way over here. she was too busy giving shownu the silent treatment, which involved all of us.

approaching the table, she took the seat next to me.

“can i sit with you guys?” she asked.

jooheon flashed his dimples in her direction and chuckled.

“of course, you dont have to ask.”

misun tossed her hair off her shoulders before grabbing her napkin and placing it on her lap. she sighed then picked up the menu, taking a look.

“i definitely need a mimosa.”

shortly after- shownu made his way to the table, with his head down. i gave him a small smile as he sat next to jooheon and slouched in his chair.

this was pretty awkward. they were both obviously upset about something, i just didnt know what it was.

not long after, a waiter came around and took our order- quickly bringing back the food and drinks.

we ate in silence for a few moments before jooheon cleared his throat.

“well, this isn’t going how i pictured.” he chuckled as he wiped his mouth with his napkin.

misun didnt look up from her plate, not even once. i took a sip of my mimosa and smiled over at shownu.

“how’s your food?” i asked. he nodded his head and continued to eat.

“sorry for ruining the mood.” shownu mumbled. “misun, sidebar.”

he stood up, making his chair screech against the floor before throwing his fork against the plate. i winced at the sound, looking at jooheon.

he whispered, “im sorry” then reached out for my hand. i laced our fingers together and shook my head.

`shownu

“why are you so upset?”

misun was standing against the wall, with her arms folded against her chest. she avoided looking in my direction, as she looked out the window.

“i dont think that you should be mad about a valid question.”

her head snapped in my direction.

“your question was invalid and stupid. i’ve never cheated on anyone, in my entire life. why would minhyuk even think about kissing me in the first place? this morning was the only time, that we’ve even had a full conversation.”

i sighed, throwing my hands in my jacket pocket.

“i dont know, misun. he was just really close to you and you looked pretty guilty when you saw me standing there.”

misun laughed and shook her head.

“you’re so ridiculous. im not entertaining this conversation anymore.”

as she turned to walk away, i called out her name but she kept walking.

“so, thats it?” i shouted.

misun threw her hand up, giving me the peace sign. “yep.”

`jooheon

“you’re a messy eater.” i laughed as i wiped nori’s chin. she was now sitting next to me, with one of her legs draped across my thigh.

“not all the time.” she giggled.

i loved seeing her smile. it made me feel grateful to even witness such a beautiful thing.

as misun came back to the table, her smile faded.

“im gunna go guys.” she said grabbing her purse.

“whyy?” nori cried out. “you didnt even finish your food.”

“its okay, im not hungry anymore.”

she leaned down and kissed nori’s cheek then cupped her chin.

“and do not, follow me. stay and eat.” misun said before making her way out.

a few seconds later, shownu came back to the table, sitting down and eating- like nothing happened.

after breakfast, we headed outside and waited for the car to arrive.

nori had her phone in front of her face the entire time, after misun left. i know she was worried about her. that’s what friends are supposed to do.

after awhile- i guess nori decided to give the misun situation a rest, as she slipped her phone back into her purse.

“so what now?” she sighed.

i smiled down at her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

“do you wanna come to the studio with me? i want you to hear the new song i wrote.”

she looked down for a second and bit her bottom lip.

“oh. the studio? but, last time..-” nori mumbled.

i cupped her chin, lifting her head to look at me.

“we’re starting over, remember?” i whispered. “that wont happen again.”

she slowly nodded, agreeing. “okay.”

“well arent you guys cute.” shownu said plainly.

i rolled my eyes. “way to ruin the moment, hyung.”

nori laughed a bit then lifted herself on her tiptoes and kissed my lips.

“shit!” shownu groaned as he looked towards the photographers, who were hiding across the street.. nori lowered her head into my chest and i helped to shield the flash from her eyes.

she wined and held onto me tightly. “its okay, i got you.” i whispered.

as the photographers swarmed around us, nori gripped onto my shirt. as expected, the word traveled way too fast and fans started crowding around us, screaming for shownu and i. he smiled and waved, trying to keep the attention on him- as i backed nori away from all this craziness. pushing her back inside the restaurant, i quickly kissed her cheek.

“stay in here until the car arrives, okay? do not open these doors. understand?”

she nodded with fear in her eyes as she looked out towards the crowd. i could see her body slightly shaking as she clutched onto her purse.

making it back outside, i glanced over at shownu, who now had his phone against his ear- giving our manager the 911 call.

where the hell was the car?

we both posed for photos and signed a few autographs, just to satisfy our fans. i forced a smile, never once forgetting about nori.

a few minutes pasted by and our car raced around the corner, stopping at the curb.

thank god.

i glanced back at the doors, and nori had disappeared. my body went straight into panic mood, as i searched through the sea of girls.

damn it, nori.

the driver quickly jumped out, pushing through the crowd and opening the door for us. shownu made his way inside and waved for me to follow.

there was no way that i was leaving nori.

just as i stumbled over back to the restaurant, i seen the top of nori’s head in the crowd. my eyes widened as i seen her get pushed around a few times.

“nori!” i shouted over the screaming.

suddenly, i didnt see her anymore. it was like she disappeared in thin air.

“come on, we have to go.” the driver said as he made his way over to me, pulling on my arm.

