#and now theyve started directing it at me and im just. getting tired. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spicebowl · 25 days

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i am just one humble manthing who grooms dogs. when the world collapses, i will still be a humble manthing that grooms dogs. what can i realistically do right now? direct action yes, boycotting yes, protesting yes, but in the grand scheme of things im just crying and mourning like everyone else. As a child many of the important people who helped raise me were chaldeans, first or second generation, from palestine. for them, i grieve, as i know theyve lost family yet again in this genocide, displaced in the country that funds it. but grief doesnt feed anyone, doesnt help stop the bombs or block off the trade routes for weapons. in doesnt garner more than a pat on the back before they return to dehumanizing and murdering a defenseless people.

and I think of Marjane Satrapis quote, "The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same."

I hope one day the west will learn its place, thrown to the wolves, fractured and restricted. I hope the global south makes their move. I hope americas hubris catches up with it. Should a world war start, i would pray for my countrys downfall, in that a global threat of violence, destruction, and subjugation might finally be eliminated. And i will have no grief for my country when it shatters.

A country built of the corpses of an entire continent of peoples can only stand so long. A country built by religious extremists exiled from their own countries to a continent in which they murdered everyone shouldnt be around. No country is without sins and no nation established without blood, but the US's level of depravity has long outperformed many other western nations.

I suppose ignorance and comfort are the only ways to ensure its public doesnt turn on the government.

I guess this is the same hopelessness that tires many other people, i dont have a real point here. I dont want to feel hopeless, and ive only been paying attention for the last 5 years really. this fight has come before me and will continue after me. humanity is an idea we must spread, apparantly, as modern humans forget how to and chafe at caring or helping one another.

Understand that without eachother, we are alone. We become powerless as individuals. We get walked over and ignored and used. When we put the effort into eachother, its returned and love, respect, admiration, and decency are allowed to shine through if we can only look at eachothers personhood.

A person in palestine lived and worked and went to school, scraped their knees and got them kissed to make it better, helped their children learn their harder lessons, rode bikes, had secrets and romances, had queer experiences and hid them from families with the same anxiety many queer people always feel. They loved and laughed and danced and when the bombs fell, it was on fathers and brothers, mothers and daughters, real people with rich lives cut short. Sonder is a powerful feeling that once felt can recontextualize everything.

We have to care because they are people like we are people, struggling and wanting, laughing and raging, saving the best cuts of meat for the ones they love, with their own inside jokes in friend groups and mistakes with lovers and any other aspect of humanity you yourself experience. I dont think we could ever convince those in power of the importance of their humanity and how damning it is to our own when we harm eachother like this.

Can't we care? Aren't we allowed to recognize eachother? Who are we if we let them be slaughtered so brutally, so disgustingly and ruthlessly? Less than humans and more akin to beasts hellbent on destruction.

#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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faintstatic · 2 years

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female, fem aligned, or she/hers do not interact please. i kindly ask you to respect my boundaries. thank you

this one is self indulgent because its something i deal with, but i hope for it to find other people comfort too

contents: some angst with fluff, izuku midoriya/deku, he/him reader with mental and physical fatigue, swearing, possibly depression? if you view it that way, yelling/arguing, no quirk au/casual

‐–—drained—–‐

izuku had asked if you wanted to watch tv with him, and you agreed. it sounded like a good relaxing time, but ended up being the complete opposite.

,,Yeah?! I'd like to see you try!" katsuki yelled from beside you to izuku on your other side. ,,I have, and won! But you're too caught up in your ego to admit it!" izuku responded in a tone just as loud. thats all theyve done today, argue. it was normal, sure, but they really seemed adamant about getting under eachothers skin today. most of class 1-A was out of their rooms and lounging around, including you, who was trying to watch some tv. thanks to the two yelling idiots on both sides of you though, you couldnt even think at this point.

you managed to drown out their words eventually, all it was to you was loud noises now. it didnt matter what they were saying anyway, you just wanted them to be quiet. your head was starting to ache and you couldnt take anymore. you wanted to scream at both of them but you just didnt have the energy to. you silently stood up from the couch and headed to your room. ,,Look, you ran Y/N away!" izuku said pointing in your direction. ,,ME?! HE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU!" katsuki screamed.

you sighed and kept walking. theyre the most childish duo youd ever seen. you entered your room and closed the door behind you, immediately heading to your bed to lie face first into the pillows. you felt like groaning but just couldnt muster it, you were so tired. you thought about playing a game on your phone, but didnt feel like you had enough energy to. every idea you had ended with ,im too tired'. it was like that very often.

you once were very productive and energetic, and you arent really sure what caused you to suddenly crash and burn but as the days went by you just felt more and more fatigued. you were barely active, not getting out of bed unless forced. or in this case, since your best friend asked to watch tv with you. you didnt feel like talking or doing any activities, all the stuff you used to enjoy now felt more like a chore or that you felt too tired to do it. it was very rare you ever had motivation.

you sighed through your nose as you turned your head to the side, deciding youd nap. you closed your eyes, already feeling sleep trying to take over and you werent putting up a fight in the least. when you finally fell asleep, or at least got very close, you heard a knock at your door. you felt anger spread throughout your mind, not mixing well with the drowsiness. you didnt say anything, not only because you didnt feel like it but also to make the person think you were asleep or busy. clearly it didnt work though, because the knocking happened again. ,,Y/N? Are you in there? May I come in?" you heard izuku say.

you mentally groaned before putting what seemed like all your strength into an audible ,,yes." you heard the knob twist and the door open, seeing the once dark room fill with light. it didnt last long though, as he closed the door after he entered. ,,Are.. Are you alright? I'm sorry about me and Kacchan's yelling.." he said, rubbing his arm. you didnt respond. you wanted to, but it felt like you had to strain to say anything at all. ,,Y/N?" izuku said as he got closer. he turned on a lamp that was on your bedside table. you made a ,nnhmf' noise in response and put your arm over your eyes.

,,Please talk to me if you can, I want to know if you're okay." he said as he lightly rubbed your arm. you stayed still but eventually moved your arm to look at him. he smiled seeing your face. ,,Can you at least tell me how you feel? Or how I can make it up to you?" he asked. you took a deep breath in, storing up energy to talk to him.

,,i dont think im alright. i never feel like doing anything and.." you stop, closing your eyes. ,,its so hard to even get up in the mornings. all of my hobbies seem like tasks and i wouldnt have even left my room today if you hadnt asked to spend time with me." you sigh. ,,dont get me wrong, i still love getting to hang out with you but whenever i do it just seemes like you and bakugo are competing or yelling about somthin stupid. it tires me. i dunno, im just so.. drained." you finished as you continued to lay there.

izuku had a frown on his face, he knew you hadnt been feeling well but youd always wave it off saying you were tired. it wasnt a lie, but its more than just being tired. you were rarely seen happy anymore. he felt horrible knowing that he was a part of the reason, due to his and katsukis fighting. ,,I-I'm.. I'm really sorry. I should have been more considerate about how you felt, I get so riled up in my quarrels with him that I guess I just.. Get caught up in it and forget what's going on around me. He's really been getting on my nerves lately but- this isn't about me." he stops himself as he turns his full attention towards you.

,,Please allow me a chance to make it up to you. We don't have to leave your room if you're tired, I just want you to feel better. Can I do anything? Do you want me to leave?" izuku asks worriedly. you groan out a ,,ugmhf no." izuku tilts his head. ,,Uh.. Which part are you saying no to?" he asked. you sighed and patted the other side of the bed. ,,turn off the damn light and please hold me. thats all i want." you said, wishing he could just read your mind. you had talked too much today and it was taking a toll on you.

he felt warmth rise to his face, but did as you said and turned off the lamp. he walked to the other side of the bed and climbed on it, getting close to you. ,,Um, how should I uh.. Hold you?" he asked nervously, unsure of what to do. you sighed and lifted yourself up to lay on his chest, then went limp again. he felt his blush increase, you were so close. he wasnt complaing, it just had been a while. it wasnt often you both cuddled, this moment was special to him. he put his arms around you and lightly stroked your back. you dug your face into him more, enjoying the slow rubbing.

his fast beating heart soon slowed, relaxing into the position. you still looked tired, but definitely more peaceful now. he smiled at you, though you couldnt see it anyway. ,,..I love you." he whispered. he closed his eyes, soon dozing off himself.

#male reader #x male reader #izuku midoriya #my hero academia #deku x male reader #angst fic #fluff fic

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yeoldontknow · 3 years

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🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel!

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that.

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates.

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow.

