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ozymoron · 2 months

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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️#personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

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arabella-s-arts · 2 months

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Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.

The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.

Edit: To the people who say I can't use the siren as an example because the siren is supposed to be his brother, and therefore his siren being a man doesn't work. If you reread that bullet point, then you will realize that I didn't put it down as just simply Dean's siren being a man. I recognize that the siren is supposed to be his brother. It's the fact that Sam still thinks the siren infects people through sex, not knowing that it's actually through saliva when he realizes who the siren is. So when he sees that Dean's siren is a guy, he had to assume they had sex, and he does not seem surprised by this at all.

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clouvu · 1 month

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Save me french yuri... Save me

#genshin impact #arledrone #sandrone #arlecchino #haha remember when we all thought that sandrone and arlecchino would both show up in fontaine and be gay together?#good times.... good times #jk i'm ready to end it all actually #I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE ONE LAST MAJOR FRENCH PATCH BEFORE NATLAN BUT IVE JUST ABOUT LOST ALL HOPE #the way that literally every wlw arle pairing got fed so well following arle's drip marketing EXCEPT for arledrn... hate it here so bad #anyways shipping aside HOW is it possible that the frenchiest of french harbingers with heavy ties to machinery #and like two major world quests tied to specifically to her lore and is even MENTIONED of being present in fontaine #also being one of the first harbingers ever mentioned dating back all the way to the description of chode's teaser trailer #just???? doesnt show up??????#Sandy enjoyers are stronger than any us marine because my GOD are we struggling out here #anyways ignore the fact that I completely forgot to draw sandy's wind up key it was hard drawing through the tears #(actually it was cause i half-assed this doodle but we dont talk about that)

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saturnsocoolioyep · 5 months

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In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

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cerealbishh · 1 month

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"Hey, we found you."

"I guess you did!"

#ffvii rebirth #ffvii remake #ffvii rebirth spoilers #tifa lockhart #aerith gainsborough #aerti #aerith x tifa #briana white #britt baron #ffviiedit #ffviiremakeedit #tifalockhartedit #aerithgainsboroughedit #aertiedit #oh i feel SICK #i'm seriously ill i think #the closest scene we got to them actually SAYING this was aerith being like ''i'm glad you guys are all alright''#i wish i could've kept in how long it actually took for tifa to bring her hand out to touch her #tw: death #tw: grief #tw: loss #it's the fact that the first thing tifa does when she arrives at aerith's side in the first scene is touch aerith...#and in the second one she struggles to even bring herself to...#give the ''aerith will never smile or laugh'' speech to tifa in the next part pls i BEG you /hj #her tearfully saying ''aerith!'' broke me even more after barret's ''I'LL KILL YOU!''#i know that speech is integral to cloud's character so may be don't do that

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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 28 days

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weed brownie that turns you into the ancient greek amphora version of yourself

#Ultrakill #minos #sisyphus #king sisyphus #king minos #id hesitate to tag this as their ship name but it is kind of gay to eat a guys weed brownie.#also it was hard for me to find an appropriate ancient greek depiction of sisyphus i was comfortable using #and im not even fully comfortable with this one!!!#but uh anyways yeah its greek blackfigure pottery and most of the figures skintones are that color on the pottery which makes it feel more #ambiguous than the paintings i found where hes like. white. i know greeks were a majority white population and its only nowadays that #more awareness is brought to the fact not all greeks where white but anywaysssss #the tldr is i was struggling to find an ancient greece depiction of sisyphus that wasnt like. a white guy jumpscare #that would be a little funny though. weed brownie that turns you white. scary

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mintjeru · 2 years

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(not ship)

the way i was like “don’t expect much art from me for a while!” and then go and do something like this 😐

open for better quality | no reposts | ID under the cut

[Image description: A four page comic detailing Kaeya’s Hidden Strife event dialogue with Adelinde and his strained relationship with Diluc.

A box on the first page states, “Hidden Strife event final day”. Adelinde explains with her head bowed politely, “I’m sorry, Captain Kaeya, but the Dawn Winery is having a fire safety inspection today. You’ll have to come back another day.” Kaeya averts his eyes with a concerned expression.

On the second page, Kaeya forces a smile. He starts: “Haha... seriously, shouldn’t you at least ask me to stay for din- -ner?”. He sees something in the distance and his eyes widen in shock.

The third page depicts Aether and Paimon running out of the manor. “Come on!” Paimon exclaims. “Diluc is waiting for us at Falcon Coast!” Kaeya and Adelinde can be seen in the background.

The fourth page starts with a flashback to a scene in Angel’s Share during Diluc’s Noctua: Chapter 1 story quest. Kaeya recalls telling him, “I feel strangely comforted by the fact that you now have an assistant, Diluc.” “I just wish,” he thinks to himself, “it could have been me standing by your side again.” At the bottom of the page, a young Diluc and Kaeya dressed in their Knights of Favonius uniforms laugh together. Kaeya has a hand on Diluc’s shoulder. Diluc has an arm slung over Kaeya’s shoulder and bends over slightly as he laughs.]

#kaeya #diluc #ragbros #aether #paimon #genshin impact #genshin #fanart #myart #comic #the whole time i was making this i was like 'why do i draw stuff that makes me sad'#so now i get to subject all of you to ragbros angst #the parallel between diluc asking the traveler to stay for dinner vs. kaeya not even getting an offer from adelinde #and the fact that kaeya was one step behind in knowing where diluc was whereas we got to meet him and tag along to falcon coast #judging from the letters they do have some sort of working relationship but man. it's very stiff and limited #they make me Really Sad ok #struggled a bit drawing kaeya's expressions #i hope i managed to convey the emotions well enough #also now taking ragbros fic recs bc i read glacial heart a while back and it was so good (cried my eyes out)

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rox-of-iu · 10 months

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hulloo, i am here once again with cultivate....but not the usual one (~_~;)

so funny thing! i had most of these already done from before, but felt a bit silly so i didnt post them. but then (spoiler) we got Tao Ying in his fresh new look and like.. i had to draw him and post the rest of the gang along with him hksfh. so here, the sillays

🍑Tao Ying

🐉Qing Mushu

🦆 The Empress

🐗The General

aaand more sillies of the goobers

aaaaand thats it hdjhdsjfhds so sorry for the long post lmao

characters yoinked from @neonghostcat cultivate

#long post #sorry hadhkdjf #cultivate #cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain #listen i am not immune to making humanizations of everything i can get my hands on hajhsh #i am obviously not saying this is how theyd canonically look like im just having fun #i know im missing the mark verily but ykno hjcbsd #speaking of which #i struggled so much with tao ying lmaooo #fun fact this is not in fact my first design that i had in mind after reading the new chapter #he was supposed to be more uhhh airy? not so heavily set in physical reality ykno hsahkdj #but i couldnt rly put him on paper properly for the longest time and finally hit a vibe with this design so thats what i stuck with #and he grew on me so #even tho he is prolly really really not accurate to neonghostcats vision hahha #anyway the group pic was supposed to convey that theyre all scarily tall but instead it just makes SY look like a baybey oh well #hahh cheers #WAIT OMG I JUST NOTICED BUT i hope no one interprets the empress saying the bottom bit to the ducklings shbdnxksndndk omggg #THOSE TWO DRAWINGS ARE OBVS NOT CONNECTED OH GOD o(-<

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journal-from-the-heart · 6 months

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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7 #he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them #than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was #so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times #but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute #that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems #from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now #and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened #childhood trauma #trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #cptsdawareness #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

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darubyprincx · 8 months

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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important