“no but-”

“theres no time! someone’s going to get hurt. let’s go.”

as i was pulled towards the car, i saw a few monbebe’s helping someone up from the floor.

it was nori.

i snatched my arm back from the driver and rushed through the crowd, grabbing nori and pulling her to the backseat of the car.

as i helped her in, she was crying and close to hyperventilating. i slammed the door shut as she rested against shownu for the time being.

“didn’t i tell you to wait inside?!” i shouted as i pulled her over to me. i wrapped my arms around her and shut my eyes, squeezing her tight.

the driver quickly drove away from the scene, screeching the tires against the pavement as he pulled off.

“what were you thinking?” i exhaled heavily and kissed the top of her head.

“i-i just thought that if i went out the back doors, no one would see me..” she said breathing heavily.

i pulled back and cupped her cheeks. there was so much terror in her eyes. as i stared at her for a moment, she shut her eyes and her chest began to rise and fall at a faster pace.

her attack was beginning.

“i’m right here, baby. breathe with me.” i whispered.

i’ve never witnessed one of her panic attacks before. this was the first time.

i inhaled then released at the same pace- coaching her slowly. her eyes met mine and she furrowed her brows as she tried to follow my breathing pattern.

i glanced over at shownu as his phone began ringing. he turned the screen in my direction and our manager’s name popped up on the screen.

turning my attention back to nori, her breathing was finally starting to steady itself out after awhile.

“everything is alright now, you’re safe.”

i softly kissed her forehead then pushed her head onto my chest.

after the incident, i decided that going to the studio wasnt the best idea. instead, i joined nori at the apartment.

leaving shownu behind, we quickly made our way inside. misun angrily rounded the corner and furrowed her brows upon seeing nori.

“what did you do to her?” she asked, cupping nori’s cheeks. “you were crying!”

i shook my head and chuckled lightly at her actions.

“we just ran into a little bit of trouble, that’s all.”

nori wrapped her arms around misun and hugged her tightly.

“why’d you leave?” she mumbled.

copying nori’s actions, misun clung onto her bestfriend as she made eye contact with me.

“i just needed some time alone.”

i folded my arms across my chest and watched them hug each other.

`misun

i lead nori into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. her makeup was a mess and honestly, we both looked like the day slapped us back a few years.

grabbing a few makeup wipes, i started to clean her face.

“wanna explain what happened while i was gone?” i asked in a motherly tone.

nori pouted, grabbing a couple wipes herself- and began to take off my makeup too.

“what were you and shownu fighting about?” she shot back.

i rolled my eyes.

“i asked you a question first. why were you crying?”

she sighed then tossed the wipe in the trash as the job was done.

“a few photographers showed up, which lead to fans being all over the place and i kinda got trampled.” she shrugged.

i shook my head and stared at her for a moment. she met my gaze and blinked a few times.

“what?”

sitting on the edge of the tub, i looked up at her.

“is this really what our life is supposed to be now?”

playing with her fingers, she slowly made her way to sit next to me.

“i know this wasn’t what we expected. but, we both knew that this lifestyle would come with challenges. i guess we just gotta ask ourselves, is it worth fighting for?”

listening to her words, i started to think of shownu. i wanted us to work so badly, but his jealously was literally coming out of nowhere. i mean, minhyuk wasn’t flirting with me.. was he?

“shownu thinks minhyuk kissed me..” i blurted out.

nori turned her head in my direction and parted her lips. she was quiet for a moment before she spoke.

“and did he?” she asked.

“if he did, you would have knew the moment after. so no-”

i ran my fingers through my hair then leaned my head against her shoulder.

“that’s what the entire trip to the restaurant was about. you know i would never cheat, on anyone. especially not shownu. i’ve wanted him for so long. why would i do that?”

nori nodded and leaned her head against mine.

“his jealously is a good thing though, misun. if he wasn’t jealous, that would be a red flag.”

i lightly shrugged then lifted my head, standing to my feet.

“maybe you’re right.”

as i made my way over to the bathroom door, i opened it slowly- seeing jooheon in the kitchen. he was fighting with the coffee making with a puzzled looked on his face.

laughing, i waved nori over.

“you might wanna go help ya boy.”

` an hour later

standing in front of the dorm, i hesitated before knocking.

yes, i was swallowing my pride and going to apologize first. i rolled my eyes at my thoughts and tilted my head, waiting for the door to open.

as it swung open, minhyuk was standing in the doorway- shirtless.

“oh, misun. hey.” he said brightly.

lord, please help me.

#lee jooheon #joohoney #jooheon imagine #jooheon soft hours #jooheon fanfic #Monsta X #monsta x imagine #monsta x fanfic #monsta x soft hours

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a-writers-writing · 5 years

Text

How It Began

A/N: yall miss me? ever since i left the newsies fandom, this blog has been kinda dead. ive been writing a lot more stuff for myself but not feeling thats its been good enough to post here. WELL im starting to get back into newsies because fuck i really miss some parts of this fandom... but im back!!! hell yeah!!! enjoy this!!!!! yall really better get used to pigeon of you arent already cuz that boy still is my #1 character.... also hey hes not. a self insert anymore hes his own darn character. any italian might be wrong bc im a dumb american and have to use google translate

How Oliver Fitzgerald came to be Pigeon the Manhattan newsie

Not edited

Mid winter was hell for any kid living on the streets. Harsh wind cut through thin clothes like a newly sharpened knife.