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

#writer conversation tag

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irwen-s · 4 years

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wendy falls trying to grab something and the pain of landing on her wrist throws her into regression which none of the girls had ever had any experience with and don’t know what to do

i rolled a four sided dice (on google wheeze) and got joy so here we go

there are many dangers when it comes to baking, seungwan knows. even so, she never could have anticipated this one.

its on one of their rest days between promotions when she finally gets around to having the time to bake cookies for everyone, and seungwan is elated. shes in the kitchen, bustling around gathering all the tools and ingredients she’ll need, opening and closing kitchen cabinets and drawers.

its then that she remembers having left the bag of chocolate chips in one of the upper cabinets, out of easy reach just to discourage any of the members from trying to eat them before she can even use them.

and so seungwan drags one of the stools up to the counter, then carefully steps onto it. its with a grin that she opens the cabinet to see the bag of chocolates, untouched and unopened.

when she shuffles a bit closer to grab for it, her foot misses the surface of the stool.

and then seungwan slips off with a cry of surprise.

yerim is the closest to the kitchen when from it comes a yelp followed by a crash. shes up and out of her seat, stumbling toward the kitchen where the sound of wailing breaks out, and the sight that greets her when she enters makes her eyes widen in alarm. “unnie!”

seungwan is lying on the ground, awkwardly twisted on her side, face contorted in pain and messy with tears, crying loudly.

yerim drops to her knees just as seulgi, joohyun, and sooyoung barge in behind her. she isnt sure what to do, hands hovering hesitantly over seungwans fallen form, afraid to touch her where she might be injured. the way shes sobbing so uncontrollably makes it all the more nerve-wracking.

“her arm,” joohyun speaks up quickly, dropping to her knees beside yerim. seungwans cries are shrill, terrifying in a way theyve never heard her sound before. “seungwan-ah, we’re going to sit you up, can you breathe for me?”

its like seungwan cant hear her. sooyoung moves around to seungwans other side as joohyun continues to murmur gentle encouragements, and her arm slides around seungwans back in support as yerim and joohyun carefully pull her upright. shes choking on her sobs now, tears sliding down flushed cheeks as shes propped up against sooyoungs chest, shuddering cries wracking her small frame.

“its her wrist. she hurt her wrist,” yerim immediately points out, and their eyes collectively fall to seungwans hand. the skin is bruised, dark and discolored.

“unnie, youre okay, youre okay, can you take deep breaths with me?” sooyoung soothes, smoothing back seungwans hair as joohyun tells seulgi to get an ice pack, her lips brushing seungwans ear. seungwan only chokes on another pained cry, shaking her head frantically.

sooyoung quickly slides herself to sit down properly before carefully guiding seungwan into her lap, cradled against her chest. seungwan immediately turns her face into her neck, trembling in her arms, her uninjured hand desperately clutching onto sooyoungs shirt.

shes hiccuping through strained cries, likely from tiring her voice, and sooyoung rubs soothing circles against her back as she presses her lips to seungwans temple, murmuring softy. “im right here, unnie, youre okay. just breathe for me.”

“n-not unnie,” seungwan sobs in a shaky voice. she lifts her hand up, as if to wipe her face, then whimpers at the movement. yerim quickly guides her hand away and into her lap, fingers coiled gently around her forearm.

“wan-ah,” sooyoung says then, switching immediately, her fingers carding through seungwans hair. seungwan sniffles against the crook of her neck, the tears staining her cheeks wetting sooyoungs skin as she cries quietly. “wan-ah, youre okay, sooyoungie’s here.”

seulgi returns then with an ice pack wrapped in a small towel, and she kneels next to yerim before carefully pressing it against seungwans wrist. “youre okay, its just a little bruise, wannie.” she tries to smile reassuringly, but seungwan jerks at the touch of the ice pack.

“c-cold,” she hiccups tearfully as she attempts to pull her arm away.

“yerim-ah,” joohyun quickly says, but yerim is already tightening her grip around seungwans arm, murmuring “i got her” as she gently but firmly keeps it anchored in her lap. seulgi moves the ice pack back against her wrist with a soft “sorry, wannie.”

sooyoung holds seungwan securely against her as she begins to squirm and cry louder. “wan-ah, the ice will help it hurt less, its okay,” she tries to explain, rocking her to calm her down. “its all right. youre okay, wannie.”

“mama,” seungwan cries in a small, wobbly voice, and all of them freeze. they watch as seungwan shakes her head back and forth against sooyoung, sobbing weakly into her neck. “mama, h-hurts.”

“her mom?” seulgi whispers in confusion as joohyun furrows her eyebrows. sooyoung cradles the back of seungwans head, keeping her tucked close against her chest, exchanging worried and puzzled glances with the others.

yerim has been watching seungwan closely, and she speaks up then. “no, i think she means you, sooyoung-unnie,” she says slowly. seulgi and joohyun look at yerim in surprise as sooyoungs eyes widen.

“me?” sooyoung asks hesitantly.

“its a hunch,” yerim admits, but her eyes are still trained on seungwans trembling form, the way she looks too fragile and vulnerable. hiding her face in sooyoungs neck, hiccuping unsteadily. “shes only been responding to you.”

sooyoungs lips part in surprise, realization dawning on her. “wannie,” she says tentatively against seungwans ear, keeping her voice low and soothing. “can you look at—at mama, for me?”

theres a shaky, nervous sniffle, but then they watch as seungwan slowly moves her head away from sooyoungs neck. puffy, watery eyes look up at her, and sooyoungs heart wrenches at the sight of cheeks flushed and shiny with tears, at the way her lip wobbles.

“oh, baby,” sooyoung whispers in a heartbroken voice, and her hands cradle seungwans face, thumbs brushing against her cheeks as seungwan whimpers in her lap, fresh tears slipping from the corner of her eyes. “im so sorry, wannie. mama’s—mama’s here.”

“hurts,” seungwan hiccups again, squirming to clutch onto sooyoung. yerims fingers wrapped around her injured hand stop her from fully doing so, so sooyoung quickly shifts closer to pull seungwan back against herself, tucked close.

“i know, baby, i know,” she whispers soothingly, letting seungwan press her face back against her neck. she runs her fingers through seungwans hair, feeling her her breathing begin to calm.

“im going to get tissues,” joohyun murmurs quietly, rising from her knees. she looks down at them, gaze moving to rest over seungwan last, heavy with concern. “sooyoung-ah, can you carry her to the couch?”

sooyoung nods. “yes, unnie.”

joohyun turns to yerim and seulgi then. “go with her, make sure wan doesnt move her wrist too much,” she directs, and they both nod in acknowledgement.

they all get to their feet then. sooyoung is the last to stand, careful and slow so as to not jostle seungwan cradled in her arms, who only lets out a small whimper into her shoulder.

“ive got you, baby, mama’s here. we’re just going to the couch, okay?” sooyoung reassures. yerim holds onto seungwans forearm, and after nodding at sooyoung, they both begin to move to the living room, seulgi trailing behind them. joohyun disappears into the hallway.

sooyoung sits down on the couch with seungwan settled in her lap, yerim seated next to them. seulgi hands her the ice pack, which yerim presses against the bruised skin of seungwans wrist. the touch startles seungwan, who lets out a small cry.

sooyoung shushes her quickly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of seungwans head. “its okay, baby, its just ice. youre okay. mama has you.”

a hand holds out a tissue from behind her, which sooyoung accepts gratefully.

“thank you, unnie,” she whispers, and joohyun nods, settling the box down next to where shes seated. she gestures for yerim to move away so she can take her place as sooyoung gently coaxes seungwans face away from her neck again, dabbing at her tear-stained cheeks with the tissue. seungwans hiccups, leaning feebly into her touch.

theyre all quiet now, watching as sooyoung lets seungwan curl against her after drying her tears, rubbing her back in slow, calming circles and murmuring soothingly into her ear. an occasional sniffle comes from seungwan, but shes no longer trembling, and her cries have quieted.

gradually, sooyoung feels seungwans breathing begin to even out, exhales soft as small puffs of air tingle the skin of her neck.

“shes asleep,” sooyoung mouths to the others. joohyun nods, and relief seems to flood into the room, relaxing all of them as seulgi slumps back into the couch and yerim lets out a sigh of relief.

“lets let her rest,” joohyun says quietly, loosening her grip around seungwans forearm. when no one moves from their seats, the corner of her lips tug up in slight amusement. theyre all too worried to go anywhere else.

“do we know whats going on with wannie?” seulgi tentatively whispers.

its silent for a minute, everyones gazes falling back to seungwan.

“we’ll ask her when she wakes up,” joohyun says finally, after a long moment.

sooyoung wraps her arms around seungwan a little tighter.

—

its a few hours later when seungwan wakes up groggily to soft murmurs and the hum of the stove from the kitchen. she yawns, slowly cracking open her eyes, then comes face to face with sooyoung, whos watching her carefully.

“sooyoungie?” she mumbles sleepily.