It was even worse if you were running as fast as you could, slipping on ice as you tried to find an alleyway to tuck into. This was currently the case for Oliver. He had only been in New York for a few days after he ran away from home, but had already found himself in trouble. The other street kids in Brooklyn didn’t take too kind to him and now, in Manhattan, he had gotten tangled up with the Delancey brothers. They had asked him questions he was unable to answer, as he could barely speak English. When he gave a muttered reply in Italian, they battered on the insults. Oliver ran away, but the brothers refused to let him get away.

Luckily he was smaller and faster than both of them, making for an easy escape even as they chased him. By the time he had found a place to duck away he was out of breath and exhausted. He could hear their yells in the distance, but instead of continuing to run, he sat on the ground with his knees to his chest and slowly slipped to sleep.

Oliver didn’t know how long he was asleep for, but it couldn’t have been long if the dusting of snow on his shoulders gave anything away. He slowly lifted his head from where it was tucked into his arms to inspect what had awoken him.

A boy was kneeling in front of him, worry etched on his face. There was a slingshot tucked into his waistband and he was removing the light jacket that he wore. “You’se awake, thank God. I thought you had frozen ta’ death.”

Oliver furrowed his brow and leaned away from him. Who was this boy? Oliver had never seen him or met him, so why was he being so nice?

The boy noticed this and softened. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, kid. You’se okay. Here.” He held out his jacket for Oliver, who just eyed it cautiously. “You’se gonna become a kid-sicle if you don’t take it.”

Oliver reached out with a shaking hand and took it, then wrapped it around himself. It didn’t provide much warmth, but it was better than nothing.

“Can you walk? You ain’t hurt or nothin’, right?” Finch stood, offering his hand to the small boy.

Pidge took his hand and slowly brought himself to his feet, though his legs were like jelly and the soles of his feet ached. He braced himself against the wall, eyes shut as he fought through the pain.

“You really ain’t lookin’ too good… Here, get on my back. I ain’t gonna drop you or nothin’, just bring you somewhere safe. You can trust me, kid.” Finch knelt down again so Oliver could get on his back. After a minute, Oliver gave in.

Finch lifted him easily, arms looped securely under Oliver’s legs while Oliver wrapped his arms around Finch’s shoulders.

“So you got a name, kid?” Finch asked. He felt Oliver shake his head and nodded. “That’s okay, we’se gonna find you one then. There’s gonna be a lotta other guys at the lodge, just a warnin’. I know a few new kids ain’t too fond of a lotta people around. I’ll make sure they give you some space.” Finch continued to ramble, not even noticing Oliver had fallen asleep.

The noise in the lodge is what woke him again. Yelling and laughter caused him to hide his face in Finch’s shoulder, his grip on his shirt tightening.

Finch tried his best to look at Oliver and adjusted him slightly. “You’se okay, don’t worry. They ain’t gonna hurt you,” he whispered.

“Who’s ya’ new friend, Finch?” Elmer called over. The attention of the room shifted and suddenly grew quiet.

“Found ‘im nearly frozen to death afta’ I finished sellin’.” Finch looked back at Oliver before looking back to the group. “He’s kinda skittish an’ don’t talk. Ain’t got a name, either.” The group nodded, a few eyes lingering on Oliver. “I figure he’ll take my bed an’ I can teach ‘im the ropes a’ sellin’.”

Slowly the group went back to their activities, though they were much quieter now. Finch carried Oliver upstairs and to his bunk. There, he carefully set the smaller boy down. “They ain’t too bad, huh? You’ll get used to them pretty quick.”

Oliver nodded and took off Finch’s coat, handing it back to him. He was still shivering, but not as much as before.

“How ‘bout you keep this on ‘til we find you some new clothes. Can’t have you freezin’ out on me yet.” Finch smiled and wrapped the jacket around him again. “I’se gonna be right back. I think Romeo might have somethin’ ‘round your size. Stay here.” He gently patted Oliver’s hair before starting out of the room.

Oliver pulled his knees to his chest and looked around the empty room, a pang of anxiety sending chills down his spine. He knew Finch said he would back, but what if he didn’t? What if he was trapped somewhere he’d never been with a bunch of boys he’s never met that were all so loud and rowdy? He stood and headed to the window, looking out to the street below and picking at a string on the jacket.

A single pigeon flew up to the windowsill and sat next to him, it’s head tilting. Oliver smiled at the small bird. “Ciao, amico. Come va?”

“So you do speak, just not English,” said a voice from the doorway. Oliver jumped and turned, causing the bird to fly away. His face was flush with embarrassment and eyes were wide with fear. Anyone else that had heard him talk wasn’t too happy with it… He looked over the figure, his mind racing.

It was a tall boy with a mess of curly blond hair, his hat securely pulled over it. A cigar was trapped between his pointer and middle finger, tapping against his palm. Next to him was Finch with clothes draped over his arm.

“Don’t look so scared, kid. Race ain’t gonna hurt you. In fact, he’s the guy you’re gonna wanna talk to if you speak Italian.” Finch smiled and set the clothes on the bed.

Oliver looked to the boy— Race— with the same wide eyes, but the fear was gone and replaced with hope. Race smiled at him. “Ti piacciono gli uccelli?”

“S-sì. I piccioni sono i miei preferiti,” Oliver replied, now moving to fidget with the button on his shirt.

“How ‘bout the name Pigeon, then? Seems pretty fittin’.” Race leaned back against the door frame.

He nodded with a grin. Finch laughed softly. “Finch and Pigeon. How perfect.”

Oliver— no, he wasn’t Oliver anymore. He could finally leave that name behind. Pigeon could tell this was the place he could call home. He would certainly take a while to get used to everyone, but this place seemed like a good place to start.

#Words from the writer #newsies #pigeon #pigeon fitzgerald

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tandytoaster · 5 years

Text

I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”.

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing.

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying.

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into.

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready.

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me.

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit.

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag.

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic.

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people.

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.

#noop nooping #YA LIVE YA LEARN YA GET MAD.

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americana-ultra · 6 years

Text

The Final Fight

( huuu okok ! This is the first time I’ve ever participated in somethin’ like this before but !!! here is a special angst fic for the lovely @wolfsmoonrise , it’s been sosososo long since i’ve properly written so please forgive my gay ass soul

this was for the @bakushima-gift-exchange valentines day thingo so.. well, happy valentines day !! sorry if it’s short but i tried to make it sweet-ish, you’ll see it just under the cut even though it’s not nsfw. enjoy ! )

The final fight.

Surrounded by villains alike, they were cornered.

Trapped.

The heavy breathing from both UA students was the only thing that echoed around the empty halls of the building they had taken refuge in. Although to spiky haired blonde was against it, demanding that they stay and fight, even he knew that they’d be in ruins if they didn’t catch their breath and come up with a better strategy. Not to mention, his wounds were looking awful. Though he’d never admit the pain he was in, it wouldn’t be like him to display any other emotion other than disdain and a drive to win. He seemed angered, his breaths carrying temper as they spilled out into the space they stayed in. He rested his hand against a slightly crumbled wall, the wallpaper that once hung as a decoration was now peeling and ugly looking. In a sudden fit, the blonde slammed his fist against the wall, causing a small crater to appear where he punched. Pieces of the wall trickled to the floor as he pulled his hand away, a growl sent disdain towards the villains outside that were most likely fighting the other students of his class. He didn’t care how they were going, but if he wanted to win this fight, he needed to be out there.

“.. We’ve been here too long,” He grumbled, blowing off the dust from his knuckles. His eyes glared up towards the other boy beside him, baring his teeth a little. “If we want to attack, we do it now—“

“No..” The red-haired, manly ideology-driven boy’s mind had been jogging the entire time, trying to create a plan that would work with Bakugo’s injuries. He wouldn’t let him get hurt any more than he was, his heart would break if it did. “Your legs are shit, man. I don’t want it getting worse.”

“But—“ The blonde attempted to retaliate, trying to move his legs. The red-haired boy shot him a death glare immediately after seeing his attempts.

“I stand by what I say, Bakugo. Sit, if you get hurt anymore and I’d never be able to forgive myself. God-fucking-forbid if you died..” His voice trailed off, the thought of such a thing internally crushing him. Bakugo had been such an important person in his life, the thought of him suddenly vanishing away into nothing was heart-wrenching. The blonde didn’t feel the anguish the other felt, scoffing and attempting to get back on his feet once more.

“Listen Kirishima, you big whiney baby, I’m fine. Look—“ Kirishima growled, baring his teeth as he barked out.

“I SAID SIT! Listen to me, goddamn it!” Bakugo was taken aback by the other’s verbal force, his back slumping as he remained on the floor with an irritated expression prominent.

“.. I’m not a fucking toddler, you rejected sonic character, I can handle myself. In fact, I bet I could’ve taken all those guys out all on my own!“ He snarled, crossing his arms. “But no! Of course, you had to help as usual. Why can’t you let me be independent for once in my goddamn life? Why do you always insist on helping when I obviously don’t need it?!” He threw up his hands, pursing his lips. Kirishima was quiet for a moment, his hands gripped into a tight fist. He seemed to be trying to hold back something, whether it was words, temper, or something else entirely, Bakugo couldn’t tell.

“.. Am I wrong to care, Bakugo,” The other finally spoke out, his voice had a subtle quiver, making the blonde concerned. He regretted his words, he was harsh for no reason. Though, that was always the case for the people talked to. The people who tried to show any sort of kindness to him.

“Kiri I—“ Bakugo tried to speak, but Kirishima turned around, his eyes welling with tears as his teeth were bared. They glimmered in the dull light of the room, his breaths seething as he shook slightly.

“I said.. is it wrong to care, Bakugo? Is it wrong to care about someone who you feel closest to?” He took a step towards the other, sucking in a shaky breath. “Because there always seems to be an issue! I try and help you, but you push me away. Help me help you, that’s all I want, but you almost never comply! It’s so hard to cooperate with you sometimes!” As the other heaved in more shaky breaths, their body trembling with both fear and anger, the blonde looked mildly shocked. He had never expected this kind of outburst from Kirishima. It made his heart sink, he wasn’t aware of just how distant he could be with the world around him and the people who tried to stick by his side. He knew he was an asshole, sure, that was a given. But.. not this. Bakugo sucked in a small breath after the awkward silence hung in the air for far too long, clearing his voice to break it.