“unnie,” sooyoung says, gauging, and seungwan furrows her eyebrows, realizing shes curled up in sooyoungs lap and starting to wonder why, before her hazy memory begins to remember what happened as she sees sooyoung holding the ice pack to her wrist.

“oh—oh my god, shit!” seungwan yells in surprise, stuttering and jerking and almost falling off the couch. she scrambles to get out of sooyoungs lap, apologizing profusely as her eyes water and her vision blurs.

its hard for her to breathe, she feels herself trembling as she gasps frantically, chest suddenly too tight. distantly, she hears sooyoung murmuring something as the commotion from the kitchen cuts off abruptly.

seungwan starts to cry, her brain fuzzy, feeling herself slipping again because shes still sleepy and tired and feels so bad.

“its age regression,” sooyoung finally bursts out, holding seungwan against her as she hyperventilates in her arms. “you regress to a younger age, i know, i searched it up. wan-ah, its okay. its okay.”

seungwan is still apologizing through shaky, frantic gasps, tears sliding down her face, but sooyoung pulls her close and shushes her, now brave enough and more understanding.

“deep breaths, wan-ah, just breathe,” sooyoung whispers, and eventually she feels seungwan slowly relax against her, slumping weakly against her chest, taking shuddering breaths, slowly returning to herself. sooyoung kisses her temple, rubbing her back.

“i-im so sorry,” seungwan apologizes hoarsely again after a moment.

“theres nothing to apologize for,” sooyoung says firmly, shaking her head. her heart aches with so much love, so much adoration, its almost overwhelming. “i’m so happy you trust me enough—trust me to be your mama.”

seungwan sniffles against her. “t-thank you, sooyoungie,” she whispers tiredly, closing her eyes, and sooyoung presses a soft, soothing smile against her hair.

#red velvet #wenjoy #wendy #joy #ot5 #age regression #sfw #answered #thank you for the ask! im not sure how good this is though #first time writing this #this is way longer than i ever planned

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wickymicky · 5 years

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so, um, ive been sorta drifting in and out of sleep and i saw that it was 5am so i watched the new clc video lmao... hell yeah dude i really liked it haha. that was a really, really fun song. its not the same intense heavy girl crush theyve been doing since hobgoblin (with the exception of where are you) but at the same time, i think it fits in their discography really well. maybe its just the video, but it kinda feels somewhat like pepe? it wasnt what i was expecting from a song called ‘devil’, i thought itd be more like hobgoblin, but honestly im really pleasantly surprised lol. i love hobgoblin, but idk, im not as interested right now in hearing more songs in that vein. if they did another song like ‘no’ and ‘me’ i’d probably still like it cause i like those songs, but i wouldnt like it as much as i like this. my only complaint at the moment is that it feels short. it just kinda... ends. and im vibing with it too much and im not ready for it to be over lol. luckily, i can just press play again, cause its really fast to start up, it doesnt waste much time getting to the good stuff haha. ive listened to it like three times during the writing of this post and yeah i can tell for sure now that i like this a lot. i wasnt like eagerly anticipating it cause honestly i got kinda tired of ‘me’, but again, i’m very pleasantly surprised. im gonna listen like one or two more times and then go back to sleep.

also like every scene in the video screaaaams digipedi to me, but i cant find any confirmation of who directed it. i’m pretty sure though

#o #clc

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frigfridge · 5 years

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just finished rewatching toy story 1 thru 3 over the past few days, wanted to share my thoughts:

i love these movies a whole lot. the first 2 hold a bunch of nostalgia for me because i was A Baby when 2 came out and when i was also A Baby i would just watch our VHS copy of toy story 1 over and over again. this also makes me the exact age group to be emotionally destroyed by toy story 3, which came out just as i was entering high school and hit really close to home

individual thoughts:

toy story: the first thing i noticed was it still looks really nice even watching in 2019!! which i think is kind of spectacular for the first feature-length computer-animated film. it no doubt helps that the plot is mostly focused on little plastic dolls without realistic hair or clothing to animate but the semi-”cartoon” art direction means the human characters also look pretty nice without going too far into the uncanny valley.

also, the plot is WAY darker than i remember?? not because of sid and all the body horror toys, but because for like half of the movie woodys friends think hes an actual (toy) murderer carrying around the severed arm of his victim (!!) like, its hilarious, but also wow theres a LONG way to go between there and the climax of toy story 3.

the soundtrack is probably my favorite of the bunch. part of that is probably nostalgia but i just really like the consistency of having randy newman singing every song. it sort of elevates him to part of the story, like an omniscient narrator singing woodys (and later buzzs) inner monologue. 2 (and especially 3) didnt have as many musical numbers, which i can understand with a shift to a larger-scale approach to storytelling, but i really like the feeling it gives number 1. “you got a friend in me” is an obvious classic thats been remixed and brought back in just about every piece of toy story media im aware of, but “strange things” and “i will go sailing no more” deserve just as much recognition and praise. there just isnt a weak number among them

toy story 2: heres where the story started getting bigger and more existential, which basically becomes the new direction of the series. which makes sense! this one released 4 years after the first, and while theres no real timeskip in the story (maybe 6 months?) it had been a little while since we last saw woody and the gang. everybody in the real world had gotten older, and with the turn of the millennium approaching, the theme of impermanence loomed large in the collective unconscious. well, maybe not in my unconscious, because i was 2. but its really interesting as kind of a “time capsule” to what people were thinking about as the 90s came to a close.

so toy story 2 was a little more grounded, a little more focus on the human world, but it was also more fantastical in its presentation. the opening “video game” sequence (which still looks amazing!!) and woodys nightmare (”i dont wanna play with you anymore...”) show the animators at pixar really found their groove and started getting experimental. and to great result!! the fantasy sequences are a lot of fun and help 2 really stand out.

i would be remiss not to mention jessies flashback song here. its something else they hadnt really done in the first film and i think it really works. jessie in this film unfortunately doesnt get to do much other than fight with woody about whether he should stay or go (except for when she saves him in the end) but this song makes her character work. it also helps that it destroys me every time

also i think this is the movie that gave me an appreciation for the acting of kelsey grammer. i dont really agree with his politics (i also dont know specifically what they are) but he is a damn fine actor and gives the prospector a very genuinely intimidating edge after his heel turn. the casting really makes the character here, but thats nothing new for toy story-- every voice works. if i were the casting director, i probably wouldnt have pulled erudite kelsey grammer for a character named “stinky pete,” but as it is now i couldnt imagine him voiced by anyone else.

the last thing about toy story 2 is it feels like there were a lot more pop culture references? at least as far as i noticed. there are apparently even more than i noticed but i caught on to the “also sprach zarathustra” riff in the opening, and the jurassic park rearview mirror gag. and of course the extended star wars reference with zurg vs. utility belt buzz (and i guess zurg in general.) the references are cute and mostly unobtrusive but really i could take or leave them.

oh yeah also al is hilarious. just this rude, neurotic businessman whos incredibly self-important for the owner of a minor(?) toy store chain. hes such a puffed-up jerk, every time hes on-screen is a delight

toy story 3: this one kills me to death. i always get misty-eyed during “when somebody loved me” but the ending of 3 where andy introduces his toys to bonnie and plays with them one last time made me sob the first time i watched it. and it still does! thats the long game right there, thats the payoff of over 10 years loving these characters. its an emotional ketchup bomb, everything gets all messy and soggy and sweet. hopefully 4 can follow up, but im not really worried about that-- ive heard some good things. damn, its been 9 years since this movie came out, though! it really doesnt feel all that long, but i guess i havent been doing all that much

i actually dont know if i have much else to say about 3. the opening with the re-imagining of the previous films openings (woody versus one-eyed bart, buzz and woody vs. the evil dr. porkchop) is a highlight, although theres a conspicuous lack of bo peep. ive heard she has a big part in 4, but it was kind of weird to see a lot of toys missing and their absence (mostly) glossed over after the first few minutes. i miss r.c. and lenny, but i get they wanted to narrow down the cast so all of them could get in on the plot.

speaking of which, the escape scene is great too. its kind of a crystallizing moment of how close these characters are, and how well they work together. it reminds me a lot of the escape from sids house in the first movie, but there woody was working with sids body-horror toys and seemed to strike up a rapport with them bizarrely quickly. (speaking of which, i miss those toys! their designs were super cool, but i cant imagine they got much merchandise, especially babyface with the sharp, metal spider legs.) here, though, woody and the gang cooperate the best they ever have, and it really paints a picture of how close theyve become over the years, and justifies the emotional climax in the landfill. this is what i was talking about when i said i was surprised how dark toy story 1 got! these toys all hated woodys guts back then for what they thought he did to buzz. they kicked him out of a moving truck! its just weird to think about that conflict between them when you know how long they end up sticking together. but thats, like, neat, so its ok. it feels earned, its just kind of crazy in hindsight.