“What do you want, an apology? I’m sorry for being myself?” It probably wasn’t the best choice of words, but what else could he do? Kirishima’s watery eyes darted straight towards the blonde’s, a huff leaving his lips.

“No.. I’m already aware of how insincere your apologies can be, I wouldn’t waste my time with them,”

“Hey—!” Bakugo called out, obviously offended by the comment, but Kirishima carried on nevertheless.

“I just want you to trust me, Bakugo.” The blonde quirked an eyebrow, obviously confused. It was a weird thing to ask for right now, but if he complied, then maybe Kirishima would stop being on the brink of tears. It hurt his heart to see him that way, which confused him greatly, but he tried his best to ignore it.

“Trust? I mean.. I’ve always trusted you, spikes for brains. I just..” He glanced away, his face heating up as he scowled towards the floor. “.. show my trust in different ways. So there, whatever.” Kirishima let out a soft sigh of relief, wiping his face a little before activating his quirk. His body hardened to an immense degree, his once soft hair now jagged with piercing spikes. His arms became stone cold weapons capable of killing. His face was hardened, his sharp teeth becoming even more lethal than beforehand. He spoke softly, not matching his current demeanor.

“.. good. I’m going to go out there and fight them on my own.” Bakugo was shocked, letting out a grunt of surprise before immediately furrowing his brows and attempting to get up again.

“Absolutely fucking not, Eijrou,” he protested, his legs weakly attempting to push his body back up from the ground. “I’m coming too!” The red-haired boy quickly made a gesture for him to stop, frowning towards him before looking out into the empty plains ahead through a broken window nearby. He seemed heavy-hearted, knowing what he was planning was extremely dangerous, but there was no other solution that he could try. No other solution that would guarantee the safety of the person he cared for most.

“No.. you’re injured, remember? It’d kill me to see you get harmed even further!” Bakugo frantically shook his head, trying to use one his legs to get up but immediately crying out in anguish as pain forcefully shot though his leg and core. He collapsed in his spot once more, a tear building up in the corner of his eye.

“No.. No.. please, I’m coming too. You can’t go in alone, I won’t let you!” He didn’t want to plead, but it was his only other option at this point. Kirishima offered him a sad smile, shaking his head to his pleading. He approached him, sending away his quirk to his hand and making it soft once more, cupping Bakugo’s face and closing his eyes gently. He seemed to be trying to think of the right words to say at that moment, and eventually opened them up once more to look at Bakugo properly.

“.. If I don’t fight this for us, we’re doomed. I’m the only one here with functioning legs at the moment, and if you keep walking on them, they’ll only get more damaged. It could even get permanent if you arent careful.” He sighed softly, tilting his head to the side a little as he brushed his thumb across the other’s cheek. “This is why I asked you to trust me. Trust me that I can do this, that I can beat them and keep you safe. You don’t need to keep trying to display that you’re a big hero with rad powers,” His smile turned more warm. “.. I’m already well aware of that. You’re my hero, Bakugo. Let me be yours.” At that moment, Bakugo’s heart was racing. Usually, he would’ve blasted off Kirishima’s hand and called him a jagged jock wannabe loser, but this felt different. Much different. His breaths were soft, yet quick and rapid as he stared deep into the other’s eyes. The tenderness within them made him melt, a calming feeling entering them after his words. The blonde’s lip quivered, biting it hard so that it wasn’t noticeable. He’d never admit it, though it was noticeable for Kirishima, but a single tear welled up in the corner of his eye, not from further pain, but from the unwanted emotions that jabbed at his heart carelessly. He shakily brought his hands up to Kirishima’s cupping his cheeks and sucking in a shaky breath.

”You fucking idiot..” He whispered softly, his voice cracking towards the end. “.. if you fucking die, I’ll kill you myself.” The red haired boy let out a soft chuckle, smiling brighter towards the other, taking a bold move and pressing a soft, tender kiss to his temple. He rested his forehead against his, murmuring soft reassurance to him.

“You won’t have to worry. I would never do that to someone I love.” This made Bakugo shake harder, more tears building up. He let out a choked sob that he disguised as a cough, wrapping his arms tightly around the other. He wanted to say something not mean. Something that would encourage the other into battle with a pride that could match Bakugo’s.

“.. Fuck you. You’re lucky you’re.. you, piece of shit.” He tried at least, though this seemed to be good enough for Kirishima, as he let out a soft snort. The red haired boy pulled after a moment, standing up and letting his hand enter back in with the rest of his quirk. He looked to the other with a sort of fondness in his eyes. Bakugo looked back at him with concern. Before the other could leave, Bakugo outstretched his hand, knowing it was useless due to the distance between them, but he did so anyway, calling out. ”Kiri wait!” Kirishima turned around, a confused look on his face as he stayed silent for the other to continue. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tight as he grumbled out. “.. I.. care about you, surprisingly. You’re lucky I haven’t blasted myself out of this shitty place without you to fight those fuckers, y’know??” He stopped himself, realising how selfish he was sounding. He huffed, opening his eyes and lowering them to the floor near Kirishima. “.. But.. I believe in you. I trust you. Don’t doubt yourself out there, I know you have a tendency to do that, you moron. And..” His face heated up, scowling to the floor as he murmured just loud enough for the other to hear him. “.. I like you. More than others. Take that as a damn compliment because it’s the only one you’ll be getting from me.” This was a lie, but he’d never admit to it. “Don’t get your face too mangled out there, you hear? Now scram so I can finally be alone!” He flusteredly shooed the other way, making the other chuckle and send a thumbs up his way.

“You got it! And.. I like you too. Quite a bit. I’ll remember that, so I have something to drive me. That something being, well..” He sent a wink off to Bakugo, readying himself to dash out of the room with his quirk at it’s highest capacity. “.. you.”

Without another word, he was up and gone.

Into the final fight.

#bakushima #bakushimavalentines #for valentines #i havent writen in 37979392797 years im dying please forgive me #im australian so if ur confused thts why it’s sorta early for you i guess #bnha #writing #angst #bakugo is hurt like the cliche i am and kiri just wants to FIGHT for his BF #I pray i did this right otherwise im kmsing

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kkpopdroptop · 7 years

Text

date night

you're juno's gf living in the states while he's off in south korea focusing on music and doing SMTM6

"Hey Juno!" Woodie excitedly hopped to his teammate, clapping a hand over his shoulder as they walked past the exit. "So guess what happened! I finally convinced Wonjae to get a drink with us tonight! You ready to go?"

Juno shrugged, "Go on without me, I can't tonight."

"What!" Woodie pouted, stopping in his tracks. "B-but, convincing Wonjae to get drinks with us took me forever!"

"Get drinks with Killa, Mezz or Hash, they'd be down for it." Juno suggested. Woodie stomped his foot on the ground and asked for a good reason to skip on drinks. "Ok fine, I can't come because I got a very special date with a very special lady."

"You have a date?" His friend yelled, making Juno nod in response. Woodie's expression suddenly turned excited, "A date! A date with with a real, live person?"

Another nod. Wait, should he be offended?

"Why didn't you just say so!" He began shooing Juno away from the studio, pushing him in the direction he was walking. "Go ahead, don't let me be in the way of true love!"

Juno laughed at the sudden mood change and chuckled to himself as your name popped up on his phone.

(y/n) ❤️: I'll be home in 30, be prepared for date night;)

You spritzed on your favorite perfume, smoothing out the silk of your dress and flouncing your hair a bit before running your fingers through it. You spent an hour doing our hair and makeup and now all you wanted to do was sleep now that you were done, but more importantly, there was someone waiting for you.

juno ❤️: ready whenever you are

The screen of the laptop lit up, your fingers immediately clicking on the Skype app and calling your one and only. After a couple rings, you were greeted by the handsome face of your boyfriend, "Hey Baby."

"Hey there Handsome." You smiled through the camera, your boyfriend's face coming through the screen clear as day. He looked just as handsome in a clean and crisp black button up with his hair slicked back and his face freshly shaved. You missed the smell of his aftershave, of his cologne, of his everything back in California.

But you were both sure that your long distance relationship would work out, that you weren't going to be another broken up couple with millions of miles between them.

"How's my girl doing?" He smiled, his pearly whites shining in the camera. You told him about your day at work, nothing out of the ordinary or exciting at all, so you asked him the same back. "Tired, but now that I get to see you, I'm not anymore."

You smiled as you took a bite of the pasta you made for yourself, trying to carefully not smudge your lipstick as Juno ate his meal too. You got up to get some more wine for yourself as you heard a low whistle.

"Damn, my baby be lookin' sexy just for me." Juno took in the sight of you in that silk dress, drooling over every single curve and line of you. He bit his lip and looked down for a moment, unsuccessfully trying to hide his grin.

You twirled around in your dress, the motion making the slit in the side of your left leg flaring up as you spun. You couldn't help the bashful smile on your lips as you noticed your boyfriend getting flustered.

He fixed his hair back with a happy smile as you eventually sat back down in front of your webcam, "God I just want to be with you right now and rip that dress—"

"Juno." You cut him off with a scandalized shake of your head. You felt your cheeks blush slightly as he winked at you again. Before he could insert another remark about ripping your very expensive dress off, you changed the subject, "How was Show Me the Money today?"

"Good, we had rehearsals and team bonding over food. We're filming the main battles tomorrow, so we have the rest of the day to relax and prepare. Woodie wanted me to get drinks with him and Wonjae, but I told him I had a date with a very special someone."

"You should have invited them over! I really want to meet them someday."

"Hell no, inviting them to date night? This is our thing, Baby." He grumbled. "And I already see them for eight plus hours of filming and rehearsal in between for the show."

"Not date night, but another time. I wanna meet your teammates and your friends and everyone." You picked at the last of your pasta after you finished your sentence, knowing what you just implied.

"I'll introduce you when you visit over here."

You stayed quiet for a moment before speaking up again, "That's not going to be for awhile and you know that, Juno." He always talked of you visiting him in South Korea, but you didn't want him to pay everything for your measly, small visit. You also knew your boss wouldn't let you off for two weeks, you were damn good at your job and she wasn't going to let her best worker off for more than three days.

"I told you, I'll pay for your airfare and everything and you can stay with me for a week or two till you go back! Baby, please."