toy story 3 was also obviously made long after the first two-- by comparison, the lighting is way more sophisticated, the humans are a lot more detailed. theres just a lot more detail In General. the main cast is, like, super dirty for the middle 90% of the film, and it feels like, yeah, We Have This Technology Now. we can render so many individual glitter sprinkles suck to hamms ass and they will be in every single scene. the “fur tech” on lotso and buster is also an obvious clue, especially in the flashback to lotso trudging through the rain back to his owners house. its like “look! we can make this teddy bear SO wet!” and wow! yeah! you did! so wet!

lotso himself is also an interesting villain in terms of sheer bastardness. he is just a huge jerk. he could have hit that button so easily! and he was so mean to the baby! but at the same time hes a great character in how he slowly “changes” throughout the movie. he is kind of an obvious “pixar ‘twist’ villain” but again, the amazing performance by ned beatty really saves him. also he does get a nice comeuppance at the end, which was necessary because hes really the biggest villain in the series so far. hes knowingly malicious and doesnt have any greater motive, hes just an embittered megalomaniac who (apparently) has sent other toys to be broken, thrown away, and incinerated at the landfill. he honestly deserves worse than being strapped to the front of a truck but it works for a family movie.

i have a couple more thoughts on 3 (i guess i did have a fair amount of stuff to say about it) but im getting tired of writing. the music is good as usual, but the vocal stuff being entirely back-loaded (in the credits) is a bit disappointing since ive always been a fan of the songs, but i get that they were going for something different. the jokes about ken being, uh, ‘flamboyant’ felt out of place, mostly the one at the end (”uh, buzz? barbie didnt write this”) because it comes from one of the gang and not unnamed lotso goon #3, but i guess its pretty tame in the scheme of things.

overall im really looking forward to seeing what 4 does with the series. whew!

#hopefully ill see 4 this weekend #personal essay #got pretty honkin long. click at your own risk

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saintpatrice · 5 years

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Idk why, but this Chara-Kane fight seems to have brought up a lot of discussions around whether fighting is a necessary part of the game and I have a lot of thoughts.

the nhl landscape has changed so much in the last 10-15 years. 15 years ago, every team had 1+ enforcers, players who’s only role was to - enforce. But then the game started shifting towards what we have today - faster, more skilled. It opened up opportunities for players who were smaller with speed - players like Marner and Hischier would not have thrived in the nhl 15 years ago, because they just wouldn’t have been able to have space. And I love this direction. But, I wonder, is it opening up a gap for exploitation. I feel like I see some primarily younger players who seem to recognize that a lot of teams don’t have ANY enforcers now, and they use that to their advantage. They annoy the shit out of players, they toe the line, they start shit. And the worst that happens is they get a penalty maybe. If someone does try to throw hands cuz they’ve been jawing off all night, there’s no social contract in the ngl anymore saying you have to square up. They can essentially instigate a fight, and then walk away, making their opponent look like an asshole.

All this is not to say that I think the nhl should shift back towards enforcers, cuz I honestly don’t. I just think that there is a vulnerable window right now that the league is failing to crack down on, where you have players taking advantage of this in an unsportsmanlike like way. I think there is a clear line that can be drawn between players who fight because they have to/there is a reason (aka a dirty hit against them/their teammate), and a growing trend of players who fight because they’re good at it and they’re throwing dirty hits in the interim cuz they know no one can stop them. I say this as a fan, but I think Tom Wilson falls in the second category. Ryan Reaves is another player that comes to mind. Meanwhile, on the other hand, the Chara-Kane fight pointed out to me how old school Chara is. He hasn’t fought in a Long time, to the point that I think people wondered if maybe he’s just too old for it now, too tired? He fought tonight because Kane literally ragdolled him from behind, and by the old social conventions of the early 2000s nhl that chara played in, he couldn’t back down. And not only that, he kicked Kane’s ass. And honestly, kanes reaction pissed me off. Because despite going after chara, he clearly wanted it to be over once chara hit the ice. He didn’t give chara a fair chance, and then he tried to skate away, or get the refs to intervene. And that’s the loophole I’m talking about, that players are taking advantage of.

Fighting used to be a way to keep things in line - yes, sometimes it was more about re-energizing your team, but often it was retaliation for a dangerous hit - and now it seems like fighting has become a tool for the bullies to use to keep doing what they’re doing (also, for fired up purposes, but those are more fun lmao). Maybe. Or maybe not. Idk. I think my main take away is - if you’ve earned yourself a punch in the face, square up.

#ignore this #literally gonna delete just tryna figure out my thoughts

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multiimuse · 5 years

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🌀~

12. — stranger

Radiant Garden, Naminé thinks, might truly end up becoming a home. She’s never had a home before; all she’s ever lived in were prisons. This castle, though --- shadows cling to it in places, in a few corners and rooms, but it feels like a home that’s being cleaned up and put to rights. Just like the lives of those that called it home before this world fell; none of them are perfect people, but they’ve all been so kind, and she thinks she likes staying here. Today, she’s sitting just outside of the castle, on a step that leads down to exposed pipeworks that might have led into one of the world’s namesake gardens back in better days.

Her sketchpad is in her lap, her pencil case beside her, and she’s drawing. Of late, her drawings have been of the people and things around her; her own experiences rather than those of Sora or Roxas. She’s drawn things that catch her eye, or presents for the people she cares about. Today, however, she’s drawing from memory; trying to reconcile something in her own head. Absently, she reaches for a pencil that will make a good skintone, and lets her mind drift back. This picture is going to be hard, and the only way she can get it right is to let her mind carry her to where it needs to go.

The endless expanse of sky and clear water is beautiful, and calming, but it’s also lonely. It reminds Naminé of her earliest emotions, her desperation for company and rescue, and though it’s peaceful here she can’t feel happy. She hasn’t managed to hold on to enough of herself to hold a true form, but she can sense the others here, and knows that Sora is attempting to gather his pieces up so that he can save everyone.

Time has little meaning in a place like this, so for now all she can do is wait --- wait, and be ready to reach out to a heart and mind still struggling against the darkness that’s overtaken him. But waiting is lonely, and it hurts, and if she had been able to hold onto a form she thinks she would have dropped to her knees from the weight of it. As it is, she sighs, a fragile sound that is at once nearly inaudible and echoing, only to find the sound mirrored by another voice.Oh. Oh, she’s drifted near another presence --- one as sad and lonely as she is. There’s no hiding things like that here, where the small bits of yourself you still possess are on display. (It’s why, she thinks, she couldn’t fool Sora when they spoke; that and the kindhearted boy’s own sensitivity.)

“Hello,” she greets that other presence, hoping she’s correct in thinking that this person is aware enough to respond.

“Hello,” the stranger says, sounding both shy and tired in a way that reminds Naminé of... well, herself. “You spoke with Sora, too? Is he a friend of yours?”

Now this is familiar territory, and if Naminé had enough of herself to nod, she would. As it is, conviction strengthens her voice. “Yes,” she says. “I’m Naminé, and I’m waiting for him to save his other friends --- and... and me, too, I guess.” And then, she thinks, she’ll have done her part to save him and everyone else, too.

“I see,” the stranger says, and falls quiet. They both drift in silence for a time, and Naminé thinks that might be that --- until, just as suddenly as she’d approached, that soft voice speaks up again. “I don’t know my name any more, but I’m waiting for someone, too. I’ve been waiting... a very long time, I think.” The wistful, sad tone of her voice pulls at Naminé, distracts her from her own resignation, and she finds herself wondering if, while shes’ here, she might not be able to offer some comfort to another lost soul.

“I’m sorry,” she says, expressing her sympathy for the lost name and the waiting alike. “Can you tell me about the one you’re waiting for? They sound very important to you.”

“He is,” comes the response, carrying with it so much love and sadness that Naminé thinks it might become tangible, here in this place beyond worlds. “And I suppose I could tell you a little, but his name’s a secret~!’

Even now, Naminé can remember it clearly. They spoke for what might have been hours, had time been a thing, or maybe it was only a few minutes. But either way, she learned about the person her nameless companion was waiting for: he was kind, and gentle, well-spoken and, apparently, a bit vain. He had lost himself, his memory and his heart alike, and become someone unrecognizable.

She reaches for another pencil, letting her heart guide her fingers, and starts working on her drawing’s eyes. Naminé’s already completed the hair, though her hand shook and made the pencil veer off in directions she didn’t want it to go. Picking out a clear, bright blue, she begins filling in the eyes. She bites her lip hard enough to hurt, but doesn’t let herself falter. This was always going to be hard, but she wanted --- no, she needed to do it. If she doesn’t follow through with it now, she thinks she’ll be losing something.