You shook your head, "I told you, my boss needs me at work." Silence filled the space as you drank the last of your wine. Neither of you were looking at each other, until you spoke up again, "I miss you, and I know it sucks right now and I can't visit you, but soon, we'll be together again." You hoped for him to look up, and he did just that.

"I know."

"I'm sorry." You felt guilty for dampening the mood, for not being able to visit him, for putting him through all this. You felt your eyes water. Were you a bad girlfriend?

"Hey hey hey," he said softly, catching your attention. "You're not a bad girlfriend, don't be sorry about anything. We'll be together soon anyways."

You let out a small smile, hope and love blossoming in you chest again, "Soon."

"Soon." He nodded, staring back into the camera with the same love right back. "Love you."

"I love you too." You leaned forward, resting your chin in the palm of your hand as you just stared at him on your screen. The wine might have made you a little bit buzzed, but you were still in control of your mind and everything. You noticed Juno look down at his ringing phone, a small laugh escaping his lips before he shook his head. "What happened?"

"Woodie drunk texted me," he started, one drunk text appearing on his screen after another.

Woodie!! Gochild!!:

juNOOOOFLOOOOO, MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOEL WIFE WORLFFFFFF [9:23PM]

JUSR KIDDSING, YOU'RE BASICALLY MY HYUNGGGG [9:24PM]

YO'RE SO HANDSONE HYUNGGG,

SOORRY IM INTERRRUPTIG YORU DATE NIIGH WIT YOR GIFRLFRIEND, SHE'A A LUCKT LADY ;)))))) [9:25PM]

ALso wonjaae And hashie and killlaagamz arent here, AND I don'TTT AVE A RIDE HOMEEEEEE,, hep pleseee [9:25PM]

Juno let out a long sigh at the words of the last text, "Baby, I am so sorry." He started typing out a response to his friend, already cursing him out in his head in all the languages he knew. "But I think Woodie needs a ride home and all the guys ditched him."

"It's okay." You hiccupped. "I promise, it's alright." You emphasized, but even your boyfriend could easily tell that you were sad about ending your date early. "Make sure Woodie gets home safe."

"But Baby—"

"Hey don't feel bad for cutting off our date, Woodie's more important right now." You could sense his apprehension and the guilt in his eyes. "Even if we were out in Seoul at some fancy restaurant for date night and Woodie—or any one of your friends—called for a ride because they were too drunk to drive, I would end our date and make you drive to wherever they were to take them home."

Juno looked up at you on the screen silently, a small smile coming on his lips, "What? Their well-being matters to me too, they're your friends."

He shoved on his jacket as he continued to stare at you in amazement, a look of awe in his eyes. "Why are you such an amazing girlfriend?" He picked up his laptop and brought it over to his kitchen counter, trying to continue the call for as long as he could.

"Because I have an amazing and loving boyfriend." You confidently flipped your hair back and smirked. "Now go take care of your friends."

"Yes Ma'am." He saluted to you, you heard the jingle of his keys in his hands. "I promise to call you after I take him home."

"Good night, Mr. Westside." You teased with your nickname for him, even putting your fingers in the W-formation. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mrs. Westside." He said right back, a cheesy smile on his face.

"Bye." You added, the same cheesy grin on your lips as you clicked the red 'end call' button. The screen went black on your end, the Skype mainpage highlighting the most recent call with your boyfriend till you minimized that page and found yourself staring at your screensaver of you and him together.

Soon, you thought to yourself.

The smile on Juno's lips couldn't be erased even as he trekked all the way to his car and started for the bar Woodie was at. Thoughts of you two together filled his mind, happy memories of nights staying up late listening to his newest track, him watching you study for your classes, waking up together in the same bed and laying there for hours till your stomachs growled in unison. He loved you with all his heart and he knew you felt the same.

"Woodie! Woodie!" Juno called out, mumbling a stretch of curse words under his breath as he walked through the busy bar. He called Woodie's phone over and over till he heard the familiar ringtone at the end of the line of booths.

"Hyung!" A lone figure sat slumped in a booth, empty bottles of soju and money shoved under basket of peanuts on the table next to the ringing phone. "You're here!"

Juno helped his friend to his feet, gently draping Woodie's arm over his own shoulders, "We're going to the car, let's go home."

"Did I ruin your date? Hyung, I'm so so so sorry!" He wailed, leading to a number of spectators' eyes on them as they walked out of the bar back to the car. "I didn't mean to mess it all up for you and your date."

"You're fine, Woodie. (y/n) understands completely." He eased his friend into the passenger seat, buckling his belt and circling around to the driver's side.

"So her name's (y/n)?" Woodie sat up straighter and pursed his lips eagerly. "Tell me more about her. Do you like her? What does she look like—is she pretty? Was it love at first sight when she walked in? Are you in love with her already?" The barrage of questions came rolling through as Juno drove, each thought running in his mind becoming nothing but you.

"Yeah."

"Yeah what?"

"Yeah, I like her. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, I fell for her as soon as I saw her, and yes I'm in love with her."