When that’s done, she sets the pencil aside and tips the sketchpad back, surveying her work. A bust of Marluxia stares up at her, pink hair falling to a shoulder line that is the bottom of the drawing. But the blue eyes and smile that grace his features are soft, a gentleness to them that is a far cry from the cold and terrifying man she knew. It’s frightening, to think about that man still existing, but he has as much right to his humanity as anyone else --- as much right to his heart as Saïx, who had been cruel to Xion and Roxas but is now being tentatively welcomed as a friend.

Looking at the strangely gentle smile on a face that had always been distant and cruel, Naminé lets herself wonder if there’s anyone who misses him.

#;muse: namine #;kh3 spoilers #;kingdom hearts spoilers #;kh spoilers #;spoilers #strangefellows

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kiilonova · 5 years

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cont. from last one: just go wild !! random facts !! infodump abt him to me !!

aight here we go. im just listing these as they come to mind.

his actual “hero” name is S1REN, the name of the test group he was in. he didnt pick it.

hes originally from dorado. he was kidnapped by vishkar and moved to a facility just outside of town in a partnership with lumerico.

he has wings. sombra gave him a jet-powered glider when he was 15, and then he’d been upgrading from there. after the explosion in the bar, his spine had to be replaced, so sombra made sure he had wings that could clip into it and be controlled mentally.

he has essentially hypnosis powers. vishkar edited his dna to produce bioluminescent retinal cells that he can activate to stun or influence anyone vishkar directed him at

his gun is also from vishkar. its an experimental rapid-fire pistol. it holds 50 bullets and in-game would likely function like tracer’s pistols.

he hates explosions. the reason he escaped vishkar was because some of the older children being experimented on decided to revolt, and one of the lab technicians ended up setting off an unstable reactor. mani was the only survivor.

he joined los muertos soon after he escaped. they were like “hey kid give us your money” and he was 13 so he was bitchy like “fuck off” and his eyes flashed and they were like “holy shit” and took him to sombra. sombra was like “ill train this kid to be almost as good as me” (she would be about 22 at the time)

when mani was about 18, he was like “actually im tired of crime all the time” and sombra was like “ok ill sneak you to europe and you can go to school” bc she didnt care about him that much (/s) and he went and studied psychology. he also started a band

in this band he played a few instruments: drums, bass guitar, and synth keyboard. the music was somewhere between grandson and brick + mortar.

mani follows lucio on twitter, and has been noticed several times. theyve also met on missions, but lucio doesnt know who mani is. sombra teases mani about it relentlessly

mani lives in the italian talon base with sombra. they are the only ones who live there full time of the inner circle.

mani has actually only been in talon for like,,, a year. but even soldiers who have been there for a decade are scared of him.

mani is 6′ 1″ and muscular

he is also trans! hes been on t basically since he met sombra, and hes already had top surgery.

he is 21, so he can drink in all countries, but he doesnt have an id in any country so he steals anyway.

his fingerprints are burned off, and the rest of his hands are also covered in more burn scars than skin. its mostly from touching things in the lab he wasnt supposed to or playing with fireworks and matches.

his nickname, given to him by sombra, is “pajarito.” it started bc she thought of him as a songbird bc of his hypnosis, but then she got him wings and it became a term of endearment.

his full name, he decided, is Manuel Estrella de Aves Hersteller. he picked it partially as a joke, but he kept it. obviously, he goes by mani. most people dont even know his last name

ok thats all for now but i could do more if another ask gets sent in :V

#answered #anonymous #cro zone #mani hersteller #nobody cares about my OCs

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thorne93 · 6 years

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The Right Path (Part 3)

Prompt: (From request) Hi! I was wondering, would you it be okay to request a Charles Xavier x telepath!reader? Where they have a mind link since their ability first showed up and so they already know each other even before theyve actually met and then he finds her when he first uses Cerebo and he and Erik go to her first?? Its an idea ive had for a while, but im not nearly an amazing writer like you!

Word Count: 1874

Warning: language (maybe??), child abuse, mental and physical abuse, depression…

Note: I LOVED this request. Thank you for sending it in. I am so sorry it took so long to write. I hope I did it justice dear. Plus, thank you for the super sweet note ; ) Beta’d by none other than @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling

James McAvoy: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

Charles Xavier: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midterms. Always a pleasure.

No, they were the worst. At least finals meant you could be done. Midterms just marked the middle of a dreadful era.

You sighed as you worked on your physics homework, your eyes straining from the numbers and symbols so badly that your vision actually got blurry. College wasn’t much better than high school, but at least you didn’t live with fearful and hateful parents. Your roommate didn’t want much to do with you, but you couldn’t blame her. You shut yourself off from her on day one. You couldn’t bear the thought of friends and knowing their every thought. At least if they weren’t a friend, their hateful and judgemental thoughts weren’t as hurtful. You had gotten to the point where you sort of tuned out other minds, but you could still hear them, all the time, no matter what.

“Y/N,” the dorm RA said as she came to the doorway and knocked on the bedroom door. You lifted your head from your studies and eyed her. “You have visitors in the lobby,” she informed.

You frowned at her, seeing the two men in her mind. At first, they weren’t recognizable to you, devilishly handsome, but no, not recognizable. You followed her down the lobby where the two men who looked like models spun to face you and you thought the wind had been knocked out of you.

A tiny gasp escaped you when you laid your eyes on him.

Charles Xavier.

He was real...And he was here. In front of you. You didn’t recognize him in the RA’s mind because she saw him for a brief second and she already contorted her memory of him. But in front of you now was the man who visited your dreams. He looked even more handsome in person. He was absolutely dashing.

“Charles,” you breathed without meaning to.

“You two know each other?” Erik asked, his eyes narrowing in the slightest.

Charles couldn’t take his ocean blues off of you though, they were permanently pressed to your face.

“Uh, yes, in a sense,” he answered. “She’s a telepath. She and I have had an unorthodox mindlink for quite some time now,” he informed with a handsome grin that made your insides melt. His voice...It was better than you could’ve ever imagined. And...He was British? Interesting.

“It’s so good to finally meet you,” you gushed as you ran forward and hugged him, happy tears spilling over. It wasn’t usually like you to hug or touch anyone but you felt so connected with him. Like he was the one person on earth you could trust.

He grinned widely in response as he hugged you back.

“You too.”

“How did you find me?” you questioned with glee.

“A long story. Do you have time to talk?” he asked.

You looked around, hoping to find a quiet place but everyone was chatting in the common area and it was rather loud and intrusive. You already heard the thoughts of the other students: “What are they doing here?” “Who are they?” “Why are they talking to her?” “How does she know two foxes like that?” “What could they possibly want with a nobody like her?”

Swallowing your insecurities you said, “Yeah, this way.” You lead them a few buildings away from campus to a small eatery, but only one other person was in there apart from the staff. “Do you want anything to drink? Coffee or...?” you questioned awkwardly, gesturing to the bar.

“No, we’re fine,” Charles assured with that glowing smile that you were sure would never tire of.

“Charles?” Erik said, an attempt to bring him back to reality.

“Right, right,” he quickly said, shaking his head. He gestured to the table in the corner with an open hand. “Shall we?”

You nodded and the three of you sat.

“I’m Erik Lensherr, by the way,” the other wildly attractive man stated as he extended his hand to you.

“Oh, charmed,” you said, taking his hand and shaking it. “You have no idea how thrilled I am to finally meet you,” you gushed your eyes going between the two of them.

“And I you,” Charles noted.

“Charles, you have a bit of drool on your chin, you might want to wipe that up while I talk to Y/N,” he noted sarcastically before giving you his full attention. Charles blushed, as did you, before you let a small giggle out, then you turned slightly more to your right to speak with Erik.

“As you may or may not have guessed, you have a mutation,” Erik started, “Charles tells me you're a telepath.”

“Is that what it’s called?” you asked innocently.

“Yes, it’s quite fascinating,” Charles began as he leaned his elbow on the table.

“Charles,” Erik chided again, his eyes going away from yours and in the general direction of his companion. “As I was saying, you’re a mutant, like us. Charles is a telepath as well and I can move metal.”

You frowned ever so slightly. “Well...while I’m really happy to know that there’s others like me, I don’t see what this has to do with anything. I’ve had these powers for four years, Charles has been contacting me through dreams, why are you two just now getting to me?”

This time, Charles answered, “Because I had no way of reaching out, but thanks to the CIA, they gave me a device that I could reach out to mutant minds. I immediately thought of you.”

“The CIA? Wha--what do they want?” you asked, panic rising in your voice as you tensed up.

Charles reached towards you. “Oh, no, no, it’s not bad. We...We have a job for you. We could use someone like you. We’re recruiting young mutants from all over the eastern coast. Would you be interested in joining us?”

You wanted to say yes...but you had a bit of a life here. And you still didn’t know them.

“How long would I be gone?” you questioned while your eyes darted all over the cafe, avoiding their intense gazes upon your face. Just having them look at you made your nerves, anxiety, and butterflies explode within you.

“We aren’t sure exactly,” Charles explained a little reluctantly, his gaze dancing to his friend’s. “We don’t know how long this job will take. Why?” he questioned incredulously. “Do you have something here?”

“Midterms?” you shyly answered, a gentle shrug coming into your shoulders as you re-made eye contact with him.

“Oh, well, midterms…” Charles noted, knowing how important education was, as he just graduated himself.

“What we’re facing is bigger than some midterm,” Erik said, his finger pointing down hard onto the table.

“I’m sure it is, but I’ve worked very hard to get where I am, I don’t think I want to throw it away for some random proposal to be in a circus of...freaks,” you spat, angry. They were just discrediting everything you’d worked hard for. Maybe it was because they were men, they didn’t get it, they didn’t get how difficult it was for a woman to get where you were.

“Y/N, please, hear us out,” Charles pleaded for a moment. “We want you with us. And mutants aren’t freaks, you’ve only been told that because of what your parents did to you,” Charles spouted quickly.

You narrowed your eyes on him.

“You think that you know because they cast me out that you know me? Or understand me?” you accused, getting angrier.

“He does,” Erik defended quickly. “He helped me. I was going to die, and Charles jumped into freezing waters to save me because I was blinded by rage.”

“Please...let us help you. We can help you learn to control your mind, your powers,” Charles informed. “You and I both know you want this. If you’re really worried about the scholarship, I’ll reimburse you,” he stated sincerely.

You pulled back from him as your eyes scanned him, wondering if he meant it.

“I mean it,” he reinforced, his eyes never once leaving yours. “But I really want you on this team. I really need to get to know you…So will you please help us?” he requested again.

After a moment, you nodded. “Okay, but I want a guarantee I can return to schooling.”

“I’ll write it with my blood if need be,” Charles promised, holding his hands up with a gentle face. You wanted to trust him, desperately. And they were mutants, like you, they weren’t like humans who would turn on you.

“So...what are we up against?” you tentatively asked, the butterflies still raging within, with these two super models sitting here gazing at you. But as soon as you asked the question, flashes of painful memories flickered in your mind. Your face whipped to Erik’s. “You poor man,” you gently said as your hand went to his cheek in an attempt to comfort what he just saw. His face contorted into confusion for a brief moment. “Shaw...What he did to you...Oh my gosh…” You shook your head. “I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly. “I can’t control it, I just hear and see the things you think. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy…”

Erik shook his head. “That’s alright,” he assured, a soft smile coming to his handsome face. “So now you know what we’re up against. You can trust us.”

You nodded slowly. “So when do we leave?”

“As soon as you’re ready,” Charles answered, that delicate light glowing in his eyes as he stared at you.

“Okay, um, give me an hour to see if I can close out of my semester, grab a bag, and we’ll go,” you informed.

“We’ll be waiting by the car outside your dorm,” Charles said as the three of you stood.

You nodded. “Okay. Thank you again,” you emphatically said as you stepped forward and hugged Charles again, relishing in the feeling of his arms around you. He felt like home. He felt right. Everything about him made you want to trust him. You let go and walked over to Erik to hug him. He seemed to be shocked at first but recovered himself and wrapped his arms around you. “Both of you,” you stressed, your eyes meeting Erik’s, trying to ignore how being this close to him made you feel.

-----------------------

You took care of withdrawing from school, packed a suitcase of your small bit of belongings and met them out front of the dorms. Erik was leaning against the car while Charles spoke to him, before they both looked up to see who was approaching them.

“Ready to go?” Charles asked with a beaming smile that made your breathing stutter.

“Uh...yes,” you said, trying to keep some form of composure around them.

“Here, let me take that,” Charles offered before taking your suitcase to the trunk.

“Allow me,” Erik sweetly said before opening the door and gesturing for you to get inside.

“Thank you very much.”

You slid into the back seat, nervous and giddy for this new chapter in your life. Praying you made the right choice, you tried to relax as Charles got behind the wheel and began driving to your new future.

#the right path #Charles Xavier #charles xavier fic #charles xavier x reader #Erik Lehnsherr #erik lensherr fic

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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voidimparchive · 6 years

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heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable

bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok

but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever

if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??

also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt

PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory

i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!

also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory

& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident

also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory

also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please

but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it

also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job

also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together

also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible

dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them

try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us

also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them

god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)

please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay

re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food

dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it

if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally

dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.

also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.

my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane

also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!

god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap

#long post #like really goddamn long as hell post like jesus fucking christ

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ampersandra · 7 years

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quick summary of an au: the squipped group all stays in theatre, + michael joins, as a unifying extracurricular and they put on dear evan hansen as their senior spring musical

more info if u wanna know more?

aight so. first things first this is gay so jot that down. boyf riends, richjake, and pinkberry are all gonna be in here to some extent

so the drama department is more popular/gets more funding after the fall play their junior year bc it was really good (while they were all squipped) and yknow they did their best after that oddly taken intermission where they had to put almost all of the actors in the hospital it’s a reasonable thing to mess anyone up.

so they all decide to legit step their game up. christine was already ride or die for theatre and (im stealing some book canon) jeremy is already kind of a theatre kid at heart so it’s more discovering a sleeping passion & he’s actually p good. michael joins bc he doesn’t want jeremy to lose this extra support group and he wants to branch out so his mental health is less dependent on jeremy but he can also spend time w/ him at rehearsal and stuff. he’s actually a v v good singer(thank u based george salazar) and they’re all glad when he tries out for spring musical their junior year. hes bad at auditioning bc he gets anxious but when he’s prepared & gets confident hoo boy(im projecting). brooke & chloe want to continue & get better bc christine watched rent w/ them and now they cant die until theyve performed “take me as i am” together. jake actually also honestly liked theatre. it helps him forget his problems and have fun with friends in another world and in another persons shoes. rich(and jeremy too kinda) likes it bc it’s following a script & directions and it helps him recover from the squip stuff by giving him a safe place where he can work out some issues. also all his friends are in it. jenna is less into the acting part but she likes to wield power and know everything about everyone, so she keeps doing tech stuff and can stage manager a show like nobodies business

btw at this point, chloe & brooke have been dating since the summer between junior & senior year, bc they got together when chloe asked brooke out to get frozen yogurt and asked her to be her gf and they shared a big cup of their fave flavors mixed together and got it on their nose. rich and jake got together at the beginning of their senior year bc jake hung out w/ rich a lot after his house burned down and all that. plus rich likes to get out of the house bc his dad and all. they started dating after rich kissed jake at mcdonalds at 3am after a tough night. they just showed up to school the next day extremely tired but happy and holdin hands. and also christine went out with jeremy for a bit during junior year but they broke up amicably and she spent some time figuring herself out and has decided she’s an ace lesbian(i love her)

anyway so they mostly all try out for the spring musical their senior year(dear evan hansen regardless of logistics) and, if you’ve ever known a drama teacher, mr reyes is absolutely biased about who he’s casting. on one hand these are the only kids to have stuck w/ theatre this long so they’re actually very good now and they’re reasonably cast, but also he’s playing favorites and all the main squad gets the roles in dear evan hansen. so these are the roles they get:

evan hansen: jeremy (bc jeremy walks in, and tho he’s more confident now, he channels himself two years ago and just. reyes casts him in his mind immediately. jeremy keeps a cast at the end and gives all the others away to the other cast members as cast party presents)

heidi hansen: christine (she deserves it!!! i mean like, christine has a trend of playing, if not exactly the main character, the interesting character thats an audience favorite ie puck, but i still totes think she’d play heidi so well. she finds the role challenging and fun. her fave song is good for you)

connor murphy: jake (he grows his hair out as long as he can after cast is posted and already hadnt gotten it cut in a bit. it kinda looks odd bc it’s not like, two-years-long, @ mike faist, but still, it works. he keeps it longer afterward. he also find the role really interesting and cool to portray. lots of complicated personas and not knowing the real connor... he portrays that p well. he feels bad about pushing jeremy tho)

zoe/zane murphy: michael (listen they have a limited cast and also i think he could rock it?? also i mean but. michael singing “only us” to jeremy and feeling like he’s really singing to him then… he mixes his style w/ zoe’s and makes it Gayer for costumes. also there arent many softer sounding, one-syllable masculine “z” names so zane it is. michael isnt as big on the acting but he loves music and he’s still good at acting so reyes is like, whatever, and makes him zoe and they just switch a bunch of pronouns and it’s gay now)