#junoflo #junoflo scenarios #khh imagines #khh scenarios #my work

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turntechhex · 6 years

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all of them B)

Significant Other Asks.

okay its under the cut you shit

1. Tell the story about how you met.

the first time avi and i actually spoke was in a stream i was holding and i was just about to close it off because nobody popped in but then he did and then that lead to punk rock points

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for me but it hit me that i wanted to love him

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes are really sensitive to the light so he wears his shades a lot but god when he takes them off i get to see his eyes

theyre red and kind of like mine but not in the freaky albino way like mine

his are a beautiful deep red and when i look close enough i can see the little flecks of whatever mixed in

his hands arent scarred and scabbed like mine theyre soft but with a slight toughness to them and when we intertwine our fingers i can really feel that and i love kissing his fingertips just to show him that

and his laugh

god his laugh

i never want to hear anything else

the way it bubbles up and his head falls and his smile is so wide its beautiful

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

we are both the same sign and i dunno about that mbti stuff and i dont think any of it works for compatibility its kinda dumb

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

we live together

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

i had lit a bunch of fancy rose candles and turned out the lights and we just showered each other with so many kisses and then fell asleep together smiling stupidly it was nice

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

he always does something silly

he has this silly smile when he falls asleep and apparently when i sleep i look “angry or apathetic as fuck”

sometimes he walks in when im shaving my legs early in the morning with my hair in a bunch of mini pony tails so i can see and he knows hes seen a demon

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

avi doesnt have much of a family other than his sister and i havent met her

and dirk and hal are all ive got and dirk is pretty supportive and i think hal is too

if they werent it would hurt but i couldnt stop loving him yknow

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

he has four cats and i have an owl

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

we do not but maybe someday i havent really thought about it all too much

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

listen the best i can and do whatever i can

give him space if he needs it

hold him if he needs it

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

he listens

fuck he listens

he lets me cry and yell or whatever i need to do and he helps me

he lets me talk to him

he is everything to me when im having a hard time

he knows when to hold me and rub my back and hush me

he knows when to give me space and let me yell

he knows me so well

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

he moves a lot in his sleep

he has grabbed my ass on more than one occasion

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

we drive out to the coast sometimes its fun just driving away so yes

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

i learned that im allowed to be confident with my body and im beautiful and nothing anybody can say will crush that

i really started to stop wearing makeup to cover my spots because of him

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you?

“please dont ever talk about corpses in public again”

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

18. Describe the perfect day with your partner. It can be something that’s already happened, or something that you plan to do.

like i mentioned before just driving out to the coast

both of us laughing the whole way there

his smile as he watches the road that reflects in his eyes

watching the sun set when we finally get there and we just leave the car by the road and nobodys on the beach anymore and i run out to the water with him and it was cold as fuck so we just sat in the sand and held each other and looked up at the moon and he was so beautiful like he is everyday

and then we reluctantly got into the car and drove home mostly in silence expect the whispers of i love you

and we got back home and fell asleep with smiles on our faces it was perfect

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

i usually cook when we arent just having eggs

avi isnt the best cook >BP

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

theres a really not too fancy nice one downtown that we like

we watch movies at home and dont do much of that stuff

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly.

the ghost in the kitchen that insulted his butter spreading skills was being annoying

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

it was just about family shit it was dumb

we just ended talking

i learned that we both need to talk more and we do now

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner?

not really

24. Do you have a shipname?

not that i know of

25. Do you two have a “song”? What is it and how did it become your song?

do we have a song

26. Has your partner ever inspired something creative like your art, writing, etc?

ive painted him a few times and he helps me with colours and stuff when im stuck

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa?

we are pretty similar but other than that its just a good balance

we talk to each other

sometimes i suppose

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

i dunno

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them.

his dance performance in january he worked so hard for that and i brought him roses afterwards and he did so good

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled?

yes we both love physical shit and we make sure that its fulfilled and respected too

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk and text everyday

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

we laugh a lot of course

i dont know whos funnier

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

not that i can think of

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

yeah

there have

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

my love 💕💕

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

he is an amazing dancer

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

david rae strider

he is everything to me

he is my present and my future

he is the rest of my life

falling asleep next to him and waking up next to him is such a privilege and i feel like the luckiest goddamn man in the world to be able to love him

he makes me feel like the happiest man on earth to be able to love him

hes so understanding and patient and he listens to me

his movements are soft and not quick

he comforts me

he cries and i feel like im bleeding from tha inside out and i want to make sure he never has any reason to sad cry

he cries with a smile and i know that i am so in love with him

he kisses my nose and holds me

he kisses every single one of my spots and tells me im beautiful

he traces my scars on my back my arms my face my legs everywhere and kisses my neck still

he holds my hand in public and does fake proposals for free dessert

he knows all the words to every single grease song and so do i

his voice is so nice to hear and his smile is all ive ever wanted to see

his hair is soft and i like to kiss his stubble cheeks when he doesnt shave for a while

hes cute

hes beautiful

he realizes his mistakes

he bought me roses once and put a note inside that he wanted to have roses like that at our wedding someday

he kisses me without regret

he says that he loves me and i believe him

when he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him with tears in his beautiful eyes and held out a shaky beautiful hand with an earring in it

i knew that i loved this man with my entire being

and i said yes

god i said yes

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

we are moving into his sisters old place once hes done with school and we are getting married in the summer

we just know we want the rest of our lives to be together

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple?

talk to each other and dont try and hide important things and your feelings

dont be stupid but also do stupid things

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@bromosapiens

ur gross

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