cynthia murphy: chloe (her own mom is a White Mom™ but she loves her so like. she bases it partly on her and partly on what she would feel like if brooke died. she gives the role good depth. she can also put to good use her ability to cry on command)

larry murphy: rich (he is actually double cast bc i didnt want to make up another random person to fill all the roles and i didnt feel like putting mr reyes in as a role bc that’s kinda pushing drama department believablility. anyway rich feels like he shines more in his other role but jake assures him he’s doin great in both. he doesn’t react to grief in this way but... he kinda bases it on his dad and gets praise for a genuine performance. he actually says that he’d rlly dislike mr. murphy irl, tho)

jared kleinman: also rich (rich likes this role a lot better and he connects to it more. jared & larry dont have any scenes together but who boi does rich have some quick changes. honestly i love that fact that there was an idea for a jared song at some point even tho it got scrapped so in this au jared & alana have a song that has big solos for them but is like technically one song. it shows more of their insecurities and it’s amazing and an idea i only had right now)

alana beck: brooke (she likes getting to have the character with high functioning anxiety and being able to portray that. she relates. especially w/ that song she & rich have i just now came up w/ the idea for. she has a lot of fun with the role but is glad she can portray it w/ depth too)

and jenna is stage manager and keeps the many, many techies is line and honestly the stage ninjas have never been faster, nor the lights more dramatic or the sound so good. they only play the wrong sound cue like once. during dress rehearsal. she puts together most of the stuff they used on the projectors as the social media stuff in the background bc she knows her way around it and makes it realistic. she loved finding baby pictures of jake to use for the connor project the most, though

anyway the drama department is better but it isnt broadway so they set up like three projectors and have a lot of tech people working lights and sound and being stage ninjas since they have more people now. the techies are super devoted bc some just love tech and some want real roles next year & have a lot of sucking up to do to mr reyes so they get good ones, and jenna keeps the them in line and people on target. it turns out really good, like amazing, and they get really good reviews in local paper. and then a person from a bigger news site or something comes on their first sunday matinee and it like. blows up big. they decide to renew it for another weekend in the school theatre bc they got a lotta profit. casting michael as zoe so it’s gay and then having a really good production is just the kinda shit theatre people like. it’s on multiple news channels and they talk to a bunch of interviewers and even get a little recognition from the current off-broadway production of evan hansen. there’s like two buzzfeed articles about them and they actually run like three more weekends after that at a local community theatre so it actually gets better with better facilities. the drama department basically has an exponential growth in success. reyes has been working for this. he has a chance at broadway. michael took some videos during various rehearsals and when he cuts it together as one video and puts it on youtube it goes viral and gets them EVEN MORE recognition.

they all get really good reviews but, generally, people love the effects and lights and sounds that jenna found and put together for integrating the social media stuff even in a high school production. christine is praised to high heaven on everything she did and making heidi a wonderful character w/ a powerful voice, jeremy is raved about for his portrayal of the anxiety and pining for zoe/zane(rip) and showing all of evan’s complicated emotions. rich is commended for having two roles and doing both very well, including giving depth to jared’s character and showing his insecurities. also his jared is apologetically bi, you can tell by his line deliveries in... everything. everyone loves jared & alanas song. everyone loves brooke’s portrayal of alana’s anxiety and chloe portrayal of grief is so genuine that people start crying when she starts crying and when they meet & greet the audience, people ask her how recently her dog died. michael’s musicianship is praised for taking a role written for a different voice and making it work really super well. he shows zoe/zane with more sad anger at connor so his requiem is like. amazing and believable but he’s softer towards evan, so it almost seems like he has a crush on him too from the beginning(lol) and less like an emotional rebound from loss. people really root for them so it’s like. even more bittersweet.

ALSO on opening night jeremy kisses michael as soon as the curtains shut after theyve taken bows and!!! they’re just full of adrenaline and the the show went great and theyre all so full of emotions that!! he kisses michael and michael kisses back and after, they just kinda stand there before giggling and holding hands. no one is surprised. the entire show opening night was probably just a test of will bc opening night is... made of magic tbh. it makes people perform like theyve never performed before. also jerm & mike make out on stage like three times so the tension was kinda building a bit. it takes them a couple mins to join everyone in meeting the audience in the lobby area but honestly after that night their performances are better than ever bc there’s less weird sexual tension and all the romantic songs sound even more heartfelt, which their friends thought was impossible when it was just pining but now they’re together. and somehow it’s sappier. but yes it’s,,, all good,,, theyre all happy and together and i love them,,,

so that’s most of the ideas so far. and it’s super long so kudos if u got thru it all.

tl;dr, the squip squad puts on dear evan hansen as a spring musical their senior year and they get to be amazing actors despite the musical canon and the boyf riends get together on opening night and it gets really popular bc theyre real good

#bmc #be more chill #dear evan hansen #michael mell #jeremy heere #arts #bemorechillnet #be more chill deh au #aight peeps we been talkin bout this in the bmc skype net #yknow #ignoring the logistics of actually trying to put on dear evan hansen while in hs #bc bmc is set in the consistent ~near future~#ive been writing this throughout the day

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shootfortherightreasons · 5 years

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daryldix0n:

“Ain’t you tired? You should be gettin’ some sleep.” Daryl asks quietly as they sit next to the campfire. “Before it gets so late, ya end up being worse than if you’d just stayed awake.” They’ve been out scavenging for more guns, more ammunition, anything they can get their hands on for the war that’s brewing. One of the rare occasions where it’s just the two of them. Daryl figured Carl needed a break. Being caged up in one spot while he knew what was going on outside Alexandria’s walls was going to drive him nuts.

A two day run to see what they could find in the opposite direction of where they last ran? Michonne understood. She let Carl go with Daryl’s promise that’s all they’d take being made when he was gearing up. With how things were going? Bad to worse could happen in a heartbeat. The last person Carl needed to be seen with was him. The last person Alexandria needed to be missing for long was Carl. Two days and they’d get back. Daryl had already scouted possible stops when he was out with Aaron all that time ago. Circling back made things quicker. Here’s to hoping they found something.

Patting Carl on the side of his head, Daryl ticked his chin towards the tent. “This whole me taking first watch thing was supposed to include you sleepin’. S’not working with you out here.” Was there something he needed to talk about? The question came with an expectant, upward lift of Daryl’s brow. His look all too familiar to anyone who’s spent as much time with him as Carl has. okay. spill the beans.

@daryldix0n

🔫 It wasn’t until he was beside Daryl that he felt... safe. Sleeping had eluded him and he couldn’t shut his mind down enough to rest properly. Even now, though it was lighter since he had someone he trusted at his side, his limbs retained some level of shaking. Maybe he had thought about it all too much, but they were getting ready for war. Both of them being out here could have been more dangerous or safer than if they were at Alexandria right now. They were out in the open but also away from any areas the Saviors knew to look.

No matter how he looked at it, he had started this war. They all planned it, sure, but he had taken the first shots in the first battle and he had absolutely no doubt that there would be retaliation. It wasn’t like he wasn’t okay with this happening, and he had wanted it to begin with. Likely, it was simply the realization of the reality that it was happening. But... what if this wasn’t how they wanted it to start? At the end of the day, Daryl felt like the only person who wouldn’t seem to care about the how or why. Just that it happened.

Dealing with The Governor back in the day didn’t seem half as bad as this. They had time to plan and really work with the geography and their home location. That was a lot different in a place so big and with so many more enemies. Enemies that really wanted what they fought for, no less, rather than recruited civilians. “I tried to sleep. ...I guess I’m... scared. Enough that it’s distracting me. Before we left, I didn’t even tell Dad about it. What I did back there... there’s no taking that back, and now everyone has to deal with it. Besides, I almost died back there. I guess it just hasn’t... really... left my mind yet. I just came to sit with you because I feel... a lot safer next to you.”

#daryldix0n #;; daryldix0n: Thread: 2 ;;

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sassenachwanderer · 5 years

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Singapore Bound

So I’m back. I’m one of those insufferable people that believes in the magic of new days and New Years. So it’s 2019. A shiny new world and I decided to christen the year with another trip and to take the number of continents I’ve visited to four. So Singapore it is. I’m aware that I haven’t finished my Scotland adventure and I haven’t even started with Copenhagen and Florida (survived a hurricane!) but let’s start with the here and now rather than playing catch up. So 19th of January arrives and I’m off to Singapore with my dad. He lived here as a child but hasn’t been back in 55 years. He’s always wanted to come back and I’ve always wanted to go. So perfect travelling companions. For those not aware my dad walks with two sticks and is like any man in his mid 60s. Saturday morning arrives and I’ve rehearsed the plan of getting from my home in Essex to Heathrow Terminal 5 about 7009099 times. Those familiar with me know that I’m an overly prepared traveller. Not nervous exactly, just more that I like to plan in PLENTY of safety time. Three things went wrong on the journey. I hope that means the trip itself will be fine. 1. Literally moments before my scheduled departure time my dad popped the button on his trousers. In my sympathetic none panicking state I threw cotton and needle in his general direction and left the house. 2. The first part of our journey was by train. The one we were aiming for was cancelled and we had a 30 minute wait to the next one. Instantly my mind entered a maze of planning and options in case the next one was also cancelled. I though I handled it well. My dad later said that if the next one was cancelled he thought I’d have steam coming out of my ears. 3. The green shoes. My dad has had these green shoes since I was only a few months old (I’m over 30 now). That’s along time. They’ve been re-soled a few times but still. We’re sat on the circle line from Tower Hill to Earls Court and the sole of one half comes off. So we end up having to do a shoe change and give a memory from my childhood a unceremoniously blunt funeral. Fortunately we still got to the airport four hours before our flight and I’m now considering if my dad is a lucky travel charm. I soon discovered the other drawback - on running into the Glasgow Warrior Rugby Team at the airport. My father is not the person with which to converse with about how I thought an ovary burst over the red hair and oh my god those thighs. The flight was a flight. Direct at least. 12.5 hours. Not quiet long enough for me to want to kill the people who can afford the fancy bed seats but long enough for me to wonder who I need to marry to be able to afford the seats with extra legroom and a foot rest. So we arrive. 30 degrees which is perfect for this Northern Girl. And all I can say is Singapore is great and I don’t want to leave. I instantly already like it more than allot of other cities I have visited. It’s everything I love about an urban city and all I want is to get out and see it. We navigate the MRT and its everything public transport should be. (Note that ticket machines only take certain notes and coins which is so helpful when newly arrived tourists only have $100 bills). We navigated to the correct station and walk to the hotel. Okay we may have been tired, hot and hungry and I may have accidentally taken us the long way but we made it. Of course only after I wondered if I’m destined to be the death of my parents thinking I’d killed my dad on the walk and almost killing my mother going around Versailles. The main observation since arriving has been that Singapore also makes me feel a bit odd. It has such a massive colonial history and American influences meaning that so many things are so familiar but not quiet right. Like seeing a Costco, American style road signs, 7-elevens and street names like Dover and Northumberland, the MRT having not only a circle line but also assigning it as the yellow line, just like London. But then rickshaws and palm trees. So far only one thing has disconcerted me to the point that I feel physically ill. On escalators they stand on the left. Having spent six years so far navigating the London tube network it has been hard coded into my very marrow that you stand on the right. The announcements tell you, commuters yell at you, they’ve even painted feet on the escalators on the right. I’m not exaggerating here, if there is one thing that makes Londoners near homicidal it’s standing on the left. Not sure I’m going to make it the week. So a boring update. But I’m trying to get back into writing and trying to set myself a good routine. No photos today but I promise there will be some and even more for my friends and family (sorry/ not sorry). The next morning - Monday morning and first day here and I have had the greatest nights sleep of my life!

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spiralguide · 7 years

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hiveswap liveblog part 1

- the home screen music is so pretty! love the harp + piano + synth strings combo and the chord progs. reminds me a bit of the sims opening music somehow - ooh that opening noise was quite undertale esque - fucksake my laptop can't play the opening cutscene :I :I i guess im in a room now. some nice monstery bg sound

BEDROOM - roxy is the babysitter i guess? and their dad is gpa harley? - oh wow joey actually goes to school that's slightly jarring. breaks the isolated feel you get from the comic - oh look a fiduspawn reference. there's a cheruby key in there. ok - couple of misses with the writing style so far for me but some good hits. - what the fuck there's a manthro chap there. solid "what a daring dream" and pony pals references - there's so much to look at why is there so much to look at - damn that outside landscape is pretty! - more misses. man it's hard to avoid the fact that a walkaround game written by hussie would have been hilarious. but then if it were written by hussie i would be being much less critical of it so maybe not a fair comparison - ok jude using walkie talkie speak is cute. the joke of him being way too serious about this is pretty funny and his dialogue is landing well w me - wow was that... a misspelling. on 'material'

HALLWAY - good god that's a lot of crap in the hallway. i hope i don't have to click on all of it - I LIKE THIS MUSIC. I REALLY LIKE THE GLOCKENSPIELY MIDDLE 8. the staccato string chords remind me of something from the homestuck soundtracks but i can't think what - what the fuck is the signless doing in the hallway - the geography of this hallway is not immediately clear but it opens out on a landing which is why both directions of an apparent fork go the same way - more stuff is landing w me. tho some of the LOOK / ACTION choices seem a bit confusing and superfluous - what are pogs.... google says milk caps. is this a weird american thing - the significance of the mulder/scully preferences was lost on me because i don't know which is which lmao i am a fake nerd - "i better shake a leg" what. does that mean. hurry up? - this is a VERY pretty game i have to say

ATTIC - oh gpa harley hangs out up here? this is weird and i don't get the familial basis of this game. feels like a weird au - miss and hit - ooooh nice music upon peering into the attic i hope there's more when you go in - more good jude dialogue - it feels weird to be playing a game where you have to click to move vs like, the johns land walkabout flash which was much simpler and yet allowed you to navigate with keys. i keep reaching for them

STAIRS - a miss... oh god. bad miss - there's a picture of jake and jane. and roxy. still a solid what the fuck on that one. and there's also a wedding picture of joey's random hot mom with mustachioed jake english and just. what is he doing there. ok foreshadowing that the dog betrayed jake which sounds stupid but whatever - another miss. why isn't there a space after any of the ellipses. i noticed this in the first room but it felt petty to mention it then and now it is annoying

DOWNSTAIRS - a tuba? this music is pretty noiry. i would LOVE a noiry soundtrack, trollcops was always one of my fav ever hs songs. tho there's some weird piano happening in the background which doesn't fit tonally and is confusing me - does joey have a crush on the green lady from reboot? sure seems like it. ok the idea of jake's daughter having a thing for GREEN ladies is p funny - aww i was really excited for her to play a haunting melody. MORE CREEPY MUSIC - oh some blue ladies! yeah she's defo gay and not being shy about it in her internal monologue omg yay - may have been another typo there but i clicked too fast to tell - thing where she turned the static noise off seems kinda unnecessary but ok - that commentary lacked a full stop... - spice mix seems irrelevant - the rooms aren't labeled or anything and it's not v helpful and making everything feel a bit disordered - why are jude's question marks separated... also it would be funnier if he did a vocalised "question mark" a la kanaya. but his dialogue is still good - something i only just noticed because im dumb: joey types in jane's blue but no capitalisation. jude types in yellow which is a new colour, it's not sollux's yellow - the action box for going back up the stairs from the living room is so tiny wtf. also that's probably not what it's called i don't know game things - this is the point at which i would be consulting a walkthrough were there one available. oh thank god there are the flashlight batteries. the different batteries in the sylladex are not labeled very clearly that's not that helpful - significantly more misses than hits in this part of the game BASEMENT - this music is a little cruder but i like the jazzy tuba(?) still - equal hits and misses - jake likes betty crocker in this universe? - missed that cutscene again. fucksake. and that one - battle music is alright. i like the melody but theyve gone for a weird synth and there are some weird false relations - "the room where it slappens?" what? the strife writing is really hard to read. altho "let's do lunge - check please" is silly but funny - i love jude's dialogue, it's well done. joey just kinda talks the same way as jane but lower case. she even has the skepticism thing - haha wiliness attribute. i notice that the game isn't doing much in the way of inventing its own running gags, it's actually just still referencing those of the original comic. not that they aren't working but. it could do better TROPHY ROOM - is that a different strife music or am i an idiot. nice bass and a maybe less offensive synth? oooooooh nice 8bit work - i really like the concept of the strife text, what a good adaptation of the comic. most of the puns are a bit weak tho. but a few are gooduns. - how the fuck do i win. ive tried all the options. oh there we go - fun victory text but the music is basic and annoying. oh the same rank ascension jargon as homestuck that's nice if in a less readable/interesting format than in the comic - more hits than misses in this room! that digression on a mexican folk monster is pretty random. im still very into the glockenspiely part of this music, that wasn't a thing that stopped happening or anything - there are some ashes in this room. I have a newfound appreciation for john's exploration sequence at the start of homestuck. i wouldn't say im tired of the point-and-click thing yet but im not loving it - some of jude's dialogue reminds me of WV's commands to john before he reads the etiquette book. abrupt capitals. maybe that's where some of my affection for it comes from - i do like the conversation options those are pretty well done

#hiveswap #gonna leave it tonight (it's 11pm for me) lol im exhausted from that

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